Tag Archives: Suspense

April Fool’s Day Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

April Fool’s Day is definitely an interesting film. Because of the nature of being a film about the trickiest day of the year there are a ton of different fake outs and craziness going on. At the same time, the film is still quite violent and doesn’t hold back with those moments so the question is if the context can sort of help out here or is it still the same thing in the end? I will say the absurd nature of it does give the film a little extra punch but ultimately it’s still not one I would be very likely to recommend.

The film starts off with a bunch of students getting invited to a big April Fool’s party at the fancy mansion of Muffy. The teens are always messing with each other a whole lot with all kinds of pranks but things start to go a bit far when someone is murdered. Is this all really a prank or is someone taking this chance to bump off each and every student? One thing’s for sure, these guys are going to need to try and stay one step ahead of the pranks or they are doomed!

You’re supposed to be kept off balance from the jump because of how much these guys love pranking each other. Put it this way, we have a fake death very early on in the film with the two guys faking an accident by the boat. From there on you know that no prank is out of bounds and even if the characters start to physically fight each other it may be part of the act. So you can’t trust any of the characters or their actions for the duration of the film because you really don’t know what is fake and what is real. I’d say that’s the most effective part of the film because it almost borderlines on being parody but it’s still played very seriously.

It does mean that none of the characters are all that likable though. You just feel like they all go too far with it and so hanging around any of them during the April Fool’s week would be completely unbearable. Even the nicer characters like Muffy are constantly pranking everyone! I would quickly come up with some kind of excuse every year about how I have to go abroad or something. Anything to stay away from the absolute madness!

All of the romances in the film are very weak since they all just seem to be quick affairs over the summer without a whole lot to them. None of these guys and girls actually seem all that loyal or faithful and would cheat in a heartbeat. They’re basically joking about that throughout as it is. You could say in a lot of ways the teenagers in this film are the stereotypical figures you would expect from a horror title like this. None of them would make for great friends but hey they all get along at least.

Of course this is another thing limiting the film. If you don’t really care for the characters then all of the fake jump scares and pranks aren’t going to work quite as well. The film can be on the violent side as well at times with the deaths. Obviously not on the same level as any of the real big slashers though.

Now this is a film with some twists and turns in it. Some of those twists will really change your outlook on the film as a whole so it’s important to factor that in. I will say that it is effective and I can’t even say that I saw the twists coming. Not all of them anyway. Some are a bit hard to believe in hindsight though like we’re talking big stretches of disbelief on how you could have pulled some of the pranks off. I suppose I can accept the disbelief though only because I can maybe picture how it would work. I don’t think it’s likely for these teens to pull them off though.

There is also a lot of convenience in terms of characters being in the right place at the right time to get pranked or notice a deal that the culprit wants them to find but I can buy this one a little more. My excuse would be that there are tons of extra pranks and backup traps so if one doesn’t work then you have a backup at the ready. Mayyyyybe a stretch but not as much of one.

Overall, I’d say how much you enjoy this film will all depend on how much you enjoy all the fakeouts. Either you will get burned out after a while and think the film overdoes it or you’ll enjoy how much it doubles down. The film is completely relentless on this right up through to the end so it never gets sidetracked. The ending is really solid to be honest and actually does win the film back a star or two. So ultimately I liked the idea behind the whole movie. The execution just needs to be so much better and it’s rough because I don’t think these are twists you should pull off too often or it’ll get old fast. So you can already say that one of the opportunities has been wasted now. Next time just make the characters a lot more likable, improve the writing and we’d really be in business. Until then this one will have to be a pass.

Overall 4/10

The Outsiders Review

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It’s time for a film about a bunch of teenagers who grew up in a rather rough town and basically had to adapt to survive. Unfortunately due to this there aren’t very many winners at all. By the end of the film everyone’s really in a bit of trouble and none of the characters are all that likable. There’s definitely a lot going on here but mainly I’d call it more of a depressing film half the time.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Ponyboy and Johnny. They’re good friends who generally try living their lives without causing trouble but the town is divided into two gangs and so they are members of one group (Greasers) and do have to fight when the others show up. (SOCS) They generally all get along in the first gang but things always escalate with the other one. Well, one day in self defense Johnny murders a member of the opposing gang while protecting Ponyboy and now he has to be on the run. Can they ever get their normal lives back?

It’s definitely a film with a fairly slow pace as a lot of it is the characters reflecting about life an just what it means to live in a society. Johnny and Ponyboy have to stay at different hideouts for a while but things continue to escalate and more and more people die. The reason I would say this is a depressing film is because of all that. Sure the characters learn some lessons about how violence isn’t worth it and how the squabbles shouldn’t take over your life. That said, everyones’ lives are ruined by that point so does it really matter? I can see how this i s listed as a coming of age movie but usually you’d expect those to be a little happier. This one’s just grim for pretty much the entire duration.

Also right off the bat the film doesn’t do the best job of making the Greasers all that likable. One of their members is a guy named Dallas who goes around aggressively flirting with the ladies, is into shady clubs and runs around with a gun causing trouble. Yes the film does show that he really cares about Ponyboy and the rest of his friends but he’s still not shown as a particularly good character. He’s a complex character to be sure but a little more heroic would be nice.

I dare say the most heroic character was Darry who did his best trying to keep Ponyboy and Sodapop on the straight and narrow. It was just difficult doing it on his own while he’s still a kid himself. At least I would say he installed a decent amount of goodness into them compared to the others. Ponyboy for example really didn’t want to be fighting and getting into trouble. He seemed like a good kid who would be defending his friends. He did defend the girl at the movie theater who was being harassed so a scene like that goes a long way.

The film is at its best when it’s about Ponyboy and Johnny just enjoying their friendship and having a good time. It’s a nice breather from everything constantly going wrong for them. Johnny was also a really good friend. He stepped up to save Ponyboy even at the expense of his future and throughout the movie he was a really good friend to have. Probably the most likable character out of the group.

We get to see Johnny take a huge risk to save a lot of lives later on which is something some of the other characters probably would have hesitated with. It’s a shame that the characters couldn’t all let bygones be bygones by that point but we do end up needing to have one more big fight in the end. The film does go to show that some of the SOCS are reasonable and don’t actually want to fight. In that respect the film keeps it realistic with both gangs having some good people in them.

Unfortunately when they are in a crowd there is ultimately not enough of them to stop the gang activities as a whole. I’m always a bit iffy on this since I feel like you just need to leave the gang then and not be a part of this. It’s just easier said than done in a small town where everyone is a part of one of the two gangs. So if you try to leave then you may not end up living through that experience. Which in a way proves the point of how dangerous they are.

I like to think that after the definitive gang fight at the end there won’t be any more rumbles since everyone learned their lesson but at the same time a part of you kind of doubts it. Well, it’s definitely good that the gang culture isn’t nearly as mainstream now as it was then. Of course gangs will always exist but it’s not like every teenager is in on it nowadays the way they all are in this film.

Overall, I think the film could have done with being a little more lighthearted. Tone down the body count by one or two so there is something to really celebrate by the end. It certainly succeeds in being really emotional and somber the whole time but that usually limits a film’s potential. Sure things are finally going to be looking up after the final events since the cycle of violence is finally ended but it came at a massive cost. This is a film that wouldn’t have a lot of replay value because it would just make for a tough watch. There’s a lot happening in the movie so you’ll never be bored but ultimately that’s just not enough to make it really solid. I would say to give this one a skip.

Overall 4/10

The Night Stalker Review

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It’s time for an old school mystery film. It’s probably more appropriate to lead off with calling this one a horror but there is quite a bit of mystery to unfold here as well. It’s a movie that really stands out in some ways particularly thanks to the music but ultimately fumbles the ball before reaching the end zone. It doesn’t have the replay value that it could have achieved otherwise.

The film starts by introducing us to Kolchak, a reporter who has been around the block many times before. Not for the best of reasons as he has been fired from numerous papers but this time he has a whopper of a story. Someone is going around murdering a bunch of women in town and each victim is completely drained of blood. It appears that we have a real life vampire on our hands. However, no matter how much evidence Kolchak is able to pile up, nobody will believe him and the story is being suppressed. Can he gets through to these people in time to save some lives or is he going to have to simply get frustrated as he watches everyone die right before him?

The movie does a great job of getting Kolchak’s frustration through to the audience. After a point you just feel like he has so much evidence and yet nobody will take him seriously. When everyone’s blood is being sucked out how many options do you realistically have? Now I understand if you don’t want to assume he’s a vampire right off the bat so Kolchak has a very reasonable alternative. Lets at least operate on the presumption that someone is psychotic and believes he is a vampire. The cops turn this down too and don’t even want to write about it for fear of a panic. That always has to be one of the worst excuses though. So you’d rather people keep on getting murdered than cause the panic? Sure….

I can’t give the main guy any grief because he does his best but the rest of the characters are all annoying and completely complicit in this. His direct boss is constantly scared of being fired and doesn’t want to cause a scene which means that he is completely useless here. All of the execs feel the same way and of course the cops are often trying to get on his case. They may as well be allies to the vampire after a point because hiding things only goes so far. At one point the entire police force fights the vampire and they lose badly. He’s immune to bullets and basically crushes them. Their reaction is to ignore that this happened and proceed as normal.

The vampire isn’t even subtle after a while. He just breaks into hospitals and murders people as he sees fit because it’s not like they can stop him anyway. It makes sense he would be this brazen when he knows nobody will stop him. That’s why the whole thing is so embarrassing. The film also decides to trip for no reason by having the vampire murder a dog. Pretty bad move the whole time. There was no reason for this and if anything the owner had a good idea as self defense but you know that it’s doomed against a vampire so it just ends up hurting the experience further.

The soundtrack is really good though and a highlight of the movie. It really pops out at you and keeps the movie moving at a fast pace. It’s not the kind of music you would typically expect in a mystery but it works really well. A good soundtrack definitely elevates a scene and it certainly helps make this one more interesting as well. It doesn’t save the film from its issues but at least gives you something fun to listen to.

The writing is also pretty solid. I like the fast paced script at least with the characters all yelling at each other the whole time. There is a ton of banter here and Kolchak really doesn’t hold back no matter who he is talking too. Whether it’s the boss or some random guy Kolchak is going to be yelling and kicking up a fuss immediately. He’s passionate about his work which is a good thing. Also he is a great reporter which the other characters can’t really deny. Kolchak pulls out every trick in the book in order to get the answers.

So the film is at its best when it’s focused on the detective angle. I like the mystery angle and the process of finding out the clues. The old school detective work just really works out well so I could see this series having a lot of potential if they can just stick away from the supernatural angle. Even with a vampire it could have helped if the characters caught the vampire a little sooner but you feel bad for the victims who don’t really have a chance here. Then throw in all the scenes of the heroes doing their best not to help and it means you can never really be having a great time here. The film has some light banter but there’s always a dead body at the end of each conversation.

Overall, The Night Stalker is a pretty interesting film in a lot of ways. Honestly it would be more interesting if the villain was not supernatural but I do get the appeal. It’s essentially a look at how the world might react to a vampire in a super realistic setting like this. The problem mainly is it falls into the usual vampire issues and of course the film had to squeeze in some animal violence. Not a great look and you just wish the heroes could have done more to stop this guy a little sooner. The body count was really quite high by the end. You can do better for a mystery title.

Overall 3/10

Trog Review

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Trog is one of those films that only lasts so long because all of the characters are annoying and don’t have to fight. This creature isn’t super powerful or anything and yet he always seems to find himself on top. What that tells me is that the characters didn’t plan things out very well. A film about a villainous caveman doesn’t have a ton of potential right out of the gate and I can confirm that this one isn’t doing anything all that special. It’s at best a serviceable creature feature title.

The movie kicks off with introducing us to Dr. Brockton who is a scientist that is very eager to uncover truths about humanity at large. Her wish is granted when there is a sighting of a mysterious monster that could be the missing link between man and apes. His name is Trog and he looks…well like a cross between a man and an ape. He was in suspended animation for a while there but now he has returned and may enact a lot of carnage. The heroes manage to subdue him with a tranq dart and Brockton keeps him in her lab. This move is opposed by some people in the town, mainly a man named Sam who is absolutely convinced that this creature will destroy them all. Can Brockton convince everyone that Trog is safe or is it all over?

Now Brockton is supposed to be the reasonable character but you can’t help but think that Sam has a real point here. The creature is clearly very powerful and eventually it’s just going to attack. You’d also have to consider the ethics of keeping this creature contained for so long and it’s likely that experiments would crop up in the future. You want to learn things so it’s always a tough balance but Brockton just doesn’t feel very prepared. Ultimately Sam doesn’t let us find out what would have happened naturally as he breaks Trog out and promptly gets murdered. The guy wasn’t very smart even if he was my favorite character in the film. I just loved how openly antagonistic he was the entire time.

Yeah Brockton could be a little overly optimistic at times while he was over the top paranoid but at the end of the day she wasn’t actually committing any crimes while he went as far as to commit some breaking and entering. So you can’t really put them on the same field. The instant Sam went that far he basically voided his arguments since it became more of a matter or pride than him actually believing in what he was doing. He should have stuck to doing this the right thing.

As for Trog, well like I said he’s hardly the most interesting villain. He’s not even all that strong and only lasts a while because the cops are trying not to hurt him. We get the early fight where Trog does fight off a bunch of cops but they had the kid gloves on. If they all grabbed the heavy artillery and started blasting then he would have really been doomed here. The film also starts to rip off King Kong towards the end so it didn’t go in a very creative direction that time.

Still, while Sam made his mistakes I did not like Brockton. It felt like she was okay with any number of sacrifices as long as she got to study Trog and keep advancing science. There is a point where you have to choose to protect lives first and she never really got around to that. Even by the end she’s just really sad about the whole thing but people nearly died. I just didn’t think she was reasonable enough about the situation in the end.

Now for some positives in the film, I did think the writing was fairly good. (Even if it doesn’t seem very smart to jump into cold water in uncharted territory even if it’s in the name of science) It has that retro feel to it and I would say the film feels even older than it actually is. So the script gets to shine and I much preferred the human stuff to the Trog moments. Trog himself does get a reasonable amount of screen time so it doesn’t feel like the film was just hiding him the whole time. There was a real budget here and they used the special effects well. Also in the climax I’m glad that the cops just went in and took care of business. When the body count is rising you really owe it to the people of your town to take down the threat. Obviously you always want to strive for a non lethal solution but there are times where your options are limited. The film was pretty realistic in a way with the main heroine yelling to stop because there will always be someone wanting to get in the way.

Character A can murder 20 people and you’ll still have someone yelling that they need a trial or maybe there’s a reason for what happened. Sure that can happen and if there’s any doubt then you need a trial but if you have a serial murderer running around and piling up the bodies, then you need to take out the threat as soon as possible. Even then the cops only acted in the end as a last resort and didn’t drag things out. They handled it well.

Overall, Trog’s not really my kind of film which limited just how good it could be. I was never a fan of the caveman era in the first place so having one wake up in the present isn’t my idea of a thrilling time. The fight scene with the cops was surprisingly good so I will give the film some credit there. We actually got the fight without any interruption and it was fairly long. The movie delivers on the action here which keeps the film from getting boring. Additionally while I may not love the characters, the dialogue is strong enough to keep things from getting boring. The film is never boring and so that’s why I wouldn’t say that it’s negative. On the flip side, there aren’t any strengths that would allow me to recommend this to someone. If you watch it then that’s great but otherwise there’s no real incentive.

Overall 5/10

The Unholy Review

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It’s time for a movie where the heroes have to deal with demonic forces. It’s tough enough dealing with immortal grudges and indestructible rings but what to you do when your opponent is powered by intangible prayers? This time the world’s only chances lie in the hands of a lying reporter which is not the best spot to be in. Things are about to get tricky.

The movie starts with a witch getting burned alive in brutal fashion and then we jump to the present. Gerry is a disgraced reporter as he was caught fabricating photos and making up lies to get ahead in life. It was definitely not a smart move on his part and he continues to lie to this day. One day he finds a doll and smashes it. Later on he nearly crashes his car when he passes by a girl who’s in a trance. She is deaf and mute but after he drives her home, this girl named Alice makes a full recovery. She is apparently being blessed by the virgin Mary and will start performing miracles for everyone. This is Gerry’s chance to get rich and he doesn’t want to lose it! Is there a downside to healing everyone though?

Being able to heal others would definitely be an amazing thing and so it’s clear why this is a huge deal. It’s just something that doesn’t really happen nowadays and Alice is healing people who have been sick their entire lives. She quickly starts to become a celebrity and while she remains rather quiet and does her own thing, she isn’t obviously sinister. The film has some restraint here so you can see why many would take this whole thing at face value. She doesn’t have an evil laugh, isn’t cackling at night, etc. At face value it all does seem rather nice.

It’s why the climax may be a bit hard to believe. Picture this, you’ve been missing an arm your whole life and a girl shows up, grabs your chest and suddenly your arm grows out. 2 weeks later you’re sitting at the park when she shows up and explains that it was all a prank. Would you believe her or would you look at your arm, give it a little flex and just assume someone is threatening her? I’d assume everyone would believe the latter. Yes the effects of the cure go away after there is enough doubt and all of the belief goes away but I find it very hard to believe that this would happen considering just how many miracles were performed and in such a small community.

The idea of the climax and trying to spread doubt is pretty interesting and in most situations would be very easy. It’s why they say it takes years to build trust but seconds to lose it. This is just a very unique scenario so I had my share of reservations on it. Still, the film will keep you guessing on what the heroes should do the whole time. You’ve got a good amount of conspiracy going and so there is a lot of plot here even outside of all the jump scares.

As a villain the evil Mary is relatively solid. At times she maybe takes a little too long to act so we can assume she underestimates the humans a great deal. Most of these demonic/cosmic villains tend to do that in these movies. One missed opportunity for the film is that Mary doesn’t have much of a physical form until the final minutes. For the most part she’s an intangible spirit that makes statues cry blood but doesn’t do much else. So it doesn’t make her the most imposing villain out there.

Meanwhile as the main heroine I can’t say that Alice was all that good as she lets Mary call the shots right from the jump. Yeah it’s pretty tough to have a voice in your head constantly talking to you but you have to recognize the signs of the voice being suspicious with all of its secrets and such. Alice ultimately makes the right calls even if it takes a while but it would have been nice if she could have kept her kind personality all the way through rather than getting meaner as the film went on. I think it would have been a better dynamic.

Meanwhile Delgarde actually looks fairly decent as a member of the church sent to see if the miracles were legit. I was expecting him to get defeated immediately when he appeared but he actually fights well at first and does some damage. Ultimately he is only able to delay the inevitable but hey we’ll take it. He has a more impressive showing than just about anyone else in the film because he actually has the means to fight instead of just getting trampled.

Gerry is an okay main character but the fact that he’s someone who will take any shortcut to success and hadn’t learned his lesson by the time the film starts is not a good look for him. Yes it’s part of his character arc by the end but I just never liked the guy. I don’t blame everyone for being upset with him all the time. Put it this way, he’s the kind of character who is entertaining to watch on screen but you’d never be able to get along with him in real life. You wouldn’t be able to trust him at all either which is a huge blow to his character.

The movie isn’t too violent for the most part. The intro scene of the mask being nailed on is probably the most intense although we have a few big deaths during the film. It’s enough to be mentioned but isn’t like Halloween or something like that. The film maintains a fairly grim tone throughout the movie but without the classic levels of suspense. The movie doesn’t really grab your attention. I would never call it outright boring but it’s a slow burn and without great characters to sustain it, that huts the film a lot by the end.

Overall, The Unholy is not one of the better supernatural titles. Its main issue is really that Mary doesn’t get to have much of an intimidating design and the character cast is very weak. While the movie has some really good visuals, they aren’t enough to carry the story. While I liked the conspiracy angle involving the Church, it does make them look really bad even outside of the corruption because they had no plan for what was going to happen. It’s like preparing for a giant fire to occur and know that it’s going to happen but still not bringing a bucket of water to help you out. You’re setting yourself up for failure. I’d say to skip this one, it’s far from being one of the lower horror titles that I’ve seen but there isn’t really a lot of appeal here.

Overall 3/10

The Boogeyman Review

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Everyone remembers stories of the Boogeyman from when they were a kid but the scare factor behind him hasn’t really stood the test of time in the same way as stories of vampires or werewolves. They’re just at completely different levels the whole time. This movie does a fun job of updating the mythos but honestly it feels a lot more like a mini Cloverfield monster as opposed to the Boogeyman you’d be thinking of. Honestly if you played your cards right with this film it would be a thriller instead of a horror as you could see a lot of big fight scenes taking place.

Okay so the movie starts with Will doing his best to raise his two daughters Sadie and Sawyer after their mother died in a tragic accident. He is a professional psychiatrist but while he is able to help others, Will hasn’t been able to come to terms with his own situation. As a result he refuses to bring the topic up with his daughters as well which hasn’t been good for their mental health. Sawyer is already afraid of the dark as it is and that’s before the Boogeyman shows up. Well one day a crazy guy runs into the house and starts to talk about monsters. Will decides that he knows how to handle this and leaves the guy alone in his living room while he runs to the kitchen to call the cops. By the time Will returns, the guy seemingly destroyed himself and unfortunately his eldest daughter Sawyer watched this. The traumas are growing now but what if the guy wasn’t crazy. What if a monster is around targeting kids all around the world?

This is one of those movies where we know there is a supernatural monster right out of the gate so of course we’re waiting for the heroes to realize this. While I talked about the opening with the main characters, there was a scene even sooner where a child is murdered by the Boogeyman so we know that he’s around right out of the gate. The Boogeyman only targets kids for some reason but absolutely does not mind collateral damage. If you get in his way then you will very quickly end up dead.

I will say that Will tends to be a very annoying character here. Obviously death can be very hard for some and the effects will vary from person to person. However, as the father Will does need to get it together to at least have a brave face for his kids. Refusing to talk about the subject and not helping during counseling is just being selfish by that point. Yeah the events of the film wouldn’t be all that different if he did talk since the Boogeyman doesn’t care about such things but their bond would have at least been a whole lot stronger.

Sadie is a solid character throughout who is trying to find answers and protect the family. She only weakens midway through when it comes to her “friends”. I haven’t seen a faker group of friends in a minute though. Really there is only one who has been a close friend for a while but now that girl has made other friends who don’t actually like Sadie. Sadie makes the mistake of trying to be close to them anyway and ultimately this doesn’t work out too well. Sadie even gets involved with drugs and really starts to fall down the dark path real quick.

She’s also not very smart in being tricked by a crazy lady and tied up in an abandoned house though. Stranger danger may be a meme at some points when characters take it too far but scenarios like this are why the constant warnings are always appropriate. I could not believe that Sadie just fell for it like this. Cmon you can’t let that happen. There’s just no way. Her little sister Sawyer isn’t particularly helpful but she’s a much younger kid so I’ll cut her a bit of slack.

Also the guy that broke into the study in the first scene didn’t have much of a plan. One of the most annoying things in a film like this is when the traumatized guy tries to talk about monsters and demons while somehow expecting everyone to believe him. You gotta think a little here. Nobody is going to believe a story like that so you have to either lie and make up a believable story while getting the person you’re talking too to do what you want them to do or you just don’t mention it and try something else. Even if Will had believed him…what could he do about it? It’s not like you can just call the cops and have them find the Boogeyman. At least the lady later on had a concrete plan so there are ways to trap it but again you’d need someone to absolutely believe you and that’s not going to happen. And you clearly know that it hides in doorways so why would you walk towards one? I can’t even….

Now when it comes to the Boogeyman, he seems a bit weaker than you’d expect. In most of these horror films they tend to skew too far into the other direction where the monster is completely unstoppable so I’m not entirely opposed to this but the Boogeyman seems like he could be defeated by a single well equipped soldier. He’s not immune to fire or explosions and even bullets seem like they would be enough to put him down if you have solid rounds. Now you could make the case for a lot of vague powers for this guy since he does seem to move with incredible speed. Maybe slight teleportation or sheer invisibility but when we see him the monster seems more like a Xenomorph. Relying on physical abilities to get the job done.

Again the design is cool (When we actually see it which is very rare in the film) but it doesn’t really feel like the Boogeyman. It also seems a bit ineffectual because of how it has a hard time actually defeating its opponents. It wasn’t able to finish off Sawyer in one on one combat and had a lot of trouble with the lady in the house. Even the guy who broke into Will’s house lasted a little while when you’d think that the fight would be over in an instant. No wonder the Boogeyman only goes after kids, it would be completely doomed against full adults after a while!

The film definitely starts off with a rather brutal moment but after that it’s fairly tame. It’s definitely not as violent as the average horror title and avoids a good amount of pitfalls. We even get a climax with a surprising amount of action. Although again I’m a little skeptical here, the creature couldn’t have just finished off the 2 characters before Sadie showed up? You have to suspend a lot of disbelief for the whole climax because as cool as it looked, the power levels didn’t really add up.

Overall, I actually thought this film was fairly solid. It’s not the scariest title out there since it feels like a thriller for the most part but the characters are solid. All of the scenes at school tend to be annoying and the friends are all bad but this felt like a well crafted horror title. The ending is a bit weak since I was expecting a strong twist/cliffhanger moment to end things with a bang but I’ll take what I can get. I’d recommend checking this one out if you’re interested in seeing a modern take on the Boogeyman. Just be warned that it’s not much of a man in this one and just feels more like a classic creature.

Overall 6/10

30 Days of Night Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

So what’ve we got here? Vampires? Check! Ultra violence? Check! Horror movie??? Check! Yeah this is a recipe for disaster and I’m here to report that the movie holds absolutely nothing back. It’s going for the Gold Trophy in overall edge and violence and absolutely earns it without any real competition. There’s not much positive to say about this movie so strap in folks because we’re going for a ride!

The story takes place in Alaska right before the ominous 30 days of no sunlight. Most people head out to wherever they live during these times while the rest prepare to brave the cold as they always do. These guys have been able to survive in these temperatures for ages and are confident they can pull it off again but things change when a mysterious guy shows up and causes trouble. The heroes lock him up but it’s unclear how he even got here. Also he says his crew is coming by soon to take everyone out. See it turns out the vampires are real and they are descending on the town to murder everyone. The heroes will have to hold them off for 30 days….yeah this won’t be easy.

Now there are some interesting things you can do with a plot like this. The concept of a survival film of the heroes using the terrain to their advantage and trying to survive is quite sound. But…it doesn’t work against vampires. See this movie should have either gone with normal humans as the enemy or creatures. I’ll explain. Lets say World War III happened and a bunch of enemy soldiers came into Alaska to murder everyone. It makes sense that the heroes would have the advantage with the cold and hiding in the houses. Likewise if you’re fighting a bunch of creatures you can also set up traps and such.

None of this applies to vampires because they all have super strength, speed, and endurance. You can’t really set traps for them when they can smell you from a whiles away and hear every little sound. When they attack the humans there isn’t even really a fight because they just tear them to shreds immediately. The whole survival aspect quickly becomes moot because the humans just get slaughtered each and every time. I felt like the film threw away the most interesting angle by making the enemies vampires.

Instead a good portion of the film is the heroes just hiding in a balcony as different characters get impatient and are eaten one after another. There are so many scenes where someone just gets attacked by a group of vampires, over and over again. The most annoying scene had to be when one of the older guys just had enough so he runs outside which forces others to go after him and then things go badly for the various characters. You’re putting everyone at risk when you do selfish stuff like that. There’s no way that would ever be worth it but in the moment the character just doesn’t care.

The film tries to throw in a quick romance subplot with Eben and Stella who had been going through a rough patch but this situation forces them to have to be together for a while and potentially get past their issues. It doesn’t really have much of a purpose in the film and there’s no real time for it anyway. I’d say I just wanted to get back to the action but in a way I guess this beats those parts.

See, the film is trying to be as violent as possible so the vampires biting people is actually a lot more explicit and dragged out than normal. I already don’t like blood sucking and this is more like Werewolves with how they chomp on the humans. They even toy with/torture some of the humans before murdering them. There’s certainly a whole lot of blood throughout the film so this isn’t for the faint of heart. We do get a true fight scene near the end which was a nice change of pace. Even this one couldn’t resist a Mortal Kombat type finishing move but at least we did have true combat for a second there. The victor makes no sense given the power gap but hey the movie had to end at some point. I would have just written in some kind of extra weakness or an additional advantage that the human would have to shake things up. Now that would have been a good move.

Outside of everyone being murdered the film also adds in other dark themes like choosing to murder your friends and family or let them get eaten alive. Obviously it’s a lose-lose situation at that point but the idea is you’re basically pressured into a decision there. It’s always a rough one to have to watch. Then we also have the classic animal violence here as some animals are destroyed quite violently. Yeah there’s a story reason for this but it’s still an awful moment all around that should have been cut out.

The film won’t even let heroes get a painless death. One guy has the bright idea to blow himself up and a whole building rather than letting the vampires eat him. I completely get it too because that makes a lot of sense…then he ends up surviving the explosion. The character was shocked and I was as well. Like seriously guys? Naturally that gives the vampires time to gloat and then finish him off. The whole point was for him to avoid that so the film felt extra mean spirited there. There is no reason the character should have survived that, just give him the dignity of a quick death. That should have been on the table for him.

That’s just the tone of the film though. It’s not enough to slaughter the humans but it always has to be done with such ferocity and hopelessness for the humans. The vampire designs are intense I’ll give them that. You would absolutely feel intimidated to see one out in the wild because aside from the stats they just look really scary. The film delivers on that part and the atmosphere is definitely really intense.

I would even go as far as to say that the very beginning of the first act isn’t super bad. Before the animals die which is still very early in the film I’ll grant you that much. But we see everyone leaving and know that something is approaching. It’s a very ominous start but ultimately the film overplayed its hand of making the enemies basically invincible next to the main characters and that was the end of the game. All you need to even the odds is make it so that they are not bullet proof. One or two bullets can destroy them. Do that and suddenly we’re looking at a movie where the humans have a real chance and things can get interesting.

Overall, If you want to see a bunch of vampires slaughtering a bunch of defenseless humans then this is the film to check out. It reminds me a lot of pre arc Attack on Titan but at least there they had some semblance of a chance. The humans here can’t do much since guns don’t really help do anything other than buy time. The vampires are too powerful and also there are just too many of them. They really needed some kind of extra weakness to make this a lot closer. Something that would actually make this a very valid hunter vs prey type movie. Ultimately the movie isn’t able to make this premise work and is relentlessly brutal. Definitely skip it!

Overall 0/10

Tormented Review

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It’s time for a fairly emotional film with some supernatural intrigue thrown in. It’s definitely one where you don’t feel all that bad for the main character though and your sympathy wanes more and more as the film goes on. Ultimately this really works as a retro thriller of sorts and while it may not be the most well known film out there, it holds its own.

The movie starts with Tom getting ready to be married to his fiance. He’s been waiting a long time for this and he’s finally made it. Unfortunately a wrinkle arrives when his ex girlfriend Vi shows up to blackmail him. She will not let him go off with another girl and makes it clear that she will end his life socially if he tries. She gets a bit careless around the railing though and Tom decides not to save her from falling to her doom. He figures nobody will know that she died. There are just two things he could not account for. One is a shady boat owner named Nick who suspects what is going on here and the other is that Vi’s spirit tanked the fall and she still has not given up on ruining his life. How can he hope to deal with a ghost?

Now the film is a bit vague on exactly when Tom’s relationship with Vi took place. Since he really tries hard not to let Meg know about her, it does feel as though he was cheating on Meg at some point with this girl. Otherwise the easy thing is to just talk to Meg and explain that his ex is being crazy. The fact that Tom cannot do this is very suspect in itself. As for not saving Vi, well obviously he should have but given the circumstances and how quickly it happened, it’s not a death sentence for the protagonist morally.

That happens later on in the film as he gets more and more unhinged. Sure he is being haunted and all that but it’s definitely not an excuse that I would give him. Ultimately Tom is responsible for all of his actions and in the end he didn’t make the right ones. He could have handled things a lot better and since he did not, that means he just wasn’t cut out for the job. The ending is very suitable for him when you really think about it.

Vi is written as antagonistically as possible so she is a villain from the start. As a villain I would say she is fairly decent. She is really determined and stealing the wedding ring was just such a petty move that it works out really well. My only real question here is why she didn’t do more to directly get in Tom’s way. She can evidently touch the real world and make herself solid so there’s no end to the things she could do. Beating Tom up or kidnapping him for example is very much within her tool house. I wouldn’t say any of these are negatives though because you could validly say that she was just toying with him the whole time and that works too.

Meg isn’t as solid as the main heroine mainly because she is a little too oblivious and puts up with too much the whole time. When Tom is starting to act crazy, running off by himself and such she needed to ask more questions. From her point of view the guy should have seemed absolutely crazy and while she had some doubts at one point, she basically just talks herself out of them. I cut the kid (Sandy) more slack because of how young she is. There’s just not much she can do about the situation and she doesn’t see as many of these moments first hand until the very ending. At that point, yeah she ends up changing her mind which made sense. So Sandy was more on top of things here.

My favorite character has to be Nick though. He’s the perfect balance between being shady and an evil mastermind the whole time. Don’t those things go together most of the time? Eh maybe but it still feels like the right way to describe him. He goes around giving a lot of tough talk to Tom and always has a handle on things. The only point where he falters is in the very end which is arguably the worst spot to falter. The guy does make a very dumb move in following Tom to an abandoned location. If you’re blackmailing someone you have to be prepared for every kind of response. Surely a violent response is one of the first ones that you are ready for right? He never seemed to entertain the idea that someone who already murdered one person may want to add another body to that count.

It was a little hard to believe. Either way the writing for the film is really solid beyond that. The movie has good pacing and the suspense works out well as you’re not sure how each character is going to turn out by the time this is all over. There are a lot of ways the plot could go after all and the ending really stuck the landing which was good. The ending is really a determining factor in a movie like this after all. So no complaints on my end, full steam ahead!

Overall, Tormented is a pretty good movie. It may not be the most explosive and exciting but it works well as a slow burn. I’m not sure if you’re meant to root for the main character or not. I’m thinking you are but personally I wasn’t on his side from the start. At least to me the guy seemed guilty just based on how he handled it all. So in the end everyone is probably better off with how things went by the end. Ghost stories can really be a lot of fun and this one really worked out. If you haven’t seen it yet, I’d recommend changing that.

Overall 7/10

I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time to end the trilogy of horror in the Summer series. The titles always get pretty interesting with this one but it’s basically just your average horror. Nothing’s really going on beyond the mass murders here and none of the characters are likable. So what you have is just a long journey of watching them all get picked off one by one which doesn’t make for the most engaging experience.

The movie starts off with some teenager drama as Amber and her boyfriend Colby decide to make a long distance relationship work but first they’re going to spend one last July 4th with the crew. They pull off a prank making the whole town think there is some kind of serial killer on the loose but things get a little too close to home when one of them actually dies during the prank. They cover this up and then go their separate ways. Time passes and the next year arrives with Amber meeting up with Colby in town but he didn’t tell her he would be there so it’s sort of like they’ve unofficially broken up. None of the gang even remotely likes each other anymore but they have to band together one last time because the murderer they faked may actually be a real person now. Is it someone trying to expose the murder they had covered up?

From there on it’s time for everyone to start taking massive Ls against the villains. It’s not really surprising that it goes this way either because they were outgunned from the jump. Usually in these films you have to find an excuse to scatter the main characters but that isn’t needed here because of how much they hate each other. They threaten each other more than once and constantly split up. At one point Colby heads off to go drink by himself knowing full well by this point in the movie that the body count was rather large and still not caring about this at all. It’s definitely one of the worst moves you can make.

There is one decision that is even worse though. At one point the teens finally come up with their first reasonable plan. They will all hop in a car together, pick a direction and just keep on driving. The murders seem to be leading up to July 4th which is when they covered up the murder so they just make sure they’re in a different state by then. They can always return later or choose not too, but that should keep them safe right? The film takes great pains to explain that this wouldn’t have worked by the end but ignoring that, this is actually a really good plan.

If you take away the classic trope of the slasher villain being super fast and all knowing, there isn’t really a counter to this plan. Even if he can grab a vehicle he won’t be able to follow them quick enough before they’re past the border. Then at that point as long as they don’t do anything ignorant, they can stay off the grid for a while. Change their names or go far enough away where it won’t matter. The problem of course is that this plan was too good so one of the characters complains that she has to go out and perform in a rock band real quick first.

She knows full well that the villain is going to make his move now since it’ll be July 4th but she is prioritizing the concert? I know scouts will be there and that it’s a big deal but it still makes absolutely no sense so stay. It’s one of those scenes that will definitely have you rolling your eyes the whole time because it just makes no sense. There’s basically no way that anyone would have made that move.

It’s not like these films are really known for their writing or anything but that was still crazy. The film has its share of twists as the whole thing is part mystery after all. The identity of the villain is definitely a game changer but unfortunately it also does make the experience a little more pointless. The film actually gives us a real climax with some action and everything but due to how the plot goes, it doesn’t matter a whole lot. Ultimately you know that there is just no way for the heroes to pull this off.

The twist ending is a classic horror staple and this one has an ending like that but it’s basically the bare minimum. Sort of like the writer shrugging and figuring “welllll they’d probably like to see this ending sooo..here ya go” but there’s no creativity or inspiration here. I suppose you could say that for most of the film but it’s still not a great look. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, this is definitely not a high quality film and what’s more…I’d say it’s definitely a skip straight up.

The film suffers from the usual slasher issues like being overly violent with all of the kills. The film gets as gratuitous as possible. In part that’s probably why every character is written to be super unlikable so you don’t feel as bad for them but that’s not a winning strategy in the slightest. I also think that the culprit should have been someone else. Now that may have made some of the scenes in this movie a little harder to buy but you were probably going to have to stretch some disbelief here anyway. So just knock all of that out in one shot and then you’re in a much better position.

Overall, I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer is a pretty bad movie. It’s really just hitting all of the beats without adding anything to them. It’s going through the motions in the most robotic way possible. It’ll quickly fade into obscurity as just another slasher film. I’ll give tiny props for actually having the heroes try to fight the villain near the end instead of just running and tripping but there are very few positives to be had here. You just won’t be having a whole lot of fun during this title. I still can’t believe not even one character decided to just drive off and leave town. It’s the easiest solution for 90% of these films which is why most movies actually make an effort to prevent this from being an option. Like there’s no roads or there’s an avalanche or something. This film had no such excuse.

Overall 1/10

Homicidal Review

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It’s time for a film with a very intense title. I mean just seeing a film that is called Homicidal you are expecting something real intense right? Well the film definitely delivers on the intensity in terms of a crazy twist but is surprisingly not nearly as violent as I expected. That’s a very good thing of course but the film still has its own share of issues and I wouldn’t call it one of the top contenders.

The movie starts with Emily showing up to a rich hotel and asking the bellhop to come to her room. He does and she says she will pay him a ton of money to marry her for a few minutes. He agrees and drives with her to a late marriage shop but suddenly she whips out the knife and no diffs the marriage ceremony leader. She then escapes into the night and heads home where she takes care of an old lady who can unfortunately no longer walk or talk. So Emily basically just gloats and subtlety threatens her the whole time.

This sets the tone for what kind of character Emily is and then we’re introduced to the rest of the cast. First up is Miriam who is looking forward to her future as she has a boyfriend now and her flowers are doing well. She finds Miriam to be a bit standoffish but that’s fine. Miriam does get annoyed when Emily just randomly leaves the house for a day so Miriam has to watch over the old lady and then Emily even threatens to murder Miriam. So Miriam tells her guy and they confront Emily’s brother Warren who seems like he couldn’t care less. With diplomatic options not doing much good, what can the main characters do about this?

The problem in a sense is that the heroes can’t just leave so easily. For starters there is the old lady to consider and even if Emily is evil, Warren may just be getting suckered as the brother. So they need to try and convince him before it is too late but the longer this goes on, the more likely it is that somebody will end up dying. So is it time to call the police or something? Well that would be the smart thing to do…but the film has a really bad reason for why they don’t.

One guy runs for the phone but Miriam stops him and explains that Emily said she is married to Warren. The guy basically goes “Shoot, guess we can’t call the cops” and they completely change gears. The obvious question is…why? That shouldn’t matter at all. If they want to spare Warren’s feelings then I’m afraid their priorities are all out of whack. If Emily is someone who is dangerous and insane enough to threaten someone’s life then you need to get rid of her as soon as possible. Half measures and dancing around the issue won’t help at all. Miriam definitely fumbled the ball here.

If anything she looks pretty bad throughout and the ending doesn’t help her much either. Of course all of this is easier from the viewer’s chair where you see everything and understand the stakes but it felt like she never properly registered how crazy Emily was. At least by the time she threw out the threat you gotta leave town or arm yourself properly. It’s just a shame that nobody in the town could see how deranged she was considering just how she was barely even trying to hide it. She just kept on acting crazy.

Where the film goes a bit far is with including the old lady. I think this was really unnecessary as the whole thing is overly tragic. She literally can’t talk or yell out for help and is trapped with Emily for basically the whole film? It’s a little too edgy and is the only place where the film didn’t restrain itself enough. Cutting her out of the movie entirely would have been a lot better and you can easily write around that. Then you have the fact that the old lady tries to signal to the others and do other things to call out for help and none of it works.

Nahhh that’s just tragic. Ultimately the film may not be as disturbing and intense as it was trying to be but that was definitely something that was real intense just not in the best way. There are some scenes that I thought were a bit surreal/didn’t make a lot of sense but the final twist did address those. Nothing could address the moment about not calling the cops though, that’s just something you have to do.

Also with the opening scene it was weird how nobody tried to help the guy getting stabbed. Surely the bellhop could have grabbed the knife and restrained Emily after the first hit or two right? They just stood around while she kept on stabbing over and over again. That was way too much to be frozen with fear like that. He’s real lucky that she didn’t finish him off. I was completely expecting that but somehow he actually survived along with all of the money but definitely some degree of trauma. So he’s not 100% but that’s still way better than most of the characters’ fates here.

Overall, While I applaud the film in having some good restraint, it’s still not a particularly pleasant film. Any scene with the old lady is just not fun to watch. The characters make a lot of very illogical decisions and the whole thing should not have played out the way that it did. You could easily improve the quality with just a few changes but this is how it had to be. Hey, it does completely destroy Psycho though so I will give the film that. It actually beats the original film that this one was supposed to top. The twist is also really good. It’s a twist that makes a lot of sense in hindsight but doesn’t really occur to you as you’re watching. That’s the best kind of twist since it should absolutely make sense afterwards and the fact that you get to see in real time how most of the visual parts of the twist work is impressive.

Overall 3/10