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Heaven Can Wait Review

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I saw the original film adaption of this story not too long ago with good ole Mr. Jordan. I thought it was okay but didn’t actually think it was very good and the ending was pretty bad. Well this one improves upon the original in just about every way and is a lot better. The ending’s still not great to be honest…in fact it’s still bad but the film manages to overcome the original’s just enough for me to still give it the thumbs up all the way.

So the film starts off with Joe training hard to stay in shape for the Rams. He is the backup QB but you never know when he will become the starter someday. In fact, that day is coming up fast as the coaches have decided to plug him in. He goes out for a bike ride but is unfortunately destroyed in the car crash. He is taken to the after-world to prepare for his journey to Heaven but Joe feels like there has been a mixup. Well, he was correct! It turns out that he should have survived and the new trainee was a little too overeager. Jordan promises to find Joe a new body since his original was already cremated but can he really get a body that is just as good as the old one? That’s not going to be an easy feat I’ll tell you that right now!

The whole thing is pretty unfair to Joe from the start so you feel bad for the guy. He’s trained his entire life for a shot like this and then it’s all taken away from him in an instant. I suppose life itself can often be unfair like that but for a movie you’re hoping that he gets the perfect ending. The problem is that he never does. The ending is on the bittersweet side as he gets to accomplish some of his dreams but has to sacrifice others. It’s like he just really can’t get it all but because the error was not on his side, Jordan should have made it up to him a lot better.

Well, Joe has a good attitude about the whole thing so I give him credit there. I like how they showed Joe’s good work ethic here. To play QB for the NFL you need to be memorizing a lot of playsheets and putting in a ton of time into the craft. So when he takes on the body of a big CEO, he actually does the research and handles himself fairly well in the big business meeting. The only problem is that he’s not very smart with how he handles the two people trying to murder him. Joe took over the body of a guy who was recently murdered by his wife and the guy she was cheating with so it would stand to reason that they would try again once he had the miraculous recovery right?

Well…he doesn’t do anything about it. It’s just a very questionable move there because you figure that he would fix this really fast. It shouldn’t even be a question, he should have quickly gotten the cops involved or if he thought there was no evidence he could grab, confront them at least. Instead he just has fun living his life and acts as if they don’t like each other but as a mild disagreement and not to the extent of his body being deadly just a little bit earlier. The wife and secretary are played up a bit more here than in the original for how goofy and slapstick they are. This is one area where I’d say the original wins. They’re so cartoonish here that you just can’t take them very seriously at all which makes their victory all the worse.

We do have to have the big romance here of course and so the heroine here is Betty. She was at odds with the guy whose body Joe took over so there is some friction at first but when Joe makes good on his word to stop harming the environment and small businesses then she comes around. Of course Joe is married so I’m a bit wary with Betty so readily going out with him to dinner and the like. Sure you could say it’s just as friends…surrrrreee but Joe clearly doesn’t see it that way. He does give her the ole promise that he’ll get divorced soon so they could get together but the whole thing should feel rather suspicious. Also it just doesn’t make her look great. I’d also argue that the ending isn’t great for her either.

Yes, she remembers the line that he says at the end so she knows this quarterback is the one Joe was talking about but there’s no reason to assume that it’s the same guy. In fact it isn’t anyway since Joe is gone so they’re going to hook up because she’s doing this as a favor to Joe? No matter how you slice it, it makes her look a little too willing to jump into the next relationship rather than giving herself some time to grieve and stay solo after the first guy was bumped off.

Jordan tries hard with finding good bodies for Joe but I have to say that he didn’t try hard enough. As I keep saying, the ending wasn’t satisfying and it’s entirely Jordan’s fault. He could have warned Joe about the murder attempt and he certainly could have allowed him to live out the rest of his life rather than conking out early. He’s one of those guys who promises the moon but then doesn’t deliver.

Finally Max was a loyal friend to Joe the whole time. He really helped get Joe back into Football shape rather quickly which was impressive and the guy helped out with the murder case. I will say that the investigation was a lot more fun than in the first film. It does get a little goofier at times but on the whole I thought it was a blast and a half. I’m always up for a good mystery after all.

Overall, Heaven Can Wait is a fun film. I’d say on the whole the humor lands more effectively than the first one. Joe is a better main character here and like I said it’s just better nearly all around the board compared to the first. The ending is still a downer but it’s not enough to keep me from recommending the film. You’ll definitely have a good time here and hey it’s also an important reminder to be careful when entering any road/tunnel that is not properly lit. It’s a real risk.

Overall 7/10

Invisible Invaders Review

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It’s time for a sci-fi film where the aliens decide to finally take out humanity. Trust me I knew this day was coming because humanity definitely was never going to last long against aliens. Aliens are more resilient, skilled, and just generally trickier than humans. These guys are invisible though which makes it even tougher. It’s a good movie with a fairly cheesy ending but on the whole I had a good time here.

The movie starts off with a scientist dying. After that, he suddenly appears in the house of another scientist and explains that his body is being reanimated by an alien. These aliens give the Earth 24 hours to surrender before they take over. The humans don’t believe this of course and so they don’t do anything. After the 24 hours pass, the aliens begin shooting up all of the national landmarks and overwhelming the humans. There doesn’t seem to be a way to stop them because the invisibility means they can get into any secure location or snipe people at will. So America puts all of their hopes on two scientists, Penner and Lamont. Only they can hope to save the day but will they find a solution in time?

Now the humans are rather lucky here in that the aliens have no real weapons. See, apparently Earth’s atmosphere is rather toxic to them so they have to stay invisible and use sabotage to take the edge against the human. Sabotage is in itself still a very good tactic so we shouldn’t underestimate it but that also means it is their only win condition. If the humans can find a way to make them visible then they will be able to end this in a snap. A hard, but achievable task.

Unfortunately one of the scientists is super annoying. Lamont is one of those guys who throws in the towel immediately and complains a whole lot. Seriously this guy is just a nuisance and he goes as far as to start destroying equipment all over the base while he has a tantrum. It’s one thing to figure you have no shot but it’s another to make sure of it like this. He wanted to force a surrender and while the other characters let him off easy, I would have considered that as a complete betrayal and kicked him off the squad. You can’t have someone like that putting you in danger. He never recovered from that.

Penner is actually a good scientist who tries hard the whole time. Even when things look bleak, he continues to fight hard and holds his own. It’s not an easy thing to do but he still does it. He lives up to his reputation as one of the biggest geniuses in the country and ultimately he takes a lot of risks of his own. Then you have the main heroine Phyllis who does her best to assist. She may not be making inventions but she watches over the crew. Mainly the tough part for her is having to deal with some flirting when everyone should have their minds on business. You’d think that they would with the stakes this high right?

The main guy who likes her is Bruce. So he’s from the army and is the one in charge of protecting the scientists. This sometimes means making some hard calls like when he has to murder someone who was in the way. Phyllis gets mad at this but I was 100% on the soldier’s side. She was right there and yet she acts like there was another way. It’s clear that this guy had lost his marbles and he even threatened to shoot the heroes. So Bruce took him out first and saved all of their lives. I don’t get how you can possibly discount that. It’s what happened after all and it’s not like Bruce enjoyed his mission there.

Bruce also takes a whole lot of risks later on as he keeps testing out the weapons on the aliens which results in his having to go out onto the battlefield alone. He’s nearly choked to death on one occasion and barely escapes with his life the other times. So he’s a good guy that doesn’t hold back on his missions. He accomplished his mission and yes there was a body count but it was as a last resort. He was surprisingly weak in a fist fight when one of the other guys went crazy later on though. I expected him to be a lot stronger as a soldier so he really needs to his the gym at some point.

As a final note, the aliens in these invasion films really aren’t very smart sometimes. There’s no reason to even bother giving Earth demands when there’s no chance that they could be met. Instead, use the element of disguise and deal some damage quickly. Wirth all of the aliens being invisible they could launch the ultimate first strike and blow up so many installation all at once that humanity won’t know what do . Plus if they were smart about it, people wouldn’t even be able to guess that it was aliens so they could use these tactics for an extremely long time. Humanity only stands a chance because of plot armor.

Overall, The Invisible Invaders is a good movie. I think it could have stood to be a little more exciting though. Most of the film is about the characters talking things over and trying to find a weakness. The actual confrontations are pretty rare and considering that the aliens are fully sentient, we could have had more hype dialogue with them. Maybe see more of the other governments as well and what they are doing to counter the alien threat. We see that for the most part everyone is getting wrecked but couldn’t some others adjust? These aliens are basically just guys with guns without the invisibility working so if you monitor the entrances and exits you can see when someone shows up and pop them. Well I suppose that’s for more of a thriller film. Either way I would recommend the movie. It’s a quality feature with good writing and pacing so you can’t go wrong there.

Overall 6/10

Knives Out Review

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This was a really big murder mystery film when it first came out. We don’t get a lot of big budget types like this one so it’s always cool when they show up. Murder mysteries are a lot of fun after all and especially when they throw in a lot of suspects so you can really have fun trying to guess who it is. This one certainly had me guessing for a while because this kind of film always has so many twists. I was actually expecting a certain twist to happen at some point but it would have been a really hard sell so it’s for the best that the film didn’t go there.

The movie starts with a big family all converging on a rich mansion. The reason for this is that the head of the family is now dead after seemingly committing suicide. So this should be an open and shut case but the world’s most skilled detective Montblanc is here for some reason. It’s very strange to see him here if there is no murder or criminal action afoot and the cops are assisting him with some kind of investigation. So now the clock is ticking and every member of the family is rather suspicious. They all really have big motives to murder him except for his nurse Maria who got along with him really well and has a good alibi. In fact she has the rare ability where her body forced her to puke whenever she tells a lie. This will be super handy for Montblanc to have on his team so he recruits her as his assistant.

So lets talk about all of the suspects here. First to understand the suspects we have to understand the victim. Harlan is the man who died and he was super rich thanks to his best selling murder mystery novels. The guy’s family really treated him like a bank and they were always trying to get rich off of him which is rough. It is the one part about being rich that i do think would be tough as it’s hard to form normal relationships at that point. Still, Harlan is a fairly intelligent guy and he has decided to cut everyone out. It’s a pretty smart move to be honest and he just has to be careful on the execution because you never know what the other characters may try and do.

Okay so the first suspect is his maid Fran. She’s the first one to find the body after all. She doesn’t have much of a motive for murdering him beyond the money but she had opportunity and time to do so. Of course this is all assuming tat there even is a murder since this appears to have been a suicide but you have to assume that someone is guilty or you wouldn’t have a complete murder here right? Fran’s role isn’t super large next to other characters. She’s okay but really not very intelligent at all and makes one of the worst mistakes that I’ve seen in a while.

The next suspect is Ransom who stormed out of the party really early and so there is a large block of time for which he is completely unaccounted for. Rather suspicious right? He has a big motive here as he was not going to be included in Harlan’s will. So that means he gets nothing out of the inheritance at all but if he bumps Harlan off quickly enough perhaps the new will won’t have taken effect yet and the old one will still be around where he does get some money out of it.

The will itself is a bit of a controversial topic but I agree with Harlan here. A widely accepted notion is that you need to take care of your family. So even if they’re awful, you include them in the will in some capacity. I get it but I definitely do disagree 100%. If you weren’t a good person or we weren’t close at all then why would I put you in my will? I’d rather just give 100% to a nice co-worker or friend. If I don’t know anyone at all then I’ll donate to a bunch of charities but I wouldn’t give to family just because they’re family. In general I don’t tend to buy into very many traditions that are obligation based. That’s just not who I am.

Then there is Linda who is fairly successful thanks to Harlan’s checks and influence. Without him though, the money will dry up quickly and so she definitely needs to be a big part of his will. If he was going to cut off his assistance to her, then it would make sense to bump him off right away. She’s a fun enough character but you can definitely feel how selfish she is from the jump. Of course that’s pretty much the case for every character here.

Richard has a massive motive as he was cheating on his wife and Harlan found out about it. So bumping him off would be a way to take the secret to the grave or at least that would be the main idea here. In general Richard is always upset about something and he’s an entertaining character with all of the grumbling but probably not somebody you would really want to be around. One of the guys he grumbles with is Walt, Harlan’s son. Walt’s big motive here is that Harlan was about to fire the guy from his job which meant that Walt would have to actually start earning his own living soon. That’s likely not something that would come very easily to him so it puts him in a pretty tough spot there. He’s also very quick to start making threats so you know that he can’t really be trusted.

Next suspect is Joni who is into the very abstract spiritual stuff. She believes in keeping an open mind and always being peaceful but of course this goes out the window once money is involved. She needs money and so if Harlan won’t send her checks anymore then that’s going to be a big problem. Again she’s a very selfish character who only looks out for herself and is more than willing to bump someone off. Her daughter Meg isn’t in a great position to be bumping anyone off. She’s definitely not loyal at all and at the end of the day is about as trustworthy as all of the others which means that she is not trustworthy but it’s harder to picture her bumping anyone off.

There’s also Jacob who is another kid that’s really here to mess around. He’s definitely annoying but hard to consider as a murder suspect. Of course everyone is a suspect but you figure this was a grownup task. Well, Montblanc will have to work hard to figure it out. He’s definitely a really fun detective and I really enjoyed the accent. Adding that in was a real genius move if you ask me because it does help him stand out among the other characters. I definitely haven’t seen another big detective with that voice before. Montblanc also has a good sense of humor and tends to steal the show in all of his scenes.

Maria is also a good heroine although a bit weak willed I have to admit. She is the kind of character who can definitely be swayed with a little social pressure and I was hoping she would be a bit bolder. She has her big moments here and there and is a nice person to be sure but for example if someone’s asking for a lot of money then you can’t give it away. It was crazy to see her actually considering letting go of all her immense wealth so quickly when confronted by the other characters. That’s just messed up. I’m telling you there’s no way I’d even remotely consider giving away the money for even half a second here. That’s not even counting the fact that they were not subtle in how they didn’t care much for her initially. Then you’ve got the threats, etc. Yeah Maria was way too much of a pushover in this film.

The only real negative I’d have here is more of a minor one. The gimmick of the main heroine puking every time she tells a lie was pretty gross. It happens quite a lot in the movie too so that we can really see the ability. Of course I get what they were going for here and it’s super handy in solving the mysteries but at the same time I would have preferred any other kind of gimmick. Like maybe telling a lie makes her suddenly bark or do a backflip. Something a little less gross you know?

Again, this is pretty minor but ugh those moments could really be hard to watch. The visual effects for the film are really good though. We get the really cool background with the knives that are sticking out of the wall and of course the mansion looks really good. It’s got a very grandiose feel to it. The soundtrack is more on the calm side as it’s just a subtle backdrop while the mystery is being solved. It makes sense but of course I wouldn’t have minded a few rock songs to have been thrown in here and there.

Overall, Knives Out is definitely a great film. It brings back all of the classic mystery elements in a big budget adventure for the modern day. There’s a lot to love for this title from start to finish and it has a lot of replay value. I would definitely recommend checking it out as soon as possible. We’ll see if the sequel can possibly stand up to this one. It would seem that most definitely think it pales in comparison so we’ll have to see if it can make a comeback somehow.

Overall 8/10

The Enchanted Cottage Review

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All right it’s time for a romance film that’s going for more of a wholesome feel. Unfortunately it does make some mistakes along the way like the romance being a rebound which always hurts its potential. It’s a fairly low key film and so it’s not bad or anything like that but it doesn’t succeed in nearly as much as it would have liked. It needed a bit of a rewrite in some areas to really take things to the next level.

The movie starts off with Oliver and his fiancé heading to a small college to prepare for their honey moon. This place is enchanted according to the legends and it should bring them happiness. The fiancé doesn’t love the place but she wants Oliver to be happy and accepts his decision to spend the duration of the trip there. The place is run by a nice old lady and a newcomer named Laura. Laura has had a tough time of thing in life because most people find her looks repulsive which makes everyone seem rather petty to be honest. They can’t just act nice at least? The film desperately wants you to think that Laura looks downright ugly but doesn’t do a particularly good job of it at all. The movie needed some special effects or something.

Well, the plans change when Oliver is called back into active duty. During one of the battles he is mildly scarred in the face and loses the use of one of his arms for a while. His fiancé and family try to console him but he’s too ashamed to see anyone and so he locks himself in the cottage. The only ones allowed to see him are Laura and the home owner. Eventually the fiancé gives up and the family leaves. Oliver then decides he still wants a wife so he goes after Laura and while she is thrilled to finally have a guy, part of her feels like she’s just the consolation prize. Does he actually like her?

So we have come to my biggest problem with the film. In my mind her fears are correct and he practically admits as such. He doesn’t want to be alone and with his scars, he figures that he can never attract all of the beautiful women that he once could. So Laura is basically the best that he can get and Laura really needed to have the strength of will to say no. That’s just really insulting to be honest and romance is something you should never settle for. You’re either first pick or you’re last. There’s no real in between there.

Yes the film does make the case that by the end he really likes her but it’s hard to see how this would have started in the first place. It’s a rather big piece to just shelve for a while isn’t it? Also you feel bad for the original fiancé because she was going to stay by his side. He’s the one who pushed her away and so she really got the short end of the stick here. They were engaged and everything so now she has to go back to square 1 to find herself another guy? That’s really gotta be rough.

The family don’t look great here. They mean well but definitely complain a lot and ultimately make things tougher on Oliver. It would have been nice if at least one of them could have been supportive though. Even if your kid ends up falling in love with someone that you don’t find to be attractive, there’s no reason why your kid should ever know that. Keep those thoughts to yourself and remember that beauty isn’t the only reason to get together with someone. That would be extremely shallow.

There is a supporting character here named John who is blind. That actually works well for Oliver since he doesn’t have to be embarrassed when they talk. They’re actually able to converse naturally and John is a very perceptive guy. He does his best to help during the film even if it doesn’t particularly go well. He’s a nice guy and was a good supporting character.

Finally we have the lead heroine Laura. As mentioned earlier, she has to go through a lot here. The film plays up how ugly everyone thinks she is to a rather crazy degree where men will even back up when they see her. They don’t want to get anywhere near her and so that makes for a super tragic part of the film. Particularly since she tries to avoid these scenarios as much as possible but is basically forced into it later on in the film. She seriously can’t catch a break and that really is sad. So you’re rooting for her but as the older lady mentioned, sometimes you just gotta stay alone. There’s nothing wrong with that and it’s better to be alone than to settle. At least that’s how I see it although I’m sure some would debate that.

The best thing about Laura’s character is that she really takes everything in stride. Sure, she does get upset and sad at times which is completely understandable but she doesn’t take it out on anyone else. Laura does her best to get right back on the saddle and help out around the cottage. That’s the trait of a good main character. The writing is good and the film goes back fast so I had no real technical issues here.

Overall, The Enchanted Cottage is a pleasant film on the surface but I thought the romance was really weak which does end up hurting the rest of the experience. It should have made Oliver less of a jerk the whole time. I actually think they should have made it so that the fiancé and family were treating him poorly. So he got to experience what Laura had to go through all those years and that would have been a great way to link them together. At that point it’s not like he settled for her but that he grew to love her because of how she stayed strong despite all of the trauma. Maybe they could work that in for a reboot. In the meantime you could definitely do better than this film.

Overall 5/10

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Resident Evil is one of those franchises where the films are typically doomed from the start but you are still curious how it will play out. The first movie series had a lot of flaws to be sure but it never forgot to turn up with some amazing musical themes and a whole lot of action. It had some crazy scary visuals and in general was very intense. This one tries extremely hard to be scary, often taking the shortcut of just being grotesque but it doesn’t work as well. It drags on and on and while the film was initially trying to be more accurate to the games, it seems like they gave up on that early on.

The movie starts out with a reallllllly long scene of a girl noticing that there’s a mysterious creature in her room. She heads over to investigate and you’re just waiting for the jump scare the whole time as something seems wrong with the other girl. Anyway onto the real plot! Many years later, Claire travels home to warn her brother Chris that Raccoon City is hiding something and they are in danger. Chris doesn’t buy any of it and runs back to the police station. Only problem is that zombies are real and the town is now under attack. It’s mostly deserted at this point which is good but the problem is that the Umbrella corporation is blocking all exits. Can the heroes find a way out?

Where to start with this one right? First off most of the characters are pretty bad here. You have a truck driver who isn’t paying any attention to the road so he crashes into a girl and then tries to tell himself that the crash wasn’t that bad. Unfortunately his dog becomes a zombie so later on he gets taken out which was pretty tragic. The dog really didn’t deserve any of that.

Then we have Leon who is the biggest clown in the movie. This guy’s supposed to be super serious. An amazing agent who takes on all kinds of threats and stuff. He’s the guy you call in when all else has failed and yet that just never happens to be the case here. Yes he gets a big moment at the end of the film. That’s great and all but he’s complete comic relief here and constantly getting into trouble. I laughed when he walked up to the prison bars like a rookie after a prisoner was threatening him. What do you think happens at that point? Well the guy pulls him into the bars and while Leon is stunned he grabs his gun and gets him into a chokehold.

That’s so embarrassing. That should absolutely never happen to anyone. How do you let yourself be that close to the bars in the first place? It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense at all and just makes him look awful. Then Leon takes so long to open the door that the guy gets eaten anyway. To be honest if I’m that guy I would have shot Leon myself for all the incompetence there so hat way at least we both go down together. Leon shouldn’t be walking out at that point when he’s the one who was creating this whole mess.

Hopefully in a sequel he will be experienced but I wouldn’t hold my breath. The writing for this film was pretty bad the whole time anyway. Wesker definitely has a very different kind of role in this film. He’s certainly missing all of the usual aura that he has. This guy is just another dude with a gun now and he also comes across as rather petty since his motivation here is money. It’s not global domination or anything like that, he just wants his big pay day. That’s a fine motivation for a grunt, but not Wesker. That’s going way too far in the other direction.

I didn’t really have a problem with Chris or Claire. Chris maybe could have listened more but I do have to admit that Claire made an historically bad argument in favor of the conspiracy. Showing a video of a crazy looking guy yelling about the virus and how Umbrella is evil isn’t a great jumping on point. She didn’t give Chris any reason why he should even believe this guy. Chris also did dash off rather quick so it would have been tough to convince him either way but the whole exchange didn’t work out in Claire’s favor.

Chris does get a really bad scene later on with a lighter though. It’s supposed to be tense but it was just dumb. So basically there are a bunch of zombies around and so Chris turns on the lighter to scare them off. Problem is that it’s defective so it keeps on turning on and off. This way you can see the zombies getting closer as they keep on circling him over and over again. The scene doesn’t work because they should have finished him off so many times. Like it just doesn’t make sense that he keeps on surviving because of how close they were. It should have been all over for him and so it was pretty annoying to see him just continuing to escape with that plot armor.

I’d argue more plot armor is when the girl from the opening scene returns in some kind of monster hybrid form and crushes one of the zombies. These monsters should not be losing in a battle of physical strength like that. Maybe if you’re Alice who has super abilities but a girl who is seemingly some kind of hybrid? It’s a bit harder to buy even allowing for the fact that we didn’t get to see her much. Meanwhile the final boss looks really bad as it gets one shotted. So the problem here among many others is that you couldn’t take the zombies super seriously as a threat since they kept losing.

There’s not much of a good soundtrack here unfortunately. There are a pair of songs that play randomly in moments that really don’t seem to match with what’s happening on screen though. Trust me that really took me by surprise because of how crazy it was but not really in a good way. As for the visuals, again I’d say the original is much better. This one’s going more for grotesque as opposed to cool so you lose a lot of points there.

At the end of the day what more can be said about this one right? It squeezes in all of the negatives you would expect to see. We’ve got animal violence, general excessive violence all over the place, a very weak cast, poor writing, and it’s just not that interesting. There are very few positives I can even give the film which is why it’s so low. There is one positive though and that is that I enjoyed the way the information was presented. For example when the on screen messages tell us what time it is or why the city is so abandoned. It was a fun way to deliver the exposition. I enjoyed it at least which is a small consolation. If only the rest of the film could have hung in there. I wanted to see more of what Umbrella was doing about this and reactions from the rest of the world. It feels like the setup is really nice but the film just didn’t capitalize. There’s a lot of fun things you can delve into here aside from the obvious zombies murdering everyone.

Overall, Resident Evil has another stinker here. I would definitely recommend watching the original films instead but I suppose technically the best thing to do would be to skip the whole franchise at this point. It’s difficult to pull off a zombie film as it is and I don’t think these will ever be the ones to buck the trend. At least there is an after credits scene to help set up the sequel and in general there are a lot of ways you can continue with the series but we’ll see what they actually want to do for the next adventure. Hopefully they get a little more out there with the next one.

Overall 1/10

Day The World Ended Review

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It’s time for a really sloppy movie which is why this one does not fare very well. The poster’s actually pretty exciting but the monster barely even appears in the movie. I suppose it’s not false advertising per say but it’s certainly on the border right there. You see that poster and it just makes you shake your head because the vibe the poster’s going for will not reflect your experience with the movie in any way.

The film starts off with Jim and his daughter Louise taking refuge in their house. Most of the world has been irradiated after a big bomb attack and the only reason they have survived is because Jim knew this day would come so he has enough supplies for the two of them and the house is in the perfect place where the winds are kept out by the nearby caverns. Unfortunately a few people stop by and Louise lets them all in despite Jim’s protests. There isn’t enough supplies for all of these folks and as they all get hungry, these “nice” strangers may prove to be deadly. Also there’s a monster running around.

The movie really has a Twilight Zone kind of feel to it for the opening act. It’s a very strange circumstance after all and we’re thrown into the mix without much of an explanation at first. So as more people pile into the house, you know that something’s going to give way and fast. It’s inevitable that there will be big fights and disagreements when everyone is hungry and irritable. The movie is at its best during these opening moments when everyone is suspicious of each other. Where the film falters is after that and I’ll get into it more in a second but basically it breaks the atmosphere for a lot of action and thrills except it’s all very poorly written.

The first issue here is just how much of a villain Tony is. Now at first as the viewer you’re upset with Louise for letting everyone in but hey they would die without coming inside so you get it. The first thing Tony does though is break through the door and hold Jim at gunpoint. That should be enough to immediately say that this is not going to work right? If this guy is so willing to use a gun then it’s time to take him out. He takes out the gun and makes threats multiple times. He attempts to murder Jim, Rick, and other people in the house numerous times.

Often times they will beat him up and he’ll say that he’ll try again later once they are asleep. Tony is not subtle at all. Then he’s always trying to force himself on Louise and he’s abusive to his sort of girlfriend Ruby but nobody does anything about this. Time after time they just threaten him some more. The heroes will literally say that they’ll shoot him next time to Tony calls their bluff and each time they don’t do anything. Right now they are at the brink of life and death with how bad the situation is, there’s no way they should be tolerating this.

The whole film feels supremely unrealistic. To put this another way, there are many times where Tony goes for Jim’s gun but Jim insists on just leaving it on the couch all the time. Inevitably there comes a time where Tony grabs it and you’re just wondering what is going on. You’re hoping that it’s somehow part of the plan but it really isn’t. Then Jim has all day to shoot Tony but doesn’t seem to want to do it. He only fires as a last resort after the body count has gone up enough.

All of the characters look awful as a result and this comes down squarely on the writing. It makes absolutely no sense to put up with so much from Tony. They should have finished him off or at least tied the guy up a long time ago. By not doing anything they’re putting everyone else in danger for no real reason. You just can’t be doing that sort of thing. Then there is the injured guy who mutates into a monster hybrid who goes out at night to eat animals. This guy also has veiled threats the whole time and is generally creepy but the heroes don’t do anything. They just go to sleep as normal.

For this guy I’m not saying you take him out per say as he’s not obviously evil the way Tony is but you figure they should do something. This guy talks about the future of mankind and how his mutated kind will rule which is as ominous as it gets. That and when he says that they’re all going to be killed shortly. Makes you think a little right? Of course this is referencing the monster which barely appears. The monster really should have shown up more, that would have made everything a bit more exciting. Yeah it takes away from the spooky Twilight Zone atmosphere but that was already starting to break anyway.

I think this movie would have been most effective without the monster or mutations. Just the heroes surviving as they slowly run out of food and have to decide what to do. Do they make a run for it and try to find some food, stay in until the last moment and hope the radiation leaves? A lot of good ways to have some tension in there and the film doesn’t go for any of that unfortunately.

So yeah back to the characters. Tony is super evil yet nobody does anything about it. Ruby is also super annoying because it’s clear that Tony doesn’t love her and will just keep on using her but this never sinks in. The guy does everything short of murdering her and she still thinks they have a chance of being together. Ultimately this really doesn’t go over well and the whole subplot is just really annoying.

Jim is a pretty bad main character for all of those scenes with Tony where he doesn’t do anything. Jim talks a tough game but when the chips are down he’s just not leadership material. Louise allows Tony to go free by not reporting what he was doing to the others. She needed to mention immediately what he did and have the team destroy him. She takes too many chances and lack of communication is a big reason why the heroes are always falling behind in situations like this. You really need to be warning others and prepping for what is coming up.

I’m afraid that I have to take shots at Rick for the same reasons. Even more than Jim, Rick doesn’t want to shoot anybody. Jim even tries to talk him into it a few times and he refuses. Look, it’s great to not want to murder someone but when they keep on trying to murder you, you’re now putting other people in danger. It’s a selfish ac at that point and he doesn’t do a great job of protecting the other heroes as a result. I just expected way better out of this guy.

Another knock against Jim and Rick for going along with it is how Jim decides that it’s time to continue the human race. He encourages Ruby to go with the abusive Tony to have some kids and wants Louise to forget about her missing fiancé and hook up with Rick. Really now? As someone who’s never liked the idea of arranged marriages, telling someone to get together to protect the future of the human race is crazy. It’s way too much of a dramatic leap in logic. We don’t yet know that everyone is doomed and if they are, why bring a baby into this? The babies will now be all on their own if something happens and without any civilization around, there’s not much that can be done if anything bad happens. It’s just a net loss all around.

This film isn’t even that long but it sure drags on at times. There’s also some dead animals that pop up because of the whole eating animals part which doesn’t go over well either. If the film could make a mistake you can bet that it did. It’s a shame because I do think that the premise is really solid. It’s just been done way better by other titles including the Twilight Zone itself. There is really no reason to watch this one.

Overall, Day The World Ended is a very disappointing film. Particularly because I thought the ending was really strong. I was seriously impressed by it the whole time and yet it all ended up failing miserably by the end. The characters’ actions make absolutely no sense and so the drama felt forced. Tony should have been taken off the board way sooner and the longer he remained with the group, the worse it got. You had a hard time seeing him just enjoy the music and sleep soundly with the group when he was constantly trying to murder them. Maybe if this was a parody it could work but it’s all played straight. Yeah the writing here was brutal.

Overall 3/10

Star in the Night Review

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It’s time to take a look at a movie that is very short but still ends up being great. It’s a perfect example of how you can have a great film with developed characters in a really short period of time. The overall message is very clear and executed well. I had a really good time with this one and would definitely recommend it to anyone. It’s super accessible to fans of any genre.

The film has a Hitchhiker stop by a local motel where he is hoping for a place to shelter from the cold for a while and maybe get a hot coffee. The owner isn’t very hospitable though. His name is Nick and he feels like people don’t actually spread goodwill around Christmas. It’s Christmas time right now and yet everyone is as rude as ever. One lady is always complaining about the noise, one guy comes in to complain about his dry cleaning, etc. Nobody seems to actually be in a good mood and they just fake it for a while. The Hitchhiker disagrees and believes that people actually do get nicer on Christmas and that’s when you see their true selves. Will he be proven correct before the night is over? There will be a good opportunity to see how this plays as a young couple runs in with the wife about to give birth. The motel has no available rooms and everyone’s already stressed out…how will this end?

I’d say the character who deserves the most amount of credit here is Nick’s wife Rosa. From the start she is the only character who actually does seem to care about everyone and she is doing her best to make things turn out well. Even before the other characters start to turn around, Rosa was consistent right from the jump. Whether it’s in offering her own blankets for a guest to use or running around to get some clean clothes and fresh drinks, Rosa was doing everything. She never got jaded or let the world beat her down the way it did for Nick.

You get why anyone would get discouraged when you interact with so many rude people every day and that’s why it was super impressive that Rosa never backed down. She was ready for every situation. Best character by far. I will say that Nick is the most entertaining character though. The guy gets extremely irritated all the time so he’s constantly muttering and making a fuss about things. The guy has absolutely lost the last bit of patience a long time ago and is the kind of guy who will no do you a favor. Ultimately he does get the Hitchhiker his cup of coffee once the goodwill starts to spread.

Meanwhile it was nice to see everyone start to pitch in later on. The guy who was complaining about his clothes being wrinkled ends up ripping them up so they can be used as rags for the lady giving birth. The lady who was complaining about the noise ends up helping with the delivery, etc. Everyone did their best to play a part and for the ones who were not really sure how they could help, they just did their best to be compassionate and supportive. There was one guy in particular who was a bit older and not exactly sure how this worked but made it clear that he wanted to help so they had him transporting water and then calming down the husband.

In the end everyone appeared to be rude and basically not good people at the start but once someone was actually in a jam they ended up helping out. Nowadays it can be hard to picture that happening in many situations but it is nice to think that people would help you out when the chips were down. For example a lady being pregnant and about to give birth should cause you to want to help. It should trigger your parental instinct as you jump in to attend every need. The Mom is just in such a delicate state that you want to help as much as possible. I knew someone who was pregnant for a while and it was always fun to help her out. I probably overdid it a bit as I tend to but I made sure she was stuffed full of pop tarts, Chipotle, Burger King, chocolates, and whatever other snacks she would suddenly have a craving for! It just feels kind of nice like you’re helping make sure the kids comes out all right but of course that’s taking way too much credit.

That’s the kind of memory the film helps to bring out of you though. Each character here really wanted to do their part and so minor complaints like the noise just weren’t a problem anymore. You quickly start to see the big picture in those moments and it’s important to remember that even when there isn’t something urgent going on. You should always take a step back and just try to make sure you aren’t losing your cool over something minor.

The film is extremely short at less than 30 minutes long so it has to move quickly. I’d say that the film pulls this off perfectly though as the pacing is good and the writing is on point. In a way it’s able to directly tackle the message even easier this way than if it was super long and had to throw a lot of extra plot elements in. Make no mistake, I think this could absolutely work as a long movie as well because when a film’s writing is good, length is not really a factor. So I have a lot of confidence in the team behind this one.

Overall, Star in the Night is a great film. It’s a nice optimistic view on humanity which you don’t see very often and it makes for a very wholesome watch. It works really well as a Christmas film and is more focused on the true meaning of Christmas in spreading goodwill and cheer to all. It’s an allegory for the Three Wisemen in a way with a lot of elements from the Nativity being brought in. I also think this is a great way to explain some concepts to kids and younger viewers watching as it’s all very clear and easy to understand while still being mature enough for older viewers to get something out of it. The production values were all on point and the characters were solid. It may have been short but it’s very memorable.

Overall 8/10

Here Comes Mr. Jordan Review

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It’s time for another film involving souls and it was pretty interesting but I definitely had a massive problem with the ending. The problem was so big that I dare say it ends up having a big effect on the movie itself. It’s just not the way you want to see these things go and it felt like the main character basically got the raw end of the deal. Nothing went the way that it should have for him.

The movie starts with Joe getting ready for the biggest match of his life. If he wins this then he will be crowned the #1 boxing champ. Joe has been training his entire life for this and is pretty confident in his chances. He hops into his plane and heads on over but some wind shows up and his plane starts to crash. That’s when he wakes up in the after life where he is being taken away….permanently. The whole thing seems rather off so he questions the angel, 7013 on this. Well…it looks like this guy is new at the job and he jumped the gun by taking Joe out early. His boss Jordan vows to make this right.

He will see to it that Joe has a satisfactory new body to replace the old one and that he can live out the rest of his life there. He’s supposed to have dozens of years left to live and so of course Jordan will make sure that he gets to live those years. Joe is not thrilled about any of this but will give this a fair shake as he waits for a good body. There has to be one around here somewhere. And so begins the journey of body hopping and trying to become the champ again.

A good chunk of the film takes place with a corrupt businessman named Farnsworth. See, he was murdered by his wife and her rebound guy so this is a decent body for Joe. It’s not exactly in the most well fit shape but it can do the job. The only problem is of course that people want him dead and the girl that Joe likes (Bette) can’t stand Farnsworth. Well, it’s time for justice and maybe he can get her to change her mind by becoming a better person.

This is really where the film should have stayed as this makes perfect sense for the film. He gets to have a shot at the title because he’s so rich that he can schedule fights and he can use his wealth to make the world a better place. How do you top that right? Well, that would be the general idea but the characters don’t play this smart and the film isn’t quite done yet. There are more bodies to hop and twists to come flying.

First I will say it’s odd that Joe didn’t do anything about the people who murdered Farnsworth. He knows good and well that his wife and secretary had already murdered him once so doesn’t it stand to reason that they would do this again? It makes no sense that he just leaves them to their own devices and doesn’t do a thing about it. This ultimately comes back to bite him and it’s all just rather senseless. Additionally there’s a long period there where Joe doesn’t even really think much about taking them to justice, it’s the last thing on his mind and so he’s close to just letting these murderers keep the money and just doing his own thing. That also doesn’t make sense, cmon now.

Joe’s just not a very smart guy and makes every kind of mistake imaginable. If there’s an error to be made then he will make it. It’s just that simple and that’s really bad all around. You’re rooting for him because he’s a nice guy, but he is definitely a frustrating character the whole time. It’s like he’s sabotaging himself the whole time. Meanwhile it goes without saying that everyone should be upset at 7013 since he messed everything up in the first place. Despite that, he has the gall to be complaining about the situation at different points and how time consuming it all is. He’s the guy who made the situation like this in the first place so there’s really no sympathy here.

Jordan is a bit disappointing in the end too and Joe should be mad at the guy. First off, he absolutely could have warned Joe that he was about to get bumped off the second time. He knew in advance so why not mention something? I’d argue even if it’s against the rules that wouldn’t matter in this case since the situation was all his fault as well. At that point there’s no real precedent for what’s going on. The worst part is also that Jordan ends up just being a big liar the whole time. He made a lot of promises to Joe the whole time about how he would be able to live out the rest of his life and get his shot to be the champion. While the latter maybe counts if you really squint, he definitely went back on the first aspect. It’s just a super rough spot to be in because Joe really lost everything without anything to show for it.

The film also doesn’t make Bette look good as a result. You have to understand that she falls in love with Joe when he’s in the Farnsworth body and then falls for him again in the next one? As far as she knows these are two completely different people so she moves on way too quickly. That’s not the way you find true love and it just makes her look more on the shallow side. I definitely expected better from her here and the romance in general is definitely on the weaker side. Even in the first place it’s hard to see her falling for Farnsworth when he was the one responsible for sending her father to prison. Yes, he made things right but it’s way too late by then right?

Joe’s boss Max was an entertaining character and I always enjoyed seeing him around but the guy could be a bit slow on the uptake at times. Things definitely didn’t go his way a whole lot and you could argue that he probably lose out the most in a lot of ways. Yes, the ending does throw him a bit of a bone but that’s all it does. The guy should have gotten off with a much better fate. He may have contributed to the issue by burning up the original body but it’s not like he ever could have known what was going to happen so I can’t blame him there.

Overall, The writing is good and I enjoyed the plot but the whole movie feels rather unfair to Joe. He was taken from Earth way too early and so he correctly fought for his case to go back. All well and good but the end of the film just slips the rug out from under him which is unfortunate. So I had a good time here and the comedy could be good but parts of the story feel really forced and additionally that ending is particularly brutal. That knocks it down a few pegs here and it’s an eternal reminder of why an ending is supremely important. Without it, you have nothing!

Overall 5/10

Soul Review

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It’s time to look at a Pixar film that came out a while back. It’s a fun title about body swapping while also just being a bit emptier than some of the previous films. You will have a good time here but it feels like they left a whole lot of meat on the bone with what you can do in this kind of plot. I suppose it’s going for a very different feel compared to something like Freaky Friday or Your Name so I couldn’t expect to see all of the usual shenanigans and yet I do think it would have been nice to have seen those.

The movie starts with Joe being stuck in a rather boring teaching position. It’s just not his passion, the guy wants to get out there and play some jazz music. He’s super interested in music but he doesn’t seem to have the talent. Joe’s just never been able to make it in the profession and he had started to lose hope when he gets one last shot. He does really well in the audition this time and is prepared for success when unfortunately he falls down a manhole and is brought to the brink of death. He’s so close to death that his soul heads to the waiting area for death. His only chance to avoid oblivion is to get back to Earth immediately but along the way he meets a spirit named 22. This is his loophole.

Joe needs to convince 22 that she does have a passion, something worth living for. She doesn’t actually want to go to the real world but agrees to get the badge so she can give it to him to have a second shot at life and then she can have fun in the waiting area for the rest of her life. Thing is, there is a bit of a time constraint here in case something happens to Joe’s body and additionally what if he succeeds and 22 decides to keep the body? It’s going to be tricky for him.

It’s always a bit hard to tell where the plot summary really stops in a case like this because the plot just keeps on rolling. I feel like this is a safe place to stop without getting you too many spoilers there but I’m not sure how much the trailers cover and I think some would say to take it a step further is valid. This feels about right to me though even if I will be getting more into the film below. This isn’t exactly a film with any big twists in it or anything like that anyway.

Interestingly there isn’t even a main villain here. At no point are the characters in any real danger or anything like that. The main dilemma is really in Joe trying to get back to Earth but it’s technically very low stakes for the guy. If he fails then he gets to move on into the next realm. There’s no life or death stuff going on here or even a mean landlord trying to steal money or something like that.

In this film it seems like reincarnation is the way the spirits work. Instead of natural biology occurring and kids growing up naturally, spirits are sent from another world to jump into the body of the baby once it is born. Basically souls don’t just appear naturally and so there is a whole order of people raising the spirits and getting them ready to succeed. Natural talent? No such thing, every spirit already has skills that are predetermined from when they were created.

It’s a bit of a wonky system and also one that doesn’t really change much about the film. It’s an interesting take on things but you could also cut it out and nothing would really change so deep down it’s not actually all that important. The spirit world is just a bit boring though so you are always waiting for Joe to get back to Earth. The world wasn’t built for humans so I suppose that makes sense but it means this film doesn’t have as strong a supporting cast as the average titlle.

The only character in spirit world that I liked was Terry and I felt bad for him the whole time. He’s just doing his job and literally helping out by reporting anomalies and everyone treats him like a pest. All the other cosmic beings here are super annoying and Terry really needs to take over at some point. He’s the only one with the skills to actually make that happen after all. The others would crumble immediately.

As a lead Joe is decent but there’s not a whole lot to him. He’s got a tough time actually talking about how he feels and so without 22 here to help him out, the guy hasn’t build himself the best social life. If not for nearly dying he actually would have been in a decent spot though so he was about to turn things around. His character arc feels like it’s still incomplete by the end which does hurt him a bit.

As for 22, she’s more on the annoying side. She may have apparently existed for many years but she still feels like a kid, and a rather selfish one at that. You can’t trust her to keep her word and she guilt trips Joe as needed. I wouldn’t say she had much time to improve either which is unfortunate. 22 ends up helping out a whole lot but this usually occurs through luck and coincidence. By all accounts she shouldn’t have done very well here otherwise.

Now this may sound like a lot of negatives all at once but the film is still good. The animation is solid enough. The graphics are good and you can tell that this is a newer film even if the style isn’t exciting. Pixar really needs to branch out and start to work on better character designs and streamlined colors but at this point you’re used to the style so you either like it or you don’t. It’s still good even if I don’t think it’s elite or anything like that.

Also the movie does move very quickly. The pacing is good and it never drags on. I wouldn’t say it ever makes any big mistakes either. Soul keeps me entertained well enough as well. So I’d say the best way to think of this film is as one that will keep you interested all the way through but doesn’t have a lot of replay value. It’s great background noise in a way that fills in the time but there’s just never a whole lot happening. I think it bit off a plot that was bigger than it could handle and so in the end it just doesn’t make great use of it. You either need the whole film about body swapping or you need the whole film about showing 22 why life is fun but splitting them apart doesn’t leave room for much.

Overall, Soul is a fun film. I think it would have succeeded more if it was funnier as most of the jokes don’t land but at the same time I would consider it to be a very safe film. It’s not particularly ambitious and it has a very small cast but it’s interesting and looks decent. It probably could have stood to have a little less world building so it could focus more on the situation at hand but if we ever get Soul 2 then we could jump right into the story which should end up helping it out. I’d recommend this one if you like Jazz music or are just interested in the story.

Overall 6/10

Woman in Hiding Review

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It’s time for an old noir thriller. I felt like this one was a bit weaker than the average Noir title thanks to the main character in a lot of ways although it’s not like the main villain was all that great either. So it’s a team effort there but at the same time it is still a good movie which is the important part. There’s enough to enjoy here without issues and it will keep your attention.

The film starts off with Deborah deciding that she is through with Selden. The guy basically never comes by to see her. It’s apparently been over 6 months since he effectively ghosted her so she’s going to move to New York. Selden makes some weak excuses but she won’t have any of them. She knows deep in her heart that she has made the right move and settling for this guy would be doing herself a disservice. Her father has everything set up and so she goes home to get ready to pack. Unfortunately Selden runs in later on and explains that her father tripped and died in a crazy accident. He’s also back in love with her so she quickly marries him. Unfortunately this was part of his plan and now he owns the mill.

He threatens her to not leave him or try anything or he will take her down for good. So Deborah waits until night fall to make a break for it but gets into a sabotaged car and crashes. This does allow her to fake her own death but Selden is too prepared and stays on her tail. Surely switching states and names would be enough right? Well she meets another guy that she falls for and what she doesn’t know is that there’s a reward out for her. Uh oh……

So as you can probably guess I have quite a few issues with Deborah in particular here. She just seems way too easy which how she falls for these men. In fact the entire plan only works because she’s always falling in love so easily. (Which as we know when you fall in love too easily then the feelings aren’t all that deep) I don’t get how she let herself marry Selden after it was clear that he didn’t care about her the first time. I won’t fault her for not realizing that he murdered her father since that’s a lot more obvious for the viewer than the character but what she should have definitely realizes was that he just wanted to run the company and she was a means to an end. The fact that she never even suspected that makes her look absolutely terrible.

It took actual proof in front of her face that he was cheating on her for her to finally see the light. Then, in the days before internet you’d think it would be easy to stay out of hi gaze once you’re out of town right? Well it could have been easy if she had kept to herself and not taken chances but starting to like another guy? Cmonnnnnnnn, it just shouldn’t work that fast. She falls into every trap and just makes this adventure a whole lot harder than it needs to be.

I didn’t even like the second guy either. So Keith is someone who just wants to have a good time and he likes her but the guy isn’t the best at listening. Deborah basically spells out the situation to him but he chooses to sell her out anyway. I have to imagine that deep down part of it was for the money but either way it’s a bad look because she had warned him several times that she was being pursued and was obviously terrified. Somehow he took that in the other way to mean that she actually was crazy and the guy over the phone was the one who could be trusted.

He put her in so much danger that I don’t care how sorry he was about it afterwards, there’s no way I can picture her staying with him after that. You’d think that she would be completely traumatized at that point and would prefer sticking it out on her own. Meanwhile the main villain wasn’t the smartest either. He could have handled the situation with Patricia so much better if he wanted to keep the company. Additionally if he wanted to stop Deborah in the opening scene there were much better ways to do it than sabotaging a car and hoping that she didn’t survive. There are so many ways that the plan could have backfired even outside of the way that it backfired in this plan. The guy just wasn’t smart.

Speaking of characters making mistakes, we’ve also got Patricia who makes a lot of mistakes. So Selden nearly murders her in the opening scene and ditched her for money immediately yet she continues to like him for no real reason. It’s clear that he is just using her and that he’s insane but later she tries to act shocked about it. There’s no way you can believe her and I don’t see how she can even believe herself. It just makes her look even worse. If you’re going to be a backstabbing villain then you have to own that but trying to play it both ways and gain some sympathy will never work.

So in the end, what keeps this from being a stronger Noir title is that I didn’t really like any of the characters. They were all really annoying the whole time and kept on holding each other back. Deborah should have escaped easily once she made it out of the car, Selden never should have let it get to that point, Keith never should have sold her out, and Patricia should have never thought that she could trust Selden. They all kept on making mistake after mistake which was annoying but at least the core story was still engaging. This is a thriller that keeps you wondering what will happen next especially sine it’s hard to guess what the characters will mess up next.

Overall, If this sounds like your cup of tea then you should check it out. There’s always room for more thrillers out there right? If this sounds like it might be a bit of a slog, then it’s time to shift gears back onto a more iconic one. At the very least this film will remind you that if you intent to hide or fake your death then you need to really stay out of the limelight entirely. That absolutely means no falling in love for a while I’m afraid.

Overall 6/10