Category Archives: Reviews

Kickboxer 2 Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

I wasn’t a big fan of the first Kickboxing film and unfortunately the sequel also gets a thumbs down too. I would say it is an improvement over the first but not enough so where I would be able to defend it. It suffers from a lot of serious plot issues like adding a sour note to the first film and overall just going for maximum edge there. It doesn’t even have the solid ost from the first film so things get tricky here.

The movie starts off by introducing us to David, another brother related to the main characters from the first film. He has skill in close quarters combat but isn’t quite as strong as the earlier two. He doesn’t fight anymore, however his gym isn’t doing well so he is forced to unretire. He’s still good enough to win his fights but the main problem is Tong Po has returned. It turns out that he murdered the main characters from the first film including the heroine and now he’s here for David. He has his goons murder a child and then they murder David’s protégé. Now the lead has to fight him but does he have the skills to beat this fighter?

The whole plot feels like something out of an edgy fanfic. “Yo what if…..the villain from the first film got better and murdered everybody!!” I mean cmon now, I know a villain can have a revenge story too but having the heroes lose so cheaply off screen is rough. We see someone get shot so it seems like Tong Po just used underhanded tactics to win. He would have needed to since the last main character heavily surpassed him by the end of the first film. It makes a very strong argument for why you need to completely bump off the villain after a point. Letting him stay alive just opened the door for things to go south.

It’s just such a bad plot point though. Then for extra edge we have the whole kid thing. So there are a bunch of kids that look up to David and want to get stronger. One in particular had a bit of a bad attitude but he was trying his best. Well, a group of fighters attack in the night and when burning down the dojo they take out a kid too. It’s clear this is for maximum drama and edge but the film really didn’t need that. I would argue if anything it’s actually a net negative. The kids didn’t need to be here and surely having his brothers murdered is already enough of a motivation for David.

The edgy backstory also hurts some characters. Namely Xian because with his daughter dead the guy should be out for blood right? He’s an expert fighter to the point where he is the world’s best coach so why not take down Tong Po himself? I never get why the masters can get so complacent when the stakes are this level of personal. Instead he’ll train David and said he will sacrifice the guy if necessary. That’s great, but go handle your business. He should have absolutely been doing whatever it takes to bring that guy down instead of just waiting until David was forced into the action.

It doesn’t make any sense. What else doesn’t make sense? Everyone sitting by as Tong Po shows up and murdered someone in the ring. This isn’t Thailand this time. It’s taking place in the US and yet the villains still have enough clout to break all of the rules as often as they want and get away with literal murder? I don’t care how rich the villains are, that doesn’t make any sense. If the protégé was smart he would have taken the tournament crown by default since the opponent wasn’t smart. Even then he should have won the fight early on when Tong Po was clearly cheating. The ref would call it out each time but not do anything about it so what’s the point there? It’s just a really bad look all around and it’s why the film’s plot is so forced.

I feel like the writers had the dilemma they wanted to get to and knew the conclusion but didn’t know how to organically get the plot there. As a result it’s all rather contrived and the film feels very try-hardish. David’s a decent main character but it would be nice if he could have stepped up a bit sooner. A really rough moment was when the invaders attacked at night. David’s an expert hand to hand fighter so couldn’t he have fought back at least a little bit rather than going down immediately and getting beaten up so badly? I didn’t like how easily he went down there, night or not.

Tong Po also doesn’t look as impressive here for obvious reasons. He claims to want honor yet he goes around taking down stronger opponents with guns? Then in the final fight he is only able to do well when there is a hostage at stake. The instant David can fight the guy goes down like a sack of bricks. It’s like he can’t fight at a very high level at all. In the first film at least it was clear that he was still an incredibly difficult opponent to take down. He would cheat for sure but the guy legitimately did have a lot of skills at his disposal. Here he’s just a chump.

Also while the final fight is fairly long, the power levels don’t make a lot of sense. Put it this way, David is getting completely smashed throughout the whole fight. He’s got tons of broken bones and is coughing up blood since he was told not to fight back due to the hostage stuff going on. So finally when they tell him to fight, he’s able to crush Tong Po just like that? People underestimate how bad those injuries will be acting up while you’re fighting. There’s no way you’re going to just be able to keep fighting as if you’re going into the battle fresh. At best it means Tong Po is just incredibly weak but that’s not possible from what we saw. At least not to that extent so the film overplayed its hand in trying to make the stakes high. Again it’s just not great writing.

Overall, Kickboxer 2 may have beaten the first film but that’s not saying a whole lot. It’s still got huge chronic problems all throughout. In general the kids weren’t needed as their scenes don’t even fit in with the rest of the film. The film’s rather serious and dark while their moments are trying to be a little too upbeat. Perhaps it could work if the film was written better but it wasn’t built for this. In the end I would say to just avoid this film. As bad as the first film was, at least the ending was satisfying but this film completely takes that away and makes it moot so it’s a double negative.

Overall 4/10

Starman Review

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Starman is one of those films that seemed a little iffy right out of the gate. The whole plot involves an alien impersonating Jenny’s husband and calling it a day. And this film is going to be part romance? Uh ohhhhhhhh. Yeah this is why the film was never going to get particularly far. Throw in that the pacing can be slow and the main character is super annoying and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

The film starts off with an alien crash landing to Earth after the government shot down his space ship. He has 7 orgs/magic spells at the ready and uses one to tell his people that Earth is dangerous. He then sees a widow named Jenny and decides to shapeshift into her dead husband. The alien is now “Scott” but he knows nothing about human customs, their ways, or even about talking. So he gets to work on learning all of this and until he does, he figures Jenny will be his prisoner. Jenny has to try and escape quickly before she falls victim to Stockholm syndrome. Will she be up to the task?

Yeah the romance here is just bad. Since her husband is dead, you would think that the last thing Jenny would tolerate is an alien shapeshifter. I would argue that a normal rebound is even better than this because at least it’s a different person. Choosing to get together with someone who looks like your husband but isn’t is just really eery and not something you should be doing. I would also argue that there is no reason for her to fall for him at all. He basically kidnapped her and then held her against her will for a long while. At what point would that really turn into some kind of admiration? I’m not buying it, no sirrrrrrrr. He basically got her pregnant through alien magic too and she was cool with it.

Jenny started out by being a tough character but started breaking down as the film went on. I would have preferred that she knocked “Scott” out early on and then escaped. She doesn’t have to help the government since those guys were real shady the whole time but not falling in love with this guy is the baseline requirement to being a really solid character here. The romance should have been cut out entirely.

It’s not even to say that “Scott” is a bad guy but I would still put him as more antagonistic than anything. While it takes him a while to learn the human customs so he isn’t intending to be a bad person, you can’t forget that he was completely threatening Jenny. This guy also seemed serious about it and while you know that he is changing, it’s not like you can just quickly see that and get together with him at the drop of a hat. It just doesn’t work like that by any stretch.

The film also suffers in large part due to “Scott” and how long it takes him to get used to Earth. It’s one of those tropes I’ve never been a big fan of where it takes him forever to understand what’s going on. So you see him make a lot of goofy faces, not know how to respond, etc. These scenes take forever and I just really prefer to have a character who is on the ball the whole time. Someone who knows what is going on and is ready to act. With his magic powers surely he could have used one of them to immediately understand human customs or something right? He comes far by the end but at first all of his scenes are absolutely brutal. You’ll be cringing a whole lot and that hurts the pacing.

Meanwhile the government makes for a decent villain but there isn’t a lot to them. They hire a freelancer to help out but that was the government’s mistake as he clearly had disdain for them from the start and instead of helping out he basically makes sure to get in their way the whole time. Seriously they would have been better off without him. In general while the government does get close at times, they rarely feel like much of a threat.

That’s why to add tension we see a deer die which was pretty regrettable. It’s a way for “Scott” to see how cruel the world is and how people hunt other animals. Fortunately he does use his abilities to revive it but it’s a scene that we didn’t really need. Still I wouldn’t say the film was ever aimless or anything. I wasn’t big on that scene of course but the film did have a plan the whole time and went ahead with it. You could easily transform this into a really fun film if you switch up the genre a bit. Have it be a thriller where “Scott” needs to evade the government until his backup arrives. Then we get a classic alien invasion film or something like that. You have to admit that would definitely be a lot of fun!

Of course if you really want to make this plot work, just don’t have Starman turn into her husband. Have him be an ordinary joe and gradually she falls for him. I think you’d still need to bypass all of the threats and such though for this to even be a conversation. Additionally it’s best for her to not even have a dead husband so that it’s not a big rebound like that. That would be an immediate upgrade to the plot and it’s not even that hard to pull off.

Overall, Starman isn’t a particularly good film. I would say that it starts off on the wrong foot with the romance right out of the gate. It’s just hard to get past that because it’s such a bad romance plot that only serves to actively harm the film. It’s hard to survive when one of your main genres is holding you back after all. There’s just no escape from that. Then mix in how Starman’s initial scenes really drag on and that doesn’t help either. To an extent it’s probably trying to be funny but give me the witty fast talking kind of humor over the slow on the uptake version any time. I’d say to avoid this film. The title sounds cool for sure but the actual film isn’t quite up to par.

Overall 3/10

Prophecy Review

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When you have a film about mutated animals running around often times it isn’t going to end well for the movie. This one was no exception as you’ll be shaking your head the whole time with the animal violence. The idea of the characters wandering into an area with a lot of radiation and creatures running around could be something more like Godzilla but that wasn’t the case here.

The movie starts off with Robert being asked to go look into a fight between some Native Americans and a lumber company. Robert asks why he would possibly be asked to do this and he’s basically just told to stop asking questions. Well, if he’s going to do this job then he’ll do it right and since he works for the EPA he looks into the radiation. Unfortunately this area is ignoring all environmental standards and toxic sludge is being tossed around. This sludge not only causes birth defects but seems to be triggering some kind of changes within the lifeforms around here. What can Robert do about this?

For the drama angle we have his wife Maggie who is pregnant with their future child and of course this is bad news for her. Any kind of birth complication would be particularly worrisome. Then there’s also the fact that Robert really doesn’t want kids. I forget if Maggie just forgot to use protection that time or if she just really wanted the kids, or if the film even addressed that. Either way she isn’t quite sure how to mention this to him so that causes a lot of tension.

Now if you are with someone who expressly says that they don’t want kids before you get married then you already know the score and shouldn’t try to mess with that. If it’s an accident then of course there’s nothing you can do about it so the context is important for this angle. Either way I wouldn’t say it adds a lot to the film since we’re here for the action, not for this romance plot which is definitely not the highlight anyway. Neither character ends up looking all that good by the end of that plot.

Maggie’s a bit too timid in bringing the topic up before it’s far too late. Once she was hearing about the sludge she should have let him know. Meanwhile Robert was so absorbed in what was going on that he didn’t pay her much attention at all. He at least tries to diffuse tensions within the camp but rarely does all that good a job of it. This guy’s a researcher, not a fighter so don’t expect him to get a ton of fight scenes.

Isely represents the company in this movie so naturally he is fairly corrupt and can’t really be reasoned with. When John and the tribe try to stop him from going further he nearly murders one of them. Of course he had to go through for his job and could have definitely knocked them around a bit but of course murdering them is never the answer. John is the leader of the tribe or at least the main acting member and he tries hard to protect the tribe’s interests but the plans aren’t always very well thought out. Standing in front of the jeep with the rest of the characters would just make it easy to be run over. Ultimately corporate would do that in order to save a few bucks.

Of course at the end of the day the movie is fairly standard in a lot of ways so it would have been fine without the animal angle. What really sinks it is what happens at that point. You have animals getting poisoned and dying out, being eaten, and then of course the final bear monster which looks incredibly deformed. It seems to be in pain just by existing. While the film’s about the Katahdin monster, it’s safe to say that this was still just an average bear. Even if it was film budget limitations that insisted on this, it doesn’t change that it wasn’t the big hyped hybrid.

Having a bear as the final boss is regrettable because of course that means the characters have to be attacking it even when it’s just trying to save its cub and take down the pesky humans. This is a problem all films involving antagonist animals have to deal with and it doesn’t leave the movie a lot of hope for making a comeback. Animal violence basically becomes unavoidable at that point.

It’s not like the film has any aspect that really sticks out to try and combat this either. It’s really a very standard film all things considered. There’s also one scene that will have you puzzled where John stays in the water for a very long time as the bear approaches. You fully expect it to pop out of the water and grab the guy but surprisingly in the 11th hour he manages to get up and run away. A bit of a pointless scene then right? Why was he even staying in the water? You can’t tell me he was so exhausted that he couldn’t move because adrenaline should take care of that real quick.

Overall, Prophecy is a title that probably won’t make you think about evil animals right away. Of course that is a bit misleading since it’s all the pollution’s fault. Not like the animals wanted to turn giant or deformed. That said, the movie ended up being pretty bad due in large parts to the very realistic effects for the deformed animals and the plot in general. It could be hard to look at the bear or the other animals directly in general. Throw in the romance plot that really didn’t add anything at all and this film was sliding downhill the whole time. I highly recommend avoiding this one and in general you will want to avoid films with an animal at the end like this. Trust me they aren’t going to stand out.

Overall 1/10

The Cincinnati Kid Review

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It’s always tragic when you have a film that is executing the story at a really high level but then it gets bogged down by scenes that don’t actually enhance the plot. The actual gambling scenes are excellent and I love the tension/build up to the final battle. Unfortunately along the way the film stumbles into some really unfortunate animal violence and the main character is as weak willed as they come. This makes for a very dicey part of the film that drags the rest down with it.

The movie starts off by introducing us to the Kid who is an excellent poker player. In fact he’s so good that he has to go out of town to find new opponents now because everyone in the city owes him a ton of money. He’s just a natural at this kind of thing and now the world’s greatest player Lancey is in town. Their battle is sure to shake the entire planet but can The Kid win? If he does then he will become “The Man” and everyone will respect him forever. However, if he loses then all is lost because he’s staked everything on this. What he doesn’t know is that the shady Mr. Slade also wants the Kid to win even if it means pulling a few strings.

The only thing worse than losing a match is realizing that you only won because someone was cheating. That’s the dilemma that The Kid runs into here with all this match fixing going around. Slade works well as the main villain with how he’s always threatening everyone and pulling his weight around. You really don’t want to go up against that guy in the ring. That said, it would be nice if everyone could just resist like The Kid did. He wasn’t going to play ball at any time and that’s the right move.

Unfortunately Shooter is a lot weaker willed. It was a shame that he couldn’t resist the blackmail at all. Yeah it involves his wife Melba and her past but lets face it she doesn’t care who knows about that. In fact she seems proud to flaunt how available she is at every point as she keeps on rubbing Shooter’s nose in it. The guy has no self respect as she uses and abuses him the whole time. That’s why I didn’t like Shooter. Even if he hadn’t started cheating at the end, he really needs to know when it’s time to cut your losses. He’s sacrificed everything for her and it’s clear that it would never be enough.

Of course Melba is a very bad character as well. She clearly doesn’t mind cheating at all and seems to enjoy bringing everyone down to her level. She is a bad influence to all of the characters. If you’re her friend then she will find a way to take you down as well. That’s just who she is at this point. Now is where I have to take some shots at The Kid as well though. Sure his skills are good and I like the confidence but as a character he has to take a big thumbs down here.

For starters he actually does let Melba seduce him on more than one occasion. He completely betrays his girlfriend in these moments and it’s why the ending of the film is not deserved in the slightest. The Kid has no degree of self control or self respect whatsoever and it’s just a shame to see that. His girlfriend Christian deserved a whole lot better than what she got and she should stay away from him after that. Her parents didn’t seem to like him much at all and their gut instincts were right here.

Then there is also the scene where he has his rooster fight someone else’s. Animal fights have long since been banned fortunately and maybe even at the time they were. The Kid knew his way around the underworld so that might be what this is but the whole fight should not have been in the movie at all. It’s a really bad moment and it gets rather violent too. Especially since there was no CGI back then I worry about the animals used for this shot. I like to think they’re okay but either way the film itself doesn’t get a pass for that scene. Just bad stuff all around.

So I would say the only good character in the film would have to be Lancey. Christian takes some fault as well for being a bit too naïve and also for doubting her own instincts of leaving. Lancey at least was doing his best to win the whole time and wasn’t about to get distracted. No, he’s in it to win and you can see how he became the champion. At the end of the day he never lost concentration and also didn’t give up even when he was losing in the fight. Poker is about luck to a good extent but there is also a lot of skill involved. You have to be able to defeat your opponent mentally as well as with your deck. That’s the only way that you’re going to be able to pull this off.

I liked how the film showed the characters practicing their math too since that is really how you can try to make Poker into a game of science. Memorize the cards that have been played and then you have to make a snap judgment on if you take the bet or not. Nothing’s a sure bet but it makes sense that knowing the cards that have been dealt will help you with the odds. Then if you play enough with the law of averages you should come out better than someone who is just playing wild. So there was a lot of thought put into this.

It’s the most detailed Poker game that I’ve seen in any movie thus far and it’s handled perfectly. I love the atmosphere and intensity of the games and if the film had purely stuck to that then it would have been great. The pacing and writing were also on point so you were really invested in what was happening. The Kid just needed to stay strong but either way I was rooting for Lancey since the hero made way too many mistakes like with the roosters and then with Melba.

Overall, The Cincinnati Kid is a very entertaining movie. It never lets up from start to finish and so there are a lot of moments that will have you at the edge of your seat. I just couldn’t recommend it though because the low moments hit really hard like the rooster battle. Even all the cheating and horrible romance doesn’t hurt the film quite as much as that sequence did. It’s just hard to fall that hard but of course all of the scenes really add up. I loved part of the ending, it was all great except for the very last scene which also ends things on a bit of a whimper. I’m really tempted to bump this one more star up the middle but ultimately I couldn’t do it. For a tense film, check out Demon Slayer the movie instead.

Overall 4/10

The Second Time Around Review

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The Second Time Around is one of those films where you’ve got a pretty decent setup for a wild west film but it doesn’t take itself all that seriously and gets lost in the sauce. You can do a pretty good parody if you want or make this a full comedy but in the end this one didn’t do either of that. The romance actually ends up bringing it down. It’s still reasonably entertaining at times but has enough flaws to prevent me from calling it a good movie.

The movie starts with a lady named Lu heading to the wild west to get a job so that she can provide for her kids. As a single mother it ain’t easy ever since her husband died while on duty. Still, she is ready to do something about this but the job falls through and she only manages to get by thanks to the grace of an old lady named Aggie. Aggie decides to help Lu out which is great but helping out with odd jobs isn’t going to be enough to pay the bills. Perhaps if Lu were to become Sheriff then she could change things but the town is a corrupt one with a lot of powerful players. Can Lu really hold her own when she is new to the area?

Really where the film breaks down is the romance as I mentioned so lets jump right to that. Dan and Pat both fall in love with Lu as soon as she appears. Dan is the bad boy of the town who operates an illegal gambling/beer joint while paying off the corrupt sheriff to keep it operational. Naturally that means Lu does not have a whole lot of respect for the guy. That being said, he has a quick wit which makes it easy to fool her.

Then you have Pay the nice guy. He plays things by the book and wants to win her over the right way. Of course you know that means he’s probably doomed here since things always get tough for the nice guy. It’s part of the film that will have you shaking your head. Now by no means am I saying Lu should have gone with him. Being a nice guy doesn’t mean you’re owed anything in the slightest and if he’s not her type then that’s it. It’s not about who lost but about who won. See part of what hurts here is how far Dan goes.

He tricks Lu into going out with him into the mountains because he knows that she needs money for her kids. So he claims there is gold up there and even plants some so she could get a bit and then ideally fall for him since he helped her out so much. He even takes the chance to steal a few kisses from her during the movie which is always an extremely bad look. Seriously you can’t come back from that so Lu somehow liking him in the end anyway is pretty crazy. This is the kind of film that is throwing in a romance that doesn’t need to be there.

I’m cool with them becoming friends in the end. He helped save her life at the end after all so maybe they call it square but actually getting together with him? Nahhhh that’s definitely no good. It also means that the film has a pretty weak cast since Dan is supposed to be one of the likable characters. You just can’t really end up liking him after all of that. It’s just way too late for him to even begin to mount a comeback.

I don’t mind Pat all that much. He’s a likable guy but a little too timid and slow to act. So he does lose some points for that. Then we have the main villain as the Sheriff. I knew the guy was corrupt from the start but I didn’t really suspect just how corrupt he was. Definitely one of the more petty villains but at least he gave the film a little danger along with the rest of the bandits. Unfortunately this shows why Lu would not make for a good sheriff.

See at the end of the day you need a sheriff who can really fight. Someone who is an excellent shot with a gun or something like that. If Lu could shoot down everyone in her way then of course it makes sense for her to lead. But she goes down so effortlessly against the villains without even putting up a fight. I’d say that is what really hurts her in the end. If the film could have at least had her defeat a few fighters first then that would have absolutely helped a whole lot.

Aggie was a nice character although she didn’t do a whole lot here. The fact that she gave Lu a place to be where she could earn money was nice of her though. So all in all you can see why this film didn’t rank as highly as it could. It ended up being rather jumbled with no really strong aspects to the film. It wasn’t particularly going for a comedic angle so there weren’t a ton of jokes to keep it afloat. The fight scenes on average weren’t all that good for one of these films and of course the romance was really not good.

If they toned down how naïve Lu was and made her a little more skilled that would have done the film a world of good. I do think there is a decent film somewhere in here but it’s buried really deep. It’s not even an awful film or anything like that but I wouldn’t call it a good one. Ultimately you will want to give this one a skip. Lu didn’t even get to keep the gold she got since she threw it away in rage. I have to say that I would have kept the gold. Planted there for me to find or not, it’s mine now and gold was worth a whole lot back then. You really want to keep it.

Overall, You can even tell from the title of the film how this is going to be about a rebound. I already don’t care much for rebound romances so making that the very center of the movie is already starting things off on the wrong foot. If you’re going to do a classic story of two guys fighting over the girl then don’t add the dead husband in the first place. Just make it an initial romance and that’s already a much more wholesome plot. It’s still not going to save the fact that Dan’s such a bad character but it’s the attempt that counts.

Overall 4/10

Where the Wild Things Are Review

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This is one of those movies that didn’t have a lot of potential since the main character is just a kid but even then it went lower than I expected. One of the big problems with the film is really that it gets really boring. For the most part I want to say that nearly every film has something really engaging in it. Something that you can sink your teeth into and have a good time but that wasn’t the case with this one. You’re just waiting for it to end and a big reason for that is the annoying main character.

The movie starts with Max building a snow castle but he is bored by himself. He tries to get his sister and her friends to play with him but in the process they break his snow castle so he cries for a while. He decides to embarrass his mother next and then runs away from home. This is where he falls into the land of the monsters and decides to be their king. Fortunately none of them are even remotely smart so they don’t mind working for a kid but is this really the life that he wishes to lead?

Now you may have suspicions on if this is really happening or not but I won’t spoil that for you. All I will say is that the film really does feel aimless for almost the entire run which is really my problem with it. Look, the monster designs aren’t even that cool when you really think about it. I personally didn’t find them scary but I also didn’t find them interesting. It’s like a bad episode of Barney but without the wholesome messages the whole time. Sure, you sort of see what they’re doing as these monsters help Max to see what a jerk he had been but it’s soooo drawn out.

Also, it really hurts that they made Max as unlikable as possible. It’s hard to really be sympathetic to him when he’s causing all of these problems. For example when the kids broke his igloo, sure that wasn’t very fun but it was part of the game and they didn’t realize how bad it was. At least one kid turned around so you know that he knew they went too far but ultimately he left. Max was a little too dependent on them there and should have just kept on keeping on. He got to play with the others for a bit so that should have made him happy.

Then later on his Mom tried her best to help him out and he rewards this by biting her and being a general pest while her rebound boyfriend was around? Nah that’s a really bad look and I’d argue that he never gets much better during the course of the film. With the monsters he tends to be very slow on the uptake and only survives because the creatures aren’t very smart.

It makes for a bit of a cringeworthy kind of film. You have a hard time watching the movie with a straight face. Now granted, I can absolutely see this being fun when you’re a young kid in some instances but I wouldn’t recommend this to a kid because it can be a little intense. The opening scene with the dog for example sets a really bad example. I also thought the dog should have shown up more later on because for a while there I was nervous that he died or something.

That’s not the case but it was a horrible way to open up the film. Worst scene there by far and it shows that Max doesn’t even have any basic common sense. You don’t run around with a fork while terrorizing your pet. That’s just not done and makes him look so bad. So with a main character like Max then you’re just not going to get very far with this film. Additionally for the vast majority of the film he is the only human character. You can’t banter off of the monsters so that means he has to try and hold the whole film by himself which is basically impossible. Trust me he is not up to the task at all.

I think if you really wanted to succeed with this plot then you needed more of a true main villain. An evil king running around and then you have his mom, sister, and the friends all appear as figures within the dream. It would be something more like Narnia for example with maybe a mix of Alice in Wonderland in there. The idea of a kid trying to run away from his problems into a fantasy world is nothing new. It’s been done many times before and done quite well I might add. This one doesn’t work though because it doesn’t have that focus and everything takes so long to happen. I’ve gone into the pacing a lot because it’s just so absolutely critical.

The monsters here are all just really annoying. They are easily tricked and barely serve a function beyond just being convenient figures for the main character to manipulate. Put him in a world with almost any other kind of creature and that would be game over. Mix it with the rather grim setting and they don’t stand out at all. Maybe if you couldn’t have the world be bright, at least make the monsters have bright costumes or something. I think that could have worked out a little better. The film’s chronic issues wouldn’t be fixed so it’s not like this would turn everything around but it would be a start.

Overall, This film had the issue of having the deck stacked against it from the start. Having a kid as the main character rarely works and certainly not one this unlikable. The story takes forever to move and even by the end I wouldn’t say that it ever got really high tier or anything like that. Eh there’s just not much of a reason to watch this one so stick away and just watch a more engaging picture. You’ve got options out there.

Overall 2/10

Airport (1975) Review

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Now it’s time to venture into the second Airport film. It’s actually a good film across the board but the problem with it is similar to the problems that Airplane 2 had. It’s just weaker than the original one in pretty much every way. In a vacuum the movie is perfectly acceptable and you won’t have any problems with it but at the same time you feel like it could do so much more with the concept. Also, the premise on the poster is better than the whole movie. “The Crew is dead” would have made for a really intense plot. Like only the stewardess is left to try and survive. Then of course you would need more scenes on the ground to balance this.

So this movie starts by introducing us to a lot of characters getting ready to board their plane. You have some travelling nuns, a sick child who badly needs a rib/kidney transplant, a stewardess who wants to get into a serious relationship, etc. Everyone is stressed and ready to get going but the plane ends up colliding with another one so now the plane is going to go down unless they can find a way to land this craft without the pilot. It’s going to take a lot of teamwork with the ground crew but this is the moment to surpass all of their limits!

I know what you’re thinking here. The film is called “Airport” so what about the airport scenes? Well unfortunately there aren’t a whole lot of those this time. The plane takes off fairly early in the film and the vast majority of the scenes take place up there. You do have scenes in the subplot with the grounds crew trying to direct the stewardess but very few scenes in the airport itself. I think that’s the biggest shame here because you need that for proper setup. When you jump right into the plane then you lose a whole lot.

For example, I would make the case that virtually every plot in the first film is more developed than this one. The cast of characters is a lot stronger and even the bomb threat was a lot more engaging than the collision plot here. The main problem is there are only so many ways you can drag out the tension on a small plane like this. After a while everyone is just panicking in the same ways and it doesn’t feel like a whole lot of progress is being made. That’s really the roughest part here. The movie quickly runs out of material.

Nancy is a good main character. She does a good job controlling the plane and doing her best to get it back up during the emergency. You have to give her a lot of credit there and yet the scenes do go on a bit too long. There’s a lot of yelling and reading out what’s on the panels a lot. The film is going for maximum realism here and I’m sure anyone familiar with the inner workings of the plane will get an extra kick out of that but as a viewer you can’t help but wish they could speed things up a little bit. This plays out more like an airplane simulator at times than a few movie and the first film had a much better balance on that.

It’s still not enough to make this movie go into the red of course but keeps it from a higher score. Same with the writing in general. You may crack a smile at some moments but it’s not nearly as funny as the original one. Some of the characters really just see like jerks the whole time although at least there is less cheating going on. For example one character keeps panicking and taking shots at all of the staff when he should be more focused on letting everyone concentrate. I wouldn’t say it’s unrealistic because there are absolutely people like that but he gets annoying fast.

People just panic so much when the plane is in the air and you’d figure they would know there is nothing that can be done and would just calm down. After a while that’s the only sensible thing to do. Then on the ground I think they could have given better instructions to Nancy on how to fly the plane out. It’s not like driving it is easy but the instructions to turn didn’t seem that bad if they didn’t take forever to get each instruction out.

At the end of the day the pacing here was definitely shot from the jump. The pilots weren’t the most likable ones like the young one who was constantly flirting. At least the older one stayed respectable for the most part but ultimately he does get written out of most of the film. The movie will definitely remind you why flying is always a risk and to try and get some sleep so you won’t notice what is going on. One guy did that for the whole film and it ended up being a great idea since he had no stress.

Fortunately there aren’t any particularly bad scenes that will have you groaning though. The reason why I can still call this a good film is because it’s not hard to watch. It may drag on at some points to be sure but you can still get through those moments. The effects on the plane were good too. Some of the subplots introduced don’t even really get resolved which is interesting in a subversive way. The film ends rather quickly and for the most part you can assume how all of the plots ended up. Some in positive ways and some in negative but at the end of he day it didn’t really need an aftermath. Life just went on.

Overall, Airport 1975 is a film that doesn’t feel like it serves much purpose in the grand scheme of things. You aren’t likely to remember it after a while and for sure it will be overshadowed by the original as well as the fun parody Airplane. Still, I’d be able to recommend this film easily enough. You just have to have a high tolerance for listening to the characters talk about the details of how to fly the plane for a very, very long time and it’s all played very seriously. The movie doesn’t really take much time for humor and I think it could have used more jokes. Like I said earlier though, this film’s sort of like an airplane simulator insead.

Overall 6/10

Harriet Craig Review

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Now it’s time to look at another movie where the plot only works if the main guy looks really bad. He definitely takes the cake for being oblivious and weak willed here. Now to an extent if he knew what was going on and chose to ignore it then that wouldn’t be as bad. It would be like going down the simp route and then that’s that. It’s a dicey decision but it would have been his to make, but being oblivious is far worse. That’s something that is really hard to get around and makes his character unsalvageable.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Harriet and Walter who appear to be a perfectly happy couple. They get along great and all but as the film goes on we see that this isn’t what it appears to be. Harriet rules the house with an iron fist as she completely controls Walter’s movements, who he hangs out with, etc. She disrespects everyone around her and so Walter’s maids and friends dislike her but none of them have the guts to tell Walter directly. Meanwhile poor Walter is in the palm of her hands.

Whenever Walter is about to go out with his friends Harriet quickly lets him get some action so he has to cancel his appointment while she manages to drive a further wedge between all of them. Walter ultimately doesn’t even realize that it has been years since he has seen his friends. Slowly he is starting to get to experience life again and when his job offers Walter a promotion Harriet realizes that she needs to hurry and chain Walter up again before it’s too late. Can she end up securing the trophy?

So lets go back to Walter for a moment. Here’s the deal, there are some guys who don’t mind sacrificing everything to be with their girl. She can be as toxic as possible but he’s cool with it as long as he still has her. That’s problematic in its own way but as least he’s in control. What makes this worse for Walter is that he doesn’t realize the situation that he’s in and just thinks things are normal.

How did he not realize that he hadn’t seen his friends in multiple years? How did he not realize that they all couldn’t stand his wife? Then we have Harriet telling him to be careful where he sits, use a coaster, etc. Seriously he’s basically a guest in his own house which is messed up. Then she is always mean to the hired help and this guy doesn’t notice a thing. Now they definitely should have approached him but there are limits to how oblivious you can be. In the end he only really figures this out thanks to someone helping him out. Even then he nearly made the wrong move and let her back in until another twist.

The film is tragic in the sense that I’m sure a lot of people get fooled like this. Especially in real life there can always be a ton of small deceptions all around you that are much harder to detect. Such is the tricky battle of love and hoping that you know someone’s true nature before it’s too late. You have to try and notice if things don’t make sense and if others feel like you’ve changed. If everyone says you’re a bit different now then that’s worth looking into.

It would just have been nice if Walter could have been a little more aware. Instead things get awful tricky for him and it’s nearly too late in the end. Meanwhile Harriet makes for an intense villain although she certainly does get sloppy in the end. If Harriet hadn’t been quite as bold then she probably could have still stopped Walter but ultimately her mad quest for power is what got her. She just couldn’t hold back her controlling ways any further.

The writing is solid here and it’s an engaging story. Ultimately it is just held back by how annoying Walter is and how everyone just takes it from Harriet. It would be nice if they fought back a little bit and made it hard for her. There are a ton of ways you can counter attack. Frame her, make up some stuff, or the obvious and easy thing to do…tell Walter. He won’t just disregard the words of the maid he’s known for even longer than his wife. It just doesn’t make sense that everyone was so quiet here. They made it all way too easy for Harriet which is why the plot doesn’t work if everyone was being reasonable.

At the end of the day being married is supposed to be a fun thing so if your quality of life takes a nosedive then you need to figure it out. At the end of the day that’s why playing life on solo mode can always feel real appealing. At least the film gives us a glimpse of a relationship that should go well in Clare’s subplot. In theory that should work out at least so the film’s showing that things don’t have to be like this. Props to the film for not trying to make Harriet sympathetic at any point though. She gets a backstory but it’s clear from the jump that she is heavily overreacting and still went down the wrong path.

Overall, This is a movie that doesn’t have a lot of replay value because it’ll be hard to go through the whole thing. It’s not like it has a lot of issues but the contrived story is something that does take quite a few points away. Honestly just make Walter aware of everything and it makes the film a whole lot better. He would still stink as a character but at least it would make a lot more sense. Would have been an intense moment if at the end he admitted that he noticed everything but thought that being with Harriet was still worth it. In the end though he just wasn’t quick enough to keep up with her and that was his downfall.

Overall 5/10

The Hand that Rocks The Cradle Review

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This review is based on the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

There are some films where you wonder how the plot can work without the main characters looking awful and then you realize that they just do look awful and that’s how the film happens. This should be over in a few minutes if the main characters played it smart tbh but that’s how it goes I guess. I’d say this film’s more of a skip, you don’t really need to check it out.

The movie starts off with Claire and her husband Michael getting ready for her next baby to be born. Unfortunately the doctor at the clinic turns out to be a full criminal and takes advantage of Claire so they sue him and the guy quickly deletes himself. His wife tries to stay strong but fails and when she faints her baby is lost. The wife swears revenge on the main characters and changes her alias to Peyton. Peyton quickly heads to the house and is immediately hired by Claire to be the nanny to help out around the house. Now Peyton can begin work on splitting the family apart and ultimately murdering Claire. How will she pull this off though?

So it turns out that letting a random stranger into your house without any real background checks can be a real danger eh? Peyton starts misplacing items, destroying reports, and basically making Claire look really bad since it’s like she’s losing her mind. Peyton makes sure to threaten the gardener, manipulate Claire’s older daughter against her, and even directly handle the baby far more often than Claire so he stops liking her. Yes it’s all very easy…because the characters make it easy. Seriously none of this should be working out at all.

First off we have Peyton hanging out with the baby more than Claire. Claire should be with the baby as often as possible. Sure, she’s busy but why is Peyton basically left all day to give the baby walks, put her to bed, etc? That should still all be Claire’s duty and not because it’s a job but because you want to be with your baby right? Claire does have asthma and can get sickly at times but not all the time so this always felt a little forced. When you’ve just had a kid you’re usually going to be staying around the house a lot. I know they hired a nanny for a reason but yeah this was not a good idea.

Put it this way, even if Peyton wasn’t evil, it’s still possible that the kid and baby would end up bonding with the nanny over the parents if they spent so much more time with her. It just makes sense. It also would help if the parents actually listened a bit more. When Peyton frames the gardener, they don’t even try to listen to their daughter about how it was all fixed. Yeah the evidence was pretty bad so I wouldn’t expect them to be too reasonable but at least listen to her side for a bit right?

For the most part I would say that Peyton’s not even that subtle about all of this. Wearing her necklace as if to boast about how she’s the mother now, her seduction attempt on the husband, etc. At least to the guy’s credit he never cracks or comes close to cracking on that front but these are all massive red flags. Peyton’s initial appearance was a huge red flag since she wasn’t from any agency and happened to be in the neighborhood? Cmon now it may be a beautiful day in the neighborhood but you don’t just happen to be wandering around one.

Then even once they find out Peyton is the villain and have to take her down they handle is horribly. The husband lets himself get thrown down a flight of stairs and the main heroine’s stab attempt didn’t go very well. This is why you need to at least know some basic self defense. Or if you’re going to run, then run right away. Waiting at the house to pack everything up is always going to take way too long when you have a villain on the loose. You feel bad for Claire’s best friend quite a lot since she was at least making some headway but got way too sloppy towards the end. The classic reverse psychology trick worked on her.

The whole deception to make Claire jealous by revealing that her husband was hanging out with the friend was also really contrived. Look, surprise parties can be fun but never if it means lying to your wife about it. What matters more, keeping the secret or keeping her trust? It should be a really obvious decision or at least I would hope that it is. That’s where you just tell her that there is a surprise party coming up and to keep it on the downlow or something like that.

He has to know how it would look since the friend was an old ex of his. In general you don’t want your husband or wife to hang out with an ex in general, let alone in secret. Now it all comes down to trust so if you’re comfortable with your partner still seeing an ex then hey, power to you. Me personally? Nahhhhhhh, the ex needs to leave the picture completely. It’s way too dangerous to keep an ex around so there’s no hanging out as friends after that. It’s tough terms but that’s just how it has to be in order to keep the relationship strong.

Then you have Solomon who has a rather tragic role for most of this. He’s disabled so he already has a tough time explaining himself or talking so when he’s framed there isn’t a whole lot that he can do about it. He’s just trying to help but he’s in a really tough position the whole time. Especially since you see this coming right from the start of the movie, you can only watch and wait for the inevitable.

Aside from the story being rather weak and forced, the movie just isn’t generally high quality. Using the doctor for shock value at the start of the move is a whole scene that could have been completely skipped. Make up some other reason for revenge, but starting off the movie with Claire being attacked like that was pretty bad. The film also had some obvious fanservice in feeding the baby and while that shows how insane Peyton is in her role, you definitely don’t need to linger on those moments. Mix in the sub par writing and you don’t have a winning movie here.

Overall, This is a movie that only works when all of the characters make the worst decisions as if this was a horror movie. The story only starts at all because they happened to pick Peyton out of all the available candidates without bothering to look into her records at all. Who wouldn’t do their due diligence when you have a baby and a kid in the house right? Then you have the husband randomly keeping a secret when he shouldn’t have, a “accident” murdering the friend and not immediately grabbing a shotgun, the important report completely vanishing, etc. At least Claire picks up on the list of odd coincidences later on but sure took her time in doing so. Yeah this is one you should definitely skip.

Overall 2/10

Cardfight!! Vanguard will+Dress Season 2 Review

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Cardfight returns with another dynamite season! It truly is one of the most legendary comebacks out there and once the Dress franchise is over it will be fun to formally compare this segment of the franchise to the original, G, and then the reboot. While Tohya gets the shaft in this one, we still get a ton of great duels in each episode. The tensions are constantly high and you really feel like the action never stops. Trust me you don’t want to put this series down until you have completed it!

The main plot here follows Yu-Yu, Tohya, and Raika as they travel to America after having won the last big tournament. It should be a fun event where they just test their limits against the most powerful fighters out there but ultimately that’s not all that is in store for them. See, Cardfighters have been vanishing, defecting from their teams, and generally playing a more soulless game. There seems to be a group at the center of all this and it’s become such a big deal that even the government is involve. With Yu-Yu away on business, can his friends back home really defend themselves? They’re definitely going to need to improve their skills if they want to make a difference here.

First off I appreciate that the plot is really going strong here. The villains over at Team Uniformers are done with hiding/biding their time. They’re going straight for the wins now and that makes them quite the sizable threat. This feels like a modern version of the Link Joker story. Sure they may not literally be sealing people’s souls but it’s the same effect as anyone who is defeated quickly drinks the Kool-Aid and stops dueling like themself. It does result in a massive boost of power too which is something you always want in a duel so that makes thing tempting. I would have added some explicit supernatural theme to the mix just because otherwise it’s in an odd middle ground that makes the defeated fighters just look bad.

One loss shouldn’t be enough to make you toss your deck and lifetime of experience away right? That’s where the Link Joker plot had the edge since it was actual magic. The villain group is quite stacked though as their members were already super powerful before they got turned. Now that they have embraced the powers of darkness their abilities have grown even more to an absolutely terrifying degree. At this point the only heroes I would trust to hold their own in a fight would be Yu-Yu, Tohya, Danji, and Raika and even then Raika is already starting to get outmatched. Meanwhile the villains have at least 5 top tier fighters and they’re only getting better.

The season is fairly short as always compared to the good ole days when the seasons were 30+ episodes but they still cover a lot of ground in these 12 episodes. Like I said pretty much every episode has a big duel in it. Additionally each of the characters have their own battle themes here which is nice since it makes the soundtrack a lot more versatile. Plus just about all of the characters have hype rock type themes. Ironically Yu-Yu’s theme is one of the only ones I don’t care for so when he’s dueling it just doesn’t make for a very satisfying climax. Usually your theme plays when you’re about to win after all.

An excellent overall soundtrack is another reason why this season is so good though. Then we have the animation which is quite sharp. I’m not going to say that it is the best in the business or anything like that but it’s very clean, bright, and smooth. You couldn’t ask for much more than that. The battles really pop out at you. Also back to the soundtrack, this one starts to play the ending theme during the last scenes of an episode which is always a great move because it works so well for the cliffhanger. Another great decision there. So now lets talk about the characters.

Yu-Yu has really come a long way over the years. He’s a really confident fighter here who is an undeniable powerhouse. At this point he’s one of the strongest fighters in the verse and while he isn’t unbeatable, I would still choose him to win in a fight against anyone except Tohya. Danji can beat him but Yu-Yu can also win so their battles tend to be more 50/50. Just as important as the power though is the fact that Yu-Yu actually feels like a leader now. He has a Goku moment where he walks in once everyone else has been defeated and you know that things are going to be all right.

His final duel in the season was definitely great and his character got to shine through. I’ll be able to point to him as a great example of a complete character arc. Meanwhile the main heroine Megumi hasn’t had as much to do lately. I think she’s going to need to get a bigger role soon because otherwise Urara has basically replaced her as the main heroine at this point. Megumi can fight well, she just needs more opportunities to get up there.

Tomari actually gets a fairly big duel here. You don’t really expect that things will go great for her but she does tend to step up as one of the senior members of the team when the chips are down so you do have to give her some props there. I don’t find her super impressive power-wise but I like her confidence. She’s a lot more likable than Zakusa who gets his share of big moments but I never end up buying into it. It feels like he always makes the wrong decisions and I would say that this season is no exception. This guy is not leadership material.

It’s sad to say but there isn’t much to talk about for Tohya here. He gets a duel and then basically vanishes for the season. It feels like they are building up for a big revenge match for him but it hasn’t happened yet. It’s a bit odd since he is one of their best bets to take down the villains but as long as it leads up to something soon then it’s fine. He got the biggest duel in both the first and second season so I guess he needed a break this time around.

Danji actually gets to take center stage near the end instead and looks great. I feel like he had lost a lot of hype since the older days where he was the big threat so his fans should be pleased here. As always I do think that he makes a lot of mistakes with his judgment like Zakusa. Danji needs to trust his friends more but he’s finally getting close to that. His intense fighting style with the fire and soccer is always fun to watch. When he brings his A game then he is definitely one of the best fighters.

Masanori is around as always and I will give him credit for being a persistent villain across every season. Seriously this guy never goes down and that is impressive in its own right. That being said, he hasn’t done anything to make himself stand out so by this point he has just become boring. I’m much more interested in every single one of the other villains. For example Jinki is still a compelling main villain. There are times where he seems to be against all of the violence so he is maybe thinking that he is the actual hero in all of this. We’ll have to see, but for the most part he doesn’t need that. In general just being a fun villain is enough here.

Then you have Sophie who is a really powerful villain as well. She went out of her way to humiliate Raika the whole time during their duel. You feel bad for Raika since he tries really hard in this season but just doesn’t look great. His skills have just reached their cap and he needs to either surpass his limits or be satisfied with taking loss after loss. Letting her bark at him without coming up with a counter was certainly a low moment for him. I still like Raika a lot as a more antagonist type character but as a hero it does feel like he immediately got a lot weaker.

Halona hasn’t done a whole lot yet but as the one who trained up Urara we already know that she is powerful. If she had ended up fighting Yu-Yu at the end we could have really seen her skills but that will have to wait for the next season. So far she is a fun villain to have around. Michiru is also a decent villain but since his heart isn’t really in the mission he doesn’t feel as compelling. The guy is basically going through the motions so that he can fight more powerful opponents but that’s about it. He will need a much stronger ambition if he wants to go further.

His abilities are good though and I always like characters who are really invested in the game. It would just be nice if he used those abilities to take the villains on instead of just working for them. He basically admits to Danji that he disagrees with their mission so that makes working for them even worse. Not a good look for him at all. Meanwhile Samuel is a new character here who gets some screen time but ultimately he hasn’t done a ton yet. He is good at pushing the plot along but as a character he’s a bit bland.

Finally there is Urara who in a lot of ways is one of the biggest focuses here. She falls for the lure of power here and then the heroes have to do their best to bring her back to reason. This does make Urara look rather bad for the most part since she was turned so easily. In a way she’s like a mirror looking back into how Yu-Yu used to be. She lacks confidence and so she is very susceptible to what people tell her. Urara doesn’t yet have the confidence to make her own decisions but by the end of the season she should almost be there.

Now what about the Uniformers’ ultimate objective? Well first we do have to admit that their plan has a tangible benefit. They really do make all of their fighters a lot more powerful. I don’t think you can really argue against that. Everyone immediately jumped up by turning the game into a science. The main problem Yu-Yu had with them was how they would force people to duel their way. If they made it purely optional then there wouldn’t really be a problem. Dueling by the book may not be all that fun but winning is a lot of fun so that should help to balance everything out right?

So I don’t think the idea of dueling with a soulless style is in itself a bad thing. Like any other job some may just want the best results. Like in a video game where you play as the broken character instead of your favorite one right? This is no exception and it’s only the pseudo magical element of brainwashing people that was iffy. It would have made for an interesting character arc if Urara decided to still use this style while keeping some of her personal modifications. I don’t think you should completely disregard the things you’ve learned after all. Skills are skills, they can’t be good or bad. It’s just all in how you use them. At the end of the day this show isn’t about the moral debate of how you obtain power but it’s still fun to think about.

Overall, Cardfight is in a really great spot here. This easily could have been used as more of a setup season and instead the show jumped right in for a ton of great action. The pacing here was on point and you can’t go wrong with everything happening here. The duels are insanely entertaining and extremely explosive. I highly recommend this to anyone looking for a fun time. It’s very energetic throughout and the cast has grown to the point where there are a lot of likable players in every subplot. The final fight of an arc can go to any number of different people and so you get to try and guess who that will be. I’m definitely hyped to see how this wraps up in the next season or if this saga will keep going on for a while longer.

Overall 9/10