Tag Archives: Sci-Fi

Planet of the Apes (2001) Review

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Well, looks like it’s time to check out another one of the Ape films. I can’t say that I went in with high hopes after the first batch, but this is a reboot. With new directors comes new opportunities right? This one was a solid improvement over the last few as it managed to work on most of my big problems with it. That being said, it’s guaranteed to make you sleepy once you start watching it.

Captain Leo is at his space station when the commander decides to send a chimp into space. Leo protests this, but the commander won’t listen. The chimp doesn’t know how to use the controls so it slowly starts to fade away into the silence of space. Leo won’t allow that to happen so he hops into a pod and chases the little guy. Both of them fall into a portal, which leads to the far future. Apes have enslaved humanity and they now rule the world. Can Leo lead the resistance away from the apes or are they all going to die?

The plot is fairly similar to the first film, but with some improvements. For starters, Captain Leo is actually a likable character. He went after his monkey, which was the hero move and he was pretty cool about it. Unfortunately, he quickly starts to lose his edge once he is stranded on the foreign planet. Good things can’t last forever I suppose. He does stay defiant all the way through to the end though. He may not have been quite as tough as he was in the opening, but he is dealing with meta powerful apes so he has to be careful about how he operates. I dare the new films to think up a more likable character! I rarely mention actors, but it’s safe to say that the actor did a good job here.

Now, the main thing that you are likely wondering about is the animal violence right? After all, that’s what utterly destroyed all of the other Ape films. Well, you’ll be happy to know that it was significantly reduced from the other films. I dare say that this one has the least amount of it although I remember one of the old films being decent about it. Perhaps my memory has started to fade a little sooner than usual. It’s not completely eliminated though and you’ll also feel bad for the horses that are caught up in these petty wars. It’s a negative that is still around, but considering that this is a film about apes, Burton managed to take away as much of the animal violence as he could.

One part of the plot that felt a little like a plot hole were the cave dwellers. In the first few scenes, it seemed like the humans could not talk. They may not want the apes to know that they can talk, but there’s no way that they couldn’t utter a “Huwahhhhhh” or “Gwagggg” as they were being taken away. At least a “Help” at one point would have sufficed. No, they seemed to be totally mindless until they randomly started talking towards the end of the film. I’ll assume that this part simply wasn’t thought about very much as the writers just wanted to go through the plot already.

The ending is pretty epic. I love the concept although it could have been made even better. The film ending with Leo arriving on Earth where Birds have taken over the planet or something like that would have been cooler. As it stands, my take on the ending is that he’s in a parallel world. I don’t think he can be on the same Earth that he was in before because he is back in the past and yet things have not really changed. There’s no way that the past could have been altered from the future and the humans would have not lost so quickly and suddenly. It’s too bad that this didn’t get a sequel to surpass all my hopes and expectations…….or maybe it wasn’t.

One of the main problems from this film is that it will make you incredibly sleepy. As you’re watching the characters drone on and on about things that don’t ultimately matter, you will feel your eyes start to get a little heavy. As you try to keep yourself awake, you’ll slowly start to sink into the pillow that you have on the arm rest of your chair. Slowly, but surely, you will eventually fall asleep and only wake up as the film is ending. Such is the fate of all who eventually watch this film…in theory. It’s simply not very exciting at all and that really hurts how much you can actually enjoy it.

Also, you simply can’t save a bad concept no matter how good the execution is. Attack on Titan is an incredibly good example of this and I always love to use it. The anime played everything just about perfectly, but it still had to adapt the manga and that was the problem. No matter how likable they make Leo or how much they try to get rid of the animal violence, you simply can’t fix the film when it’s using this plot. There will always be some animal violence as long as the apes are the villains. There will always be the human enslavement plot that is not fun to watch because it’s part of the plot as well. That’s why the plot has always been known as a very important part to the film because it can destroy a film just as easily as it can make the title really cool.

Well, we’re getting a lot closer to the latest Apes film continuity, which is supposed to be the best yet. I have my doubts as the trailers did not look very good, but I suppose that you never know when a film will end up surprising you right? I’ll likely be seeing them soon or at some point in the future and then you can count on a review. We’ll see if it ends up topping this one or fading away.

Overall, Planet of The Apes really gave its all into making this film a success, but it simply didn’t work for me. I appreciate the effort though and the animal violence is noticeably reduced, but it’s simply not enough. Leo also had a great start as the main character and then he started to become more generic and less impressive. None of the apes are likable or interesting. You’ll really think that you’ve seen them before because they are all essentially cardboard cutouts of the original apes from the older films. We have the nice scientist/royalty member who wants to live in harmony with humans and her scared husband who is afraid for his life. Then there’s the main villain who wants to take control of the clan. Seriously, you’ve seen this all before so nothing is new on their side. There’s only so much that you can do with this plot after a while. If you want to see a film about creatures deciding to defeat humanity, I recommend watching Future Card Buddyfight 100. The monsters decide to take things into their own hands this time!

Overall 4/10

Source Code Review

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It’s time to look at one of those films that you may have heard of. It’s certainly possible since it was in theaters for a while, but at the same time, I wouldn’t be surprised if you just missed it. Source Code is a pretty interesting film and I thought that it was a fun ride. Reliving the same 8 minutes over and over again is always a fun plot. (It’s unique as far as the 8 minutes goes, but not when you consider the reliving plot itself) We saw that kind of plot in Edge of Tomorrow recently so let’s see how this worked out back in the day.

Captain Stevens was in a war and he was leading his troops through a pretty tough ordeal. Somehow, he is now on a train very far away from the war in Afghanistan. Chicago may be a nice city, but Stevens isn’t ready for a vacation. The plot thickens when he finds out that this is actually a virtual world. The government wants him to find out who bombed the train so that they can find him in real time before he sets off some more explosions. The government is being pretty evasive about what this program actually is, but Stevens doesn’t exactly have a choice in the matter. They keep on sending him back whether he wants to go or not. He may as well solve this case and save some lives then right?

To say that the situation isn’t very good for Captain Stevens would be an understatement. He doesn’t know what happened to his men and he’s not given a breather either. He seems like a nice guy for the most part and he takes things a little less seriously than usual because he knows that it’s all virtual. So, he’s not a bad character and he’s actually a likable lead. That being said, I did find him to be very slow on the uptake during some of the scenes. They will tell him that he’s inside the virtual world and then he’ll still wonder what’s happening. He constantly asks to speak to his father (An army person) or if he can get briefed on the situation, but after a while he should realize that these guys are not going to help him. These guys are only here on business after all. The main character clung to the belief that he could save everyone in the memory for quite a while and he just seems to reject reality at times. (The film hints at parallel worlds every time the main character does something, but I don’t buy that. These are memories and the only thing that the hero should be able to alter is the world in his mind. So, that text at the end? I’m just going to assume that this is still his mental world. This is out of context so you won’t know enough to be spoiled!)

We get quite a few twists so I naturally won’t spoil them. It’s handled pretty well and you’ll definitely understand once they say what the real situation is. I personally thought that Stevens had been captured by the villains and was being tricked, but it turns out that my guess was actually wrong this time. Scarier things have happened I’m sure, but that was pretty shocking.

One question that I had with the film was whether reliving 8 minutes would actually take 8 minutes in real time. The brain moves much faster than the body so I imagine that experiencing 8 minutes of memory would only take a few minutes. That being said, it is experimental technology so I can definitely let that slide. Although, the film enters into plot hole territory when the main character gets off the train during one of his survival attempts. We see the explosion and he still gets to live for quite a bit longer until the train hits him. It could also just mean that the explosion simply cuts him short on the normal attempts and he actually should have had more time. It’s debatable I suppose.

Another part of the film that could stretch your imagination a little bit is why the government thinks this will actually work. Even if Stevens finds the bomber, what if the organization sends a different bomber this time. The government seems positive that there is only one man pulling the strings, but they did evacuate the whole city so this seems like a very serious situation. If this villain has planned things so well, it’s safe to say that it won’t be very easy to catch him. Things play out pretty conveniently for the government, but it’ll still make you wonder.

The government does look pretty corrupt as per usual. That’s pretty sad for their fans, but at least there is one government agent who seems to be pretty responsible. She sacrifices a lot to help out at the end. In contrast, Steven doesn’t have to sacrifice much since he’s in his memory. He even gets to meet a friend and the ending is pretty upbeat for him. It’s a pretty good ending that I didn’t think left much room for a sequel and was satisfying for just about all of the charcaters involved. Things will get dicey for the heroic agent in the real universe, but at least we have the memory one to fall back on.

Overall, Source Code is a pretty enjoyable film. It’s a pretty simple thriller/mystery that never loses sight of itself as the film goes on. We don’t get any wasted scenes or parts of the film that drag on. You’ll never be looking at your watch because the on screen action is engaging. There may not be a lot of fight scenes, but we do get some action and the main character is a nice change from your typical lead. He was in the army so he knows how to fight and he is always ready to take command of the situation. I definitely recommend this to Sci Fi fans and to anyone who wants to watch an interesting film. If this does end up getting a sequel, it’ll be interesting to see how it’s handled. I’m assuming that it will be about the project and the government will try to get someone else involved, but we shall see. Either way, I doubt that it can beat the original.

Overall 7/10

2010 The Year We Made Contact Review

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“It’s full of stars” is something that you probably said as you finished 2001: A Space Odyssey a while back, but little did we know that the line would be used to death in this film. It’s probably said like 5-10 times in the film. No worries, it’s a decent line….but it doesn’t really mean anything. Think of it as a red herring and then back away to the plot. This film plays is straight as opposed to the last one and it’s actually a decent film. It was much better than I could have hoped and it fixed just about all of the problems from the first film.

For starters…well, let’s talk about the plot first. Dave and his crew died/vanished so now Earth is sending in a new fleet. The Americans were slacking off a little this time so Russia builds the spaceship first. This means that three Americans have to join them on the journey. They are heading to where the black coffin was so that they can find the ship and get some answers. Once they restore Hal 9000, everything should be peachy..right? Let’s just say that the aliens are not done yet!

First of all, this film has no animal violence. That’s already a huge improvement from the first film. The start of this movie was so much more interesting that it was almost criminal. In the 5 seconds that 2001 needed to make me dislike the film, I was already getting ready for an epic adventure here. The difference between the two films is simply astounding and I’m proud of the fact that this film dared to be different from 2001. The beginning is very interesting because it plays out like a video game. We don’t know what happened to the previous crew, but the dialogue and pictures as pretty off so you suspect that aliens must have been involved.

To be honest, this is the kind of film that may be even more interesting if you had not seen the first film. The reason is that the beginning gets even more intriguing when they mention that the last line was “It’s full of Stars” before the hero vanished. That really hints that something major is going to happen. Unfortunately, the film drops the ball there, but we’ll get into that in a moment.

The film still doesn’t have the problem of being dragged out. A lot of the scenes simply last a little longer than they should and it’s noticeable. The dinner scene is definitely guilty of this as well as most of the space scenes. Even the beginning as the film recaps the last one, the text goes a little slower than necessary. Of course, it’s not nearly as bad as it could have been so this isn’t much of a negative.

After watching this film, I’m confident that the black coffin shaped objects are spaceships. The film alludes to this in one of the scenes as they believe that the aliens are warning them away from the planet. When you attempt to land on the object with hostile intent, then they simply blast you away with a cool energy blast. At the end of the film, all of the black objects head to one of the planets and the aliens claim that they will be peaceful so long as we never try to set foot there. I trust them about as much as I can throw the aliens, but there’s not much that the humans can do at this point. That being said, in the after ending scene, we see that one of the objects has stayed on Earth. Looks like the Extinction of humanity may be sooner than we had figured eh? It’s always a little sad to see the humans look so outmatched, but it’s not as frustrating as usual since we don’t actually see the aliens kick them around.

That being said, it is also pretty sad that we don’t get to see the aliens. We only see one of their people and it is the newly awakened Dave who comes to greet the heroes. It seems like his mind has been absorbed by the collective so he still remembers everything, but he is not actually Dave. His persona tries to emerge several times, but he has lost this battle. He definitely shouldn’t have decided to use the portal eh? His fate was certainly not pleasant, but at least he warns the heroes to leave. He was allowed to by the rulers….or so he says.

It’s fun to see Hal 9000 back on the big screen. He still seems like a likable character and the plot twist is pretty interesting. Was he really a bad guy? The film implies that he isn’t, but it’s still pretty intriguing to think about based on what happened last time. I like to think that he is still evil and he just let the humans live this time, but it’s definitely something to think about.

You may be wondering why I have not really mentioned the humans yet. Well, that’s because they really are not of much consequence this time around. The human sub plot simply isn’t very interesting and nothing really happens. The Russians and Americans learn to team up while they are stranded in space, but none of them ever become really good characters. I liked the overweight politician from the beginning, but then he was written out of the film before he really got to make some waves. The main guy isn’t bad, but he’s just pretty generic. Hal’s creator is someone that you probably don’t want to trust and the Engineer is afraid of heights. They’re not a bad crew and they do manage to avoid the romance angle, but that’s about all that I can say for them.

We don’t get any intense visuals like last time, but it’s certainly worth the trade off. Not a lot happens during the film, but it’s a pretty interesting ride while you’re experiencing it. It’s not the kind of film that I would care to watch again, but it wasn’t a bad film. It really made no mistakes and the one reason why I can’t give it a positive rating is because there wasn’t much to it. Not doing anything wrong can be tough, but it’s also important to do something right as well. Throwing in some actual aliens or some more likable characters could have helped push this to a 6. Still, compared to the first film, a 5 definitely isn’t bad.

Overall, 2010 is a pretty good sequel. It’s one of the few sequels that can say that it easily smashed the original. You have to admit that this is serious bragging rights when you really think about it. The atmospheare of the film is also a lot more intense than 2001’s as it feels like a horror/thriller at some points. When the aliens are typing “All your worlds…” a certain line will likely come to mind. Unfortunately, what they wrote wasn’t very cool, but it was still a moment where you may have to take a step back from the intensity of the film. I recommend checking this out if you want to see a dialogue based sci-fi film. It can be interesting just don’t expect the aliens to show up. On the other hand, I would sooner recommend renting Centipede Infestation for the Wii so that you can play it over the weekend.

Overall 5/10

Edge of Tomorrow Review

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This film is definitely way more recent than some of the others that I’ve reviewed as of late. (With the exception of Assault on Arkham) It’s time for a good ole 2014 film and this one looked pretty good when I saw the trailer in theaters. I’m always up for an alien invasion film and it looked to have the exciting explosions from Battleship while being a few pegs ahead in terms of writing and character development. It was about as good as I expected although it was also a little lighter on the action than I had anticipated as well.

William Cage is the protagonist of this story and he didn’t really want to get involved in the big battle against the alien invaders. He was happy to report on what was happening, but getting on the frontlines was for the soldiers. Unfortunately, he upsets an army general who forces him to go to the frontlines and things can pretty tough for him from there. He dies. Luckily, Mr. Cage managed to take out a Mimic first, which has allowed him to enter the timestream.

To provide some more background on this, the alien leader has a complete mastery over time. It’s why the aliens are crushing the heroes so easily. Whenever one of the alien Mimics is destroyed, it can go back in time to relive the day and to inform the other aliens of what is going to happen. So, by destroying one of them, Mr. Cage now acts as a Mimic and he gets to relive the day whenever he is destroyed. It’s really not a bad deal, but dying all of the time can be pretty sad as well. I have some issues with this part of the plot, but I’ll get to that later. Mr. Cage realizes that his only way out is to end the invasion once and for all so he will have to locate the war hero (Vrataski) in order to vanquish the aliens once and for all.

Okay, let’s talk about the parts of the plot that I find a little hard to believe. One is that nobody has ever destroyed a Mimic at close range before. I find that really hard to believe considering how long the war has been going on. From the start of the film, they act as if the war has been going on for years and years. America didn’t even join in at first, but we hit pretty hard when we did go in. So, there should be other humans that have obtained this ability. By “more” I’d say at least 10-100. The odds of finding a Mimic are apparently 1/1000 or something like that, but that’s not a terrible odd when you’re involved in a war.

Another dicey part is the hiding place of the master alien. Let’s just say that it picked a very iconic and legendary position to set up shop. How could nobody go to this area during the entire war? It’s not very feasible to think that the alien can easily escape and its travel speed is likely very slow. The heroes were definitely slacking off here and the governments should have been on top of this.

William Cage is a pretty good main character. Unfortunately, he still does suffer from the negatives that plague most mainstream leads. No matter how serious the situation is, he quickly thinks of romance and comes up with some terrible reasons to try and jumpstart this. It’s played for laughs of course, but it certainly doesn’t help his case. I do like how he immediately resorted to blackmail though since that felt pretty “American.” No offense intended of course, but he just did what seems natural to many people at his level. Why risk his life for our planet? He eventually learns how to fight though and he does a pretty good job of taking on the enemies. He’s a little slow on the draw at first, but he becomes a pretty capable warrior by the end. The film takes place over a span of around 1 year based on the amount of days that he had to relive. That’s a lot of time and it’s a wonder that he kept it together. Cage is a pretty decent lead, but I guess he’s pretty interchangeable. I’ll take him over James Bond or Jack Sparrow though and that’s already a pretty solid step up. For the most part, he really he is a solid character, but he’ll strike you as just being very generic.

Ms. Vrataski is the hero who has slain many aliens and she is supposed to be virtually unstoppable. There is a plot twist about this that really eliminates most of her reputation though. I suppose that a figure head is always necessary to win the big battles, but she’s only pretty good at fighting. I wouldn’t call her legendary or exceptional. Especially at one point towards the middle of the film where the aliens continue to best her. I have to say that she was pretty underwhelming although you may have already surmised that from this paragraph. She tries really hard to be the next fan favorite character who’s as emotionless as Mikasa or Sai, but it just doesn’t work here. I assume that she has some kind of tragic past, but the film (thankfully) doesn’t explore this and you just wonder why she’s so mean to the main character. I would be too if I was in her position, but then she needs to back it up a little more while on the field. We also can’t forget how she left Cage to die in one of the first scenes. She’s just not hero material.

It’s time to mention another part that I found hard to believe. A lot of those in this film, but keep in mind that it’s an alien invasion film that deals with time travel and both of those genres already tend to have this “weaknesses”. Mr. Cage knows way more than he should. I don’t see how he would ever learn about someone’s true name through their origin. Most of the other pieces of intel that he acquires off screen are pretty believable, but at the same time it is still hard to picture for others. Even knowing so much about the Secretary was a little dicey at this point. Reliving a day an infinite amount of times is great, but there’s still so much that you can do in a day. Would someone really trust you with their ultimate secret after a single day? I don’t think so.

Aside from that, the film does a good job of avoiding the mainstream film holes. No animal violence, and the slight bits with romance are purely through dialogue and nothing is shown. That’s always a good thing and the action is pretty fun without being over the top in a negative way like we’ve been seeing recently with blockbusters.

The fight scenes aren’t a huge focus of the film, but they were very well done. The aliens are actually some of the fastest creatures that we’ve seen in this kind of a film. I’d actually take one of these against a Xenomorph, Predator, Chitauri, or a number of others. They don’t typically use projectiles, but they’re incredibly fast. If anyone’s seen Attack on Titan, they use a similar spin move to Levi’s. If you haven’t seen it, just picture a top once you spin it. Then imagine that the aliens can keep up this speed as they slice and dice throughout the war. I really liked these guys! The aliens are strategic and very deadly. It’s hard to imagine the army winning a single battle, but the film actually does provide us with an acceptable answer to that question.

Overall, Edge of Tomorrow is a pretty good alien invasion film. I would have liked to have seen the actual battle against the aliens some more or maybe our government leaders and how they plan out their next strikes. I think Cage’s plot was actually less interesting than those would have been, but it’s still good for what it was. We learned that you never trifle with the government as seen in one of the early scenes. I do applaud Mr. Cage for attempting to run though since at least he didn’t go down without a fight. I recommend Edge of Tomorrow as a solid alien invasion film, but don’t go in expecting this to be as thought proboking as other titles in its two genres.It’s a fun summer blockbuster and that’s good enough for me.

Overall 7/10

Transformers Classified The Complete Mission Review

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It’s time to review the Transformers trilogy that came out a while back. These three books all take place in the film continuity, which can make longtime fans groan. Not to worry, you wouldn’t even notice if not for a few key references. None of the characters are quite as bad as the movie counterparts and the writing is certainly a lot better. This feels like a real Transformers adventure and it was a pretty fun ride from start to finish.

The first book is mostly the set up as we meet the Autobots and get to see them take down a few Decepticons. After that, we shift to Kevin’s point of view. He can’t get any homework done at his friend’s place due to a party that is going on so he heads off. He meets up with an Autobot named Gears who is currently looking for a special location to protect it from Decepticons. It ends up being hidden under a real government base so Kevin agrees to tag along so that he can finally get in on some action. Things get tricky when a Decepticon named Reverb tricks Ratchet into believing that he’s an Autobot and that they have to destroy Gears. This will definitely test the bonds of friendship between Autobots and Kevin will have to move quickly if he wants to survive this!

The second book gives Duane a bigger focus as he realizes that he needs to get closer to the heroes. He plans for his minions to steal some super tanks that a company has developed so he leads the heroes on a wild goose chase onto the next special facility. It actually turns out to be pretty useful and he works on earning Kevin’s trust while Reverb and the Decepticons attack the tanks and the Autobots. Can the heroes save the tanks or will they have to go back and make sure the Kevin and the scientists are okay. Meanwhile…when are they going to find Douglas?

Book 3 concludes the trilogy and I wish that I could say how it ended on a bang, but I really did prefer book 2. Duane places all of his cards on the table as he attacks with his tanks. The Autobots naturally counter, but a scientist decides to destroy all of the Transformers as he launches a satellite that will emit a code that will wipe them all out. Kevin and Gears decide that the satellite is the true priority and Reverb wants to live as well so a race against the clock starts. Meanwhile, we have insect worms that have invaded Earth and they are also attacking Douglas on the other planet. (Which actually gets a decent amount of screentime here as a subplot) One way or another…it all ends here!

Optimus Prime may not get a huge role in this trilogy, but it still may be a little bigger than you may have expected. He is guaranteed to get a fight in each of the three books and that’s always pretty fun. He takes down his the first Decepticon rather easily in book one and he also crushes the worms in the final book of the trilogy. (During the re match anyway) The only fight where Prime is on the losing side is when he faces off against Reverb and it’s mostly due to the fact that none of the Autobots or Decepticons are very athletic or quick, but I shall talk about that more in a bit. This is a pretty accurate depiction of Prime and he’s awarded the respect that he really deserves at this point. He seems to be a little more eager to convert Decepticons into Autobots here than usual, but he does ultimately want the war to be over. He can just be a little too naive in this when a single blast can change the course of a battle. He risks his spark with this decision more than once.

Gears is the main Autobot in this trilogy since he’s always hanging out with Kevin. His personality is pretty similar to Bulkhead’s or the green robot in Rescue Bots. He doesn’t really understand all of the Earth customs and such yet, but he still tries to help Kevin through his many hardships. Gears can be pretty cheesy though and he’s not the greatest fighter. He can definitely fight if he has too, but his leg is almost always injured. He beats Ratchet and Bumble Bee, but he’s not going to stand out after the trilogy ends.

Bumblebee looks pretty bad here. He doesn’t fall into any character holes, but the author must think that he’s the weakest Autobot of all time. Bumblebee doesn’t get to win any fights here and he is constantly crushed by random Decepticons. He always “talks” tough, but Bumblebee is the first one to hit the ground. He’ll charge at the villain, but they always seem to be quicker and stronger than him. It’s true that Bumblebee isn’t the toughest Autobot around, but he’s still a tough warrior and he gets the job done. I at least expect Bumblebee to put up a decent fight. That never happens here and Bumblebee’s role is very small, which doesn’t help either.

The only Autobot who may appear less than Bumblebee is Ratchet. Ratchet doesn’t look very good either since he can be worse than Prime when it comes to falling for Decepticon traps. The odds of Reverb actually being a hero are slim to none and he was very suspicious the entire time. Ratchet should have been prepared for such a course of action and he rarely helps during fight scenes. He has a cool buzzsaw, but you have to actually land attacks with it to make a difference. He gets to take down some of the worms and a Decepticon somewhere down the line, but he could have been a lot better. We need more fighters and less medics for the heroes!

Typically, I don’t like Ironhide, but he was actually pretty good here. He is always bragging or putting up a tough front. That can get old fast, but it’s good to see that at least one Autobot is always ready to fight. Considering how many Decepticons are around, The heroes definitely need more Ironhides. Despite his claims, Ironhide still isn’t that much tougher than the others. He has a lot of weapons, but he still struggles to beat a human tank and he is also quickly shut down by Reverb. He’s not a bad character, but he’s going to have to get stronger if he really wants to earn a rep. I am glad that he didn’t fall for Douglas’ tricks though.

Reverb is the main Decepticon and he’s really the only one to actually get a role here. He’s not ultimately powerful, but he can give Gears’ a good fight. He certainly knows how to get back on his feet though since he appears in all three books. He gets an energy shield, which immediately makes him stronger than the rest of the Autobots. It’s a little sad for the heroes, but it certainly gives Reverb bragging rights. He’s pretty generic, but as far as villains go, Reverb was all right. I should remember his name for a while now and he doesn’t let the humans boss him around.

Kevin is basically what you may expect from your average main character. The book does a good job of keeping him away from the romance angle and he just wants to have a good time. He does come with a tragic backstory though since his parents were taken out by Decepticons. Things get even worse for him after the first book as his brother is also taken away. Kevin manages to be pretty likable when he’s on screen although he can be a little wishy washy sometimes. He talks back to government officials as well as Autobots and Decepticons. Nothing can faze him and it’s pretty intense. He blew up at his friend in book 1 rather quickly though, which may make you doubt whether he makes for a good friend or not. All things considered, he’s a lot better than he could have been.

Duane is the main human villain of the trilogy. It’s not really a spoiler to say this because we find out pretty early on that he’s the main villain. He is rich and he just wants his Dad’s big inventions to fail so that he can prove to his father just how good he is. He’s willing to destroy just about anyone to further these ambitions and he’s very good at controlling technology. He can definitely be a handful for the heroes, but he definitely has the skills to prove why he can be useful to both sides. I think his character development in book 3 is very rushed though since an accident forces him to do a complete 180 on his plans. I don’t know…the whole thing happened without a lot of foreshadowing. It’s just hard to picture him changing so drastically because of the one event. I think the series may have been planned to be longer than 3 books or the author just lost track of time there. Still, Duane may be the best human villain that we’ve seen in Transformers since the Hunter in the original show.

Douglas is Kevin’s brother and he’s a pretty noble character. The author tries to portray him as the ultimate hero. He’s a tough commander, but he still makes time to joke around and become buddies with all of his subordinates. His will to survive never wavers and he’s firmly planted on the side of justice. He can be a little too strict at times though and Douglas tends to be very slow on the uptake. The author really tries to force you to like him, but that’s more or less okay since he’s a solid character. (Of course…that’s the point of the plan…) I wouldn’t have minded a book about his journeys on the planet.

Simon Clay is another villain whose character development goes through a radical change between books 1 and 2. You can even argue that it started towards the end of book 1. He was a capable villain at first and then he is completely used for comic relief in the final two books. He’s terrified of the Decepticons and he’s even scared of a kid. (He doesn’t know that his boss is a kid of course, but it’s still pretty embarrassing) He’s always running away or stuttering when Reverb is around and it’s pretty sad. I liked him a lot in book 1 and after that you can only like him in a comic relief way. I actually don’t mind that form of him, but you simply cannot try to be both serious and comic relief. You have to choose one or the other or you will fail at both. That’s what happens to Clay.

Let’s address the power levels of the Transformers. This is the movie continuity so it explains why they’re so weak, but it can be a little sad to fans who only watch the shows. The government’s tech is already almost up to par with the Transformers’ and it’s heavily implied that it is superior. The 1 on 1 battle between Ironhide and a tank ends with the Autobot’s victory, but Duane was holding back so throw away any suspicions that the heroes may have gotten. The scientist was also able to create a ray that could destroy all of the Autobots, but the heroes admit that it may not have worked anyway. Basically, a simple missile can deal critical damage to a Transformer and the government also has liquid metal that can instantly KO them. The Transformers are in a very dangerous pickle here.

What can also be a little annoying is that all of the Transformers seem to be more or less equal power wise. A good shot from a blade or a gun can KO just about anyone. The Autobots typically win because they attack first or land the opening blow, but the Decepticons really seem to have an even chance if they would only land a blow. I think there should be more of a gap between someone like Prime as opposed to the average Autobot.

One of the great positives about the trilogy is the fact that the books just go very quickly. They are a little on the short side (Around 130-160 pages a book and the print is fairly large) but I’m not really referring to length. The plot is very engaging and the dialogue between the characters is interesting enough to just keep you reading. The very first scene in the trilogy can start off a little too quickly since you’re just picking up the book, but it’s clear sailings from there. I typically finished off large portions of the trilogy in a single batch because of how fun they were. (Maximum Ride still holds the record in that regard as I would read a complete book in one sitting. I read a whole Transformers book in one batch as well, but Maximum Ride is about three times bigger)

Overall, This is a pretty great trilogy. We get some nice fight scenes and the human characters are actually pretty interesting. My only warning is that you should not expect the Transformers to operate under many tiers as mentioned earlier. There isn’t much that separates someone like Optimus Prime from someone like Ratchet. They’re more or less equal when it comes down to a fight, which makes things dicey against Reverb. The second book is actually the highlight of the trilogy, but the third still does have some fun action with Douglas and his party as they try to survive on the blue planet. Drama, Suspense, Action…this trilogy has it all!

Overall 8/10

The Invisible Man Review

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The 30s aren’t particularly known for their immense selection of incredible films, but they still did churn out some pretty big titles. The Invisible Man is certainly one of them and almost everyone has heard of this figure. He was a character who could scare just about anyone back in the day. Considering that it is nearly a century old at this point, The Invisible Man presents us with a pretty interesting film that is fun to watch. I gotta say that this is definitely my kind of Horror Film! (It can give some of the Godzilla films a run for their money.)

The story revolves around a scientist whose experiment goes wrong and he turns invisible. No..that’s a little misleading. His experiment didn’t turn out as he had pictured, but he was interested in basically turning invisible so it was essentially a success. The big twist is that the chemicals also warp the user’s mind so he starts to get more and more sinister until the Invisible Man basically becomes a mass murderer with visions of world domination. The local authorities have to stop him..but how can you stop someone who is invisible? (And has super strength/speed as well…) The ultimate battle of good vs evil is about to begin!

The film is only about 70 minutes so things have to move at a fairly brisk pace. The film never moves too fast, but it goes quickly enough so that many things can happen. The film starts out pretty suspenseful and then it turns into more of an action by the end. There are some scenes that will definitely stretch your limit for disbelief, but this film is pretty old so it could be a generation gap. These moments will definitely be addressed in a moment.

The Invisible Man is the main villain of the title and it’s hard to tell if he was always evil or if the side effects of the potion really threw him over the deep end. Either way, it’s not a positive for the Invisible Man if you think of him as a hero. Luckily, I just think of him as a villain and he’s not bad in that respect. You can’t really root for him since his goals just seem to come out of nowhere, but what villain doesn’t want to become rich and rule the world? We can only see the Invisible Man when he has clothes on, but the serum definitely seemed to make him a lot stronger. He mentioned how it has opened his mind so it may go back to the theory that we only use about 20% of our mind and using more of it would give us super abilities. At least it’s sort of scientific depending on how you look at it. He can choke a man with ease and survive frigid temperatures while naked. He’s also a fairly quick runner and he can be in 10 places at once. (Not literally of course) He makes for a very powerful villain and one that realistically cannot be defeated…which makes the ending a little dicey.

The Chief Detective was definitely my favorite character in the film. He came up with a lot of plans to stop the Invisible Man and nothing fazed him. This was the kind of guy that you just didn’t want to mess with and I actually liked some of his strategies. The net may have been a little primitive, but he didn’t have the tech that we currently possess. He made do with what he had and it would be tough to do a whole lot more. I won’t be forgetting the detective!

Arthur Kemp doesn’t look very good at all since he’s basically a hostage for a good portion of the film. He is too scared of the Invisible Man to launch any counter offensives and the most resistance that he could commit was to call the Police. He made the right call, but he should have either stayed locked up in the room or ran outside to meet the police. The Invisible Man does have some basic super strength and speed, but I don’t think it’s by a large gap. Arthur could still run for a while and he wouldn’t go down without a fight. Even once Arthur is in the car. He just starts begging for mercy right from the get go instead of trying to fight the Invisible Man. If you’re going to die, you may as well fight back right? Just go for the gold at that point.

Most of the fighters don’t do very well against the Invisible Man and that can be a little embarrassing for them. They outnumbered him at least 50-1 at one point and he just scared them into submission. Their best chance was during the first showdown where they were face to face with him, but the crowds ran away when the Invisible Man took off his bandages around his head. They should have pounced right then and there, but the shock defeated them. After that, I don’t think that they really could have defeated him.

Being invisible is just too great of a power. There are millions of places to hide and you could also just reduce the town’s population one by one. It’s impossible to protect everyone and the Invisible Man is already fairly smart. He may have gotten careless at the end, but even then he should have been able to escape. Instead, he decides to play the final Mario 64 level with the Policemen taking the role of Bowser. This proved to be a fatal mistake and you have to wonder what he was thinking.

It’s also a little hard to sympathize with the Invisible Man at the beginning of the film. I did for a few minutes when everyone was scared of him for no good reason. Sure, he was bundled up, but it was freezing out there. The sympathy was lost when he began to yell at the shop owners the whole time. He could have easily finished his experiments if he had been more polite and less direct about everything. Because of that, the Invisible Man lost his chance.

We had a few other characters like the main heroine and her father, but they don’t really contribute to the plot. They are there to provide us with a little context and some backstory for the Invisible Man, but that’s about it. I do have to say that the first Policeman’s portrayal was pretty great though. At first, he doesn’t really care much about the Invisible Man’s situation. (Before they knew he was invisible) However, you can see him growing more and more confident as he walks into the room and the Invisible Man continues to hurl threats. The Policeman doesn’t back down until the Invisible Man starts to become invisible with his iconic laugh. I’ll admit that his appearance isn’t very flattering at that point, but the beginning is really what counts.

There isn’t really a soundtrack to be found here since the film is so old. I will admit that the film’s age does show when it comes to the audio. It can be very hard to hear what some of the characters are saying because their voices are just too screechy. This is especially the case for one of the owners, but it’s more intentional on her part. She’s a pretty exaggerated character, but a pretty likable one nonetheless. I felt bad for her and her husband since they were just trying to run a respectable shop. The audio was a little dicey, but it’s pretty unavoidable and it’s not the kind of thing that will really take points away.

Overall, The Invisible Man is a pretty fun film. The writing is pretty strong as you would expect and the characters are pretty interesting. I think that the Police really should have been out of their league here, but I’ll accept the plot hax since the hero has to win somehow. The towns people were way too afraid of the Invisible Man though and they shouldn’t have been. He’s still just one man and they can definitely take him if they all just charge. It was hard to take them seriously during those moments, but they pulled it together by the end. The town was pretty cool and it’s the kind of place that you definitely wouldn’t have minded living in back during the 30’s. I definitely recommend this film to horror films and it may not be a thrill a minute, but it’s a very good film. It will keep you interested from start to finish. You’ll never forget The Invisible Man’s maniacal laugh afterwards!

Overall 7/10

Deja Vu Review

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I know that some like to spell “Deja” with a few symbols above the letters, but I prefer to just write it out like this. The title can already tell you that this is either the next Groundhog Day or it’s going to involve time. I can safely say that it’s the latter although it’s a bit of a trick question since Groundhog Day did involve time. It’s a decent film, but I am hesitant to say that it’s much more than that. The film doesn’t really end up leaving a big impact on you. You watch it…and it’s gone. (Like Battleship)

The plot involves special agent Doug as he tries to solve a case before it even begins. A terrorist attacks a ship and destroys over 500 people in the process. Nobody knows who did it or where the person went, which is where Doug comes in. Doug is the first person to confirm that it was a terrorist attack and he is then brought on to the elite squad. With the use of satellites, they can watch just about any spot on the planet as of 4 days ago. So, they can wait 4 days to see who did it, but it may be too late by then. Moreover, there is no rewinding available so they need to be able to identify the person right away. The plot thickens when Doug finds out that another person was murdered prior to the explosion and thrown into the ocean to make it appear as if the person was just another victim. Doug is now personally invested in this case and he’s ready to solve this case. Now, what if there is more to this satellite technology than meets the eye? What if Doug can stop the crime before it starts? That’s when the real film begins!

Well, the satellite thing is actually pretty scientific. I recall reading about it recently that at least 4 satellites are typically trained on the area. From there, it gets a little hazy since I don’t really think that the satellites would typically be able to look through buildings and get clear 1080P footage while you’re in a dark alley at night. It’s certainly possibly in theory though and it’s interesting to think about. If our government actually had perfected the tech to this extent though, the world would either be a really good place or our civil rights would be even more dismantled than they currently are. (America is still one of the best at protecting us though) Things get more than a little hazy once they start explaining about how you can actually look at the past with the satellites. That means that it’s fiction time!

I do give Doug credit for deciding to change the past while the others said that it wasn’t possible. If time travel was actually possible, then I definitely think it could be altered. The two events go hand in hand. If you can go back in time, then you can change it. If not, then time and the events within it are simply unchangeable. That’s always been my stance on the matter.

Doug is a decent lead. He definitely wants to solve the case and he’s ready to do whatever it takes to succeed without doing anything that’s really unheroic. This is the kind of character that you could call a little generic and get away with it. There’s nothing about him that really stands out and he’s only decent in a fight. His final stand off against the main villain was actually pretty bad since he was on the defensive the whole time. One could argue that his end is also a little tragic and not what you would expect while others can argue that it had to happen due to the plot. I dunno, I think he could have put in the extra effort and just moved to the Hotel California to avoid any missteps.

Claire is the main heroine and a lot of bad things happen to her in a very short amount of time. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have a whole lot of street smarts. She gives away her home address to a random guy over the phone that wanted to buy her car. If you’re going to sell a car to someone, at least arrange to meet in a busy section that has a McDonalds. (Or a sports bar, since the guys inside can definitely fight) Her second big mistake is to open the door when she hears a sound outside. First rule of living in any area is that you never open the door unless you know exactly who’s outside. (And you should recognize their tone to know if they’re being held at gunpoint. Although, there’s not much you can do at that point) So, that was a really rough start for her and that leads to the events that transpire afterwards. She’s a decent character overall, but negative things happen to her left and right. She can’t really find any peace at this rate. This also means that she doesn’t get a whole lot of time for character development and the romance is pretty non existent. (It’s pretty one sided until the end where it’s probably both ways, but still rushed)

Oerstadt is the terrorist in the film and he’s as crazy as you may have expected. I doubt I’ll ever like a terrorist character in a film and that’s a good thing. Films shouldn’t even try to make them sympathetic or likable since they’re just bad people when it all boils down to it. Oerstadt is certifiably insane as he wants to murder everyone to show the United States that they need more patriots. He wants them to wake up and start controlling the world since they have the power. Instead, Oerstadt is woken up to the fact that he didn’t think this through and that his only escape options are death and life imprisonment. Not the best set of options right?

One of the complaints that I would have with the supporting characters is that they can be slow on the uptake. Take Doug’s partner. He gets a message informing him that a terrorist is going to blow up the boat so he heads there to stop him. He sees the guy get into the van so he runs towards him. “Stop….Stop…hands in the air” is basically what the agent says. The guy just takes out his gun and shoots him…..eh? When you’re dealing with a terrorist, you quickly let everyone know and you don’t just walk up to the window. At the very least, shoot all of the wheels so that the guy can’t escape. Then, don’t go in front of the window so the shot will at least be a little more difficult. This guy was an agent so I’m sure that he’ll have enough connections to inform the NSA that something’s up.

The film is also pretty gritty. The main heroine’s plight is pretty serious and the partner’s demise is also pretty gruesome. The film shows the aftermath of the terrorist attack and it’s grim as you would expect. They don’t want to make light of such a situation, but these three scenes are still not really any fun. The heroine’s plight happens twice. The first one is off screen and then we see part of the second until the guy is interrupted. That was good at least, but it’s still a bit much since we know what would have happened.

Finally, this film actually has some fanservice, which is a definite no no. I wasn’t really expecting any since I’ve actually gotten lucky on that angle recently. Most of the films that I’ve seen have actually stayed away from that angle. Not here. Doug and his co-workers decide to spy on Claire through their super satellites to see what happens and they definitely take a while to turn the camera. They’re spying on her constantly and that is decidedly unheroic. It’s okay when she’s in proper attire, but they should otherwise change the view immediately. Not a good move “heroes!”

There’s not much of a soundtrack of course. Luckily, that was to be expected here. We had a bit of a red herring involving the main agent in charge since he acts incredibly suspicious the whole time, but his plot never amounts to anything. At least it gives the viewers something to think about. His role is very small and I still wonder if the writers just forgot about him.

Overall, Deja Vu is a pretty standard film. It does end up losing some extra points for the gruesome violence and the fanservice though so it ultimately becomes a little sub par. The main character wasn’t bad and I always like a good time travel story, but the film just wasn’t terribly exciting or interesting. You sort of want to find out what’s going to happen, but you’ll find yourself to be pretty detached from the current events. It’s hard to really get into what’s happening and you could say that it’s a bit of a negative. A film should really keep you on the edge of your seat. An example of this is the big car chase scene. It’s a fun concept, but it’s not as thrilling as you would expect. Maybe the cars just weren’t going fast enough or it’s because I already saw Need For Speed. Well, I wouldn’t really recommend this one and I think you’d be better off watching The One for parallel universe explanations.

Overall 4/10

TimeSplitters Review

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It’s time for a new series to join the ranks of the blog! Starting a game series always fills you with a lot of emotions because you are about to be thrown into a whole new world! Who knows what dangers lurk around the corners and which games will end up becoming instant classics. TimeSplitters is an FPS with a sci-fi theme so let’s see how this plays out.

What does FPS mean? Basically, this game is a first person shooter similar to Call of Duty. It’s not your average shooter though because it has an arcade feel to it. So, the gameplay is very quick and you’re always on the go. Tactics aren’t really going to save you from getting blown apart so my best advice is to just run at the villains. Simply fire before they can fire back as you dash towards the goal. There are 9 levels in Story Mode and each one can be beaten between 30 seconds to 4 minutes. According to the play time, I took a little over an hour to beat it.

“So what happened DReager1…did you hold back?” Well, that’s the logical assumption to make since the game should have only taken me around 36 minutes to beat considering my epicness. The big twist is that I’m not very good at FPS games. Don’t get the wrong idea! I could still take just about anyone out in this kind of game, but I simply can’t deal with the sniper gun. That’s the level that I tried around 40 times before finally completing it. Over 40 times!! Even if the levels are short, that’s certainly going to keep the clock running and I eventually just muscled my way through. It was tough, but no level can hold me at bay for long. There is technically a plot, but it’s only in the booklet or on the cover. The actual game doesn’t really have one so I won’t really address it here.

Once you are done with the story mode levels, you unlock Challenge Mode. I believe that there are around 18 challenges so that should buy you some more time and we can’t forget about Arcade Mode! The game also goes up to 4 players, which is pretty good since multiplayer is a must in any FPS. People don’t spends thousands of hours playing Call of Duty and Halo for the story mode…they play it for the huge online battles! Likewise, you’re bound to have a lot of fun in multiplayer playing this game since competing is always fun.

The soundtrack is decently good for this game from what you can hear. Amidst all of the shooting, you’ll likely only remember the main menu theme. It’s pretty good, but I would have liked to see some other themes as well. Of course, when you beat a level in under a minute…you may not be giving it enough time to really get going.

The graphics are pretty decent for this game. The character models don’t look too blurry or anything like that and you can clearly see where to go next. Considering that lighting is typically a problem on my TV, it was impressive to be able to see everything. The level designs are a lot of fun and my favorite level is easily the mansion. Surprisingly, the future levels tended to be the least imaginative. Maybe I just didn’t like playing as the robot, but it wasn’t quite as exhilarating as being in that huge mansion.

First Person Shooters have been one of my least favorite genres. I used to really not like them and part of the reason is that you really can’t focus on the scenery in those. You’re always looking at the screen through the barrel of your gun and it can be tricky. I’ve grown more accustomed to them over the years though, but my skills are still a little behind since I rarely play them. I enjoy the game’s fast pace since it helps it feel a little more like your typical third person game. If you are just entering the FPS world, this may not be a bad place to start!

Overall, This is a pretty fun game. You’ll definitely enjoy it if you like the FPS genre and there are a ton of characters to use. It may not matter so much to some fans since you can’t really see the character during the game, but a lot of them have some pretty intriguing titles. “PeakABoo Jones” comes to mind. The only reason why you would want to think before you purchase this game is the duration. 1 hour for story mode isn’t a whole lot of time and considering that Challenge Mode is double (2 hours) the time and Arcade Mode is likely another hour, you’re not looking at a very long game. Still, the going price for it is very low and you must count the multiplayer replay value as well. Simply put, you’ll enjoy this game more if you have someone to play it with. I would still recommend it if you are by yourself too of course, but then you’ll want to make sure that you don’t mind short games. (I usually get thrilled to see a short game since I have so many on the back burner.) I can safely say that the sequel is naturally on my list now since it can only improve and it’s on the greatest console of all time….the GAMECUBE! It’s supposed to seriously give you the chills so I look forward to that. As far as creepiness goes, the zombies/TimeSplitters in this game were pretty intense. I hope that there is more of a plot in the sequel since it should help to make the story mode a little more interesting. We do need to raise the stakes right? Maybe you’ll keep this review in mind for the next rainy day so that you can have this game at the ready. It’ll be like watching a quick scary movie to pass the time by.

Overall 7/10

2001: A Space Odyssey Review

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Have you ever seen a film that made you go to sleep? No, I’m not talking about the Lord of the Rings! 2001: A Space Odyssey surpasses that film in that category as the scenes are even more stretched out and the film runs for around the same amount of time. With less plot than a Saturday Morning Cartoon; A main character that makes Alex Hopper look like Tom Cruise; and an ending that would make Inception viewers cringe….we have this film! I hope that you’ve prepared yourself accordingly because watching this film is basically like throwing hours of your life out the window.

What is the plot? The film never figured that out so it’s barely worth mentioning. The first plot is about animal violence and how we descended from Apes. The Apes learned to destroy each other until they managed to become as brutal as the modern humans. After that, we go to David Bowman as he goes to the board meeting. It’s a big conspiracy between the members as they can’t let the press find out what they’re about to do. This journey will be dangerous after all so they convince everyone that there is a plague on board. David takes Frank and Hal 9000 as they head off into the great unknown. However, nothing is as it seems and the humans eventually start to distrust Hal 9000. Obviously, there is only room for one type of being so now they will have to fight. Man vs Machine!

It’s like watching a bad sci-fi film that doesn’t know if it wants to be a thriller, a political film, or a thematic sensation. As a result, the story telling is very convoluted and nothing makes sense. The writing makes the Amazing Spider Man 2 look amazing and it makes the Lord of The Rings appear to be a thrill a minute in comparison. It’s no shock to say that I’m giving this film a single star and it would be hard to say where that star came from. (Or not, Hal 9000 was pretty epic after all) Let’s quickly talk about the characters since there really aren’t many to talk about.

David Bowman is the main lead of the film, but it won’t matter all that much by the end since he has no real personality to speak of. He’s pretty careful around the news reporters, which is good and he doesn’t really gossip. He’s pretty much a no nonsense character and he seems to be pretty reasonable. Did he get a little too drastic in his plan to get Hal 9000? That’s something we’ll discuss later on. Overall, I would actually say that Bowman was a decently good main character. He was very bland and he didn’t have much of a personality, but that also meant that he didn’t really have time to make many mistakes. I can’t say that he fell into any character holes. He’s a perfectly acceptable main character.

Frank Poole is his friend/co worker. You could say that he’s a more aggressive version of David Bowman. Bowman never really voices his opinion about Hal 9000 being dangerous until Frank suggests that they take him out. Bowman was hinting at it, but he was very indecisive and he seemed to want Frank’s agreement before even suggesting it. Frank isn’t subtle like that and everything he does is direct. Because of this, Frank ends up being more likable than David and he’s the best human character in the film. Going outside when the ship is a suspect may be a little….optimistic at best, but every character makes a big error at some point right? Frank Poole was definitely a good character.

Hal 9000 is the big villain of the film. He’s famous and everyone knows about Hal 9000. Despite this, Hal 9000 isn’t actually a very big player. His screen time is a lot shorter than I would have thought. Despite this, Hal 9000 is still as sinister as I had pictured. You really can’t get past his sarcastic voice. “Hello Dave” “I can’t do that Dave” are some of his lines and Hal 9000 never lets up. He has nothing but contempt for humanity and it really shows. I can definitely see why he was remembered since he was one of the only really good things about the film. Right down to the end, Hal 9000’s voice will give you the chills and his end is probably where the film should have ended.

Unfortunately, the film did not end! After that, we just get a lot of scenes that don’t really have any relevance to them. There are a lot of meta readings that you can take from the scenes, but you can also just go to sleep and let the film end on its own. The problem with trying to have a lot of symbolic interpretations is that there is no correct answer. Once you put out a vague ending, the viewer can name any ending that they please and it won’t really be wrong. Thus, there really isn’t a point anymore. The film had no point and that’s one of the saddest parts. We never really begin to like the main characters so there isn’t a sense of relief at the end.

The whole film is really dragged out. The first 5-8 minutes of the film are pure darkness and we even have an intermission with more darkness. The final 15-20 minutes just consist of random oceans and other locations where we can appreciate the view. If I wanted a good view, then I’d pop in my Homer Price dvd and check out the realistic donuts! The main character eventually goes insane and that basically represents the audience by this point. I think it’s safe to say that you’ll lose interest before the halfway mark of the film anyway, but this would throw you off if you were still on board. Even eating a sandwich can take a while in this film as they slowly go for the food and they take forever to finish it. Don’t worry, they silently jog afterwards to burn off the calories. Another example of how the film is dragged out is the conversation with the media. “I’m not at liberty to discuss this” is something that the main character says when they try to get information out of him. What’s his next line? The same exact thing! The writers were just grasping at straws at that point as they just wanted to drag out the dialogue as much as possible. The characters make sure to cough and take deep breaths so that they can stop themselves from replying for a little longer. The camera also has a little lag to it so the scenes end up staying on the screen for longer than necessary. Not that we could expect anything less from this film!

Okay, we’ve established that the film is boring right? I could keep on mentioning this fact and give more examples, but I think you get the point. Still, that can’t be enough to give it a 1 right? Even the Lord of the Rings scored higher than that! Well, one big hole that the film charged into was the classic case of animal violence. Yes, there is animal violence in a space film that is about man vs machines. Why is animal violence present? Because the film forgot what it was about!

The first half hour or so is about a group of monkeys massacring each other. That’s it….there’s no plot, no point, and no fun. It’s just about the animals hurting each other and maturing into humans. It’s essentially a silent film at this stage and it makes the silent scenes of the Arthur tv show look profound and relevant. By this point in the film, I already had a sneaking suspicion that the film could not score above a three. Little did I know that it would never rise up from this error.

The end of the film is all about being trippy and we have a lot of inverted colors and random events that occur. You keep waiting for something to happen and it never does so you’re left with an empty feeling. This is why you shouldn’t make a film very crazy looking just so that you can try to win some awards and get recognition for being unique. Using the tried and true formula of the Mario Bros film would be much better.

Now, should the humans have decided to destroy/dismantle Hal 9000 and his upper functions? He did make a mistake with the satellite, but was it really on purpose as part of some conspiracy? I definitely think that he was trying to cover up his mistake as the film went on, but I don’t think he would have felt that it was necessary to murder the whole crew if Bowman and Frank hadn’t discussed their plan. (Talking in front of a window is never a really smart thing to do) It just seemed like the humans were a little rash in their thinking. Hal 9000 may have been in error, but he didn’t seem to be malicious. There were possibly some veiled threats in his dialogue with the main characters and if he’s so smart…then the mistake had to be intentional right? Nonetheless, while there are some doubts as to what side Hal 9000 was on, they should have given him a chance. At least wait until they’re back on the ground to disable him. Going on the offensive just wasn’t a wise thing to do in their situation. Then, sending out Frank to put the satellite back in place? That’s just asking for trouble. I can’t say with complete confidence that deciding to work with Hal 9000 would have helped them out in the end, but I do think that he wouldn’t have turned completely evil. (Not so quickly anyway)

Overall, 2001: A Space Odyssey is a lot worse than you may have guessed from the cover. There isn’t much of a plot and the events that could have taken 30-40 minutes end up stretching to around 3 hours. The director really wanted this film to be long so he used every artificial technique that he could think of to keep the film going. Because of this, over a third of the film consists of pointless aerial shots or stills of the characters thinking. The intro with the animals is also pointless and the ending doesn’t add anything to the film. The only part with any meat to it was the battle against Hal and that was all too brief. Stay away from this film and all of its animal violence. You would have more fun watching paint dry or taking a nap. The only slight positive would be the main characters, but that’s really not enough to save such a long film. This film may be known as a classic, but I’ll just know it as the film that was more tedious than Lord of the Rings. Watch the latest Star Trek film if you want a good spaceship film.

Overall 1/10