The Water Dragon’s Bride Review

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It’s time for a supernatural Shojo title. There is a lot of romance and drama of course, you gotta have the full blend of emotions here and the series lasted for 11 volumes which is pretty impressive. It gets to cover a lot and has a pretty unique premise. It’s definitely not something that you see very often. You’d almost expect this to be like a power fantasy by the end but that’s not the exact audience it’s going for so this is a little different.

The story starts with introducing us to a normal girl named Asahi who has a loving family. Everything was going well one day until she got pulled into the well that exists in her backyard. This isekais her to another realm where she is meant to be the Water Dragon’s bride. This god doesn’t really have any emotions and thinks the whole ritual is amusing but he still takes offense when she declines him. So he sends her back into the village but without the use of her voice. She must now find a way to escape this world that exists in the past and get back to modern day civilization. Is that even possible though?

She has one ally in the past at least. A boy named Subaru who likes her right away. Unfortunately they are both just kids right now and so it’s not like they can really defend themselves from the cruel mortals that are all around them. Subaru’s mother is one of the key antagonists who wants to sacrifice Asahi and get her out of here. Asahi is just lucky that the water dragon has no interest in claiming her life. If he did then that would have really been it for her. As the series goes on she gradually gets to teach him about the various emotions so that he becomes more human.

There is a time skip later in the series so Asahi is all grown up and can talk again. This definitely helps because while she was always a solid main character, it’s just hard to do anything while you’re still a kid. Not being able to talk is also rough when the whole village is against her. I thought the series definitely got more interesting from this point on. There are a lot of plot elements I would have liked to have seen more of though. We have several gods outside of the water one like darkness, fire, wood, and a few others. The only other one with a big role aside from water is the darkness one who makes for a good villain. The others are more just along for the ride but having a big gods battle royale would have been a lot of fun. Something where we see them all show up to defend Asahi or something like that.

I would say the character who gets the most development by far is the Water Dragon though. Going from emotionless to super emotional by the end is always a pretty big leap but the series took its time with this so it wasn’t all that rushed. Now was the romance still any good? Ehhhh I always have some issues with the whole immortal romance. I mean they grew up together the whole time ever since she was a small child. Yeah he never grew up so now it works a bit better and with the ending we can say that mayyyybe he’s not immortal? I’m still not feeling the romance either way I gotta admit but at least it’s not a rebound or anything.

The Water Dragon also came through in the clutch when she really needed him on several occasions. Whether it was the humans intentionally burning her or trying to drown her, he was ready. He got quite a few rage modes on her behalf and so the romance was really properly set up the whole time. It’s at least not something that was just thrown in at the last second and that’s pretty normal for a Shojo series. The build up is the important part.

Subaru naturally gets the short end of the stick but you could probably have guessed that based on the title. The series is absolutely merciless to the guy though as he has his big scene where he finally gathers the courage to confess to Asahi so she just immediately runs over to the water dragon to ask him out. That’s gotta be completely demoralizing. What a way to go right? You’re thinking the worst she can say is no, but your courage just being what gives her the courage to ask someone else out is rough.

Subaru also did his best to look out for her all those years too. He was a good friend, ultimately that’s just what he has to settle for though. They were not meant to be anything more than that. Maybe if he had asked sooner or something but he took too long. Asahi also had a lot on her mind throughout the series. She had to contend with the fact that gods exist in the world and that she may never actually get to get home. As the series continues she has to go up against the god of darkness as well. So there’s not a whole lot of down time for her in the series to really be thinking about the romance.

Asahi is a well balanced main character though. She is ready to fight when needed and gathers her courage when talking to big figures like the emperor. She doesn’t shirk any of her duties or responsibilities at all. She also had to make a tough decision later on about which world to stay in. Naturally being with her family is super important and all but at this point she’s lived longer in the other world so saying goodbye to those connections would be rough as well. It’s definitely a tough call. I’d generally choose the world with powers but in this case it’s not like the powers are hers directly so that does make things a little more difficult.

We get to briefly see the parents and they really didn’t take the vanishing very well. How could they right? One second they’re spending time with their daughter and the next she is gone. That’s the kind of thing that creates a permanent mental scar. You just don’t really come back from that and it created some mild resentment for her younger brother who never even got to meet Asahi. Always seeing your parents sad about the whole thing takes a big toll and of course when he sees Asahi is tempted to leave again, that just makes it all the more upsetting. It’s like she’s taking the whole thing for granted. So the brother wasn’t very nice but I did feel bad for him because of all this.

Back in the village, Tsukihiko is one of the first big characters to show up. He’s one of the only people to treat Asahi well from the start and is a consistent ally. His role gets smaller and smaller as the series goes on but he definitely had his moments. I liked him well enough and his drastic plan to fake Asahi’s death was pretty good. It might have even worked if not for Asahi. Kagahiko is a big bandit who shows up for a while but I was not a fan of him. He was trying too hard the whole time and feels real petty.

Yeah he ends up having his reasons and all but none of it really excuses attacking the main village and going after Asahi several times. She could have really done without all of that aggravation. There’s not much to him aside from being a bandit either. I never really sympathized with the guy or anything and wouldn’t have minded if the water dragon just blew him up. We’ve also got the Emperor and I wasn’t a big fan of that kid.

For one thing, he is an actual kid so it’s not like he is very good at running the show just yet. Asahi basically has to take on a mother type role for a while there and really explain why his plans wouldn’t work. He even suggests she become his bride for a while there which of course was out of the question. Even to the end he is getting kidnapped and everything so yeah I don’t think he ever really went up for me. He was more on the annoying side.

Matori is the hardened sword master who shows up later. He has some serious skills for sure but can be rather laid back. He’s a nice enough character. I feel like he came in last enough where you almost could have cut him out entirely though. The series would not have been all that different if he was gone after all. At least that’s the way I see it. It helps that Subaru’s sword skills rarely became a factor in the series. Often times the villains can only be stopped by the water dragon. Perhaps if Subaru got to be the final opponent for Kurose at the end that would have helped justify this.

Kurose is a good villain and definitely someone who felt like a threat. I was glad to have him here to shake things up a bit. Yeah he’s not the smartest guy and certainly gets manipulated quite a bit but I can respect the drive. At his core he wanted to save his friend and that’s admirable enough. He just went about it all the wrong way. Kurose had a really rough backstory so you can see how this really corrupted him from the start. He was only just starting to get rehabilitated when the whole thing happened and he had to turn to the dark side. At least he’s doing better than in the real world where he was really getting beat up and was basically murdered. It was quick but I really did appreciate seeing his back story here. It’s rare that we get to see the villains get Isekai’d after all.

The artwork for the series is pretty good. It can definitely be very expressive at times. The water can be a little chaotic at times though. It may be semi intentional but I also think it can just be really difficult to show a lot of water on screen without it getting at least a little messy. It’s a tough balance that you have to try and keep up throughout. Still, it was always readable so I definitely don’t have any big issues here. The writing was solid and the dark god was a formidable foe and that’s what counts.

I dare say the series was almost going for a bit of an anti human message there for a little while. There are just so many corrupt humans who were trying to destroy Asahi right from the start without hearing her out. The fact that she is just a child makes that even worse. I guess we can assume that the people will be more reasonable as time goes on but I still wouldn’t trust any of them to be honest. With the ending it doesn’t really matter by that point though. It’s a fairly upbeat ending although one character had to do a ton of waiting. I know he had a lot of time but that would probably still have been a really tough wait.

For me the series biggest strength and what I would praise it for is that it’s always interesting. I may not always love the setting but they did a good job of showing us just what a difficult situation Asahi was in. Particularly when she could not talk as she had to try and be expressive to get her point across. Since she was a child, that took extra determination. She was also in the middle of enemy lines the whole time even if the village wasn’t meant to be super evil. So you really get to see her journey through the years and the series did a good job with that.

Overall, The Water Dragon’s Bride is a good title. It doesn’t keep up with some of the other Shojo titles I’ve read to be sure but I didn’t really have any big issues with it either. It uses the Isekai genre to tell a reasonable romance plot and we get some action along the way. I’ll never turn down a good action scene and this could have made for a fun little anime. I think it would have been even better if it was set in the modern day but of course you would have to do some true re writes to actually get that to work. If you like romance then you should definitely check this one out. The characters are solid and there is a lot going on here. The author really managed to squeeze in a kid section, time skip, Asahi going back home, and a full backstory for the villain. The 11 volumes length was used pretty well.

Overall 6/10

The In Laws Review

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It’s time for a film about just how crazy a wedding can get. You don’t really know what the other family is going to be like after all and you just have to fear for the worse. This film’s pretty good, I do think it drags on just a bit as it goes on with Shelly taking way too long to get with the program but it still does have a good amount of gags and I like the general premise. Ultimately it’s enough for me to give this one a thumbs up.

The movie starts off with Shelly getting ready to finally meet the father of his daughter’s fiancé. This guy has been particularly elusive for quite a while now to the point where the wedding is going to be in just a few days. Shelly isn’t worried until his dentist patient confirms that this is a really big deal. If the father is no good then the son might be a mess as well. Sure enough, Vince is a mess who seems to be a chronic liar and now Shelly wants the marriage to be called off. Unfortunately he is quickly pulled into a giant CIA conspiracy and now he is wanted for stealing millions of dollars. Can Shelly escape this plight and protect his daughter’s future or is this an elaborate way to get him out of the picture?

Again this is a comedy so you shouldn’t take the plot too seriously. All the CIA stuff is handled overly dramatic of course and the film doesn’t mind going completely bonkers with everyone being extremely expressive. Shelly is the biggest example of that as most of his dialogue is yelling and panicking. The guy does not know how to be subtle at all so even in a crowded cafe he’ll be yelling about CIA secrets. The guy was definitely not built for this kind of mission and Vince probably should have left him out of it. I get the feeling he would have had an easier time grabbing the briefcase and ducking off on his own. That’s how much Shelly tends to hold him back.

I can definitely understand why Shelly thought the whole marriage was probably a bad idea after meeting this guy. He doesn’t exactly overwhelm you with confidence after all. I may not care for Shelly much as a character as the “normal” guy panicking about the weird one the whole time usually gets old fast, but he still had some valid points here. Ultimately he just should have stayed focused on his business and none of this would have happened to him. Of course it wouldn’t be much of a film in that case. Shelly’s best moment was definitely when Vince accused him of not being able to understand what was happening and Shelly made a speech about how he shouldn’t underestimate the average guy down the block. That was a pretty good defense.

Vince has been around the block many times and has his moments where he seems to be good at being an agent but then on the other hand he has tons of moments where you feel like he has just gotten really lucky the whole time. Vince doesn’t really panic but at the same time he’s almost constantly on the run. Yes he’s a great shot but that doesn’t help when he’s heavily outnumbered. Even to the very end of the film he only survives on absolute luck which is definitely not the best look for the guy.

The banter with Shelly and Vince can be fun. I actually even prefer that to the fight scenes themselves since those of course aren’t always being taken super seriously anyway. At least for the arguments you see where both of the characters are coming from. A title like this needs a lot of banter in order to succeed after all and I would say it works out pretty well. I also liked the CIA correspondent who shows up twice to talk about how crazy Vince is.

This works as a solid mystery because Vince has been so unbalanced throughout the film that you can’t entirely rule out the possibility that he has been leading Shelly on the whole time. Perhaps he really was kicked out of the CIA and has gone rogue to steal millions of dollars. For all Shelly knows, he is really getting himself into trouble now. Of course he ultimately isn’t able to get out once he’s so deep in anyway so it’s all a moot point. Now he just has to try and stay alive which isn’t easy as a normal citizen with no combat oriented background.

What I would do to keep the momentum up in the second half would be to probably remove the entire climax of the main characters getting captured and the near shootout. Instead switch that to Shelly finally taking the reigns. Have him take the money over to the dentist’s office and make a play like he’s going rogue. You could have Vince finally be lost as to what’s going on and then it turns out this was just a way to smoke the villains out from hiding. This way you give Shelly some kind of a big win outside of really just being along for the ride and helping out in small ways. I think that would give him more agency and could have made the ending a bit more fun. I definitely don’t buy the two of them being friends by the end the way this film ended. There were just too many instances where Shelly really could have died and Vince isn’t exactly apologetic so there isn’t much reason for them to get along. If anything, keeping it a bit antagonistic would have opened the door for some sequels with the characters pretending to be nice while the kids were there before going back to their normal selves.

Overall, The In Laws is a fun enough film. I do think they could have had a little more fun with the concept though. Instead of this all being one mission, a montage early on of Vince giving crazier and crazier reasons for why he has to cancel on appointments would have worked really well. Then you set up the main story. I also think you could probably rope the kids in a bit too by having them start to fight about some of this stuff. Even though their upcoming wedding is the main plot point, they don’t actually get to appear much at all. Their screen time is surprisingly small. Either way, this film is a good one to check out if you want some light hearted fun. It should keep your attention well enough the whole time and at the end of the day that’s the important thing.

Overall 7/10

Cover Up Review

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It’s time for a film about an insurance guy and that’s pretty fun because it’s super rare to see one in the spotlight. Yeah that made for a good story. This guy always knows when something isn’t right and makes a move on that. The sheriff dares him to try that in a small town but what he doesn’t realize is that our hero grew up in a small town so he’s really ready for anything.

The movie starts off with the suicide of a guy named Phillips. Sam has to go to the town for a routine check to confirm that the guy is dead and all. It’s supposed to be a very routine thing but when he gets to town the sheriff isn’t particularly helpful. There is no morgue report, the gun has vanished, there are no bullets, and they don’t want to even let Sam see the body. Is Phillips even dead? Sam’s going to have to go into this mystery even if it means going up against the entire town. Does he really have what it takes?

Well, the good news is that Sam’s a tough character who isn’t going to back down just because of a little intimidation here. He gets into it with Sheriff Larry on several occasions and just keeps on coming back for more. Larry is really determined to keep Sam on a short leash but this main character is not so easily deterred. No, he’s just getting started. The more Sam looks into this though, the more the suspects begin to rise. Everyone in town despised Phillips, he was unanimously agreed to be an awful person and they all agree that the town would be better off without him.

Frank is the fierce suspect here because he was going out with Phillip’s niece and the guy didn’t really seem to like the idea. Then you have Stu who just so happens to own the same kind of gun that was used to potentially destroy Phillips, once Sam managed to get Larry to show him the bullets. Stu’s daughter Anita is distraught about this and so she quickly begins to try and hide evidence from Sam as well. Then there’s the doctor but as Sam gets close there, the doctor quickly has a heart attack and dies. Most inconvenient, that’s for sure.

The weak point of the film is definitely the romance though. During this case Sam falls for Anita and in the background of a possible murder conspiracy this just doesn’t feel like the right time. Additionally, it’s hard to see how it could possibly end well once she starts hiding the facts and working against Sam. She basically says if Sam continues to do his job then they will be enemies and she really gets to work on burning the bridge during Christmas. Things work out for her so then she’s happy again but it’s just way too late by then. The fact that she was blaming Sam for just doing his job was rough.

Especially since Sam could have easily never found out the truth. He was giving his best effort which is his job, why should he be given such a hard time abut that? It just made no real sense and even less sense that they would get back together after that. Sam is definitely the most likable character here. I really appreciated that he never gave up. It’s really not easy when everyone is rooting for you to fail after all. Sam stuck to it and the company knows they have an asset in him. He may not have finished the job in the end once he learns the context but he made sure that he would know the truth before he left.

Larry makes for a solid main antagonist here but the guy can definitely be rather annoying. If he had played ball at all a bit sooner then everything would be easier for Sam. Of course, that wasn’t in Larry’s interests which is why he was getting in Sam’s way every step of the process. The banter between the characters is pretty great I have to say. Larry even goes as far as to talk slow and bring up dead topics like his cigars over and over to just be purposefully obtuse. The biggest issue is that Larry’s actually really smart so he is pretty good at dodging the questions over and over just to make things tough on Sam.

It all goes back to vigilante justice here. When you’ve got someone terrorizing a town but no legal means with which to stop him, then naturally the people are going to get more and more desperate and something is going to eventually happen. That’s just a foregone conclusion no matter how much the characters may not like it. Technically I don’t even think all of the characters knew what happened here. Some of the most influential ones did of course but even for a small town I don’t think the word totally spread to the rest of the populace.

The film also takes place around Christmas time which is pretty fun. You get to see the characters all hanging out and getting ready for happy days only to have this big controversy show up. One of the best characters was the maid/housekeeper who really liked showing off how much knowledge she had. She didn’t care what was going on, she would blurt out answers when she felt like it. It made one of her scenes in particular work really well to show that she still had one concern above even that. She was willing to put herself in jeopardy to help someone as well. Pretty much everyone in the town was super loyal and as Sam said before, they all tend to be pretty good people.

Overall, Cover Up is a pretty good film. It definitely had my attention the whole time. You’re really not sure what happened along with Sam and the film gives you just enough twists and turns where you even have to acknowledge that perhaps it really was a suicide. You just don’t really know for sure until the end and there are a good amount of suspects. Each alibi tends to be rather weak so you have to go with your gut at that point. I think the one character everyone would assume it was not would be the sheriff since that would just be way too obvious. The super obvious answer is rarely the right one after all.

Overall 7/10

Air (2023)

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This write up is of the TV-14 edited version. All thoughts below should be addressed as a write up of the uncut version would be more negative

It’s time for a film about how Nike would go on to recruit Michael Jordan. It’s a pretty fun event to go and make a movie about. Give me one of these over one of those events we’ve all seen a million times. There’s a lot of story to tell here after all and it’s handled very well. If you’re not familiar with the events surrounding this moment then this will be a good way to find out about them. In a way, that’s another advantage of making a movie out of lesser known events since the whole thing will feel a lot fresher and be a new experience for most of the viewers.

The film starts off with Sonny being put on the hot seat again for not delivering on results. The guy’s job is to expand Nike’s basketball program and there have not been any real improvements in a very long time. The program has really stagnated though and there don’t seem to be many promising leads. That’s when Sonny decides to go big. He wants to recruit Michael Jordan even though it means they will have to use the entire budget on him. No other players can be added on or anything like that. The line will run through him. Can Sonny convince his bosses of this and more importantly, can he convince Jordan?

It’s pretty interesting to see Nike as the big underdogs at the time of the film at least in the Basketball world since they were always the big shots when I was growing up. Adidas and the other company were looking tough here. My only slight complaint is I would have liked them to have looked a little more intimidating though. Yeah it’s from Nike’s perspective so of course they end up getting rolled when they actually showed up but it should have been a bit more even. I think you could have done this by briefly showing a montage of them stepping in and defeating Nike on several players before Michael Jordan stepped into the picture. That would have been an excellent way to establish them as a true threat the whole way. The competition is part of the fun after all.

It’s why my favorite character was Falk the agent. This guy was on point with looking after his client’s interests and making sure that Sonny couldn’t just do whatever he wanted. Ultimately Falk wants his money so he’s not going to get in the way if it’s a good offer/deal. He gives the film a lot of good banter with Sonny the whole time and is definitely a real highlight. The guy also doesn’t give in to a quick emotional speech the way that the other characters do. It’s just not how he rolls.

Then you have Sonny who is a solid main character the whole time. He’s certainly determined and never gives up. Things look rather bleak for him on several occasions but he always finds a way to push back and so that’s definitely good. I liked the CEO quite a bit. He may not take as many risks as he used to, but when the chips were down he ultimately went back into competitor mode and backed Sonny up. You definitely want a boss like that who is always ready to match the energy.

Meanwhile Michael Jordan himself is hidden for basically the whole film. It was an interesting decision, I guess this way it keeps the focus on Nike or perhaps they couldn’t find anyone they really liked to portray him. Regardless, it meant that his parents got to really have the focus this time around. In particular his mother handled a lot of the negotiations and did a really good job in making sure that he got a good deal. Getting the royalties from the sales was definitely a massive move because that’s how you get the real money in the end. Always make sure that you get that part of the deal if you find yourself on a show like Shark Tank in the future.

The actual shoe also looked really good. I’m curious how the fine situation played out over time and if the rules were changed or eventually Nike was forced to bring the shoe back into regulation. It’s hard to imagine that the NBA would just let this slide. Fines or not, you’d expect them to reign this in after a while.

Air has the right balance of suspense and fun the whole time. I would call it a pretty upbeat movie the whole time and all of the characters were fun enough. The guy who was in charge of making the shoes could be a little annoying at times but that seemed to be intentional. The rest of the characters had a lot of fun conversations and debates in the meantime. For a film like this you need good writing and the title delivered. The pacing is good and so I had no serious issues. It’s the kind of film you could easily watch at any time without any issues and get absorbed into the story. This is definitely the kind of way I would want to see other stories adapted as well, it feels like the right formula.

Overall, Air is a pretty good film. I’d say it feels like they did a good job adapting all of the events and really keeping you engaged. I would have liked to see a little more of the competitors but I suppose they probably didn’t want to go too much into that or it could have quickly transitioned into more of a fictional setting which would hurt the biographical part here. You’ve got to have a lot of restraint. Whether you like Basketball or not, I would say the film is definitely very accessible and enjoyable.

Black Sunday Review

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Black Sunday is basically a vampire film even if it is technically about witches. Yes, there is a bit of a nuance here of course but lets just say that this will not end up being a big winner or anything like that. Sometimes these old school horror titles can pull off the upset victory but this was not going to follow suit as it falls into pretty much every horror pitfall imaginable.

The film starts off with a witch about to be executed. The humans want to really make it hurt this time so they’ve made a mask that will basically keep on stabbing her until she’s dead. So with the last of her energy she sends out a curse to them. We jump forward 200 years from that point where Andrej and Choma are heading off to a scientists convention when they run into some carriage issues and have to stop at a local haunted mansion. A lady named Katia lives there and this works just fine for Andrej who immediately begins to like her. What he doesn’t realize is that she is the ancestor of the witch Asa and he is about to have the most dangerous days of his life. Can he survive this?

I have to give the villain props for making a lot of moves as soon as she is revived. She quickly mind controls one of the scientists with vampire witch mind control, bumps off one of the characters, and brings in another ally from the grave. She was really set to dominate but ultimately just takes too long which gives Andrej time to figure out what’s going on here. She really needs to bump off just a few more people. She also came rather close at the end but relies on trickery instead of actually finishing off the job. She should have stabbed the main guy from behind or something.

I guess physically she isn’t super strong or anything like that but I would still expect her to at least be able to do this much in a fight. So she gets some points here but part of her success really comes from the heroes just making mistake after mistake as opposed to her being a stable genius or anything like that.

Andrej is an okay main character I guess. He probably falls in love a bit too easily and is slow on the uptake. I’m never too harsh on these guys for not believing in the supernatural right away but Choma was being suspicious from early on and Andrej should have caught that a bit more. At least he managed to catch the trick at the end and didn’t fall for Asa’s charms. Honestly that’s probably more than I could say for a bunch of other main characters.

Just about the opposite is true on all accounts for Choma. He does fall for Asa’s tricks and shows no real willpower of his own. The guy jeopardizes everyone and it all stems from the fact that he was not built for this. Javutich works as a decent sub villain. He actually does have full on super strength so it’s only thanks to some plot armor that the heroes were able to stop him. There are a lot of ways he should have been able to end the film early for Asa.

As for Katia, she’s not a bad heroine but it can be a bit annoying how she panics at everything. She could have alerted the heroes that something was going on a lot earlier but faints and generally doesn’t handle things very well. If she had kept her guard up more then this could have all been different. The cast is fairly small at least so you get to really focus on each of them. By now you’re probably wondering why it’s so weak though right? Surely this is about the same as every other C horror title.

In a lot of ways that’s true but the whole witch/vampire stuff is always going to hurt. I can’t take the visual hypnosis all that seriously where the guy just can’t help but make a move on her. That’s always going to be an extremely hard sell for me. Then the film also makes another big critical error in having some animal violence. As soon as there were some guard dogs in the estate you knew that things would not be going too well which is definitely a shame. The effects they use to show all of the stab marks on Asa are also quite eerie. In general it’s not like the film is super violent or anything like that but it’s not afraid to have some of that disturbing imagery running around.

The writing isn’t bad. All of the characters are able to have full conversations and talk like professionals. I can always appreciate that at least. In this case it’s not enough to get the film up to the next level or anything though. Writing can only get you so far when the rest of the film is not up to to task after all. I’d also say there isn’t really a whole lot to the film. There aren’t a bunch of jump scares and in general it’s not all that frightening. We have the creepy elements and some disturbing moments but that’s really it. The film tends to have a fairly casual tone otherwise.

Overall, Black Sunday is not really a film that I’d recommend. I’ve certainly seen worse films of course but this one is really not doing anything new or different. It’s not going to make sure that you remember it or anything like that. Having a witch as the villain could have actually been real interesting but the film doesn’t do anything with it. She’s not casting a bunch of spells or anything like that. All of the deaths tend to be blood related or just being overpowered which doesn’t take advantage of being a witch. So it felt like this was all one massive missed opportunity. The way the film plays out, you’d think that the writer really wanted to make a vampire film but wasn’t allowed to or something like that. The ending is almost comical with how fast it moves and the villagers showing up the way they did. Technically it’s dark for one character at least but it was all just so sudden.

Overall 3/10

Willow Review

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What if I told you that there was a film out there that was trying to be the next Lord of the Rings? And what if I told you that the film…succeeded? That was definitely the biggest fear imaginable and unfortunately this one pulled off what I didn’t think was possible. This film is 2 hours of nothing as the film desperately tries to bore you out of your mind. The romance, the adventure, the characters, it brought tears to me eyes. It was just so….bad! You’ll be guaranteed to fall asleep while watching this movie and it’s like you just warped ahead 2 hours in time. It’s absolutely crazy.

So the film starts off with one of those opening messages about how there is a prophecy that has scared the ruling class and so all of the babies have to be inspected to make sure they don’t have a special mark. Naturally the villains fumble the bag here so the baby is taken away and found by a group of Dwarves. Most of them are too scared to really do anything and would be quick to abandon her. Even Willow himself is skeptical but he is convinced by his wife to help out. The mage of the land even assigns Willow on a special mission to go and help her out but he has to bring along the classroom bully who would love to get out of there at his first chance. Can they really keep the baby alive?

The film was already at a disadvantage with the whole fantasy setting if we’re being honest here. I already don’t like this kind of old school setting and this is as old as it gets. We’re talking lots of trees and forests and everyone is super poor with no civilization in sight. The magic we’re shown here tends to be rather ordinary stuff and nothing too fancy.

There is nothing fantastic or really interesting about the world. It’s the kind of world that may have a ton of supernatural elements so you never mistake it for the real world and yet it doesn’t do anything exciting with it. For every decent monster design like a two headed worm/dinosaur type thing, you have a bunch of mini humans and talking animals. This is not a film where you will be remembering much and even the strongest beasts tend to go down against normal arrows. When you’re losing to arrows…that is a terrible look. I can’t mince words here, that is a horrible look. You can’t afford to lose to that.

Willow isn’t really much of a great character. For starters he’s not very brave and his magic is no good. Yes, character arcs and such but he needed a stronger beginning for that. The baby is naturally around a whole lot but she’s a baby so it’s not like she can really do anything you know. Then we have the swordsman Madmartigan, who has a cool name but that’s about the only good thing about the guy. He’s absolutely ready to hightail it and run for a while there before eventually coming to the light. He’s the character who is meant to give us the snappy dialogue and bring the comedy up a notch but he doesn’t really have anyone to banter with so that doesn’t work out very well at all.

You definitely see how the film was trying to capitalize on the Hobbit by having the main characters all be like that but it’s just being a copycat without adding anything to the idea. Also, it’s copying a character that I never even liked which doesn’t help matters there. Okay, there still has to be some redeeming quality to the film right? Soundtrack’s out since that was fairly dull but I can at least give a slight thumbs up to the special effects. I liked the skull mask for one of the villains and the two headed monster didn’t look bad. All in all, the effects did their job so I can’t really find any faults with them there.

You’ve got some romance here but even aside from the love potion beginning, it’s just not very strong. Now we do have an extensive climax where the crew are fighting for at least 30 minutes or so. It’s actually a considerable length all the way and we get a lot of action so that’s good…right? I mean it beats the rest of the film but it’s been a while since I’ve seen such a boring action scene either. It goes back to the fantasy element here as even the sword fighting feels very old school. I think it’s because they’re trying to film this like a real sword fight so it comes across like two guys dueling at a tournament. It doesn’t feel very powerful or fast on either end.

That’s a problem and of course the second is that we still don’t really care about any of the characters by this point. Why should we right? They haven’t done anything to show us that we should care about them and that’s a big issue. The villains are also fairly generic as well which is one angle where the film could have tried to take things to the next level but ultimately fell short.

So there really isn’t much to say about the film. The characters aren’t funny and the plot isn’t engaging. You’ll have to really focus to try and stay awake during this title and the long length won’t help matters there. I need a name for this sub genre of fantasy that is going for hyper realism even while having supernatural elements. Because I do like a good fantasy but it has to be bright and vibrant. I want everything to be really smooth, shiny, and just feel like an awesome otherworld. If it’s beat up or too realistic then it just doesn’t have the same impact to it and ultimately ends up falling short.

Overall, Willow is definitely not the film that will change the fantasy genre as we know it. I still think the craziest part of the film is how we have a long action scene for the climax and yet it never manages to be particularly exciting. It’s a lot like Lord of the Rings in that sense so the parallels continue. Ultimately your best bet is to stay far away from this film. It’s one of those fantasy titles that just brings the worst parts of the genre and doesn’t really tackle its strengths. Better luck next time I suppose. I have to assume that the sequel TV show will be at least a little better…I would hope at least.

Overall 2/10

The Enforcer Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for Harry to return to fight off some more crime. Unfortunately for him, the guy doesn’t have much backup this time. The film shows even more just how inept everyone tends to be without him and corruption is through the roof. I think the movie goes a little too far with this at times here but I dare say it has a slight touch of comedy at times which helps to push things through. If it was fully serious it might almost get a bit depressing.

The film starts off with some guys getting murdered as a terrorist group continues to gain ground for some kind of nefarious purpose. Meanwhile Harry pulls off another stunning victory over the forces of evil but there was a whole lot of collateral damage and he’s demoted. He now has to work with a lady named Kate thanks to a new initiative where they are trying to get more girls on the force. Harry is against this, not because Kate is a girl but because things should be done in a meritocracy. Promoting her just for this reason strikes him as a little silly although the silliness is just beginning. Can Kate prove that she has what it takes?

I think the rough part here is of course we know part of the message is that Kate is ready for action and can back him up but she looks really bad at first. She is clearly not prepared for any of this and nearly gets blown away during a missile practice exercise. It doesn’t exactly inspire confidence when you are counting on this person to watch your back in a life or death situation right? It takes a very long time for Kate to really be combat ready and by then we’re approaching the end of the film so you know what’s about to happen. For what it’s worth, I do think she’s a likable character. Her heart’s in the right place but she was in over her head.

Harry is a fun lead as always. Super gruff and to the point. He can be rather rude for sure but at least you always know he is speaking his mind and not sugar coating things. He’s still just as good a fighter as he ever was and age has not gotten the best of him. The guy puts up with a whole lot but ultimately keeps on going to help people. So I admire the drive and there is really nothing to dislike about the guy. He always puts his best foot forward and is an inspiration to everyone around him.

Now the police captain looks real bad here. For starters, he really wants good press and to look good for the mayor. So he’s running around spoiling Harry’s plans and generally not caring about anything. Arresting Harry’s informant was absolutely terrible. The guy was only looking out for the short term benefits there. It’s clear that he wasn’t actually thinking of the public good. Then by the end he’s absolutely given up as expected and doesn’t even realize that the fight was already over. This is the kind of person that Harry has to work with on a daily basis.

The worst part? Harry is outranked by this guy so there is only so much you can do. It has to be absolutely disheartening to be the best man on the force but to not be ranked high enough to actually make a difference in these things. It’s the ultimate frustration. Then you mayor as well who falls into all of the same traps. He wants votes and he wants results but the guy can’t wait long enough to get them the right way. He’s the kind of guy who would jump into a trap just to spite Harry and to show that he can make his own decisions. He’s not the smartest guy at all.

The villains are okay but not super memorable. They have their own motives and all but at the end of the day they basically are terrorists. Their message gets lost early on when they’re murdering everyone. It always takes a rather huge kind of message to counter murders like that. You need to have an extremely powerful message for me to even begin to think of supporting you by this point. These guys don’t though so they lose the credibility rather quickly.

Like I mentioned earlier, one of the film’s strengths is that it does throw in some good humor from time to time though. Harry’s dry wit really works well in different scenes and then you also have a lot of crazy stuff going on like one of the terrorists being in a nun outfit and the pastor generally being super unhelpful. You can’t really stay neutral or talk about nonviolence when you have terrorists inside the building with you. People are unhelpful to a comedic extreme, corrupt to an extreme, and everything is just big and crazy. Even the way Harry handles the opening case is rather funny with how nonchalant he is about it.

The humor never goes too far or wrecks the tone of the film though. It is absolutely a lighter tone than the last film but it’s handled smoothly and isn’t forceful. It just works here and not every film has to have some kind of super deep message after all. This film is also a lot shorter than the last one so in a way this may have been a decision to just make this more of a basic action film. You can never really go wrong with that as long as the writing is good and I thought it was rather solid. The ending may not be quite as solid as the last one since it’s way more of a hollow victory but it’s still good enough. Harry shows off his attitude to the end and we get one last gag of sorts.

Overall, The Enforcer is a good film. I don’t think it quite has the depth of the last one but it’s still a good adventure. In a way it continues to show just how corrupt things are to the point where Harry has to rely on other criminals to get the info he needs on the main villains. He can’t rely on the cops or their information networks which is really rough when you think about it. With the mayor pushing all of his social justice policies in, Harry can see how it might get even worse in the future. He may complain, but ultimately he keeps on getting the job done though and that’s what is important. I would recommend checking this film out, you’ll have a good time.

Overall 6/10

Magnum Force Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as the review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for Harry to return and start putting some justice back in the streets. Magnum Force tackles the topic of vigilante justice which is pretty fun because usually you only see that in a superhero story. Sure, non superhero movies sometimes have this as well for the main character but it’s a little rarer to have the complete hero having to take on a vigilante. Especially when the hero is someone who is willing to skirt the rules quite a bit like Dirty Harry.

The movie starts with a crook managing to get away on a technicality and preparing to enjoy his new freedom. Unfortunately for him, he bumps into a cop who is just not having this and gets brutally murdered. Harry decides to look into this although he is warned not to look too closely. A man like Harry is going to try for answers and those answers may not be to the department’s best interests. It’s a touchy subject after all and so naturally Harry doesn’t listen to them at all. He’s going to do whatever he wants and that’s really the final answer. He does have a partner, but there’s not much point talking about him because you know how that tends to go.

In a way this movie plays out like a part mystery. Who is this rogue cop? There are several suspects because in the movie we meet a new rookie unit that is formed of several prodigies. These guys are all experts with a gun and are definitely not afraid to use it. So which one of them has gone off the deep end and started executing criminals? Sure, it might sound like a good idea at first and that’s why it is always such a tempting proposition but it becomes a super slippery slope. In fact we can go over that a bit in this review because the movie also goes over this in detail.

Basically as Harry points out, the rogue cop is playing judge, jury, and executioner. Yes, Harry has had to wrestle with these themes even in the first film. Sometimes you do have to pull the trigger but there’s a big difference between doing that either in duress, a split second situation, a one time event, and casually going around bumping off all criminals. You have to be absolutely sure that the person doing the crime is actually guilty and figuring out a lot of similar things as well. After all, if you got this wrong, then you are murdering an innocent person.

In a perfect world, if it were possible to perfectly know if someone was guilty of particularly heinous crimes then I doubt that anyone would have a problem deleting them. If you could press a button and it only deleted people that you knew committed the crime like cold blooded murder in a non acceptable circumstance, then that’d be great. Of course, that is not something that can ever happen. The thing with vigilantism is that you can’t promote it because then it’ll spread and inevitably be used by someone who doesn’t subscribe to the same values. It puts the whole topic in a very dicey spot. You can only really internally root for it and not externally.

Take the opening scene, everyone knows that this guy murdered a bunch of people. He got off on a legal loophole, but that’s all it was…a loophole. When you have actual footage of someone doing something criminal, it can be extremely frustrating to see them out and about again with no problem. The law will never be perfect of course as you can’t stitch every loophole but that’s when vigilantes don’t seem to bad. So in the world of Dirty Harry, you can easily imagine how vigilantes would appear. There is just so much crime and corruption everywhere. The cops seem rather dirty at times so the only way to put a criminal off the streets is to do it yourself.

Of course, using a cop to do this means the whole agency could be compromised. So it makes for a pretty good battle of ideals throughout the movie. Then you also have the battle of generations. Harry is an older guy who has been around the block many times before. He knows how to fight and make command decisions but can he handle any of these younger cops? We see that they are near perfect on the gun range and hold their own in a shooting exhibition. Of course, Harry threw the latter so we can assume he would have won or at least tied there but it doesn’t change the fact that these guys are really evenly matched.

Harry is always a likable character and he does tend to carry the film at a lot of points. He’s certainly not flawless. The guy makes mistakes like anybody else but he’s always at least fighting for something. He still believes that the badge means something after all and this kind of main character is always fun. I also like the main villain. I won’t say who it is but the film definitely takes a twist out of a mystery film with how it’s handled. It makes for a really solid climax all the way around.

The film does show off what a lawless city it takes place in so there is definitely some grit here though. The murders can be a little bloody at times of course. There is some fanservice running around and most of the characters are meant to be rather unlikable. I like the young cops and Harry but pretty much everyone else here tends to be annoying. I actually thought Harry’s partner wasn’t bad but you just feel like he’s absolutely doomed the whole time. Nobody can hang with Harry for long. That’s just how it always is. He’s built different for this kind of thing.

Overall, Magnum Force is a pretty solid film. It’s definitely a long one so there is a whole lot of time for investigation here and debates on what is going on. The movie avoids being too black and white on the issue which I appreciated as it is a bit of a nuanced topic. It may be an uncomfortable one for most but there is a reason why vigilante justice is so popular after all. The film absolutely lands the ending as well so it makes for a satisfying watch. It’s probably a film that would be a little too intense for younger watchers but I wouldn’t say it is completely off its rocker either. I do think the film showed some restraint overall since it could easily mess with the audience’s emotions to make the vigilantism even more accepted based on how awful the criminals are. You are more left to assume based on context and such rather than shown the various crimes for the most part which is always the best way to go. So yeah this is definitely the film to watch if you want a compelling action title.

Overall 6/10

Scrooge Review

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It’s time for one of the original Christmas Carol adaptions. This was definitely a classic and while you can feel its age, it’s always impressive to still see it handle all of the story elements from the newer versions. Sure, it may have to go through some of them rather quickly but you definitely get the point of it. I would probably not put it ahead of any of the other versions that I’ve seen but any fan of the story should definitely get a kick out of this one.

The story starts with Scrooge being rather stingy as always and not even letting his partner Bob put some wood into the fire in peace. Scrooge wants to save every penny and that is how he has built his wealth over the years. A penny saved is a penny earned and all of that. Sure enough, it is a motto that works but he takes it to the extreme. He even declines to go to his nephew’s Christmas dinner and instead heads home. That proves to be a mistake as a ghost shows up and explains that Scrooge is about to be haunted and guilt tripped by 3 ghosts. Scrooge will either be convinced to walk a lighter path by the end of this, or his future will be looking bleak.

Scrooge honestly doesn’t put up a ton of resistance in this one I’d say. I think it’s the way the movie is approaching this where Scrooge is more of a harmless cynic as opposed to being a downright antagonist. Once the ghosts show him the error of his ways and rub his nose in it, Scrooge very quickly sees the light and works on being a better person. It’s a very quick turnaround time but it makes sense when you consider that he isn’t actively resisting the ghosts as much. It’s not like Scrooged where he is as corrupt as possible after all.

Scrooge definitely lost a whole lot over the years in trying to build his riches. It’s not something that comes without a price after all. In the end he blames himself the hardest for Tiny Tim and that’s definitely valid. When you’re rich, it’s not like you suddenly have a huge obligation to take care of everyone in your family. It’s not like I fault him for their being poor completely but at the same time he could have helped out in little ways over the years. Perhaps in running his business a little more fairly. At least the guy had a consistent approach to everyone and wasn’t just picking on a few people.

Keeping all the money was just what he did. The ghosts aren’t as fantastical as they would start to be in later films. They all have a little charisma but the personalities weren’t yet set in stone. In later adaptions the ghost of the future is always absolute horror fodder as he shows up in a crazy cloak and looks more and more demonic as the years go by. In this case he is marginally scarier than the others but it’s not by a great deal or anything like that. Scrooge is probably more scared of all the random people looting his house after death. No respect for the recently departed around here!

The writing is solid as always. Scrooge may not be a nice guy but he’s a well written character as are the others. The heroes try to keep a cheerful face on even when things are hard and so the whole thing comes together well. At its core the Christmas Carol is always a story of optimism and how anybody can be changed. It’s a fun story to watch around Christmas time in all of its different adaptions.

The film is fairly short and direct so there really isn’t a whole lot more to say about the film though. I thought Bob was a solid character who may be a little timid, but he puts up with everything that he can in order to provide for his family. It takes a lot sometimes to not fire back at the boss when he’s being crazy but you know you need the job. Then Fred was definitely a solid character for trying to keep on inviting Scrooge to things long after he has probably been turned down hundreds and hundreds of times in the past. Nobody would have blamed him if he’d given up long before that.

Scrooge was really lucky to be surrounded by so many good people if you think about it. In another setting things could have been tough for him even after the ghosts had rehabilitated the guy. It’s hard to just start fresh when you’ve completely alienated everyone around you after all. It’s not like anyone ever owes you a second chance inherently. You have to have someone willing to talk to you first and so Fred really came in clutch there.

Overall, Scrooge is a pretty good story. Admittedly there is little reason to watch this version over the newer ones since they have consistently improved more and more as the years have gone by. I really liked an animated one that came out in the late 2000s and for live action it’s hard to go away from Scrooged. Still, as this is one of the original ones, it’s playing the story straight without all of the flourishes and new directions. it can be good to remember what the baseline is here as opposed to all of the modern renditions. So if you are really curious how it played out then this is a good film to watch.

Overall 6/10

Godzilla Minus One Review

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It’s time for the return of Godzilla! Japan likes to bring him back from time to time although lately we haven’t really seen any big opponents for him. This is a return to form of a more serious Godzilla film and what would happen if he really did show up. It’s a solid modern take on the Kaiju and delivers with some solid special effects. It doesn’t stand out compared to the average Godzilla film but having any Godzilla film show up is always awesome!

The movie starts with Koichi deciding to dodge his suicide bomb run and just head to an island to recharge for a bit. No way he’s dying in futility! Nobody is particularly thrilled about this but they don’t have time to convince him to be destroyed because Godzilla shows up and starts laying waste to all of them. Koichi and Tachibana are the only survivors. Tachibana escapes to parts unknown while Koichi visits his home but people are also upset at him. A suicide bomber cannot return alive, it means that they didn’t follow through. The only thing keeping Koichi together at this point is taking care of a lady named Noriko and a baby she is helping out. They are homeless after the attacks and so he lets her crash at his place. Can he redeem himself now?

A lot of the story is really about Koichi dealing with the fact that he survived and wondering if he made the right choice. He has survivor’s guilt and a whole lot of PTSD to unpack so it’s definitely not easy. I would say this also tends to be a cultural distinction here as Japan always was really big on the family honor dynamic. Koichi knows he would have died for pretty much no purpose and yet he still can’t shake the guilt because it’s what was expected of him. Defying the rules and doing your own thing is more of an American ideology and that’s where I tend to stand. To me it makes sense to keep surviving and make the rational decision without guilt but of course that’s easier said than done.

So the film keeps up this very somber tone for a long while with Koichi and it’s a bit hard to connect to. I do appreciate that he is trying to take care of Noriko though. The film can’t help but try to force a romance later on though which I thought was rather unnecessary. Having Koichi help a pure stranger out of the kindness of his heart or some kind of belief that he needed to even out the scales would have been really good. In saving her he would save himself or something like that. The romance just muddies that message a bit I’d say. At least it does take place over several years so I won’t give the usual complaint of it being rushed. It really wasn’t in this case, I just felt it didn’t really support the themes.

Noriko is a good person as well with how she takes care of the baby and everything. She also tries to move on so that she is not a bother to Koichi at all. I can appreciate that like her getting a job and everything. Her reaction times are also a lot better than Koichi’s and her instincts are sharp. She even has the best durability feat among the humans in the whole film. As a whole she is definitely a quality character, dare I say easily the best human in the film?

There are some other characters but they tend to be more on the annoying side. You have the inventor who barely knows what he is doing and who gets drunk a lot. You’ve got the young guy who is out of his depths but really wants to help. Then you have the older, more jaded guy who is ready to step up when needed. They aren’t bad but don’t do a whole lot. Tachibana was a good rival at least in that he wouldn’t let Koichi off easily but didn’t let his personal feelings get in the way of things by the end. When it was time to buckle down and do his job, he did it 100%.

Now as for Godzilla, unfortunately this is one of his weakest incarnations. That is usually going to happen when you have him up against humans though. In this case, conventional weaponry is enough to heavily damage him to the point of needing to use his regeneration. The main ships are nearly able to destroy him on their own. This Godzilla would not last for very long against someone like Orga, I can tell you that for sure. I liked the regeneration and how fast it worked, but being at the cost of his overall durability was a little unfortunate. You have to try and strike a balance of course but I don’t think this was it.

Naturally it’s all going to get a little cheesy with the humans fighting Godzilla but that’s how it goes I suppose. Whenever the power balance is drastic enough, that is going to happen. The ending actually had another cheesy event aside from Godzilla going down, but that one I was fine with. I always root for the Hollywood type ending where things go well and so this worked out really well. Why have a grim ending when you can have a happy one right? If not for that part of the ending you could argue that the costs were just way too great.

We do have a pair of cliffhangers at the end of the movie. We know most likely they will never be followed up on but I still appreciate having them in there. It’s an ending that reminds you just how doomed everyone is going to be in the future. Humanity has no idea what they have just gotten themselves into! It’s also a very realistic human setting so the odds of building some kind of Mecha Godzilla this time feel very remote.

The soundtrack is all right. The standout is definitely when they play the main Godzilla theme from the good ole days. None of the other tracks were nearly as intense. Godzilla’s new roar isn’t bad although I prefer the original one. The design itself is definitely solid on all accounts though. The Atomic Breath may take a little too long to fire and recharge but these nerfs were likely necessary to give the humans a fighting chance and even then they feel super outmatched anyway.

The writing was solid in the film and I appreciate that there is a lot going on. The graphics are definitely good all around. In general it’s just not quite as fast paced as the average Godzilla film though. It’s hard to go back to the days of not having an opponent Kaiju. Shin Godzilla did that to better effect with all of the humor throughout the film and poking fun at how everything needs a meeting. This one was going for a much more somber tone which was never really going to work out quite as well. It’s just tough to really pull that off in general but thanks to Godzilla the film is still pretty solid.

Overall, Godzilla Minus One is a pretty good film. It may not reach the usual Godzilla standard at times but that’s because they were trying to lean a bit more on the humans here. I don’t think that plot ever becomes super compelling as Godzilla steals the show without appearing for a while. So you’re left just wanting Godzilla to appear every time even when the humans are supposed to be dominating and it’s hard to really balance both ends. Still, I definitely recommend checking this one out as soon as possible. It’s not every day that we have a Godzilla film!

Overall 7/10