Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

Rambo III Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

All right, we’ve made it to the end of the Rambo trilogy. The wheels are starting to fall off on this one. It’s actually still considerably better than the 4th film but that’s fairly easy. The sad part is that it easily has the best introduction out of any of the Rambo films. Rambo himself has finally found happiness. He’s an underground brawler who uses his skills in a non murderous way and has a humble living for himself. He uses the money to help out the locals and is a part of something bigger than himself. Naturally the government has to come and ruin that.

So basically Sam and the government show up to ask Rambo for his help once more. He wisely says no so they go without him and are quickly defeated. So Sam is captured and surprise….the enemies start torturing him. We all saw this coming already because this is Rambo and that’s how they set the stakes up really high. So the rest of the government shows up to ask Rambo to help and now it’s personal since Sam is his friend and Rambo takes up the call. Does he still have the skills to save the day?

The answer to that one is an easy yes. Rambo has always been a top notch fighter and that’s not stopping now. It is always good to see Rambo fighting and doing well of course but it’s just a shame that he can’t be allowed to ever have a good time for long. Sure you wouldn’t have a movie at that point with the same plot at least but throw in a multi year time skip like he was having fun for 5-10 years before they called him back.

One thing you will notice early on is that the pacing is incredibly slow though. While Sam is being tortured for the entire film in the B plot, Rambo spends the first 40 minutes actually getting to the conflict. First he has to trek through the desert, then he has to find the rebels, then they all get blown up, then he actually begins to fight. o the movie that you are here to watch about Rambo taking everyone out doesn’t happen until we’re roughly halfway through the film. That is an absolutely massive investment to make into the film.

It doesn’t help that the setting isn’t really my style either. In the desert it’s pretty much nonstop sand the whole time. It makes sense narratively as most of the war torn areas will naturally start to look the same but as a viewer I’d rather we’re in the big cities already. But yes back to the film, Rambo has to also play some local games before he can head out. It helps him bond with everyone but you also can’t help but feel like this was wasting a ton of time that allowed the villains to come in and take them down.

It’s not like you can live in fear or anything but you are in the middle of a war with enemies actively approaching so maybe now isn’t the best time for a game. The worst part is that apparently the game is really dangerous and it’s easy to get injured. Yeah this sounds worse and worse the more I talk about it. It makes no sense except as an excuse to have a big action set piece.

As always we do have Sam being the hype guy for Rambo which is nice but since he is captured the whole time it doesn’t help a whole lot. So if you’re hear for the hype then the first film does better. If you’re here for the action then the second film is more unrelenting. So this is just a weaker version. There’s also this kid who wants to help Rambo the whole time and it’s wholesome and all but he should be far away from the front lines here. Rambo does try to get rid of him as soon as possible though so props to him for that.

What I can say for the film as a positive is that the drop off isn’t dramatic. While it sounds bad compared to the first two films, it’s not like this is suddenly a 2 star film. It can be a little more boring but at least those scenes are moments where you don’t have to worry about a lot of violence or people being tortured so that’s a positive. Being boring isn’t great and that sounds like an insult in its own way but sometimes it can beat the alternative.

The action scenes do hold up well and the same is true of the special effects. The opening fight is the best part of the film like I mentioned before. It was a good way to re-introduce Rambo and show us how skilled he is. Considering how well trained he is and his athletics it would be nice to see him doing more activities like that outside of always being in a war zone. Maybe make him an instructor as a main plot at some point. Just anything but throwing him into another war torn battlefield. Styling on the enemy soldiers every time is great and all but surely you need some variety.

Overall, Rambo III is the start of the real decline for the series but we’re not at the bottom yet. I do think the series goes too far in establishing the stakes, relying on the same tools all the time but at least we do still have a great main character. The fights and action scenes are solid and when the film is going full blast it’s on point. It just tends to get sidelined the whole time. So if you like Rambo a lot then you should check it out but otherwise if you just liked the intro fight then you should watch Rocky to get the full film like that.

Overall 4/10

Rambo: First Blood Part II Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

We’re back to the world of Rambo. This time he’s on the offensive, ready to take down a whole squad of fighters. It’s nice to see him actually get to take on some villains this time and embrace the action setting where he can go all out but at the same time…this is still Rambo. So you can expect a heavy dose of violence the whole time with a pretty high body count. I would end up enjoying it more than the Rambo movies that would follow but it’s not exactly a high bar.

The film starts off by showing us that Rambo has been rotting away in a manual labor prison while Sam explains that he is still trying to help but it’ll take some time. There is a mission that Rambo can take on where he will be able to get a full pardon though. Yes this isn’t blackmail in the slightest! It’s purely a recon mission, Rambo needs to take photos to prove that there are prisoners of war over in Vietnam and then he has to get out. There will be no combat or anything like that.

Naturally this isn’t quite what happens. He ends up being thrown into a big fight and then betrayed by the rest of the unit. To Sam’s defense, he’s not the traitor here but he was played by the actual traitors which is almost as bad. This whole mission was basically a scam because the battle must go on and so Rambo is a casualty of war. The army is basically corrupt to the core in this film with Sam being the only decent member aboard.

This is one of those films where the corruption quickly gets very annoying though. Sam is muzzled very quickly despite being a fairly high ranking official in the first film. Yeah there’s always someone higher ranked but you still feel like he should have been able to do a whole lot more. Otherwise, what was really the point of getting such a high rank in the first place? Making him look helpless like this is just not a good look in the slightest. He ultimately comes through but it takes so long the whole time.

He’s still Rambo’s hype man but it would be nice if he could do a little more. Additionally I feel like the traitors get off rather easy here. Yeah someone gets hit but they do the whole “Don’t murder these guys or you’ll be just as bad!” which is always a bit on the iffy side. Especially in a down to Earth film like this because what that means is he can survive to mess more people over.

Sure we could assume he will go to jail and everything but if the corruption is this deep then that appears to be very unlikely. The fact that they were actively working with the soviets is just rough. Out of all the countries to be working with, that just looks incredibly bad.

Meanwhile on the ground front, Rambo does well as you would expect. Even by himself and incredibly outnumbered he takes down tons of soldiers and accomplishes his mission. He really never backs down and his training has really taken him a long way. Rambo makes for a good main character without a doubt and holds his own with any other action star.

The main heroine Co is also rather solid here. Things don’t go great for her which is pretty unfortunate though. She deserved a better ending. Ultimately in these films most of the characters don’t really get to last to the end outside of Rambo but this could have been a good exception. Additionally there are easy ways to write her out if you didn’t want her to be around for the sequel.

Rambo’s torture scene goes on for quite a bit as you would probably guess from the films. It’s basically not a Rambo film if that doesn’t happen to someone at least once. These films really feel like everyone’s worst nightmare about being caught in enemy territory. Your allies have abandoned you and you have no real chance of escaping. You’re definitely ready for his big escape and revenge montage of course but it’s a long road to get there. It’s the big weakness of the revenge thriller stories because you have to go through a lot to actually get to that point.

The villains are fairly generic. I thought that the villains in the first film left a lot more of an impact. The biggest villain here was probably the main army guy who was the lead traitor but of course he got off easy like I said earlier which was annoying. The real losers out of this were the other prisoners who were stuck in Vietnam. At least Rambo worked to save as many as possible but it all depends on how much you trust the government after this.

That’s why Sam should have been able to do more since it would have given you more hope in that guy. He should have at least have been allowed to bump off the main traitor villain because that would have given you a reason to think things were turning around. Hopefully he gets a better role in the third film…..

Overall, Rambo 2 really plays out like you would expect so I wouldn’t say that it’s misleading or anything. They double up on everything that made the original well remembered. There’s more action in this one, more revenge, and more thrills. Of course that also means the negatives stick around with it as well. Sometimes the trials the characters go through just overpower the positives and that’s the case here. Yes it will keep you engaged but there are enough violent moments that it’s not exactly a film you would really plan on rewatching. So ultimately I’m still saying to stick with the Rocky series over Rambo.

Overall 4/10

First Blood Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time to look at where it all started for Rambo. The guy’s definitely had to endure a whole lot over the years. It’s a bit more of a low key film than the sequels since it’s more about survival than nonstop fighting though. It can be a bit mean spirited though and some of the villains get off rather easy. Ultimately you can do a bit better for thriller films.

The film starts with Rambo approaching a small town. He finished a really tough tour in Vietnam and isn’t looking for any trouble as he passes through but unfortunately trouble finds him. Sheriff Will doesn’t take kindly to strangers and immediately gets aggressive. His corrupt deputies take sadistic pleasure in messing with Rambo as well to the point where they’re basically torturing him. Rambo tries to de-escalate things as much as possible but finally reaches his breaking point and tries to get out of there. He is still chased and in self defense fights back, which causes one of them to die. Will now vows to destroy Rambo no matter what and so Rambo will have to use his army training to take them down. The hunted has now become the hunter.

One thing I can say without the shadow of a doubt is that the premise is really good. A bunch of punks have basically picked a fight with someone who is far superior to them in every measurable ability. Rambo has actually been through a bunch of difficult situations and lived to tell about it. He’s had to hone his body and mind to their absolute peak in order to survive while these guys have likely never had to deal with a fraction of what he had to go through. Their attitudes aren’t justified in the slightest and they’re basically villains who have gotten ahold of some power. They’re lucky Rambo was as restrained as he was.

Throughout the movie he continues to take them down using non lethal means. I don’t think most characters would have been able to hold themselves back so much at that point. He does unfortunately take down the police dogs, rats, and other animals throughout the movie. There are enough scenes with animal violence that definitely take their toll on the film. Of course it’s self defense so you don’t blame Rambo himself but the film could have written its way around that too. The dogs are really paying for their corrupt owners.

In a way the film wants to keep from portraying Rambo as being too vindictive here but it’s part of what hurts the ending here. The whole cracking scene and speech at the end is intense but it feels like Rambo got the short end of the stick here. I do think that the sheriff and all of the main deputies needed to die by the end. At least show us some definitive punishment like they’re all locked up. It just seems like they got off easy even if many of them were seriously injured by the end, the death count wasn’t as big as you’d expect it to be.

It also takes away from the premise a little bit. In theory this is like a human predator movie with Rambo being so dangerous that he can take out a whole squad of men equipped with guns. You want to see him utterly dismantle the whole group but as a result there just isn’t a whole lot of time for that. I guess in a way we dodge some extra violence that way although the film is definitely still rather violent. Every quick cutaway to the Vietnam flashbacks is always intense after all and the injuries in the present are no picnic either.

You do feel the tension throughout the movie though as Rambo knows that making one mistake will mean his end. He has to play this absolutely perfect especially since he doesn’t want to murder anyone. He’s a good guy and the film certainly makes that clear. Will and the others are such over the top villains that you’re just rooting for them to lose. The best character in the film has to be Colonel Sam though. He works as Rambo’s hype man and the hype absolutely never stops. In every scene he is talking about how Rambo is on a completely different level and nobody can match him. It’s really quite impressive.

Again, this might be a case of the film not being able to live up to the hype there though as the way he hypes Rambo up, you’d expect him to take out a whole army. He still has a lot of difficulty here thanks to the self imposed restrictions and nearly gets murdered in the tunnel. I dunno, I guess I wanted more absolute domination after all of the speeches. It was always annoying whenever Rambo would lose ground. I did think Sam did not do a good job when he agreed to help Will and the others. He should have absolutely stuck to the “Get yourselves out of this problem” approach when they were being so unreasonable.

Ultimately Sam is good at his job and helps to de-escalate things but he could have just let Rambo go ham on everyone. By the end, the whole town was paying the price so you can see why he stepped in though. Either way this made for a good introduction and you can see how the studio would quickly want to make sequels soon. There’s a whole lot of ways you can progress from this initial plot although they never tackle the hunted theme again. Going forward you’re really going to see Rambo taking the offensive and destroying everything in his way.

Overall, First Blood was a reasonable way to start the series but is bogged down by the violence in general and also the animal violence. The lackluster ending/resolution for the villains also hurts. I get that they were law enforcement here but they were all super corrupt to the point of being gangsters so I don’t see any reason not to have them all bumped off. It’s a bit of a frustrating situation to be sure there. Well, at least it’s not like Rambo died or anything. Now that would have been an absolutely devastating ending.

Overall 4/10

The Land That Time Forgot Review

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It’s time for a dinosaur film with a group of people having to try and get along. You can probably guess how the latter goes but surprisingly the dinosaurs themselves don’t do much for a majority of the film. If anything it’s more about the cave people who tend to generally be annoying. Unfortunately this film uses time travel in the opposite way of how you would want it to be used. Ideally you always want to go to the future with lots of cool gadgets and awesome concepts. Instead it ended up going to the past which is not the direction you want to go. There just aren’t nearly as many possibilities to be had there.

The movie starts with a ship being destroyed and so only a few of the passengers manage to survive. They are able to use their quick wits to take over an enemy submarine though and after a lot of in-fighting they manage to get the ship landed on a mysterious island. This island is like something out of the prehistoric age. There are dinosaurs around, cave people, and basically no sign of modern civilization. This could spell trouble or the heroes could adapt to the place. They will need some oil in order to get the ship operational again but will they be able to survive long enough to do so? It will all come down to whether this group of adventurers can get along with each other.

Now I am poking fun at the idea of these guys all working together and that’s because there are a lot of reasons to hold grudges with each other. Half of the crew are British and the other half are German and they would quickly murder each other if given the chance. The Germans are the ones who blew up the British ship at the start and then now they were being held hostage. So resentment is quite high and they will only work together for as long as is necessary. If either side shows any sign of weakness then it is absolutely game over. There will be no coming back from that.

That’s why true teamwork just won’t work here. Yes a shared goal may sound like it’s enough but not when you know that the person behind you wants to absolutely destroy you as soon as possible. That just means you have to watch yourself carefully at all times. You don’t actually trust the person standing right next to you. In the film we see constant betrayals and the main group keeps on getting whittled down. Realistically if they were one tight unit then the film would have been over rather quickly. They would have easily been able to defend themselves from the dinosaurs, fight off the cave people, and get their oil. Instead all the bickering and arguing slowed them down a little too much.

The dinosaurs that we do see get to have some action and fights but they didn’t help the film. For one thing, the dinosaurs are not bullet proof at all so they’re getting riddled with bullets the whole time and dying. Their first death scene even takes forever which has one of the characters comment on it. It’s just a little rough to be seeing the dinosaur getting absolutely dominated like that. Typically you would expect them to be the scary antagonists right? Sure they do still scare everyone but you can’t take it quite as seriously as long as the guns are around.

So what you have is some extra animal violence here and that’s not even considering the dinosaur vs dinosaur fights. I would definitely recommend cutting the dinosaurs out of the film entirely since they don’t change much. That or just keep them in the background since the designs themselves weren’t bad. Meanwhile what also hurts the film generally are the cave people. Naturally it is hard to have a conversation with them due to the language barrier and so those scenes tend to drag on. We didn’t need the brief fanservice by showing us how the egg work with the tribe jumping into the pool and generally this is why I don’t care much for the past. It was less sophisticated and doesn’t end up being as entertaining.

Whenever the main characters were getting defeated I would be shaking my head. Yeah these cave people would be tough in close quarters combat but why take so long to ready your gun? Half the time the heroes were using the gun like a baseball bat rather than as a projectile. That’s definitely the way to lose a fight, it’s certainly not going to help you win one. I can guarantee you that! At least one guy remembered to flip the opponent and use his momentum against him. The rest were picked off like novices.

One thing I will give the film is that the writing is still pretty good. I at least liked the attempts at teamwork and there was some good banter here. Yeah you knew that the alliance was doomed but getting to that point was still written very well. It wasn’t like the characters were written out of character or that it was all contrived. I thought it was fairly realistic as to how this could all play out without diminishing the intelligence of any of the characters. So I definitely appreciated that.

Overall, The Land That Time Forgot is a film that’s not very good and large part it is due to the premise. I don’t think there’s a lot you can do about a movie going back to the olden days. It felt like the writers more or less knew what they were doing and they couldn’t save the concept. Even aside from the animal violence and the characters being more on the annoying side, I think the biggest issue was that the film could be rather boring at times. It feels long as you’re going through the movie and it would have been so much better if no such island ever showed up. Have the tension be about the characters needing to survive on a week’s worth of supplies with both sides getting more and more anxious about the situation. If you do that then I would argue that the whole movie would work a lot better. I know it is a completely different movie at that point though so for better or worse, that’s the way I can see to save this film. But hey it could have been a whole lot worse to be honest.

Overall 4/10

The Unsuspected Review

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It’s time for an old school mystery thriller. This one definitely has a lot of characters running around which helps to enhance the mystery angle and I would say that it ends up working out really well. There are enough characters here where you can really start making your own guesses on what happened and who the true culprit is. There are a solid number of twists and turns here so it will be tough to really guess it all correctly but trying to come close is definitely the main objective here.

So the movie starts with a lady getting murdered. She was actually on the phone with someone but completely panicked and so while she was being murdered she didn’t yell out the person’s name, description, or anything like that. In fact she dropped the phone so only a scream was heard which didn’t seem to bother the other person on the line nearly as much as you would have expected it to. We then get to the main house where there is a big party for Victor ongoing. Just about everyone is here and it should be all good except a mysterious guy shows up. His name is Steven and he claims to be the husband of Matilda, the lady who died out at sea.

Nobody has been aware of her being married before and as it happens, she was quite rich. So naturally her family were expecting to get everything and now this guy has shown up? Is he just here for the money and is this some kind of a scam? They’ll need to figure it out quickly and does this have anything to do with the murder of the other lady? More and more characters enter the plot as the film goes on and the main thing I would say is that this is one of those films where you really can’t rust anyone. They’ve all got an angle that they are working on.

Each character appears to have some kind of motive and most of them just don’t get along at all. You have Althea who stole Matilda’s boyfriend from her right before they were to be married so there would definitely still be some resentment there. Unfortunately he fell off quickly so now Althea isn’t even happy. Steven’s motivations are obvious of course, if he is faking the marriage then he is here for money and if not, then he may be out for some revenge. He appears to be digging into the recent “suicide” as well which raises more questions. I should mention now that unfortunately the opening murder was ruled a suicide since there was no evidence of a struggle or anything. It’s a shame because the whole movie wouldn’t have happened in the same way if the victim had just yelled anything specific before getting bumped off.

Meanwhile Victor is naturally a suspect for generally being shady and also not reacting much to any of the news. He reads a lot of murder mysteries and different thrillers over the radio so he has experience in these kinds of scenarios. The film tends to open up more questions as it goes on as well when the various characters begin interacting with each other. There are so many secret conversations, layered threats, blackmail, etc. Everything is happening here. That is where the film shines though. The pacing is very fast and they manage to squeeze in many different plots before the film is over.

Naturally the writing is also really good although that should come as no surprise. These old films always tend to have a great script and was crafted with a lot of care. Most of the characters are written to be rather unlikable but it is done in a careful way where they aren’t obnoxious or anything like that. You are rooting for things not to go tooo well for them but they’re not actively hurting the film in the process. For example Althea’s husband spends the whole film being really drunk so he’s annoying and someone to root against but the film doesn’t overplay its hand by having him show up dozens and dozens of times over to beat you over the head with how annoying he is. You get the basis of his character right away. Likewise you see how Althea is always chasing different men and can’t really be trusted.

The flaws that the characters have are rather obvious without being overbearing and that’s absolutely the right away to do it. So in short, the film didn’t really have any negatives for me. Yeah I still think it’s a real stretch how in the first murder the girl didn’t do anything even while she was already on the phone. That whole thing felt more than a little sloppy to me and the film should have written the scene in a different way. Just don’t have her be on the phone you know? I feel like in part it was there to be a red herring as well and the problem is that it’s a little too good as a red herring to the point where it almost becomes a plot hole of sorts. Plot hole is too strong since you can explain it away but all I’m saying is that the first scene doesn’t work all that well despite the rest of the film being really strong.

Also there’s a major plot point/whole storyline that I didn’t mention because the actual plot would be a spoiler in itself. All I’ll say there is that you always have to trust your own recollection or lack thereof rather than someone else’s story. Even if it might work out sometimes, you see so many characters being gaslit because they didn’t trust their own instincts. That is always a problem. Just trust in your instincts and generally everything will work out.

Overall, This is the kind of film where I try not to give too much away because all of the twists and turns as a primary factor in how much you enjoy the film. It’s why a repeat viewing will never hit quite the same way as the initial watch. Still, it is done well enough where you would still have a good time either way. I definitely recommend watching this movie and extra credit to you if you guess who the main culprit is.

Overall 7/10

Rambo Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version of the movie would be more negative.

Lets look at the 4th Rambo which just so happens to be the weakest one in the series so far. It’s definitely going for a dark angle right from the jump and that aspect of the film is quite unrelenting. It takes a long while until Rambo himself gets involved to fight back and it’s one of those films where even once the heroes win, there are a ton of casualties and you know there are other villains running around. There’s nothing particularly light hearted/happy about this movie which is rough.

The movie starts with a quick introduction to remind us just how evil the villains are. No worries they’re going to do this a whole lot as the film goes over but it’s definitely an awful way to kick the movie off in general. Instead of building up hype or getting you excited it is giving you reasons to want to avoid the film. Like why would I want to be seeing any of this? Well, we eventually cut to Rambo himself who now works by capturing snakes and putting them in the cages to get ready for animal cruelty fights. He is approached by a group of missionaries who want to head deep into enemy territory to spread the good word.

It’s a noble goal but unfortunately these characters are incredibly naive. The main pastor even believes that you cannot take a life even in self defense so when they are attacked by pirates he doesn’t do anything about it. He even threatens to get Rambo in trouble if he can. Needless to say, after Rambo drops them off at their designated location they are captured almost immediately. So much for that eh? Of course you feel bad for them, they’re just written to be such unlikable characters the whole time that it’s crazy. So the Church hires some vigilantes to go save them and Rambo decides to come along and do what he can. Are the missionaries even still alive by this point?

Well, only the power of plot armor is able to help them here because by all accounts they really should have been long dead. I’m not sure why the villains spared them for so long. They’re stuck in cages but mostly everyone else had already been murdered. I suppose they had the luck of the draw on that one. Not much of a consolation because their living conditions still sucked but at least they were able to last. Nobody else is so lucky so even while the heroes are heading over there to free them, we see countless people getting tortured and murdered. The film is going for maximum shock value the whole time so if you can picture a dark plot element then you are going to find it in the film.

Naturally all of the vigilantes tend to be rather crass and not very heroic at all. They are here for the paycheck and are happy to murder anybody but they don’t have any real kind of honor code. Rambo has to actively threaten the main one in order to keep him going or the guy would have left almost immediately. Rambo himself looks good at least. He does smash up a ton of the villains and shows why he is still one of the strongest agents around. He hasn’t forgotten his skills at all, that’s for sure. He’s on a completely different level even from the trained mercenaries.

The action scenes can be good when they aren’t being too try hard on the violence. When they do that is when they really start to lose the plot. Lets just say this is a regular occurrence in this film as well. The film is plenty violent the whole time even with the TV edits. So again the film is just trying too hard instead of letting the narrative talk for it. The problem there is that the actual plot isn’t very good either. Of course I have a lot of respect for people who go into these active war areas to spread the gospel and try to help out. It does feel like they’re creating more chances to become a hostage or get into trouble but if they can save anyone then it’s a win.

It doesn’t make for a great movie though. Even if you think of this like a power fantasy, the problem is that the first half is all about the villains dominating and having their way with the heroes. In no way is this a particularly captivating story and you want a film that’s fairly uplifting. Seeing Rambo beat up on the villains is the goal so you need to do that sooner. Focus more on the heroic comeback than on the villain slaughter to start things off. As a starting point you at least need to get rid of the opening montage showing off all of the villainous exploits.

Honestly the film has so may issues that it would still have gotten a fairly low score though. The Rambo series is just cooked at this point and it will be hard for it to make a true comeback. We unfortunately didn’t have the usual hype man for Rambo either. There are reasons for that but they should have invented a new character to take up the role. It may be a little cheesy but I always thought it was pretty fun and it made the films more memorable. Perhaps that aided in making this the worst Rambo title. There is still another one I haven’t watched so perhaps that will be even lower but we will have to see.

Overall, Rambo is a pretty awful film. It’s definitely over the top violent the whole time with a ton of dark themes and the film doesn’t allow itself to really have any fun moments. It’s a slog to get through and you can see why Rambo didn’t even want to get involved at this point. The amount of casualties and criminals appear to be endless so why even get involved in all of that if you don’t have to right? You absolutely get what he is feeling in all of this. So you should just skip this movie as well. It’s rather unnecessary and doesn’t really add anything to the series.

Overall 1/10

The Goodbye Girl Review

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It’s time for a rom-com that’s definitely got a good amount of drama in it. One of the main messages here I would say is to be careful who you decide to date because things can easily move sideways. Ultimately the film is entertaining and you’ll have a good time but you can’t really buy into the romance considering how much both characters hated each other for a while there. Well, mainly it was on Paula’s side towards Elliot but he didn’t really help matters.

The film starts by introducing us to Paula who has had a rough time of things. She and her husband divorced so now she takes care of her daughter Lucy by herself. She meets a guy named Tony who seems all right except for the fact that he is already married but Paula makes the terrible decision of getting with him too. Inevitably he ditches her shortly after. Additionally, he ends up renting out Paula’s apartment over to his friend Elliot. Paula has to vacate the place immediately and well she’s not happy about that. So when Elliot moves in, Paula decides not to move out. Can these two manage to get along?

Now both characters are jerks to each other for a while there but I will say I am a bit more sympathetic for Elliot here. The guy actually did pay for the apartment for several months in advance so yeah he does own the apartment. legally. The whole time Paula is giving him a ton of attitude but he’s actually being very tolerant since he really could have her kicked out. At the end of the day he is a good guy who doesn’t actually want to kick her out mainly because of the kid. I do think he’s restrained a whole lot so as not to make things tough for Lucy.

Yeah during the movie he retaliates a whole lot but I can’t blame him for that. Additionally he was expecting to have the place to himself so he could do whatever he wanted and now he basically has roommates. Paula starts giving him a ton of different house rules right out of the gate. Elliot quickly comes up with his own rules, some of which are a bit much I’ll admit. The morning yoga with burning incense comes to the top of my mind. Playing the guitar during the night isn’t a big deal if you ask me though.

Basically he’s trying for a reaction at times and Paula makes it really easy since she has a big reaction to everything. As for Paula, she’s been through a lot so you feel bad for her. You’d expect her to be a little less aggressive to be honest since she doesn’t have much of a leg to stand on here though. If she ever gets Elliot really upset he could really just kick her out since their whole temporary agreement isn’t legally binding in any way. She’s certainly been jaded by the men in her life but it has also removed her tactical experience. Every time Elliot messes with her she reacts in the wrong way, it’s almost funny how badly she is losing the battle initially.

Lucy is used as a contrast here where we see how she isn’t bothered by anything that he does. Elliot playing guitar through the night? Lucy doesn’t notice. Elliot starts chanting in the morning? Lucy notices but doesn’t care. Every single time Paula looks to Lucy to have a comrade in arms who is really upset but Lucy has already fallen asleep again or doesn’t really care. So Lucy does well I would say. She’s also very reluctant about having another man in the house and I don’t blame her since the last ones have all struck out. In that way I’d actually say she is being more sensible as well. The whole roommates to lovers thing just seems like a weak foundation for a romance if you ask me. Both of them are just charmed in the short run to have someone nice to talk to but that’s about it. It’s probably why Paula has been running through relationships.

Now I should say for a romance like this where both people are fighting, there are ways to make this work. Basically you can’t have either character go too far with how much they dislike each other. You establish that part of it is a defense mechanism and for the most part there should not be any prior baggage. Part of why this one doesn’t work is because for Paula at minimum this is the third guy. The squabbling romance works better when it’s an initial romance. Additionally it just doesn’t feel like there is any reason for each character to fall for each other because of all the bitterness here. I would say Elliot does put in most of the work here though. While Paula is still being rather rude and petty at times, Paula does his best like helping out with expenses and not intentionally messing with her. Aside from his early trolling with the yoga, he typically doesn’t start any of the fights. It still doesn’t make the romance work any smoother but I can at least say it’s not quite as fast as some other movies where it happens immediately.

As for each character’s individual plot, Paula is trying to become a dancer again but the problem is that she has been out of the game for too long. She’s gotten a bit too old and dancing is really a young person’s game. Ultimately she tries and it doesn’t work out which does make sense. It’s hard to compete with other dancers who have been doing this their whole life. When that doesn’t work she tries other jobs like being a car salesman but things don’t go too well. She is trying so you have to give her some credit there, it’s just tough to really get into a job sometimes with no prior experience at the ready.

Meanwhile Elliot’s definitely got a tough road here as well. He is an aspiring actor about to finally get his big role but the problem is that the director’s kind of a hack. He wants to butcher a production of Richard III by completely changing his character and personality. All of Elliot’s previous training and rehearsing has completely gone down the drain now. I’d be upset if I was him as well. Unfortunately the director does have way more power than the actor in this case. He tries to make the best of it and ultimately does get a few concessions from the director.

Overall, The Goodbye Girl is a film that’s fun enough. It tend to land more on the comedy than the romance though so the first half ends up beating the latter. It’s actually a decently long movie so at least there is plenty of time for the fun comedy before things get serious. With films like this it is always inevitable that the main two are going to get together no matter how improbable it is. You’ll be rolling your eyes a bit at all of that but the banter before then is handled well. I’d say the writing is on point as well and so this is a movie that I can recommend.

Overall 6/10

Kin Review

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All right so it’s time for a sci-fi film that could have started some kind of big franchise but ultimately that was not in the cards. Wasn’t even close to be honest since I never saw anybody talking about this film. It had some interesting ideas but the main problem is that you could make the case that the whole film is set up for the actual film. The cool sci-fi robot/aliens don’t get to do anything until the very end. In a way you could have easily cut the sci-fi stuff out and just made this a film about bonding with family and letting go of the past.

The film starts off with some robots running around and fighting something but no worries that won’t matter for a long time. The main plot starts by introducing us to Eli who is having a tough time at school. His home setup isn’t exactly great which doesn’t help matters. His step father Hal is a fairly strict guy who isn’t a bad person but he hasn’t done much to connect with Eli. He seems to have a tough time opening up and unfortunately he won’t get much time for that. Hal’s son Jimmy shows up one day as he’s finally out of prison but he wants some money to pay off a dangerous person he took a loan from.

Hal isn’t about to break the law so he says no but Jimmy ends up breaking into his shop with a few gangsters. Unfortunately Hal is gunned down during the battle so Jimmy runs off with Eli who doesn’t realize that Hal is dead yet. They are being pursued by Taylor who wants revenge for Jimmy bumping off his brother. A lot of drama going on for sure. Will they be able to stay safe with so many enemies around. Also, what does any of this have to do with the aliens??

So yeah like I said in the beginning, this doesn’t really have much to do with the sci-fi angle at all. The only element that is relevant is that Eli finds a sci-fi gun that one of them drops and this helps him out a whole lot. It can take down just about anyone in a single hit. It takes a little time to master the gun but it definitely comes in handy. Again though, it is something you could remove from the film and almost nothing changes. That’s why it feels like a really odd direction for this movie.

The climax ends up feeling like a completely different movie all of a sudden. We learn about different concepts and some crazy stuff happening in space but that’s all for the sequel. So a lot of potential here but that sequel’s probably never actually going to happen which just makes the whole thing even more pointless. At least I did like the visuals though. They did a great job on the armors and the future plot did sound interesting.

Now while that all sounds negative, I actually did like the movie. Because the foundation is good even considering the fact that the sci-fi part didn’t really add anything. First up, Hal’s actually a solid character. The film achieved a much better balance with him being a strict Dad but still a good person compared to many other films that cross the line and just make this kind of character an antagonist. He handled Jimmy well even if his son didn’t see things that way. Hal can’t just hire him out of the blue, it wouldn’t make sense and the guy was just trying to get him back on the right path. I do think he handled the robbery attempt rather badly but you can chalk some of that up to shock and part of it to underestimating his opponents.

Meanwhile Eli’s a good main character. It does take him a little while to get going but he is young so I can cut him a little slack. I do think he’ll end up being better in a hypothetical sequel. For now I can at least be satisfied with his heart being in the right place. He also ends up going all out with the alien gun which was good. When you’re being attacked you really can’t worry about holding back, especially when you are outnumbered.

Jimmy though, I did not like at all. I know he goes through the whole character arc about finally being mature and everything but it takes too long. He made way too many mistakes here. Owing all that money to a bunch of gangsters was a really bad idea, then taking Eli to a strip club, getting drunk, etc. He was really his own worst enemy in this film and made things a lot tougher for everyone. If he could have wizened up a lot sooner then that would have really made a difference.

Meanwhile Milly is a solid character. She does call out Jimmy for how irresponsible he is being the whole time. The guy definitely needed a lecture. The whole strip club venue did feel like a rather cheap attempt to get some fanservice into the movie though. It really has nothing to do with anything except to further show how far Jimmy has fallen but we didn’t need that. There comes a point where you make a character a little too unlikable after all and this is really that point.

As for the villains, I mean they’re basically just generic gangsters so there’s not much to say about them. Taylor comes across as not really thinking things through. His brother got shot because they started a gun fight so the whole quest for revenge feels like an ego trip. I would have much preferred fighting some aliens or something a little cooler at the end. The climax is only tense in the sense that Jimmy could get bumped off which isn’t the worst thing in the world. I’ll give the film props for having one of the cops actually help out a bit as opposed to everyone dying immediately though.

Overall, Kin is a reasonable action film. It’s at its best when it’s not worrying about the sci-fi stuff. Having the main characters be on the run from a bunch of gangters while the main character doesn’t even know they are on the run is pretty intense. Jimmy may be annoying but on the whole the writing here is good and there are definitely way more positives than negatives. The soundtrack could be decent at times and there aren’t a lot of issues to be found here. Just treat it as a solid one-shot and you should have a good time here.

Overall 7/10

Safe in Hell Review

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When you’ve got a title like this you already know that the main character’s probably stuck in a rather tricky situation. It’s definitely a film where the heroine has to go through a whole lot. There definitely is a lot of tension but I can’t say that it’s the kind that really helps to elevate a film. Ultimately there are very few likable characters here at all and it’s always hard for a film to really survive that.

So the movie starts off with introducing us to Gilda who has had a rough time of things. She has not been able to hold down a steady job for a long time due to one guy who basically blackmailed her into an affair and then his wife found out. So Gilda was blackballed from every industry and ended up becoming a lady of the night. Well, one day that guy returns and Gilda accidentally murders him in self defense. Her boyfriend Carl shows up just in time to save her from the police. While he’s not thrilled about what Gilda has been doing, he takes her to an island to hide from the cops for a while. He’ll go figure something out but she’ll have to stay on the island for at least a month. That wouldn’t be so bad except…this is an island inhabited by a bunch of criminals and degenerated and they’ve all got their sights on her. Can Gilda remain faithful amidst all this temptation and can she even remain safe?

So now you can see how none of the characters are particularly likable. They’re all just throwing themselves at her the whole time despite knowing that she is already with a guy. None of them have much in the way of class at all. Of course some are worse than others. The worst of which is a guy who shows up at the island later on after a plot twist. Definitely the kind of villain you don’t want the heroine to go easy on. Just bump him off and everyone will be happier off for it. He’s the kind of villain who actively brings down the quality of the movie.

Another thing that brings it down is the ending though. It’ really a rough way to go out and I definitely prefer for a movie to have an ending with a bit more hope. You basically have to stomach the fact that the villains won in the end. Perhaps not in all the ways they wanted but they still got a win which is absolutely undeserved. I get the feeling that the film didn’t want Gilda to have a happy ending after the mistakes she made but they were all under rather drastic circumstances. She’s certainly not without fault but is nowhere in the same league as the other characters. The whole film just doesn’t feel all that fair to her at all.

I’d argue Carl should absorb some of the blame here. He ditches her for months at a time on his job which always leaves her to fend for herself. Yeah Carl’s a sailor so he’s gone a lot but it seems like there is absolutely no way to reach him. So when Gilda was out of a job with no hope in the beginning, there was no way to reach Carl. Then when she was stuck on the island, there was no way to contact him easily again. She is constantly left on her own in the absolute worst circumstances. Now she does send a letter later on so there is at least a way to eventually reach him. Maybe she should have trusted him a bit more and reached out sooner but I get why she figured she had to stick it out. Ultimately she does still get more of the blame because she didn’t trust Carl when it counted. Sometimes trying to stick something out by yourself doesn’t work, particularly in a realistic setting like this.

So if she has to have a bad end, then that should apply to the rest of the characters. At least Bruno who ends up being just as demented as the other characters. In fact he was the second worst beyond the first guy. Nothing happening to him is really a shame. It’s like the film could have used an extra segment at the end. It is really short as it stands, the film is barely over an hour. So maybe extend this to 90 minutes and have an epilogue where various characters are taken out. Have a big revenge scene where Carl shows up and blows everyone away.

You could also have just included the moral of trusting him at the end. Instead of doing the false confession to get executed, have her make her speech which is when Carl shows up. Maybe have one of the other hotel guests reveal that he saw the whole thing with her being handed the gun. There are so many ways you could have written around the ending to have her actually make it out of there in one piece and given Bruno the chair instead.

Overall, Safe in Hell is definitely a pretty awful film. It’s one of those never ending stories of misery the whole time with a bad ending to boot. None of the characters do anything to actually help Gilda out which is where the film really fumbles the landing. With this kind of premise you’d assume that by the end most of the guys would actually be decent and would end up defending her. Maybe bumping off the corrupt cops or just lying about the whole thing when the real authorities get there. Just about any of those endings would have been more appreciated. Instead Gilda is consistently punished for her use of self defense in what I would call the most valid situations to use it. Definitely stay as far away from this film as possible!

Overall 2/10

Destination Inner Space Review

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It’s time for one of those classic creature feature films. You can always expect a whole lot of action out of a title like this. It’s a retro film that has aged well with solid pacing and a fun monster. I definitely won’t say that it’s out of this world or anything like that but it gets the job done. Your interest will be maintained the whole time and the simple plot makes for a good amount of replay value.

The movie starts with some kind of underwater object being spotted. It doesn’t appear to be a submarine or any kind of life that we have previously known. A few experts are brought in and Commander Wayne is ready to lead the team. Technically this falls more under the doctor’s authority than the marines so Wayne is a bit more limited in power than he normally would be but he is still ready to do what must be done. Unfortunately there is some drama though as a guy named Maddox is here and he keeps insinuating that Wayne did something really terrible a long time ago. It’s some kind of conspiracy that must not be uttered and it’s threatening to tear this crew apart.

While this is a creature feature film, you could definitely say that most of the stakes and danger actually come from the human plot. Maddox is really a loose cannon and definitely the worst character in the film. All of these passive aggressive jabs he takes at Wayne just feels really petty. It gets much worse once we actually find out the truth about his past. The guy was making a whole lot of noise for something that really wasn’t Wayne’s fault, even remotely. Seriously, the guy’s doing a lot of squawking when he should only be blaming himself. It makes him look super bad to be honest and I would argue that he never recovers from this. Just a really bad character all around.

The most surreal part of the film though happens once we’ve learned the tragic backstory. The heroine who likes Maddox suddenly says that she has gained respect for him. It’s supposed to be a touching moment since he just came clean about everything but instead you’re just rolling your eyes. You can’t take this seriously at all because one, it had to be completely dragged out of him. He was ready to keep up the pretense the entire time and blame Wayne for everything. He was actively lying about the events and if Wayne wasn’t persistent enough then this would have really gone sideways. It’s only after enough pressure was applied that he cracks. And second, it just makes Maddox look terrible.

Even if you make some excuses for the guy, at best you don’t lose respect. I don’t see how you could gain it though. So yeah that romance plot was pretty bad. Wayne’s romance plot wasn’t much better though. In his plot he tries convincing a girl to give a guy a chance. This lady is super jaded about men in general and I don’t blame her since Wayne’s first instinct when coming aboard the ship is to flirt with both of the women there. So it does make him come across as rather shallow I have to admit. This romance definitely doesn’t need to be in the film at all.

Wayne’s a solid main character aside from that though. He’s focused on the mission and doing his best to keep everyone alive. He knows what he’s doing which is more than I can say for most of the other characters. The main scientist/doctor here looks really bad. The guy is so concerned with getting a big discovery and achieving new science that he is willing to risk everyone’s lives without a good plan. The guy is actively getting everyone into trouble and does so very unapologetically. Having this guy around is really like having an enemy on deck. Things would have gotten a lot smoother without him.

Now how about the monster? Well the creature is definitely a lot of fun. It’s got a very colorful design and is an aquatic type creature like the Gill Man. The aliens are fairly high tech with the UFO and it made for a good antagonist. It is far from being the strongest villain on the block though. The humans are able to overpower this creature physically which does mean that it would be absolutely stomped/devastated by the average opponent. It would certainly not be going toe to toe with a Xenomorph for example.

The design is what counts though. It also got lucky with one of the humans pouring water on it so it wouldn’t die. Giving water to a water based alien creature is probably the #1 thing you should not do if you want to survive an alien encounter. The humans make a lot of pretty bad mistakes here but I would still say the writing itself is good. Sometimes characters are bound to make some really bad moves and that can be realistic in its own way. It’s not like these guys have to be super geniuses or anything like that.

Like I said earlier, the pacing is pretty good too. Things tend to move fast but you have to really enjoy the situation itself since the creatures take a while to do anything. This is definitely a film about the tension of the unknown and the human drama as much as it is a creature feature film. The action scenes hold up when they occur though and this film just makes for a good time. It’s really got everything I could want/expect from this type of movie.

Overall, Destination Inner Space has a clever title and this makes for a good movie. Even today the ocean is filled with mysteries and you can imagine a lot of spooky stuff being down there. Perhaps no humanoid aliens like this but it makes for a fun element. The movie isn’t flashy so don’t expect a bunch of giant explosions or anything like that. At the same time, what you can bank on is a lot of good fun. This is a film that delivers all the way and you aren’t going to forget it.

Overall 7/10