Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire Review

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All right it’s time for the next film in the Monsterverse and you can bet that this is going to be a really intense one. Seeing Godzilla and King Kong take the stage again is definitely a lot of fun. The movie delivers on the action and while I would like to have seen Godzilla more, he does get several fights and shows up early so I’ll give the title credit there.

The movie starts off with King Kong running away from a bunch of creatures. He may be the King of this realm but even that has its limits when the numbers disadvantage is drastic enough. Fortunately his traps are enough to stop them and he continues his quest to find other members of his race. He does end up finding a bunch of them but unfortunately they are being led by the Skar King who has the help of a powerful monster known as Shimo. King Kong can’t handle these fighters on his own…it’s time to call in Godzilla.

A good portion of the film is really about setting up the team-up. You have Godzilla travelling across the world and destroying a bunch of Titans in order to stock up his power for the mission. Meanwhile King Kong actually takes a while to meet up with the Skar King as he first defeats a ton of opponents and bonds with one of the smaller creatures. Think of that one as a King Kong Jr in a way. I like the concept of the team-up a lot and my only issue with it is the lack of threat from the villains but more on that later. There is something really hype about seeing Godzilla gearing up like that.

Right up through the into of the hyped Skar King is really intense there. You’re ready for this and he’s even got a throne. From there though….the Skar King’s not a joke by any means but he’s not a final boss. The film makes it clear that he is weaker than King Kong and many times weaker than Godzilla. He would be lucky to last more than a minute against Godzilla and while he can so marginally better against King Kong, he would be taken down in short order. I like his design and fighting style though, they are both excellent but that’s all he has going for him.

Meanwhile Shimo has a really cool design but I’m afraid things aren’t looking good for her either. She seems to be stronger than King Kong by a good margin but still not a complete match for Godzilla. Still, it’s at least closer, my main problem is how she takes orders. I just don’t see this happening to one of the Alphas who would sooner die in resistance. I’d like to see more of Shimo in the future but yeah this film’s main weak point is that you never feel like Godzilla is in danger. Yeah King Kong is, but we need Godzilla to be pushed to his limits too unless you just keep him for the final climax or something.

Now you may be wondering, what about the humans? Well the humans are okay. You’re mostly waiting for them to get off the screen so you can have fun with the Kaiju though. The main plot is about Dr. Ilene’s daughter Jia to start seeing visions about Kaiju and some kind of a message. She hasn’t been fitting well into school anyway so she gets to go on a trip to the Hollow Earth to see what is going on. Jia’s a nice enough character, she means well and does help out a bit.

I’m not really a fan of Ilene though. The fact that she allowed Bernie to get railroaded by corporate despite helping save the world is pretty harsh. I thought that she looked really bad there and I wouldn’t trust her if I was Bernie. Bernie is easily the most likable member of the main cast and his humor moments tend to land the most. At times he can cross the line into being rather cringy and annoying though. Then you have Trapper who is the only one with absolute confidence at all times. I liked seeing him think of different ways to help out and he was always creative.

So the humans as a whole weren’t bad. The writing wasn’t always great but I’ve seen much worse. It can just drain a lot of time, it felt like their plot would just keep on going long past when you figure you’ve got the point of what they were talking about. I would argue King Kong also has a bit too much screen time of just walking around with Kid Kong. I wanted the big action set pieces you know, not the adventure. Also some of his kills against the local creatures were a bit much. I know they’re technically monsters but they did look rather like animals so that was a little dicey. Basically the King Kong survival moments didn’t really help the film go further.

Ultimately I would say it lost to the original Godzilla vs Kong and Godzilla: King of the Monster films for that reason. Still, this is starting to sound negative so lets go back into the positives real quick. First up, the Kaiju designs here are all great. We’re finally talking S rank fighters here. I liked the spider a lot, the underwater Kaiju, etc. Each of Godzilla’s opponents were fun to watch. They were strong but nowhere near his level. This is why Godzilla is King of the Monsters. The difference is made very apparent when nobody wants to challenge Godzilla while everyone is trying to test King Kong.

One annoying thing about Godzilla being this powerful though is that the film has to constantly make him miss with the atomic breath. After all the fight would be over the instant he scores a direct hit on any of the enemies. Then the film acknowledges his Atomic Wave attack but he conveniently doesn’t use it in any of the big battles because it would end the movie. So I admire the attempt to try and keep this even but we all know Godzilla would have stomped everyone in this film. It’s why I thought it was a bit of a stretch how Shimo kept ducking him and landing sneak attacks on Kong. I don’t know about that but Godzilla’s strength was respected and I always like that.

The film does have a bit of an odd plot point with Godzilla being drawn to a signal the whole film and gearing up but by the end of the film some characters think he wasn’t going to make it. The simplest solution if you ask me is that the researchers were wrong and Godzilla was on the way. I can buy into that, particularly since in the last film we saw how he knows how to get to the Hollow Earth by just blasting into the ground. So that’s how I would answer that at least.

I’m surprised the government hasn’t made another Kaiju of their own yet. Mecha Godzilla did very well after all and they should be able to reverse engineer the specs at some point. It might have made things cluttered but it’s time to see the army do something different. I felt like chuckling when they sent some plans to go and take down Godzilla. I mean, are you kidding me?? It goes without saying that the special effects are excellent here. I also thought the soundtrack was good. I’d have liked some electronic type tunes like Godzilla Final Wars but I’ll take what we can get here.

The film delivers on the team up and I’d argue the final fight already makes the whole experience work pretty well. It’s an excellent spectacle and the decision to have the fight be in the real world was a great idea. In the Hollow Earth things tend to be a lot bigger so you can’t always appreciate the scale while in the real world you get to see everything get destroyed.

While this can sound like a bit of a diss, the film is really playing to its strengths when there is a lot of destruction on screen. I’m really here for the Kaiju fights and those go really hard. I could easily watch 2 hours of the Kaiju just fighting among each other. It’s incredibly entertaining and just great at all times. I’m definitely ready to see what they do for the next film in this series. Hopefully we don’t have to wait too long for it.

Overall, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is a pretty good film. All it would have needed to cross the threshold into great territory would have been to have one of the enemies actually be powerful relative to Godzilla. You feel like Godzilla would beat them 2 on 1, much less when he has King Kong at the ready. There are a lot of fun easter eggs to the series and you even get to see an unexpected character. So that was great and it also shows that there are a lot of elements already ready for that future film. I think it’s time for a Destroy All Monsters adaption with Destoroyah as the final boss now.

Overall 7/10

The Magnetic Monster Review

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All right so I know that right out of the gate you are probably expecting some giant monster running around and crushing everyone right? Well this isn’t that kind of movie and instead I would say it’s more of a brainy kind of film where the heroes have to figure out how to use science to save the day. It works well and is a pretty fun film with a good script and solid pacing. I’d call it more of a slow burn that mainly just works because everything was handled well. If the writing wasn’t as good then of course this movie would not have ended up being very good. It rides or dies with the writing.

The first thing you should know is that the film is quite short so this allows things to move rather quickly. It’s barely over an hour and that works out well since the plot is rather simple. There is a phenomenon taking place that is causing everything to be magnetized. It happens suddenly and causes a lot of trouble for one store. The A-men, a group of powerful scientists who look into this kind of thing are sent to investigate. Sure enough, there is a mysterious force at work here and eventually they narrow it down. It turns out that one scientist was meddling with nature a little too much and created a sentient energy that is eating other kinds of energy. It can cause implosions and is generally too powerful to be contained. The main characters will have to think of something fast or it’s all over.

I have to say that my first thought here was that it reminded me a whole lot of Ghostbusters. Even the way the office was set up gave me those kind of vibes. Sure this is more science-based than supernatural but they have all kinds of fancy equipment and pull out a variety of objects from their bags. Also getting a fancy title like “The A-Men” makes them stick out a whole lot. The movie may not be part comedy but it has a fairly light hearted tone to it as well which only serves to further add to that effect.

The brief romance moments we get with the main character and his wife tend to be on the cheesier side to be honest but I’ll let it slide as the moments are quick and it’s not like they’re that bad or anything like that. It just feels like the film isn’t quite as confident in writing those scenes as it is in the main part of the film. Also you get that the whole film can’t be tense with this living energy but it almost feels a bit out of place to have the main couple talking about finances halfway during the film when the danger isn’t quite over yet. A funny scene that did land was when the cab driver was affected by the magnetic pull and handled the situation well. He didn’t lose his cool and had a lot of info to give the heroes.

This is the kind of film where the narrator steps in to fill in the blanks on details in the story and whenever we have a quick jump. I would say that worked well. One thing I would have liked to have seen more of was the energy itself though. Lets get some big speeches about why humanity has to be destroyed and stuff like that. I’d also like to see more out of the super computer (“MANIAC”) who got absolutely crushed here. Especially with how old this film is I would say that approached some sci-fi levels as well. It was sort of like the Bat Computer from the old comic book films but even then the super computer lost so fast that it really couldn’t keep any kind of hype.

Now, like I said this is a slow burn film so you do have to enjoy the plot. You’re going to have numerous scenes of the characters just talking about the energy and what this means for science. There isn’t a lot of action for most of the film and a lot of times the magnetic energy is being rather harmless. It’s part of the scare factor though as you never know when it’s going to suddenly just blow up a building or something. Those moments really come out of the blue. Naturally it’s also off screen since the effects for that would have probably been rather tricky.

So you are here for the writing and the banter is solid. You have some disagreements with the characters and some tough talk but for the most part they are all on the same side so they are all trying to be helpful. I could definitely appreciate that. There isn’t really much room for human villains here. I’d say the scientist on the plane is the closest thing to it because he was generally not helpful with keeping secrets the way that he was. He put a ton of people in danger without having a great reason for it. Things could have definitely gone sideways very easily.

The scary thing is that ultimately you could say the energy probably got the last laugh here. Everyone is probably filled with radiation at this point and their lives will have been shortened in the process. It’s definitely rough but I suppose that’s how it goes sometimes. At least in the meantime you can take the happy ending at face value. At least they are all alive.

Overall, The Magnetic Monster may not be a film that is nearly as exciting as its title but at the same time I would say that it is still a pretty good film. It’s the kind of film that keeps you engaged all the while you are watching it. You aren’t likely to talk about it much in the future or anything like that but the very basic nature of the film means that it has a ton of replay value. You can go back and watch it at any time and it’s so short that it will fly by in an instant. Now there is the sign of a good film. I would recommend checking this out if you’re looking for a basic sci-fi film that executes the story well.

Overall 7/10

Bram Stoker’s Dracula Review

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Uh oh it’s time for another Dracula film. By now you know that most of these Dracula movies are pretty bad. I think part of the problem is that there just isn’t a whole lot that you can do with this vampire. Blood sucking will always be annoying at best and rather gross at worst. Then mix that in with the main characters being generally inept and you aren’t going to be in for a good time. By now the story is also rather stale so yeah it loses on all fronts.

The film starts with Jonathan heading over to meet Dracula on some real estate business as usual. He ignores all of the red flags because his family really needs the money. Unfortunately this proves to be a fatal error as he is attacked by Dracula’s vampire wives. Unlike other Dracula incarnations who command respect, he has to actually physically stop them here since they took a bit to actually listen to his orders. They get their win shortly afterwards but not before Dracula heads out to take down Jonathan’s fiancé as well as her friend. Can anybody stop this guy?

Of course not! What do you think this is??? I mean sure he’ll be taken down eventually but not before he causes a lot of chaos. That’s always the annoying thing about these films. You have to slowly watch him do some blood draining and take the heroes down before anybody is actually able to stop him. That’s where it just gets annoying the whole time and the scenes take forever. The film also squeezes in some fanservice here. Lets just say that the scene is played up quite a bit and Dracula is doing some unnecessary stuff during the biting.

There are no coincidences here and so the film is going extra hard in making everyone look bad. I would say even among Dracula movies this one is particularly weak. There is really no reason to watch it. The movie gets excessively violent, the fanservice is poor, and there are no great characters. Even Dracula as I mentioned doesn’t get the usual amount of respect you would think. He doesn’t look very imposing, if anything he seems confused at times. You feel like the heroes could take him down if they would move a bit quicker.

There’s at least one scene where Van Helsing has the cross at the ready but throws it away so Dracula gets the upper hand. Yeah he had a hostage at the ready but that’s when you charge forward. Naturally Dracula continues going about his business once the cross is away so the heroes earned nothing there. It’s why the hostage dilemma can be difficult of course since it is often a lose-lose situation but it was particularly annoying here.

Jonathan is particularly awful though. Early on he has the chance to destroy Dracula when he goes up to the coffin but he hesitates for some bizarre reason which gives the henchman enough time to take him out. Next time you have the lord of darkness in your sights you really need to finish the job. Like what are you even doing by that point? You have to lock in and take care of business. It’s the only way forward.

There’s not much to say about Lucy and Mina here. They basically exist to get wrecked by Dracula the whole time as they can’t muster up any willpower. Arthur is also annoying because of course he falls asleep on the job and is generally unhelpful until the end. He may have some enthusiasm but he is lacking in overall skills and ability which are just as important. Without those he ends up just being lost in the grand scheme of things which isn’t helpful to anyone.

Van Helsing at least knows what he is doing. Again he doesn’t always handle the situation well but I give him some points for the attempts. Without him the heroes wouldn’t be doing much of anything. He’s just going through the motions for the most part though, I prefer the adaptions where he is a little crazier and willing to go to extreme method to stop Dracula. Lets see this guy cut loose and everything you know? That would be way better.

Not that there was ever any chance for this film to be good though. Lets just face it, it was always going to be a pretty bad movie and there’s no real way to avoid that. It’s not impossible to make a good Dracula movie, in fact it’s been done a few times. You have to try really hard though because you are starting at a disadvantage and I didn’t feel that the film did a particularly good job here. There are also so many Dracula films that I feel as the writer you need to at least try and differentiate yourself a bit. This one didn’t really do that at all.

At least the film’s not super long so I can say that about it. Is that really the only positive? Well…yeah. I mean what other good things are there to say about this one? The characters are annoying and Dracula doesn’t make for a good villains. All of the characters are supremely annoying so you are just shaking your head the whole time. Dracula also needs a better motivation. He’s basically draining all of these girls because he wants romance or just enjoys the power? One of them reminds him of his wife but he must not have loved her a ton if he’s rebounding like this. He comes across as a desperate guy who isn’t even remotely likable and I can’t stress enough how bad that makes him look. That’s one of the worst kinds of motivations that a villain can have.

Overall, This was a pretty bad Dracula movie. It falls into all of the usual issues around a vampire film like this without having any hook to keep you interested. Maybe throw us some big fights showing off Dracula’s super abilities or have some kind of government plot. Maybe have the army try to take him down? Things like that could at least give you something to sink your teeth into instead of effectively watching the same movie again. To be honest it’s unlikely it would give the film many more points but every little bit helps. Definitely avoid this film as much as possible.

Overall 1/10

So Long at the Fair Review

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This is one of those films where I have to say that the title is really clever. Right out of the gate when the plot starts you gotta let out a quick chuckle there. It works really well. As for the film itself, I’d say it’s solid. In some ways it’s the kind of film that I do think could have been executed a bit better and has been, but it’s a fun story all the way. It’s filled with some thrills and chills as the mystery intensifies but my main problem is that you aren’t quite as invested in the missing character as you could be.

The film starts with Vicky and her brother Johnny visiting Paris. Vicky is super psyched to be here and wants to try out all of the activities and visit different places. Johnny is bored and irritated the whole time but she talks him into it. He’s more concerned about his work to be honest and he’s not feeling too well. They have a good time and retire for the night but the next day Johnny is gone. In fact his whole room appears to have disappeared and everybody says that he doesn’t even exit. Vicky has walked into some kind of conspiracy but is she ready to handle it?

So I would say that Vicky is the weakest part of the film. I get not being experienced in this kind of situation of course but she has a tendency to faint and panic at every step. The villains outmaneuver her at all points and she doesn’t really stick up for herself. I get not just punching everyone out since this isn’t a 2020s film but I think she could be a little more forceful about the whole thing. Her brother has been vanished after all which means he is likely murdered or about to be. You have to take drastic steps at this point.

She’s a little overly emotional as well. So I’m quite critical of her the whole time. She is going through a rather stressful situation of course so I cut her some slack but yeah it’s a good thing that she gets help from George later. Now this guy does fairly well for himself and is able to take that aggressive position I was hoping for. He’s going on secret missions like he is James Bond and doesn’t take no for an answer. His natural confidence and smooth behavior helps a lot here.

The only dent I would put against him is it wasn’t really necessary to kiss Vicky in the hotel room as a cover. I’d say he took advantage of the situation there and this film didn’t actually need any kind of romance. Lets focus on the suspense and adventure instead! He’s still the MVP of the film though since everyone else was generally unhelpful. I’d also say that the villains got really lucky here that nobody was paying attention and Johnny didn’t talk to many people. Otherwise it would be incredibly difficult to hide such a conspiracy.

It’s not as bad as a film where this happens on a plane since that was just absurd but this goes to similar extremes. I don’t see how so much work was done without anyone noticing especially in a place as busy as Paris. I guess the hotel could be a little dead at times but ehhhh it stretched my disbelief a bit. This kind of plot does usually revolve around a little disbelief of course though and it has less than others so it wasn’t too bad.

Like I said earlier though, one of the only weaknesses here is that you don’t really care about Johnny much. The ending of the film should be really sad and yet you barely care. I feel like the film is more about the thrill of the mystery and finding out what happened whereas in other films you would be equally invested in the final fate of the one who vanished. I’m cool with this though because the chase is most of the film. Trying to connect the dots and see what happened. I also appreciate that Vicky didn’t let herself be gaslit into thinking that he didn’t come along or that he left early though. Now that would have been absolutely crazy.

There aren’t many supporting characters who get involved here. One of them certainly meets a rather explosive end which come to think of it, is also another bit of a stretch. It’s just such a big move. I guess it’s realistic in terms of a villain would do this of course but then the ending should be harsher. You have the main cop saying he understands why the villains did this and all that in a rather somber tone. Someone should remind him that these villains were ruthlessly murdering people. I guess it’s possible that he hasn’t connected the dots yet but yeah the ending should have been tougher there. If the film was longer then I would have liked for it to lean into the conspiracy angle a bit more.

The film is a bit trapped between the movie being rather ambitious but also staying small scale. Like this isn’t a huge gangster battle or some kind of illuminati opponent but at the same time the villains are able to make lots of moves in a short amount of time and do seem to think of everything. They have people tailing Vicky for a while and are also able to bump off people but this ends up not being super widespread. I think it would have been a good idea for the film to have been a little more ambitious.

At the end of the day the writing is good though and that is the foundation of a solid movie. I would have liked a tougher main character but that’s still not going to take away from the film being a solid watch. Particularly considering how old the movie is, I would say that it did quite a lot. I was satisfied here. It may not be as scary as it may have initially appeared but it keeps your attention.

Overall, This is a pretty fun film. It’s also a rather short one so it ends right away. This does allow for some really fast pacing which is always nice and it’s probably for the best. A good mystery is limited only by the writer’s imagination so of course this could be stretched to 3 hours but I thought the length fit the movie rather well. There’s only so much you could do with this film before it would start to go in circles or something without more characters and locations. At the end of the day it is a movie that has aged well so I would recommend checking it out.

Overall 7/10

The Bad News Bears Review

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Whenever you think of the Bad News Bears you figure you’re in for one of the toughest teams on the block. What you don’t realize is that they aren’t delivering bad news…they are the bad news! Now there’s a twist if I’ve ever heard of one right? It’s a comedy film that can be pretty fun at times but ultimately doesn’t quite do enough to get much higher than that. It will keep you entertained but won’t be a film that you’re clamoring to watch again. One playthrough is really enough for this one.

The film starts with Morris being paid to coach a kid’s baseball team. He’s not really interested at all but the money’s good and that’s what counts. He intends to give this the minimum amount of effort so he keeps on drinking all day and generally not being very helpful. What makes him even less interested is that nobody on the team even knows how to play. They are all scrubs and they even lose the first game by over 20 points. Still, the disrespect is just too much and so Morris decides that he’s going to turn this team into a bunch of winners. Is he really doing this for them though…or for himself? That’s the tough question here.

So most of the comedy here is in how bad the team is of course and how over the top Morris is in terms of being a completely inappropriate coach. It tends to work most of the time which is what keeps the film in the green. Morris has a lot of fun facial expressions the whole time and the subtle bits of character humor also work really well. Then when his competitive spirit gets going, you still have fun because of course he doesn’t know how to handle success well. I would say the film tends to ride or die based on how much you enjoy his character.

I’d say a weakness of the film tends to be the ending and any moment where it tries to take itself too seriously. The movie can’t quite handle these moments. For example, at one point Morris and Amanda have a big fight. She wants to hang out with him and at least develop a small bond but he shoots her down. Mainly the problem here is that he’s way too rude and goes too far. From that point on there is no way you can root for him to win or do well as a coach. It’s understandable that he doesn’t want to create any bonds right now but she is a child and he could have handled that a million times better. I just had no respect for him after that scene, he was just awful.

If I was Amanda I probably would have ditched the team after that tbh. Good luck winning without a pitcher! She has all of the leverage in this dynamic and ultimately she still does get injured with how hard she was playing. She’s easily one of the most likable characters here and I felt like things didn’t go great for her. Then you have the rival Kelly who is a delinquent but knows how to play so they let him on the team. He is actually very good and along with Amanda is a huge reason on why they go far. So what do the rest of the teammates do about this? They get upset at him and basically cause a bunch of trouble for no reason.

I don’t think they were justified in any way and come across as a bunch of jerks. I’ve never liked when a bunch of characters turn on someone without even giving the character a chance. At least talk to him and explain why you are upset instead of becoming all passive aggressive and sulking the whole time. That doesn’t help anyone. It’s just blowing a bunch of hot air at that point. Yeah that’s not a good thing to do. So everywhere I look, there are reasons to root against the team.

Then the kicker is the climax as we get the teamwork message. It is worth sacrificing your chance at winning the championship if you can get everyone having fun. The main problem with this kind of message is that most people don’t have any fun when they lose. In fact, if you lose the championship and you are the reason why your team lost, then you’re going to feel absolutely lousy. Morris should have had the weaker kids start early in the first inning so they could play before benching them. I just disagree with the theory on its face.

It’s selfish to sacrifice everything when the championship is something that is so hard to obtain in the first place. Again, the kids weren’t very grateful or anything so maybe it works out anyway but it was still annoying to watch. The whole second half of the film is kind of annoying come to think of it. Even the opponent coach hits a kid and gets off without any real consequences. He’s back to laughing and feeling good about himself by the end because he’s winning and there’s nothing the heroes can do about it. Sure you could say the family leaving are some consequences but I’d rather he have gotten punched or something.

So maybe the most direct way to put this is that the film had a bit of a mean streak to it. It was funny during the early comedic moments of everyone messing up and looking terrible but once the film got serious, it would just go too far. The film needed to have a little more restraint the whole time and personally I would change the ending. Not necessarily to a big win or anything like that but I wouldn’t have made the team effectively throw the match.

Overall, The Bad News Bears brings bad tidings to its viewers by the end. It’s entertaining enough where I could still say that it is a good movie, but certainly not a very good one. I wouldn’t be in a rush to rewatch this film and I have to hope that the sequels stick the landing a bit better. Just lean a bit more into the comedy and I’m sure you could do a lot with a Baseball title like this. I do have a good time with sport films after all and Baseball is the kind of sport that should translate well into a movie with so many characters running around.

Overall 6/10

One Touch of Venus Review

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It’s time for a romance musical film. The latter doesn’t really become an element for a while but you can be sure that the romance is here from the jump. It’s a pretty interesting scenario since it’s sort of like the classic wish fulfillment scenario but with the main character trying his best to get out of it. He looks rather awful in this movie to be honest but there are some decent laughs to be had here. Is it a good movie though?…wellllllllllll I’d probably have to say no on that.

The movie starts off with Savory being really excited to show the world the giant Venus statue that he got. He ordered it a long time ago and put a fortune into obtaining it. Unfortunately the curtain on the display isn’t working so he sends one of his employees over to fix it before the unveiling. This employee’s name is Hatch and he’s not very talented, smart, or reasonable. He also gets drunk extremely easily. So Hatch does some drinking on the job and decides to kiss the statue before fixing the curtain. What he doesn’t realize is that he has just awakened the goddess of love, Venus up from her slumber. Venus is now ready to enjoy life and has fallen in love with Hatch. The problem is that Hatch is super afraid of her and now the boss believes that he has stolen the statue.

Hatch is an annoying character from the jump. First off, he has a girlfriend in Gloria already but the guy keeps her distant because he doesn’t want to get married. If you just started dating then sure it’s probably good to get to know each other for a while before you’re married. Date for a few months or something and then you’re all good. The problem here is that it feels more like Hatch is just scared of commitment and instead of having an honest conversation with Gloria about it, his first instinct is to just run. Not a very responsible or mature thing to do right?

He does the same thing with Venus. He literally faints the first time and then after that he spends most of the film panicking and running around. If he was at least 100% dedicated to Gloria and was just trying to reject Venus then that would be one thing but he still weakens in several instances which just makes him look really bad. Yes, Venus does passively increase the desire of love within everyone she is around but you need to be able to resist those abilities with your willpower. I don’t accept any excuses in this kind of thing. You either stay strong or you don’t, I’m afraid there is no middle ground here.

Savory may be one of the antagonists here but he has a lot more flair than Hatch. When he meets Venus he does his best to impress her to the point of appearing desperate. He is quick to help others out and yeah he’s not exactly a superhero but he seems like a reasonable guy. I know with the Molly subplot he could be a bit oblivious but she wasn’t super direct either so I’d put that on both of them 50/50. You even feel bad for him a bit when Venus is obviously using him by the end. She didn’t need to do all that but of course at the end of the day it’s on him for falling for that.

Molly gets a fairly happy ending though. I was glad that at the end she wasn’t going to throw Hatch under the bus during the big misunderstanding. At the end of the day she is a good person with her own standards. She may have been a bit too cold and cryptic to the point of sabotaging herself for a while there but she was fun to root for. She always had a few cold one liners at the ready to toss around.

Venus is possibly a big antagonist depending on how much control you think she has over her love abilities. If she is pro actively trying to get Gloria and Joe together so she has Hatch then of course that is antagonist behavior. If it’s more passive then that’s not as bad. The film hints to the former though, particularly since she can use her other abilities at will. She is quite powerful in this film as she can really do anything that her heart desires. Quite a fun ability, I think anyone would really agree to that.

She is willing to charm her way to victory and use people though which is always a trait that I dislike in any character. Her overall confidence is fun enough but the manipulation isn’t cool. So yeah I wasn’t rooting for her here since the whole romance wasn’t build upon great circumstances from the start and she could have used her powers for a lot of better purposes. I wasn’t a big fan of Gloria either though since she rebounded with Joe so quickly. Yeah they’re both possibly being influenced and all but you have to fight it.

Gloria has a boyfriend and Joe’s the guy’s friend. These are both massive taboos so you can’t just ignore that when you feel like it. No sirrrrrr, that was not a good move. That whole subplot is pretty sad whenever it shows up on screen so the romance as a whole is lacking like I mentioned. The film is at its best when it’s embracing the craziness of the whole situation. Every time Hatch would break past the cops I was having a of fun there. It’s silly and over the top but it’s charming with no strings attached.

It made for some decent chase scenes. I also generally enjoyed Venus and Hatch running around and having to hide from everyone. Yeah it’s a bit cheesy but again this is what the film should have been like the whole time. It takes itself so seriously despite the outlandish plot and this being a musical. Also, the songs aren’t all that good. None of them stand out at all and that’s my main problem with a lot of old school music like this. They tend to sound the same and aren’t fast paced or action enough to really take the movie to the next level. There aren’t a ton of songs compared to other musicals though so even if you don’t like musicals then you should be okay as long as you enjoy the story.

Overall, One Touch of Venus is an interesting film. It can be a little funny to see Hatch just panicking and fumbling the bag in every instance. He always finds a way to get himself into bigger and bigger trouble by making himself sound crazy. At the same time, it does mean that he can also be a really annoying main character. It’s hard to root for someone who is his own worst enemy. The film doesn’t drag on though and for the most part it is fun. So I’m leaving it at the midway point here. It’s good enough where you won’t be bored or anything while watching it but at the same time it’s not like you can really root for any of the romances and the characters are all mainly annoying.

Overall 5/10

The Time Travelers Review

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It’s time for a movie that’s definitely more on the disappointing side. It’s not like I had massive hopes for it or anything like that but a film about time travel should always be exciting. Instead this one was just more of a let down. A lot of the time there was nothing going on in the movie and it felt like the story was constantly stalling for time. That is absolutely not the right way to make a good impression and so even the ending doesn’t land as well as it should have.

The film starts with a bunch of scientists working on their time device. They want to be able to peer into different time periods but they are using up a lot of energy and have no results. Danny is sent in there to tell them to cut it out but they try one more test. This time it works, only better than they expected. The “window” doesn’t just let them view other times, it actually lets them jump in as well. Now they are all trapped in the future with no way to get home. This is already bad but it turns out that the world is about to end. They will have to rely on the help of other scientists from the future who are rather suspicious.

The story sounds a lot more interesting than it actually is. You’ve got a whole race of brutes running across the planet and then you have “Deviants” who are part brute, part human. Stuff happened along with the mass bombing of the planet that caused people to not develop so much and this really split humanity. There’s a story somewhere in here about rebelling against this tyranny but there’s just no time. We already missed the collapse of modern civilization and these are the last scientists on the planet either way.

The brutes are also surprisingly weak. Guess how the main characters get them to go away…..they throw rocks at them. Yeah this is enough to make them retreat. It really makes no sense no matter how the film tries to spin it. I couldn’t believe how the whole crowd backed off from the main fighters because of this. There are some action scenes once in a while during the movie but never for long. You don’t need this for a time travel movie but at the same time it means that I couldn’t really take the villains all that seriously.

Then we also have some random fanservice near the middle of the movie. The scene has absolutely no point being in here and you could say that about quite a few other scenes. The film takes us through the long process of building and fixing androids. I imagine they will have been doing this for a very long time because these androids are super flimsy. I’d trust Flippy the modern burger A.I. over some of these things. The brutes destroy them with ease. Couldn’t the scientists have taught the robots to throw rocks or something?

Now in part this is a problem with the film being so old but the so called high tech civilization don’t really feel that advanced. They’re also not very reasonable but that’s just human nature so I could roll with that. The only thing I will defend them on is not wanting to alter the plan to leave the planet. They already spent years getting the perfect window set up and it’s reasonable to assume that they would be obliterated by the villains if they stay for much longer. So it sucks for the main scientists but they can’t exactly wait for them.

This could all be very fascinating if you didn’t have to sit through 20 minutes of comedy music while the heroes walk around the base doing nothing. It felt like the script for this film was only around 30 minutes so they really had to stretch this for as long as possible. Not a good idea by any stretch of the imagination. Again, the story itself is very interesting but it was executed in the worst way possible. The film’s biggest error is really that it can just get rather boring at times. That shouldn’t be possible for a time travel film. It should be extremely engaging and fascinating the whole time.

The pacing is just so bad. The film’s not even very long but it sure feels like a lengthy epic as a result of the decisions made here. I was shaking my head the whole time. Lets quickly list the cool concepts the movie had that weren’t explored much at all. 1. The warring factions with the brutes, 2. The poor guy in the middle of this who is shunned by humans and monsters. How did he even break into the ship? 3. The guy who was trigger happy from the future scientists. I felt like he was going to get a much bigger role, etc. There was a ton of meat left on the table for this movie.

The only part of the film that I will give some decent credit for being original is the ending. Sure, it’s something you may have seen before in some way or another but it’s not an option that tends to be picked. So actually seeing this ending was pretty fun and makes a whole lot of sense. It all depends on the rules for time travel that the verse picks but this is one that’s always interesting and works to prevent any kind of a paradox. The ending alone isn’t worth watching the film of course but if you are intrigued, this could help enhance the movie just a little bit.

Overall, The Time Travelers is not a very good film. It spends way too much time on filler moments and not actually advancing the plot. Every time the heroes would take a break to just marvel at the future I would get annoyed. Particularly since none of the stuff was all that impressive either. None of the characters really stand out either and the film’s weak attempt at a romance here falls flat. Yeah you’re really not missing much by skipping this film. It will ultimately stay forgotten.

Overall 4/10

My Blue Heaven Review

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All right it’s time for another retro film as we go way back to 1950 on this one. It’s an old school musical with a whole lot of songs so you don’t have to worry about running out of those. Unfortunately the main character loses a lot of points by the end and the characters definitely don’t always make the right moves.

The movie starts with Kitty and Jack having a big celebration because they are finally having a kid. Everything is looking really good until they are in a car crash and Kitty loses the baby. Now her only option is adoption but the orphanage doesn’t think people in the TV business like Kitty and Jack would make for good parents. They need to find some way to get a kid though but what can they do. What even are their options at this point? One thing’s for sure, if they get too desperate they may end up getting into trouble.

I can see why it would be a bit of a tougher sell for the orphanage on a couple like Kitty and Jack who both work. Especially back in 1950 when this was far less common. It would mean they would need to hire a baby sitter and as we saw later in the film, that’s not always a good option. So the orphanage may have been onto something at least to a small percent although of course the main couple actually was responsible. They just didn’t leave a great first impression.

Where they got a bit too desperate was when they decided to do this behind the books. They went to some shady people at the back of a restaurant and ignored a ton of red flags in order to take the baby. Jack in particular messed up on this one since they had been leaving when his willpower weakened. The film mainly tries to dodge this plot for later on with an easy resolution when that could have really gone sideways.

Jack’s biggest mistake was cheating on Kitty with a younger actress known as Gloria. That whole scene was crazy and completely dooms his character. The fact that he wasn’t even fighting by the end and seemed eager for more before Kitty walked in was just sad. Yeah he got his excuses lined up and we can assume it’s all happily ever after but it’s just unfortunate how he proved all of the friends and neighbors right. They figured he couldn’t be trusted by himself and well, he couldn’t. The guy was practically encouraging Gloria by the end.

So yeah he looks pretty bad throughout. Kitty fares better in the film but has her own share of issues like when she allows the hired help to boss her around. Kitty brought in a nurse for when she has to go to work but she lets this person boss her around during the day to the point where she isn’t allowed to hold her own baby? That makes absolutely no sense, it’s just completely backwards. Yeah that’s not very smart and at least eventually she fired that person.

The main cast is rather small but there are a few supporting characters. The main two important ones would be the other couple who are always around to cause some trouble. Whether it’s by finding shady deals for more babies or throwing a party which doomed the odds for the first try, something is always going on here. They don’t always have a lot of tact and the party going on for so long is part of why the main duo crashes in the first place. Technically this influence ended up being a net negative for the main characters.

One thing that doesn’t really help the film is that none of the music is all that good. It’s a big contrast to the writing where I tend to enjoy older films for how the writing style was but I tend to dislike or be generally indifferent to older style music. Give me concert type films over musicals any day as those tend to have a lot more life to them. At the end of the day this one really could not keep up. I won’t really remember any of the tunes by the next day.

The baby scenes don’t really do anything for me in terms of helping the film or being funny so the film has to try and have a blast around those moments. The dog was nice though and always good to see. Whenever a pet appears in a film without an action context or anything then I can generally be assured that it’s going to enhance the movie. There should be no risk of anything negative happening to the pup after all. I also appreciated the maid who was a fun character. Honestly she got the roughest bit of things because the characters were never really being all that nice to her or embracing he positive energy that she was throwing out. That’s definitely something that they need to work on.

If I could do something differently here, it’s that I would have focused more on the main characters’ radio career. I think those shows have a lot of potential to them, far more than the TV versions. On the radio it’s all audio so no reason to be running around with all these big productions. Instead it’s more about telling a good story and being dramatic. The opening segment about the IRS for example was better than any of the shows that came before it. Don’t introduce Gloria a a character and I think you’ve got a whole lot going on here to be a big success.

Overall, My Blue Heaven is a film that definitely throws a lot at the main characters. Some of the problems are self inflicted while others are really outside of their control. As with most musicals the songs themselves aren’t all that good but the film does have a chipper feel to it the whole time. Jack ultimately cracking and giving in to the dark side keeps this film from going above breaking even, particularly with how easy he was let off. Still, if you want to check out an old school musical then this could be the one that is up your alley. Just don’t expect great characters or anything like that.

Overall 4/10

The Kid From Left Field Review

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It’s time for a retro Baseball title. This one as a kid as one of the main characters so I was wondering if he could really keep the film together but it ultimately works out. My main issue is with some of the adults who really don’t do anything to help him out at all. At the end of the day if you want to improve at anything, whether it be Baseball or video games you’re going to have to be ready to put the work in!

The film starts by introducing us to Coop who works as a peanut salesman within the Baseball stadium. He used to fancy himself as a good player but unfortunately he was never all that great. The folks around the stadium are nice enough to keep the act up so he can look good in front of his son though. I thought that was a really nice thing to do. Unfortunately the local team has been dreadful for a long while now and Coop knows what is wrong with them. The problem is that he has no credibility. When his son Christie passes on an off-hand remark to Pete, one of the players, the team begins to do better. This gives Coop and Christie an idea, they can help the entire team and Coop will have Christie be the go between. Now they can finally win the World Series!

Of course this plan would not work if Christie had no Baseball knowledge so it works out that he is experienced in the game as well. In fact he was managing his own team in the kids division. Even in the pros, while Christie mainly uses Coop’s ideas, he quickly begins to have ideas of his own that work out well. The team goes from being the laughing stock of the sport to suddenly being a top rated contender. There is really just one problem though which is that eventually someone is bound to figure out what is going on. Can Christie keep on being manager until they’ve won it all or is he doomed?

I think the only main problem I have with the film is that the conflict if a little forced. The team is winning ballgames now which is really the only thing the owner and coaches should care about. Why worry about who is giving the orders when the results are this good? I disagreed with Coop’s concerns throughout the whole experience but even worse is that the film gives him some ammo here with how the coach threw out the kid.

Midway through the film, the coach finally figures out without a shadow of a doubt that Christie is the brains behind the operation so he yells at the kid and fires him. You’d think that the players would say something the very instant they saw the kid wasn’t around or go to the owner right? Instead it takes a few losses before they storm the base and bring him back. It also makes no sense why the coach would do that since without Christie, he would be taking losses again and proving himself to be a bad coach. So what was the point of all of that? I didn’t feel like the film made a whole lot of sense in these moments and just made everyone look rather bad.

Christie did his part and the team should have had his back from the jump. Meanwhile Coop needed to be braver. It was nice to see him get all excited about working with Christie and being a secret hero of sorts but it took too long for him to finally get involved on the front end. Even right to the climax he was prepared to ditch the team which would have been rough. When the chips are down you have to deliver.

During the adventure there is a subplot with Pete who of course was in a huge slump before Christie showed up. His relationship with Marian is getting rocky as we come to the time tested dilemma of choosing his job or her. Marian wants him to leave the game because she figures he’s washed up and she might be right. Pete doesn’t want to just ditch his team in the middle of the season though and especially not when he’s suddenly had a big comeback. This time I felt Marian was not being very reasonable. Pete didn’t exactly have a lot of options here and he has people who are counting on him. I think Christie could have helped to train him up further and get the guy a few more accolades first.

So when the film gets dramatic is mainly when I had my doubts here but otherwise it is a fun Baseball film with a lot of action. This time you do get to see a whole lot of plays and any Baseball fan should be satisfied here. The turnaround is also believable since often times the difference between a big play and an error can really just be a single bad habit. These players were terrible because they had no coaching and didn’t really know where to start. So it makes sense that having actual coaches help out and show them the ropes would make for a huge difference.

If you want to get a bit technical again though, it is odd that no player ever complained about how bad their coach was. By all accounts he never even tried to teach them anything so isn’t that a good thing to mention to the owner? They should want to win too since it increases their salary so now I have to give them at least part of the blame. Look it’s not like I want to do this but it makes the most sense logically. The fake coach should never have lasted for even a fraction of how long he did.

Ultimately the film probably should have gone on for at least a few more minutes to really show us the ending but you can guess what would have happened next. So I was pretty satisfied all the way through and can confirm without a shadow of a doubt that this is a movie which puts Baseball first. The writing is good enough where you don’t mind the kid being one of the main characters. If you look at the film too deeply then some parts of the story don’t hold up quite so well but either way you’ll have a good time.

Overall, The Kid from Left Field is a good movie and definitely one to check out when you have the time. It’s a fairly short film so it’s not like it’ll take a ton of time and at the end of the day there’s not much to dislike here. While you will have to stretch your disbelief, you will be having fun the whole time which is what counts. I also am glad to see that snacks have come a long way since back in the day. Roasted Peanuts never sounded all that interesting, give me potato chips or something like that instead if I’m watching a game live.

Overall 7/10

Ghostbusters Afterlife Review

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All right it’s time for the next Ghostbusters adventure. An adventure that will absolutely shake you to the core. Well, that’s the idea at least. It’s a good title, still not reaching the heights of the original but you feel like we’re getting back into the swing of things here. It mainly decides to drop the humor in place of being a fairly serious title and works well. I think it will be able to get even better as the series goes on.

The movie starts with one of the classic Ghostbusters being taken down for the count by one of the ghosts. Poor guy never stood a chance! This means that the house is now empty though so due to his will, his daughter Callie gets to live there now. The timing is good since she is super broke and has to take care of two kids. The house is definitely in bad shape but that still helps with the bills. What Callie doesn’t realize is that she’s now living right in the middle of a giant concentration of ghosts and ghouls. Will she be able to knock the stuffing out of them?

So like I said there is definitely a trade off in tone here. The film wanted to go all in on establishing some real stakes and thrills here. It works although without the humor the film can sometimes just be a tad dull. That’s my only real issue with the film so for the most part it is pretty solid. It’s just a side effect of the kids being main characters the whole time since there’s not a whole lot that you can do with them for the most part. You also have to accept that they won’t be doing a whole lot when it comes time for action.

Of course you have the Ghostbuster guns though which helps to even things out quite a bit. For the most part the ghosts here aren’t too fierce until we get to the last one. The climax is actually rather great. I won’t go into details here but the stakes are pretty high because this ghost is able to resist the lasers to an extent. Yes, even when they cross the 3 energy blasts, this ghost keeps on fighting. That’s pretty much unheard of for this series so I was impressed and that’s the kind of energy I need to see from these villains. It does make you think that the Ghostbusters are going to need some power ups soon though.

The ending sets up the next film really well and gets you hyped for what is to come. It’s the ideal way to end the film because you always want to end strong. It’s even more important than the start after all. The soundtrack was also good as we do get the classic theme to play in this one. I definitely appreciated that and this one has a lot of fun referencing the original film so that was pretty cool. The world may always forget the kind of help it is getting in the background but the Ghostbusters will always be the secret MVPs out there. The extra touch of all the Youtube videos being super grainy is fun.

The best parts of the film always have to do with the old characters and the references though. When it comes to the main characters, they aren’t great. First you have Phoebe who has a hard time expressing her emotions and so she doesn’t have many friends. She meets a kid named Podcast and so they hit it off. Phoebe is still more on the socially awkward side but she is improving by the end of the film. I’d expect some good progress in the sequel. Meanwhile it’s admirable that Podcast has his own podcast and is so dedicated to the craft. He’s a nice kid and he did his best to keep Phoebe from being alone so that was cool.

Trevor is mainly crushing on Lucky the whole time and he never really seems to stand a chance for the most part. It was funny when he would get teased about this. It’s fairly weak as far as romance plots go but there’s not much time put to this plot at all so it’s not that bad. I tend to enjoy Lucky’s character more than Trevor’s as she is always punking him with different pranks. That was a lot of fun. The best was probably when she gave him a jacket to wear before saying that it was actually her boyfriend’s. Trevor really needs to start thinking of comeback lines and fast!

Gary and Callie have their own little romance plot going which feels way too fast and all but as characters they aren’t bad. Callie is doing her best to support the family even with resources being tight. You can appreciate the struggle and she is doing her best. Meanwhile Gary may be a super irresponsible teacher but he’s always got a quick wit about him and is funny. He supports the kids from the start and does good the whole time. Without him things would definitely be a lot different. It’s not like most of the ghosts can be defeated with physical strength or anything but at least he can give direction. Without him the kids would really just be scrambling a lot.

On the whole you still don’t care a ton about the humans here but the adults definitely surpass the kids. The special effects here are solid. The film doesn’t get to show off much until the end but the climax works. The monsters are a bit more on the forgettable side though. The only real solid one is the final boss. I didn’t care for the eating ghost and the Mini Marshmallows were too weak to really do anything. So you are watching the film more for the vibes than the villains.

Overall, Afterlife does a good job of bringing the series back to its roots and it does get me hyped for the next film. What you really need to do is have the characters get trapped in a haunted house or something and have to fight the ghosts. Even just focusing on the adults against more powerful ghosts could really work in here. It could be something like Men in Black. Either way though, I think you’ll have a good time if you check this film out while waiting for the next one. The writing is solid and it’s just a well made title even if it can be a bit slow at times.

Overall 6/10