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A Room With A View Review

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A Room With A View is one of those romance films that has so much drama you can only shake your head. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong and it’s mainly issues that the main characters bring about themselves. The romance here is definitely terrible all the way through and there is so much cheating going on that you forget who the protagonists are supposed to be. It really checks off all the wrong boxes all the way through.

So the movie starts with Lucy and her overprotective sister Charlotte trying to enjoy their hotel stay. Unfortunately they don’t have a room with a window and that causes a whole big fuss even though it really shouldn’t. A man named Mr. Emerson offers his room but Charlotte makes a big show of being rude to the guy because she figures that this is improper for some reason. Ultimately the heroines do get the room though and it turns out that Emerson’s son George likes Lucy. He makes a move on her in the fields which wasn’t very gentlemanly of him and Lucy puts some distance between them. There is a time skip and Lucy is now engaged to a disrespectful, condescending guy named Cecil but George figures he still has a chance. How will this play out?

There are a lot of issues here but first of all, George making a pass at Lucy while in the fields was definitely over the line. That was supposed to just be a chance for a normal conversation to get to know each other but he immediately went for the kiss. This is always one of the most annoying tropes. Yeah you probably want to show some initiative when you like someone but that means asking her out or throwing in some complements. Not immediately going for the kiss because 9 times out of 10 that’s going to end badly and even if it didn’t, it’s not the proper thing to do. There is no class involved with that.

It then gets worse when George pulls this stunt again while Lucy is engaged. At this point that is completely cheating and the problem is that George knows it. Basically George says that Cecil is wrong for her and so he is trying to break them up but that’s really not his place to say. You really have to stay your hand at this point because once someone is engaged then you have to respect that and George clearly doesn’t. This impacts the whole film because he is in a sense rewarded for this by winning in the end as you knew he would from the second the film started. That’s not a great moral and he is such a bad character that this is annoying.

Of course the film isn’t trying to be subtle here so Cecil is introduced as a really bad character too. For starters he is constantly insulting Lucy’s family and has total disdain for all of their family traditions and activities. He basically sneers at them all the time and you have to wonder how he and Lucy possibly got together. It would seem like she is only with him out of obligation and that’s not a good relationship either. So Cecil is awful and the film shows no attempts at hiding this but Lucy should have broken up with him first rather than cheating on the side.

So Lucy takes a lot of the blame here too for being too indecisive and letting others make decisions for her. Throughout the film one of the issues is that her sister Charlotte likes to make all of the decisions to “protect” Lucy but then she ends up betraying the heroine anyway. She tells Lucy’s darkest secrets to her writer friend to publish for the world and that’s not something that you can take back. It’s also why secrets are never worth it because if you tell one person then you may have just told everyone. You either hold it with you forever or it’s going to spill out and at that point it’s game over.

You couldn’t root for Lucy because she is a pushover the whole time. Then Charlotte is super unlikable the whole time too and just like that we’ve gone through virtually every character. I guess Mr. Emerson was okay but mainly because he was out of the loop the whole time and didn’t get to appear much. Otherwise he is trying to play matchmaker and it’s not for a great relationship pairing so that would have been really annoying otherwise.

The film loves its drama as the characters go across whole cities and states and somehow keep bumping into each other anyway. There is just no escape from this “destiny” or at least that’s what they would have you believe. That said, you cannot succeed if none of the characters are likable. Straight up it’s just going to be impossible to pull that off no matter how good or engaging the writing may try to be. At the end of the day you need a solid cast if you want to go far. Especially for a romance film since there is no fun soundtrack or dialogue to distract you.

I think a lot of movies also just miss the point of romance in general. A good romance should be one where it’s a relationship where both characters are happier than when they are alone. So if there’s always more drama, tension, and bickering then what’s really the point? There is not a single scene to show why Lucy even remotely liked Cecil. She can’t stand him and he just seems standoffish from the jump. You can tell he was created purely to get knocked down a peg by George and to lose the war so he’s just a waste of time.

Overall, A Room With A View is a film to avoid. The title along reminds me of how crazy it was to make a fuss about not having a window. Come on that’s not nearly as important as the characters were suggesting. I think Charlotte was just complaining to complain at that point or to get attention since she quickly tried to say no when the gentleman offered his room. It’s like there was just no winning at that point. Definitely a swing and a miss here.

Overall 3/10

On The Beach Review

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On The Beach has to be one of the most boring titles that I’ve watched. Seriously that’s the only issue with the film which is that it drags on and on for a super long amount of time. At no point in the adventure are you having a lot of fun. Now this is a very serious title so fun was always going to be tricky but then you have to have really likable characters to root for or something. Instead the film is really about everyone facing their imminent doom and how they deal with it.

The movie starts rather mysteriously. The world seems rather empty and there is a group in a boat just sort of drifting along. They are looking for something…but what is it? The film keeps this suspense up for a while but basically it turns out that World War III happened and the world is dying of nuclear fallout. It seems that there is no safe place in the world but Captain Dwight is trying to find some possible shred of hope. It just isn’t appearing though and slowly but surely he is watching everyone start to fade away. His family is likely dead as well but he’s not sure if he wants to rebound with a lady named Moira quite yet. There’s also another guy, Julian who likes her but with the end of the world coming in quick there isn’t a whole lot of time for that. How will these characters spend their last days?

In this film everyone is already defeated. There is seemingly no way to survive the radiation and after a point nobody even wants to try. The government is even handing out murder pills which will destroy you in an instant and a lot of people start taking them. Others start to end themselves in more creative ways like locking themselves in a car with the engine on or running off the road and exploding. That’s really where the film starts to lose you because after a point it’s really just a bunch of people committing suicide and that doesn’t make for the most engaging experience.

I would have liked the characters to have kept fighting until the bitter end. I know this film is quite old but surely someone could come up with a protective suit or something like that. Something to just keep them going a little longer and buy some time. Dying of radiation would certainly be a rough way to go so I get it. It’s why if we did ever have an end of the world event during my lifetime I’d want to be in the epicenter so it’s over quickly as opposed to getting dragged out. The reactions in the film are realistic so I’m not saying otherwise but it doesn’t make for great TV.

This movie is just made to be rather depressing all the way through and it succeeds in that. It just means that there are no real positives to enjoy either though. Then the first half is just slow as the heroes inspect different areas looking for radiation. They have to move really slowly through the ocean or while on land so they don’t trip. Because of this even a simple walk can take a very long time to get through and all the while you’re waiting for some excitement. Something to break the status quo and get some new energy in there. It doesn’t happen though.

Then the romance is also really weak. So Moira likes Dwight but part of the issue here is that Dwight did have a family. They are almost certainly dead by this point but he is really ready to move on so quickly? I just don’t like that. It seems like a pretty fast turnaround and it’s the end of the world. Why even start a new relationship when you are going to die shortly anyway? The ending just underscores this as they are not going to be together anyway so there was no point in even starting this. At best it just passes some time but then you’re paying a heavy price for that.

There are a lot of other areas we could have gone with this film that would be more enjoyable. It’s a classic prompt to ask someone what they would do if they knew they only had a few days to live. Of course that is usually assuming that you’re in a normal world so you say that you want to eat a lot of good food or things like that. In this case mostly everything is gone since most people are dead but you could still have some fun events. Like the quick race we got, that was fun enough. I’m not saying the film has to be upbeat but there are a lot of fairly lighthearted things you can do with this premise before going all grim dark at the end. That would have made the film a whole lot more enjoyable and definitely would have ended up being more fun.

Instead the only real dialogue we get here is characters debating the pill. Naturally it was a very controversial conversation for one family since that is a stressful choice. I think the wife and kid should have just gone with the father on the ship though. By this point do the usual formalities really matter? Moira went on the ship as she pleased until the end where she had to stay (Which didn’t make any sense). So just go on and at least be together until the end. I don’t really get the logic of splitting up when the end is so near but I guess it ups the drama.

Overall, On the Beach is a film that I highly recommend avoiding. It is always interesting to see how far back people had been thinking about the possibility of World War III. It’s something that will likely always loom over our heads but so long as everyone has nukes, at least we can have mutually assured destruction which beats this kind of apocalyptic setting. There isn’t really any reason to watch this one though because it doesn’t have any fun with the premise and if you wanted to see an abandoned world with the characters having nothing to do….well then I guess you can watch this film. Otherwise there is really no incentive here. It just drags on forever.

Overall 2/10

Hard Time Review

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Hard Time is one of those movies that is basically all about a day on the job as an officer in a corrupt environment. As the film is going it hits all of the usual beats you would expect it to while throwing in some twists to keep things fresh. It’s a fairly by the numbers film with some good action and a solid story behind it. Ultimately it is held back a bit by some uninteresting characters and a generally weak introduction. The movie mainly picks up once all of the big players like the mob start to take an active role but can take some time in getting there.

The movie starts with Logan on graffiti watch which he finds boring and a bit insulting since he is used to the tougher cases. Unfortunately for him he has gotten into some trouble over the years for getting a little too aggressive and violent in in some instances. Well he spots an active crime in progress and quickly steps in to help but after a long chase scene one of the crooks shoots the other one and escapes. Fortunately Logan prevented him from stealing the cash but now he is apparently the lead suspect in the shooting and is being taken to court. He’s going to need his attorney to really bring her A game to beat the charges but they don’t really get along all that well from prior encounters. She doesn’t much like the cops and he doesn’t much like attorneys. They’ll have to put these differences aside for now but ultimately the best way for Logan to ensure his innocence is to find the people who were actually behind this and bring them to justice. He better do this quickly as the mob is after him as well.

You may wonder how Logan could possibly have been framed for shooting the one crook. Well, during the chase there was a point where he finally caught up to the crooks but badly underestimated them so they stole his gun and his handcuffs. Unfortunately Logan did not share this with his attorney which comes back to bite him later on and it also makes the whole thing a lot more realistic when you consider which gun was used to murder the crook with. This was definitely all on Logan since you really do need to tell your attorney everything if you intend to stand a chance in court. A single omission or lie can completely turn the tables against you and at that point it is very hard to gain the upper hand again.

It was also rather sloppy of him to let the crooks go there. Basically he had them at gun point and told them to have their hands against the wall. Usual strategy so far so good. Where he went wrong is he gets in close to shove one of them and starts to talk tough so the other one just backs up and lands a kick on Logan. Once he’s down then it’s easy for the two to overpower him from there. This is a common mistake they make in the movies. If you have a gun then the whole point is to stay at mid range. If you get within arms reach then you are basically asking them to make a move. It’s definitely not worth it and will get you killed every time. If anything Logan is super lucky that they didn’t finish him off there. It’s not like they planned to frame him either, they just figured murdering him would increase the heat so they were better off running.

In general Logan does look good during this film, it was just the opening that hurt him a lot. He goes on to defeat multiple attackers even after he was tied up and he never really looks back. Logan is a tough fighter to bring down and he knows it. Perhaps that’s why the confidence got to his head but by the end he is taking numerous opponents down and showing why he was the best in the business. He also figures out the truth of what happened before anyone else which helps him a whole lot in the climax. His partner Charlie would have been really doomed without him.

Now as I mentioned above there is a lot of corruption in this town as the mob owns just about everyone. This becomes a bit of a subplot later on and the film wants to make sure you don’t forget it so we get a lot of flashbacks. That’s one thing which is overdone in this film. We don’t need a lot of flashbacks in any movie because you should remember what you just saw unless it was a really small detail that you want to point out. This one has flashbacks to moments over and over again which didn’t need it. The film’s not as confusing or complex as they may have thought it was. Ultimately the cast is also small so you shouldn’t have a problem remembering any part of the movie. Just saddle up and you’re all set.

Logan’s partner Charlie isn’t quite as impressive as a character. He let himself get really out of shape which is dangerous in his line of work. The guy doesn’t really end up helping Logan much at all. He does talk tough with just about every character in the film but considering that he would likely lose every fight, it wasn’t as impressive as it could have been. I wasn’t giving him any major thumbs up at least. I actually liked the rookie a lot but unfortunately he didn’t get to appear all that much. He was very confident in himself though and that goes a long way.

I really liked the idea of the mafia showing up to weigh in and complicate matters. It helped make the world feel more alive even if I was surprised that they didn’t do more at the very end of the film. The climax was definitely very explosive though. It’s almost tragic in a way because the body count gets a little high and you have to wonder if all of these guys are villains or some are just getting manipulated. If the latter is the case then that is really a rough way to go out. You have to figure that some of the villains probably got away in the end just by sheer numbers but on the whole it’s still a semi happy ending. Things may be tough for Logan as well with the court case. Technically that may not have really changed much even after the climax and then one villain also seems to get off rather easy. There was actually some decent humor at the very end though which did give me a bit of a chuckle.

Overall, Hard Time was a fun movie. It’s a fairly standard action title all things considered but it delivers with the fights and a solid main character. You’re invested in seeing how it all ends and we get a lot of action near the end. I’ll be interested in seeing how the sequels play out but at the end of the day this is a film which delivers even if it is fairly unknown compared to most other big titles. You want action and it delivers so it accomplished the objectives it set out to achieve.

Overall 6/10

Summer and Smoke Review

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Summer and Smoke is about an old school romance that doesn’t go so well this time. See, you’d usually expect the classic trope of the innocent girl who falls for the bad boy to play out in a certain way. She gets him to be a little less wild and he gets her to live it up a little and it’s happily ever after. This takes a more serious look at how this would typically play out and while it does end up being a lot more realistic, it’s definitely not what I would call a feel good movie. It drags on a lot and since none of the characters are particularly likable that puts you in a rough spot right out of the gate.

The movie introduces us to Alma as a child who didn’t get along great with the other kids. She was always off on her own but she did like John who was fairly popular. John was definitely a tough kid already by that point and didn’t have time for the kind of serious romance that she was looking for. Many years have passed by and things haven’t changed. John lives a very problematic lifestyle and is always leaving town on adventures while Alma has been the dutiful daughter who takes care of her sick mother and keeps living on the straight and narrow. With John back in town Alma had been hoping they could finally get together but that isn’t working. Will she have to descend to his level for them to get together or is there a better way?

Of course the answer to this should clearly be that if you have to lower your level to be with someone then that’s not worth it. A true relationship can only blossom when you are being yourself and are with someone where you are comfortable doing that. If you feel like you need to change yourself then that’s already a massive red flag. Additionally John isn’t someone who could possibly be trusted to have a stable relationship with. Throughout the film he is involved in lots of different affairs and it is clear that he likes to play the field. He always goes for the most attractive girl in the group and then moves on when someone even more beautiful arrives. It’s a very clear pattern even if Alma tries to deny this.

Now you absolutely can feel bad for Alma. She has had a rough go of it as her mother has lost a significant portion of her mind so she acts rather crazy on a day to day basis and her father can be quite strict. So she has grown up in a way where she had to be very mature from a young age which didn’t help her when it came to mingling with the rest of town. Even her high education ends up getting in the way a bit as others think she is looking down on them. Ultimately it can be hard to make friends but if she was less obsessed with John then perhaps she could have found someone. She does have a few friends including one guy who likes her but she only really has eyes for John in the end.

Ultimately by the time she is ready to make a move like that it is just too late and it’s still probably for the best. The way her character ends in the film is not very satisfying though. I would instead argue that the ending is pretty bad since she is basically settling for someone else as she is desperate to have any man and she’s not thinking straight. An affair born out of desperation just isn’t going to end up working out. Ironically John probably has a more stable future ahead of him. Hey it’s great that it worked out but it can also be a bit annoying to see considering how much trouble he had caused beforehand. It’s just hard to forget that.

He’s also what brings the film down quite a lot here. See this is a very dramatic romance film. It’s not part comedy so you are going to have a lot of serious plots here like John’s decisions causing his father to get shot and a lot of feelings are hurt all the time. So by the time he has his offscreen redemption after a long timeskip you’re just tired of this guy already. You just don’t even want to see him because you know just seeing the guy is going to get you really annoyed. That’s just the kind of character he is. It’s like watching someone destroy a town and then show up a few years later to build a house. It’s great that he got his life back together but you just would rather he do it somewhere else.

The only really solid character in the whole film has to be the young lady who shows up at the end to deliver one last blow to Alma. Technically this girl doesn’t know any of the backstory so at no point does she have any malicious intentions. It does feel like there is a bit of an age gap there but ultimately she seems like the only character to be very nice with no ulterior motives so it’s easy to root for her. Everyone else can just be annoying.

I feel like the movie didn’t even need the plot about Alma’s mother. All it served to do was make the film a little more dreary and downcast with how Alma couldn’t even rest at home. The film already had enough of that so this was just throwing things over the edge. There’s also not a whole lot of fun to be had in the movie. You will barely find any real happy moments at all. I don’t count the crazy drunk parties John would have because that’s not the kind of happy moment I’m thinking about. You always see the negative connotations there. I’m talking about an actual lighthearted upbeat moment and those are rare. The closest may be when Alma and John go to the carnival and even then you know something bad is about to happen.

Overall, This is definitely a film that I highly recommend skipping. For starters it is a very long film. It drags on and on and on as the relationships keep going back and forth. The cast is weak and the story is annoying at best. The romances here are all awful so you’re not rooting for anyone to get together and the ending is really the big arrow to the heart. It ends things off on such a sour note and whether the relationship works or not, it feels like a pure desperation rebound which is never what you want to see here. There’s just nothing wholesome about that. Maybe the film should have taken place in the winter instead so as to work as a metaphor about how hard all of their hearts became by the end.

Overall 2/10

The Ghost of Sierra de Cobre Review

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It’s time for a very old school supernatural type film that works really well. It’s definitely one of the biggest examples of a slow burner that you will see so I definitely suggest keeping that in mind. That said, if you really enjoy the slow build up and anticipation then this will be right up your alley. Particularly in the first half there is a lot of walking around and examining the backgrounds as the hero has to decide whether or not this adventure is supernatural or not.

The movie opens up with Nelson being hired by a lady named Vivia. Basically her husband believes he is being haunted by a ghost and Vivia needs Nelson to either get rid of the ghost if it is real or prove that it is all in Henry’s imagination. This is right up Nelson’s alley so he agrees but no worries he won’t charge anything if it turns out that the whole thing is a scam. That’s awful generous of him at least. Nelson is incredibly confident but is this confidence really earned or is he about to be in for a rude awakening? Only time will tell here.

I do love how sure of himself Nelson is though. You really do need to have that kind of confidence in this business or you’re going to be in trouble. No mind games are going to work on him, that’s for sure. This guy has been around the block a few times after all. If anything his only weakness is that he can be extremely slow to react to things. Like if a door is closing it will absolutely close all the way before he really notices. Still, he will be ready for a fight and that’s what counts although in his line of work things will rarely get physical. What’s a ghost going to do here right?

The first half of the film is when the movie is at its strongest as we walk through a rather huge crypt and the whole thing seems very spooky. It doesn’t go very well for Vivia as she is seemingly attacked by a ghost and panics but it is hard to deal with the supernatural so I’ll cut her some slack. Vivia is confident in her own right as well like when she declared that she would go back into the room by herself just to prove that she wasn’t scared. It may have backfired but the intent was on point. She’s a very mysterious character as well and the instant she appears a part of you absolutely has to write her down as a suspect. Surely she would be in a good position to be fooling Henry into thinking ghosts were around right?

Then you have the maid who is rather frightening. So much so that even though she works for Vivia, she scares her just by approaching. That scene near the beginning was probably the funniest moment in the whole film because out of context it just seems so crazy. Presumably the lady has been here for a while so why should her appearance startle Vivia so drastically? It’s not like she ran into the room either, she just calmly walked inside. I guess those things just happen sometimes. The maid actually gets a whole origin story taking place in the village with a case that could have been its own movie.

Basically Nelson was there as well on a prior case and the village wanted him to find out what evil sprit was there and to exorcise it. Unfortunately he determined that there was nothing supernatural there and it was a human behind the poisonings and trouble. This didn’t fly very well in the village and so Nelson was considered to be a scammer and the maid certainly felt that way to this day. So Nelson has to work at a slight disadvantage with Henry here since his reputation is partially shot. Unfortunately Henry is also completely convinced that there is some kind of spirit going on here and doesn’t give Nelson a great chance to make his case.

One detail I should add here is that the spirit appears to be Henry’s dead mother so that’s another wrinkle to consider. Why should she want to haunt him? Still there are a lot of things going on that are hard to explain conventionally. He receives calls from the phone installed by the dead mother’s grave and nobody should have the code for this line to work. Additionally the ventilators make sounds and then Vivia seems to get possessed at one point.

Yeah there may be more to this than meets the eye. There is also a lady who randomly shows up at one point and talks with Nelson but she vanishes soon after. I suspect if this series had kept on going as a TV program or a movie series she would have been a recurring character because otherwise that was the most random part in the movie. The writing is on point and the pacing is good so you have all the makings of a solid movie right here.

I would say the film’s only weakness is that after the first half it never captures that same spooky atmosphere that it did in the original. See, at first you’re jumpy like the leads because everything is cloudy and mysterious. Vivia waiting for Nelson in the dead of night while in the middle of the cemetery is spooky in itself because clearly she isn’t nervous about being out that late at night. The cars also get conveniently stranded fairly far out from the estate so if Nelson has to leave at any point then it will be more difficult than expected.

Then in the second half it’s more about the info dumps and while we still get strong dialogue from all the characters, it’s not very spooky. A lot of the scenes are in the daytime now and every character slowly loses their mystique. Maybe this was inevitable as we started to close out the case but I dunno it would have been cool to have kept this going just a little bit longer. Honestly having them get trapped in the crypt during the initial scenes could have been great and you have the whole film take place down there. That would be absolutely terrifying since nobody wants to be trapped in a crypt like that with someone they don’t even know.

Overall, The Ghost of Sierra is a pretty fun film. I do stress that you need to enjoy the slow burn kind of horror film here because it is fair to say that not a whole lot happens for a while. So there are going to be decent stretches of time where you’re sort of just waiting for something to happen and in a way the whole point is that you’re enjoying the atmosphere rather than the events that are going to happen. In that sense I feel like the second half fumbles a bit but it doesn’t lower this from being a pretty solid film either way.

Overall 7/10

Guarding Tess Review

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It’s time for a fun secret service comedy about how hard it can be to guard someone who doesn’t really respect you. Guarding Tess is a film I didn’t really know about beforehand but after seeing it I can definitely see the appeal. It’s a fun movie all the way through with a fairly small cast so it’s more about the banter. Doug really takes the hits in stride and even when he does inevitably have his blowup moment of standing up to Tess, he does it in a much more constructive way than most leads would. Ultimately he is a big part of why the movie is good.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Doug as a secret service guy who is really good at what he does. He used to even guard the president directly but unfortunately he is now stuck guarding the first lady to a previous president. He doesn’t find the job very satisfying or fulfilling and is really eager to get back to the more important jobs. Unfortunately on his last day when he is supposed to leave Tess contact the president and extends the service to another 3 years. Doug is not happy about this but if he declines then his chances of guarding the president again is pretty much 0. He needs to convince Tess to let him go but how will he do that?

Of course Doug didn’t like this assignment but clearly Tess liked him enough to want him to stay. Basically we find out that this was a power move to an extent as Doug was the only one who would hold his ground against Tess. At least to the degree that he could. See, the movie does a good job of showing just how helpless you are when you’re not in the union and serving someone who could get you fired at a moment’s notice. If Doug ever stands up to her too much then he will be next on the chopping block so it’s really not an easy move for him. He does his best though and Tess seems to take it as a personal challenge to try and break him.

Of course by the end she gets better with this but for most of the film she is absolutely just being as mean to him as possible. She is really spoiled and really just likes to do things her way even if it means forcing Doug and his men to break protocol whenever it suits her. Not the most generous thing to do eh? Well that’s basically her style. Ultimately it also means that she does the equivalent of crying wolf a whole lot which makes it extra tough on the team. They get humiliated in front of the local cops as well when she forces the driver Earl to take her away without the secret service in the car. Her tricks and pranks take a whole lot out of Doug.

It also makes the response time at the end a lot slower since they don’t know there is a real risk for a little while. While most of the film is a full comedy, it does suddenly get very serious near the end. We get a kidnapping and everything which did feel a little out of place but I’m always up for some action. The villains are all throwaway characters who we don’t learn much about. They’re just crazy I suppose. The villain who set everything up was definitely the worst one though as he made a lot of excuses at the time but still followed the mission. That just means he’s a bad guy but also spineless.

Doug really got to prove himself in the end though and show why he was a top secret service agent. He’s definitely someone who will do his best at all times. The standout character here had to be the President though. Whenever he ended up calling it made for a great scene. You always knew that Doug was about to be in a whole world of trouble. The president always talked tough and I really liked his mannerisms. He was an important guy and he knew it. Even when he was hurling threats, he always did them in a very subtle way so you couldn’t be exactly sure of what he was saying and then all of a sudden you knew that it was legit. Yeah he was definitely a lot of fun.

At the end of the day the film succeeds with how comedic it is. The setup is fairly unique and just works really well with Doug sort of living out his worst nightmare but trying to stay professional about it. I love all of the sarcasm used throughout the movie. He always has attitude about Tess’ orders and just has to make sure he does a good job of showing it or it’s all over. That’s something that he can’t really take lightly. Of course the rest of the agents love the gig because they’re being paid well to not have to do much at all.

It’s the difference between liking your job and loving it. When you like your job, you’re cool with just doing it and going home. If it’s easy then that’s all the better but Doug really loves his job and so he wants to be challenged and have to rise to the occasion. There is no challenge or skills to be honed on this mission and that’s really his big problem. It’s also what makes the comedy work since he’s so frustrated the whole time. Ultimately the climax could have probably been averted if he had stayed true to the book for just a bit longer. Ultimately though he gets to see the benefits of this guard detail as well and Tess lightens up so you have to imagine that things will be going much more smoothly in the future.

Overall, Guarding Tess is a pretty fun movie. The main dynamic between Doug and Tess is what really sells the movie. There is just a whole lot to unpack there and the amount of times Doug quite only to have to go back there was intense. It is certainly tough when the president himself is calling to put more pressure on you. I don’t think anybody really looks forward to receiving a threatening call from the President like that. It’s enough to make anybody real nervous right away. The film certainly shifts tones at the end but you should have a good time with both halves and this is one that I’d recommend.

Overall 7/10

Virtuosity Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more n

Virtuosity is one of those films that reminds you of the dangers of virtual reality. I still think we’re probably a good 20-30 years away from anything quite this advanced but hey if it ever does happen then I could see at least parts of this film being really realistic. You just know that the A.I. will be used in dubious ways almost right away. Honestly it’s the best argument against VR being a big thing because someone will immediately find a way to turn the pain sensors back on and just like that you are in a tough spot.

Well, the film opens up with Parker going through a training mission where he enters a computer world and has to try and take down an A.I. Parker was once a police officer but he murdered the killer who took out his family and is now serving hard time. This will help to reduce the sentence at least but the training doesn’t go well as SID (The A.I.) murders Parker’s partner and the lead barely gets out of there. It turns out that the training simulation wasn’t quite so safe eh? Well, SID breaks out anyway thanks to one scientist being a sucker and SID’s creator being a villain anyway. SID is now determined to torment Parker as much as possible. Why is it so personal though?

The film explores a connection with Parker and SID right away. The answer to this question becomes clear fairly early on and it’s really just a lot of bad luck for Parker. I mean the film probably would have been tough for him either way but the chips just happened to fall in a way where things were just as bad for him as they could have possibly have been. He’s already in jail which is pretty rough in itself and now having to deal with a powerful A.I. like this is just throwing extra salt to the wound. Not playing the game with SID isn’t an option either because the guy will hunt Parker down and frame him if that’s what it takes to keep the battle going.

Good luck trying to destroy SID as well because the guy has super strength and a whole host of supernatural abilities that put him above the rest of the rank and file. He can regenerate and move really fast too. In a way the film makes him just a bit too powerful because you know there is no way the heroes should be able to really do much of anything to him. It would just be hard to buy at that point but that’s just how it goes I suppose. For the most part this is more of a chase film than an action one but there are some fights and you may shake your head at those.

I do really like the visual effects used for the cyber world though. We don’t spend a whole lot of time there but the intro scene was very effective. You know that something is wrong right from the start with how everyone has the same kind of shirt on. Then the shooting starts and you realize this isn’t exactly the real world. I would have been cool with the whole film taking place in virtual reality to be honest even if it probably would have been tough on the special effects team. It’s why we need that Sword Art Online movie already but I guess we’re going to have to wait a long while for that one.

SID makes for an intense villain. The guy is completely insane but the thing is that he knows it. So he’s still really clever with his attacks. He just enjoys making everyone feel terrified and we get a whole scene where he creates music using people’s yells. That was certainly very twisted. The scene drags a bit too I would say. With a villain like this, you’re more interested in the banter with the main character as opposed to seeing him just terrorize the civilians who can’t fight back.

Parker is a good lead. He definitely had his share of trauma and baggage over the years. He doesn’t regret what he did to avenge his family by any means though but it does mean that he has had to put up with an awful lot in every category. It’s why he had to crush the first prisoner who tried to mess with him so that hopefully he wouldn’t have to get into any other fights after that. It’s really the rule of the jungle out there and if you aren’t the most powerful then you are going to be in a whole lot of trouble. He works well as the lead and never gets bitter about the whole thing either. At the end of the day he is still trying to save lives at every opportunity.

Madison is the main heroine here and she does well. She may tend to get in the way a little at first but by the end she is actively contributing and doing her best to help out. Her son ends up getting into trouble so she really has to take a big role in the climax. The climax is handled well with the elaborate trap used at the end and Parker having to use his past experience to deal with it. The voice clips were also a lot of fun as you hear some lines on loop and it ends up being memorable.

I was a little mixed on the film by the end because I really liked the premise but I think they could have done more with it. Of course you could do more with the virtual reality for sure but also more with the interactions. SID still kept his powers while in the real world somehow so I’d like to expand on that and see what else he could do. Giving him the memories and personalities of various serial killers was an unexpected move but it’s not a bad idea to really make this villain as terrifying as possible. The character cast is good too although for most of the movie I felt like the researcher got off easy. Yes most of the characters didn’t know that he planned this out but you’d still think that he would be getting some heavy blame here since this is his creation. Even if he hadn’t helped SID out, this was going to be inevitable after a while and every company needs a fall guy. I wanted more of corporate’s reaction to this.

Overall, Virtuosity was an interesting movie to be sure. It had its fun moments and it never dragged on. The way Parker’s family was bumped off was also an especially tragic one to really make him feel a lot of guilt. It was done tragically but without being overly violent which I thought was clever. The film can be a bit violent to be sure but it’s not as excessive as you may think and so it doesn’t take away from the overall story. I would recommend this if you are interested in seeing more of the virtual world.

Overall 6/10

Kiss Me Deadly Review

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Kiss Me Deadly is an interesting noir title in that you are effectively watching a villain as the lead. Not saying Mike is downright evil or anything but he is basically a shady guy who ends up getting tangled with the actual crime syndicate and that ends up leading to a whole lot of trouble. The story is good but it is another title that is held back by the main character. It can also get a bit gritty and gruesome for an old school noir title like this.

The movie starts off with Mike on a drive when he comes across a lady who is running for her life. She says her name is Christina and to drop her off at the next bus stop and then to forget her. However, if they don’t make it, then he must remember her. Unfortunately the two are captured by a group of villains who torture Christina to death and nearly bump Mike off too but they get sloppy and he survives the encounter. Mike has no idea what is even going on but he figures it has to be something big when he is questioned by the cops right away. The mysterious villains also start to threaten him into dropping the case so now he wants to look into it more.

Mike runs a bit of a shady business where he tries to find proof on if a husband or wife is cheating on the other. He has a secretary who takes care of the seducing while he begins to work on playing both parties against each other. It’s definitely not the most noble kind of work and the cops call him out on it but Mike doesn’t care. He will keep doing this so he can get more and more money as needed. This is one of the reasons why you just find it hard to root for the guy. His secretary Velda even basically begs him to let her stop doing this kind of work but he refuses which really tells you what kind of guy he is.

Now there are some fun parts to this. When the villains show up to intimidate him, Mike is able to respond in kind and doesn’t fold so easily. The guy makes threats of his own and has a lot of shady connections throughout the city. So that part is pretty neat and it makes for an interesting wrinkle into the mix but at the same time it just doesn’t erase the less desirable traits he has. It’s just too bad he couldn’t keep the tough attitude while beating up the enemies but still staying somewhat heroic. It would have really worked well. By the end he ultimately starts looking rather sad and defeated as he finally tells the cops that he was out of his depth. It wasn’t a great way for his journey to end.

The early torture scene was also really intense. Definitely not the way you expect to start this film off. For the most part it’s got a rather sullen atmosphere and it’s more about how everyone appears to be suspicious but it’s not generally all that dark or violent. Perhaps they wanted to start the film off with a bang but they definitely could have chosen a less gruesome way to do this. Additionally if you’re friends with the lead then you’re probably doomed but that’s usually how it goes.

The dialogue here is sharp as always though. I love all the veiled threats and how everyone is talking really tough. There is a lot of sarcasm thrown around and the fact that Mike is so tough does lend itself well to the banter. All of those things are good points within the movie. It definitely goes by rather quickly even though it is a long movie. It all feels like one well connected adventure and that element of the story, the lead having a lot of connections is one that they should bring back. Mike may be a questionable private investigator but he is still a PI so when the villains go after him it’s nice that he has some way to defend himself and figure out what is happening.

Meanwhile Velda definitely should have quit the business right away. Ultimately things are never going to go all that well for her in this business and so the sooner she gets out the better. Lily is an interesting character but again not one you would want to trust very much. She is always ready to put on the charm to try and get Mike to do what she wants but he’s not the kind of guy this will usually work for although he will enjoy the situation when it’s something he would have done anyway. She is desperate as she runs from the villains but that’s never really the approach you want to go with.

Mike’s friend Nick was a nice guy even though you knew he was doomed. I like that the guy always had Mike’s back at least and was eager to help. If anything Mike was using him since he didn’t really let Nick know just how dangerous this whole thing was. If he had been straight with Nick then things could have been different but Mike is all about using those who are close to him. Definitely a shame when you think about it.

The supporting characters were solid here. I liked the villain with the glasses who was always very polite but as one of the ringleaders of the villains you knew that he couldn’t be trusted. Definitely someone you had to be cautious with but the demeanor was pretty funny. Then there is the main cop who doesn’t get along with Mike at all. Their first impression was certainly lousy which didn’t help matters for either of them for a long while there. Still he was okay at his job. I think the cops could have ultimately done more on their end but it’s not like they had a lot of help either so they were on their own since Mike wasn’t cooperating.

The ending here definitely escalates really quickly though. The special effects for this were fun, it was like we suddenly entered a sci-fi movie or something. I wasn’t expecting that at all although in a way that’s why it worked. It just hits you like a sudden tank and that could have really tied in as a sequel with characters picking up the pieces. The film does work as another example of the viewer not knowing all the answers since we’re looking at things from the lead’s point of view though so I understand the appeal there.

Overall, I think a noir film that is basically villain against villain could be really good. The film would just need to lean into that more by having him be a full fledged villain. He certainly acts the part like when he shoves a drawer closed while someone’s hand is in it and slaps around a poor receptionist. This guy doesn’t play nice and won’t take no for an answer when he wants answers. You just need to do that without him sacrificing the main heroine’s dignity and I could also do without the torture. This ends up being a weaker noir title as a result and you’re better off skipping it for now.

Overall 4/10

Point Break (2015) Review

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Point Break is one of those films where I’m almost surprised that it got a remake. I mean most things get remakes eventually but I wouldn’t say the first film is one of the top ones that comes to mind when I’m thinking about a thriller. It just felt like a random remake but hey, it’s here so how did it fare? Well I wasn’t the biggest fan of the original and yet I would still say it edges this one out. It’s not a landslide victory, they’re both on around the same level but this feels like a slimmed down version with characters that aren’t as interesting. The only interesting thing here is the whole eco-warrior angle and that part isn’t fleshed out as much as you might expect.

The film starts off with Johnny Utah pulling off some great stunts once again but unfortunately it gets a bit too intense and his friend dies. He decides not to do the stunts anymore and becomes an FBI agent. Well, there are now a string of odd crimes happening around the world and Johnny notices a trend that everyone missed. The villains are attempting to complete the Ozaki 8. These are crazy stunts where nobody has ever managed to complete the whole set in their lifetime before. These crooks are accomplishing those feats while also robbing places and causing general mayhem which is the impressive part. The FBI agents don’t really buy into this theory though so Johnny is on his own when he goes over to prove this theory. If agent Pappas doesn’t think there is any promise after a short while he will pull the plug on this little operation. Can Johnny find these crooks?

Well, that might be the wrong question. See, Johnny finds them very quickly. That’s not really the hard part here. The hard part is that he quickly starts to hang out with them and doesn’t think they are so bad. In a way he wants to take them in peacefully and he also needs proof which will be difficult. It puts him in a tough spot and that’s also why you really don’t want to be an undercover operative for too long. The longer the mission goes on the more suspicious the villains are naturally going to get. So there is always a timer here.

I would also say that Johnny sure gets lucky a whole lot of the time. If the villains were smarter and made direct moves from the start then Johnny would have been doomed. He’s not exactly subtle with how he will vanish for a full day and then come back. He’s extremely suspicious with all of his little trips. Basically Bodhi at least figured something was up midway but instead of finishing Johnny off he plays along because he hopes to convert Johnny. Overconfidence? Yes absolutely, things would have gone a lot smoother for him if he just made Johnny disappear and that wouldn’t have been hard.

Johnny does have some street cred by being a former extreme sports guy and that at least was a god addition to the film. It actually makes sense to add to his cover and yeah it might be convenient but it also gives more reason why he wouldn’t be immediately distrusted at least so I can get behind that. This one has less of a focus on the surfing and in exchange it’s more like a decathalon as there are a bunch of different sports and activities being played here.

Ironically Johnny reduces the villains’ numbers by getting caught up in the moment and making things a little too extreme. His old habits kick in during a snowboarding level where one guy doesn’t make it. Bodhi and the gang aren’t too bothered since they figure it’s everyone’s choice to go on and that is true. I mean you’d probably still be rather guilty about the whole thing but I don’t think he’s wrong. At the end of the day when someone encourages you to do something, you (almost) always have a choice and so if you do go through with it, you can’t go blaming the other person.

So Bodhi and the gang’s intentions here are to save the environment and complete the stunts. Where this falls flat for me is that their goal doesn’t seem very focused and doesn’t seem to help the environment much at all. Johnny even calls them out for this by saying how they keep taking a lot of money and living the good life but when will they give back? Sure they occasionally give money to people but they don’t seem to be the selfless Robin Hood types that they claim to be. I would say Johnny is right on this, sure they were always going to be villains either way but showing more of how they actually helped the environment would have done a lot to make them more compelling as villains. I think it would have made a world of difference at least and they wouldn’t have been nearly as bland.

In general bland is probably how you would describe the film. It does have some good visuals and action scenes as they perform these extreme stunts but the actual story around that is so forgettable. Half of the conversations between the characters are about the environment and the world around them yet you don’t feel like they are actually saying much. It is a lot of dialogue without a whole lot of actual focus and that is the problem.

I also didn’t care for the main character much because to an extent I think the agents were right that he lost sight of his duties here. He gets distracted way too easily while trying to learn about them. I don’t feel like he really held back once the chips were down but he would have worked harder to stop them. I don’t think fitting in with the group was the most effective way to stop them and at the end of the day they are still big criminals. Even if Johnny sees that they are trying to do something good, it really doesn’t change the bigger picture. You have to stop them.

Now for the ending, it is going for an emotional vibe of course but I do think at this point Johnny is obligated to stop Bodhi. Basically the situation involves arresting Bodhi or letting him destroy himself. At least in the original you could see how Bodhi might have a chance if his skills were up to par but this time he went in a boat so it just felt like a suicide mission. I feel like Johnny has to quickly try and stop him here because there is no chance of success. Additionally Bodhi needs to answer for his crimes rather than getting to go out on his own terms like that. Sometimes death is the easy way out and this is one of those times. Johnny needed to hang in there and make sure this didn’t happen.

Overall, Point Break just feels a little unfocused and didn’t put enough attention to the plot. The stunts were on point but you can’t really make a whole film about that. You need a focus, some kind of overarching story to make it all work and this one didn’t really have that. The characters aren’t the best and I think the film thought that it was a lot deeper than it actually was. As a result the whole thing ends up being rather weak and I can’t say that I would really recommend it. It’s not bad but it’s just not very inspired. I would say to watch any Mission Impossible film starting with film 4 instead for some good stunts that are connected through an exciting plot.

Overall 5/10

Mothra vs Godzilla Review

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Mothra vs Godzilla is a classic film and should not be mixed up with Godzilla vs Mothra. They are too different films with very similar names but rest assured that we are talking about the original here. As for which is better, it’s been a long time so it’s hard to say but the new one may have the edge. This film is before Godzilla really got the power upgrades that made him into a famous Kaiju king so you can’t expect him to look quite as good. Mothra has a lot of plot armor here though so get ready for that.

The movie starts with a large egg washing up on shore and a business man named Kumayama quickly buys it. The guy was smart to deal directly with the local fisherman rather than waiting around and it paid off big time. He aims to open up an entire amusement park with his backer Jiro and they are going to be rich beyond their wildest imaginations. It’s a scheme that can’t go wrong..except what if something is in that egg? They are visited by a mysterious pair of twins who confirm that this is not a good idea. The villains will not be scared off so easily and so the twins have to work with Ichiro, Juko, and Miura to save the day. Will they be able to stop these rich guys?

One thing you will notice very quickly here is that the twins are unfortunately not very powerful. Don’t let their mysterious aura fool you they can’t really fight. They mainly are just here to wake up Mothra which is a good role in itself but one day I wish Mothra would give them some kind of super powers to fight back with. It would absolutely be a good upgrade that would really let them cause some damage here. Instead they end up nearly being captured.

As for the main heroes, we get a lot of banter with Ichiro and Junko. Junko is definitely a lot more aggressive and outgoing as she doesn’t mind standing up to the villains and taking her time with the camerawork. Unfortunately she isn’t very good at being a photographer and even forgets to turn off the lens once which frustrates her boss a lot. Meanwhile Ichiro doesn’t want to stir up any waves at first but gradually realizes that he has to do whatever it takes to save the island. Likewise the researcher Miura starts to help out more too and later on we have a whole newspaper battle although nothing deters the villains. Lets face it, they’re prepared to make billions off of this park so no amount of bad publicity was going to stop them.

In the end it’s all up to Godzilla as usual. Unfortunately this is probably one of Godzilla’s worst appearances. He doesn’t look very smart here as he trips at one point and gets stuck. He doesn’t really seem to know what’s going on beyond his pure instincts but what I will say for him is that he never gives up. There is a point early on where the government nearly takes him down for the count but they get too cocky and overload the machine. Given how effective it had been there is a real chance that they would have defeated Godzilla if they had kept on going. Human fans should saver this now because there is a chance that they will not be seeing another win like this anytime soon.

Of course what we are really here for is the big battle between Mothra and Godzilla. It’s a bit of a strange matchup because Godzilla is much more powerful physically and he has the overwhelming long range advantage. His atomic breath should also be able to instantly evaporate Mothra with a good burn so the deck is stacked against Mothra. You do see this at times with heroes going up against great odds but the difference is that Mothra is a massive target so she has no room to dodge and not much room to outmanuever the opponent either. So at the end of the day a comeback is difficult that way.

The reason why the fight doesn’t work is that they have to nerf Godzilla to try and convince you that he would lose. He forgets to use his atomic breath for most of the fight except in very short bursts which do not really do much of anything. If he kept this up from the start then Mothra couldn’t even get close and would lose right away. You could make the case that Godzilla wasn’t able to use it for long bursts back in the day and didn’t have the stamina for it yet. I have doubts on that but either way he would still win this round if he just moved a bit more. The Mothra larvae basically pin him down with a lot of string but he should have been able to easily get around that. He only loses because he basically doesn’t move at all which really hurts him here.

I still enjoy the fight because it is a kaiju battle but it was just hard to buy into. Godzilla should win this fight 10/10 times. It was just an off day for him. Meanwhile Mothra is doing her best to protect the kingdom so you have to respect that. She is definitely one of the most heroic Kaiju out there without a doubt. It’s good that the humans have someone that they can rely on at least even if it feels like the tribe wouldn’t help out ordinarily so you better hope that you get to Mothra or the twins directly. Otherwise Earth’s guardian may not help out.

The writing is solid and the film has a good amount of humor in there. The Showa Godzilla films always felt like part comedies with the human characters probably as a contrast to the monster battles. I think it works well enough here. None of the characters are particularly memorable but they’re not bad which is the important thing. The monsters show up before long and once the fights are here then you’re all set. It doesn’t quite have the hype of Godzilla vs King Kong but it soundly defeats the first two films without much trouble.

Overall, Mothra vs Godzilla is a pretty good film. The fight definitely comes across as cheesy since you can’t picture it ending the way that it did though. I feel like they could have just had Godzilla win and then walk away. Maybe that would be cheesy in its own way but you can also think of it from this perspective. Godzilla doesn’t really bother with humans until they start the fight in most instances. So he may be satisfied with defending his crown as the King of the Monsters and just leaving. I could totally see that working. Either way I would recommend checking this film out. It has aged well and you can’t go wrong with Godzilla adventures.

Overall 7/10