Category Archives: Live Action Movies

The Call Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film involving the 911 operations and how they really have to go through a lot. We hear about a ton of different crimes going on and the whole film is about being in the middle of a tragedy and how the operators ultimately won’t be able to stop everyone. It doesn’t make for the most enjoyable film that’s for sure.

The movie introduces us to Jordan who is one of the best in the business for 911 operators. She’s been at this for a while and knows how to very quickly enter in all of the combinations and do what she has to. Unfortunately she makes a big mistake in one case which causes the victim to be murdered so she transfers out of active duty and into a teaching role. She is pulled back in though when there is a big kidnapping case and Jordan is the only one with the skills to handle the call. Will she be able to save the victim this time or is it game over for her?

I’d say the main issue with this film is that it’s one of those movies that relies a whole lot on shock value. They want to really show just how bad the villain is so we have to watch large parts of his crimes in full detail. The scenes go on for a very long time and it’s all pretty tragic. A film that is more confident in its writing and overall abilities would leave more to the imagination and just hit us with the need to know bits. Instead this film goes all in on this to its own detriment. It doesn’t end up being a film that you would really want to watch at all as you’re ready to turn it off after the opening minutes.

Even the crimes we get over the intercom tend to mainly be rather grisly to remind people how tough the job is. For sure being a 911 operator is not something that would be for everyone. It’s incredibly difficult and high stress. For those reasons it is probably a good idea to have a film on it to remind people of that but this film just lacked any kind of subtlety which put it in a rough position right from the jump. I would say the film really shouldn’t have shown the first crime or at least made more parts of it be off screen. It’s just a real mean spirited intro.

Then for the main part of the film you at least figure Jordan will be taking the villain down before he can do much but he gets away with way too much. When we get to his base it seems like this guy has been in the business for a while which is extra grim dark and the girl was injured a whole lot before Jordan is able to get there. When the villain gets away with this much it just ends up making the end of the film feel like a very hollow victory instead of the full success that it should have been. It’s like something got lost midway through the film rather than it being a big success.

Jordan does her best as the main character and while she did make a huge mistake, it is something that could happen to anyone. She has seemingly had a spotless career up to this point and has handled many calls. Jordan also knew when it was time to leave active duty and did this in a way where she wouldn’t put anyone in danger by freezing up. Ultimately even by the end she was willing to put herself in a lot of danger to help the victim so I can appreciate that.

The ending of the film is going for that classic revenge kind of feel and I do think it’s one of the problems with shock value type films. You basically make the villains so evil and over the top that you can then give license to the heroes to do something equally cruel back to them. It gives the audience vindication and everything. I can see the satisfaction there but honestly the best kind of ending is just shooting the villain and keeping it moving. A quick death and you send a message to the rest of the crooks. It may not be as satisfying in the moment but it helps to prevent the film just getting more and more violent the whole time.

It goes without saying that the film is super violent and has a lot of dark tones so that’s another reason you wouldn’t recommend this title to just anyone. It’s also one of those films where anyone who stands up to the main villain isn’t going to do so well. For example we have someone who tries to call the cops and get attacked but from then on doesn’t look very good at all. You knew he was doomed from the start though and I don’t get how he lowered his guard. A second guy at the gas station even had a weapon and a drop on the main villain but then he lowers his guard to open the door?

Lets just keep this simple, if you see someone had kidnapped a girl you already know he’s deranged. So you don’t need to be looking around wondering what to do. You gotta keep him in front of you and either finish him off or hold him til the cops arrive. Opening the door to try and get the girl out isn’t going to help at all. 9 times out of 10 she is likely going to be in no physical position to help and if anything you just made it tougher because he can grab her as a hostage or something. You have to win the 1 on 1 fight first and then worry about all of that.

Overall, The Call is a pretty terrible movie all around. It’s super cliche’d and predictable the whole time. At most the only unpredictable part is how far the film takes things because I thought it would have at least some basic restraint. Definitely one you will want to skip at all times. There are no real positives to be said about this journey. This kind of plot at least regarding the kidnapping has been done way better in numerous films. This one is just relying too much on that classic kind of shock value that you would expect from a B movie. The whole thing has that forced dark tone about it. I’d definitely wait for a remake someday to iron out all the flaws and make this into a much better film. They can do it….I’m sure they can. It’s hard to get much worse after all.

Overall 1/10

The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse Review

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It’s time for a film about how crime does pay sometimes. You’ve definitely got an interesting premise here and the film has a lot of fun with itself. It’s never taken too seriously which works out pretty well for the tone. If it was too serious then the ending would definitely be real messy to put it mildly. As it sands, it makes for a fun story.

The adventure starts with Clitterhouse robbing more places. This guy may be a very well respected doctor but it’s just not enough for him. He wants to really understand criminals on a deeper level and so he measures his own heartrate and takes blood before and after each crime. Clitterhouse gets even more greedy though and decides to join an entire gang. He quickly takes down Jo and the big Rocks gang. He impresses them so much that they let him join and they even start to respect him as the leader. Their actual leader Rocks doesn’t take too kindly to this but at the end of the day what can he really do about it? Well…he’s a crook so there is a whole lot he can do about it. Clitterhouse better watch himself.

Clitterhouse’s best strength is how good he is at talking. He can always spin things in a way where it sounds most agreeable and the other characters really don’t know how to handle him. He is always a few steps ahead and that really puts him in the catbird seat here. He boldly walks up to the police to chat even while he has a bunch of diamonds. His assistant is constantly shocked at just how bold the guy can be. In a way you could also say it’s all a big bluff as half the time he isn’t really intending to do some of these things and then he just has to keep his cool. Like leaving the bag by the desk in the police station and things like that. At the very least I don’t think that was intentional.

Cliterhouse is a professional though so it takes a whole lot to really get to him. He was certainly nervous near the end but ultimately didn’t really show it and still got the best of rocks. I’d say he was most terrified at the court trial and not really for his own life. This guy was definitely a real character that’s for sure. At the end of the day he stole a lot and is definitely a criminal though. Even if it was all to write a book, I would argue that doesn’t really excuse all of the theft. So I was rooting for the cops here even if they did seem doomed the whole time. They were always one step behind.

It did make for a fun scene when they were all yelling at each other though. That was definitely some pretty good stuff. Meanwhile Rocks made for a decent main villain. He’s definitely not the smartest guy around and yet he does have some good plans on occasion. For example he did a good job of tracking down where Clitterhouse lived and getting the drop on him. Even the doctor did not expect that to happen so that was a big W on the villain’s part. Rocks may have been outshined by Clitterhouse for a while there but he was the leader beforehand so I was glad that the film didn’t suddenly make him inept or anything like that. That would have been a real stretch.

Butch was a real loyal member of the gang. He seems to mean well as far as the villains are concerned and he helped out quite a bit. You don’t forget it when a character shows up when it counts. From all of the villains he was the most likable one. Jo meanwhile is a solid villain but does not always play things very smart. Running over to Clitterhouse’s place without a plan was really not a good idea. She almost just made things worse for all of them. You always gotta have a plan when you have ties to the local mob.

As you can expect with an old title like this, the writing is definitely solid. The script is always real good and that helps turn what would otherwise be a very quiet and down to Earth movie into one that is super entertaining the whole time around. It’s hard to picture them being able to effectively remake this film nowadays as a result. You’d probably either see them trying to throw in a lot of explosions (Which in fairness could be cool) or the humor wouldn’t work as well. This kind of story all comes down to the execution after all. I’d also say it is a perfect example of how the comedy genre can step in and really provide a good assist from time to time. If you take the humor away from the film and make it super serious, it could still work but I don’t think it would be nearly as engaging. Also like I mentioned the ending would probably be far less satisfying.

Overall, this was a pretty fun film. These retro titles always have a whole lot of charm to them. The witty dialogue works real well so the humor is very effective while being low key the whole time. The pacing is good and the character cast is small so they each get a good amount of screen time and development. I don’t really have any issues with this film. It was a solid all around experience without any real downsides. If you like a solid film involving a bunch of mind games then this will definitely be a title that you do not want to miss out on.

Overall 7/10

Operation Crossbow

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It’s time for a film that takes place during World War II. I wasn’t exactly sure if I should put the review tag on this one or not since it’s based around real events but it sounds like a lot of the details don’t exactly match. Still, just about all of the big characters are using the actual names of the real people and everything so in the end I suppose it’s close enough.

The film mainly revolves around the Nazi’s attempting to build a super rocket. It would be able to deliver a bomb without even needing a pilot and would be virtually unstoppable. Right now there is one issue which is that the ship always tilts to one direction so it doesn’t reach the target. If they solve this issue then it could be all over for the allied forces. Britain sends their top agent Duncan to look into this. Duncan’s group is super skeptical and thinks that the intel is probably bogus since such a rocket is unheard of. Still, Duncan remains on the case.

It’s definitely good that Duncan stayed on this because the scientist’s argument was pretty faulty right out of the gate. The idea that the rocket couldn’t exist because he didn’t know how to build one was pretty crazy. They quickly bomb the original base the Nazi’s were using but this only buys some time. Duncan sends in John and Jacob to Germany to find out where the bombs are being stored now to take them out.

Both the heroes and villains have double agents working on each side which does make things complicated as well. On one hand the heroes get a lot of good intel but on the other hand they never know when they are walking right into a trap. This happens to one agent which results in him being badly beaten before being executed. It’s why you always see countries being real harsh with traitors because their betrayals really have a massive effect.

The film is generally light in tone but the betrayal scene is definitely intense and probably the darkest scene in the film. A close second would probably be when Nora is bumped off though. It was pretty tragic because she ultimately didn’t get to last very long and there was no reason for her to be destroyed. John even vouched for her but the army took her out anyway. Was definitely one of those moments where they were showing how extreme the good guys could be as well. They really didn’t want to take a chance on any other traitors but it doesn’t really excuse doing such a thing. She was an innocent civilian.

The movie definitely goes into a lot of detail on the investigation parts as well. This may not be as interesting at times like listening to the villains monologue while the heroes figure out what is important but it is always fairly tense. If the spies are caught then of course they will die. Meanwhile the villains will stop at nothing to perfect the bomb and even sacrifice 4 of their top pilots for this mission. Definitely a real high price they are paying right there for innovation.

The climax throws us into more of a classic gun fight. This is where the film is most like a James Bond type film. Before this most of the espionage was as low key and realistic as possible. It’s how you imagine spies would try to blend in as they just won’t stick out and only people who are close to the situation would even suspect anything. Using the alias of a dead person is super risky but it’s probably more ethical than kidnapping someone and using their identity. I imagine that would have a lot of extra risks and complications as well though since you’re already in enemy territory by that point.

The writing is really solid as you would expect and so the pacing is good as a result. While I didn’t like some of the methods the heroes chose, they were fairly heroic the whole time aside from that one moment. Everyone was out there doing their best and we got to see a lot of teamwork from the highest levels of government. It was nice to see them all pulling together and doing their best to put a stop to the enemies as opposed to just arguing in a room the whole time. It really helped that they could move quickly like bombing the first base before the villains could make any more headway.

I actually thought Duncan was going to be the main character of the film so I was surprised when he got sidelined early on. It was a pretty good misdirect though so I’ll definitely give the movie credit there. Not sure if that was the intent but it was also pretty realistic since often times the bosses wouldn’t be allowed to go on these missions anyway. That’s the whole point of having field agents to go in your place right?

Overall, Operation Crossbow is pretty solid. It’s definitely an interesting movie that will hold your attention the whole time. The writing is solid and there is always a whole lot going on. There are a lot of sacrifices on the heroes so this definitely wasn’t easy but at the end of the day they prevented a big invention that could have really turned the tides of the war. So it was a high cost victory, but a victory nonetheless. If you enjoy war tensions and a bit of James Bond type investigating then you should definitely enjoy this movie.

Run Silent, Run Deep Review

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This is a film about how obsession over revenge actually can work out pretty well. In a way the film’s overall message is quite a bit different than you’d expect since you’d figure that the mission would really fail to show that this wasn’t the way to go. It’s a pretty solid movie all in all with strong writing to keep you engaged.

The movie starts with Jim being celebrated by the crew and looking forward to many adventures as their captain. Unfortunately the celebration has barely concluded when he is told by exec that his ship is being given over to a guy named Richardson. Richardson’s own ship had been sunk about a year ago in the Bungo Straits where the Japanese have been successfully dominating every match. The U.S. has clear orders to avoid that area now but Richardson doesn’t care. He’s going to avenge his crew whatever it takes. Jim is certainly not pleased with how the lives of his crew are now being risked, but what can he do about it?

This film is fairly old school so everyone goes by the book and tries not to rock the boat much. That can be a bit annoying as Jim sees Richardson breaking the rules left and right but doesn’t really do anything about it. He sees the chain of command as not being something to jump over. So for example, when he notices Richardson going for the Bungo Straits, Jim will confront him about it privately. When the men on the ship ask about this, he just tells them to mind their business and keep it moving.

Jim’s doing his best to make sure the ship doesn’t devolve into chaos and that nothing crazy happens but I would say it happens at a rather huge cost. I don’t think keeping the men in the dark is the right answer. Jim’s almost compensating too hard to really show that he’s not going to try and take the ship back by force. It takes Richardson being really sick for Jim to really do anything.

Like I said in the intro though, Richardson’s plan actually works out fairly well. Yes, the heroes do take some big shots and have casualties. They almost could have all been destroyed but at the end of the day they stopped the Japanese threat that was sinking many shots. Richardson’s crew was able to pull off the bow shot when it counted despite this usually being a last resort technique. So you could say that Jim really trained them well.

I still think Jim should have been straight with the crew though. As for Richardson, he was also hiding things a whole lot. The fact that he refused to fight the first Japanese sub and let them get away just so he could go through with his mission was also pretty rough. Ultimately it works out pretty well but you never know if that one sub you avoided could go on to murder a bunch of people. It’s a high stakes bet with other people’s lives.

Ultimately Richardson’s story ends in a way you would expect because otherwise with the amount of rules he broke, things probably wouldn’t go great there. Results aren’t often enough to make up for the fact that you’ve broken orders, particularly in the army and the navy where these things are put as a premium. If you break them then the whole system starts to fall apart after all.

So there’s a good amount of tension here and the film does go into great detail about what a submarine fight is like. We see how you have to maneuver each torpedo and set the coordinates before firing. The precise angle to lower the ship while firing to do the bow shot, etc. Fans of submarine processes will get a particular kick out of it. It’s perhaps a bit more detail than I really needed but I wouldn’t say it ever drags the film on too long or anything like that.

The writing is always really good as you would expect for an old time film like this. The characters all talk like professionals and the dialogue exchanges are always really good. While we only have two main characters, there are still a number of sailors who get dialogue and show up from time to time. They help to move the plot around even without being individually important to what’s going on. It helps to make the submarine feel alive with the world building.

I also like that the Japanese aren’t just sitting around waiting to get blown up. We see them trying mental warfare tactics midway through the film where they deliver a message in English to taunt the main characters with how many ships have been sunk and also calling out their names to show that they know a lot. They have been doing well in the Bungo Straits after all so it makes sense that they wouldn’t just be taken out so easily.

If there is any plot armor or convenience here, it’s that I have a tough time believing so many people survived the initial explosion in the first scene. When Richardson’s ship is blown up, we see a number of people on rafts hanging on. We can assume a lot of them died later on from shock and injury since Richardson keeps referring to his crew as dead and it sounds like all of them didn’t make it except for him. Still doesn’t really answer how they survived an exploding ship in the water though, that just seems incredibly unlikely especially while the enemy ships were still around and this was in the middle of the Bungo Strait.

Overall, Run Silent, Run Deep is a pretty good movie. The story itself is fairly straight forward and as the movie is pretty short. The pacing is on point though and it keeps your attention the whole way. Being on a ship/submarine can make for a pretty good background. There isn’t a lot of scenery but it also helps to keep the tension up since there is really no escape. When an enemy ship shows up you generally have to fight and if you lose then you lose your life. So the stakes are definitely pretty high there unless you are half sub and can just run away but then the whole crew gives you heat for that. It’s all about the army politics and that’s always fun.

Overall 7/10

Electric Dreams Review

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Electric Dreams is one of those films that is trying really hard to balance out the comedy and romance perfectly. The problem though is it usually can’t get this just right and leans more on the comedy angle. That’s not necessarily a problem but the romance ends up being very poorly written and even some of the jokes don’t make too much sense. The film is trying very hard but I don’t think the humor has aged particularly well and at times you’re almost wondering what the main conflict of the movie even is. It feels like there wasn’t as much tension/drama as you would expect and it’s not like there is an end of the world threat going on. It just feels a bit aimless.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Miles who is an architect and he helps by planning out different ideas. He is not very tech savvy though and is super behind the times so it’s time to finally buy a computer. He gets one and almost immediately blasts it with some champagne. This causes the computer to turn into a sentient A.I. named Edgar. Edgar can do just about anything and has some really nice musical skills. This attracts a musician named Madeline who falls for Miles and he is rather enjoying the attention so he decides to lie to her about this. Edgar is upset because he likes Madeline and it’s his music so he decides to start causing some havoc. Meanwhile there is already a guy in the band known as Bill who is with Madeline. Which of the 3 guys will be able to claim her?

The first thing you have to realize here is that none of the characters are even remotely likable. Miles is the kind of guy who is mild mannered among the cast except with Madeline where he will yell at her at the drop of a hat. He’s definitely rather rude at times and lying to her about the music the whole time is pretty rough. Yes, he tries to come clean once or twice initially and Madeline doesn’t believe him but what you have to remember is that she’s not very smart at all. Miles continues to lie more and more about basically everything and that’s not a good look for him either. Miles is just not the guy you would really want to hang around. He feels way too sorry for himself and is the kind of guy who would get corrupted by a super computer immediately. The fact that Edgar is dominating him the whole time is crazy.

Miles is also too desperate for Madeline the whole time. Even after going backstage and seeing Bill having his fun with her, Miles is excited for the date coming up? Shouldn’t he talk to Madeline or confront Bill? Bill’s the most random inclusion in the film to be honest because there is really no point for this guy to be here. He’s only here to complicate matters and probably has less than 5 minutes of screentime. His appearance also makes Madeline look bad as a result.

Madeline should have set boundaries and cleared everything up right in that first scene instead of letting Miles be obviously awkward about the whole thing. Madeline is also one of the least intelligent heroines I’ve seen in a while as she misinterprets everything and has no clue what is going on. Yeah you could say that’s part of the comedy to which I would say it’s not very well written comedy. Madeline doesn’t seem particularly loyal or trustworthy with how quickly she gets into relationships. Also, her reaction of grinning when Miles wrecked her big concert (Thanks to Edgar) was completely bizarre.

Imagine someone making a lot of noise during your big performance and you’re just grinning. The alternate answer is that she didn’t hear what was happening, but everyone in the audience could and the conductor could, so is her hearing bad? The issues continue to mount over and over again. So as you can probably guess I wasn’t exactly rooting for the relationship to work out here. Seems like it’ll be really toxic and not be a good long term plan.

Finally you have Edgar who is super whiny the whole time. He wants to know about love and he wants Madeline to be with him but the guy is a program. Why is he so desperate here? He practically starts crying after a while. He has a good time messing with Miles but at the end of the day is unable to finish him off. So much for computer power. At least by the end of the film he figures out a way to expand his reach so instead of just annoying a few characters, now he can annoy the entire planet. That’s definitely one way to make your mark on the world.

It feels like you could have come up with a much more compelling storyline here if you really wanted to. It doesn’t even have to be the usual thriller kind of story where the machines take over. Just have it be a more intense rival that doesn’t whine so much. Give Madeline more agency, cut out Bill, and also make Miles more likable. Basically you just need to switch a whole lot of elements about the film and then this could be a good one. At its core you could say it’s a writing issue. The writing in the movie just isn’t good.

Overall, Electric Dreams is not a particularly good film. It’s a comedic film that is trying too hard and doesn’t end up being very funny. It felt like the movie didn’t exactly know what its end game was for a while there. I’m not saying you had to have some kind of a big and ambitious plot the whole time but the movie absolutely could have done something to stand out more here. The best thing I can say for it is that it does make using the computer really fun the whole time. I liked the graphics and how everything was voice activated. When Edgar turned on a Pac Man simulation to beat up Miles that was also pretty fun. We should have had more of this, direct man vs machine. You may be thinking that it should be easy to just smash the CPU but Miles makes that look like an absolutely impossible challenge the whole time.

Overall 4/10

Man on Fire Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those big thriller movies that definitely gets real intense. Movies involving a kidnapping usually are after all since the stakes are extremely personal right off the bat. The villains are all super evil even if they claim to be professionals and so you’re dragged into the revenge fantasy right away. I would say this one is pretty solid but it definitely doesn’t mind being over the top violent at different points.

The film starts off with The Voice orchestrating another kidnapping and forcing the father to pay a lot of money. Kidnappings have become a huge deal within the country even more than usual and as a reporter notes, this is organized crime. Someone is pulling the strings on this operation and his influence continues to grow. John is hired to protect, Pita, the daughter of an influential man who owns an empire. John used to be a super agent but unfortunately he developed a drinking problem which dramatically reduced his abilities and he has lost his confidence. John only accepts the deal because he needs the money and he is assured that the likelihood of a kidnapping is very minimal. He does his best to not bond with Pita so this will remain as an impersonal job but he is unable to keep this up and she is kidnapped.

Most victims do not actually make it back once kidnapped and as a professional, John knows this. So now he is going to set out on a mission to murder each and every kidnapper around. Can he really pull this off while surrounded by villains and unable to rely on the corrupt police force for help? It’s definitely not going to be easy but he’s definitely been angered enough to stay sober so his skills will be at their peak now.

Like I said, this is a fairly long film so there is a whole lot going on here. The film spends a whole lot of time introducing the characters in the first half even before the kidnapping. Despite you as the viewer knowing that this can’t last, the film decided to try and up the emotional beats here. I think it was a pretty solid decision even if you know what’s going to happen. I can’t think of any scenario where you could hide the fact that Pita will be kidnapped either way since the context clues would be there for the audience right from the start. The first half is also still interesting even if a bit slow at times.

Pita has already been through a lot growing up in such a corrupt place so she doesn’t panic as much as most kids would have in her position. She does make one mistake where she turns back instead of continuing to run, but at that point I have my doubts that she would have escaped either way. Meanwhile John is a solid main character even if he doesn’t look very good at first. Being a jerk to a kid is definitely not the way to win any points. Yeah, you get why he is doing that but it’s not a good look and of course he is suffering from a lot of PTSD at the start. In the second half he locks in. The guy definitely isn’t afraid to go full villain mode on the opponents either.

While I won’t blame him for any of this since it all seems pretty justified from his position, in general I never like to see the heroes torturing villains under any circumstances. The cycle just gets a little too violent for me in the whole everything goes kind of ballgame. It’s one of the things that does hold this film back a bit as well as I feel it relies pretty heavily on shock value on different moments. A top tier film will go with the implied violence route where you don’t actually see anything while this one wants you to see and feel every single injury. I always take that as a sign that the story wasn’t quite strong enough to stand on its own.

My other issue is in how generally corrupt everyone else is. The only characters who are actually being helpful is John’s old contact from the CIA days and a reporter. For the reporter, she has to put up with constant harassment and blackmail when helping out and the fact that the other guy never gets his comeuppance was annoying. I would have trashed this entire subplot because it doesn’t add anything to the story. We already know most of the characters here are awful, we didn’t need this part. Those scenes are definitely annoying the whole time.

Most of the characters are super flawed which is the jaded theme that the film is presenting and it’s the kind of theme that can be exhausting real fast. Also I didn’t care for the ending. While writing the review I quickly looked up the alternate ending and it is 100x better. I don’t know why they didn’t keep that ending, it seems way more satisfying to me. I dare say it would have helped the whole movie because with this ending it just doesn’t feel like there is a ton of hope for the heroes in general. It’s like they won a battle but had no real effect on the world. You can call it a realistic ending, I just call it an annoying one.

My final main complaint with the film is the crazy camera work. It was one of the worst displays I’ve seen since one of the Taken films. There is a lot of constant spinning almost as if this is a found footage film at times. The colors are a mess and the film is just all over the place. It never really lets up which hurts the fight scenes as well. With how obnoxious it is, I’m assuming there is some thematic/narrative reason for it but it definitely didn’t work out very well for me. Give me some classic camera work instead and that would have been better.

Overall, Man on Fire is one of those movies with a decent pitch and execution but shoots itself in the foot before reaching the finish line. It’s just trying to be too dark and shocking the whole time. It would have been a lot better if it showed more restraint. Yes, it’s definitely nice to see John taking it to all of the villains who clearly did deserve to die but doing it in the slowest/most painful ways possible tends to push the envelope a little too far for my tastes. The film could have used some more injections of hope to make the whole thing a bit better. Keeping the happier tone of the first half at least for the ending with less tragedy in the middle would have done wonders. If you are looking for a really intense revenge thriller though, this should be right up your alley.

Overall 4/10

Machine Gun Kelly

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It’s time for a film about Machine Gun Kelly, or as he’s called near the end, Pop Gun Kelly! That was probably one of the best insults that I’ve heard in a long time. That was absolutely great, I was cracking up there. The cops got to have a good laugh and it was just such a clever line you know? This film does a good job of chronicling the events of what’s going on here and establishing Kelly as an all bark no bite kind of character. I don’t always think what the characters were doing would make any sense though.

Kelly ends up robbing a big bank and showing the world why he is to be feared. He has quite a bit posse of men around him and his girlfriend is particularly impressed with his antics. She likes to flirt with everybody to rile Kelly up and cause some chaos. Definitely one of those really crazy relationships and it only gets worse from the intro. The cops need to grab Kelly but it’s hard to find him. So for now they will wait and ponder their next move. They have all the time in the world while Kelly is bound to make a mistake sooner or later.

It’s honestly pretty easy to see how Kelly and the gang were caught in this movie with how much they were fighting. Someone was constantly getting beaten up and thrown around. Imagine losing your arm to a lion/tiger and not getting revenge right? Kelly definitely underestimated the guy there. I think the main problem with some of their actions is ultimately for moments like this though. Kelly is having a breakdown so his girlfriend starts pulling moves on his friend so he could go and beat Kelly up. The guy does so…and then doesn’t finish Kelly off? So naturally Kelly grabs his machine gun and gets the upper hand.

At several points in the film the characters get beat up and just go back to working for Kelly. Then some have absolutely no situational awareness. One of Kelly’s friends starts laughing and making fun of Kelly for being scared…while Kelly is right there. So obviously the guy is beaten up for a while. Another guy tries to steal some of the money…and so naturally he gets beat up, etc. None of the villains seemed to be any smart and hey sometimes they aren’t but this felt a little extreme at times.

Even the tough girlfriend who was calling the hots and messing with everybody. Laughing as much as she was while getting in Kelly’s face was not a good move. How about the cabal of fighters who threatened to murder Kelly but then they were just gambling in a room so he shot them all? A lot of the events in the film just come across as being rather bizarre so I can see why this is a fairly loose adaption. I imagine things definitely didn’t play out quite like this in a lot of ways. The important thing though was to get across just how scared Kelly was the whole time and I would definitely say they succeeded in that. The guy was extremely afraid of everything death related. Put him next to a skull or anything like that and it was curtains for the guy. He was definitely not coming back from that.

He was also shown to not even be a villain with an honor code. He was very quick to betray his girlfriend for some random ladies and had no real remorse about it. He’s rude to everyone and Kelly is always making a bunch of threats. As tough as his girlfriend was acting near the end, I do think there’s a few times she could have come close to being bumped off. She may claim that Kelly didn’t have the guts but in a fit of rage I definitely wouldn’t take that for granted. This is the kind of guy who could absolutely pull that off if he needed to.

Then you have the little girl who was being held hostage and the caretaker. The whole thing was definitely a rough spot for them. Both of them held themselves together fairly well I’d say. The caretaker went through a lot but I was glad at least in this case Kelly wasn’t about to let things go any further. I’ll take what I can get in terms of moral character. It may not be a whole lot but at least it’s something.

For a film called Machine Gun Kelly, he doesn’t actually use the weapon all that much though. I think it might have been good to see him using the gun a few more times against some random gangsters at least. You can’t do it at the end because it would not match the ending’s message so I get that, but doing it earlier would have been a really good idea. It would make the ending hit all the harder. Honestly Kelly’s rationale also makes a lot of sense. Why fight a battle that you know you can’t win and you would die for rather than surviving another day even if it’s in prison. It’s not quite so simple of course as continued survival can be rough in its own way but yeah dying for no reason is not really a tempting offer to anyone.

Overall, Machine Gun Kelly is an entertaining film. Sometimes perhaps not for the reasons that were originally intended but it will definitely keep your attention the whole way through. The final line alone is really worth the watch but it’s generally a good time either way. The only bad scenes I’d say involve the lion and Kelly really poking fun at him the whole time and teasing him by throwing rocks. I could definitely do without all of that so those were the weakest scenes. When it was the gangsters all fighting and trying to get on each other’s nerves things were way more exciting. The film never forgets to remind you how they’re all villains and I appreciate that. You’re rooting for the cops to take them down the whole time.

House of Usher Review

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It’s time for a film that is sort of trying to be spooky but in a very low key way. It’s less about jump scares and more about wondering why the characters are all acting rather off. What part of the story are you not seeing in the background? Those are the questions you are meant to be asking yourself as the adventure goes on. Some parts definitely haven’t aged super well though, mainly the characters being super weak willed and just going along with what’s being said even when it makes no real sense.

This movie’s actually fairly short so they have to move fast. It starts with Philip heading over to a spooky mansion to see his fiancé Madeline. He is excited to bring her back home to Boston with him but the butler Bristol says that her brother Roderick is refusing anyone entry. Philip insists on being brought in and confronts the guy. Roderick explains that he and Madeline suffer from a rare ailment where their bodies are historically weak. Any light that is too bright or sound that is too loud will cause them to get weak or sick. They could even die from this affliction and it gets worse the older they get. Even eating is a chore since their sense of taste is too strong. Philip suspects thar Roderick is making this up and intends to take Madeline with him anyway. He will do so as soon as the night has passed but will he survive until then?

The house itself tries to bump Philip off on multiple occasions. Whether it is a hot pot slightly moving in the background or the stairs giving way, the building is not holding back. It’s not super powerful though so Philip is usually able to handle himself well enough. Roderick is really the main threat here but it depends on if he is lying or not. After all if he’s telling the truth, Philip could just punch the guy once and the extreme pain would probably knock him out. If Roderick is lying though, then it’s probably game over for him right out of the gate. Philip doesn’t really seem like the fighting type after all, especially with how docile he is.

I always like the old manner of speaking and how polite everyone is but this definitely shows the weakness to that approach. Philip puts up with too much here as Roderick continues to challenge him and forbid Madeline from spending much time with him. The guy will send her off to bed early and everything. Philip absolutely should have been standing up to Roderick here more and ultimately the final events of the film are his fault from this point on. He shouldn’t have left Madeline in any position for Roderick to be with her. Especially not when the plans were already made to leave.

I also have to give Madeline some big criticism here as well. She should have been speaking up for herself as well instead of constantly hiding behind Roderick and letting him dictate her life. Sure she had some half hearted moments where she would try to voice her feelings but then he would shut her down every time and that was the end of that. It’s not exactly something that is awe inspiring. It just shows that she is not being very independent. Also, if Philip had not shown up, was she just not going to ever go and visit him? It sounds like she borderline just vanished one day and I guess she was letting Roderick trap her the whole time. Not her best look.

The butler Bristol isn’t much better than any of the characters either since he is complicit in everything that was going on. The guy could have stepped in to end things at any time but chose not to do so. That was a big error in judgement and definitely held him back quite a bit. So while he may not seem as villainous as Roderick, I can’t really give him any kind of pass here.

The cast is really small as these are the only 4 characters running around. Roderick is by far the toughest of the 4 as he dominates each of the characters with ease. It’s even more embarrassing for Philip when you consider that Roderick spends a lot of his screentime explaining how weak he is and how every element can destroy him. Philip is really letting this guy call the shots the whole time? It’s definitely a real bad look without a doubt.

Once we get to the climax, we finally get to the intense moments as we get a quick fight and lots of destruction. It all just happens way too late for one character so you understand the rage but feel like it should have happened a whole lot sooner. The building gets its last moments in there as well and it makes for an intense, but odd kind of ending. I don’t really know by the end exactly what the building really wanted. Roderick’s character is a bit confusing as well on the exact point of what he was doing. Was he really just a doomer waiting for it to all end? It felt like he could and should have had some kind of grander ambitions at some point.

Overall, House of Usher is a passable film without a doubt. The short length likely helps in this case to help mask the fact that there isn’t a ton of story to be found here. It’s a good movie even if the characters are super annoying. You wish Philip had more of a backbone so things would have gone way differently though. The film avoids most of the usual horror pitfalls and stays interesting so I could recommend it to the average moviegoer. Just don’t go in expecting a really big/epic horror title. This is absolutely more of a subdued adventure with a big payoff at the end but plays more like a drama than a horror most of the time. The house’s feeble attempts at getting Philip like moving the pot around isn’t exactly going to terrify you after all.

Overall 4/10

The In Laws Review

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It’s time for a film about just how crazy a wedding can get. You don’t really know what the other family is going to be like after all and you just have to fear for the worse. This film’s pretty good, I do think it drags on just a bit as it goes on with Shelly taking way too long to get with the program but it still does have a good amount of gags and I like the general premise. Ultimately it’s enough for me to give this one a thumbs up.

The movie starts off with Shelly getting ready to finally meet the father of his daughter’s fiancé. This guy has been particularly elusive for quite a while now to the point where the wedding is going to be in just a few days. Shelly isn’t worried until his dentist patient confirms that this is a really big deal. If the father is no good then the son might be a mess as well. Sure enough, Vince is a mess who seems to be a chronic liar and now Shelly wants the marriage to be called off. Unfortunately he is quickly pulled into a giant CIA conspiracy and now he is wanted for stealing millions of dollars. Can Shelly escape this plight and protect his daughter’s future or is this an elaborate way to get him out of the picture?

Again this is a comedy so you shouldn’t take the plot too seriously. All the CIA stuff is handled overly dramatic of course and the film doesn’t mind going completely bonkers with everyone being extremely expressive. Shelly is the biggest example of that as most of his dialogue is yelling and panicking. The guy does not know how to be subtle at all so even in a crowded cafe he’ll be yelling about CIA secrets. The guy was definitely not built for this kind of mission and Vince probably should have left him out of it. I get the feeling he would have had an easier time grabbing the briefcase and ducking off on his own. That’s how much Shelly tends to hold him back.

I can definitely understand why Shelly thought the whole marriage was probably a bad idea after meeting this guy. He doesn’t exactly overwhelm you with confidence after all. I may not care for Shelly much as a character as the “normal” guy panicking about the weird one the whole time usually gets old fast, but he still had some valid points here. Ultimately he just should have stayed focused on his business and none of this would have happened to him. Of course it wouldn’t be much of a film in that case. Shelly’s best moment was definitely when Vince accused him of not being able to understand what was happening and Shelly made a speech about how he shouldn’t underestimate the average guy down the block. That was a pretty good defense.

Vince has been around the block many times and has his moments where he seems to be good at being an agent but then on the other hand he has tons of moments where you feel like he has just gotten really lucky the whole time. Vince doesn’t really panic but at the same time he’s almost constantly on the run. Yes he’s a great shot but that doesn’t help when he’s heavily outnumbered. Even to the very end of the film he only survives on absolute luck which is definitely not the best look for the guy.

The banter with Shelly and Vince can be fun. I actually even prefer that to the fight scenes themselves since those of course aren’t always being taken super seriously anyway. At least for the arguments you see where both of the characters are coming from. A title like this needs a lot of banter in order to succeed after all and I would say it works out pretty well. I also liked the CIA correspondent who shows up twice to talk about how crazy Vince is.

This works as a solid mystery because Vince has been so unbalanced throughout the film that you can’t entirely rule out the possibility that he has been leading Shelly on the whole time. Perhaps he really was kicked out of the CIA and has gone rogue to steal millions of dollars. For all Shelly knows, he is really getting himself into trouble now. Of course he ultimately isn’t able to get out once he’s so deep in anyway so it’s all a moot point. Now he just has to try and stay alive which isn’t easy as a normal citizen with no combat oriented background.

What I would do to keep the momentum up in the second half would be to probably remove the entire climax of the main characters getting captured and the near shootout. Instead switch that to Shelly finally taking the reigns. Have him take the money over to the dentist’s office and make a play like he’s going rogue. You could have Vince finally be lost as to what’s going on and then it turns out this was just a way to smoke the villains out from hiding. This way you give Shelly some kind of a big win outside of really just being along for the ride and helping out in small ways. I think that would give him more agency and could have made the ending a bit more fun. I definitely don’t buy the two of them being friends by the end the way this film ended. There were just too many instances where Shelly really could have died and Vince isn’t exactly apologetic so there isn’t much reason for them to get along. If anything, keeping it a bit antagonistic would have opened the door for some sequels with the characters pretending to be nice while the kids were there before going back to their normal selves.

Overall, The In Laws is a fun enough film. I do think they could have had a little more fun with the concept though. Instead of this all being one mission, a montage early on of Vince giving crazier and crazier reasons for why he has to cancel on appointments would have worked really well. Then you set up the main story. I also think you could probably rope the kids in a bit too by having them start to fight about some of this stuff. Even though their upcoming wedding is the main plot point, they don’t actually get to appear much at all. Their screen time is surprisingly small. Either way, this film is a good one to check out if you want some light hearted fun. It should keep your attention well enough the whole time and at the end of the day that’s the important thing.

Overall 7/10

Cover Up Review

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It’s time for a film about an insurance guy and that’s pretty fun because it’s super rare to see one in the spotlight. Yeah that made for a good story. This guy always knows when something isn’t right and makes a move on that. The sheriff dares him to try that in a small town but what he doesn’t realize is that our hero grew up in a small town so he’s really ready for anything.

The movie starts off with the suicide of a guy named Phillips. Sam has to go to the town for a routine check to confirm that the guy is dead and all. It’s supposed to be a very routine thing but when he gets to town the sheriff isn’t particularly helpful. There is no morgue report, the gun has vanished, there are no bullets, and they don’t want to even let Sam see the body. Is Phillips even dead? Sam’s going to have to go into this mystery even if it means going up against the entire town. Does he really have what it takes?

Well, the good news is that Sam’s a tough character who isn’t going to back down just because of a little intimidation here. He gets into it with Sheriff Larry on several occasions and just keeps on coming back for more. Larry is really determined to keep Sam on a short leash but this main character is not so easily deterred. No, he’s just getting started. The more Sam looks into this though, the more the suspects begin to rise. Everyone in town despised Phillips, he was unanimously agreed to be an awful person and they all agree that the town would be better off without him.

Frank is the fierce suspect here because he was going out with Phillip’s niece and the guy didn’t really seem to like the idea. Then you have Stu who just so happens to own the same kind of gun that was used to potentially destroy Phillips, once Sam managed to get Larry to show him the bullets. Stu’s daughter Anita is distraught about this and so she quickly begins to try and hide evidence from Sam as well. Then there’s the doctor but as Sam gets close there, the doctor quickly has a heart attack and dies. Most inconvenient, that’s for sure.

The weak point of the film is definitely the romance though. During this case Sam falls for Anita and in the background of a possible murder conspiracy this just doesn’t feel like the right time. Additionally, it’s hard to see how it could possibly end well once she starts hiding the facts and working against Sam. She basically says if Sam continues to do his job then they will be enemies and she really gets to work on burning the bridge during Christmas. Things work out for her so then she’s happy again but it’s just way too late by then. The fact that she was blaming Sam for just doing his job was rough.

Especially since Sam could have easily never found out the truth. He was giving his best effort which is his job, why should he be given such a hard time abut that? It just made no real sense and even less sense that they would get back together after that. Sam is definitely the most likable character here. I really appreciated that he never gave up. It’s really not easy when everyone is rooting for you to fail after all. Sam stuck to it and the company knows they have an asset in him. He may not have finished the job in the end once he learns the context but he made sure that he would know the truth before he left.

Larry makes for a solid main antagonist here but the guy can definitely be rather annoying. If he had played ball at all a bit sooner then everything would be easier for Sam. Of course, that wasn’t in Larry’s interests which is why he was getting in Sam’s way every step of the process. The banter between the characters is pretty great I have to say. Larry even goes as far as to talk slow and bring up dead topics like his cigars over and over to just be purposefully obtuse. The biggest issue is that Larry’s actually really smart so he is pretty good at dodging the questions over and over just to make things tough on Sam.

It all goes back to vigilante justice here. When you’ve got someone terrorizing a town but no legal means with which to stop him, then naturally the people are going to get more and more desperate and something is going to eventually happen. That’s just a foregone conclusion no matter how much the characters may not like it. Technically I don’t even think all of the characters knew what happened here. Some of the most influential ones did of course but even for a small town I don’t think the word totally spread to the rest of the populace.

The film also takes place around Christmas time which is pretty fun. You get to see the characters all hanging out and getting ready for happy days only to have this big controversy show up. One of the best characters was the maid/housekeeper who really liked showing off how much knowledge she had. She didn’t care what was going on, she would blurt out answers when she felt like it. It made one of her scenes in particular work really well to show that she still had one concern above even that. She was willing to put herself in jeopardy to help someone as well. Pretty much everyone in the town was super loyal and as Sam said before, they all tend to be pretty good people.

Overall, Cover Up is a pretty good film. It definitely had my attention the whole time. You’re really not sure what happened along with Sam and the film gives you just enough twists and turns where you even have to acknowledge that perhaps it really was a suicide. You just don’t really know for sure until the end and there are a good amount of suspects. Each alibi tends to be rather weak so you have to go with your gut at that point. I think the one character everyone would assume it was not would be the sheriff since that would just be way too obvious. The super obvious answer is rarely the right one after all.

Overall 7/10