Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

One Million Years B.C Review

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It’s time for a film about cave people and that’s always a huge red flag for me. It’s very rare that a film like that ends up being very good. Unfortunately this would not be the one to buck the trend. The instant you start the film you already know how it’s going to go. Without meaningful dialogue and fun characters this movie was really dead in the water right from the jump. I’m afraid that it never ended up doing anything and that’s the real sad part about this.

The movie starts with a bunch of cave people fighting all over the place. We see how there is no law and order around here. Everyone just does what they want when they want. They are true savages through and through. Tumak gets thrown out so he wanders around for a while until he finds another village that is quite different. These people are all very graceful, they have a real society and even know how to communicate, at least in basic ways. A lady named Loana decides to teach him their ways and so Tumak quickly becomes a good ally to have around. He has the strength to protect them from attacking monsters and now this society is where he can find peace. Unfortunately he messes that up and gets kicked out again so Loana leaves with him. Can they ever find peace?

A large chunk of the film is really about exploring what life may have been like back in these days. It’s basically why Tumak gets kicked out everywhere since it gives the film a chance to put him in different environments and see what happens. Here’s the problem though…they’re all very boring. I don’t care how many different settlements he sees, they’re all still just too basic to have anything interesting to depict. In a movie I typically need fast paced dialogue, a lot of quality banter, etc. You just don’t get that in this film and that’s a shame.

The random giant monsters are interesting enough at least. You have dinosaurs, giant lizards, etc. Of course this also ends up sinking the film into the animal violence issue which is just as bad. So now the film has that going against it in addition to the movie lacking in any quality characters. I also feel like the old outfits are just an excuse for a lot of fanservice as well. Surely the characters could all wear old fur coats instead of the classic cave costumes right? Feels like the movie’s trying to hide the lack of plot with this.

At the end of the day there just isn’t much for the film to do with this setup and it knows it. So you have a lot of fights and Tumak learning how to live but that’s about it and you can do that in 20 minutes. The rest of the film is effectively fluff and not very interesting fluff at that. The worst thing about the movie is ultimately that you’re just going to be very bored. There is nothing here to actively capture your imagination and that’s really the biggest problem of all. You need to be interested in what’s going on and engaged with the situation for a movie to be good.

The problem is that there isn’t anything to grab your attention. Why should you care about the cave people fighting each other when none of the characters are particularly fun? You shouldn’t is the main reason there. I wouldn’t say any modern level effects would have changed anything either because the place is supposed to look and feel old. There isn’t really a way around that no matter how much you squint.

Also, I do have to say that most films do need a lot of dialogue. You can absolutely pull off doing a film without much talking but it’s going to be very difficult and will fail much more often than it succeeds. Trust me on this, it’s not an easy task by any stretch of the imagination. You really have to give it your all and this film didn’t even come close. I also can’t picture a scenario where a film taking place in prehistoric times could pull it off.

A silent film in space with aliens all around for example could work. Perhaps a sci-fi title about escaping a room where you can’t talk. That silent film about the monsters that react to sound for example is a title that made the most of the premise so this actually made sense. You just need a massive hook like that in order to even attempt to make this a challenge.

Otherwise just adding dinosaurs and such isn’t going to be enough to tip the scales. Nah if anything it’s just going to remind you of how much more fun this could be if the characters were all talking and planning things out. At the end of the day of course if this sounds like your cup of tea then you should enjoy it. The film is very straight forward on what it is about. For example if you like the poster then you should like the movie. It’s not trying to subvert your expectations or throw in a bunch of plot twists. What you see is what you get and the film absolutely embraces this all the way down the line. It’s just not what I was looking for.

Overall, One Million Years ago never makes for a good setting for any film. Trust me on this, it’s the kind of setting you should actively avoid if you want to have any luck here! Films should take place in the modern day or the future if you want to have a leg up on the competition. That’s always my word of advice at least. Those are easily the best eras and I just like for everything to look really current. Then the characters still have to do their part but it’s a start. Yeah this film should be a skip.

Overall 1/10

The Warriors Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. Please address the review as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

The Warriors is a film that was pretty big back in the day. I like the concept of a gang having to basically try and get around the entire state with everyone after them. Unfortunately the movie doesn’t quite live up to the concept. There is a good amount of fun to be had here but the more the movie goes, the more the characters start to get a little unlikable. The movie sort of loses focus on its own plot and there isn’t nearly as much action as you would initially expect.

The movie starts off with all of the gangs converging in the Bronx because a speech is going to be made by the most influential gang of all. The leader is basically calling for a ceasefire because if the gangs can team up then they should be able to take over the city. Everyone’s pretty stoked about this but then the leader is suddenly shot. The worst part is that someone claims the Warriors are behind it. Their gang is fairly small plus they are behind enemy lines so it’s time to bounce. The problem as any New Yorker knows is that Coney Island is quite far from the Bronx. It takes over an hour to get there from Manhattan as it is! Are they ready for this?

It’s definitely fun to recognize the sites during the film. They actually filmed in slightly different locations and switched the train signs around which is clever but if you live in Manhattan then you’ll see through it. It’s a good way to just see the city and I’ve been around the area where most of the film takes place in quite a lot so that was nostalgic. The atmosphere is just right and so the film really starts off with a bang. You can feel the danger and the whole first act is excellent.

Where the film drops off majorly is during the chases in the middle of the film. See, the Warriors get split up and each group gets their own subplot. One part of the Warriors ends up bumping into an all girls gang and figure they’ll mess around a whole lot. The film needs extensive amounts of plot armor to keep them alive here though. Keep in mind that they suspect absolutely nothing the whole time and so there are numerous times when the guys are completely preoccupied and defenseless. It made no sense that the girls didn’t just murder them and that will definitely take you out of the film the whole time.

Then you have another group where one of the guys gets distracted by a lady who’s hanging out alone by a bench. He is here to remind us that the Warriors are still a gang and as such are not particularly heroic. Fortunately she ends up being an undercover cop and calls in the police to bring him to jail. What’s disappointing is the fact that he was actually attempting to overpower her which isn’t just a villainous move but pretty much the worst action possible. You’re absolutely rooting for this guy to be crushed and by extension you’re not really rooting for the rest of the Warriors as much either.

As a side note I do think that the undercover cop plan was super risky though. It took quite a while for the cops to arrive after being signaled since I guess they didn’t just have them camping in the park. Personally I think you have to have at least one officer hiding close by in the bushes or something because a lot can happen in a few minutes. You have to be discreet but you can definitely do that while still being safe.

Meanwhile the main one, Swan mostly stays focused and does a good job of staying focused on the goal..until near the end. He ends up cracking and has a quick fling with Mercy who had been taunting him throughout the film but if would have been good if he had stayed strong instead. She was constantly getting the group into fights by goading on different fighters and increasing the tension levels as a result. The Warriors nearly got away without a fight from the first gang and she’s the one who pressed for one. I feel like getting together with her after that is a bit much.

The romance here is definitely sub par and in a way that’s because this film should not have had any romance to start with. This is supposed to be a gang war film with a ton of battles and every group going at it. When you stop to have a quick affair like this it just doesn’t make any sense. There are only around 2-3 real battles here. I did like the confrontation in the park which was one of the more extended fights at least. The Warriors got to show that they could really fight but it’s also an opportunity to show what the film could have been.

This absolutely should have been like Mortal Kombat with a fight every few minutes. It should have been a full boss rush as the Warriors take on every rival gang around and keep it moving. There was a whole lot of potential there but in the end there are definitely a lot more chases than fighting. Still there are things that the film does well.

When the characters aren’t looking really awful, we do get to see them planning and outmaneuvering all of the gangs. I liked the atmosphere of the gang being out really late at night. Even nowadays you never want to be out too late because that’s asking for trouble so you can only imagine back when there were a ton of gangs everywhere. You do feel better when you’re in a group though which is why they keep on getting separated until there are fewer and fewer of them around.

The ending is also satisfying and really finishes things off in a nice way. You always want to end things on a high note and that happens here. Plus seeing the sunlight as the heroes finally make it back to Coney Island was nice as a way to show that they did survive the night and made it back home. Only way I’d top the ending would have been to show that the Warriors had a bunch of extra members who had stayed home and they are the ones who end up surrounding the villain. Would have been a good way to show that this is their home turf. The villain was very underwhelming so he would have folded either way but I think this would have been a nice touch.

Overall, The Warriors has a better story than the actual execution. While watching the film you keep waiting for the big gang fights and all the action that follows but instead we focus more on the gang members individually as they get a lot of character development and that’s not what you wanted to see here. Particularly because the characters didn’t end up being likable by the end precisely because of these moments. You’re better off doing the big New York walk yourself one of these days, start early and see how far you can go.

Overall 4/10

The Trip to Bountiful Review

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It’s time for a movie that is pleasant enough but also supremely annoying. The ending isn’t at satisfying as the movie would have you believe and that’s because there just isn’t a reason to believe that things will be different. One character in particular is a massive pushover and looks awful the whole time. Seriously you do not want him in your corner because at the end of the day he’s really not going to do anything for you. He’ll just bow to peer pressure and then that’s the end of that.

The film starts off with introducing us to Carrie who has had to live through a rather unpleasant home environment for quite a while now. Her son Ludie has been completely dominated by his wife Jessie to the point where he will do all her bidding and never sticks up for his own mother. Jessie keeps on taking Carrie’s retirement checks and forbids her from doing basic things like singing hymns. She has also forbidden Carrie from ever going back to her real home. Carrie finally has enough of this and slips away during one sunny afternoon. She has a headstart now but is older and she’s heading for a town so small that most people don’t even know about it anymore. Will she be able to make it or will she be captured by Jessie? The clock is ticking and time is definitely not on her side.

Okay so the main annoying thing here is how much Ludie lets Jessie get away with. The guy is absolutely spineless for the entirety of the film to the point where I would call him an antagonist. When you just stand by and let your mother get picked on then you’re basically guilty in that respect. Ultimately when you’re married it is expected that your significant other will become the #1 priority in your life but you should still be able to see reason enough to stand up for yourself and call that person out when the wrong calls are being made.

This did not feel like a healthy or balanced relationship. Instead Ludie was basically just getting bullied the whole time and it’s a really bad look. It’s a massive L for this guy. Then of course you have Jessie who is still the main antagonist here. It’s crazy how she shamelessly takes the money and constantly barks out orders. She’s a very toxic person and one who shows no real signs of changing which is why the ending doesn’t land. Any scene with her is annoying and you just feel like the movie doesn’t really do anything to have her own up to her crimes. That’s really the biggest problem with her. If the film had acknowledged this…then okay fine I can get behind that. But since they don’t, that’s where the issues really come up.

Finally we have Carrie who is doing her best to get back home. She is very old during this adventure so that does put her at a big disadvantage. She also ends up succumbing to Jessie’s demands most of the time to please Ludie which is too bad since I’d like her to take a firmer stance. Ultimately it would bring more trouble but apologizing when you’re not the one at fault has always been a real annoying thing. You just shouldn’t have to do that under any circumstances.

There is one main side character here in Thelma who was a really nice character. She did her best to look out for Carrie during the bus ride as well as when they were at the bus stop. I actually thought she was going to be around for the whole film but ultimately she was just there for part of the journey. Her appearance was very appreciated though as she helped Carrie through a tough period and it would have been a lot tougher if Carrie was on her own. Ultimately Thelma was the highlight of the movie for just being a kind person in a movie where everyone else seemed rather cruel for no reason. Even the Sheriff took forever and a day to help Carrie out when giving her a simple drive seemed like a no brainer.

I’m also glad the film didn’t have Carrie die when she made it home, like she had just been hanging on until she got there. That definitely would have been real unfortunate. As I mentioned earlier this ending still isn’t perfect like with how the villains don’t really pay for their crimes. That’s something that really should have been fixed through and through. I wanted Carrie to insist she stays in town or just move off on her own. Even bolder, have Jessie leave, those would have all been more satisfying endings.

Instead the ending is basically that things will eventually work out and they all just have to take it. Pretty bad message if you ask me because none of it was Carrie’s fault. It’s the classic “We’re all a little at fault I guess” kind of ending that I never agree with. You shouldn’t have to pay for someone else’s issues and we saw nothing in the film to even suggest that Carrie was being a problem in any way. Throughout the film she was the one doing her best through and through.

That’s really the sore point of the film and what keeps it from getting a higher film. It just feels like the whole thing wasn’t fair at all and Carrie effectively got penalized for just being a nice person. That’s no good. If you watch this film, just get ready to be annoyed a whole lot because Carrie just trying to visit her home is something that should be a simple matter and not something she has to ask permission for. The whole thing is just bonkers.

Overall, This movie is still supposed to be more of a feel good title, but it forgot the feels good parts. If it was a little more upbeat and fun then I think we’d be having a very different conversation here. As it stands that just wasn’t in the cards and I can think of many better films to watch if you want to feel good. It’s time for this movie to instead be lost in the years of time.

Overall 4/10

The Beguiled Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the movie. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

If I saw this film in the theaters my disappointment would have been immeasurable and my day ruined. Look at this poster above? It’s a great poster and would get you hyped up for the movie. Now this is an excellent wild west adventure with some action right? Well the movie is anything but that. There are no true fight scenes here and instead we have a super awful main character and a bunch of bad side characters as well. Definitely a film that you will want to stay far away from without a doubt.

The movie starts off with John getting injured and a little girl notices him outside of her school. The headmistress reluctantly takes him in and they figure they should nurse him back to health before turning him over to the authorities. This film takes place during the civil war and the school is in the south while John is from the North. As a result their duty officially is to turn him over right away but they feel like this would not be just. So instead they are keeping him around and John figures that this is his chance to get away. His grand master plan is to seduce all of them and take over the school. The problem is…he’s succeeding. Can anyone stop him?

This is just a very mean spirited movie from start to finish. All of the characters are either corrupt or get corrupted as the events fly by. John isn’t a likable character and to the film’s defense he is the main antagonist so they’re not trying to make him likable. Whenever he shows up you’re just going to groan and he’s around for the entire film. Basically the guy has absolutely no shame in manipulating the emotions of the women there. The film is also going for the extra gritty points here by adding in two crazy additions to the plot. The first is that one of the girls is only 17.

Yeah the film went out of its way to confirm this just to make that whole plot even more awful. The film was morally bankrupt by this point. Then we see that Martha had an inappropriate relationship growing up and the less said on that the better. None of these additions do anything to improve the film or service the plot. They are only here for shock value and to remind you of what a trainwreck this movie is. At the end of the day that’s all this is and a film isn’t going to survive with this low level writing.

Shock value doesn’t work for more than a second but does lasting harm to the film. Just like that, all of the characters are ruined. John would have been ruined either way with how exaggerated he is and all the affairs he’s pulling off. The guy lies, cheats, and does whatever he can to survive all so he can avoid the war which makes him a true villain. Then the movie isn’t satisfied and also has him murder an animal just to let this all sink home. Oof that was bad.

The film really made sure that it fell into every possible cinematic landmine. The worst part is that despite this, Edwina doesn’t totally go against John. Yes she gets mad at him during several points of the film but by the end she seems to have actually forgiven him. I was shellshocked. See, the whole time I thought she was planning some kind of grand murder scheme and was just acting the part. See, that would actually make a lot of sense but the film doesn’t go this route. No, instead she got stockholm syndrome I guess and actually liked him.

At least the ending of the film is very satisfying. I got really worried that there would be a cop out at the end like the girl didn’t pick the right mushrooms but fortunately that doesn’t happen. Everything happens as it should and in a way John probably gets off a bit lighter than needed. Still, I’ll accept the outcome and while the film may have been beyond saving by that point anyway, it was a start. I was still glad to see this outcome at least.

It goes without saying that Martha’s a pretty bad character too despite trying to have a holier than thou attitude. She had a lot of issues of her own and a very troubled past. Martha also went out of her way to get even with John despite all of the excuses that she had afterwards. She absolutely knew what she was doing every step of the way and I don’t think anything could convince me otherwise. This is just who she was through and through. Edwina comes across as incredibly naïve and too emotional. The ending of the film hurt her big time as a result. Then Carol was also really annoying in her constant attempts to seduce John. This even eventually went all the way up to blackmail which was crazy and made her a full antagonist as well.

Yeah this film’s definitely no fun and you should stay far away. The film even has the southern soldiers show up at one point and then heavily imply that they were creeps as well. The scene that almost happens which the film kept hinting at was really not needed. The movie is so concerned with being edgy that it forgets to have a real plot and that’s the worst part about the film. You definitely could have tried to make a decent flick out of this even after you changed the basic plot and made the characters more likable. Instead it’s all just absurd and not in a fun way.

Overall, The film may have a satisfying ending but that doesn’t take away from the unlikable cast and all of the unnecessary elements of the film. I’s hard to get past those and ultimately the movie doesn’t have any fun. It’s definitely a hard film to finish and has below average pacing. Stick away from this one and watch something a lot more fun like the Tom & Jerry movie instead. That one will keep you entertained.

Overall 0/10

St Elmo’s Fire Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a particularly brutal film. When you think of a dramatic romance film this is the kind of title that comes to mind because it’s so over the top that you’re going to be cringing a whole lot. None of the characters are likable in the slightest and the whole thing is like an out of control fire. Trust me you’re going to want to stay far away from this one.

The movie starts by introducing us to a group of teenagers. They have a very complicated interpersonal relationship structure going on. They’re having affairs with each other, living their life, and crushing hearts all at the same time. After graduating school they figure they can still be friends but that is quickly found to be impossible. There are just too many relationship dramas going on and for at least one character it may even be life threatening. Is there any way to salvage this?

All the characters here are awful but I guess we should still break this down a bit. First up is Kirby who is a super desperate guy. He likes one girl who basically never gives him the time of day but each time he thinks he can win her over. He always overanalyzes what she says and now thinks that he needs to get rich and then she’ll go out with him. Of course he should ask himself why he is chasing after her like this. If she is only going to get together with him if he’s rich…then is that really love? Of course there are some conversations online about how gold digging is actually really good and the strongest bond but I feel like that is mostly hopium and not rooted in any facts. Regardless this guy is extremely annoying. Kirby has a lot of competition for worst character along with all his friends but the guy doesn’t do himself any favors.

Then you have Jules who is trying to have an affair with her boss but things aren’t going so well. She’s also leading on another guy who is having troubles of his own and ultimately this leads to her getting really depressed and nearly ending it all. It’s definitely a rough situation all around and while she may have dug herself into this situation, you do feel bad for her. It’s just that the whole movie is so overly dramatic that it all doesn’t hit as well. Even while she is about to die, her “friends” are fighting with each other and one nearly gets thrown off the building. Not a good look right?

The problem is that they’re all cheating on each other with others so it’s only natural that none of them can trust each other. Then there’s Billy who is really messing around by being with everyone and has gone in with the wrong crowd. He’s way too off the deep end and has a bad attitude about everything. Even when characters try to help him out and get him a job he has no gratitude. You can’t really help a character like that.

There’s Wendy who is the nice character but ultimately she makes a lot of mistakes in the relationships as well and cracks by the end. Honestly the best thing you can do in this situation is to get away from the other characters as fast as possible. I dare say that almost anyone would be dragged into the mud along with them after enough exposure. It’s why it’s so important to choose your friends wisely because otherwise you will just begin to get corrupted as a person as well and then there is no coming back from that. I mean you can come back from that but of course it gets difficult.

There are a bunch of other teenagers here but ultimately the characters are going to start blending together. They’re already sounding a bit similar in the summaries above right? Well one last one to put a spotlight on is Kevin because he’s particularly bad. So he fell in love with Leslie a long time ago but never had enough courage to mention this so he’s basically been her “friend” for ages. Finally he gets drunk enough to confess and they have a quick affair but the whole thing is basically a summation of the worst Hollywood romance tropes.

First off you have the classic idea that any “friend” is always secretly looking to get together with you the instant that you drop your guard. That was definitely rough here, like really? Then the girl was easy enough where they did have a fling which ends up adding a lot of tension since her other boyfriend shows up later on. Ultimately if you like your friend like that then you have to confess early on or keep the secret to the grave. If you stretch it out then you’re basically taking advantage since all the times you were hanging out platonically, it wasn’t actually platonic. This guy just felt way too whiny the whole time.

Needless to say I didn’t find the writing in the film to be particularly impressive. With no likable characters to root for, the film was always going to be very limited in what it could pull off. You need at least one great character around or else the whole thing’s kind of pointless. There’s a ton of drama here but all of the problems are basically self inflicted wounds by the characters in putting themselves in these scenarios. The film starts to drag and it goes without saying that the romances here are awful. In short the movie doesn’t give you any real reason to enjoy it.

Overall, I definitely recommend staying far away from this film. The whole film is a fire in a sense so I guess I can give them some props for living up to the premise but that’s it. There are no redeeming factors about the movie and at no point will you be entertained. This one desperately needs a remake from the ground up that changes everything about it, but at that point it’s basically a different film anyway.

Overall 1/10

The Flash Review

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All right folks it’s time to talk about the Flash. This film was getting quite a lot of hype for the Batmen and Supergirl appearing. You could say that the guest stars were the main draws in this one and it is deserved since they all upstage the Flash. This ends up being a good movie but unfortunately that’s about where it ends because this film had the longest amount of dead time I’ve seen in a CBM. The long middle act really ends up limiting its potential.

The movie starts with Flash saving the city while Batman saves the world and it’s a pretty solid way to kick things off. It felt like the intro to a Justice League episode. Flash then gets the idea to go back in time to save his mother and in turn save his father from being falsely accused of murdering her. So the Flash pulls this off and saves her but now the timeline is going in a rather odd direction. Will he be able to fix this new timeline or will he have to become the ultimate villain and let his mother die?

Fans who know of the Flashpoint event from the comics or the previous animated movie will likely know a lot of the story beats right out of the gate and I’d say most people seemed to figure out the villain right from the trailer so this isn’t about the twists so much as it’s about the adventure. There is one twist that I didn’t see coming involving the main Flash and his powers since the trailers cleverly hid/misdirected from this but unfortunately that’s actually one of the biggest issues in the film. There are a lot of things I can’t really talk about without getting into spoiler territory so I’ll leave that for the end.

The special effects here are really solid. They do a good job with the lightning bolts from the Flash costume and with the slow mo. The fights with Zod have some good sound barrier blows although the fights are noticeably a step below Black Adam and Man of Steel so the director/producer need to work on showing off the power levels a bit better for the next one. The costumes and visuals are good so I have no complaints here. The soundtrack is also good with a lot of variety among the hero themes and of course some really solid ones from the past as well. It’s effectively like a big crossover track selection which makes sense for the movie.

The whole climax is pretty solid on the action front even if they do fumble the ball with some decisions by the end. The ending’s definitely not good but I’ll delve into that in the ending segment. Unfortunately the after credits scene is also one of the weakest ones I’ve seen. You won’t even break into a smile while it plays and the whole time you were waiting for something big to happen. It’s not as disappointing as the after credit scene involving Venom where he teleported again but this was still very lackluster. They could have shown Zoom, Reverse Flash, Savitar, or some other really hype character. Instead…well you’ll see it when you see it.

The film works as a Flash origin story to an extent as they manage to squeeze that in while we learn more about his past. It’s an origin you’ve pretty much pictured all the way through but that part’s not bad even if it lacks the mystery and mystique that you’re used to from it. The way we don’t see much of who actually bumped off the mother does lead me to believe that eventually they’re still going to set up the real culprit. It’s just going to be a little dicey because there should be some clues that would have come up during the investigation, like nobody actually approaching the house or something. These things can be easily explained though so we’ll see how that goes.

Ultimately the film lives or dies on the Flash which is fitting since it’s his movie and unfortunately he is one of the weakest parts of the movie. There are two Barry Allens due to this second timeline and the second one is super annoying. Part of why the middle portion of the film flops is because it’s basically trying to be Bill and Ted. The characters are just being annoying the whole time, the original Barry gets wrecked by everybody while the second one takes everything as a joke.

That can be fun but the problem is that the writing isn’t nearly up to par with Bill and Ted. That film on the whole is considerably funnier. This film does have some good humor scenes like Batman and Flash getting blasted with a mental attack to try and humiliate them. Yes, I’d say the attack was clearly intentional and not accidental. It’s fun just because you can imagine how difficult that scenario would be if you were hit. Beyond that though, the film’s humor doesn’t really land all that well. The Flash is often times just annoying.

Additionally from the jump I said that the Flash actor wasn’t really right for the part and he still doesn’t feel like the Flash. Part of that is writing to be sure but part of it is ultimately just the actor. Grant from the CW still has the definitive Flash look and also the much better suit which is always odd to think about since a TV show costume shouldn’t beat a big budget movie version right? Sometimes it’s just a case of overdesigning and that’s what happened here. With a bunch of DC heroes getting recasted soon I definitely don’t mind if Flash gets recasted. Honestly Affleck and Cavill were the only two definitive ones. I don’t mind if the rest get recasted but I’m good either way on most of them. The Flash is just the one that really needs it.

The Keaton Batman gets a fairly big role here. He has a super rough start though, his first scenes are really just painful and you’re wondering how this could possibly be Batman. That whole string of scenes is another sequence that is just painfully unfunny. I don’t want to say it’s the worst sequence but it was rather brutal in a negative way and same for all of his scenes prior to the costume. Once he puts on the suit then he’s good though. He gets his share of action scenes and puts up some good fights which is always really good. I’m always up for some good Batman action after all and the suit really holds up well. The film also did a good job of showing the different fighting styles between him and the main timeline Batman.

The first Batman doesn’t get to appear a whole lot but he definitely made the most of his scenes. He perhaps had a little too much trouble against some ordinary minions but the point of the scene was really to show off his motorcycle. I really liked the design of that thing and the afterburners were really cool. We also saw his gadgets in more detail and it reminds me of why a film about a super experienced Batman like this sounds really good right about now.

In terms of the villains, well we have Zod who is an interesting character. See, he looks incredibly weak in the fights as he struggles to land a single hit on Supergirl at all so on one hand she seems to be massively stronger and faster. On the other hand, he always seems to come out on top for contrived plot reasons. I suppose I’m satisfied since it shows his tactical skills. The others don’t get to do as much and are practically mindless monsters. In general the Kryptonians don’t look as strong as they should since the rank and file should still be very strong but that’s how it goes sometimes. Supergirl herself looks really good though. She has a solid amount of super strength at her disposal and does well in the fight. She’s definitely a very different take on the character but one that works well I would say. She reminds me a bit of Wolverine or Superboy and still comes with the aggression and eagerness to fight which is important.

You may be wondering why the Flash doesn’t just solo the whole movie in an instant right? Writing a speedster is the single hardest thing for a writer to do because their speed is so unreal, particularly the Flash since he’s the fastest of all. Well, the movie introduces a few weaknesses to try and prevent this. The first is that the Flash’s appetite has been drastically increased to the point where he loses his powers if he’s too hungry. Great…..but hey it is a legitimate way to nerf him into the ground and does widen the gap of why Superman’s way more powerful so I can get behind this.

Flash also can’t move people at super speed more than a few feet or they get super sick and could possibly die. I’m not sure about this one since you’d think the speed force would protect anyone that he’s carrying but it’s also a way to make sure he doesn’t just evacuate a whole country in a few minutes or anything like that. There is one other element used to prevent him from soloing the movie but the trailers intentionally hid that so I’ll keep that for the spoiler section. So that did at least help with some of the power level issues you’d usually find but the film still had enough of them to go around.

Okay it’s time for the spoilers! Skip the next paragraphs if you haven’t seen the movie yet since we’re about to dive in! First up we have to talk about the middle act and why I didn’t care for it. Long story short, the Flash gets depowered because he wasn’t fast enough to dodge lightning. That’s already absurd but the worst part is that it defeats the purpose of this being a Flash film. I never like when the main character is depowered for a movie, particularly when it lasts for a long time. Do that as an episode plot in season 5 of a TV show or something but not for a movie. I’m watching the Flash to see the Flash run around and do cool things with his powers.

Instead this is used to prevent him from saving the day and using his cool powers. Instead we have to watch the other Flash learn how to use his powers. Again they’re trying to make this the big origin story kind of moment as he slowly goes through the motions. I get what they’re doing but to me it just did not work. The other Flash is just way too annoying the whole time and without his powers the first Flash isn’t particularly interesting. The whole plot felt very forced and lasted for a super long amount of time which was the roughest part. Depowering the hero is never a good idea imo.

Then we get to the core of the issue which is the dilemma of choosing to save the mother or not. Now you know where I stand on this, you absolutely do have to save her. The instant that you have the ability to manipulate time then you are now required to use it to save people. Why? One big reason is if you have this ability then it stands to reason that someone else does as well. The instant that time travel becomes real, there is no such thing as a correct timeline because you have no way of knowing if someone else has already changed time. So now you do need to use it to save as many people as possible. I’ll dive more into this in an editorial someday but yeah that’s a big one.

Then this scenario is even worse because it’s not like you’re trying to save a random person to which you would still be obligated to do so. It’s his own mother and he has to actively murder her by removing the can of tomato sauce from her shopping cart. That’s a huge no no, it’s virtually as bad as Eren by the end of Attack on Titan with the decisions that he made. Flash should not be doing this and unfortunately it’s a part of every Flashpoint adaption and never gets any better.

Now Batman makes the argument that some points in time cannot be changed because they’re fixed points. I didn’t buy into this in Spider-Verse and I certainly don’t buy it here. At least in Spiderverse you had some reason to buy into Miguel’s speech because the characters have been going across dimensions so they have something you can tangibly look at. In this one? Batman’s arguing pure hypotheticals because he’s never gone through time or to other dimensions. He talks with such confidence about how every other time travel theory is wrong but why should he believe this to be a fact? Personally I don’t buy into this time theory myself but even in universe I wouldn’t.

In fact, the film breaks its own logic. At the very end the Flash ends up moving the tomato sauce which causes it to be on the wrong shelf so the father looked up and that’s why the cameras caught him this time causing his innocence. This changes who Batman is and likely changes a whole lot of other things along with it. So…he just changed the past with no future effects. What the film should have done is end Jingle All The Way style with Flash realizing that he actually can change the past and he gets ready to dash off as the music flares.

I’ll never accept a reality where he has to destroy his mother and the film did a very poor job of trying to convince me otherwise. It’s the only good point I give to alternate Barry because at least he tried over and over again for numerous years to the point where he got old. That’s true dedication as opposed to Barry who gave up after 2-3 tries. Seriously you’d think he would have tried a little harder than that.

Additionally another issue I have here is that with time travel there will never be such a thing as a fixed point with the amount of options and speed that Flash has. Just go further back in time so you save Supergirl before the government gets her or some other radical changes that ensures the present won’t arrive. When you tell me that time will always happen the same way I don’t buy it because it’s just impossible. It didn’t work in the Booster Gold comic, it didn’t work in Mashle, it’s never worked convincingly in any form of media. When you have the ability to freely move through time then nothing is inaccessible.

The ending’s definitely a sour point to be sure. As to the power level issues, they’re not as big a deal but the Flashes taking on an army of Kryptonians and blasting them away with thunder? Eh, I’ve seen worse but I’m not totally buying that. By the same token though once time travel is on the table, they should have had no problem taking out Zod and friends with their unlimited prep time. After all that’s what it is…unlimited prep time. Take the scene where Flash tells Batman not to take on the ship and he quickly dodges. That’s an excellent way of using time to your advantage and he just had to keep on going.

Ultimately Alternate Barry makes for a cool villain design. Not as cool as Savitar from the show but it looks neat. I just wish he got to do more since he probably has less than 5 minutes of screen time. The movie needed a villain who was around longer. There was Zod but he’s always in the background for the Supergirl plot. We needed a villain for the Flash and that would have helped to elevate things or just give this guy more screen time and a true fight. Isn’t it a waste that this is a Flash movie yet there are no speedster battles? Cmon that’s kind of crazy since that’s something you look forward too.

The movie dropped the ball on a lot of potential with things like that. No speed battles, all of the cameos don’t get to fight with each other or help the Flash. The only one who got an action scene was against a giant monster which was cool and all, the best scene from the cameos. You just wanted a little more than that. Throwing in some extra excitement and action would have done the movie a world of good. Okay this ends the spoiler bit so lets wrap things up now.

Overall, The Flash is a good movie but the super long middle act really hurts the replay value of this one. It’s the kind of film you’ll probably have fun watching the big action scenes on Youtube but you don’t really need to watch the whole film again for that. It’s definitely still worth the watch though to see the next big DC adventure. Even if the ending’s no good, there is still a chance to fix it in the sequel. Just have the Flash find out who actually bumped the mother off and if it’s a certain speedster, then he’ll realize that the timeline was already messed up from the jump and he can make another attempt. That’s definitely how I would do it. As the Avengers would say: “Whatever it takes!”

Overall 6/10

The Cheap Detective Review

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It’s been a little while since I’ve seen a parody but I’m always up for this kind of a film. A well written parody will absolutely go a long way because when you understand the gags and see how the film pulls them off it can really be a blast. I would say that by and large this film really succeeds at it too. It probably ends up front loading most of the best gags into the first half but ultimately it’s a film I would recommend all the way through. There is also a good amount of replay value to be found here.

The main character here is a detective named Lou who is always in over his head. The guy’s not very good at his job and just barely manages to hang in there. This time he is in a particularly tough spot though as he is framed for the murder of his partner. He’s the main suspect as it was common knowledge that he had been cheating with the partner’s girl and she isn’t doing a whole lot to try and prove his innocence. She even shows up with the cops to his door on multiple occasions. Lou needs to put some distance between all of them and quick. He has some leads including old flames and very sketchy underworld figures. Will they be enough to help him crack this case once and for all?

Naturally as a parody this film never really takes it self seriously and you shouldn’t either. You’re here more for the laughs and smiles than the actual mystery. Right from the opening scene they set the tone on this as everyone has just been murdered yet they were all in odd poses and never broke formation even after the bullet hit them. That is impressive to be sure but also really crazy. All of the conversations tend to start getting nonsensical after a while which is part of the point.

One of the better scenes is when the heroine calls Lou up but openly allows the cops to listen in on the conversation. The film even pokes fun at how the hero always has a bunch of heroines after him as he gets involved with 3 during the course of this film and they all end up at his place at the same time. It takes a lot of agility and quick thinking to keep them all from meeting up with each other. Lou is ironically quick witted when it comes to situations like this as opposed to the actual case.

Although the case would be difficult for anyone to solve. There are always more and more twists here as more and more players jump into the action. Also you have to consider that even the best of detectives would start to run into trouble when every character is lying through their teeth and half of them make absolutely no sense. Honestly after the film is over you’ll have a hard time keeping track of everything as well. It almost feels like the characters’ stories are changing as the film goes on although that might just be my imagination. It would be a nice extra detail if that was the case though.

The main thing to keep in mind is just that the characters are trying to get some kind of special object the whole time and you’ve also got a war going on in the background. As long as you have all that context then the rest is easy. You’re bound to be laughing at quite a few of the scenes here and the pacing is good so the jokes don’t tend to overstay their welcome. Not every gag will land for you of course but in a film like this there are always a bunch of other jokes to pick up the slack for the ones that did not do so well.

This film just never runs out of jokes and that’s a good thing because it’s important for a comedy film to just keep plunging ahead without missing a beat. The writing is good which is also important and the story is engaging. As I said earlier my only issue to an extent is that they used all the best material in the first half. The second half had a tendency to just not have as many all star jokes the whole time. It was still funny but the first half is absolutely what put it on the map. That’s regrettable to an extent because the ending is always what people remember so you want to end really well.

If there’s anything the film is lacking it’s that we could have had a good rival to Lou. Someone who is super competent perhaps but somehow always gets foiled. That could have been a nice contrast to Lou because in the end none of the supporting characters were particularly memorable. They all just sort of fade off into the distance by the end and while that’s fine since the focus is on the lead, having one more really distinctive character would be good. In the end I’d say that the main police officer was the second best character as is. I liked how calm he was while munching on his snacks the whole time.

Overall, The Cheap Detective is definitely a very good film. I was super close to even giving it one more star but ultimately I would say a 7 is fair. It’s got a lot of replay value and a whole lot of great moments all throughout but in the end I would say it loses just enough steam not to make the jump to the next level. Either way I definitely recommend checking this film out. The more detective films you’ve seen over the years, the more you will get out of this one since it really does a thorough job of destroying the normal tropes.

Overall 7/10

The Thing with Two Heads Review

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It’s time to talk about this film which is definitely one of those titles that I really didn’t know about before watching it. It’s definitely not one that went on to win a lot of awards or anything like that but it embraces the absurdity of the whole story and ends up succeeding because of that. A certain car chase scene will either make or break the film for you though, that’s a guarantee!

The movie starts with Maxwell succeeding in his grand experiment to give a gorilla a second head through a surgical operation. This whole thing seems so crazy and yet it is now a reality. The real reason why he wanted to do this is so that he can put his head on another body since he is slowly dying. There ends up being a bit of a mixup though as the surgeons put Maxwell’s head on the body of Jack, an inmate who was sentenced to death. They wanted an inmate since the process will ultimately destroy the original host but Jack’s a little too smart for them. When he wakes up to find that he has an extra head, he breaks out and holds another doctor hostage, Dr. Fred. Now they are in a chase against the police. Even if Jack evades them, will his life ever be normal again?

There’s quite a lot to unpack right here. Lets put aside the fact that you can now remove someone’s head and put it on another body. That sounds pretty crazy but it’s the basis of the whole film so lets accept that as possible for now. There is a whole lot of plot convenience to Jack’s escape as he pretends to be asleep and then knocks out the staff but you’d think they’d be ready for that and have more security measures. Once he gets in the car though, that’s when things really get intense.

The police to their credit weren’t messing around. When they got the call that the convict was on the escape they basically sent the whole platoon of every officer in the state after him. We’re talking well over 40 police cars here and yet they all fall one by one to Jack. His car is just way more agile, nimble, and can hit those turns in a way that the police cars can’t as they all crash one on one.

The sequence goes on for an extraordinarily long time and like I said this is where the film will either lose you or you’ll be 100% on board. Personally I found the whole chase scene to be hilarious so this ended up helping the film in the end. Effectively this ended up making the film because it really got to embrace how hilarious the whole thing is. The same scenes just keep replaying like they were going out of style. I haven’t seen so much recycled footage in a very long time. that’s part of what makes it funny though even if it’s possibly a bit unintentional, it’s also fully possible that it was 100% intentional. We can’t rule that out.

In general the film has a lot of fun with the humor and I tend to enjoy the banter between Maxwell and Jack. See, a big part of the plot is that Maxwell is incredibly racist to the point where he tried to fire the new doctor Fred since he turned out to be black. Then when he’s merged with Jack….well he’s furious because Jack’s also black and so part of the dynamic is that Maxwell just can’t stand him. It’s to the point where Maxwell can’t even pretend to be nice to try and perform some kind of double cross. No, he’s as obvious as it gets the entire time.

Maxwell’s definitely the main villain of the film so the movie goes all in with making him as unlikable as possible. Meanwhile Jack’s a fairly calm guy who just wants to get out of this crazy predicament. He certainly never would have expected that he’d lose his body like this but he adjusts rather well. He doesn’t always make the smartest decisions like allowing Maxwell to knock him out but I guess as a scientist Maxwell would have a fairly strong will. Jack definitely has great skills with vehicles and escape though since he evaded all the cops.

There is a subplot about Jack saying that he’s innocent and trying to find the real criminal but that plot never goes anywhere so don’t worry about it. As for Fred, he’s hesitant to help the whole time so he spends most of the film waffling in the middle. Eventually he finally makes the big decision to be helpful though which was good. I feel like it should be an easy call to side with Jack in getting rid of Maxwell and restoring Jack’s body after all.

The cast is fairly small as those are really the main characters here. There are other scientist and you also have Jack’s girlfriend but for the most part the film is really focused around the main 3 here. They are the ones in the huge car chase scene after all and there isn’t really any room for the other characters. The film does throw an interesting misdirect at you with the gorilla that has 2 heads early on. Based on the title you’d expect that would have been the main plot so this was really a big shift. I got to watch the film without seeing the poster so that really helped to make the storyline a bit of a surprise.

I think it’s fair to say that the movie could have done more with the premise. Cut out the chase scene and throw in more dialogue and you would really have more opportunities for banter. That said, we still got a good amount here so I was satisfied. Honestly it’s the kind of film that I could definitely watch again because of how crazy it is so it’s got good replay value.

Overall, This is a pretty good movie. The plot certainly isn’t sound and you’ll find plot holes/conveniences throughout but the movie never forgets its sense of humor. There are a lot of good burns coming in from all the characters and you’ll have a good amount of laughs. Definitely check this out if the plot sounds intriguing to you. Not a whole lot happens technically since the plot goes on break for a while but you’ll still have a lot of fun either way.

Overall 7/10

Creed III Review

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It’s time to end the Creed trilogy. Well we may get more films but for now it’s a trilogy at least. The trailers for this one were pretty fun but the whole time I kept thinking that this should be the easiest victory for Creed by far. Could the film convince me otherwise? No, so on a power level standpoint I was a bit iffy about how the fights went down but either way this is a quality film.

The movie starts off with Creed winning another championship and deciding to retire while on top of the world. Things have really been going well for him but then one day his childhood friend Dame shows up. The guy had been locked up for many years due to something that happened in the past but he wants his chance to be a boxing pro. Creed lets him have that chance but the guy fights dirty and immediately rises to the top and tries to make Creed out to be the bad guy. Everything Creed has built is now at risk of being destroyed so he will have to enter the ring one more time. Can he manage to defeat Dame?

All right so lets put this into perspective here. Dame has been in jail for over 10 years. Yes he could still stay fit and everything but that’s 10 years of no boxing experience while Creed has already been known as a prodigy and quickly became the heavyweight champion of the world. You mean to tell me that in a few months Dame was able to get up to world champion level and give Creed a good fight? This isn’t Dragon Ball Z, I had a hard time believing this for a minute. I think the kind of story they were trying to tell here is a solid one about old friends leading you into trouble but there should have been more of a nerf to Creed to make the fight fair. His shoulder was a little banged up so I think maybe saying his leg was weak too could have worked.

Then we see how Creed has to rely on his mind to win the fight rather than brawn. It would tie in really well to the speech he gave his daughter too. As it stands though, I just didn’t buy into the power levels. Additionally you have to remember that Dame was fighting super dirty but the refs were missing every dirty hit. You mean to tell me that they continued to miss these hits in all of the fights after the opening one as this guy rose to the top of the ranks? Nah not in today’s world with constant 24/7 coverage, highlights and re runs. It’s just not happening so he should have been kicked out long before this was an issue.

A lot of convenient things had to happen in order for this confrontation to occur. Of course once we get to it, the actual fight was definitely really solid. We got a lot of solid moves here and the combat itself was really fast. You got to see just how fast the champs are in the ring. We even get a moment in the fight where it’s just the boxers and the audience fades away so you can focus on the moves. Neither fighter was pulling their punches and you are watching Creed for the actual boxing after all so if the fight’s good then you’re good.

Creed is a good main character here as you would expect. He can shut down a lot when his wife is trying to talk to him which can be annoying though. In a lot of ways he makes the situation a whole lot tougher than it really needs to be in this case. That’s the only reason why I would say he did go down relative to the last two films. It just felt like the old him would have confided in her more or at least would have done a better job of hiding his worries. He’s not helping anyone by stressing her out and staying silent. There were so many ways that he could have handled the situation considerably better than how he did. Instead he just made Dame’s job a lot easier in many respects.

Low key what would have been satisfying would have been for Creed to call his lawyers and just tell them to put a smear campaign against Dame. Point out all the cheating in the matches and get him suspended. Then Dame would always believe Creed did this but would have no proof. Boom you’ve just gotten your revenge without ever having to get into the ring. Of course that probably wouldn’t sound as appealing to Creed but it is an interesting plan of attack.

Bianca does well here and is trying to be there for Creed no matter how many times he tries to pull away. She was perhaps a bit oblivious when it came to Dame like inviting him over to the party when Creed was clearly not very comfortable but at the end of the day I still put that more on him for not saying anything. There’s only so much you can figure out on your own.

Then for Dame, well I can’t say that he’s too likable. He comes across as very entitles and super ungrateful almost from the jump. Creed does a whole lot to help him out, including even crossing some lines to get him opportunities that he shouldn’t really have yet. He’s doing everything he can and Dame still thinks it’s not enough and keeps bringing up the past. He seems like someone who will never be satisfied and then as soon as he starts to rise up he turns on Creed.

The guy was just using Creed until he could stand on his own and then start to backstab him. It’s a really bad look for Dame all the way through. Based on what happened in the past of course he could be a little resentful of how things played out but he shouldn’t even blame Creed. Dame made his choice to help which was good but then you have to live with that no matter how it turns out. Blaming someone else for your own actions is always something that you should just not do.

I also thought that the film went too easy on Dame by the end. Yeah he had a tragic backstory but it doesn’t change what he did in the present. He seriously injures different characters and does so intentionally. So by the end you really want to see him get beat and then preferably taken to jail. Instead the ending i played off more in an emotional way, like he’s change now and everything. It just feels too soft and isn’t very satisfying as far as endings go. I think that could have been a little smoother.

Meanwhile I liked Chavez but since you knew that he was doomed the whole time, his scenes didn’t hit as hard as they could. The guy just never looked super impressive which is a big issue. He is technically one of the strongest in the world right? So lets see that. Instead it just felt like the guy was a decent boxer and that was really it. If the series keeps going with more films I think it should start sowing the seeds for more characters to expand the verse. Open up the boxing world a bit because it just feels a bit too small right now if this guy is one of the best.

On the negative side, the soundtrack was considerably weaker than the first two films and probably the weakest in the Rocky franchise. You don’t have a lot of songs that pump you up the way that the old ones did. For the final battle when both competitors were walking into the ring, that’s usually when you get the really exciting songs and that didn’t happen here. Neither song got me particularly pumped. It’s not really my style of music in a sense but you should still grab a good variety of solid songs for a title like this.

The film definitely gets dramatic with several twists here and at least one supporting character not looking so good here with the secrets that she was keeping. In a lot of ways you could say that a moral here was in how keeping secrets will always backfire in the end and put you in a bad spot. It’s best to just tell people what’s going on and defuse the situation before it gets too serious.

Overall, Creed III is a solid film as you would expect. The fights deliver the way they always do and the story is good. Where the film gets held back a bit is in part due to the underwhelming music but also that the plot doesn’t hold up as well as the others. Creed is borderline out of character with how many secrets he is keeping and keeping Bianca at bay. If he doesn’t do that then this film plays out very differently. Additionally Dame just isn’t the big threat that the film wants us to believe he is which is another big issue there. Watch this for the fights and enjoy the action but I don’t think it’ll have quite as much replay value as the first two.

Overall 6/10

Double Dragon Review

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Double Dragon is a film that opens with its best fight scene right off the bat. That means you start off strong which is good but the huge downside to doing that is it means the rest of the experience is going downhill. Now granted, I did enjoy the film. It’s not great but I thought it was decently good. You are just surprised that the rest of the films aren’t as good as the opening because that showed you exactly what kind of potential this film had.

The movie starts off with Billy and Jimmy fighting against another pair of fighters in a martial arts tournament. They are doing well but unfortunately Billy makes a huge mistake and gets cocky which costs them the match. So they head home in disgrace and are then attacked by an enemy gang. See, this film takes place in the “future” which is the past at this point but the world’s not doing so hot. This is basically a dystopia as there is smog everywhere and a lot of acid all over the place. It’s really not safe after dark but Billy and Jimmy are rebels like that. They barely make it home where Satori lets them know about the dragon medallions. It’s rather sudden but they have to keep their half safe before the villain Shuko can get it or the whole world will be in trouble. Can these two teenagers man up and save the day or are they about to get absolutely rocked?

So like I said the opening fight is the best part of the movie. The fight scene actually has a lot of choreography to it and you can appreciate the stakes here. Nobody wants to lose in a tournament setting and Jimmy was actually doing really well until Billy ruined it for him. The fight had good music as well and with the film being based on a beat em up type game this is what you would expect. Unfortunately there are very few actual hand to hand battles after this and none of them are quite able to measure up.

Instead we have a lot of chase scenes and humor subplots but they don’t hit as hard. On the car chase I can at least appreciate the high tech gizmos that come into play with it but it doesn’t really stand out much. Then for the humor it’s often hit or miss. I like a lot of the puns and dialogue that the film is going for but some parts are just too outlandish and dragged out. For example one of the villains is named Bo and after he is defeated the villains decide to turn him into a huge Hulk type monster.

Now he’s nearly braindead and it seems like a rough fate for the guy but based on the music and scenes this is supposed to be funny to an extent. I’d say that the film definitely got lost in the sauce on this one. Any scene with Bo quickly became painful after this. You just did not want to see that guy at all and it’s not like he was a great villain before that but he definitely got even worse afterwards.

Then there is this whole subplot about Marian trying to unite the gangs and having what I guess you could equate to a nicer gang. They’re still vigilantes but they’re not so bad. With the police being extremely ineffective in this film as her own father the chief was nervous the whole time you do want this group out on the streets but it was a bit of a boring subplot. You were just waiting for the main characters to take the stage again.

The film does pick up again in the climax for the battle against Shuko though. We actually get to see the power of the Medallions in action and that also means that we have some more hand to hand fights at last. This does bring up some power level issues though because the medallion is supposed to be a big deal. It can even end the entire planet after all so what are two teenagers and their fists going to do about it? Well, at it turns out they can apparently do a whole lot about it. Kind of an odd way to dehype the object right?

Basically it can split you into shadows and has some other vague abilities including the ability to control someone else’s body but Shuko looks way too unimpressive. I just don’t buy him losing to the characters like that. Now I will say one hype thing about the climax is that we do get the iconic costumes at last. The costumes look really good too so the effects team held nothing back here. They should have given the heroes those costumes from the start but this was still a good way to end things. It showed you a bit of promise on how things could have been.

The movie tries to really nail the bantering dynamic between Billy and Jimmy but you just don’t feel like it works. There aren’t enough scenes of them actually being pals so it feels like they low key just don’t like each other. Even by the very end of the film one of the brothers tries to run away with the girl and ditch the other one only to be outsmarted by the guy already being in the car. It’s of course played up as a funny ending but yeah they spend most of the film being at odds with one another. The sequel probably could have fixed this but that’s not really in the cards.

Overall, At the end of the day Double Dragon isn’t a great film but it’s a pretty fun one. It’s a very old school title with a lot of campy action and witty banter. While not all of the film’s humor lands, I’d say that enough of it does. The villain has a classic base and the effects hold up well so you will appreciate the scenery behind him. The world isn’t very well thought out and it’s not super memorable but the film did try being grand here. There’s just enough unique elements about the film to make you want to keep coming back. I dare say there is a good amount of replay value to be found here although a modern remake could likely execute on the game’s premise way better. This could and should be an elite film just based on the game so I need the next one to focus on the fights a whole lot more.

Overall 6/10