Category Archives: Live Action Movies

The Outfit Review

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Whenever you have a gunman going up against some kind of a criminal syndicate you figure that they have to be absolutely doomed. There is just no way to outwit these kind of fighters right? You’re basically fighting off a whole army and yet that’s exactly what happens here. The Outfit got so used to winning that they are rather overconfident by this point. Definitely a dangerous spot to be in.

The movie starts out with the gang murdering Earl’s brother. Earl isn’t happy when he finds out about this after being released from prison. They try finishing him off as well but Earl was too fast and turns the tables. Now he wants revenge and so he’s going to start attacking “The Outfit” and stealing their money until they agree to his ransom demands. It’s an ambitious plan but he has a good friend willing to help him out. The only wild card here is his girlfriend. He wants her in the mix but she could end up being a liability. Will Earl’s stubbornness really get him into trouble?

Now this is at its core a film about villains fighting other villains. There aren’t really any heroes in the story, after all Earl was doing fairly heavy time in prison for his crime. So you have to decide if you’re rooting for Earl and his revenge or if you think the syndicate should win. Additionally you could just root for them all to be defeated and arrested by the cops but of course that is a bit of a longshot.

The movie also does make sure to show that Earl isn’t a particularly nice guy. His relationship with Bett is super toxic the whole time. He gets physical with her rather quickly and so again you are reassured that he is a total villain at heart. He is not some super nice guy or anything like that. The villains are all corrupt as well so it’s basically a wash. To an extent you don’t really mind whichever side gets it.

When a car tune-up goes wrong thanks to some false allegations from a scorned lady, we do unfortunately get some animal violence as a dog is murdered. That was definitely the low point of the film. The movie definitely did not need that scene and finding a way to avoid it would have helped the film greatly. There was enough tension and loss in the film without having to go that far. The whole plot there was really a bit out of nowhere and you could have just skipped the scene as a whole.

The film is at its best when it’s just about Earl and Cody taking out villains at every base that they stop at. It does make the Outfit look rather weak though with how they don’t beef up security or do much of anything. The leader himself can’t even be bothered until it all finally comes close to home. Still, you’d think there would be some communication going out and alerting everyone of what’s going on though. That would have made sense and then the main two would find it harder and harder to break into the bases. Instead the difficulty never really goes up as the Outfit doesn’t adapt at all.

Earl even laughs about how easy it is at the end of the film. He’s not wrong either since the whole thing was super easy. This is the kind of film that I’m surprised didn’t have a more somber or ironic ending like the two betraying each other or not. I guess ultimately they just made it through the situation and would be ready for a sequel. This time they’ll probably want to avoid adding any more characters because Bett definitely made all the rookie mistakes you could imagine. It’s always annoying to see characters just breaking the safety rules because they got upset or impatient. Not a very good business move.

Aside from the toxic romance parts, Earl works decently well as the main character. It’s just a big thing to try and put to the side. Not having any romance plot would have definitely been a good thing for the film because it’s not like it really served any kind of purpose here. Cody was a good friend and definitely came through a whole lot of times. If Earl had been on his own then he would never have been able to get as far as he did. For all of his skills, one man alone would not beat an organization while just having one more makes this a whole new ballgame.

As it is there is still a considerable amount of plot armor here. At one point the villains trap them inside a fairly small room with agents posted everywhere and they manage to shoot their way out of there. Even the main villain comments on how crazy this is. I’d be upset too since the organization had the element of surprise and the numbers advantage. When you still find a way to lose with all of that on your side, well there is no real coming back from that. It means that your organization is seriously lacking in skill and it goes back to how complacent they’ve become. They rely on their reputation over skill at this point and it really came back to bite them.

Overall, I would have appreciated a tougher end for the main characters. At the end of the day they were still full on villains after all. Not even the sympathetic kind but the full blown villains kind with punching out secretaries and being quick to fight. I was not expecting the ending at all though so that definitely took me for a spin. The movie made some critical errors at key moments so without that this would have fared better. If you really want to check out a big Noir title then you should watch this one but the genre is already stuffed with plenty of good films. So you could do better with one of those.

Overall 4/10

The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009) Review

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The original Pelham film was definitely a solid one and I had pretty good hopes for the remake as well. The story has a strong foundation after all so I don’t see any reason why the remake would be any different. You’ll be pretty engaged the whole time with what’s going on and while the original would still take the win, this one can definitely hold its own. The film has to succeed in spite of the technical aspects that threaten to hold it back though.

The film starts with Ryder and a bunch of other terrorists running into a train and taking it over. These guys are professionals and trap it in the middle of a tunnel. It will be difficult for anybody to get in there and do much of anything now. Their demands are simple, they want 10 million dollars and they want it in 1 hour. The MTA employee who gets the call is Garber and so you can say that he’s really drawn the short straw here. He’s been dealing with a lot himself as he was demoted after being accused of taking a bribe. Garber declares that he is innocent but the investigation is still ongoing. If anybody dies during this event, it won’t exactly help his case.

There is a lot of tension the whole time since the majority of the film is really about the conversation happening over the phone. Garber is trying to prevent anyone from dying but of course he ultimately doesn’t have much control over that. He is dealing with somebody who is absolutely crazy and so you can never tell exactly how such an encounter will go. There is a professional hostage guy here to help out but even for him this is ultimately a bunch of guesses based on prior experience. The same tactics don’t always work.

Over the course of the film the villain begins to feel a connection with Garber as two men who were betrayed by the system although he never actually gets through to Garber to see it that way. Garber won’t let himself be pulled into the lies and the only time I would say he really faltered was when he allowed Ryder to dictate the terms and make him confess to a crime. I was originally thinking Garber would just fake it in order to appease the guy but I guess in the end he just wasn’t very innocent here. That part was too bad since it would have been nice if he actually did have everything together and didn’t make such a big mistake. Everyone is entitled to make mistakes of course but it would have been a good way for Garber to break away from the narrative that he was similar to Ryder in any way.

Regardless since it’s under duress I assume the confession couldn’t be used for much. Garber definitely takes a lot of real chances during the negotiations and of course it is a lot easier to backseat drive than to be in the situation. Ultimately I think you can never go anywhere with terrorists and you have to try going out fighting. Take out the gun and at least nail one or two of them. Inside of the train, one guy ultimately can’t think of a plan and just tells the villains to shoot him. They oblige and it was nice that he took the bullet for another passenger but if you’re going to die anyway, I say you should at least make a play for the gun.

Your odds are slim but at least they’re not 0 like when you give up. The instant you give up is when it is all actually over. You have to prolong that period for as long as you can. I would also bring up the numbers advantage but realistically you can’t count on any of the passengers. Odds are that they will fold or back out when the going gets tough. So if you make a move, it’s with the understanding that you really could die there. Not an easy thing to have to contend with.

As for the villain himself, Ryder was definitely real unhinged. The guy was smart enough to have a big plan and everything but it was definitely clear that he wasn’t afraid to die either. He was taking a big swing and absolutely did not want to live through any outcome other than victory. So he really made sure that winning or dying were his only two options. Most of his speeches ultimately come down to the crazed ramblings of your average villain but they’re still entertaining enough. The film did a good job of showing just how unhinged the terrorists can be.

The Mayor also has a fun role here. He’s definitely not the nicest guy but he has quite a bit of backbone in this version and can back up his tough talk. The guy has a lot of unhappy constituents but he does try to help in the end. Additionally I appreciated that he had Garber’s back in the end. It seems like otherwise everyone was going to railroad him even after helping out during the adventure which would have been annoying considering just how many risks he took by this point. It would have been such a bad look for everyone.

I will say that part of the ending was a bit contrived though. The film really wanted to finish off on a personal note but it relies on plot armor with the cops not making any kind of move. Realistically I would have expected either Garber or both him and the villain to have been shot. It’s rare to see the cops just standing around while actual gunfire goes out. I get the overall message but they could have implemented it better.

The only particularly weak part of the film is the soundtrack and directing though. The opening song is so bad that you’re just rolling your eyes the whole time. Then for the directing, there is way too much slow mo to the point where you think your TV is starting to lag. Then you have the zoom ins when people talk as if this is a comedy show. The film is doing a whole lot but none of it really services the film. I would have removed all the freeze frames, all the slow mo, and definitely had less camera shaking during the event. These things just felt like elaborate distractions and they did not pay off.

Overall, This was a pretty fun movie. It keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole time and the writing was really solid. In the ending I would have liked Garber to have gone home with a whole gallon of milk but you can’t have everything. It takes a very different approach from the original film in different ways and that does help to keep things fresh. It means that you have a good reason to watch both versions of the film since they won’t be ultra similar to each other. As long as they can keep it fresh, I’ll welcome more versions of the story.

Overall 7/10

Cahill U.S. Marshal Review

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It’s time for a classic western but in this one we do have some annoying kids who do their best to hold everything back. They make all the worst decisions constantly and can’t fight or anything. They get old real quick during the movie and so you wish they had a smaller role. The film itself is still good enough but all the best scenes are when the kids are finally not on screen for it.

The movie starts with Cahill taking down some more criminals. He is known as the best Marshal around and everybody knows to fear him. His skills with the gun are unmatched by any other fighter and when he is on the case, all others better retreat. Unfortunately when he returns home, there is a big prison break and a few people are killed. He asks his son Danny to help track them down but what he doesn’t know is that Danny was in on it. The kid is a total traitor and his silence is causing some huge problems. Will Cahill be able to figure out what’s going on before it is too late?

There are a lot of problems here with Danny. For starters, teaming up with a gang of villains to rob a bank and then not telling on them even after someone dies is crazy. The best time to tell would have been near the beginning when they were in prison and Cahill had his gun. The whole movie should have been over in a few minutes at that rate but of course the kids weren’t smart enough for that. I give Danny most of the blame though because he was actively helping out the villains and also because he’s older. He should have been a much better role model for Billy instead of just leading him down the wrong path the whole time.

He wasn’t even a nice guy outside of the whole prison angle. He was needlessly rude to the Indian lady and didn’t seem to like them in general. The guy has no manners and so you just can’t root for them. Meanwhile Billy is young but he should still know better than to go around working with crooks. He should have ratted them all out to Cahill at the first opportunity that he got. At a certain point you have to be willing to make the heroic call on your own even if it means that you are going against your seniors.

As for the main villain Abe, he does a lot of posturing but is only brave when the kids are around. In a straight fight Cahill would have had him defeated almost immediately. In a lot of ways this villain is extremely unimpressive as a result and only hangs in there because of the kids. Without them in the picture then this film would have been extremely short. He really has fun smirking and laughing but yeah the guy is very petty.

I liked Cahill a lot though and he really had to deal with too much drama here. The guy is working a very honest job taking down criminals and risking his life on a daily basis. It would have been nice if the kids could have at least acknowledged that a little bit instead of hitting the panic button and causing a scene right away. I don’t think that would have been asking too much right? I also give him credit for eventually putting the pieces together and coming up with a plan. It was a very risky plan that kept the kids in danger but they did get themselves into that situation so most of that is on them.

Cahill’s right hand man Lightfoot was a good character. I would say this is the only part of the film that gets mean spirited because the way he went out was rather over the top. He meets a violent end and the guy has been minding his own business until Cahill recruited him. It would have been nice if he could have had a bit of a happier ending. If he had to go out, maybe after a long fight scene where he took a few of them with him. It just felt like the death wasn’t really needed for the story.

It’s not like this is a particularly dark or dreary western either. I think that’s part of why it feels a bit out of nowhere. Yes there are a lot of threats but that’s really all they are. You have the sense of danger without the film going all hardcore about it. Lightfoot’s death is really the only part that fits that bill. Once again, it’s something to blame the kids for because he would not have been in that spot otherwise. The fact that Danny came close to letting some innocent people die for the crime is also crazy.

Now it’s true that the group weren’t innocent in general as they were all committing crimes and getting into trouble but they were innocent of this particular crime which is what counts. Yeah Danny ultimately gets ready to do the right thing but without Cahill there, Danny would have died before he could have really done anything about it. He definitely didn’t plan things out particularly well.

Overall, Cahill U.S. Marshal is a good film but one that is held back from the kids. There is such a stark contrast between his scenes and those of the kids. Whenever the kids are on screen you end up getting really annoyed, however when the Marshal is on screen then you’re going to get a fairly intense scene showing just how skilled he is. It’s like two different films at some points. So if you really like westerns then I imagine you will enjoy this one too but you will be able to tell that it is a level under that of your average westerns. Those blow this one away and also have a lot more action.

Overall 6/10

Winter’s Bone Review

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This review’s of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film about the horrors of living in a rough neighborhood where you can’t trust anybody. There is a lot of trouble going on everywhere and so it makes for a tense adventure. One that is without many pleasant scenes to be honest so as a whole the movie has a hard time trying to cross the boundary into being good. The mystery is interesting but to an extent you start thinking the resolution doesn’t really matter and the heroine just needs to find a way out of there.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Ree. She’s a teenager who has been given the daunting task of looking after her whole family after her father vanished. Her mother is super sick and can barely think anymore while her two siblings are too young to look out for themselves. They live really far out in the middle of nowhere so it’s not like there are any institutions or agencies that can help them. Now it turns out her father put the house as collateral before he ran off with a bunch of debts and a criminal record. If she doesn’t find him and make the guy go to court within a few days, her family will be homeless and that will be game over. Can she find him though?

The main reason why finding him will be tricky is because everyone around here are involved with drug dealing or know the people who are in it and don’t want to be a snitch. Talking around these parts is basically a death sentence after all and yet Ree needs to find her answers. The deeper she gets, the more danger she puts herself in and even gets beaten up. They may all have a lot of family around these parts but these people may as well be strangers. The business comes first before family and of course that puts Ree in a really bad position.

Her uncle is really the only character who defends her. Most of the others are willing to murder her when she digs into what’s happening. Yes she gets some help by the very end but it does feel a bit hollow since earlier they were going to let her die. They say that tough times show you a person’s true self and Ree definitely got to see the true feelings of many of her family members. She will know that they definitely can’t be counted on. It would be one thing if they were all just staying quiet about her father but when they jump into threats and violence then that’s crazy.

Additionally, if they wanted to get her off the trail then they should have helped her out. Maybe find a way to get her another place to live, bribe the courts, etc. They could have found some incentives which would make her want to drop the case, instead all they did was ensure that she absolutely had to keep on searching. She really did not have any choice in the matter. While the ending may be happy to an extent, you can’t help but feel like things will still be bad for a very long time. She certainly created a lot of enemies and rocked the boat during this adventure. That generally does not turn out very well.

As a character Ree is good though. She is risking her life the whole time for a task that shouldn’t even be hers. Ultimately she stepped in to fill the shoes of her parents who were both not able to handle the job. Additionally she managed to stay away from drugs and all of the bad habits that everyone else in the film had. So she gets a lot of credit there.

The only other character who I would give credit is Teardrop, the uncle who helped her out. He’s also risking his life by supporting her in any way because the rest of the community won’t like that. It takes a lot of bravery and guts to go against the masses and yet he does this on more than one occasion. He’s the only one who really went to bat for her so that does deserve credit. The rest of the town are all just super unlikable.

Ultimately that’s also why the film just isn’t very good. It’s super dreary the whole time and without many likable characters, it makes the adventure a bit of a slog. It’s just nonstop intimidation and corrupt characters running around. There aren’t a lot of colorful backdrops out there in the wilderness and it’s not like this is a huge conspiracy plot either. It’s a fairly local styled mystery and you can connect the dots on what happened to her father early on. The film was really lacking a hook that would really make you want to keep watching. Without that, well this one will just end up fading from your memory. I’d only recommend checking it out if you really want to watch a tragic kind of film. There are some people who have no choice but to live in an area like that and so you see just how tough that is.

Overall, Winter’s Bone is not the best film. In fact I wouldn’t really even call it a good one. The whole circumstance for the main characters definitely sucks and they need to find a way to sell the house and get out of there. Things will only get worse before they get better after all. Of course it’s easier said than done to leave any area and that’s why the whole situation is tough. It may be a dramatic film but it’s not one that is all that fun so I’d definitely say to give it a skip and watch something else.

Overall 3/10

Seabiscuit

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It’s time for a big drama film. This one’s definitely long so they have time to cover a whole lot of ground. It’s a pretty interesting film about just how hard it can be to compete in horse races. The characters may not always be the greatest and the film has some pacing problems but on the whole they do a good job with this one. By the end of the adventure you will definitely have no doubts on the legacy of Seabiscuit. Definitely one of those horses who fought hard all the way through to the end.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Charles who ends up becoming super rich when he gets into the car business. This guy had serious talent as a seller and was also very innovative. He managed to succeed in completely changing the business landscape. When the great depression hit, lots of families were affected though and Red’s parents end up having to leave him alone. Red has a tough time growing up as he loses in horse racing and boxing. Well, one day, Charles gives him a chance as the guy has decided to get into the horse business. He gets a horse named Seabiscuit and is eager to see just how far he can get. The horse is deemed by everyone to not be ready for this level of competition but Charles has never listened to the experts before and doesn’t intend to do so now. He will follow his instincts to the end. He even brings in Red to ride the horse.

Naturally the guy is considered to be an underdog. Seabiscuit is just missing the competitive fire to win after being messed with for so long and Red has a massive chip on his shoulder that is always holding him back. Red just isn’t willing to back off and sacrifices races when he’s crossed. In a way both of these fighters will have to surpass the odds and Charles has dreams of them even defeating the legendary Mr. Riddle and becoming the best horse in all the world. Is such a thing even possible?

It’s different from other dreams after all. If you want to be the best Tennis player in the world, at least you are playing the matches yourself. In a setup like this you have to count on the jockey, the horse, and everyone else to do their parts. You can’t win this on your own talent alone. So Charles may be a great business man and he’s been around the block but for this reason I would say this is his most difficult challenge yet. I appreciate that he is always patient and tries to look on the bright side of things though. It’s not always the easiest thing to pull off. He did rebound a bit quickly on the romance side though.

Meanwhile the coach Tom may have been the best character here. He did a really good job of constantly researching the opponents and giving good advice. Additionally, he was kind to the animals and didn’t want to destroy them just because they couldn’t compete anymore. He definitely did really well throughout the film so I have no qualms with him. Naturally Seabiscuit was also a lot of fun. Definitely a tough horse but it makes sense when we see how all the races were rigged for Seabiscuit to lose back in the day. That had to be rough.

As for Red, he’s the weakest of the main characters. The guy messes up way too often. He had a rough upbringing after leaving his folks so I can get the first bit of things but he doesn’t really learn his lessons. When he gets depressed he wastes money and has pointless affairs instead of improving his skills. I think that’s the worst part about the guy. If he used even half of that drive to make himself a better jockey then I would have way more respect for him. The fact is that he is easily rattled. Not telling his team that he only had partial vision was also really selfish of him.

I would say that the gravity of the situation doesn’t really get to him until the end of the film and by then it ends up being a little too late for him. The guy is determined by the end so I will give him that at least. His friend who helps out in the climax definitely felt like the better jockey overall though. He felt way more professional as if he was always in control. With him I think Seabiscuit would have won even more races but of course Red is still good in his own right. He did well in creating bonds, I just think this guy was still even better.

Meanwhile Riddle made for a pretty good opponent. I do wonder if there were any scandals about him being responsible for rider injuries though because if not then that was definitely a bold play on the film’s part. I liked him quite a bit as the antagonist. The guy may have come across as cruel but he’s just being a good businessman. You don’t want to take on all challengers because you have way more to lose than to gain. I also imagine that travelling too often will weaken the horse as well. Now the guy also did seem nervous so it’s a mixed bag for him but overall this is the kind of opponent that you want to have.

I’m not well versed in horse racing at all but the final level did feel a bit cheesy with how weak the world champion horse looked. I would have expected a lot more pop out of him and for this to not have even been close. Instead, Seabiscuit was the one who had to be slowed down at one point after the huge lead. I’d be surprised if that’s how things really played out. I’d also figure that the faster horse would just be dominating but I suppose that part’s also different from human racing in that there is more to it than that. You have to ensure that the horse constantly runs at full power or you could lose a race that you might’ve won.

That said, I can never support animal racing like this irl. It seems way too tough on the horse and naturally I don’t support all the hitting in order to make them go faster. It all seems barbaric and in general I don’t like seeing animals in any activity. The finished product might look fun but the road there is often really intense. The best horse might be treated really well but the ones who lose could be in for a tough time.

Overall, While this film may not get me into horse racing, it does a good job of showing how technical the whole process is. There is a lot of strategy put into every different part of the sport so it has complexities like any other. You could probably trim a lot of the fluff out of the film and it would flow better so just know ahead of time that this is a pretty long one. If you like horse racing then you should have good fun here and if you don’t, then you’d probably want to skip it. That’s ultimately the make or break point. The film sure gets a lot more right than wrong though.

Two Mules for Sister Sara Review

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It’s time for one of those classic Western films. This one has its share of ups and downs. On one hand, the romance is pretty bad and the main character looks surprisingly weak at times but on the other hand it is an interesting story as it goes through. The ending is a bit sad for many of the characters but the lead isn’t exactly a full on hero this time around so he doesn’t exactly stop to worry about it. I don’t see this one hanging in there with the best in the genre but it’s good enough.

The movie starts with Hogan saving a nun from a bunch of attackers. She pleads for his help and Hogan is reluctant at first but she begins to prove herself useful in knowing about a nearby base. See Hogan needs to help blow up a French base due to a deal he made with the Mexicans and then after that he will be given a lot of gold. Hogan is ready to be rich and so he quickly prepares for this. What he doesn’t realize is that his side is way less prepared than they led him to believe.

Now a lot of the humor in the film is based around how Sara doesn’t always act like a Nun. She can be rather crass at times and just doesn’t have the right temperament. I’d say the audience knows something is up almost immediately but surprisingly Hogan doesn’t really put the pieces together. In hindsight it doesn’t make Sara look all that good though. If anything it makes her appear extra naive at times and you really wonder what kind of a plan she even had. If not for Hogan stopping by early on then she would have really been doomed right from the start of her journey. She also takes her duties rather far to the extent of wasting water and doing a lot of extra work when time is short.

The scenes are more questionable by the end of the film but you can make some arguments for them so I suppose that’s what counts. I never ended up becoming a fan of her character though. One crazy scene in particular happens in the climax while everyone is dying she is relaxing in the tub. Of course Hogan isn’t any better so the same thing applies to him. The guy makes plain that he’s not a hero on several occasions and is always coming close to a shootout. I give the Mexican commander props for standing up to him the whole time. It’s rare to see anyone with that level of confidence against the main hero.

In that debate Hogan was technically correct in that he sacrificed too much to be cut out at that point. He’s a very good shooter as always but perhaps isn’t quite as overly confident as you’re used to the actor being in other films. There is also a scene where Hogan is completely taken by surprise and shot by a nearby Indian arrow. That scene was probably the best in the film because of how sudden it was. Usually the arrows hit a side character or something but no, this time it was a full surprise blow that completely worked. Most impressive!

Of course it does lead to the weakest scene which is when the arrow has to be pulled out. The whole scene is dragged on way too much. It just goes and goes and you feel like we got the point early on. The film could have proceeded from there. So the movie has an issue with fanservice, bad romance, and the pulling out the arrow scene was overdone. At least in terms of animals only a snake gets chopped. Still rough but it could have been worse if it was a dog or a horse.

There isn’t a ton of action here until the end though. For the most part it’s all about the adventure. There are several close shaves but each time the fight ends up getting defused first. We had a scene where Hogan was setting up guns at different windows and I thought he was going to pull a bluff about a lot of soldiers being around or actually using them all. Instead the other army just keeps on going which felt like a bit of a waste to me. I thought that would have been real interesting to see how the fight would play out. I suppose its effective as a misdirect but it would have been a good opportunity to throw in some quality action.

The climax delivers on all the gun action but since both sides are bunches of nameless grunts, you’re not quite as invested. Hogan gets a quick shootout inside of the room but I would have liked it if he could have gotten more to do after that. In theory he’s the best asset that the army has so lets see him get a little more action to do. A few key shots to take care of villains, maybe show him saving some of the soldiers, etc. Even if he’s not going to be the ultimate hero, it helps to serve his own purposes which is enough justification in itself.

I will say that the twist for Sara is good in the sense that it takes away from the corruption message. Otherwise it felt like throughout the whole movie Hogan was trying to get to her and introducing a bunch of doubts in every direction. That would have definitely been annoying if the romance had just happened anyway. So this way you remove that part even if it doesn’t exactly help her as a character. So the film basically had to pick its poison among two dicey options.

Overall, Two Mules for Sara is a good film if you really love westerns but only okay otherwise. It feels like Sara heavily overplays her hand to the point where you feel like the film is really trying to steer you away from the plot twist even though there were several hints for it early on. The film is really built around the banter between the two main characters but since the romance isn’t particularly good, this doesn’t end up working as effectively as it should have. The climax delivers on the action by the end but it takes a while to get there. It is an interesting and engaging film so as long as you can look past the weak points, you should be fine.

Overall 5/10

Rambo: Last Blood Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

If you walked up to me and told me that Rambo: Last Blood was gonna be a terrible film…I would have just nodded. I don’t think it’s particularly surprising that the film didn’t go well. When a thriller series goes on for too long it gets tempted to throw in a bunch of tragedy and call it a day. A cheap revenge thriller will always cost a film a lot of points and this one just feels hollow by the end of its run. Too much damage had already been done.

The film starts off with Rambo trying to live an ordinary life. He lives fairly isolated on a mountain with a nice lady and her grand daughter. Unfortunately the girl really wants to meet the father who ditched her as a child. Doesn’t seem like the best thing to do and Rambo warns her against this. Her father wasn’t a good man and he lives in a very shady part of Mexico. Just going over there is courting death. The girl doesn’t care and heads over but things don’t go well and she goes. Now Rambo is on a big revenge tour to destroy all of the people responsible for what happened to her. Can even Rambo take on an entire army though?

Rambo gets a lot of hype in these films and he is tough but the guy definitely bought into his own hype here. He shows up at the villain’s base without any plan and gets absolutely dominated. He doesn’t even put up any kind of fight and it’s definitely one of the more embarrassing showings for a guy like this. At least later on he gets some prep time and pulls off some Home Alone tactics. It takes a long while to get to that point though. One of the big problems with the film is it feels like the whole first half is just to set the tone and show how messed up everything is.

The fights don’t really start until the climax when it’s Rambo against everybody. That part is certainly fun although the film definitely does go out of its way to be as graphic as possible. Each death tends to be like something out of a slasher type film as the characters are all ripped to pieces. The film makes sure to remind you how evil they all are first so you don’t feel bad for them but the film definitely could have handled itself in a less extreme manner. This whole film is going for the extreme angle and so of course it’s just not a particularly fun watch.

The granddaughter makes a ton of terrible mistakes and isn’t particularly smart but you still don’t want to see her going through so many trials. The movie is just way over the top mean spirited throughout so you don’t even get a breather. There is virtually no characters around so there isn’t even any chance for banter. I mean the film’s overall tone might have made that impossible anyway but with only Rambo around there just isn’t much for the film to do. He goes around murdering everyone and that’s it.

To fix the film, you’d need to completely rewrite the plot. Remove the first half and definitely tone down all of the violence throughout the movie. You definitely don’t need any of that. Maybe have at least one villain with actual goals and aspirations beyond just being super evil. I don’t need a sob story and I definitely don’t need a full subplot but maybe something about money or power. He’s basically just trying to spite Rambo by the midpoint which isn’t even a real goal. He’s just doing whatever he wants without even thinking it through. Not the most interesting kind of villains here. They just exist to die.

Also you do have to suspend a good amount of disbelief for Rambo taking everyone out. Yeah he is legendary and everything but he takes out dozens and dozens of fighters while running through the tunnels. everything had to go perfectly for him in order for this to work like them going through specific entrances and always triggering the traps on time. It’s a thriller so this kind of thing is definitely to be expected but it also means that the fight scenes aren’t as good as they could have been. Mainly there aren’t fights as it’s just the villains getting murdered by traps.

At no point do you feel like the film even has a real purpose here. It’s just going through the motions and then it’s not even doing that right with how long it takes for the fights to start. I’d say that the film was disappointing but for the most part it’s not like I went into it with any high hopes anyway. Just about everyone agrees that the film is pretty weak so this wasn’t a surprise. The film just ended up living up to its own hype and in this case that was a bad thing.

I think it’s fair to say that it is time for the Rambo series to end. There’s just not much more to do with it by this point. He’s already lost so many people and he’s also really old by this point. You can only have so many Rambo hype moments. After all, that’s why most of this film has him with homefield advantage picking the villains off. in a straight fight there would just be too many of them.

Overall, Rambo: Last Blood is definitely not my kind of film. If you want a super edgy, grim dark title then check this one out but otherwise you should stay far away. It’s one thing to make a darker film where things don’t always go well but this one goes too extremely in the other direction. Nothing goes well and the heroes just keep on getting farther and farther away. You have a reporter around who lost someone to the gangs but if you take her out of the movie then virtually nothing changes. I still find it hard to understand why you would even want to try and find a parent who ditched you, seems like that will end poorly 99 times out of 100. Meanwhile the cops are corrupt and while Rambo is saving people related to this immediate danger, it seems like this is a huge syndicate. It just paints a very bleak picture of life for everyone involved. At least I can appreciate that Rambo does not have a no kill rule since that would have made the situation even more difficult.

Overall 1/10

Mass Review

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All right it’s time for a film that is the definition of being dialogue based. There is a whole lot of talking here and the characters don’t really get to leave the room once they’re inside. It’s an interesting concept but the execution is done in a way that prevents the film from being all that interesting. Each of the characters has to try and navigate their way through the conversation carefully so the pacing gets shot immediately and it all goes downhill from there. Now it’s hard to say if the positions themselves are a spoiler or not but since that is the focus early on, I’m going to lean on not. Throwing the warning out early though because if you do feel that’s a spoiler, then you’ll need to skip the whole review until you watch it.

The movie starts with a room being set up in a church. They are expecting 4 guests and the church lady is extremely stressed the whole time. We get a lot of awkward dialogue the whole time but finally the 4 people arrive. They are two couples and they are here to talk about a recent school shooting. Their conversation is going to get pretty intense because one couple are the parents of one of the kids who got shot, while the other couple are the parents of the school shooter who was then shot by the authorities. Can they come to an understanding?

Well naturally just from the premise you can see how this isn’t exactly a popcorn action flick. It’s all very serious and dreary the whole time. I think the idea of a debate of sorts would be pretty interesting but this isn’t really a debate. The parents of the first boy just really want to hear some regret from the other parents and try to convince them that their son was a monster. Meanwhile the other couple is doing their best to be pleasant but don’t want to back down on their position that he was still their son and otherwise was a good person.

As a result, it’s not like there is much of an end point that they can have here. The second couple has been taking heat from everybody around the world and may have even had similar conversations with other parents. Meanwhile the first couple can talk a lot but it won’t bring their son back so if anything it means that the conversation may just stir up old wounds even more. They all hope that this conversation will help provide some closure but will it do that? In my mind that seems like a pretty impossible task. I could see having conversations with other people but reaching that far across the aisle is probably going to be a bad idea 99% of the time.

Again I do find conversations like this interesting but typically the features I watch online are done in a much more aggressive ways. Think of something along the lines of Piers Morgan where the panelists are always yelling over each other and calling each other names or any Youtube debate with folks like Destiny, Asmongold, Haasan, The Crucible, Peterson, etc. They tend to be one dimension removed from the situation so they can go on TV and start yelling real hard as they press on the positions. You get the slightest fact or detail wrong and they will absolutely pounce on you right away.

In some ways that kind of conversation will tend to yield more results since you can try exposing the other side. Of course in this movie nobody is really in it to expose the other. Perhaps a little at first but again it’s more for closure. It’s just that it takes absolutely forever to get to any of the points. Anytime they start to get into some interesting topics like gun control, psychiatry, etc. they are cut off by one of the other characters to try and make more emotional arguments instead of looking at things logically.

By far I would say the couple who raised the shooter were the best characters here. They both did their best to be sympathetic and proper right from the jump. They said all the right things while also refusing to back down from their positions or relent on any point that would make their son seem like a monster. They kept strong here and just did a solid job. They were also able to look at the situation a whole lot more analytically and didn’t have as many emotional bursts as the first couple. Considering that they went through a whole lot as well, that was impressive. Whether or not they suffered more than the second couple will be debatable but ranking different traumas is ultimately pointless. Everybody suffered in this film which is the point that the film is trying to establish here.

Of course the first couple has a lot of reason to be upset but they were the ones mainly breaking the agreed upon rules like going into interrogation mode and launching into personal attacks. They were consistently more aggressive and having to walk around the room. I give the first couple a lot of credit for agreeing to meet up as well since this easily could have been a trap or some kind of surprise attack. Once they were all alone in that room, any number of bad things could have happened before any kind of backup would arrive. So the first couple also showed a lot of bravery.

The scenes with the church folks from the beginning and ending may have been a little too dragged out but I appreciated the attempt at trying to have a little levity in here. I wouldn’t have minded that as a subplot of them running around and maybe bumping into the room once or twice. It would have been a good chance to have a few cliffhangers too with one side landing a solid zinger as we cut away and then return.

At its core, I suppose the main issue here is that the conversation gets fairly boring pretty fast. You basically know all of the stances that the characters will take before they make them. This is of course because the film is trying to go for a lot of realism. You could picture this being a real conversation between two families with all of the crying and pausing that was implemented in the film. There are probably talks like this that go on every day but in a film you need to do some kind of enhancing to make it interesting. The film could have probably had its runtime cut in half and still preserved all of the core ideas that were brought in.

Overall, Mass may be realistic but it’s not particularly entertaining. I really think they should have had the lawyers from both ides involved. That way you have them being aggressive the whole time while the family begins to see the others’ side of view. The lawyers get kicked out in the climax and then we get the quick wholesome ending. That would definitely work well for making things a little intense. All in all, if this is a topic that you find interesting then you may enjoy the film but otherwise I do think you can find better movies that touch on the themes of forgiveness and moving past trauma like Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children.

Overall 2/10

The Third Murder Review

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It’s time for a police thriller, this time with a bit of a jaded edge from the defense attorney. He doesn’t really care about justice and just does whatever he can in order to get the best deal for his clients. This way he can just stay detached from everything but will he be able to in this case? It’s an interesting film but one that doesn’t have any real likable characters for the most part. I was also really hoping we could get more scenes within the courtroom but for the most part they tend to all be off screen.

The movie starts off with a guy getting murdered and then lit on fire. We cut to the present where the assailant was found to be a guy named Misumi who ended up agreeing to the charges. He is not slated to be sent for death and so that’s when Shigemori is called in as his defense. Shigemori needs to fight the technicality of the crime here. If he can change it from a murder robbery to something slightly lower, then he can get the guy off with life in prison instead. The problem is that Misumi seems to keep on giving different answers to every question as if he himself isn’t sure of what happened and is also giving incriminating statements. Does this guy want to be found guilty?

For a while there that’s sort of what I figured was happening. Misumi desperately wanted the death penalty and was trying to sabotage himself. It turns out that this wasn’t the case which makes him look that much worse to be honest. He comes off as really naive and gullible the whole time. The guy is in a bad position and just tries to do his best but he really could have planned things out almost any other way and had a better outcome. So every time the characters have a conversation with him you just cringe. Even right to the end the guy was being super cryptic.

As with any criminal case, you do have to try and measure all of the evidence. One girl even tells Shigemori how nobody tells the truth around here and that seems about right. Everybody is lying to their own ends. Even Shigemori basically says he will do whatever it takes to win even if he doesn’t believe what he is saying. It’s a pretty rough way for a defense attorney to speak. I imagine it’s probably the easiest way for him to live with himself since it is a tough job. Being a defense attorney means you sometimes have to defend truly terrible people that you know are guilty. It’s definitely not a job that I could ever take.

He has a younger assistant who still believes in justice but we’ll see how long that lasts. The prosecutor is a lot more likable since she is trying to make the world a better place and is getting stopped by Shigemori the whole time. Now I know the Japanese criminal system can make a person jaded with how good they are at forcing confessions. Regardless of if the confession is true or not, they get it and then that ends the threat. In any society you always have to choose between security and freedom. Japan has chosen security and so there are pros and cons to that. A pro is that you often don’t see a lot of crime, most of the ones that make the headlines are from tourists which makes a lot of sense.

It means if you commit a crime then you will be in for a very bad time. It also means you need to be really careful where you are at because if you are falsely accused then you are also in for a bad time. For what it’s worth, I would say the Japanese system has more pros than cons, I would consider it to probably be the best system around the world. Other systems that use a similar security styled focus like China tend to have more corruption issues and freedom styled justice systems always tend to become a bit of a joke by the end.

All of these are reasons why Shigemori may not believe in the cause anymore. His father used to be a more lenient man but has also turned hard after his light sentences were taken for granted. One of them even involves the current suspect. Now as the film goes on we get more and more actual motives for Misumi beyond the ones that were made up. One in particular involves the girl Sakie and while most of the plotlines are left a bit up for interpretation, I don’t believe there is ever any scene that gives us a reason to doubt what happened to her. It is the cleanest explanation for the murder later on and helps Misumi look more reasonable.

I still maintain that Misumi could have handled things a whole lot better though and his whole speech about control was really just bonkers. The fact is that some people do have control over other people’s lives depending on the context and situation. It may be nice to say that nobody should have control but that’s like me saying it would be nice if there was no crime. There’s just not much point in such a statement because that’s just how it is.

Also back to Shigemori, part of why he’s not likable is aside from the fact that he doesn’t care about justice, he just seems to be completely unreasonable the whole time. For example he brings a letter to the widow of the man who was killed and explains it’s from the murderer who feels bad about the whole thing. The fact that he actually half expected her to take the letter is crazy. That’s just such an insult, I was glad she ripped it. Why would you possibly forgive the murderer so easily or believe that he has any sympathy about the incident? If anything I’d be more likely to attend the hearings after that and make it clear that I want him gone. Shigemori acting like that was rude of her was totally crazy.

Ah well, again I also think the film would have been a whole lot better if we got to be in the courtroom a bit more. Of course the judge also seemed to be a bit corrupt in the sense that he was most worried about his image. I don’t blame the judge for basically insulting the whole defense team at the end though because the way they handled the situation would absolutely look crazy to everyone on the outside. The investigating period as the characters travel around is interesting enough but usually the court room is the payoff for all of that. It felt like we got cheated out of the most interesting bits and could only see a small preview of it.

Overall, The Third Murder is an interesting film. It runs a tad too long at times and I would have either made the characters a bit more optimistic or given the assistant more of a role. It would just be nice to have someone in the film who was super invested in what was actually happening. To a degree that is part of Shigemori’s character arc but it takes him a long while to get there. Ultimately the film has a lot to say about the justice system and characters spouting off their own idea of ethics but for the most part the characters come off as crazy. Like the father when he said that at birth some people are capable of murder and others aren’t. It’s such a crazy perspective I had to wonder if he meant something else at first. Either way there is a lot going on here.

Overall 6/10

Puppet Master Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those disgraceful movies. This one never even got to start on a high note and so you knew immediately that it wouldn’t be any good. Puppets can make for interesting villains at times but this one is definitely just going for shock value the whole time with no real substance at play. Throw in a bunch of annoying characters and you have an absolute recipe for disaster.

The film starts off with the Puppet Master bumping himself off instead of fighting off the evil villains. We then cut to the present where a group of psychic power users are summoned by their old “friend” Neil. These people are the best at what they do. Whether it is seeing the future, seeing the past, or being able to use wards, they are ready for anything. You might call them something like the Psychic Avengers! When they all walk into a room you will be shocked at what little aura any of them possesses. It’s almost as if they drain it from the room. Here’s the strange thing though, Neil is dead and has clearly been that way for a long while. How come none of these psychics sensed that? How did Neil summon them while dead? Well surely it wouldn’t hurt to stay in his mansion for one night?…….can they survive the puppets?

I mean maybe you could feel a little bad for them if they were upstanding citizens but they all look terrible from the jump. Frank and Carissa are way too self absorbed as they mess around when this should be serious business, Dana seems rather desperate and Alex completely wastes his future ability by not actually doing anything about it. It’s clear that they are all out of their depths and completely unprepared for what is about to happen. These psychics are all about to get exposed.

Neil’s wife Megan is rather suspicious the whole time. She is easy to offend but also seems to know more than she is letting on with Neil. The film shrouds her in mystery the whole time but she still never manages to be all that interesting. She gets to spend a decent amount of time with Alex but of course she was just married so you hope there is no romance brewing. Alex just seems oblivious to all the danger throughout the movie though. Even in the dream where we see the future, he just mindlessly walks into a trap. Yes, it was a dream but it is treated as something he would have done if that was the situation. Cmon now.

Frank and Carissa are some of the worst because they know they are in imminent danger and decide now is the time for bondage play. Really? Reallllly? That’s one of the most contrived kills I’ve seen in a long time, especially as Carissa has several minutes to free Frank but panics instead. The whole scene is just soooo bad and drawn out. They were going for max edge on both of the kills here and it was all so overdone.

Then for Dana, she seemed like the weakest anyway. Aside from her only noticeable trait being that she was crazy, she just didn’t handle this very well. I’ll get into this more later on but the puppets are really weak. At least for Frank and Carissa you can make a few excuses even if they are weak ones. Well, Frank has a legit excuse, the rest are dicey. For Dana she is just flat out defeated which is crazy.

These puppets are nothing like Chucky or Talking Tina. They don’t seem to have infinite regen or teleportation. We see characters tossing them around and plucking them apart like actual toys. They look so weak (Thanks in part to the low budget) that they should have lost immediately. For example one of the puppets is like the Thing. He does the “It’s Clobbering time!” barrage of fists. His fists don’t hurt too much as different characters eat a few punches and then toss him away. The main problem as always is they don’t finish the job. Rip the puppets arms off, keep the head detached, etc. Instead they just wait as the puppet very slowly puts himself back together.

Yeah the small hits will add up eventually so just take them out. Near the end we get an extended fight scene where somebody takes on multiple puppets at once and you just can’t help but feel like he could have done a lot better. The movie never actually makes the puppets look all that scary. I mean they were scared of humans with guns in the opening scene after all. They are fighters but not particularly good ones.

I’d also say that the ending is rather rushed with the puppets doing a 180 for no reason. You’re not sure why the main villain is suddenly afraid of them or why Alex suddenly wants to help the villain. Did he think the death would be too gruesome? I just don’t see why, if Alex frees the guy then Alex will quickly be murdered. It again makes Alex look dumb as rocks here. So not only is he making all of the wrong decisions over and over again but now he’s actively going out of his way to help the villain?

The writing throughout the film is terrible but that’s par for the course. The villains aren’t very intimidating at all and the characters are really bad. The violence is extremely over the top and so the movie doesn’t really have much of anything going for it. It’s not very long at least which I can say is a good thing. That may be the only real good thing I can say about it. There was a lot of potential here but the film used none of it.

There is one good thing I can say about the film and that is that I liked the designs of some of the puppets. The one with the knife was rather scary and I also liked the one with the big fists. The sound effect every time he would punch someone was intense. Maybe a bit funnier than scary but it worked well. The puppets could hold their own in a survival setting. The movie just didn’t execute on anything around them.

Overall, The idea of a bunch of psychic people getting together to solve a mystery of their dead enemy is really interesting. You could have done a lot with that but instead they don’t actually get to interact a ton before they split up and start getting picked off. None of them have any survival instincts with how they drink a lot and get tied up. Different members felt danger and evil when they walked into the mansion, did they just forget that? They underestimated the dummies to a painful degree and I’d argue the only smart thing to do would have been to leave the house immediately. If not, at least stay together and it would be hard to be defeated. Their overconfidence got to them and I still find it hard to believe that the franchise got so many films. Maybe the sequels will be better but this was a really rough start for the franchise. It was just L after L and you want to stay very far away from this one.

Overall 2/10