Category Archives: Live Action Movies

M3gan 2.0 Review

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This movie is pretty interesting because it has a downright excellent premise but executes it in one of the weakest ways I could have imagined. The script tends to need a lot of work, the fight is basically just teased for 90% of the movie, and the final climax/ending aren’t as good as they should have been. So in that sense the movie left a lot of meat on the table, but on the other hand…I still had a good time with it. I would say it is still a good movie even if it’s not amazing.

The movie starts off by introducing us to a new robot named Amelia. She is essentially a weaponized version of M3gan who can be sent into active war zones or other places that could be dangerous. At first this looks promising but then she goes rogue and appears to want to end humanity. This forces the government to locate M3gan’s creator, Gemma. M3gan shows up beforehand to warn her that this will happen but the government shows up with threats anyway. Gemma knows she will have to stop this new threat but doesn’t want to rebuild M3gan. Will she be able to stop the new android or will she be forced to turn to her old enemy?

Naturally I like a good hero/villain teamup. It tends to make for an exciting plot and that’s the benefit of being a sequel. Long time horror fans may be dismayed to learn that the horror is mostly gone though. The intro scenes with Amelia temporarily bring back the horror with a few jump scares and vicious murders but after that this becomes a full on action movie. Fortunately I love action movies so that worked for me. This has that classic summer blockbuster feel to it.

Lets get into the negatives right away though. You are looking forward to M3gan fighting Amelia. That is pretty much the core point of this film’s plot. Despite that, they don’t really fight until the very end of the film. The first time they meet, M3gan is in the wrong body. After that, Amelia is in the wrong body and they are interrupted before they can fight. Finally we get a battle near the end but M3gan was already super weakened so it still wasn’t an even fight. They made a massive mistake here if you ask me.

We should have gotten a big fight in act 1, then the rematch down the line. It felt like that was the obvious play right? I would also say another weakness is that the writing is generally pretty weak. Lots of lines that will just make you wince or even worse, cringe. They try to write M3gan as being very direct and without shame so she tends to get more of these lines. It’s a tough balance because she also has the best lines but some of them are just being crude for no real reason. I’m hoping they can strike a better balance in the next film.

Finally one more negative would probably be the long singing sequence we get from M3gan. It’s clear this was meant as a funny joke but it’s another example of the film’s poor execution since it drags on for too long. I think it would have been funny if it was just at half the length that it was. Unfortunately that didn’t happen.

On the character side, Gemma is okay I suppose. She seems a bit passive the whole time and it feels like she isn’t properly recognizing the incoming threat here. Amelia is certainly dangerous and a bunch of government fighters even broke into her house. Deciding not to rebuild M3gan is one thing, but she should be telling Cady what is going on and getting a plan together with all of them. That would at least allow them to prep. Otherwise it feels like she is setting them up for a loss here.

At least she does get some action later on. Those fight scenes were fun and hopefully if we were to get more films, she would remain as one of the fighters. We could get a nice tag team with her and M3gan eventually. If you like Gemma’s sidekicks though, they don’t do a whole lot here. A few scenes sprinkled in but yeah I wouldn’t expect much out of them. This is not the humans’ show. In general most of the humans just look bad. We get the rich entrepreneur character who is easily seduced by Amelia.

In general the romance in the film is pretty weak. The classic villain getting seduced trick never ends up being convincing. Then we have Gemma going out with Christian but apparently, he’s not even really her type? M3gan gets some incriminating details on her searches and yeah that’s rough. Sounds an awful lot like settling and that’s a recipe for disaster. It’s not a big part of the film so I’m hardly going to dwell on it, but yeah that was a rough look for the heroine.

As for M3gan, she definitely dominates throughout her screentime. She is the most prepared out of all the characters by fault and also has way more charisma than the others. That really goes a long way here. Additionally, she can fight so at least the heroes have someone who is ready. I also thought Amelia made for a good villain. We didn’t need any grand speeches or motivations besides ending humanity. Amelia just does what she wants and that works well for an evil A.I.

The special effects are pretty good and the soundtrack was generally solid. The movie has good pacing and really flies by. I also enjoyed the tone as this movie is really just trying to give you a fun time throughout. I can always respect that. That’s why I’d ultimately say this was a good title. It just feels like a wasted opportunity since it could have easily been great.

Overall, M3gan 2.0 is what happens when you land an amazing premise but forget that you still have to execute it with care. That said, I still recommend it. You don’t get horror films that turn action like this too often. I imagine it feels like Terminator 2’s initial premise when that film was coming out. It’s a lot of fun and I would definitely check out a third film. As a franchise M3gan may not have lasted very long but I definitely will remember the character so in a way you could say that she did become a true horror icon.

Overall 6/10

Brain Dead Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Okay this is a weird film right off the bat. There are lot of dream sequences here and the whole time you have to wonder what is real and what isn’t. I definitely haven’t seen many films like this so it will forever be a memorable experience. Of course that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’ll be a good one. Some of the dreams lean a little too hard into the lead’s worries about what his wife is doing when he’s not around and I wanted to see more of him really going crazy. It’s worth the watch as you try to figure out what is going on but I dare say there isn’t a ton of replay value here.

The movie begins with introducing us to Rex who is a top neurosurgeon. He’s one of the best in the business but unfortunately it isn’t a very profitable one and money has been tight. It’s at this point that he is approached by Jim, an old “pal” of sorts. This guy has been doing really well for himself and he has an offer. See, there’s this guy named John who came up with something absolutely brilliant but then went crazy and ran off. They found him but John has total amnesia of what he even invented. So the company wants Rex to go into his mind and fix it. The operation has a large chance of just leaving John braindead though which Rex feel is completely unethical.

Of course, money does talk though and so Rex decides to go through with this after facing more pressure and a homeless guy showing up to wreck one of the last available brains. The operation seems to work…except now Rex’s life is being turned upside down. One day he wakes up as John, the next scene he’s in a plane that is about to crash, etc. It’s like Rex is trapped in a series of unending nightmares with absolutely no way to escape. He needs to find some way to grab onto reality….but can he do it?

How much you enjoy the film will really come down to how much you enjoy the dreams. After a point it becomes clear that most of this isn’t actually happening and so I could picture some people totally checking out. That’s definitely valid, although for me I kind of enjoyed it because I just liked how crazy it got. The situations would be absolutely wild and I also was glad that Rex didn’t let them get to him for quite a while.

He kept on insisting that he was Rex no matter what anyone else was saying. Even with the evidence against him, he wasn’t going to declare defeat. That is the right way to handle such a crazy circumstance. You have to fight for yourself even when nobody else will. No matter how many times the doctor kept trying to say that Rex was just a patient, Rex wouldn’t buy it. I thought that was pretty commendable.

Of course like I said in the intro, he does let himself get a bit too worried about Jim the whole time. Now, sine he is trapped in these dreams I guess to a certain extent he has it extra tough since he doesn’t really know what is real and what is fake but it keeps turning out that his wife is going with Jim or just being super oblivious and not realizing that he is pulling the moves on her. In either case, Rex needed to handle things better instead of getting super drunk and ruining the meeting with a big investor. Those were times when Rex didn’t do so good.

Othe times he tends to be very proactive like when he was in the ocean and had to swim fast or when the crazy guy hid in his closet and Rex had to act normal for the nurse. I should mention that while the film isn’t overly violent, there are a few jump scares/shock value moments. You will see the brain for example and some people have pretty serious injuries. So definitely keep that in mind, this film is certainly not holding back in that respect.

Corporate worked well as the big villains here. I liked how they were in total control the whole time and were constantly waiting for Rex to make a mistake. They can’t lose either way. Either John goes braindead in which case the secret is taken to the grave, or they get his memory back and coerce it out of him. Corporate is always looking at the big picture here and they are certainly ruthless. In the dreamworld it even seems like they might disappear Jim if he fails them. So yeah the stakes are definitely high there. The film also established pretty well that this is a dangerous area too like with the random homeless guy and speeding cars everywhere. Adds a bit to the chaos and that’s when the film is at its best. Just hitting you with endless chaotic moments with no time to breath. The film should really never slow down to try and talk to you, just keep going full speed ahead.

I would have liked the wife to have had more of a role there. Have her poking around and finding clues about what corporate is doing or something like that. with how the film is set up that may have been a little difficult though. Maybe she could be in the dreams aside from the illusion version of her? Would have been a nice way to have given Rex a bit more of a fighting chance at least although he would be in for a tough time either way.

Overall, Brain Dead is a very interesting film. I give it kudos for the unique approach and it is the kind of film that will keep you guessing. At the same time, I do think they really could have done a bit more with it. Either double down on the dreams and make them even more chaotic without a definitive ending to tell you what actually happened or maybe throw in an objective. Like having Rex find out that he has to survive for 3 hours in the dream to return or something. It would essentially be a different movie though. The ending isn’t the most satisfying so that could have made a difference but if you’re looking for a really weird film to check out, this is definitely right up your alley.

Overall 5/10

It! Review

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It’s not time for that clown horror film, instead it’s time to look at a lesser known one involving a golem. It was a little better than I was expecting to be honest. The characters aren’t the best but I would say that in a way the film had a subtle sense of humor about it. It may have been unintentional but it still worked and the film ends up being one that you won’t be forgetting about anytime soon.

The movie introduces us to a disturbed man named Arthur. There’s always been something really off about him and the film doesn’t need to go into detail on this to assure you that he is someone to stay away from. He looks forward to getting a big promotion as the curator eventually but the process is taking a while. One day there is a huge fire where everything in a nearby storage area burns down except for a single golem. Arthur’s boss asks him for something to read it better with but Arthur is slow to move and the golem ends up crushing the guy.

Now Arthur can get his promotion right? Well, instead the board goes with someone else which is definitely upsetting. Arthur decides to actively use the golem as a weapon of destruction in order to clear out the competitors as well as impress his crush Ellen. Ellen seems to feel bad for Arthur and humors him to an extent but she actually likes the fancy guy from New York named Jim. Jim will definitely need to watch out now, but what can he do against a golem?

There are some parts of the film that don’t fully seem to make sense but I suppose you can fill in the blanks. For example the Golem initially seems to do whatever it wants like when it murders the curator by crushing him but then after Arthur actually activates it, the golem begins to work for him. So in the initial scenes, was the Golem working on past programming or something? Additionally, Arthur picked up the trick to controlling it rather quickly when you’d expect that he would have just been another victim.

The film tries to show that perhaps insulting the golem is what makes it made but it’s not like the original curator did that. So it’s going to be a little hard to really understand the golem’s motives. I suppose they aren’t that important. It has a fairly decent design and is definitely very powerful as shown in the bridge incident. He makes for a decent villain but of course is very slow so any fighter who is paying attention should be able to dodge the attacks.

Then we have Arthur who really looks bad here. Aside from being crazy and all, he is desperately going after a lady who is clearly not interested in him. She makes it rather obvious and while I think she could have been sterner, he’s got to take a hint. Arthur is just so desperate and controlling a golem could have easily made him rich and successful if he used it the right away. Then perhaps she would have been more interested in him.

No, instead he just thinks destroying a bridge will impress her for some reason. Ellen is rather naive though like when she gets a call from Arthur late at night saying how he desperately needs to see her. Ellen seriously considers going even if Jim was encouraging this before the twist that he would go in her place. That should have been a notion that would be impossible to her. It’s an extremely bad idea to meet anyone alone at night, particularly someone who has a big one sided crush on you.

Jim is a fun character though, albeit he could be a little overconfident at times. Meeting up with Arthur when he started to have suspicions of wrongdoing was very risky. In fact, there were several times where Arthur came close to destroying Jim. The whole thing could have gone sideways for him in an instant. I do like confidence though and that does help keep Jim higher than he would be otherwise.

There is definitely a body count in this film although the kills aren’t as violet as in other horror titles. There is a level of violence to be sure but you can tell the film is more interested in the overall premise than being a splattershow. So I appreciated the restraint there. As a result the film can actually be a good bit of fun at times. While crazy, it is fun to see Arthur dropping veiled threats and outmaneuvering everybody even when he’s rather sloppy.

The whole hiding the key in the bookshelf idea for example was so risky since someone could have checked there before and realized that the key had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. He also takes super unnecessary risks in stealing artifacts from the museum before returning them. This guy is definitely not a mastermind and without the golem he would have been taken down a lot sooner. The climax is also a whole lot more explosive than I would have guessed.

Overall, It! was a little better than I expected. I do think part of the charm is in a cheesy/camp kind of way though. The film takes itself moderately serious but as long as you can have fun with it then you’ll be okay. If you are looking for a really scary film then this will not be the one for you though. Also if you’re hoping for a real romance, the movie doesn’t have much time for that either. No, it’s more about the reverse romance of figuring out if the golem is actually alive and who is controlling it. As the viewer you have all the answers and are waiting for the others to figure it out. The execution was key and ultimately it was good enough here. I have a feeling that the clown movies would not be able to compete.

Overall 6/10

The Ghost of Yotsuya Review

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It’s time to look at a well known foreign horror film and unfortunately this one was pretty bad. I was expecting some decent entertainment and all but in the end it takes way too long for the ghost to show up. It turns out to be more of a messed up drama for most of the film and the villains stay really annoying throughout. It’s always one of the risks you run when you have a film built around a bunch of villains. You’re waiting for justice but in a film like this it will be a long time coming.

The movie starts with a guy named Iemon wanting to marry Oiwa. He had a bit of a deal with her father but the guy changed his mind and it’s easy to see why. Iemon doesn’t seem like the most put together fellow around. He has let himself go and is patrolling the streets like a homeless person. Well, ultimately he decides to murder her father and his guards. Then he makes his move on Oiwa who essentially decides to get with him as long as he avenges her father’s death. Iemon wants to keep the charade up forever but one guy, Naosuke happens to have witnessed the murder and begins his blackmail. He basically wants Oiwa’s sister as his compensation and keeps on blackmailing Iemon. The two of them continue to sink deeper into this conspiracy.

Now this is really just a problem with the old Japan type films but the honor system goes way too far the whole time. The fact that both girls are willing to marry guys they don’t love just for the vengeance angle is too much. Oiwa at least doesn’t mind Iemon all that much but the sister didn’t like Naosuke at all and still goes through with this. All of their scenes are absolutely brutal. You’re just waiting for the ghost to show up already.

Unfortunately, the ghost angle isn’t a factor until the film is nearly over. So first you have to see Iemon humiliating Oiwa over and over again as he proves to be a terrible husband and even prepares to marry another girl on the side. His love for Oiwa wasn’t even true which just makes Iemon even worse of a character. Obviously he was a villain/murderer from the start but at least if he really loved Oiwa there would be some sense of humanity left. Instead, he is just a shallow guy who gets bored quickly and then continues to inflate his body count.

He can’t stop himself from murdering more and more people and that does not help his final goals. It just gets him deeper into trouble. Not that you feel bad for him but he takes up an enormous amount of screentime. What really hurts the film is that there are no likable characters. The two girls look naive and too trusting for most of this. They are also far too passive as they just wait for the guys to take revenge for them while they stay home. It’s pretty clear that the guys are getting nowhere fast.

As for the ghost, well she is fun to have around once she finally does make a move but even then it takes her a long time to actually take down Iemon. Also, right before becoming a ghost she did end up finishing off a baby so it’s not like they were shaping her up to be a hero either. The whole film is extremely drawn out even though it technically isn’t even a very long film. Mix that in with all of the characters being pretty bad and this was a recipe for disaster.

I’m not a fan of the old time aesthetic and this certainly wouldn’t change my mind on that. You will be left shaking your head the whole time and I wouldn’t even be able to blame you. The whole honor system just doesn’t work and I want the characters to be louder and more pro active. A guy like Iemon should never have gotten as far as he did. Even at the very end of the film he puts up way more of a fight than he should have. Is this guy secretly an absolute swords master or something?

He got too much hype and too much screentime. I’m rarely going to be able to really tolerate a film centered around a super unlikable villain without either seriously amazing supporting characters or a great hero to root for that takes him out in the end. A film like this one is just too depressing and dreary the whole time. It doesn’t leave you with any hope for the characters and is just not a fun one to watch. At the end of the day it forgets about the film’s main objective which is to be a fun and enjoyable film. There is nothing like that here.

Overall, A film like Ghost of Yotsuya was really doomed to fail from the start. The core plot is already not that engaging and you would need either a good amount of humor or something light hearted to balance it out. This film is taking itself deadly serious and so that means it is necessarily going to be a rather tough watch. You need to either have a really happy ending at the ready to balance the tough journey or for the villain to start getting his just desserts at a much earlier time. If you aren’t able to do either of those things, then the film is always going to be in a rather rough spot. There isn’t really any way around that. If you want to watch an authentic horror title, check out Godzilla instead.

Overall 0/10

Blue Beetle Review

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It’s time for the big origin story for the Blue Beetle. This guy got a pretty big push in the 2000s and I dare say it worked since he has remained as a well above average character in terms of popularity. The movie works pretty well as an origin. You’d probably like for some of the characters to show a bit of urgency when things are getting real but the action scenes are on point and the special effects are really good.

The movie starts by introducing us to Jaime who just finished school and now he’s ready to get a job. Unfortunately it won’t be so easy and he finds out that his family has been through a whole lot of hardships while he was gone. He has always wanted to support them but it’s not so easy to just get rich. Well, his sister lands him a job but then gets him fired from it on basically the same day. I suppose you could say that cancels out but Jaime steps in to break up an argument between the CEO Victoria and her nice Jenny. This causes Jenny to feel bad for Jaime and offer him a job.

What Jaime doesn’t know is that Kord Industries is messing around with alien technology. Jenny wants to stop this and so she gives it to Jaime, but it ends up bonding with him as a kind of symbiote relationship. Now there is no escape for Jaime as he becomes the Blue Beetle. The alien wants to murder people and keep Jaime safe while Jaime just wants to be an ordinary dude. That will be difficult though as the whole company is after him, led by Carapax who also has alien powers thanks to the exosuit. Can Jaime defend himself?

For starters the film has pretty much everything you’d like to see in a movie. It’s got a quick pace, good action scenes, fun characters, and some good humor. I pretty much knew it would be a pretty good film early on. That said, it’s also fair to say that the film plays it pretty safe and so it wasn’t going to be a great film from early on as well. It’s going with the basics as opposed to trying to really wow you. Nothing wrong with that, but in a way I feel like that’s also what hurt it at the box office. It wasn’t really seen as a “must watch”.

Jaime is a decent main character. He cares about his family and likes being a hero. He’s certainly not going to be going around murdering anyone or anything like that. So he is someone that you can count on. That being said, he can also be a little slow on the ball. He starts crashing out when he finds out that it will be difficult to remove the scarab but it’s a cool alien armor that gives him powers. Why would you want to ditch it? Far as I’m concerned that is a net positive.

Then when the company attacks his family, I think he should have been a little outraged. Instead he takes it all very casually and as a result his family is further injured and it all feels very preventable. I get wanting to be careful not to really hurt the humans too badly of course but when they are after the family then you should really be gearing up to fight back right? That just feels logical to me at the very least.

So all in all he’s good, but not a great character. He is fun enough to keep the film going though and does beat most of the other family members. They can generally be a little bit too annoying to him. They mean well like with Milagro getting him the job but of course getting him fired was really rough because of how unnecessary the whole thing was. I did like Rudy though. He’s the big conspiracy nut of the family who goes around acting crazy and embarrassing at all times.

Unlike the others it really works because that’s a big part of his character. He will never accept the obvious and will do whatever he can to resist the government. It is his complete focus in life and what keeps him going. So his jokes always tended to land. The weakest family member would definitely be the grandma though. The film tries way too hard with her and all of her big moments tend to fall flat.

As far as Jenny goes, the romance feels a bit forced here. I don’t see how it all worked out with her and Jaime considering they barely knew each other. Also there was a ton of plot armor with Jaime going out for a drive and bumping into her so quickly while she was being chased by all the gunmen. Like sure that’s probably not going to be a very likely event in most cases. I’ll give her credit for standing up to corporate though and as a character she was pretty solid. She had a lot of willpower to stand up to all that danger.

Then there is the company’s muscle, Carapax. He makes for a pretty decent villain but I would say he is a better villain than character. My main problem with this guy is they wait real long to try and make him sympathetic and honestly it doesn’t work. He spends most of the film trying to murder a kid. I’m not exactly going to be feeling too bad for him. His origin story is rough as they squeezed in multiple sob stories into one event but he still did end up being a bad guy in the present. His final scene was also really weak and didn’t feel necessary.

There’s not a whole lot to say about Victoria. She’s your average CEO type main villain. Yes, Lex Luthor has always been an example of one who works but he’s often the exception. Most of these villains just come across as really generic and that’s basically what happened here. She’s not bad but you won’t remember her for very long. Meanwhile the action scenes are pretty fun. We never really get to see Blue Beetle completely cut loose so that would be in a sequel but you can already see how he would be a total threat in combat. He just has so many options for good attack patterns here.

I also enjoyed the scarab. Generally he’s always been a really fun character and this one was no exception. The music is also not bad. I wouldn’t call it the next Guardians of the Galaxy or anything but the soundtrack worked well within the film. I will say that the big cliffhanger to the film is more on the weak side though. It’s not terrible but it’s also not particularly compelling unless you are a really huge fan of a certain character. Personally I like this guy quite a bit and even then I wasn’t particularly hyped. It just needed a little something more.

Overall, Blue Beetle is a pretty good film. While some may take my calling it a basic film to be a bit of an insult, I would say it’s just that the film was focusing on nailing the fundamentals. They managed to pull this off which isn’t always easy. The movie has very few real negatives and the most important thing is that it will go by really quickly. For example not all of the jokes land in the film, but it is generally funnier than it isn’t and there are enough jokes where you know they will land most of them. At no point does the film start to really drag on or anything like that. Instead you will be enjoying the action and the fun throughout. I’m sure the sequel would have been really good too.

Overall 7/10

Messiah of Evil Review

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It’s time for a zombie type of film and unfortunately I can assure you that it is not one of the good ones. There is no real escape for the heroes and while the film maintains a rather spooky atmosphere throughout, it never ends up taking advantage of this. What could have been a really intense cerebral horror film quickly becomes just another slasher to have to contend with. That is unfortunate but not entirely unexpected.

The film starts with a girl named Arletty deciding to look for her father. He left her a note saying not to do this as well as a whole book of notes but she doesn’t have time to read them in depth. When she arrives in town, the place is rather odd. One of the travelers at the gas station seemed rather off and then the town itself is fairly empty. There is an eccentric guy named Thom who is surrounded by girls and lives a life of luxury but it all seems rather empty. Arletty wants to continue on her mission but it does seem like the longer she stays here, the greater her risk of death will be.

Naturally she should have listened to her father’s note telling her not to follow him. That would have ended things right away and surely he wouldn’t have just sent her that notice for no reason right? She also should have read the whole book right away and planned for the worst. Now it’s not like there is a whole lot she could have done against the crazy zombies that would end up appearing but at least she would have been pretty well prepared. Instead she doesn’t really have a plan and always ends up being at a disadvantage.

She’s also a bit too trusting with letting Thom and his friends stay over right away. She doesn’t even know these people and odds are that they were crazy. Even by the end of the film Arletty is forced to take on more of a spectator role here as she can only wait until the inevitable happens. It’s always more fun when the protagonist can actually do a lot of stuff but in this case you could say that she was just a participant in a conspiracy that was much bigger than her. She wasn’t exactly the central focus this time.

Then we have Thom who is a bit of a space case. He tries to be calm and collected at all times but it can feel like a mask. He is quick to subtly threaten one of the girls when he feels like she has been too rude. Thom does well in the fighting near the end but ultimately it wasn’t really enough to turn the tides.

The characters are battling what is effectively an endless horde of monsters after all. Take one down and a few more will take the original’s place. It’s not like the main characters got a debriefing on this either so they’re going into the situation cold. The zombies are all cannibals, so the deaths are particularly gruesome. The film is going for max edge here and that’s really where you knew the film couldn’t come back from. It’s why I’m generally not a big zombie fan, it will usually lead to these kind of events which is hard to write around.

Since the heroes don’t really stand a chance, it also runs into the issue of the whole thing feeling futile. When the characters literally have no possible way to win, it is harder to get engaged into what is happening. If the film kept the threat vague then it might be able to survive on the atmosphere alone, but throw everything else in and you’re not likely going to come back from that.

The film has the cops show up at one point which made for an interesting addition, but unfortunately they are dispatched quickly. The way it was done was also unfortunate because it underscored that you could be turned into a zombie without being bit previously. I interpreted it as the red moon being able to transform anyone who is caught in its rays but of course then that makes things even more unfair. The villains also have a supernatural leader who has intense abilities of his own. That really doesn’t help the case for the heroes.

So the film ends up feeling rather mean spirited with the heroes having no chance and you just slowly watch as they end up dying. There’s not a lot of fun to be had with a premise like that and the film should have tried becoming an action title instead. At the very least, it does serve as a reminder that zombie films are not often going to be very good. If you see that as a genre then you know that you’re probably doomed.

Considering how dreary the film was overall, I’m surprised the ending didn’t have a little more pop. By the end of the film, we know that humanity is going to be destroyed but it’s handled in a very quiet way. I would have preferred that the invasion begins and that’s how the film ends. You may as well have things end in an exciting way like that right? It would certainly make the ending more exciting and memorable at least.

Overall, Messiah of Evil is definitely a film I’d stay far away from. There are no real positive moments to offset all the negatives here. The characters are pretty bad and the film just gets way too gruesome the whole time. It sets the tone early with the gas station murder. If the main characters could have done more damage and set this up as a more even fight then that could have helped. Have the zombies be traditionally slow or something. By allowing them to move at normal speeds like a human, it just makes them completely unstoppable. I don’t see how anybody is supposed to fight off powerful creatures like that.

Overall 0/10

Baron Blood Review

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It’s time for a movie that you could tell was going to go off the rails almost immediately. The characters are pretty bad and the whole film is one of the biggest compilations of self inflicted wounds that I have seen in a very long time. Definitely not going to go down as one of the next big horror films and I can see why nobody talks about this one. The baron is not a winner.

The film starts off with a guy named Peter deciding to visit his relatives. He wants a break from the usual routine of school work and what better way than by learning about the legend of Baron Blood? This guy was an ancestor of Peter’s after all. It doesn’t matter that the Baron was known to be an incredibly evil man. Peter is curious to know more about him. So when Peter learns about a spell that could summon the Baron back to life, he doesn’t hesitate to use it. Everyone warns him about this but he doesn’t care! After using the spell, mysterious things begin to happen. People begin to get murdered but surely this isn’t because of what Peter did right? There was another spell to destroy the Baron once more but due to a lot of carelessness, it ends up being burned. Is there any way to stop the Baron?

I think the biggest problem right away with Peter is that he has virtually no remorse for what he’s done. People are literally being murdered in gruesome ways and he’s still interested in how the spell worked. He continues to act fascinated and excited by what is going on even after the negative effects have been well under way. That doesn’t sound like a good character to me. In fact, that sounds like a pretty bad one. He’s more focused on seducing Eva and getting more scientific experience under his belt than saving the day.

For that reason, he was definitely never going to rank. I would also say Eva takes some guilt here for going along with this. Peter may be crazy but she doesn’t have to follow his lead. She could have just said no instead of letting herself get seduced immediately and going against her better judgment. It certainly didn’t go very well for her, that’s for sure. She was a big believer in the supernatural events going on so that’s even more reason why she should have taken a step back there.

Then we have Karl who isn’t as bad but he probably could have taken a harder stance in telling Peter to knock off his interest in the occult. I just can’t put a lot of blame on him because these are all adults so you have to trust in some common sense. Karl went about his life as normal and then once he found out about the threat, he got to work. He certainly felt more prepared than the other two and could at least talk with the cops without sounding crazy while the other two would phrase things in the craziest possible ways.

It’s a tried and true trope of the characters talking to the cops about monsters and actually thinking they will believe it. No shot, and I can’t even blame the cop there. It is a tough tale to swallow. As for the Baron, yeah he doesn’t have a ton of character or anything like that. He likes torturing people, that’s about the extent of personality that he has. He goes around wrecking everyone as much as possible. I guess he also seems to like Eva quite a bit so he has that trait as well which doesn’t really help matters.

You won’t be remembering this guy for very long. I suppose he is at least smart enough to be able to use a disguise and trick the heroes but that doesn’t take a whole lot of skill here tbh. Just about anyone would be able to pull the wool over these fighters! Even aside from the characters, the film had a bunch of issues though. For starters, I found it to be way too mean spirited. Since this guy’s whole thing is torture, he goes around torturing everyone.

All of the deaths are pretty brutal and the film comes across as rather mean spirited There isn’t much of a story beyond the carnage and even though the film’s runtime is fairly short, this will feel like a rather long experience. The movie actually could have been a bit better if the baron had pretended that he’d turned over a new leaf or something. That would have been far more interesting and then you would have an excuse for less violence in the meantime.

I suppose I’ll give the film credit for having some fairly good effects here. Everything is very practical and that can be a lost art at times. Meanwhile the script is fun enough with everyone talking all proper. It doesn’t make up for the writing of course as that is still a lost cause overall but at least that is a silver lining.

Overall, Baron Blood is definitely a film that I would advise you to avoid. In a way it almost feels like the original blueprint to a classic slasher film. The whole film is about the kills and the heroes being unable to do anything here as even they are captured and outmaneuvered. There aren’t any bright spots to raise the film up from the lower levels and you can do better with even the average horror film. Now that’s saying something since the whole genre tends to be on the lower side. That’s just how bad this film was. You can absolutely pull off a jerk main character but in that case I need a more satisfying ending for him. It felt like this guy wasn’t intended to be written like an antagonist, even though he absolutely was one. Never forget that the entire murder spree was 100% his fault. The Baron had been trapped by an immortal spell to suffer forever thanks to a witch and Peter ruined it just for kicks.

Overall 1/10

Hellboy Review

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It’s definitely been a long while since I’ve seen his one. The original Hellboy film was definitely a fun one and it’s the kind of random superhero film that you don’t see too much of. It kind of just throws you into a pretty big universe of characters and demons running around without trying to smooth it over with the general audience. You either like what they are going for right away or you don’t. There isn’t a whole lot of in between there and that works for me.

The film starts off during World War II with the Nazis trying to open some kind of portal to summon demons. The heroes stop them but find that a small demon has already gone through. He seems harmless enough and so they take him in. The demon is dubbed Hellboy and many years later, has become one of the best fighters in the BPRD. He is essentially immortal or at least has a long life as well as natural super strength and defenses. It’s good to have him on the side of the heroes although there are skeptics that think he should not be there. Some just don’t trust demons.

Well, that is where John comes in. He’s been transferred to help out at this unit as well as be Hellboy’s sidekick. Hellboy isn’t thrilled about this and gets even more upset when Tom appears to begin getting a crush on Liz, the girl that Hellboy likes. Now we have a bit of a rivalry when there isn’t time for one. The Nazi who fell into the portal has been revived along with his main two associates. They intend to continue their plans and Hellboy may be the only person on the planet who can stop them. Is he up to the task?

Now the subplot with Hellboy being upset at John is probably meant in part to be a bit irrational but I actually found myself being on his side. John did see to be trying to make a play while Liz was distracted by her never ending grief and so it was good that Hellboy was there to (literally) throw a rock into those plans. Ultimately it did mean he was away from the base when the villains arrived, but I’m not confident that he would have arrived in time anyway.

Hellboy is a solid lead, someone who is always ready for danger. He definitely doesn’t fear any kind of a threat of challenge and has a lot of confidence in his abilities. Perhaps his confidence does actually outweigh his abilities at times but I will always take that over being underconfident. Hellboy is one of those old school fighters who does a lot of solid posturing while winning the fight. He even has a giant gun that is useless 99% of the time but he still brings it to every mission to fire off a few shots.

Liz is a character who is rather tragic because her flame abilities are incredibly powerful but she has next to no mastery over them. They can go off at any point and often destroy tons of civilians when these outbursts happen. I give the film props for not shying away from that. There’s no quick mention about how everyone evacuated at the last second. No, she’s brought whole buildings down and lots of people have died which is why she is worried now. Definitely very valid.

In a way it does feel like the agency could have handled the situation a lot better instead of just leaving her to her own devices. Ah well, I look forward to seeing her in a more confident state in the sequel. We also have Abe helping the others as the resident mental specialist of the group. Unfortunately he really can’t fight very well so any action scene inevitably leads to him getting absolutely crushed. He was really not prepared for these fighters. Seems like a nice enough guy but you could basically write him out of the film.

As for John, he’s okay. The guy isn’t the most helpful but he does try his best. I do think he was fishy around Liz but other than that he is a decent member to the group. He doesn’t act completely shocked about every little twist which I’m glad about since some humans really overplay their hand in these films. Even if you never knew that demons existed for example, as an FBI agent you should be able to bluff pretty well.

The villains were surprisingly solid here. Kroenen is an experienced assassin who fights with a short blade at all times. He takes out quite a number of fighters in this film and what makes him scary is how he essentially cannot die. He is functionally immortal and will just keep on getting back up over and over again. A super soldier who does not tire, yes that is a fantastic premise for a villain.

Then we have the Sammael creature which also has a hard time dying. It gives Hellboy a really tough fight here. Technically Hellboy tends to always be the underdog in these fights but his endurance keeps him alive long enough to mount a comeback. I liked the design for the creature. Rasputin is a little more on the generic side. Nothing particularly wrong with him but he really has a hard time standing out. He also didn’t plan things out well in the end to put it mildly. The girl who was helping him never really got a role either.

That leads us to the best character in the film, Tom. Tom is one of those guys who just can’t stand demons. There are no exceptions for him and of course that means he doesn’t like Hellboy either. He takes a lot of shots at the demon and makes his voice known. Although this does result in Tom having to run away with his tail between his legs on multiple occasions. He can talk as tough as he wants after all but at the end of the day he is still just a human. He ends up burying the hatchet with Hellboy later on though.

The effects for the film have aged well and I also enjoyed the fights. They could be rather lengthy at times and the pacing is always quick. The film has the characters dealing a lot of damage to each other but never goes too far or feels particularly graphic. For the most part it’s your standard action film kind of action right here.

Overall, Hellboy is a fun film. It’s the kind of movie that ends before you really know it. It has no concrete weaknesses and keeps on moving forward with a very balanced approach. I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a fun action film and the universe around it is fun enough where you may even be tempted to pick up a few of the comics. The romance can be a bit on the weaker side as there isn’t much time to develop it, but we’ll see how the sequel handles that. It’ll be difficult for the next villains to pass this group.

Overall 7/10

Satellite in the Sky Review

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It’s time for a sci-fi film that is a whole lot more low key than you may have suspected. As a result it can struggle to hold your attention at times even though it is fairly well written. The characters aren’t bad or anything but at the same time you do feel like some of the turnarounds are a bit too quick. Mainly the dynamic with the main heroine and the main character but I’ll get into that in a minute. So if you’re up for a low key film about space, then this could be the one for you.

The film starts off with Britain announcing their great Stardust spaceship. It is such a modern design that it will be able to travel in space indefinitely. Captain Michael and his crew are ready but Kim the reporter has a lot of choice words about this. She thinks exploring space is an absolute waste and keeps talking about how the rockets and science are too dangerous. It’s a fool’s game and all that. Now she’s welcome to her opinion but it goes a bit far when she sneaks aboard as a stowaway. That could have thrown everything off with weight limits and all.

Additionally, she is still quick to be flirting with Michael and the two of them hit it off. The tough talk feels like a weak front and the banter while fun, also feels fake. How would this be working out when Kim is insulting everything Michael stands for? They fight a whole lot but I guess all the insults just bounce off. The romance doesn’t make any sense and I don’t know why we needed it when there are two other romance plots going on here with the other passengers on the plane. The film certainly was not lacking in drama.

The biggest drama here is actually that the U.S. steps in to announce that they’ve covertly hijacked the mission to test a bomb. It was a quiet takeover since the U.S. funded the research and it was definitely a good power move. The main characters didn’t like it but ultimately fell into line rather quickly. They knew that otherwise there would be no space trip and they had been prepping for a long time for this mission.

Likewise, as the audience we were waiting a long time for this because it’s not until about halfway through the film that the characters even leave the Earth. I like a good setup as much as the next guy but I was expecting quicker pacing than that. The film is taking itself extremely seriously and I dare say that was a mistake. It might sound counterintuitive, but for a sci-fi film I’m going to be most interested in any issues that occur in outer space.

I think you could have cut some of the general scenes on Earth like one guy fighting with his girlfriend because she had to go to work and couldn’t make their date. He completely overreacted there by the way since he essentially admitted he would have done the same thing if his job suddenly called him in. So why should he be so upset at her for that? He barely even apologies a instead he calls her about a ring and that’s their big reconciliation scene but he needed to be more upfront on owning up to the fact that he made a mistake.

What probably makes the film feel a bit off is how there is no real antagonist here. Yeah you could say the government as a whole would fit that bill but it’s not really played out that way. Yeah the scientists are annoyed about having to work on a bomb but it’s not as if they think the government is suddenly evil. You don’t have the classic saboteur with a gun or anything like that. So the main conflict is when the characters have to find a way to safely jettison the bomb without everyone blowing up. Ultimately it is the power of science that is able to solve this issue. It’s fitting enough but not super exciting.

The film just abruptly ends when they solve the issue. I’m always up for a quick finisher but it does underscore that the characters weren’t really interesting enough to see how their stories ended. I would have liked to see if there was any blowback to the USA doing secret stuff in Britain’s experiment or if that would have just continued to be expertly covered up.

So this film will have its main appeal if you go into it expecting a slice of life. Travelling into space may not exactly be routine but it’s sort of treated that way. Everyone involved in the voyage is a professional aside from the reporter and so they’re rather relaxed about the whole journey. Kim makes sure to try and stress them out but rarely ends up succeeding. I can’t emphasize enough that if you’re looking for an exciting film you will need to look elsewhere. However, if you are looking for a calm experience then this will be up your alley.

Overall, This film ends up falling right in the middle for me. It’s not funny or thrilling enough for it to have any replay value and so I wouldn’t really be recommending it to anyone. On the other hand it doesn’t really make any mistakes and the writing is good on its own. So that’s why it ends up just being one of those films that will be forgotten in short order. Not making any mistakes is a solid start but you also have to have some individual strengths as a film to really make people want to watch it. If you’re going to do a very serious film about what it’s like to travel in space, then you have to punch up the writing a bit with extremely likable characters. Kim actually could have been that character if you just shredded the romance subplot. Have her try to sabotage the mission or just constantly making fun of everyone and then you have a solid antagonist right there.

Overall 5/10

Paradise Canyon Review

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It’s time for the last of the John Wayne films in this marathon. This one has a bit of a larger cast than usual thanks to everyone from the medicine show. It’s a pretty fun way to end things and John has a fun time trolling everyone as per usual. He is always ready for a fight and is the smartest guy around. I’d also say the film is going for even more of a comedic spin than some of the other installments

The film starts off with John being tasked with a mission to stop all the counterfeit money being produced in a nearby town. He dashes over and a medicine show will be a good cover so he helps out a group that was on the run from the sheriff. This group is not the most professional so it could be risky but John knows he will have to take some risks here. After all the villains are led by Curly Joe, one of the most dangerous outlaws out there!

One thing that will probably annoy you right from the start is how John is protecting Doc and his travelling band of scammers. Yes, it will help him get into town and keep a low profile but these guys are actually con artists. Doc apparently gets dunk so regularly that his daughter isn’t even surprised anymore. He’s apparently promised her dozens and dozens of times that he would stop and yet instead he still gets disorderly and skips out on the bill.

Yes, the characters are played for comic relief but they’re still crooks. Doc should have found another way to get into town. Even to the end Doc never ends up being a good character but he is a fun antagonist if you view him that way. He even goes out of his way to antagonize the cops once he is right outside of the state lines. Definitely not something you would respect out of a more reputable character. The pair of thieves who work as his assistants are hardly any better either.

As for Linda, she’s mainly here for the inevitable romance plot. There’s not much development there, it’s just around to tick off a few boxes. As for Curly Joe, he’s fun enough. He stands out more than some of the other western villains. The guy knows that bribery is the only chance he’s really got against John once the hero gets serious. Ultimately it’s all for naught for him but the guy was doing well with his criminal enterprise for a long while so he did still know what he was doing.

John is a fun main character even if he had to compromise on his morals for a while there in order to get things working. At the end of the day he still saved everybody and really showed the villains who was boss. Curly may not have made the best sales pitch but it was still good to see John shut him down right away and even delivered some more good one liners.

As always, one of the things that really helps make these films so much fun are all of the one liners. You can expect witty dialogue across the board throughout the films. This one is no exception as everyone is rather overconfident and of course the script is good. I definitely miss these kinds of old school films for that reason. The songs can use a little work and temporarily slow down the pacing during the show but I guess the film anted to squeeze at least one show in.

The overall soundtrack is definitely iconic to me after I’ve seen so many of these though. Then the fight scenes also aged well with the good hand to hand fights as well as a little gun action. John is always able to come out on top. The pacing is good which goes without saying since the film is under an hour long. It’s not particularly hard to move at a fast pace when that’s your runtime after all. Technically the last maybe 15-20 minutes are all for the long climax so the film has its priorities straight.

Overall, Paradise Canyon is a pretty good film. The title itself doesn’t feel like it has much to do with the film at all but I suppose they just wanted a catchy title that is easy to remember. It definitely works in that respect. There isn’t a lot for me to say to really make this stand out from the others so I would just say that if you enjoy John Wayne films then you’ll like this one as well. This movie has it all, the classic frame up job, John taking on numerous enemies, long horse chase scenes, etc. They manage to squeeze all of this into under an hour as well. Now if you don’t like the old western setting or want to see something a bit more unique, then that’s the only reason to skip this one.

Overall 7/10