Category Archives: Live Action Movies

Selena

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It’s time for a film about a singer that I was not particularly familiar with. That said, those are the kinds of films where you can learn the most. After all, if you watch a film based on someone that you are already very familiar with, then naturally you aren’t going to learn a whole lot. So that makes a lot of sense. It’s a reasonable film but the pacing can really slow down to a glacial pace at times and the movie didn’t do a very good job of getting you to support the main romance when that seemed to be the goal.

The film starts off with Abraham trying to get some good gigs for his band but it doesn’t work out and eventually they have to disband. He tried to get over music for a long while but it’s one of those things that you just can’t get away from. He realizes that his daughter Selena has talent and wants to make her into a star. To this end he begins to contact all of his old friends to try and get some opportunities lined up but it won’t be easy. The family will have to fight hard to keep everyone together here.

It’s definitely a rocky start for Selena as her first few venues don’t have many people showing up but that makes sense. It takes a lot to break out in this industry and while her father sees her talent, to the outside world it’ll seem like he’s probably just bias towards his family. That would be completely understandable after all. Still, she eventually begins to prove herself and naturally that also means she starts to get a whole lot of popularity. That comes with a lot of positives and negatives.

Midway through the film a guy shows up and a romance starts immediately. It was easy to see why Abraham was real skeptical though. This guy is a bit shady right out of the gate and at the first opportunity he does get in with the wrong crowd and causes a ton of trouble. Yes, he says that he loves Selena but as Abraham points out, she is super rich and popular. There would be a lot of incentives for the guy to say that. Selena believes it’s true love but does come across as naive with how quickly she thinks this.

She had already given him a lot to worry about with how she had started to dress up in more risqué fashion so he was just trying to make sure that things didn’t get too crazy. Perhaps at times Abraham would overstep but I’d say on the whole he did a good job as a parent. His biggest mistake was probably opening up the restaurant that ended up failing. Taking risks is fine but not when you’re playing with the family money. That really put everyone in a tough spot.

As for the music itself, it seemed decent. None of the tracks were super memorable but I suppose the style of music can sometimes blend together a bit. The songs also rarely got to play all the way through so maybe that could have helped to tip the scales a bit. I was still glad to have some songs involved to shake things up though. Music is something that can always enhance a movie. The songs themselves don’t even have to be amazing or anything like that, it just helps the tempo and pacing.

In a way since this is more of a slice of life film, there isn’t a whole lot more to get into. Between songs and events we see that the family stayed really close and were still together even once she had gone professional. That was nice to see since it can be rare for the group to stick together like that. She seemed to have a good support network and if she had been able to go on for longer then I’m sure her popularity would have only continued to grow.

It was a nice change of pace to have a film like this that didn’t have a ton of tragedy throughout. Aside from the ending, it’s really an upbeat film all the way through. Yeah there are some issues that they all had to face here and there but nothing super dramatic. Often times when you see a film based on true events, you’re expecting a lot of death and controversy. Instead we mainly just got to see a glimpse into what it can be like to go from a normal life to being mega rich/popular. Music stories tend to be inspiring because they can happen to anyone. You have to have the drive and conviction to make it happen as there will always be many opportunities to give up midway.

Overall, Selena is a film that should teach you a good amount about the person behind the songs. If you’re more interested in her actually singing then this might not be the perfect film for you. They definitely chose to focus on her life story more than her musical career. You still do get to hear the main songs though so ultimately there is still a balance. How much you enjoy the film will ultimately depend on how engaging you find her story to be. This isn’t really my kind of film but it seemed like they did a good job of going through the big events.

Child’s Play (1972) Review

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It’s time for a film with a lot of suspense as you know something strange is going on but you don’t know exactly what it is. Well, it definitely succeeds in being a rather eery film with the kind of atmosphere that is hard to match nowadays. That said, the resolution isn’t particularly satisfying and just about all of the characters have to consistently drop the ball in order for the film’s events to play out in this way. It makes you wish that some real adults would show up already.

The film starts off by showing us that the children in a local Catholic School have all gone absolutely crazy. They are terrorizing each other and the events are only escalating. In particular they all seem to dislike one teacher, Malley who is infamously known as Lash. The guy is a really harsh teacher, someone who demands absolute respect and holds the kids to a high standard. Another teacher named Dobbs is always saying that he wants Malley to go easier on the boys but the guy refuses. Meanwhile Malley mentions that e is being harassed a whole lot as well as his sickly mother. He blames it all on Dobbs while Dobbs says that he is crazy. Meanwhile an alumni named Paul shows up to be the new gym teacher but really doesn’t know what he is getting into.

There’s a mix of supernatural elements here as well as a more practical enemy. It’s an odd balance as you can’t totally tell where one part ends and the other begins. I assume that is intentionally left up to your interpretation. The supernatural part was also necessary because otherwise it’s just hard to believe that things would have gone this bad this quickly. There are hundreds of boys in the Catholic school and yet a huge amount of them have turned rogue. It’s all very calculated and then the victims don’t even fight back and if anything just make it easier to become the next victims. Nothing at this school really makes sense.

So that’s really a big part of the mystery that Paul needs to figure out. The guy is really out of his depth from the start though and just being away from the kids for a few minutes is enough for the next person to be turned into a victim. With speed like that, you really have to be perfect in order to prevent anything from going on. It’s an unrealistic burden that nobody can possibly live up to. And yet, that is the burden that he ultimately has to bear as long as he’s here. Honestly he should have ducked out right away but I give him bravery points for sticking it out.

He’s just not too smart about it all. Remember that at least 20 kids are going around causing these issues and attacking other students. Paul is an adult but he’s only around 20, barely older than the other students. If it becomes a 20 on 1 fight, realistically Paul won’t be able to do much of anything. Yet, he easily allows himself to be alone in an environment where there is nobody to back him up. Just no common sense there at all.

I’m also unclear why the police haven’t gotten involved. Sure, the school isn’t contacting folks, but the hospital has records and then you also have the parents who should be getting more and more vocal with how often this has been going on. By the end the situation is finally being handled but it sure took a very long while. Everyone within the school takes some blame among the faculty because they were way too lenient and slow to react.

Dobbs does his best to look like the kind teacher the whole time but does tend to lay things on a bit thick. He does a good job of always looking very concerned and only blows up on occasion. He does come off as more reasonable than Malley although that guy isn’t actually that bad. He’s strict, but never abusive or anything like that. He doesn’t lay a hand on the students and while he blasts them about their mistakes, all of the students do make a lot of mistakes. Ultimately when everyone fails like this, it does reflect most on the teacher though. So I would say he probably needs to improve on his own curriculum here.

As for all of Malley’s concerns like the terrorizing phone calls, weird magazines, etc. The main message here is to not let yourself get gaslit. When things are happening, you always have to trust yourself above all to know that it’s real no matter how many people say you’re lying. I’m a little surprised he couldn’t take a more active approach to all of this though. There is no guarantee of success for anything of course but if he had brought in physical evidence or started recording the calls or contacting the police, something could have happened. You have to disrupt the status quo at the very least. If he’s sure that Dobbs is the one doing it, then he has to do something about this or it’ll only get worse.

I would say the main thing holding the film back here is how mean spirited it could get and of course how nobody was doing anything about this. There is quite a lot of bullying going on here and since the victims can’t fight back either due to the supernatural element or full on fear, the adults had to step up. Every time they have a meeting with 0 results you have to shake your head. It felt like a film where the ending had no real hope from the beginning. So it’s like you’re on a slow ride to dark end with no hope of getting out in sight. Doesn’t quite make for the most enjoyable kind of experience right?

Overall, Not every film has a happy ending and a horror film makes that even more likely. How good these films will be can usually e boiled down to how solid the characters are and if you felt like there was at least some hope along the way. Some point where you could be having fun during the movie. That’s never really the case here and while there are several teachers, they all tend to be rather useless when it counts. The movie is very much a slow burner but when the characters are helpless to stop the impending evil, it’s not the most effective approach. If you like really sinister kinds of films with this atmosphere then you may enjoy this one but ultimately while it is a step above the average slasher kind of film, I still wouldn’t call it a good horror title.

Overall 3/10

Disaster on the Coastline Review

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It’s time for a film about the dangers of technology. A bit ahead of its time perhaps but the message still works really well today. Technology is something that will always present a whole lot of issues to everyone around and this one is no exception. When you throw in the rogue human element, then things get even worse. This makes for a pretty solid thriller film with quite a lot of players involved although ultimately a lot of the plot does revolve around some characters being really gullible/naive.

The film starts off by explaining that the vice president’s wife will be taking a train since the planes are currently on strike. As a result the government wants to be extra sure that the ride goes smoothly and they send one of their operatives to wait by the central computer base where all trains and their connections are monitored. The team is annoyed to have him there but they will have to make do. What they don’t realize is that the driver of the train has been knocked out and replaced with a terrorist. Meanwhile a big time con man has escaped onto the train as well and is using an annoyed lady as his cover. All of the characters will soon be colliding.

Now I have to say that for most of the film I figured the thief was in cahoots with the terrorist. I figured he was the inside man who would be ready with distractions as necessary but in the end it was all separate. Stuart really is just trying to avoid the people he swindled and that’s why he is being so shady. Now the romance probably still should not have worked even with the relationship dramas that Paula was having but anytime someone is quickly ready to have a beer, that is a red flag. Now to be clear, the guy was cheating on her first and while she didn’t know this for a fact, the signs were there.

So you can see her wanting to find something new but this still ends up being a rebound. She also knows from the jump that Stuart isn’t an honest man. So that’s a bit of a snag in a relationship because how does she know he will be honest about that? Trust is the biggest part of any relationship and so if you don’t have that, then it seems to me that everything else will be moot right? A train ride just isn’t long enough for this to be ready for a serious relationship even with the dramatic ending. So this part didn’t feel earned.

Meanwhile the actual terrorist has things be a little too easy. For example he has to convince the other driver on the second car not to listen to everyone telling him to stop which is what will ensure that the two trains collide into each other. To a degree his excuses make sense which is that everyone else is a terrorist trying to trip him or a civilian held at gunpoint. However, the terrorist says that the helicopters outside are here to support him and you have people waving and telling the guy to slam on the brakes. I don’t know how they could have been more clear about the instructions and he still kept on going straight. That was real lucky for the villain.

It should have been curtains right there. Additionally the thief should have been out of luck right away when Paula found the briefcase with the stolen money in it. There would be no reason to aid a villain at this point in time. So both villains were really lucky all the way. Well, luck aside it does make for a pretty tense scenario. The film did a good job with the mounting danger and ho the various characters were all starting to panic.

The writing is solid with a lot of good dialogue the whole time. Even when the computer guys are arguing with the FBI agent, they manage to stay rather civil and aren’t immediately resorting to personal attacks or anything like that. It does eventually come up of course but they are mainly focused on the threat at hand which is the important thing. The blame game and everything else can happen later on.

Then you also have a subplot where corporate actually looks pretty good for once. A CEO is put into a tricky spot when the terrorist gets his company involved and the guy is quick to take charge of the situation. He could have just ignored the situation or given a generic public statement but he prioritized the lives on the train the whole way through. Even once the cameras were off, he prepared the next steps on the investigation because he actually cares about justice. You don’t always see that so it was a pretty nice moment.

In the end I would say the movie as a whole did a good job of trying to show the brighter side of humanity. When the chips were down, everyone stood up to do their best. From the Con-Man risking his life (Not like he had a ton of options though) to the snobbish FBI agent forcing himself to play nice with the technicians, everyone was trying to do their best to resolve the situation. Some films take a jaded view of humanity while others lean on the positive and the latter can certainly be refreshing at times.

Overall, This was a pretty good movie. For the most part it’s what I would consider to be a fairly low key thriller. Yes, the stakes are as high as ever and people could die but everyone involved is a professional. You’re not seeing the same level of panic as what you would see in a modern version of this story. That would be in a completely different level without a doubt. I’d recommend this to anyone looking for a good story. It’s a well balanced movie with a solid beginning, middle, and ending. It’s the complete package.

Overall 7/10

Live and Let Die Review

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It’s time for another James Bond adventure. The Bond films do tend to be on the weaker side next to other secret agent kind of films but occasionally they end up surprising you. Unfortunately this is not one of those times. The film can be rather out there at times which is a nice change of pace for the series but it still does run into every one of the usual issues. As a result, it’s a film that won’t end up ranking all that high for you and instead will leave you hoping that the next one will be better.

The movie starts with some secret agents getting bumped off with ease so James Bond is called back into action once more. His mission is to go to New York and find out what is going on. There are ties to the New Orleans overlord Kananga who is head of a rather powerful operation. Something that could even end up overpowering M16. If Bond doesn’t stop this conspiracy soon, it’ll be all over for humanity.

One funny thing about this film is how Bond is 2 steps behind the villains at every turn. EACH TIME Bond thinks he has a lead or is about to get the drop on the villains, we find out that they were aware of it the entire time. He is captured numerous times and has to be bailed out on many occasions. Only luck and plot armor are enough to keep him safe during all of this. You’d be forgiven for thinking that Bond was a total amateur in this adventure.

Bond walks into a villain stronghold with no plan and so he is immediately defeated. Another time he sits down at their restaurant and falls into a trap. He falls into the same trap a second time later. These are only a few of his missteps. The villains really should have just bumped him off at that point but they do love their theatrics.

The villains also have the arrogance of not keeping their fortune teller Solitaire guarded at all times. She has the special ability to read the future so long as she never gets intimate with a man. Bond’s whole thing is that he has no moral compass when it comes to love but even if the villains didn’t know that, why wouldn’t her house constantly be guarded? How are you a pivotal player in a giant terrorist racket and yet you just go back to your home like it’s nothing after a mission? This naturally ends up in disaster for the villains.

Solitaire isn’t a particularly good heroine though as she relies too much on the cards. She allows them to completely dictate her destiny and yes, even her love life. The cards are also total trolls since they gave her an answer that would mean losing her powers no matter how you slice it. So in a way you could say that she never had any real chance of winning here. There is another heroine named Rosie who isn’t particularly likable either. Another easy score for Bond and someone who never really gets to prove her skills on the field.

It’s no wonder why all the other agents are constantly dying. Bond seems to e the only capable one around. That’s also a pretty sad thing since as this film shows, he isn’t all that great. He’s distracted too easily by women an doesn’t know how to avoid any traps. He is not the kind of guy that you want to rely on to save you. It’s just not going to work out very well in your favor.

The humor in the film can be pretty decent at times. When a character named Sheriff Pepper shows up, the film briefly becomes a full on comedy. The change in tone is rather dramatic but it works out well. The chase scene may be a bit too drawn out but it was nice to see the sheriff show up to yell at everybody. He really had a lot of confidence and so it made it easy for you to root for him.

I also appreciated the laughing villain who seemed to have some real supernatural abilities. He was tough to deal with and just kept on coming after Bond. This film delving into the supernatural like that also helped to increase the stakes, it’s just a shame that the villains couldn’t have been more entertaining otherwise. I also don’t really care about the tribe subplot with all the snakes. I did enjoy the New Orleans parade that would be used to bump off the heroes without anybody suspecting anything. That was a scene that I thought was actually super clever and both times it was used was really effective.

So if the Bond films could just stay away from the consistently terrible romances there might actually be something here. Have him act a little more professional. Meanwhile the opening credits song should be used more for total hype than for the fanservice. The songs sometimes aren’t even all that bad themselves but the images will have you cringing. The writing for the film isn’t all that bad either but everyone feels a little too easy. It’s at its best when the film is trying to be about the secret agent stuff. The gag where the driver was in on the whole trick was really good. That was an effective moment without a doubt and one of the big twists about the villain was also good. I would just say that for large portions of the film it didn’t feel like there was a ton of plot here. Certainly less so than in other films because this one got so ambitious with everything going on that it wasn’t always focused.

Overall, Live and Let Die is not one of Bond’s better films. It still has all the fanservice and one night affairs as the older films but without a lot of cool villains or action scenes to try and combat that. In fact, don’t expect Bond to be doing much of any fighting for most of this title. It can be funny to see Bond losing just about every encounter he does have without even putting up a fight but the actual plot isn’t nearly as interesting as it could have been. Ultimately this is a huge demerit to the film. I would recommend checking out some of the latest Bond films instead of this one. It simply doesn’t age well.

Overall 4/10

Riders of Destiny Review

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It’s time for one of those westerns where the main character has a reputation already. His name is Singing Sandy and I have to say that it leads up to one of the best western scenes. We have Sandy start singing as he walks towards his opponent and it felt like a Baki meme moment where everyone suddenly starts putting together who he is. The singing is just that distinctive and it was a nice touch to the film. I feel like this one would have otherwise been a lot more forgettable.

This is one of those titles where the villains are the mustache twirling types. They’re not subtle at all and basically just run over the town because there is nobody around who is actually ready to fight back. They probably should have been taken out a long time ago if the townsfolk were actually prepared for a battle and were willing to move forward. Instead they’re all doormats until Sandy shows up. I know sometimes all you need is one hero to come in and turn the tides but it does make the town look rather weak the whole time. You get the feeling that they would lose to the next gang that strolls by if Sandy ever leaves. Maybe he could teach a bunch of them about better quick draw techniques or something.

The film does make a key mistake that I haven’t seen in a minute though which is that the villains go after a horse early on and end up murdering it. You don’t really see this much beyond the horse falling but it still adds a negative vibe to the movie. They could have easily skipped that and then things would have worked out a bit better. I also think Sandy should have just taken the two crooks out at that point instead of running off. Sandy’s one of the best shots in the west and we see this in action later on. So why not just finish them off there? Would have made way more sense and saved him a lot of time.

The film has a good amount of action going on so you won’t be bored. Another solid byproduct of the runtime is that the pacing is always really good because the film is so quick. Not like there is much time for the film to drag on when it’s less than an hour long right? The romance still feels a bit rushed but that’s par for the course in these kinds of movie. The westerns always gotta squeeze in a romance somewhere even if it has no business being in the film. I guess it just works towards the wholesome ending.

Singing Sandy certainly gets to enjoy a lot of banter with the villains using his passive aggressive nature so that’s always fun. So while I would prefer an active approach, it can always be entertaining. You just have to consider the circumstance which is that the main villain owns all of the water except for the well that the heroine’s dad owns. He is trying to get that land for a full monopoly and in the meantime is ripping off all the townsfolk. Why bother playing nice with the villains at that point?

Just take them out and the town will be happy. The farmers grumble a whole lot the whole film but don’t do anything about it. This guy is going to drain them dry and eventually they’d die while being homeless. The tolerance just goes too far to crazy proportions.

It’s also different from other westerns in that the power gap doesn’t feel crazy. There are a ton of farmers running around and only a few villains in comparison. So it seems to me that it would be an easy thing for the farmers to band together instead of their daily meetings waiting for the government to send someone to help.

In short, most of the side characters almost feel like NPCs here. Even the main heroine randomly asks her father if he’s going to give into the villain’s demands after a speech and he just reminders her that (like he said about 10 minutes ago) they will be fighting against the villain to the very end.

I’ll end on a positive though that the duel between Sandy and the main villain’s top hired gun was actually really good. The singing was handled perfectly like I mentioned in the intro and there was a lot of drama here and then the lethal gunfight. Sandy’s confidence also shone through which is part of what made him a great main character. The only character who was really a good fighter.

Overall, This film probably ends up blending in with a lot of the other western titles but ultimately I would say it’s not bad. The singing angle does at least help to make it stand out a little bit. I wouldn’t say the songs/music are all that good to be honest but they do fit in with the genre at least. You hear the song and immediately think of a western film so that part is effective. Now if the film could have just had some better villains we would really be set.

Overall 6/10

Braveheart

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This write-up below is based on the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a write-up for the unedited version of the film would be more negative

It’s time for one of those old war time epics. Get ready for 3 hours of violence and armies colliding. It’s definitely not my kind of film but it’s tough to do this kind of title in general since I’m not a big fan of the old days and wars usually aren’t my thing either. So mix these in together along with max edginess and it comes as no surprise that this would not be one of my top recommendations. If you aren’t too familiar with the war then this is a decent way to learn about it although you might also want to check out a book on the subject.

The film starts by showing us how England violently captured Scotland and began to put barbaric laws on them. They did their best to completely break their spirits and kept on murdering all of the greatest warriors. Well, one day they murder William’s wife and so he decides to finally fight back. He gets some people together and destroys a bunch of soldiers. After that he begins to win more and more fights to the point where a war may actually be something he can pursue. It won’t be easy as they are extremely outnumbered but if he keeps on chipping away then at least he will be closer to a free Scotland.

The movie’s length certainly allows it to build up a lot of the characters over time and then also set you up for betrayals. It’s the kind of movie where you really can’t trust anyone. Most people can be bought for some price or threatened with something or someone that they value more than their life. It’s not enough to just assume your friends will be with you at all times. Then Scotland itself isn’t 100% united either. You have a bunch of characters all with their own goals and ambitions. Some think that they should stop fighting while they are ahead and cut a deal, others want to make a play for power, etc. It makes things really tough on William since he has to deal with drama on two fronts.

Additionally, England made clear in the opening scene that they could not be trusted. So, it sounds like a really bad idea to William when England asks for peace and some people actually entertain it. It shows that some people just don’t learn and will keep on falling for the same tricks over and over again. Not a very impressive moment there. Still, they press on and keep fighting over and over in all of the battles that appear.

The movie is pretty direct about what it’s going for here. You’re going to have loads and loads of fights and it’s going to be very violent. A lot of films at least try to spare the horse but unfortunately not this one. There are a lot of them getting stabbed and murdered amidst all the fighting. The animal violence is through the roof here and of course so is the human violence. It’s all very graphic and detailed, then you’ve got the sheer volume of it which is another story as well. It all adds up to a rather relentless film.

Film based on real life also don’t tend to be able to give you a super happy ending either since that’s not how things usually go. There will be a whole lot of sacrifice and setbacks. Often times the main player doesn’t get to see the ending himself either. This film is no exception although it tries to make the ending as light as possible. It’s a cold comfort to those who are already in the grave but at least it’s something.

I’d say the only way to save a film like this would have been to have cut out a lot of the details. We don’t need to see every grisly death or see every barbaric law placed on the Scottish people. It certainly sets up the rage that they felt but that kind of negative feedback loop doesn’t make for a very fun viewing experience. This is the kind of film that doesn’t have very many happy moments at all since they all inevitably get tainted by the scenes that will be following them shortly afterwards. Death is always right around the corner here.

Although if you play a lot of Fire Emblem, you will have a good time recognizing all of the war terms. In those games you always have to decide where to carefully place your archers, infantry, and calvary. The movie also deals a lot with tactics and that is usually where the Scottish people had the big edge. They were able to outmaneuver the big armies and their endless supply of men with really good strategies. In a war, strategy is absolutely key on any battlefield. A single mistake will cost a whole lot of troops.

Overall, If you are definitely okay with all of the crazy violence here then you might like Braveheart. After all, that is 90% of what’s going on in this film anyway. If you are not big on violence, well then you’re probably watching the wrong film. History is often dark and violent. So many crazy things went on that it can be hard to fathom. At the same time, that can be said of the current days as well. There is always a lot going on around the world here as well. Not a minute goes by on Earth without a tragedy going on and watching this film gives you a way to see into some of that.

Earth Girls Are Easy Review

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It’s time for a rather rough romantic comedy. This is the kind of film that comes to mind for most people who aren’t really into the genre. It’s super cheesy and none of the characters are likable. The romance is super rushed and the whole film will make you cringe a whole lot. There just isn’t much here to really enjoy. I appreciate that the film is really having fun messing around here and there is a lot of energy to the film but unfortunately it never quite makes the leap to being good.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Valerie who is currently in a rather frustrating relationship with Ted. He seems to have grown bored of her and pays her 0 mind whenever he is around. She doesn’t realize that he’s been cheating on her for a while now but ends up catching him in the act. She kicks him out and is wondering what to do next when she ends up bumping into a trio of aliens who crash landed in her pool. The main one is named Mac and he quickly takes a liking to her. Well, all 3 are desperate for a girl and like her but Mac ends up being the only one with a serious sideplot. Will Valerie rebound with this alien or will she take Ted back?

I would say the first problem here is how much of a doormat Valerie is. She catches Ted cheating on her and then all it takes is a few nice words from him and she is ready to take him back again? Just a really bad look on her part. You’ll be shaking your head the whole time. This happens multiple times mind you. He yells at her about how the wedding is off and makes a huge scene with the cops…then he acts nice and she takes him back yet again. It’s just such a bad romance.

Of course the goal is to make Ted look as shallow and fake as possible, but the problem is the way that it was executed also makes Valerie look really bad. It’s a lose lose situation as a result and that’s the real problem here. They should have had her not take him back at all and throughout the film he is trying to win her over/take down the aliens. That would have made a lot more sense and wouldn’t have destroyed Valerie’s character as well.

Additionally, the rebound with the alien also doesn’t do her character any favors because it seems like she just doesn’t really know what she wants. She’ll basically take any guy who will give her attention and that’s not how you write a good main character. Her best friend is also able to easily influence her, so it further shows that Valerie doesn’t really have a whole lot of strength of will. She can just be blown away by the tide. That’s true for most of the girls in this film to be honest so it’s not like any of them looked all that good. Her best friend was nice enough but certainly not responsible in the slightest. The kind of person who will always get you into trouble because none of the fun is really planned ahead. The friend just goes off of vibes and instinct which is a recipe for disaster.

The aliens are unfortunately annoying as well. The film decides to go the route of their being brainless. The problem is that this doesn’t really make sense since in the initial scene they seemed normal. Desperate of course since they were talking about girls right from the jump but at least they did have some reason. Once they crash land, they may as well be mindless brutes with how they play around with all of the objects. Them not knowing Earth customs is one thing but they didn’t know anything. They eat Valerie’s fish, make a mess of the whole house, etc. They were super annoying and naturally this meant they were on my bad side from the start.

The film actually tries to give Mac a serious romance plot as well which will also have you shaking your head. It just doesn’t make any kind of sense. The ending is trying to be wholesome but you can’t take it seriously and that is how the whole film plays out. None of the jokes are particularly funny. The only thing I can really say in the film’s defense is that it has quick pacing. There is always a lot going on and it’s not like you are ever going to get bored.

On the flip side, the film does resort to fanservice very often. It’s clear that the writers were not super confident in their own product so they had to go low-brow for most of the film. It feels like a Charlie’s Angels experience at times. Not a good recipe for easy laughs, if anything it just shows you how desperate the film is. It certainly did not win the movie any points and by this part of the film, it’s not like it could really afford to lose any either. All around, a rough time here.

Overall, While the review may sound harsh, this movie just tripped into all of the possible issues it could land on with a rom-com like this. The most important thing you have to do in order to make this film a success is to be funny and unfortunately this one was not funny. The next most important step is to at least have a decent romance and we didn’t get that either. This is the kind of movie that serves as a warning on what not to do in this kind of experience. I would definitely recommend you to stick away from this film, especially if you disagree with the film’s title. I guess if you believe it, the film makes a strong case for this though. The aliens have every girl wanting to be with them even though they can barely talk or do anything. It makes all of the girls in this film look really shallow.

Overall 3/10

Puppet Master II Review

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The Puppet Master is one of those films where you know it’s going to be bad right out of the gate. The question becomes, just how bad is it really? If it’s only normal levels of bad then it could be a lot worse but if it’s terrible like the first film then you’re in trouble. Well, I can safely say that this one is in the terrible category. There isn’t much good to say about the film and ultimately it doesn’t justify the purpose of having a sequel in the first place. There aren’t really any new ideas and once again the characters are all losing to a bunch of tiny puppets. A true skill issue if you think about it.

After the events of the first film, the puppets go and bring the original Puppet Master back to life. Unfortunately this guy has now become looney after his death and thinks that the reincarnated version of his wife is here. We then cut to a bunch of researchers who are at the murder house to find out if psychic phenomenon is real or not. The psychic they hire definitely thinks that this is the real deal and prepares to leave but gets bumped off by the puppets. The rest of the group are also in danger now and may be picked off as well if they can’t find a way to take these puppets down. Can they actually defeat them though?

Now one thing you have to remember is that the puppets are not very powerful. They are small and weak, while also lacking any kind of true offensive capabilities. All they can really do is rely on sneak attacks. There is one exception, which is the Darth Vader looking puppet which has an active flamethrower. With this firepower it can easily destroy any opponent. Whenever a human would lose to this guy I would them a little slack. The other puppets are all much weaker though so you should be able to defeat them rather easily. Even the flamethrower isn’t too tough if you are expecting it, but the real tricky thing is if you don’t know that the weapon exists in the first place. In that case, it is definitely fair to fall beneath its overwhelming might.

The humans are all rather unlikable once again though so that’s a shame. In some ways they may not be as bad as the psychics from the first film who were all really looney but these guys can’t manage to stay focused for long either. There is a lot of flirting right out of the gate and the main characters don’t really know how to stick together against the villains. As soon as the first puppet is found (shortly after murdering someone) they should have all been on high alert. Yet, they still split up a lot.

A very mysterious guy in bandages shows up and while the heroes think he is weird, they are not overly concerned. This is now a murder scene so surely anyone who claims to live here should be a massive suspect right? I dare say that a citizen’s arrest should even be in order here. Don’t give this guy any kind of freedom or you will end up regretting it later on. The characters here aren’t the brightest but at least they aren’t actively tying each other up like in the first film so that is some progress.

A big problem that they all make it taking too long though. Like when the psychic finds out that the place is evil, she doesn’t immediately leave and instead plans to go either late at night or in the morning. Plenty of time for the puppets to take her down and unfortunately, she was unable to put up enough of a struggle to get the others involved.

Then you have the next door neighbors who are rather mean for no reason. The lady does pretty well for a little while there but then of course she ends up getting overconfident and makes a big speech before going down. This is the kind of film where you know that resistance is futile and so it does take away from the struggles. While that may be true for a lot of horror films, it is the movie’s job to try and get you to feel like there is at least some kind of chance. If you don’t think that there is any chance…well that takes the fun out of it right?

As you can expect, most of the murders are rather violent. Since the puppets are small, it takes a lot of hits to finish off the main characters and usually that means the kills are really dragged out. You’re just waiting for the film to mov on to something a bit more creative but it doesn’t happen. That’s because the movie isn’t trying to do anything too creative or subversive. It’s just going through the motions in a rather soulless way. No quality writing to help you out here.

I think if the series wants to have any chance of being better, it needs to move beyond the house in the next film. Yes, we had the next door neighbors up the road, but that barely counts and naturally the cattle started dying for the main villain’s plans which didn’t help matters. Have the puppets go into the city and then we get a war against the army. Sure it would be rather campy but that’s the case for the main movie as well. At least this could give the film some entertainment value because as it is now, it’s not even funny.

Overall, This is your average slasher from start to finish. It’s really violent with most of the characters existing only to get bumped off. It was nostalgic seeing some of the puppets from the first film but it’s not like they have grown much stronger since then. It’s still hard to take them seriously as villains at all. The whole time you are just shaking your head. I would definitely recommend giving this one a skip. There is no real reason you need to watch this movie and I doubt the sequels are really going to raise the bar all that much anyway.

Overall 2/10

The Lawless Frontier Review

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It’s time for the return of John Wayne. He is riding with a vengeance this time as he arrives to really turn the tides in a tricky situation. It’s a pretty good all around title with a memorable main villain as well as a decent supporting cast. It ends up being one of the better John Wayne films. He’s had so many that you will probably still end up mixing them around a bit as the years go on but I can say that they did a good job with this one.

The film starts by introducing us to a legendary crook known as Pandro. He’s masquerading as a mexican and is so infamous that the guy is worth $5000 dead or alive. He also bumps off John’s father so he is now on the lookout for revenge. This crook decides to target a local girl named Ruby and so her father takes her into town to be safe. John knows that this is now his chance to take Pandro down but the tricky thing is that the local sheriff isn’t particularly smart and may end up getting in the way. How can John defeat the villains while being limited by his own allies?

I did like the fact that the sheriff was generally incompetent the whole time but still talking a big game. It makes for a fun character to have around and also made sure John’s job wasn’t too easy. This guy doesn’t even know how to properly secure his prisoners which becomes a problem later on. I half blame John too since he knew this wasn’t a good lock but decides to take a nap anyway. It’s still on the sheriff of course but John probably should have just stayed up. If not for the sheriff’s meddaling, we do see that John makes short work of Pandro in all of their encounters. Pandro is just completely out of his depth and isn’t that durable either. John easily knocks him out the first time and in the second instance the domination is even more extreme.

Despite all of that, you will at least remember Pandro because there was actually some depth to his character. He wasn’t just a random villain with a gun. He actually had a gimmick with the whole disguise part and was very over the top. It’s a way to ensure you don’t forget him and so I give the movie a whole lot of credit there. It would have been easy to have just made him generic or something like that.

As for the heroine Ruby, she was okay but did find herself constantly getting into trouble. Not much she could do about falling into the lake but it would have been nice to have seen her learning how to shoot or something. I feel like growing up in the wild west should make everyone learn how to use a gun quickly because you never know when you might need it. There are villains lurking around every corner after all.

Her father Dusty did a good job of playing defense though. His plan to outwit Pandro and his gang was pretty good and he also came in clutch during the climax. He’s the kind of guy who never gives up. Meanwhile John is a good hero as you would expect. Very down to business and is always ready to lend a helping hand. He’s the exact kind of hero that you want on your side when you are in a situation like this.

The soundtrack is very familiar if you’ve been watching the other John Wayne films in this series. They always use the same tunes over and over again but fortunately they are always very good. Nothing to really dislike about them at least. They are dramatic, if a bit overbearing. I’ll always take that over the music being too low or being generic. They don’t really make soundtracks like this anymore.

The pacing is good and the writing is on point. This is a very simple film that nails the fundamentals and that is always the right way to go about things. I don’t really have any issues here. Even though the film is very short, it still manages to cover a whole lot of ground. Even after the climax is seemingly over, the film is able to squeeze another one in right afterwards. Now that is absolutely impressive.

I’m thinking the movie did that because the initial climax actually doesn’t have much action. We get a long walking sequence and then the villain ends up poisoning himself. It actually works well as a real twist of what the climax would usually be like, but I could see some people being upset at that which is why it would make a whole lot of sense to try and get around that. Throwing in a more standard kind of climax works well there and also matches the tone of the intro scene more. The film literally starts off with a big gunfight after all so you want to end with something a little more up to that speed.

Overall, If you like a good western then this is a good film to check out. The action scenes are on point and the movie is not afraid to hit you hard with the soundtrack. John makes for a good character and the dialogue is solid from start to finish. It’s a charming film with no real weaknesses and that’s part of why the Wayne films have so much replay value. You can watch them at any time and expect to enjoy yourself. In a way the films could stand to be longer but perhaps that would break the balance of the movies. In which case, this would actually be the perfect amount.

Overall 7/10

In From The Night Review

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It’s time for another really dramatic Hallmark title and I’m afraid to say that this one is going a bit too far into the dramatic territory. They make the kid a little too unlikable for most of the film and there isn’t much room for resolutions when even with 20 minutes left in the film we’re still dealing with issues. It takes too long to arrive at the happy ending which is a problem that drama films tend to have at some points. It needed to lighten up a bit.

The movie starts by introducing us to Vicky who has been working on a book for 10 years but has serious writer’s block. She has finally been invited to a really prestigious author’s retreat though where she will be paired with an experienced mentor. The only thing she wasn’t counting on was her nephew Bobby showing up unannounced. He seems to have had a tough time of things as he can barely speak and suffers from large nightmares. Vicky needs to find a way to help him but this could end up destroying her career. What can she do?

The film definitely lays out how it can be difficult to navigate the family circumstances here. For starters, Bobby’s parents were insane from the jump and were never fit to be parents. At one point it got so bad that the rest of the family had to show up and take Bobby out of there but eventually they returned and took him back. Many years passed and the damage was done but the parents can still come back at any time. Vicky knows good and well that the parents will have the edge in any custody case so she has to be careful not to provide Bobby with any false hope while trying to keep him safe.

The time factor is also difficult as Bobby is nearly at college age so when you’re dealing with years of abuse, it’s not like you can fix it in an instant. Vicky does her best though and from the start I would say she handles it well. She quickly consults with a lawyer to deal with the legal stuff and on the family level she also makes sure to work on the resources that she has on hand with helping him feel comfortable at her place. When getting him to other nice relatives doesn’t work, she is quick to take him back to her home.

So I have no issues with Vicky. She’s a great lead character. The romance plot perhaps moves a little too quickly with the other author but the film doesn’t dwell on that much at least. Then we have Bobby where unfortunately most of my issues go. Obviously he’s been through a whole lot of abuse so it’s expected that he will be a bit off. He doesn’t have many social cues and makes his share of mistakes in terms of not knowing what to do. That is all fine, but where my issues come in is where he makes a bunch of friends with the wrong crowd. It just didn’t add up to me that he let a bunch of randoms crash at his place. You’d think that would just make him feel even more uncomfortable.

Then he lets them trash the place and also plays loud rock music at times. It’s lucky that there were no close neighbors to cause a problem. It felt like this just didn’t have an obvious correlation with what he endured as a kid so I didn’t know why he was acting out like this. I would have expected him to be really quiet or something which would make sense but standing out in all of these ways just felt weird. It takes him a long while to finally get back into control. So long that we’re at the end of the film by then.

That leads to another issue which is that the film doesn’t have much time for happy scenes. The movie is basically over by this point and so the film definitely lived up to the drama subplot but there isn’t a whole lot else. As a result, the film just isn’t a whole lot of fun to watch and certainly has no replay value. I would have cut out the plot with all the random toxic friends and probably would have removed the rock music as well. Have him be really quiet until Vicky is able to break through to him.

That just seems like it would make the most sense. I also think the subplot with his parents could have been handled better. Vicky’s mother continues to believe that they aren’t that bad and that Vicky should talk to them while Vicky wants nothing to do with them. Vicky has the correct position, especially after we see what they did with Bobby. The film awards too much sympathy to the father where he is broken down by the end and wants Vicky to talk to his wife. There is just no way that should ever happen and I also don’t give the father any slack here. He could have stopped the abuse at any point if he wanted to and yet he did nothing. He’s really just as guilty here.

I would have preferred if Vicky had just told him to get lose and reaffirmed that she would never see the wife again. Both of them just seem absolutely crazy and are well past the point of no return. Yeah they’ve got serious issues but they’re adults and could have taken steps to correct this. The instant they went after their son and gave him such a rough upbringing, the idea of any sympathy towards them was completely gone.

Overall, In from the Night is a film about how tough it can be to rebuild a life once it has been thoroughly broken down. It’s a film that is tackling a rather tough subject. I wouldn’t say it tackles the subject super well though and definitely stumbles to the finish line. There are a lot of things I would change with this film but ultimately the best thing to do is probably to skip it. This one isn’t going to hold a candle to the average Hallmark film. Those tend to be a lot more fun and have the right balance that this one lacks. This one is just too dreary for most of its run.

Overall 3/10