Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

Finger of Guilt Review

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All right it’s time for a Noir title with pretty good atmosphere and an engaging plot. There is something that holds it back though and that’s the main character. He really didn’t handle things all that well here and really dug his own grave at times. That makes it so that the villain’s plan feels rather convenient as it just should not have worked at any point.

Reggie is a guy who wants to have a good Hollywood career but he has no self control. The guy got into a big fight and ended up losing his job the first time around because he was messing around and had an affair with his boss’s wife. Not a very smart move right? Then after that he finally got married to the daughter of another person he’s working for but at least this time that doesn’t mean he was cheating. The problem? Letters have started coming in from a lady who claims to have been going out with Reggie. He denies it but his wife is taking this very seriously and is worried at this point. Reggie has to set this straight but part of him wonders if maybe this is real and he just forgot.

So this is where the story loses me a little bit. Every time this kind of mystery happens, the main character starts to wonder if maybe he’s crazy. Maybe somehow he did have a secret relationship with someone and forgot about it. You can see how crazy that is right? These characters get gaslit so easily and it doesn’t make any sense. You know if you did or didn’t do something and there’s no way someone should ever be able to convince you otherwise. It’s just really convenient for the villains.

Meanwhile, Reggie looks awful once he goes to confront her. For starters he is immediately flustered and even goes as far as to try and hide the picture of him that was on her desk. This just made it very easy for her to walk in and point out to the wife that he hid it for some reason. Odd behavior if they’ve never met before right? Reggie walked into her traps constantly. Then the worst part was when he decided to make the rumors true by actually cheating on the wife with this lady.

I feel like the film really skims past this when it’s an extremely big moment. Literally he just gets drunk and decides to get together with her. Later on he said it’s because he wanted to test how far she would go if it was an act but that’s just an excuse. Of course she would go far because it just makes her story better and better. This guy really did not think things through and so later on when he’s upset and complaining about how he did nothing wrong….it’s not true because he did. This guy has no self respect or decency about him. It just ends up all being a big mess.

This is a Noir mystery and part of the fun is in seeing how things will play out so I won’t go too far into the twists but what I can say is that the villains are super lucky here. Their plan just shouldn’t work in any sane universe. Usually in a film like this you would have the mysterious lady blackmailing Reggie which is what gets him to respond but that doesn’t happen here. She never asks for money or anything and just sends him letters so that he can’t report this to the police. So all he had to do was tell the wife that the person sending letters is lying and that’s it. It only became suspicious initially because he decided to try and hide the letters instead of immediately telling his wife about them.

Then later on, all he had to do was say that the lady was crazy and move on. Instead he takes her out to a bar without telling the wife and she catches him. It’s crazy misunderstandings like this that happen time and time again in the movie. There’s always someone walking in at the perfect moment to hear something and then the situation gets worse. Once the mystery is unraveled and we get to the actual villain, Reggie has just been compromised too much by that point.

The actual main villain is also super petty and whiny. There’s nothing much to like about that character at all. This may be starting to sound rather negative but basically it’s just that the character cast is really weak. Fortunately a Noir mystery is about much more than the characters. The writing and tension means that this is still a good title, just be prepared to be rolling your eyes a whole lot throughout the movie. You just can’t feel bad for the main character at all.

Overall, Finger of Guilt is a good movie but Reggie really makes things too easy. I would argue that the villains’ plan was about as flimsy as it gets. It revolves around a ton of very convenient things happening and Reggie handling them all in the worst way possible. The writing is still good otherwise but the whole thing doesn’t feel very plausible. At least we do get a little action in the end as they manage to squeeze in a fight. I wasn’t really expecting that at such a late point in the game so it was a pretty interesting way to go. I feel like I spent most of the review talking about Reggie because he’s so awful but it’s also because the plot of the movie is very straight forward particularly when I’m not really talking about the twists. It’s him trying to figure out what’s going on while also going insane the whole time. I would have given him a sadder ending to wrap things up to be honest. Even though she was one of the villains, the mysterious lady was a lot more likable than the protagonist.

Overall 6/10

Suddenly Review

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All right it’s time for an old school thriller. It’s a pretty fun film that goes by quickly and has interesting characters. I would say the weakest link is really the romance but that’s probably not super surprising right? I don’t think the film has the right approach on that part but the rest is good so overall I’d say we’re in the green here. It succeeds in the important ways.

The film starts by introducing us to the town of “Suddenly” where nothing really happens so the name is more on the ironic side. Everyone has a bit of fun with that part but what they don’t realize is that the town is about to live up to that name. See, the President of the United States of America will be passing by and so all of the different police groups are here to make sure nothing happens. After all they have gotten wind of an assassination attempt. The one problem? The assassins have already infiltrated the town and are keeping one family hostage. This house has the perfect angle to murder the President. Can the villains really get away with this?

This is a film where I felt like the villains would have been taken down before having a chance to fire either way but based on the ending maybe I overestimated the cops. The villains end up taking the sheriff and the head police officer so you figure that people will be searching everywhere for them right? Well, they do search a little bit but all it takes is for Ellen (One of the hostages) to assure them that the cops already left for these guys to walk away. Why not realize immediately that this wouldn’t be possible? They wouldn’t have deviated from the plan at the drop of a hat like that. It was a bit rough to see them outmaneuvered so easily.

Now as for the romance, yeah this is definitely the weakest part so lets really dive into this. The main heroine Ellen lost her husband 3 years ago and so now she raises her son Pidge by herself and lives with her father Pop. The Sheriff in town, Tod, is in love with her but she doesn’t want to move on from her husband. That’s admirable but he doesn’t see it that way. He tries to guilt trip her by saying that Pidge needs a son. Tod basically makes the case that she needs to get over it already and marry him. He has the gall to say that his offer won’t be there forever either and that she needs to stop letting everyone down. It’s crazy talk.

Tod seems to think that she owes him love because he’s been such a nice guy the whole time in helping her out and everything. That’s definitely not cool, I would expect a lot better from him. At the end of the day you can be the nicest person everywhere but that doesn’t mean you deserve a girlfriend. It’s just not the way that the ballgame works. So he was real annoying there and from that point on I was really not rooting for them to be together. Additionally you have to consider that he was openly defying/undermining her at every turn.

He knew that she didn’t want Pidge to be playing with guns and yet he buys the kid one anyway. Ellen doesn’t watch him to watch war films but Tod says that it’s okay. The worst part is that it’s portrayed like Ellen is making the mistake here as she has gotten a little too paranoid after her husband was gone but these are very reasonable requests. Also she is Pidge’s mother so she should be able to make the call on what’s objective.

I’d even say that Pidge isn’t ready for these things based on all of his outbursts. He makes so many mistakes and nearly gets everyone murdered in this film. The villains tell him not to yell? Pidge yells. Then at one point he runs to grab his fake gun which won’t work anyway and he talks really tough the whole time but can’t back any of it up. That’s a big issue as well. Yeah he’s a kid so he can’t fight but then you have to stay quiet and listen to orders. All he does is create trouble which gets old fast.

Pop is quick on the uptake at least but doesn’t do a ton here. He’s just a little too old to get in on the action but he does help come up with plans. Ellen is mainly a little too scared to do anything for a while so that leaves Tod. Tod would have been more helpful but he takes a bad injury when he is sneak attacked near the beginning which hampers him for the rest of the film. Yeah that was definitely real inconvenient which was a shame. While I didn’t care for him in the romance bits, he did a good job of talking tough in the movie while being able to back some of it up. He was actively thinking of plans and contributing so I give him the most credit here.

In general it’s the cops who don’t look great here. They just never take out their guns in time. at one point the villain is on the run and you figure they can take care of him since he’s injured and alone. Instead what happens is that he just shoots them. This guy takes out several opponents before they finally put him down. When you have a murderer on the loose and armed you really have to shoot first. Running out and yelling freeze or something like that is never a good idea.

Meanwhile the main villain John is definitely memorable. He’s a very intense villain all the way around and one that really does command respect. He is smart and tends to be 1-2 steps ahead of the other characters. He even gets a bit of a backstory which I was not really expecting the whole time. The other villains may have been more forgettable but this guy did good. That helped make all of the scenes at the house even more engaging.

Overall, A film like this always gets you thinking about how you would act in a situation like this. As Todd points out in one scene, they are effectively already dead. When you’re kidnapped in your own home like this, you have to try something because the alternative will be worse. Even if you die, you at least make sure that the villains would go next. Additionally you need to make sure that your attempt is bold enough so that you actually do die and don’t get left alive to be tortured or something like that. So there’s definitely a good amount of tension here and the script is solid all the way so you never get bored.

Overall 7/10

The Company of Wolves Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version of the film would be more negative

Oh noooo it’s time for a film about wolves. Let me tell you something, these films tend to be rather lackluster at best but this one really takes the cake. It was just so bad on every level. From the plot to the violence to the characters, it was all so bad that I had tears in my eyes. You will want to avoid the movie at all costs. Get out of there as soon as possible, it is definitely not the way to go.

So the movie starts with a girl getting ready to go to sleep. She goes to sleep and everything starts moving and getting all trippy but we go back in time for another girl’s sister gets eaten by wolves and then the grandmother of the first girl tells her a story about how men with unibrows are evil. From there we lose the plot further as we have tons of stories inside of other stories with wolves murdering everybody and it just goes to show that you are not safe anywhere. It butchers the little red riding hood story so hard on every level.

Lets start jumping into the negatives here. First we have the obligatory animal violence. The wolves like to eat just about anything of course and so that does include a poor cattle that was simply minding his own business. The scene is surprisingly graphic but it gets less surprising as the time goes by. Why? Because the whole film is thriving on shock value. The transformation scenes are easily some of the most graphic that I have seen. It’s pretty crazy seeing the guy just bleed himself into a wolf. That was super crazy but more grotesque than scary. Then in another one you have a wolf coming out of the guy as if the human skin was just a suit. This one was creative though so I will say that the special effects were really good this time.

Reminds me of when Reverse Flash jumped out of some guy’s body in the CW show. That was weird and spooky without being grotesque so props there. It’s just that the props I give the movie are always very far and few in between. For every decent moment like that there are a ton where you will be shaking your head. Lets go back to the romance angle for a minute. So we’ve got this villager kid who likes the main heroine and he’s always going after her but his persistence makes him feel more like an antagonist than a good character most of the time. He basically steals a kiss at one point and she has to shove him away and he doesn’t get the hint.

They play up the fact that he’s naive but as the saying goes, no means no. He needs to accept the rejection and keep it moving. It does lead to a quick fight between the fathers which was fun but yeah that character was awful. Then in the segment with the grandmother, you’d think the girl would have more of a reaction to her grandmother being eaten. She doesn’t react as you would expect her to which will make you grown as well. That’s not a small offense, that’s literally murdering a member of your family. Pretty crazy you know?

The grandmother is so mean to everyone that it can be a bit funny. She’s constantly intentionally scaring the kid with all of these violent stories and generally being a bit of a jerk about it. My only problem here was that when it came time to actually prove her abilities, she got folded immediately. Yeah she’s old but where’s her gun or at least some kind of a dagger? She was completely unprepared despite being the expert and that was disappointing. Felt like the whole plot was rather useless as a result. At least that’s the way I see it.

Now it is clear what message the film is going for. Don’t let anybody take you away from the straight and narrow path. Don’t trust anyone since all strangers can be evil. The grandmother throws this message in constantly and you can assume the wolves are basically a metaphor. The problem is that a big message can’t save a film and it’s really just an excuse to have all of these stories. At the end of the day it doesn’t help to make them be any more connected and the film is a real bore as a result. You know that the humans can’t do much here. Yeah they can shoot one but usually it will have bit someone else who can transform.l

The humans will always be on the backfoot here and due to the anthology format, it’s not like they can get a final win anyway. All in all, this film definitely did not do anything to make me all that impressed with it. Instead it just did the opposite. I don’t think that it would have been much higher if it was all one story but probably would have been better than a 0 at least. Maybe we could have stayed in the modern day which is an infinitely better backdrop than the olden days here. The olden days with werewolves is a super bad combo.

Overall, This film was pretty bad. At no point in the film was it cooking up a good story or developing any good characters. Everyone here is on the annoying side, the romance is dreadful, and the violence is definitely over the top. I didn’t really get what the point of the whole thing was. Surely they could have thought up a better script than this right? I think the movie got a little too ambitious with all of the stories inside of a story. Having it all be chronological would have helped but even then, anthologies are always the worst kind of format. You should really have more confidence in telling a complete story.

Overall 0/10

Nosferatu the Vampyre Review

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Oh no, we’re back to vampire world. As you can probably expect this film is pretty bad all around. The characters are sloppy and the main villain is anything but intimidating. The whole time he’s on screen you’ll be shaking your head because he’s just not really a threat. If the characters could learn how to throw a decent punch it would all be over for him but unfortunately they don’t have the speed feats needed to take the edge here. It’s a real shame when you think about it.

The movie starts off with Jonathan being given a big job from his employer Renfield. He has to go over to Dracula’s lair and sell him some real estate. The place is rather far but it’ll pay well so Jonathan goes even though Lucy begs him not too. She has seen visions of his this will go badly but he doesn’t care. He wants the money asap! Everybody is scared or Dracula though so he can’t use a horse and as a result the trip takes months. Not a great amount of luck there but at last he has made it. Dracula seems rather spooky the whole time though as he keeps on staring at Jonathan. Jonathan is sloppy and cuts himself which causes Dracula to go crazy and eventually Dracula decides to go take down his wife Lucy. Jonathan has to try and make it back home before Dracula but it won’t be easy now that he is super ill. Additionally a plague is going to be wiping out the place in short order.

Where to start with this one right? The bloodsucking is pretty awful as always. The heroes never put up a fight and just take it. Jonathan for example just stays in his bed as Dracula gets closer and closer. The guy barely even reacts as he is knocked out. Then the same goes for Lucy who is unable to do anything. Those scenes are super annoying the whole time and you’re always waiting for someone to break the cycle. In the end I would argue the heroes didn’t do much of anything and Dracula just got sloppy. I can’t even give Lucy much credit there because you’d think Dracula would be hyper aware of what time it was.

He’s just sloppy in general. Jonathan even had a good time to finish him off earlier but got spooked. This is one of the slowest incarnations of Dracula and he isn’t particularly impressive physically. There’s no way anyone should be afraid of him. His design is certainly very sinister but more in a completely insane, psychotic way as opposed to being threatening. Jonathan should have just knocked the life out of this guy. The fight should not play out any other way.

Also this is where the slow burn approach fails because all the scenes of Dracula staring at everyone is more annoying than it is scary. It will bore you to tears the whole time because it all feels so unrealistic. I don’t care if he’s using some kind of hypnotism, just break out and take him down. Every time they just stand/lie there you know how the scene will play out and it still takes forever.

Then the whole town plot with the plague is pretty boring as well. Basically a bunch of mice start coming around and the villagers know they are doomed so they all start to eat and just give up on everything. Surely they could have tried something before throwing in the towel right? Instead they did absolutely nothing and that was a shame. The ending is surprisingly grim for the heroes. It looks like evil has won out this time and if the cycle continues then it’s just going to keep on happening over and over again. Even Van Hellsing didn’t look particularly great here to be honest. His role is rather small and he just didn’t have a whole lot of confidence. He’s a far cry from the more action centered version that I am used to.

As the main heroine Lucy nis okay and she definitely has some guts but I was still expecting a little more out of her. I’ve already talked about Jonathan enough but the guy is super annoying and should have heeded Lucy’s warning. If not, at least get out of the house right away after getting the papers and don’t just let Dracula stare at you the whole time. Renfield is definitely at his most insane in this version and he was an interesting character. I can’t say that I was able to take him very seriously though. It’s not like he has a lot of raw power or anything and he’s no genius. He just gets lucky that the cops are not particularly careful so it’s easy for him to break away. That was extremely embarrassing.

Then Dracula is rather dull and boring. So yeah there’s not much here to make this film all that good. It’s one of the most boring Dracula movies that I’ve seen and that’s even considering that it still hits all of the usual negatives like excessive violence and a lot of blood sucking. It’s very rare that there is ever a good vampire film and this will certainly not end up being one of the exceptions.

Overall, I highly recommend skipping this film. It’s way too slow paced and unrealistic the whole time. If Dracula himself looked more powerful then at least that part could be believable but instead he looks flimsy enough to just toss away and that would be it for him. The guy is super slow as well. So if you’re in the mood for a thriller film, definitely skip this one as soon as possible. You absolutely do not want to be anywhere near this film unless you’re ready for a good nap. In that case then we have an exception on your hands.

Overall 1/10

The Chosen Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Oh no, it’s time for another one of those horror films with the evil kid running around and bumping everyone off. The Chosen starts out on a rather weak note and never really gets better. It at least has a bit more of a plot than titles like the Omen but unfortunately that’s still not enough to save it. The characters are annoying, the film decides to get needlessly violent later on and the whole film just sort of feels inevitable. Like it’s going to keep going through all of the same tired story beats you would have expected at the start of the film with the main characters having absolutely no influence over what’s going on. Like watching someone order a cheeseburger and eat it. No matter how many people line up outside the store and tell him to stop, he’s going to keep eating it the same way he always does.

So the film starts off with Robert breaking into an old tomb and seeing some creepy designs in there. He’s going to proceed with the project though and they blow a lot of stuff up. Basically they are trying to set up a bunch of nuclear energy stations to take the world into a new era. It’s going to be brilliant or at least that’s what Robert thinks but most people are against this. They feel it’s way too dangerous and people will die. The more supernatural folks also think this is a bad omen and they shouldn’t be messing around in this sacred area. Robert’s son Angel is really enthusiastic about the project but he is really the only supporter as even Robert’s wife is against this. In fact she nearly shuts down the project but is quickly murdered by a terrorist who broke into the building trying to get Robert. Is this pure coincidence that now Robert can proceed with the plan or is something nefarious at work here?

Don’t worry if you miss some of the symbology at work here. The film makes sure to slap you in the face with the parallels every time they come up. 10 towers? BAM! Flashback to the speech about the number 10 being demonic. Robert’s wife may have been accidentally murdered? BOOM! Flashback to show that Angel made sure to guide the blade to hit her. Robert’s not sure if this plan is really demonic? KABOOM! Time for a super long dream sequence where he merges with the sand, gets crucified, dies in the ocean, gets blown up a few times, has to run around naked, etc. The film is really proud of how it manages to tie everything together and so it won’t let you miss a beat. The film made sure to have a fairly long runtime so you’ll be here a while.

Look, I have a ton of issues with the film so let me talk about the one thing that was decent and that’s the story. Like I said before, usually there’s not really a story here. It’s just the Antichrist beating everyone up for the duration of the film and then it ends. In this one we actually have some political drama as Robert tries to get people on board with his plan. The fact that it is so unpopular is a bit of a twist because usually in these films the plan would be popular and at the end he has to find a way to stop it. Instead the plan nearly falls through so many times and Angel has to keep on using his powers to make things right.

It’s annoying that Robert takes so long to decide to shut it all down though. The amount of evidence it takes to convince him is absolutely crazy. Especially since he had doubts fairly early on, why should it take so many tragedies to get to him? I will say that it makes Angel look bad though. He’s got tremendous cosmic abilities and all, but he can’t just make the plan be popular? No mass telepathy or reality warping this time? He has to keep on doing flashy murders to get the plan on track but you wonder why it’s all necessary. Maybe he’s just messing with the characters or it’s all a game but it is odd and also annoying because it’s just stretching the film out.

Naturally as the main villain Angel isn’t meant to be likable and the film does a good job of that since he’s annoying from the jump. He’s basically a fake yes man who acts supportive but is always ready to take the reins from Robert. You’d expect nothing less from him. The guy gets so overconfident that he really lets his guard down for the final scene. That’s good because it made for a very satisfying ending. I definitely did not want to see Angel on top.

Unfortunately the characters who are supposed to be the heroes aren’t very likable either. First up you have Robert and the guy is way too fixated on this project of his. If everyone is saying that it’s a bad idea then maybe it is. Of course that’s not always true but messing around with Nuclear energy isn’t really a good idea. He then finds a new person shortly after his wife dies which was pretty bad. By far his worst scene though is when he attempts to trick Sara into murdering her baby. Seriously there’s no way around how bad this is. You absolutely cannot make someone abort their baby by force and expect to be called anything but an absolute villain.

Yeah he had reason to think this baby would also be evil but there’s no way you can just murder a baby like that. It’s going way out of bounds and I don’t see how Sara could ever trust him again after that. It was an extremely bad look. Meanwhile Sara is also not great here. I don’t see why she made such a big deal about going to the church but surely she could have talked it over more. Again here I’d also say that she should not have trusted Robert at all. It’s not a touching moment to see her going back to him, it’s just annoying. She needed to cut him off completely after what happened.

It’s too bad because she was a nice enough person but it makes her seem more like a pushover than anything. Also this is a nitpick but I don’t see why she invited both Robert and Angel to announce that she was pregnant. Seems to me that this is such a personal private thing that you would only tell your husband/wife first. Everyone else can find out later on. Just seemed super contrived as a way to have Angel there to mess around when he had no business being in the scene.

As I mentioned the film could get rather violent as well. Each death tends to be quite over the top as they are smashed to bits, ripped into pieces, etc. Nobody gets an easy death here and they’re also very predictable. You know that they don’t stand a chance each time. It’s one of the big problems with having a villain who is all powerful like that. With no weakness there can be no fight and with no fight that means there can only be a slaughter. Some films at least pretend that the heroes have a shot but this was not one of them.

Then there’s also the subplot with the crazy people running the asylum. Their scenes were all extremely forced and it’s beyond annoying that they showed up to beat Robert up some more in the climax. I dare say the film would have dropped to a 0 if they had murdered him there. But even without that, it just makes no sense that he would escape again. That prison needs better security and it’s good that Robert knew self defense or it would all be over.

The problem with the Chosen is that this is not even remotely a fun film. There are no good scenes to be had here and you’re just waiting for it to end. The movie tends to be very mean spirited and everyone goes through a lot before it’s over. The ending at least delays things but it still not what I would call a super happy ending. I also think that including the scene of Robert being complicit in trying to drug Sara so she can have the abortion was a really bad idea and does hurt the film significantly. That should never have been included.

Overall, The Chosen is a pretty bad film. It relies on lots of shock value and grisly murders without the substance needed to back it up. The film is also not very subtle so even when it tries to pull some plot twists it doesn’t work because the film showed its cards early. To be honest there’s not much that the film could have done to turn things around and actually be good. That just wasn’t going to happen but you always like to hope that the film could have been a little better. Give us some fun moments next time and provide the heroes with some kind of a chance. Otherwise it’s all pointless.

Overall 1/10

The Flight That Disappeared Review

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It’s time for a suspense film involving a plane that has a very supernatural experience. It’s a fairly short film but one that is pretty interesting all the way through. I would have liked a certain part of the film to have been extended a bit more involving a trial but in the end I was pretty satisfied.

The movie starts out with a bunch of characters boarding a plane for Washington. Among them, 3 in particular are going to a very important meeting. Tom, who is an expert rocket scientist, Marcia, one of the world’s greatest mathematicians, and Carl who is a top tier inventor, particularly in the art of making bombs. What reason would there be to have all 3 of them in some kind of big meeting? Well, there’s no time to find out as the plane suddenly begins to elevate higher and higher into the sky. The pilots have lost control and if they can’t find a way to rectify this soon, everyone is going to die from lack of oxygen or an eventual crash when the engines turn off. Is this some kind of conspiracy?

This film’s got that old school suspense kind of vibe to it as you really don’t know what is going on. Of course you can make a lot of guesses and try to reason things out but most of the movie is really part mystery in figuring this out. The characters aren’t able to get very far in this but to their defense, it wouldn’t really be possible to do that in the first place. Not with the way this scenario is going at least. By the end we get our answers or at least some of them and it’s fun but that’s the rushed part.

So I won’t say what the answer is to the mystery of why the plane has lost control but it introduced a bunch of concepts and a very interesting storyline. The problem? This is only around for about 10 minutes max and then the film just keeps on going. I’m thinking the idea is that this way you will really be left in suspense wondering what just happened but personally I wanted to see more of this. Get some deep philosophical and ethical discussions going with a good amount of back and forth. Due to the length of the scene there just isn’t time for any of that and I can’t help but feel like that was a missed opportunity.

As the main character Tom isn’t bad but he does feel a bit desperate at first. He doesn’t make it 5 minutes without immediately hitting on the girl sitting next to him. Can’t he just ride the plane silently and focus on the journey? At least he is a bit quicker on the uptake than some of the other characters but comes dangerously close to getting himself arrested by the end. I wouldn’t say there is a lot to his character but for this kind of story having an average joe will suffice.

Then we have Marcia who tolerates Tom well enough and by the end you get the feeling that a rushed romance might be forming. She doesn’t always look very smart though like when she tries to smoke inside of the plane when they were already informed that oxygen was light. Not a great look for her there. From the 3 geniuses I would say she gets the least to do but she is still a primary figure in the movie and is always around.

Then we have Carl who builds bombs which is a pretty tough job since there’s always that feeling of guilt when someone is hit by one. He seems to really dislike bombs and the fact that they are used at all. He was definitely not in agreement with one insane passenger who really wanted to use the bombs and fast. That guy was so insane that is was a bit funny next to the rest of the characters who were all fairly serious and reasonable. Carl didn’t even want to talk to anyone for most of the film but by the end he’s ready to hang out with the crew.

The film does have a super random subplot involving the co-pilot getting ready to marry the stewardess. I don’t really get what the point of it was. The whole time I was expecting one of them to get in on the mystery which would make sense but they’re basically just observers the whole time. Maybe it was all to be a misdirect or that was a big enough role where they felt some kind of extra backstory would be helpful. It just felt so random that I was still surprised by the end.

The ending is definitely solid. It throws in a bit of humor here and also adds enough substance to end things on a solid note. Even this you could expand on a little bit. I would argue most of the scenes for the pilots could have been switched to add more to the ending or the big climax. Either way that would have been a good idea. Although the scenes were good for helping to give the audience more of an idea on what was happening so maybe the real idea here would be to have the actual film just be longer. This way you don’t need to cut more things and instead you just build upon what was there. There’s absolutely enough of a solid story to easily make this 100 minutes or so.

Overall, The Flight That Disappeared is a pretty good movie. It’s a fairly low key thriller that keeps you filled with suspense without needing a bunch of explosives or anything like that. As a result it is probably fair to say that this is still more of a slow burn thriller but as long as you are fine with that, the payoff is executed well. I would recommend this film to anyone thinking about riding a plane soon. They actually go fairly in depth on things like the height and how often you have to call mission control.

Overall 7/10

Primrose Path Review

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Now when you see the score you may be thinking that’s pretty harsh. This isn’t a horror film or anything like that so what gives here? Well, the main problem is this movie really brings out the worst in all of the characters as far as the romantic context is concerned. I’ll dive into this in a moment but you just can’t picture there being a happy ending for anyone.

The movie introduces us to a family that is in a rather toxic situation. The father is a drunk who is out of a job and has basically given up on ever doing anything productive with his life. His wife goes off cheating on him constantly in order to bring home some money so they can have some food. The grandmother basically hates happiness and so she has a personal vendetta against everybody. The youngest daughter is incredibly spoiled and rude to everybody. Finally you have the eldest daughter who serves as the main character, Ellie. She has never really seen any guys who interested her and she does her best to help support the family by finding clams and such to eat. Unfortunately one day she is hit on by a guy who works at the local deli and he steals a kiss. She is now unable to focus on anything else and decides to emotionally blackmail him into marrying her through a web of lies and a false suicide attempt. How can this romance go wrong?

It’s hard to know where to start with this one but it’s clear from the jump that this romance is a bad one. Lets dive more into how she ropes Ed in. Basically Ellie pretends that she has been kicked out of the house by her family and will have nowhere to go if Ed doesn’t marry her. Additionally she acts as though she is doing to drown herself if he doesn’t go with her. It puts him in an extremely difficult position and the worst part is of course she lies to him about the family in general. As far as he knows they are all upstanding citizens but the problem is that everyone else knows the family’s true personalities and status.

This is inevitably going to blow up and Ellie shouldn’t have led off the way that she did. Yeah she probably would not have gotten him to marry her but if you have to force that into action then it’s not a true romance. Meanwhile Ed also does a lot of bad stuff here. For starters he is way too aggressive when he first meets Ellie. Taking a kiss was completely out of bounds and the same goes for taking her clams which forced her to accept his offer of a drive. The fact that she is so cautious about getting into another man’s vehicle is a good thing but here he is trying to tell her that she shouldn’t be so stuffy.

Additionally he doesn’t handle any of the twists very well either. One of the first things he does upon learning that she was lying is “Revenge Cheating” by going to the club and having an affair. If a guy goes that extreme so quickly then there is really no going back from that. Prior to that maybe both characters could talk things out but you can’t take back cheating. Once it happens then it’s all over. He also went and scratched her name off of the boat he was building and humiliated her in front of the whole club. Again you can’t really take these things back.

It leads to another cycle of revenge as Ellie goes out with another man to make Ed jealous and it becomes a whole scene. Basically when you have drama in a romance it can be fairly serious but you should never do something that is impossible to come back from. This film was just too mean spirited the whole time so that their making up by the end is incredibly unrealistic. You won’t believe it and none of the characters should in the slightest.

I was also expecting some kind of a redemption arc for the father but it never happened. That was surprising but I guess it goes to show that the family just isn’t going to change in the slightest. If anything I dare say that Ellie shouldn’t have returned in the first place. By the end she is definitely obligated to help but before that it was a clean split and one that I don’t think she needed to try and fix. Her decision to head over to the house at all was baffling because with all of the lies in place, did she really think that Ed wouldn’t have found something out? These weren’t small lies, they were big ones.

The whole lie of the family kicking her out for example. That is bound to come up during dinner as Ed would make sure that it did. So the writing here was a bit awkward. In general the writing could also be a bit repetitive but in part that’s due to the way Ellie and Ed talk to each other. It’s like they have to repeat each other’s line as a statement each time and so they don’t make a lot of progress sometimes. The film’s story can still be interesting but I found that it went way too far every time. I’d argue it should have just gone for the sad ending at that point since it already had the perfect setup for that. I prefer happy endings of course but you can’t just reverse on a dime and expect it to work.

Overall, Primrose Path is not a particularly good romance film. It’s not a particularly good film in general. It makes way too many mistakes the whole time and the characters are too far gone. The only likable character is the old man who helps Mary out when she needed a ride and is generally supportive the whole time. In fact I would say he was the only character who didn’t have a bunch of big flaws the way that the others did. He was someone you could count on. So yeah definitely skip this film and check something else out instead.

Overall 3/10

Safe Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

All right it’s time for a classic action thriller kind of a film. That said, it does take a while to get going so you would actually think it’s more of a tragedy drama for the first half. Once the two main characters are united then we are in business with a lot of big action scenes though. I liked how the film had a ton of different players and factions involved which helped make the whole thing feel very grand but on the other hand the film just doesn’t stand out a lot. So it was good but I think a lot of it is gonna be fairly forgettable pretty soon.

So first up we have the plot with Luke. He used to be a cop but stuff happened and now he competes in underground boxing fights. Unfortunately his opponent was really weak so by mistake he won the fight with a single punch when he was supposed to lose. So the mafia retaliates by murdering his family and have decided to make his life a living hell until he destroys himself. Luke does his best to hang in there but they are true to their word and keep murdering anyone he talks to. Just when he decides to check out, he notices shady figure chasing after a little girl and decides he needs to help her first.

This takes us to our second main character, Mei. Mei is a super math prodigy with a photographic memory for numbers. She never forgets a number once she has seen it and so the villains want her so she can remember debts and their books. This way there’s no real evidence and it also makes shaking down the local businesses very efficient. Mei doesn’t want to do any of these things but she has no real choice and in the meantime they also use her mother as leverage although she dies early on and Mei finds this out. Still, what can a kid really do? One day she is able to make a break for it and then she bumps into Luke.

The idea of bringing the two characters together is pretty fun so I give the film credit there. Additionally, it’s not just one generic mafia group running around. We have the Russians, the Japanese, and then a corrupt group of cops who play ball with both of them. It helps keep things interesting because the different villain groups get in each other’s way in addition to the heroes trying to stay away from them. Ultimately Luke may even need to team up with one to stop the others and buy some time to get out on top.

I don’t think the film fully takes advantage of this angle though. I would have liked some more actual fights between them. We have the climax but for the most part each group does move on their own. The best scene of the groups actually interacting in a way was when both of them were on the line with the corrupt cop at the same time trying to outbid each other. That was really fun and is exactly the kind of interaction that I’m looking for here.

This is one of the few films where the actor playing Luke isn’t running around beating 20 guys with ease and showing off more martial arts. Luke can fight here but he’s not some kind of master level black belt. He’s a bit more humble this time around. I would have liked to have seen more action scenes to be honest but the ones that we got were fun. At the end of the film it’s heavily implied that he would have actually lost to his opponent so Mei had to step in. I think she made the right call there. Luke’s a fun lead and he does a good job but he doesn’t always make smart decisions. There are so many times in the film where realistically he should have died but the villains didn’t finish the job. In some cases it was intentional which is fine but in others we’re talking a bit of plot armor here.

It’s also why the first half isn’t as fun though. I was ready for the exciting chase scenes and all, not watching Luke just be super depressed as the villains mess him over and he doesn’t do much to stop them. What I thought was a real shame is that at the end he’s given the chance to avenge his family and doesn’t. Look….I know they’re going for the hero play here but Luke’s no hero and the way his family went out practically begs him to avenge them. I think he really should have taken the villain out, he’s come too far to stop now. Not anything drawn out mind you, it’s not like he should become a villain or anything. Just go in with a quick gunshot and then it’s all over. That’s absolutely what should have happened if you ask me.

Meanwhile Mei is a fun character. A lot of times the kids in these films can be annoying but she was actually helpful at times and she was also quick on the uptake. She knew that giving the villains too much info would mean that she was expendable so she did her best to strategize. She helped Luke out in the fights and in general wasn’t a burden. So she’s definitely got a thumbs up in my book as a quality character and I could see the two of them being a good duo in a future sequel.

While the film wasn’t always firing on all cylinders, the ending is pretty fun. For a film like this you do want some kind of happy ending and it’s even slightly sequel bait you could say. I think a sequel for this film would go over fairly well. The writing is on point and while the first half is slow, the second has good pacing. It does have to struggle a bit with utilizing all of the characters though. I was looking forward to seeing more action from Alex. He doesn’t really do anything until the closing minutes but apparently he’s a really top tier fighter. The scene of him taking down a whole squad was super impressive. The way he goes out is funny but he should have gotten another fight or two. This is where I go back to the issue of the film not properly utilizing all of the factions. Alex and the Mayor should have had a bigger role which could have led to more fights.

Overall, Safe is a good film. I have my share of issues that keep it from being pretty good like the really slow beginning. The film can also be a bit violent and torture happens but in general it’s got a fairly light tone. The film doesn’t dwell too much on the darker elements which is good. I’d also say it has good replay value because of how much is going on at all times. There’s a lot to absorb and at the end of the day it can be pretty fun. I’d recommend checking this out if you’re looking for an action title you haven’t checked out yet.

Overall 6/10

Heaven Can Wait Review

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I saw the original film adaption of this story not too long ago with good ole Mr. Jordan. I thought it was okay but didn’t actually think it was very good and the ending was pretty bad. Well this one improves upon the original in just about every way and is a lot better. The ending’s still not great to be honest…in fact it’s still bad but the film manages to overcome the original’s just enough for me to still give it the thumbs up all the way.

So the film starts off with Joe training hard to stay in shape for the Rams. He is the backup QB but you never know when he will become the starter someday. In fact, that day is coming up fast as the coaches have decided to plug him in. He goes out for a bike ride but is unfortunately destroyed in the car crash. He is taken to the after-world to prepare for his journey to Heaven but Joe feels like there has been a mixup. Well, he was correct! It turns out that he should have survived and the new trainee was a little too overeager. Jordan promises to find Joe a new body since his original was already cremated but can he really get a body that is just as good as the old one? That’s not going to be an easy feat I’ll tell you that right now!

The whole thing is pretty unfair to Joe from the start so you feel bad for the guy. He’s trained his entire life for a shot like this and then it’s all taken away from him in an instant. I suppose life itself can often be unfair like that but for a movie you’re hoping that he gets the perfect ending. The problem is that he never does. The ending is on the bittersweet side as he gets to accomplish some of his dreams but has to sacrifice others. It’s like he just really can’t get it all but because the error was not on his side, Jordan should have made it up to him a lot better.

Well, Joe has a good attitude about the whole thing so I give him credit there. I like how they showed Joe’s good work ethic here. To play QB for the NFL you need to be memorizing a lot of playsheets and putting in a ton of time into the craft. So when he takes on the body of a big CEO, he actually does the research and handles himself fairly well in the big business meeting. The only problem is that he’s not very smart with how he handles the two people trying to murder him. Joe took over the body of a guy who was recently murdered by his wife and the guy she was cheating with so it would stand to reason that they would try again once he had the miraculous recovery right?

Well…he doesn’t do anything about it. It’s just a very questionable move there because you figure that he would fix this really fast. It shouldn’t even be a question, he should have quickly gotten the cops involved or if he thought there was no evidence he could grab, confront them at least. Instead he just has fun living his life and acts as if they don’t like each other but as a mild disagreement and not to the extent of his body being deadly just a little bit earlier. The wife and secretary are played up a bit more here than in the original for how goofy and slapstick they are. This is one area where I’d say the original wins. They’re so cartoonish here that you just can’t take them very seriously at all which makes their victory all the worse.

We do have to have the big romance here of course and so the heroine here is Betty. She was at odds with the guy whose body Joe took over so there is some friction at first but when Joe makes good on his word to stop harming the environment and small businesses then she comes around. Of course Joe is married so I’m a bit wary with Betty so readily going out with him to dinner and the like. Sure you could say it’s just as friends…surrrrreee but Joe clearly doesn’t see it that way. He does give her the ole promise that he’ll get divorced soon so they could get together but the whole thing should feel rather suspicious. Also it just doesn’t make her look great. I’d also argue that the ending isn’t great for her either.

Yes, she remembers the line that he says at the end so she knows this quarterback is the one Joe was talking about but there’s no reason to assume that it’s the same guy. In fact it isn’t anyway since Joe is gone so they’re going to hook up because she’s doing this as a favor to Joe? No matter how you slice it, it makes her look a little too willing to jump into the next relationship rather than giving herself some time to grieve and stay solo after the first guy was bumped off.

Jordan tries hard with finding good bodies for Joe but I have to say that he didn’t try hard enough. As I keep saying, the ending wasn’t satisfying and it’s entirely Jordan’s fault. He could have warned Joe about the murder attempt and he certainly could have allowed him to live out the rest of his life rather than conking out early. He’s one of those guys who promises the moon but then doesn’t deliver.

Finally Max was a loyal friend to Joe the whole time. He really helped get Joe back into Football shape rather quickly which was impressive and the guy helped out with the murder case. I will say that the investigation was a lot more fun than in the first film. It does get a little goofier at times but on the whole I thought it was a blast and a half. I’m always up for a good mystery after all.

Overall, Heaven Can Wait is a fun film. I’d say on the whole the humor lands more effectively than the first one. Joe is a better main character here and like I said it’s just better nearly all around the board compared to the first. The ending is still a downer but it’s not enough to keep me from recommending the film. You’ll definitely have a good time here and hey it’s also an important reminder to be careful when entering any road/tunnel that is not properly lit. It’s a real risk.

Overall 7/10

Invisible Invaders Review

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It’s time for a sci-fi film where the aliens decide to finally take out humanity. Trust me I knew this day was coming because humanity definitely was never going to last long against aliens. Aliens are more resilient, skilled, and just generally trickier than humans. These guys are invisible though which makes it even tougher. It’s a good movie with a fairly cheesy ending but on the whole I had a good time here.

The movie starts off with a scientist dying. After that, he suddenly appears in the house of another scientist and explains that his body is being reanimated by an alien. These aliens give the Earth 24 hours to surrender before they take over. The humans don’t believe this of course and so they don’t do anything. After the 24 hours pass, the aliens begin shooting up all of the national landmarks and overwhelming the humans. There doesn’t seem to be a way to stop them because the invisibility means they can get into any secure location or snipe people at will. So America puts all of their hopes on two scientists, Penner and Lamont. Only they can hope to save the day but will they find a solution in time?

Now the humans are rather lucky here in that the aliens have no real weapons. See, apparently Earth’s atmosphere is rather toxic to them so they have to stay invisible and use sabotage to take the edge against the human. Sabotage is in itself still a very good tactic so we shouldn’t underestimate it but that also means it is their only win condition. If the humans can find a way to make them visible then they will be able to end this in a snap. A hard, but achievable task.

Unfortunately one of the scientists is super annoying. Lamont is one of those guys who throws in the towel immediately and complains a whole lot. Seriously this guy is just a nuisance and he goes as far as to start destroying equipment all over the base while he has a tantrum. It’s one thing to figure you have no shot but it’s another to make sure of it like this. He wanted to force a surrender and while the other characters let him off easy, I would have considered that as a complete betrayal and kicked him off the squad. You can’t have someone like that putting you in danger. He never recovered from that.

Penner is actually a good scientist who tries hard the whole time. Even when things look bleak, he continues to fight hard and holds his own. It’s not an easy thing to do but he still does it. He lives up to his reputation as one of the biggest geniuses in the country and ultimately he takes a lot of risks of his own. Then you have the main heroine Phyllis who does her best to assist. She may not be making inventions but she watches over the crew. Mainly the tough part for her is having to deal with some flirting when everyone should have their minds on business. You’d think that they would with the stakes this high right?

The main guy who likes her is Bruce. So he’s from the army and is the one in charge of protecting the scientists. This sometimes means making some hard calls like when he has to murder someone who was in the way. Phyllis gets mad at this but I was 100% on the soldier’s side. She was right there and yet she acts like there was another way. It’s clear that this guy had lost his marbles and he even threatened to shoot the heroes. So Bruce took him out first and saved all of their lives. I don’t get how you can possibly discount that. It’s what happened after all and it’s not like Bruce enjoyed his mission there.

Bruce also takes a whole lot of risks later on as he keeps testing out the weapons on the aliens which results in his having to go out onto the battlefield alone. He’s nearly choked to death on one occasion and barely escapes with his life the other times. So he’s a good guy that doesn’t hold back on his missions. He accomplished his mission and yes there was a body count but it was as a last resort. He was surprisingly weak in a fist fight when one of the other guys went crazy later on though. I expected him to be a lot stronger as a soldier so he really needs to his the gym at some point.

As a final note, the aliens in these invasion films really aren’t very smart sometimes. There’s no reason to even bother giving Earth demands when there’s no chance that they could be met. Instead, use the element of disguise and deal some damage quickly. Wirth all of the aliens being invisible they could launch the ultimate first strike and blow up so many installation all at once that humanity won’t know what do . Plus if they were smart about it, people wouldn’t even be able to guess that it was aliens so they could use these tactics for an extremely long time. Humanity only stands a chance because of plot armor.

Overall, The Invisible Invaders is a good movie. I think it could have stood to be a little more exciting though. Most of the film is about the characters talking things over and trying to find a weakness. The actual confrontations are pretty rare and considering that the aliens are fully sentient, we could have had more hype dialogue with them. Maybe see more of the other governments as well and what they are doing to counter the alien threat. We see that for the most part everyone is getting wrecked but couldn’t some others adjust? These aliens are basically just guys with guns without the invisibility working so if you monitor the entrances and exits you can see when someone shows up and pop them. Well I suppose that’s for more of a thriller film. Either way I would recommend the movie. It’s a quality feature with good writing and pacing so you can’t go wrong there.

Overall 6/10