Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

High Cost of Loving Review

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It’s time for a classic romantic comedy title. It’s a fun enough film that has a nice plot. I would say the film restrains itself a bit too much at times and could have really drummed up the craziness of it all a bit more. Still, it’s an easy film for me to recommend to anyone and it’s fairly short so things tend to move fast.

The film starts off by introducing us to Jim and Ginny who have a really good marriage going on. They have no real problems and Ginny is finally pregnant after nearly a decade so they are ready for fun. The only problem is that Jim’s job has been taken over by a new company and they might be letting some people go. When almost everybody except for Jim gets an invite to a luncheon, he figures that this is game over. Should he talk things over with the bosses and see what’s going on…or should he crash out? Time for Jim’s toughest call!

Now a lot of this film does rely on Jim not making the smartest choices time and time again. He jumps to conclusions quite regularly and doesn’t put himself in a position to succeed. It’s a story that we have all seen many times before but it can be pretty funny. I would have liked for things to have been more extreme like I mentioned in the intro though. Like one misunderstanding that worked super well is when someone jokes with Jim that he won’t be ordering the boxes because he might mess it up. The guy was just having some fun and Jim didn’t pick up on it because he was so stressed.

Beyond that, we don’t have a ton of big misunderstandings going on though. So a lot of it is Jim really just overthinking things and I feel like it’s because the film wanted to stay very grounded. You could have really had it both ways in this case though. Also Jim does look pretty bad throughout because of how callous he was when the shoe was on the other foot. At the beginning of the film he talks quite happily about how some guys will get fired and that’s just how life works. He talks a lot about survival of the fittest and all of that. It makes it ever so slightly harder to root for him here because you know first hand that he would not really care if someone else was fired.

He took his safe standing within the company for granted to the point where he didn’t even imagine not having the job. It’s why his friend Steve is comfortable about joking how he would be super depressed and end it all if he was fired. Nothing wrong with the jokes but then you have to be able to take it when you’re the one going down. Instead Jim was super defensive and panicking the whole time. It just didn’t do wonders to make him likable and then of course when he’s frustrated he is very quick to start taking it out on his wife. Being snappy, irritated, etc.

Jim doesn’t talk about things until it is forced out of him and it’s jut such a standard move but it is always a character killer. You can’t be so close to someone and then immediately still get so upset like that. He needed to talk things over and calm down. Ginny is also shown to be super reasonable the whole time so it’s not like there was any risk of her being upset. There was no downside to talking things out with her instead of straining everything like when he wasn’t acting very concerned about her pregnancy results coming out negative.

His friend Steve seemed a lot more reasonable and was a good guy to the end. He prevented Jim from making any career destroying decisions the whole time. His wife Syd may have been someone who just wouldn’t start talking but at least she wasn’t actually trying to cause harm. So I won’t really dock her any points there. She meant well and of course this goes back to how the characters don’t mind smack talking everyone except when it effects them. The double standards are where things really start to get dicey.

If there are any other main issues here, it can be that you feel like there should have been another angle to the film. Either make the jokes a bit bigger like I mentioned or introduce another plot. Even though the film isn’t all that long, it feels like there isn’t anywhere for it to really go. So it’s a serviceable film but not a super memorable one. It’s nice to see a married couple without too much drama but in the meantime their scenes tend to be a little on the boring side. Showing how close they are in the opening also backfires because of how easy we see Jim turn on her later on. You may as well cut out the intro at that point.

I did like the fact that Jim’s immediate boss had his back. Often times in these things it feels like the main character is on his own throughout management but since he was such a good worker, it makes sense that some people would have his back. It would have been annoying if the boss was just looking out for himself or something like that. The top executives were also pretty solid. They asked the hard questions and pressed Jim a little. They did seem really good at their jobs and it’s not like they take joy in letting anyone go. They are just doing their jobs and doing them well. This is an example of a movie that didn’t really have an antagonist but ultimately didn’t need one anyway.

Overall, High Cost of Loving is a good film. It hits enough of the right notes to skate on by and it’s one that you could easily watch because it’s just light entertainment. It has good replay value in that way. It does reinforce why you should always have proper communication channels open with everyone. If you don’t, then it opens the door for misunderstandings and panic. Also, perhaps keep the jokes to a minimum if you would be upset if the same thing happened to you.

Overall 6/10

Best of the Best Review

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I’m always up for a good martial arts film. Mix that in with a tournament and that sounds like the recipe for a really good movie. Unfortunately this one doesn’t spend as much time in the tournament as I would have liked. The drama starts to take over instead which isn’t super bad or anything but I wanted more action. The characters could have used some more work too. So it’s a good film instead of being very good.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Grady who suffered a huge shoulder injury a long time ago. This has prevented him from being more involved in tournaments and such. He still knows how to fight but his life feels unfulfilled. Well, one day he gets an invitation to be a part of the USA selections for the big global match against South Korea. Against the advice of his mother, Grady enters and he is selected to be one of the 5 players along with Tommy, Travis, Virgil, and Sonny. Can the 5 of them really defeat the South Koreans though? These guys have been training their whole lives and have unbelievable amounts of power after all. Also one good hit to his weak shoulder and that will be it for Grady.

So right off the bat we do have a good set up here. It’s a classic battle although I would have liked a full tournament bracket instead of it just being two teams of 5. So the first half is really about training, then we get some drama and the fights happen in the climax. That means that the focus of the whole movie is really about the build up and that needs to land. I would say that is a mixed bag though. What missed the most for me was that the characters would do some pretty serious things and it would be brushed aside.

A main example here is Travis. He is the hot head of the team who is constantly picking fights, insulting, and being a general nuisance. He tries picking a fight with Tommy rather late in the game and was also responsible for the big bar brawl. The guy is constantly running his mouth and going for late hits. There is nothing sportsmanlike about him. I tend to like the cocky type of fighter in a movie like this but there’s a big difference between cocky and dirty. I would argue that this guy crosses the line quite often. It was a little hard to buy into his turnaround later because all of the development was off screen.

Likewise for the main villain here. He is fighting super dirty and going for illegal hits in the final round. Then suddenly he has his big change of heart moment and all is forgiven? I just can’t really accept that and the whole ending was extremely cheesy and unsatisfying. I did not like the ending here and would have changed things quite a bit. I would say the message was not even handled well about not being too violent. One character has a way to win the match in the end and chooses to hesitate because of something that happened previously. The two circumstances are completely different though and so this was a bad look.

It does come back to how the film doesn’t handle drama so well. Tommy has a subplot about seeing someone get murdered in the ring and so he is scared to fight too hard. Nothing wrong with that, it’s a classic plot. However, all of his scenes transition into black and white to really show you how somber it all is and the film is extremely heavy handed about this even to the music. Nothing about the film is even remotely subtle. Then we get coach Frank’s origin story which also feels extremely forced and unnecessary. We should have used this time for fighting instead of expanding the sob story’s more and more.

I also thought Frank was just not a good coach. He talks super tough and tries to be in control but at the end of the day he lets the players do whatever they want. One of them storms out? No problem. One of them breaks the rules and goes home? No problem. One guy is throwing dirty blows and antagonizing the others? Eh he’ll look the other way. I would submit that Frank was just not a good coach and he was really just full of hot air. Not like the assistants were any better either though.

There’s the super nervous guy who gets pushed around and leaks documents as soon as there is any pressure. Then there’s the girl with a chip on her shoulder who does a lot of yoga and meditation. Her classes didn’t seem to really do anything and the scenes could be dragged out. I don’t think she did anything to really prove that she was needed as a coach here. Meanwhile there wasn’t time for everyone so I’d say Virgil and Sonny had the least to do from the main 5. They were likable enough though but ultimately weren’t super useful in the tournament. They just needed to fill in the 5 spots.

Now this sounds pretty negative but that’s because the film wasn’t really prepared to handle any of the non action scenes. Fortunately, we are here for the action and that part was really good. I liked the choreography and there was a consistent amount of fighting the whole time. The sound effects were really on point and it was all very fast paced. So you didn’t have too many breaks. It felt fairly realistic as well as these could be matches that you would see on TV. I just wish we got more of the fights especially since you could use that to show off all of the different fighting styles.

It was nice to see a tournament that wasn’t super corrupt or having everyone get murdered for a change though. Yeah there is still a level of danger here but it is a professional tournament. Aside from the ref being blind, it all felt above board. So I could definitely appreciate that. I’d also say the short run time helps with replay value. That said, as long as the original Mortal Kombat exists there isn’t a whole lot of reason to check this one out.

Overall, Best of the Best has a pretty fun concept and the movie should have focused on that a little more. The fact that the tournament feels more like a subplot is just a really bad look. I know on paper you probably want to have some depth but you really don’t need to force it. Sometimes it’s best to just focus on the action scenes and let those speak for themselves.

Overall 6/10

The Cobweb Review

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The Cobweb is one of those films that definitely gets real dramatic. The characters all tend to be pretty bad and so the movie spends more time spinning its wheels than necessary. You could have made a pretty good flick out of this with quality writing and a solid ensemble of characters but in the end it was not to be. By the end of the film I dare say you will be thinking that the ending should be a cliffhanger or something just for the extra drama.

The film takes place at a psychiatric institution where everyone is always at odds with each other. The main character is Dr. Stewart who uses some pretty controversial methods in how he runs the place. He has let the inmates make their own government council so they can talk directly with the heads of the facility. In that form they are able to mount complaints against things they don’t like and also participate in the decision making. The idea is that this will help them also reach a point of more stability by having this control and also learning how to deal with some stress. Everything goes wrong when the topic of window drapes comes up.

The inmates are hoping to have their local painter take care of the job. The head wants to buy professional ones to put up instead. Stewart is with the inmates, the other head of the school doesn’t particularly care, but Stewart’s wife has her own idea for professional ones. Unfortunately Stewart is basically never home so she ends up talking to someone else about this and now we have a bunch of characters who only know chunks of the story. This starts to result in all of the characters cheating on each other and using any trick necessary in order to claim victory. Will the characters manage to stay sane by the end of this?

So lets talk about each of the characters’ mistakes here. First up we have Devanal who is definitely one of the most depraved characters here. He has long since forsaken his mission to help patients get better. He basically skips all of the meetings so he can have a bunch of affairs and be drunk all the time. He makes a big push to get with Stewart’s wife as well and by the end of the movie you feel like he got off way too easily. For one thing, he is married so that makes all of this 100X worse.

It’s already pretty bad to get into a lot of flings, but once it is cheating then that is rock bottom. There’s no such thing as it being a “mistake” either as I see that around a lot. Cheating is a completely conscious decision to do the wrong thing and there’s never any way to justify that. So I had no sympathy for this guy whatsoever and he should have definitely been outed at the meeting.

Then you have the main character Stewart and unfortunately he’s just as bad. He takes his job seriously which is good but he’s always got a short fuse and started off on the wrong foot by blowing up at his wife in the early scene. He basically does nothing to stay close with her and quickly ends up cheating with a colleague. Again, no excuses are good enough for that, you’re basically throwing the whole relationship into the dirt at that point. What really hurts him at the end is that he’s eager to keep on cheating and the girl has to be the one to call it off. So you don’t take anything he takes seriously in the final scene because it wasn’t his choice to stop. That’s such a bad scenario.

Obviously I also take points away from Meg for cheating with him. It’s not just the cheater that you blame in affair but the one who agrees to participate in the act. She knows full well that he is married after all. It’s really not to hard to be loyal and if you have such extraordinarily weak willpower then the next thing is to make sure not to put yourself in bad situations. This means no drinking or hanging out with someone one on one at night. In general that’s good advice for anyone.

Then we have Stewart’s wife Karen and things don’t look good for her either. For starters she seems oblivious to basic facts of the job. She should know better than to be sneaking around the institution and opening doors when there is such a big level of privacy there. I don’t know how she would have forgotten this. Then hanging out with Devanal to spite Steven was a really bad idea. I do think she was fully aware of where that was going and so again she put herself in a bad spot. If Stewart hadn’t said anything about how he has a lot of affairs, it may have gotten even worse.

Putting up the curtains really just made the situation worse. Everyone was quick to get even and continue escalating the circumstances which was not mature in the slightest. I’m not going to knock her any points for the opening drive with Steven though because I’d say that was fully on the kid. It’s definitely a dumb risk to be picking any hitchhikers up when you’re on your own but the kid catching feelings wasn’t really on her.

Then you’ve got Victoria who is fighting in the power struggle for the curtains as well. She has been around for a long time and wants respect but ultimately is quick to fall into the misunderstandings and just make things worse for everyone. She’s a character who should have stuck to her instincts a bit more like in showing the report. As for the patients, most of them don’t have huge roles but the biggest is definitely Steven. I would say he also shows the biggest weakness in Stewart’s idealogy.

Yes, it could help give him more confidence to see his artwork hung up by the windows but any kind of setback or unexpected incident instead ends up setting Steven’s own development back. So it’s extremely high risk with what I would say is low reward. Often times you will remember a bad thing that happened way more than a good thing so this just wasn’t worth it. I would argue the film also makes this clear with how he nearly died. Hopefully Stewart does take this into account. I know he’s continuing the program but maybe they can scale back some of the projects.

Overall, The main problem with the Cobweb is that it ends up making all of the characters supremely unlikable. The idea of a bunch of misunderstandings all combining into a super mess is pretty fun. I think you could even throw in all of the characters trying to get their petty revenges if this was also part comedy. When played completely serious though, I feel like the movie just goes too far. You need someone to root for after all and that’s not going to work with any of the main characters. In the end I would say to just give this one a skip. It doesn’t have a satisfying ending or enough positives to keep it afloat.

Overall 4/10

Space Cowboys Review

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Space Cowboys is one of those films that knows how to have a good time. There are a lot of little jokes throughout the movie and for the most part it’s got a light tone. I would say that it does start to falter a bit during the climax when the film takes itself a little too seriously. Still, it’s a fun enough movie, I would say that it goes by quickly even with the long run time and so you’ll have a good time here.

The movie starts off by showing us Frank and the crew back when they were younger. They were the best crew of pilots you could have out there! They were ready to go into space and everything but Bob messed them over at the last second. Decades have passed and each member is retired and living the good life. That changes when we find out that a Russian satellite is falling. The impact will be disastrous and the U.S. is trying to keep it afloat to prevent all out catastrophe. This forces Bob, who is now a high ranking NASA official to call in Frank. They will have to let bygones be bygones but Frank is only accepting the mission under one condition. His old senior citizen buddies have to be included in the team as well. Bob agrees..but secretly plans to leave them behind.

You could say it’s like a battle of wits here except that while Frank has all the bravado, Bob has all the wits. It can’t be denied that Frank is a total genius and everything but allowing yourself to be tricked by the same guy twice is pretty rough. If not for the vice president getting involved, it was definitely not going to go very well for Frank. I sort of figured Frank would have had some kind of a backup plan but unfortunately that was not to be.

The film’s biggest strength is in the banter though. I like all of the crisp dialogue between the characters as they really take each other to town. They all get along pretty well so they’re able to really go in without anyone taking offense. The only person with actual bad blood is Bob and those arguments tend to be fun as well. The writing is solid here and you should have a smile on for most of it. When the film wants to be funny, the jokes tend to land.

The film’s biggest weakness are the serious plots like I mentioned before. The whole climax is trying really hard to be serious, intense, and dramatic. The main problem is that you just can’t take any of it seriously. It’s all too by the book to be honest and I think they should have played it all more for laughs. Sure, in a way you could say that the whole film was building up to the actual mission so it would need to be serious but I just wasn’t buying it.

Additionally there is a quick romance plot here that doesn’t work either. The film seemed to think that it had to have a romance but otherwise there is no real reason for this to have even started. It really comes out of nowhere with no kind of warning and feels extremely rushed. I don’t think you would have much time for hooking up with the fate of the planet resting in the balance. It’s like the characters in these movies are trying to speedrun romance and that’s not really a successful way to go about things. It really doesn’t work out for her due to a variety of reasons.

It’s safe to say that Frank is the most enjoyable character in the film. He talks tough and never shows his kinder side but the guy made sure that his whole team got to be here. He really went above and beyond for them which is really important. It’s definitely not something that just anyone would do and the rest of the characters know it. It’s why they have such a tight squad, because they really trust each other.

Hawk gets the next biggest role due to a personal subplot he gets as well as the whole romance angle. While I could do without some of that, he’s still a fun guy. He can hold his own with Frank as needed and they both keep each other in check. In comparison, Tank and Jerry don’t have as big a role but they’re always around. They all contrast with each other pretty well for the overall team dynamic. It was fun to see how they all got through the physical exams for this. Les just say a good memory goes a long way.

It did seem like a pretty extreme regimen for the crew though. I assume this is to make sure you can handle the tasks while you are in a space station but typically tests like this go a bit over to really make sure you’re ready. So you could probably hold back a little on the old timers and they’d be fine. Honestly they looked way better than the young cadets. We have two cadets who get to go on the trip with the old timers and they look absolutely awful.

One of them gets a concussion almost immediately and ends up being dead weight. The other one goes crazy and basically starts messing everything up as fast as he can. A supremely annoying characters all the way through and that was one part of the climax that just felt really forced. I had a really hard time buying into that and it would have even been more believable if he was a Russian double agent instead. I definitely wouldn’t have minded seeing more of the big meetings and political fights going on in the background. That could have been a pretty good subplot.

Overall, Space Cowboys is a good film. I would say it had enough weak points for me to keep it from going to the next level but on the whole it’s an entertaining film and that’s really what I’m looking for here. If you like the idea of a group of old friends getting to finally achieve their dreams then this is definitely the film to check out. Even if the climax isn’t the greatest, the film had enough good moments to carry it all through and quick enough pacing where you felt like the movie covered a lot of ground without dragging.

Overall 6/10

Frankenstein Created Woman Review

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This poster is massive clickbait. The film is definitely not going in the direction of Frankenstein creating another monster. He does dabble in the souls business though and causes a whole lot of trouble. In the end this turns into a super annoying revenge thriller and so much time is spent on the villains. There is not a satisfying conclusion here and so in the end I have to give the whole production a massive thumbs down. It was just not in a good spot and I was not surprised since Frankenstein is rarely any good.

The film starts off with Hans’ father getting executed and he grows up with the reputation of being the son of a convicted criminal. Hans helps Frankenstein out in the lab, another guy who has been ostracized by society as a whole. Hans does a pretty good job of following the doctor’s lead and helping out when possible. He also liked a lady named Christina who helps her father out at the tavern. Unfortunately she is often picked on and harassed by the locals. One day Hans defends her and fights back so they get revenge by framing him so he is executed as well. Christina bumps herself off so Frankenstein revives her and puts Hans’ soul inside of her. What Frankenstein didn’t realize is that the spirit of vengeance demands blood! The ghost of Hans is now telling Christina that she must destroy all of the oppressors who framed him for death. Can she destroy them all before the cops catch up?

The 3 bullies are terrible characters so you’re totally cool with them being bumped off in painful ways each time. They really didn’t do much to convince you that they deserved anything better. That being said, this is still not helping the movie much because the whole thing is focused on a ton of negativity. It’s a shame how nobody was doing anything about this. Even Christina’s father was not really doing anything to defend her. I don’t care how rich these guys are, you can’t let them mess with your daughter like that. That’s just awful and you really can’t stand for that. The father was one of the worst characters as a result. Not the absolute worst since those 3 still have to take that but he was pretty bad.

I thought Hans could have done a much better job of defending himself to the judge too. You could at least say you weren’t at the scene of the crime if you don’t want to expose the relationship with Christina. Mentioning the relationship probably would have been a good idea though when death is the alternative as she doesn’t want him dead either. Dying definitely ended up breaking down his psyche with how crazy he got later on.

Also, the revenge is slightly less satisfying with Christina allowing the villains to have their way a bit first. Sure, she knows she will have the last laugh but I’d have preferred a much more direct approach where they don’t have a chance to really get any kind of quick victory. They just didn’t deserve to have any kind of positives here. I’m struggling to think of any real likable character in this movie to be honest. Frankenstein’s assistant Hertz knows a lot of dark secrets and never tells anyone. This is portrayed as him being a good friend but instead what it tells me is that he will always look the other way and that is absolutely not a good idea. When people are doing evil things, the right thing to do is to expose them. So yeah Hertz is compromised.

Also while Christina is really the victim of a lot of this, it doesn’t help that she murders herself twice. You feel bad for her and would have hoped that the film could have given her some kind of a happy ending. The whole thing just feels so mean spirited, like there is absolutely no hope out there. That’s really a big downer for the film as a whole. I wouldn’t say it really had any particularly happy segments, at least none that lasted for any real long period of time. Even Hans and Christina finally getting together couldn’t last because the villains were yelling through the window the whole time. That romance was a bit too rushed though and wasn’t needed.

So the movie is bogged down by lots of heavy violence, some fanservice, and generally being more of a depressing picture. Frankenstein makes for a good villain but he doesn’t appear as much as he should. I like that he’s the only character who can talk tough to everyone. Generally he isn’t afraid of anyone and has a really confident demeanor to him. This guy just keeps on going and it’s quite brilliant. You just can’t forget that he’s super evil here. At no point should you think he is sympathetic or heroic because he makes it clear just how many people he is willing to sacrifice for his experiments. He doesn’t even hesitate to let Hans get executed after all.

Overall, This is one of those films that goes all in on the shock value and doesn’t have much else to offer. This town would be absolutely dreadful to live in with pretty much all of the inhabitants being evil. They look forward to executions and look the other way when crimes are happening. None of these guys would be your friends and would backstab you in an instant. It’s also still weird to watch a Frankenstein film that doesn’t even have the monster at all. I suppose you can always do movies with just the scientist but the monster is typically the big draw. It’s why the poster had the girl version but that design never happens either. Instead this is more of a possession slasher movie. Either way it’s not like the movie would have been much better. I’m sure it would still be terrible so my best advice is to stay far away from this film. You really don’t want to get mixed up with this series. When you see Frankenstein in the title and particularly if it’s a Hammer film, run far away!

Overall 2/10

Return to Glennascaul Review

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It’s always fun to check out a short because the film makers get to really test their skills. Can they really tell a complete story within the time frame or is it going to be all messed up and cluttered? Fortunately I can say that they did succeed with this one. It manages to be a pretty fun story all the way. I wouldn’t call it all that scary but the experience would still be unnerving overall. It had a good atmosphere and the short keeps your attention the whole time.

The short starts with a guy driving through the roads until he comes across a guy whose car seems to have stopped working. Naturally our hero is a gentlemen and tells the guy to hop in. The guy starts to tell him a spooky story of what happened here and it is definitely something to shake up most people. The hero puts on a brave face but based on how the short ends, it did get to him in the end. It was a pretty fun way to end the short I’ve gotta say. Really helped to end things on a high note.

To the story itself, so this guy bumped into two ladies who needed a lift. So he stopped and took them home. They invited him inside for some drinks and he lost track of the time so the guy dashed off around 2AM. Unfortunately for him, he actually forgot something so he heads back but the place looks deserted and completely different from what was there before. He visits the owner who explains that those women died ages ago. So what happened, did he enter the twilight zone? Is reality just some kind of messed up simulation??? There are a lot of questions and yet there are absolutely no answers to any of them. This guy is lucky to get away with his life after the ladies start talking to him as random voices.

So it’s going for that spooky vibe but the reason I’d say it’s more unnerving than scary is you don’t really get the feeling that the ghosts are actually hostile. Now mind you, they certainly might be but it’s hard to really say. They may have just wanted some company and they don’t really seem to understand how their situation works all that well either. After all, they probably wouldn’t have let him leave so easily otherwise right? The main guy even seemed to like the younger one so that could have been her chance to go back to humanity or pull him to the spirit realm. It’s hard to say either way what would have happened there.

But yeah I choose to believe nothing malicious was going on there. I just didn’t get those vibes at all. Not all of the ghosts are evil so in a way that actually makes a lot of sense either way. My first guess if I was the guy would be that I just got the directions wrong on the way back though. Seems more likely than ghosts but knowing the names and hearing about the past owners would definitely shake things up a bit. He’ll definitely think twice before stopping while on a drive at night though.

Overall, This was a fun story. It’s like a little preview at something that you can picture happening. Perhaps with a slightly less supernatural twist but for the most part, still going through most of these events. The writing and pacing are both good which is super important for a story like this. If you were to mess up on that then this would feel underdeveloped or too rushed. Instead it manages to be a pretty fun story and it’s also one that would probably not work as well if it was full length. In that way, the story made the most out of its format. The short length also makes it an easy re watch. At the end of the day it skates by on just being a fun little short and it didn’t need to be anything more than that.

Overall 7/10

Oujia: Origin of Evil Review

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When you have a movie about Ouija, the odds of it being good are super slim to none. There’s just not much you can do with this demonic board game and of course the whole premise tends to revolve around a bunch of annoying characters deciding to play it because they’re bored. Not a particularly good idea and things tend to spiral from there. This one does not try to shake up that formula in any way which is too bad. It’ll not go down in history as one of the all time greats.

The movie starts with Alice doing a spooky seance for an old man who wants to know if his wife would approve him doing a pretty bad transaction. Alice may not have powers but she does know how to scam people along with the help of her two daughters Lina and Doris. Ultimately the scam doesn’t go too well as they scare him a bit too much and Alice ends up not accepting his money. Ever since her husband died, she has had to take drastic measures in order to take care of her family and one of these measures was to become a professional scammer. She has everything set up around the house and she even decides to buy a Ouija board. The problem is that it comes with a free demon and this thing is now messing with Doris. Doris is now exhibiting supernatural powers but also becoming more sinister and violent. Can Alice do anything about this?

The two girls go to school where we have Father Tom at the ready so at least he has some spiritual defenses but unfortunately as it would usually appear, his powers aren’t as good as the villains. He’s basically defenseless when it counts. It’s too bad because he is a nice guy and definitely the best character in the film. He does his best to keep everyone in check and also doesn’t break his vows to start a romance with Alice who can seem a little desperate at times. He stays true to himself but ultimately isn’t a huge factor.

Alice is doing her best but at the end of the day I can’t cut her much slack for the scamming. Scamming is really a serious thing. It is one of those crimes that preys on the weak and that makes it even more dishonorable. It also takes her a long while to get with the program that these changes to Doris are pretty bad and have to be stopped.

Lina learns this earlier but in general is also a huge troublemaker so I wouldn’t say that she is a great character or anything like that. My first big gripe with her is how she keeps causing a ton of trouble and breaking the rules when she already knows that her mom is in a tough spot. The least she could do is be on her best behavior but instead she’s constantly flirting with a boy from school, breaking curfew, sneaking out the back, drinking alcohol, etc. Her rebellious phase came in a very big way and it’s definitely disappointing.

Then we have Doris who is super easy for the demon to manipulate. The instant she was talking about invisible friends and stuff the other characters should have shut it down but the sad thing is that it all would have been futile anyway. No matter what she could have done, the demon would have still overpowered her anyway. I will say that the movie does a pretty good job with the CG though. Whenever Doris is possessed she opens her mouth like a huge yawn but they really stretch it out. Think like when Goku was yelling while being crushed by Vegeta. Her mouth gets absolutely huge. Then you also have the possessed eyes although that’s more standard.

The movie’s effects were surprisingly good. I also liked the demon’s design. It looked like a fierce threat and something completely other worldly. That’s about the extent of the credit I can give to the film though. Beyond that like I said it’s just your average horror title. The humans are absolutely outmatched, the demon doesn’t really have much of a weakness, and so there’s nothing to really get invested in. When you know that all of the characters are completely doomed then that takes some of the enjoyment out of the whole thing.

With more likable characters you could at least try something but again, they were all super annoying. That one guy who was trying after Lina was just way too much the whole time so you don’t feel as bad for him as you could have. The whole whispering into the ear trick that the demon does is also a bit on the silly side. Alice’s husband has the idea to staple the villain’s mouth shut but that’s not even a good plan because it involves you needing to be strong enough to overcome the demon in the first place. You need incredible amounts of plot armor for that to even come close to working so it’s barely even a plan at all.

Why can’t he just possess an object or a person and help fight the demon? He is apparently good enough to mess with a little doll so he can affect the real world to a small extent. He’s just got to do a whole lot better than that. I also think Tom should have called the Vatican to send an exorcist over as soon as he knew that something was wrong with the daughter. How much more proof do you need once she is writing in other languages and acting so crazy? He decides to go to the house first and let them know…which is a terrible idea. He knows that she has supernatural powers now so how would that possibly help?

Overall, Ouija definitely has a swing and a miss here. It wasn’t a particularly enjoyable film and one of these days they need to have the heroes fight back a little more. Of course that would mean not having the demon possess a little kid this time. I feel like it usually tends to be the kids but if you pick an adult then we can have some fights. Give the demon some form of a weakness or limitation so that the fights can matter as well. As long as we’re stuck in this cycle, the films will continue to stumble their way to the finish line.

Overall 2/10

Curse of the Black Widow Review

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This has to be one of the weirdest films I’ve ever seen. The tone is absolutely all over the place, the soundtrack has 0 consistency, the plot is super convoluted with a ton of twists, the main character looks like Vince from WWE, there are tons of crazy facial expressions, we have a surprising amount of world building for no reason, and there is even some sequel bait. This film just could not calm down and while it starts to get a bit tiring by the second half, I just have to appreciate the ambition. I actually think there was a ton of creativity here and a whole lot of possibilities to make this into a great film. It couldn’t quite get there and I have my share of issues but it was better than I was expecting.

So the movie starts off with Mark at the bar having a bunch of drinks when a beautiful lady shows up and asks for one of the men to escort her to the car. Specifically she only wants one of the guys so Mark goes back to his drink wishing that he was selected. He would quickly change his tune though as they hear yelling and when he heads outside, the guy has been murdered and the lady is nowhere to be seen. It turns out that her name is Valerie and now she is a suspect in the murder. Mark is hired by a lady named Leigh who explains that she was the guy’s girlfriend. The police suspect that she is behind this because her excuse of not showing up to meet her boyfriend as planned was one of the flimsiest that we’ve heard. Basically the rain was too hard. Mark decides to take up the case and he’s about to fall into a whole conspiracy of craziness.

Okay so the first thing that will stand out here is the strong soundtrack. You have a lot of really fast paced jingles and the movie is generally going for a very energetic vibe. Things are just popping and it really doesn’t match the scary vibe the movie is going for. Yeah sometimes the film will get a little quiet and it will try to get ominous but by then it’s just way too late. I liked the music though, it may not be all that fitting most of the time but it does liven things up which is always cool.

Then Mark also has a ton of facial expressions all the time with a bunch of zoom ins here and there. He is visibly shocked by just about everything and doesn’t even know the basics about spiders. This guy doesn’t seem like he would be a particularly good detective and I can imagine him getting emotionally involved with all of his clients. He seemed a little too eager to take up Leigh’s offer after all and then later on he starts to get a bit jealous at the dance. He doesn’t strike me as a very upstanding guy and is someone you’d probably be better off avoiding the whole time.

Still, he does have that obnoxious kind of personality that lets him strong arm anyone who gets in his way. He has a lot of connections and even members of the cops are ready to help him. We learn about the women who are able to turn into spiders and have super abilities among other such legends. He is really hard pressed to believe any of it for a good while but finally comes around after the proof is truly undeniable.

I liked the chief of police, Gully. Yeah he doesn’t always make the best decisions and probably keeps the situation a little too tight lipped but what I can respect about him is that he doesn’t back down. Mark can bully most of the side characters along to his whims but not this guy. No sirrrrr, Gully is here for the long haul and gets the final say. That’s the kind of guy you want in charge of the investigation.

Now, another area I have to give the film props in is with the subplot at the house where you have Laura and a kid. This plot randomly showed up near the beginning of the movie and had nothing to do with anything. Then wayyyyy later on it returns and still seems to be out of place. They’re talking about secrets, Leigh is involved, etc. It’s only by the end where we get a machine gun styled swarm of twist after twist. The plots end up converging but it took so long that I actually started to think that the film forgot about it. Yeah that would be crazy but I did start to really consider it.

Honestly, the film would be better off without any of that anyway. It’s the weakest part of the film by far. I preferred to have this mysterious lady going around bumping men off for rejecting her. That’s a much scarier premise than having all the family drama and learning everything about the past. I don’t want to know more about the character, I want to just focus on how to stop her. We have this one guy who easily seduces the lady and every scene with him is absolutely painful. You’re just rooting for someone to transform into a spider and eat him already.

Also the film gets some kudos for having the first guys to actually have some class. It feels like in almost every film, the guy will buckle immediately if a pretty woman so much as talks to him. Doesn’t matter if he’s married or engaged, he just starts blubbering like a fool and cheats immediately. Not the case this time! The first two girls actually turn Valerie down which is why they are absolutely crushed. I appreciated the resolve there. Would have been nice if they could fight too but let me not get greedy. It was just a nice change of pace to see.

Also this is a better vampire film than most vampire titles and that’s even without having any kind of vampire in it. We still had the blood sucking but it was generally not on screen and the way it was handled with the tendrils was way better than biting the neck. Spiders just have a more pleasant way of going about things.

Overall, Curse of the Black Widow is an absolutely wild ride. It’s crazy just how much is going on and it’s all so rapid. Even with that, the second half does drag on a bit with all the exposition and twists. I super did not care about anything that was happening there and wanted to go back to the mystery. That’s what they should have focused on and the movie would have been better off for it. At the end of the day I wouldn’t recommend the film, it made too many mistakes. Still, it was considerably better than I expected and you see so many missed opportunities that it hurts, but you can feel the ambition. The movie took a wide swing and while it missed, it was a fair effort.

Overall 4/10

Corridors of Blood Review

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This is one of those films that will make you shake your head. The characters make a lot of dicey decisions but in particular the main character really doesn’t look very smart at all. You’ll have a hard time believing that he is a scientist of any sort. He just keeps on making so many wrong turns that you definitely have to put a lot of active blame on him. Without him, the villains would not have gotten nearly as far as they did.

The movie starts by introducing us to Thomas who is known as the greatest surgeon in the business. This guy can handle operations very quickly which minimizes the pain to the patient. Still, he is not satisfied. There has to be a way to knock the patient out before conducting a large scale operation and he is determined to find this path. He experiments with a bunch of drugs and formulas to try and get the timing down but doesn’t use any assistants. So he drugs himself and the side effects are rather strong. He bungles his way into Black Ben’s hideout where the guy steals his notebook and forces a partnership. Thomas will now need to team up with these crooks in order to continue. Is this really worth it?

Naturally the goal of inventing anesthesia is a very good one. I can’t imagine going through most operations without something to knock me out. Pain on that level is just scary to even think about. It’s pretty rough seeing the people yelling on the tables as they’re chopped up. So you sympathize with Thomas but he doesn’t act much like a professional with how he runs tests on himself without anybody around to document the effects. That’s why you have more than one person in general. You need someone who can witness what is going on and give you an unbiased account of the events. Additionally, you can’t trust your own recollection or memory since at times you will be completely under. Trying to do this on his own was a fool’s errand from the jump.

Then even that might not have been so bad if he could lock the doors or something until he was completely sober. Instead he wanders around outside and gets into trouble. The whole scene of him getting pickpocketed is super embarrassing. Then even once he’s in his right mind, it was rather easy to convince him to help out. Thomas figures that trading the lives of a few people and some dead bodies is worth it for science but it’s a slippery slope. Naturally these villains continue to get worse and worse.

So I didn’t like Thomas in the end. He ended up just giving the villains too much leeway. His son wasn’t much better with how he didn’t even try to think of any ideas. His wife probably could have warned Thomas more as well on the risks involved with the science, but she isn’t a scientist so I put the least amount of blame on her. In the end, the best hero by far was Inspector Donovan. Finally we had someone with a little sense around here. I was glad when he pointed out that the time to act was now. He busted through with his men and really made short work of the villains.

The inspector didn’t appear much in the film but was definitely a scene stealer if I’ve ever seen one! As for the villains, they’re all rather annoying and super smug the whole time. Resurrection Joe is randomly one of those guys trying to attack women out of the blue and it was the kind of scene we definitely did not need in this film. It certainly set the stage for how morally bankrupt the villains are but we already knew that. I don’t get why the girl kept on working there after that. Throughout the film she half heartedly asks what’s going on and the others just give her the runaround, victim blame her, or just tell her to get lost.

Meanwhile Black Ben’s girl is just smirking and laughing the whole time. She really doesn’t do much beyond that and unfortunately the main character just takes it the whole time. Black Ben is also one of those smirking type figures who always knows that he’s in the lead. Once the chips are down though, he folds like the rest. Definitely not much to these villains, I’d almost have preferred if the surgeon had a Jekyll and Hyde situation with the drug although I suppose that would be a tad generic so maybe this is for the best.

In the end, most of the troubles in this film felt really forced. Take Thomas’ failure near the beginning where he tries to drug someone but the guy wakes up early. It sounds to me like Thomas never experimented on anyone other than himself which is a dangerously low sample size. Surely he could have tried with his son and everything. Also, why not strap the guy down just in case? Even if to prevent him from moving in his sleep. Like I said, the guy made bad decision after bad decision over and over again.

It felt like the writers sort of had the outcome planned but weren’t sure on the steps to get there. So it’s like this was written backwards to allow for this to happen when it should have been done in order. So the writing’s not very good and I can’t say many positive things about the pacing either. It was a team effort that led this film to fail so everyone played their part.

Overall, Corridors of Blood is a film that I would not recommend. I was certainly not expecting a movie about inventing anesthesia so that was interesting but it could and should have been done so much better. This feels like a B grade crime thriller at best and it forgot all of the thrills at home. You should definitely skip out on this movie, it doesn’t really have anything to offer you. It will quickly be forgotten within the pages of time, never to be seen again.

Overall 4/10

I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House Review

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It’s time for one of those spooky ghost films. The main problem this movie has though is that it’s not quite as scary as it thinks it is. For the most part you’re just thinking that Lily is not handling the situation well. For the most part when you’re in a spooky situation you need to make sure that you are scarier than what is coming. If you’re someone who generally gets scared easy then make sure you don’t put yourself in tricky situations.

The movie starts with Lily moving into a new house to take care of an aging author. This author was a famous murder mystery writer for a very long time. She is unfortunately nearing the end of her life and so Lily works as a stay in nurse who can provide 24/7 care. It’s an extremely difficult job particularly as there is no real end point to it. Lily will continue to provide assistance for as long as she can until the author has passed. The problem? Lily is super scared of ghost stories, mysteries, or anything dark. It’s so bad that she cannot even read a book about dark things or watch any movies. The house is starting to feel rather dark with the stench of death and a mysterious mold is growing as well. Is this the end of Lily’s story?

Right off the bat it does feel like Lily is absolutely in the wrong profession here. For starters, death can be scary for most and so Lily not being able to tackle scary things puts her in a really tough spot. Additionally, you have to factor in some items to prepare yourself for the long stay. Lily can’t go outside and leave the author alone for even a moment which means she is always inside the house. You should have dozens of books and whatever other items you can think of to pass the time by. Lets say Lily has to be here for 1 full year. Without anything to do it would be easy to get stir crazy.

I imagine you could probably just do a lot of exercise and sit ups to pass the time by but not having anything on hand was a big mistake. Lily has her friends that she can call over the phone but that doesn’t buy a whole lot of time. Of course there is also the TV but it is broken half the time which doesn’t help. So the longer Lily is there, the more she starts hearing things and scaring herself even more. It doesn’t help that she already seemed a little off right from the start. So everything really started piling up more and more here.

Lily is just not a very interesting main character and she’s also not a very strong one. She starts panicking rather quickly after going through far less than most horror main characters. I would say that is a very bad look for her. The way she goes out is also pretty bad, super underwhelming. It’s the kind of finish that you very rarely see for a main character and for good reason. You’re left shaking your head at all of this.

What I will give the movie is that it can be good on not explaining too much. We do get a lot of the general answers involving the ghost but for the little things they are up to your imagination. Did the plants just talk or was Lily crazy? (I say she’s crazy) Did the ghost actively want to murder Lily (Yeah) and if so…why? It’s not like Lily is really to blame for any of this. The origin story is sad to be sure but continuing the cycle by adding Lily in doesn’t seem like it would do much for the dead.

For the most part the film isn’t very violent. I’d say the one exception is part of the flashbacks for one of the characters. It’s all over rather quickly but it is a brutal end. Otherwise this is definitely more of a tame horror about the unseen threats and the mind games that are going on. We do get some interesting jumps between the present and the past later on which makes for an intriguing ending. The idea of wanting to stick around as a ghost seems absurd to me but I suppose everyone has their own ideas so in that sense it’s not crazy that some ghosts want to be spooks forever.

The movie does try to hammer in the title several times. The first time I actually thought it was unintentionally funny. That may sound like a diss at the lead but I feel like the film intentionally framed her in a super unattractive way to contrast the title. When she was referring to herself as the pretty thing I sorta had to do a double take. Like did she just say that? Well, the line comes up several more times throughout the film and while it can be a little repetitive, I know it’s all for the themes and everything. I probably couldn’t tell you the exact point of that though.

Overall, This film is not really my style. It’s another slow burn and this might be one of the slowest burns of them all. Even at the end there is no big climax or anything. Lily can’t fight after all and the cast is extremely small. Lily being so scared and everything felt like a very forced plot point that didn’t really have any reason to be here. I think it would be a lot more effective to have a strong character like the lead in 1408 who is slowly broken down by all of the hauntings. That would make a lot more sense. In the end, this one’s definitely a skip. It needed more jump scares and a more interesting main character. That would have really allowed it to cross the finish line.

Overall 3/10