Tag Archives: Suspense

Bill & Ted Face the Music Review

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It’s time for the next Bill & Ted movie to jump in. That being said, I would have to say that it is the weakest one in the series. The main mistake if you ask me is that it doesn’t focus on Bill & Ted enough and they are still the best characters in the film. The subplot of their daughters running around assembling a team feels a lot weaker in comparison. The film will still have a good amount of funny moments to keep you going but you do feel like it is just missing something that the first two had.

The movie starts with Bill and Ted in a bit of a jam. They have not been able to create the legendary song that will stop the universe from blowing up and now they only have a few hours left. They figure their only chance is to travel to the future where their future selves have already created the song and then steal it from them. It’s a pretty clever plan that might just work. While they’re gone, Billie and Thea decide to help out as well. So they go across time to grab the best musicians from across the multiverse so when Bill and Ted find the song, they will have the best people playing it. The only thing standing in their way is Dennis, a Terminator type robot from the future who is doing his best to try and destroy them. A single blast is all it would take so they need to try and stay one step ahead of him or it’s all over.

Now the films have always been more on the comedic side and lean on being as absurd as possible but the first two films did still have more of a sense of danger about them. For example we already had evil doppelganger androids on the prowl. They were actually kind of serious and did effectively take out the main duo. Dennis is a major step down because the guy has big confidence issues and always doubts himself. Sure he can fight and use the lasers but he’s not proud about that. He would rather not be in the limelight and so he spends the whole film doing a lot of whining. He’s got to be the most annoying character here.

Then I would say Kelly isn’t a great replacement for Rufus. She tries to help the heroes out and spends most of the film using the “I told you so!” approach but she doesn’t have his charisma. In general she just doesn’t feel quite as on top of things. She is younger so that makes sense to an extent but you’re already seeing how all of the angles are just a bit weaker than the first two films. This continues with Billie and Thea.

So in theory these two characters exist to futureproof the series. They could take over the reigns if Bill and Ted get too old or the movies have a hard time getting the actors back. The problem is that they are so heavily introduced as being just like Bill and Ted that they don’t have much going for them. Their banter and dynamic certainly doesn’t match the original’s and right now I don’t see them being able to do much fighting when necessary. They are overshadowed in all of their scenes and so far just aren’t all that funny.

So once again it’s up to Bill and Ted to carry the film. To their credit they do a really good job of that. The Bill and Ted scenes are still a lot of fun as they mess everything up and are always confused. It’s always extreme but you never feel bored. For example when they are in the counseling session and trying to make things right with their wives. They suggest some solutions and do so with absolute confidence which you love to see. It’s obvious that they’re going up the wrong tree but it’s all about the confidence in their delivery.

The movie is just at its best when it’s about these two messing around and isn’t trying to get serious or emotional. The few serious scenes we do get can’t quite compete. For example the climax of finally playing the big song doesn’t work all that effectively. Perhaps it’s just played too directly without any kind of subversion but either way I’d have done a few more gags instead.

The music in general is okay but nothing all that exciting. The best piece of music in the film is likely the electric guitar that the main characters play once in a while. The actual songs got a bit too experimental this time so they weren’t all that catchy or anything like that. It’s easy to see why nobody likes their music in universe. They just don’t sound all that great or really know how to get a steady beat going. There wasn’t much for the legendary musicians to do either. They show up to help but their music doesn’t sound incredible either because they aren’t given much to play.

In the end the film should have really leaned into Bill and Ted having one last adventure. They can absolutely hold their own film and have already done so in the past. Mix in the fun time travelling and unique method to solve it and you have a lot of fun elements here. With more time for this subplot we could have seen them explore more of these alternate futures a bit more. It would be a win all the way through and likely enough to jump it up a star or two. A comedy film is only as good as the amount of humor it’s got in store after all and this one just wasn’t as consistently funny as it needed to be.

Overall, Bill and Ted may have its moments here and there but for the most part it really is just a big step down from the first two titles. Any scene you enjoy here has likely already been done but in a more impressive fashion in the first two films. This one is trying to juggle a little too much and as a result that means it has to really delegate the screen time between all of the characters. I’m not surprised that everyone turned on the main duo but you’d think the council would have been keeping in contact with them a bit sooner so this wasn’t a surprise at the end. Considering that the end of the universe is at stake you’d think they would be doing everything possible in order to help out. I guess that wasn’t to be though. In the end the film’s pretty harmless fun so it’s an easy one to recommend if you want something to check out but it could have been a whole lot better.

Overall 5/10

Lifeboat Review

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When you’ve got the whole cast stranded in one location you definitely need to make sure that the writing is engaging or you’re going to be in for a really rough time. Fortunately this movie is up to the task and it ends up being a fun adventure. I do think having more locations would have made it more fun but the time doesn’t drag and there’s still a lot happening here. The film reminds you that you never want to be stranded with anyone for too long or things could get dicey.

The movie kicks off with a ship being bombed by the Germans and only a handful of people survive. They all have to huddle together on one of the big lifeboats that was around. They all fit in rather comfortably at least to the point where they can all stretch and even play card games. Still, there is the issue of how the food and water are quickly going so they can’t survive like this forever. Additionally one German washed up onto the boat and some of the crew want to quickly throw him overboard while others think this would be morally bankrupt. The tensions only continue to grow as the film goes on. Will they all be able to keep it together?

Being stuck with strangers for a few minutes can be tough, let alone whole days. When you consider that the characters can’t shower or anything the whole place would be hot and hard to breath in. So the characters being in a bad mood makes sense. Even without Willi (The German) around I’m sure things would have been really tough. Kovac believes he is the best person to be leader of the craft and takes a rather aggressive/threatening tone about it. Gus gets drunk rather easily and he has a spot of bad luck which sidelines him the whole film.

If all of the characters were at 100% health that would help too but of course that’s not really how things play out. While Kovac can be unreasonable at times, he does make for a good central character. He’s solid enough but the whole romance plot was pretty bad. He really can’t stand Connie’s jewelry to the point where he refuses to be nice to her as a result. How can you make a good romance out of that? It seems to me that no romance would really be starting on a ship like this so you should cut out this one and the other one that was happening.

It’s a do or die situation and everyone needs to stay focused! Meanwhile Rittenhouse was my favorite character because he keeps his composure more than the others. He at least tries to be the voice of reason in all of this and only gets upset when Kovac begins to obviously cheat at cards. Yeah definitely another knock against Kovac since he was rubbing this in Rittenhouse’s face and was generally being a delinquent. It reminds you not to trust him at all.

Connie is usually the focus of his rage though because she tends to talk a whole lot and so she gets on everyone’s nerves. You’d think she would tone this down after a bit but I guess she’s a bold character. Things really go rotten for Connie the whole time as she loses her camera and basically everything else by the end. Of course surviving is the most important thing but you feel like the characters are a bit meaner than needed. The whole scene with the fishing hook was just downright tragic.

Gus was more on the annoying side. I know he was drunk for part of the film after the operation but even so he was always getting into trouble. Kovac and the others had a point that if his girl was going to leave him because he couldn’t dance then she probably wasn’t a keeper anyway. Of course he tries to turn this into a fight. Now personally if I was him I would have said no to the amputation. Mainly because I absolutely would not trust Willi for a single moment. Like seriously that guy could try anything and you’re giving him a blade? Also, maybe the leg doesn’t actually need to go.

So yeah I definitely wouldn’t have gone through with that. As for Willi, Kovac is on his case the whole time. He’s definitely determined to get Willi off the boa and doesn’t give him much of a chance so it’s ironic how the film keeps showing how the lead was actually right. You know that feeling when someone is right but for the wrong reasons? That’s basically Kovac the whole time and things really keep escalating with Willi messing with everyone for a whole long while before the ending. I’d say his plot ends on a pretty good note with the crew making the right call but it sure took a while.

In general I’d say the film had a strong ending. Perhaps a bit mean spirited towards Connie but it was otherwise solid around the board. The movie had a good plot and the writing was on point. I would say it lags behind some of the other Hitchcock movies in part because of the limited setting and also it’s not really a mystery the way that the others are. There is less replay value here as well because there’s not a whole lot of story. The fun is seeing how the characters handle the situation but once you’ve seen it once there is really no reason to ever watch it again. I’d say that’s probably true for a lot of single location films like this one.

Overall, Lifeboat is a good movie. I had a fun time with it and it’s really a tough spot to be in. If you’re ever trapped in the middle of the ocean like this then you instinctively know that yours odds of surviving are very low. At that point you’re really just waiting for the inevitable and hoping that something can change that. Especially since at that point you’re likely going to die from starving, dehydration, or drowning. All of which are really rough ways to go out.

Overall 6/10

The Trial Review

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The Trial is definitely a very unique film because the whole thing is really crazy from start to finish. A short story is played before the movie starts about how the logic of a dream can always be hard to follow and that seems to be what they are going for with this film. Things don’t tend to make sense and it’s like a scene out of the Twilight Zone. It makes for a pretty fun adventure even if it does drag on a bit towards the end.

The movie starts with Josef K waking up to find that a bunch of people are in the room with him. They seem to be detectives…possibly but they don’t identify themselves. They cryptically tell Josef that he’s under suspicion of something but won’t mention any details. Josef just knows that he will be arrested soon and his coworkers aren’t being very helpful about this. He has a crush on his next door neighbor but she’s a lady of the night and so bad rumors have been spread around her. At least Josef is allowed to go to work while he is being accused but what can he really do to clear his name when he doesn’t know the charges?

Right from the start things are going batty but I would say that is where the film is at its strongest. The beginning is incredibly memorable. The whole film has a very spooky atmosphere to it but this has to be the scariest scene because you have to wonder if he is even able to leave the room. What’s waiting for him outside those doors? In theory it’s all normal outside those doors but after everything that has been going on it’s just hard to say for sure. The world seems very empty, nobody is on his side..well he has his uncle I guess.

It’s almost like Josef has entered a big conspiracy that he doesn’t remember joining. He makes for a pretty good main character for the most part but as the film goes on he starts to lose his willpower a bit. Of course he liked Ms. Burstner but then he lets himself get seduced by the mistress of his lawyer who seems to enjoy hearing about her adventures. Josef ends up not really having a lot of self respect for himself here. Sure he might be about to die here but even so he doesn’t need to go through with these affairs.

The “romance” if you can call it that is pretty weak here. It doesn’t really help with the trippy vibe or do anything to enhance the plot. It’s just sort of around and I would have cut that part out in order to save some time. It’s not like there’s any real emotion to this either which is part of the gag. Burstner was practically falling asleep when Josef was trying to get together with her which is rather embarrassing if you think about it.

At least Josef didn’t let this break him though. One character is thoroughly broken to the point where he kneels before the lawyer and degrades himself. Seriously that guy was a lost cause. After a point you may as well just face prison or the execution room instead of allowing yourself to be manipulated by this guy. If you’ve lost all your self respect then will your life really be as satisfying and complete as you had hoped?

I’ll give Hastler credit of course because somehow he pulled this off. He got clients who are so desperate for his help that they would do anything and that’s a skill in itself. He also was just an entertaining character in general as he was just chilling while everyone was so stressed out. The guy had fun just running his mouth the whole time and you really didn’t know how much if anything of what he was saying was actually true or not. There just wasn’t any way to tell.

Then the film will randomly introduce minor characters who don’t actually add anything to the plot. For example Josef’s younger cousin who shows up randomly and then vanishes as soon as she had appeared. You have this lady with a robotic leg helping pack Burstner’s things and then she doesn’t really appear again. Even Grubach sort of vanishes after the opening scenes. Characters will disappear and then reappear as needed but sometimes they won’t reappear at all so this way you’re always kept guessing. The police detectives from the start of the film looked pretty tough but then things go downhill for them after that.

I’m sure people have probably written long essays explaining exactly what happened here but for the most part I feel like you can come to your own conclusions. You can absolutely analyze what was going on and make some kind of full story out of it but part of the fun is in how vague the whole thing is. I feel like this whole movie is a dream but of course it’s more fun if we take it as being very literal. In that case Josef probably was framed as some kind of huge conspiracy. I guess he made some very powerful enemies and that’s a good way to just vanish unexpectedly.

As mentioned earlier my only real issue with the film is that it does drag a little bit. The first half is a lot more exciting in a lot of ways because you’re being introduced to the world and how crazy it is. You get to be as shocked as Josef is at how things are playing out. Somewhere towards the middle of the film it just doesn’t have the same wow factor going on so while crazy things are still happening, it’s not as crazy as that bold intro. The ending definitely keeps the crazy factor in though so that was good.

I wouldn’t mind seeing more films operating on dream logic like this. You still need quality writing to pull it off so it doesn’t ultimately feel pointless or boring after all. You can probably allow it to be a little pointless but you need to be entertained all the way through. Ultimately Josef probably should have just tried fighting these guys. In dreams people usually can’t fight as much so mow through them and reclaim your freedom!

Now in terms of the story I’ll give my quick interpretation here. So the way I see it, one of Josef’s coworkers was jealous of him. Probably the nosy one who was snooping through the neighbor’s room. That guy also had a crush on her so he needed to bump Josef off which he did by giving the cops some incriminating evidence that Josef was dealing drugs. That’s why they were searching his apartment. Additionally the reason they let him go back to work was so they could find where he had the stash. I think it works about as well as you can do it with all these variables here.

Overall, Dreams are a blast when you have them but it’s hard to summon a dream on command. So watching a film like this is definitely the next best option. It may not be perfect but it’s very entertaining and that’s what counts. You definitely need to go into it with the right mindset but if you do then I think you’ll have a good time. I’m sure it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but that’s how it goes with being unique. This really could have turned into a horror film if the writers wanted to go that way so I think there’s potential for that within this crazy sub genre of sorts.

Overall 6/10

St Elmo’s Fire Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a particularly brutal film. When you think of a dramatic romance film this is the kind of title that comes to mind because it’s so over the top that you’re going to be cringing a whole lot. None of the characters are likable in the slightest and the whole thing is like an out of control fire. Trust me you’re going to want to stay far away from this one.

The movie starts by introducing us to a group of teenagers. They have a very complicated interpersonal relationship structure going on. They’re having affairs with each other, living their life, and crushing hearts all at the same time. After graduating school they figure they can still be friends but that is quickly found to be impossible. There are just too many relationship dramas going on and for at least one character it may even be life threatening. Is there any way to salvage this?

All the characters here are awful but I guess we should still break this down a bit. First up is Kirby who is a super desperate guy. He likes one girl who basically never gives him the time of day but each time he thinks he can win her over. He always overanalyzes what she says and now thinks that he needs to get rich and then she’ll go out with him. Of course he should ask himself why he is chasing after her like this. If she is only going to get together with him if he’s rich…then is that really love? Of course there are some conversations online about how gold digging is actually really good and the strongest bond but I feel like that is mostly hopium and not rooted in any facts. Regardless this guy is extremely annoying. Kirby has a lot of competition for worst character along with all his friends but the guy doesn’t do himself any favors.

Then you have Jules who is trying to have an affair with her boss but things aren’t going so well. She’s also leading on another guy who is having troubles of his own and ultimately this leads to her getting really depressed and nearly ending it all. It’s definitely a rough situation all around and while she may have dug herself into this situation, you do feel bad for her. It’s just that the whole movie is so overly dramatic that it all doesn’t hit as well. Even while she is about to die, her “friends” are fighting with each other and one nearly gets thrown off the building. Not a good look right?

The problem is that they’re all cheating on each other with others so it’s only natural that none of them can trust each other. Then there’s Billy who is really messing around by being with everyone and has gone in with the wrong crowd. He’s way too off the deep end and has a bad attitude about everything. Even when characters try to help him out and get him a job he has no gratitude. You can’t really help a character like that.

There’s Wendy who is the nice character but ultimately she makes a lot of mistakes in the relationships as well and cracks by the end. Honestly the best thing you can do in this situation is to get away from the other characters as fast as possible. I dare say that almost anyone would be dragged into the mud along with them after enough exposure. It’s why it’s so important to choose your friends wisely because otherwise you will just begin to get corrupted as a person as well and then there is no coming back from that. I mean you can come back from that but of course it gets difficult.

There are a bunch of other teenagers here but ultimately the characters are going to start blending together. They’re already sounding a bit similar in the summaries above right? Well one last one to put a spotlight on is Kevin because he’s particularly bad. So he fell in love with Leslie a long time ago but never had enough courage to mention this so he’s basically been her “friend” for ages. Finally he gets drunk enough to confess and they have a quick affair but the whole thing is basically a summation of the worst Hollywood romance tropes.

First off you have the classic idea that any “friend” is always secretly looking to get together with you the instant that you drop your guard. That was definitely rough here, like really? Then the girl was easy enough where they did have a fling which ends up adding a lot of tension since her other boyfriend shows up later on. Ultimately if you like your friend like that then you have to confess early on or keep the secret to the grave. If you stretch it out then you’re basically taking advantage since all the times you were hanging out platonically, it wasn’t actually platonic. This guy just felt way too whiny the whole time.

Needless to say I didn’t find the writing in the film to be particularly impressive. With no likable characters to root for, the film was always going to be very limited in what it could pull off. You need at least one great character around or else the whole thing’s kind of pointless. There’s a ton of drama here but all of the problems are basically self inflicted wounds by the characters in putting themselves in these scenarios. The film starts to drag and it goes without saying that the romances here are awful. In short the movie doesn’t give you any real reason to enjoy it.

Overall, I definitely recommend staying far away from this film. The whole film is a fire in a sense so I guess I can give them some props for living up to the premise but that’s it. There are no redeeming factors about the movie and at no point will you be entertained. This one desperately needs a remake from the ground up that changes everything about it, but at that point it’s basically a different film anyway.

Overall 1/10

All the King’s Men Review

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This is one of those films where everyone cracks in the end but ultimately you just figure that someone should stay strong by the end. In the end nobody can stop the allure of money, fame, or general power. It’s a pretty entertaining film the whole way through and definitely one that I would consider to be on the tragic side as well. It shows just how quickly things can start to snowball when you’re on the wrong side.

The movie starts off with Jack being sent on a mission to cover some political goings on in a small town. It’s basically run like a mafia where you can’t talk against the people in charge or they will start to try to bully and scare you into leaving. It’s certainly not an easy town to beat but one man named Willie Stark wants to make a difference. He loses in his bid to join the council and then loses his bid to become governor but something changes within him. 4 years later he runs for governor and this time he wins. The guy has a lot of fire to him and is a passionate spokesperson. Still, is he really the same man fighting for the common folk or did he lose something along the way?

There’s an old saying about how the only way to climb to the top is to use the skeletons in your closet as footholds. Basically you’re going to be accumulating a whole lot of them as you make shady deals in order to stay one step ahead. While the saying is likely a bit dramatic, that’s effectively what happens here. Willie always had some edge to him but by and large he had good intentions. Then he got more and more desperate to the point where becoming governor became his dream more for the sake of doing it than for actually helping people anymore. Perhaps he was still better than the opposing party but at this point it was going to be hard to tell them apart because they ended up being the same kind of people.

It’s pretty crazy how Willie started using his power to beat people up, murder them, and even to cheat on his wife. The guy had absolutely 0 moral scruples by this point and yet his friends just went along with it for the greater good. That’s why the supporting characters are annoying here because they are all complicit in what’s going on. They ended up going along with this plan even when they knew it wasn’t right and never really tried to talk some sense into him. Sure, halfheartedly they would say something here or there but I mean just standing up to him and saying straight up that this was a bad idea. If he could have turned over a new leaf sooner then that would have been a really good thing.

In the end Willie is basically a big antagonist here. He’s an interesting character to watch as we really saw his whole journey but yeah he was just another mobster by the end. It’s just rare that you get to see the origin of how he rose up like this. He’s also a charismatic main character so you can see how some of the other people in the movie would be fooled. You have to keep your guard up at all times. His secretary Sadie should have kept her guard up around her feelings and then the whole thing would have been less emotional for her. Basically she liked him but never really stood a chance since he likes to mess around which would just make her more and more upset. It would have been a toxic dynamic either way.

Jack was the main character for a while although you can argue that the role does shift between him and Willie at times. It can always be close at the very least. Jack isn’t very likable here though because the guy just doesn’t have a backbone. When Willie starts an affair with the girl he’s always loved (Anne) he doesn’t do anything about it. He still works for Willie and while he’ll throw in some insults once in a while, he doesn’t just leave. Leaving could be easier said than done but you have to rip the band-aid off at some point and how can you work for the guy who took your girl? It just doesn’t make any sense.

He also straddles the fence for way too long before actually choosing a side and a lot of damage is done in the meantime. Of course Anne doesn’t look good for any of this either and ultimately she enjoyed being rich way too much. She didn’t seem to care who she would be with as long as she had stature and money. So Anne felt very insincere and Jack was probably a bit too desperate in trying to be together with her. She didn’t exactly have his back when he had to leave his parents’ house in disgrace and so even if she were to come back to him once he had money, it just wouldn’t be worth it.

Then you have the Judge who had a great reputation and always tried to do the right thing. Unfortunately one of the messages in the film is about how everyone has made at least one big mistake and unfortunately that was true of him as well. We never actually learn exactly what he did and I would say that’s a style change that works well. We don’t have to know exactly what he did to know that it was easily recognizable and that it was something really bad. It’s so bad that the Judge basically calls it quite at that point and it’s a shame because it would have been nice if he could have stayed true to the end.

Finally you have Adam who was the best character in the movie for me. He had a tough road as well but at the end of the day he tried to stay true to his sense of justice while helping out as many people as possible. It’s still a tricky road for him though and he has to watch all of the lives being lost all around him. Ultimately he continues to do what he thinks he has to by the end.

Overall, All the King’s Men is a pretty good movie. It’s got a bit of a jaded view on humanity and on how everyone will ultimately be corrupted in the end but beyond that I would say the execution is on point. Even as things keep on getting worse for the heroes you can’t help but wonder how things will play out next. The film is fairly long and so the journey really feels complete as we watch Willie from beginning to end. It shows just how much he has changed within that adventure to the point you can barely recognize him. It works well as a cautionary tale. I’d like for some of the characters to have been a little more likable and gotten off the train early but sometimes nobody actually steps up as they wait for someone else to do it.

Overall 7/10

Touch of Evil Review

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The Touch of Evil is one of those films where a whole lot of stress could have been avoided if the main characters talked to each other more. Whenever you’re in a hostile territory but don’t want to confide in each other that things aren’t going well, that’s when trouble really brews. The movie is fairly serious but then throws in quite a few comedic moments as well so it can be tough to say what tone it is going for at times. This one isn’t one of the better gangster films even if I do give it props for having more unique scenery compared to most.

The movie starts with the main characters getting ready to leave the border town between Mexico and the United States until a car blows up in front of them. The main character Miguel works as a prosecutor and is in the middle of a big case involving a gangster group so he can’t leave now. This is the villains’ turf so in case they are involved he will have to look into this. His wife Suzie isn’t quite as pleased since they should be going on their honeymoon and unfortunately she is now being targeted by the villains. It starts off as pure intimidation but the longer she remains, the more that may begin to change. Can the main guy solve the case in time?

So right off the bat here is one of the problems. The mafia wastes no time in summoning Susie over to make some veiled threats and she takes it well in talking tough back to them. My problem is after leaving she doesn’t tell Miguel what just transpired. I feel like you have to tell him so you’re both on the same page about the fact that the danger has arrived and it isn’t just a possible thing that could happen anymore. Later on they do this again by dropping off a threatening letter for her and she thinks about telling Miguel but opts not to. She had even been planning to leave for the American side of the border but decided not to after the threat. Telling Miguel could have caused him to play things differently.

He ends up dropping her off at a motel which is where she said she would stay but unfortunately it’s run by the villains so she ends up falling for their trap which ends up not going well as she is drugged and framed for doing this herself. I would argue that Miguel and even the cop who dropped her off should have been smarter about this though. Leaving her at a note like that just does not seem safe at all and of course it wasn’t. Even if the villains didn’t run the place it feels like that would not have been a particularly good idea.

Another complication here is Hank, a police captain who is determined to find the culprits for the bombing no matter what. The problem is that he will use less than legal means of getting a culprit and he always gets a culprit, even if he has to make up some proof. Hank is definitely very corrupt and while the end of the film tries to give him some credit with his instincts, you still can’t take the law into your hands when you’re an officer like that. The instant he did this he was definitely setting himself up for a lot of trouble. He makes for a good villain but it’s hard to see him as anything more than that no matter what his intentions were. I can’t say I felt sympathetic for him at all.

The most random plot here is the night custodian working at the motel. He is extremely afraid for his life the entire time he appears and so everyone pushes him around. I suppose he has probably seen a lot of things since he started working here but all of his actions just felt very exaggerated. The movie could have stood to tone this character down a bit to make him more realistic. It can be fine to have a character who completely clashes with the tone of the movie of course but at the end of the day this guy just wasn’t very funny so that immediately defeated the whole purpose of his character. Someone like this would have a better chance of succeeding if he was not related to the serious events in the movie.

In general I think the film had an issue with balancing the comedic and serious bits. The villains for example appear as comic relief for decently large chunks of the film as they run around and get into trouble but then they suddenly get rather serious near the end when they drug Suzie or when they nearly melt the main character with a vial of acid. So the movie was really all over the place in a lot of ways and maybe all the terrible decisions that the heroes made was supposed to play into that somehow. Like you’re meant to realize they are bad decisions although I never got that implication from the movie so I don’t know about that.

Overall, The Touch of Evil has an interesting setup with a crime at the border so both sides want a piece of the action. The place definitely wasn’t the safest with a gang running around but at least by the end of the film that group will be a lot weaker. The main characters could have handled all of this a lot better than they did though and I feel like some of the villains really got off completely free. We never saw the whole mafia group get arrested after they attacked Suzie and that would have made the ending a lot more complete. The atmosphere is on point but in the end this film really falls in the middle on the spectrum of good and bad movies. A better ending could have helped it rise up.

Overall 5/10

Foreign Correspondent Review

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Now we’ve got a good retro spy film to discuss. This is always the way to go if you want some quality entertainment. You usually have a good sense for how things will play out but the characters and dialogue are almost always on point. This film is no exception and so there is a good bit of fun to be had here all the way through. The pacing is good and by the end you had a fun time which is the key thing here.

The movie starts with John the reporter being tasked with a special mission. He’s going to be a foreign correspondent for his newspaper and find out the secret details going on abroad that nobody knows about. The boss figures he is the perfect guy because John could not care less about foreign affairs. He doesn’t even know any of the guys involved and so he’s definitely qualified to give a very unbiased look on if the world is close to a world war or not. Still when he gets there John ends up getting embroiled in a much bigger controversy than he ever could have imagined.

As you can maybe tell from the ending this movie takes place a little before World War 1. It makes for an interesting backdrop as there are some tensions brewing but nothing has actually happened yet so America is mostly out of the loop. This ties in well to the ending which takes a fairly bold stance. It’s an effective ending although while it works for dramatic effect I do think two characters should have cut out a bit early. Like say your message real quick but then get out of there because ultimately if you die too soon then you won’t be able to help out further which would be a big issue. In theory you want to get the right mix of spreading your message and staying alive.

John is one of those fairly cocky main characters who figures he can do anything. This mission will be child’s play since he has been such a star reporter all these years right? Well, that’s what he figured but you know that it may not be so easy. Throughout the adventure he has to deal with assassins and trying not to get kidnapped which can be draining. There was one assassin in particular named Rowley who was apparently really good at his job but also used to humor a bit. When the guy appeared you couldn’t help but chuckle because he’s super old and not a fighter. Basically what he would do is just push you at the last second into traffic or off a building. That’s what he does and to his credit since it works so much I suppose it is a valid strategy.

John gets out of danger most times but not every time. Ultimately there is only so much he can do and he is captured at one point. He always keeps his spirits up though and looks pretty good here. Then you have Carol as the main heroine. They don’t get along great at first but eventually they become allies. She is someone who has already gotten involved in the world of politics and has grand ambitions of her own. Since she sees John doesn’t take them seriously that is why there is some tension at first. She does end up helping quite a bit during the film.

There is a rookie mistake John makes later on though when he sees someone being kept prisoner in the hidden entrance to a windmill but leaves to tell the cops. Naturally by the time he returns the guy is gone and the whole thing looked like John was insane. You can’t ever leave the scene of a crime because it just won’t be there when you return. You have to try and stay one step ahead of the villains or you’ll quickly fall behind. Eh…that sounds a bit too obvious right? But you get what I’m saying.

Another positive I’d say for the film is how many different locations we go to. The characters drive through the desert, fly in a plane, get trapped at sea, go to parties, etc. It felt like something was always happening here and the pacing was very fast. I’m not sure how long this film was but it felt like a fairly long one in a good way. It didn’t drag on or anything. If anything I would say that it just makes some iffy decisions near the end which don’t really help matters.

First off you have Stephen who is one of the main antagonists of the film. He is helping the Germans and setting up murders and kidnappings for them. He does a lot of really bad things and it’s heavily implied that he has done a lot more off screen. So by the end the film has the characters give him way more credit than he deserves. Without getting into specifics he does one nice thing which ends up saving some lives but you have to consider that doing something nice doesn’t make up for being an evil person. It just doesn’t. Sure it’s great that in a high stress moment he did something fairly selfless but the guy was fairly unrepentant up to then and the sheer scale of his crimes were staggering. I think the world deserved to know the truth rather than John and the team attempting to suppress everything before Carol stopped them.

Meanwhile there is an old man named Van who is really put through the wringer in this film. The guy gets tortured and it’s rough seeing an old man have to go through that. At that age you’re hoping that the rest of life will be more like easy street as opposed to everything getting so tough. I think the film should have cut that torture out, maybe just mention or imply it instead but it was a rather dark moment in a film that was otherwise pretty light.

The ending is definitely intense as mentioned earlier and so the film really managed to accomplish a lot. It shows just how much a reporter can do on his own to try and spread some news and help the heroes out. Ultimately John did his part and at least in this film’s timeline he was pretty instrumental in the end. His boss did a good job by selecting him for the assignment. I’d have enjoyed seeing more of him because the opening scene in the news office was fun. Ultimately that was just the vehicle for setting up the adventure but it was cool either way.

Overall, The Foreign Correspondent is a good film. It’s one I hadn’t heard of before and I do think to an extent it will likely be lost in the shuffle compared to other films which are simply better but the important thing is that this is a good film though. Through and through it is one that I can recommend. There aren’t a ton of films about reporters running around to get a scoop but you could definitely use this as a blueprint to set more of those up.

Overall 6/10

Kiss Me Deadly Review

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Kiss Me Deadly is an interesting noir title in that you are effectively watching a villain as the lead. Not saying Mike is downright evil or anything but he is basically a shady guy who ends up getting tangled with the actual crime syndicate and that ends up leading to a whole lot of trouble. The story is good but it is another title that is held back by the main character. It can also get a bit gritty and gruesome for an old school noir title like this.

The movie starts off with Mike on a drive when he comes across a lady who is running for her life. She says her name is Christina and to drop her off at the next bus stop and then to forget her. However, if they don’t make it, then he must remember her. Unfortunately the two are captured by a group of villains who torture Christina to death and nearly bump Mike off too but they get sloppy and he survives the encounter. Mike has no idea what is even going on but he figures it has to be something big when he is questioned by the cops right away. The mysterious villains also start to threaten him into dropping the case so now he wants to look into it more.

Mike runs a bit of a shady business where he tries to find proof on if a husband or wife is cheating on the other. He has a secretary who takes care of the seducing while he begins to work on playing both parties against each other. It’s definitely not the most noble kind of work and the cops call him out on it but Mike doesn’t care. He will keep doing this so he can get more and more money as needed. This is one of the reasons why you just find it hard to root for the guy. His secretary Velda even basically begs him to let her stop doing this kind of work but he refuses which really tells you what kind of guy he is.

Now there are some fun parts to this. When the villains show up to intimidate him, Mike is able to respond in kind and doesn’t fold so easily. The guy makes threats of his own and has a lot of shady connections throughout the city. So that part is pretty neat and it makes for an interesting wrinkle into the mix but at the same time it just doesn’t erase the less desirable traits he has. It’s just too bad he couldn’t keep the tough attitude while beating up the enemies but still staying somewhat heroic. It would have really worked well. By the end he ultimately starts looking rather sad and defeated as he finally tells the cops that he was out of his depth. It wasn’t a great way for his journey to end.

The early torture scene was also really intense. Definitely not the way you expect to start this film off. For the most part it’s got a rather sullen atmosphere and it’s more about how everyone appears to be suspicious but it’s not generally all that dark or violent. Perhaps they wanted to start the film off with a bang but they definitely could have chosen a less gruesome way to do this. Additionally if you’re friends with the lead then you’re probably doomed but that’s usually how it goes.

The dialogue here is sharp as always though. I love all the veiled threats and how everyone is talking really tough. There is a lot of sarcasm thrown around and the fact that Mike is so tough does lend itself well to the banter. All of those things are good points within the movie. It definitely goes by rather quickly even though it is a long movie. It all feels like one well connected adventure and that element of the story, the lead having a lot of connections is one that they should bring back. Mike may be a questionable private investigator but he is still a PI so when the villains go after him it’s nice that he has some way to defend himself and figure out what is happening.

Meanwhile Velda definitely should have quit the business right away. Ultimately things are never going to go all that well for her in this business and so the sooner she gets out the better. Lily is an interesting character but again not one you would want to trust very much. She is always ready to put on the charm to try and get Mike to do what she wants but he’s not the kind of guy this will usually work for although he will enjoy the situation when it’s something he would have done anyway. She is desperate as she runs from the villains but that’s never really the approach you want to go with.

Mike’s friend Nick was a nice guy even though you knew he was doomed. I like that the guy always had Mike’s back at least and was eager to help. If anything Mike was using him since he didn’t really let Nick know just how dangerous this whole thing was. If he had been straight with Nick then things could have been different but Mike is all about using those who are close to him. Definitely a shame when you think about it.

The supporting characters were solid here. I liked the villain with the glasses who was always very polite but as one of the ringleaders of the villains you knew that he couldn’t be trusted. Definitely someone you had to be cautious with but the demeanor was pretty funny. Then there is the main cop who doesn’t get along with Mike at all. Their first impression was certainly lousy which didn’t help matters for either of them for a long while there. Still he was okay at his job. I think the cops could have ultimately done more on their end but it’s not like they had a lot of help either so they were on their own since Mike wasn’t cooperating.

The ending here definitely escalates really quickly though. The special effects for this were fun, it was like we suddenly entered a sci-fi movie or something. I wasn’t expecting that at all although in a way that’s why it worked. It just hits you like a sudden tank and that could have really tied in as a sequel with characters picking up the pieces. The film does work as another example of the viewer not knowing all the answers since we’re looking at things from the lead’s point of view though so I understand the appeal there.

Overall, I think a noir film that is basically villain against villain could be really good. The film would just need to lean into that more by having him be a full fledged villain. He certainly acts the part like when he shoves a drawer closed while someone’s hand is in it and slaps around a poor receptionist. This guy doesn’t play nice and won’t take no for an answer when he wants answers. You just need to do that without him sacrificing the main heroine’s dignity and I could also do without the torture. This ends up being a weaker noir title as a result and you’re better off skipping it for now.

Overall 4/10

The Alligator People Review

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Now this probably sounds like your classic run of the mill creature feature film but instead I would call it more of a drama. Sure there is a creature here but he doesn’t appear all that much and when he does it’s not like he’s all that much of a threat either. The guy has some extremely slight superhuman strength but even then I wouldn’t say that it is very high tier. You get a lot of running around and detective work though along with a human villain who is definitely more on the really weak side.

The film starts with Joyce and Paul being married. They figure that things are really looking up now and their lives will be perfect but all of a sudden Paul gets a letter that shakes him to the core. He quickly runs off the train they were on and vanishes into the wind. Joyce didn’t know anything about him beyond his name so she looked and looked until one day she finds his old address from when he was back in college. She heads to this old house in the middle of nowhere but the owners claim that they haven’t ever heard of him and that Jane should go. Well, Jane decides to stay along for the ride until she can find answers but will these answers prove to be too much for her?

First I have to say that Paul is a pretty awful character the whole time. Just running off when you’ve been married like this is absolutely insane. I don’t care if he’s turning into a gerbil, you have to stay there and explain things. He took the coward’s way out here and put Joyce in a ton of emotional turmoil. She had nothing to go off of and had to try for ages to find any leads to him. All of this could and should have been avoided. In the end it was his pride which got in the way here since he just didn’t want her to see him like this but that is no excuse at all. He just looks really bad no matter how you slice it and there was no coming back from this for him. Of course I’m glad he saves her later on from the other villain but she wouldn’t have been in that situation from the start if he had helped her.

Joyce gets a lot of credit here because she was basically walking into enemy territory in order to find her husband. She withstood all of the threats against her and just kept on fighting because she refused to give up. I think a lot of other characters would have folded by this point but she stayed strong and did not waiver in her convictions. This is the kind of character that you absolutely want to have on your side at all times. Now she does let out a yell and a bit of panic near the very end but I would say it was warranted and she would have quickly recovered if a certain other character didn’t jump the gun yet again. Yeah Joyce puts up with a whole lot in this title.

Then you have the main villain here Manon. He wants to destroy all gators after one bit his hand off a while back. Now he just lives for his revenge and it’s clear that he guy is extremely unhinged in all of his appearances. He’s always yelling and yelling and yelling. His goal of destroying all of the gators also comes off as extremely petty and then he ends up going into a whole new level of sick when he attacks Joyce. I was definitely not expecting that. I knew he was a villain here but that just didn’t seem like something he would do so that was definitely surprising and it did completely destroy his character.

Lavinia has a fairly big role since she is the master of the house. She has her secrets to be sure and wants Joyce out of there but ultimately isn’t in a position to force Joyce out. Joyce is physically more powerful than Lavinia after all and isn’t a pushover in the slightest. Then you have Dr. Mark who is good at the experiments but ultimately nobody is perfect and he needs more time. Paul keeps pressuring/threatening him to work quicker but to an extent you can only do this for so long before something backfires. As it is he may have also succeeded if not for someone messing up the tech.

As always the writing here is pretty good. I did like Chaney’s accent that he used for the film which worked rather seamlessly and I almost didn’t recognize him for most of the film. The pacing is good here and really the only thing that holds this movie back a lot of the time is just how most of the characters are no good. I liked Joyce but she was really the only very solid character here. Everyone else was either unlikable or made very questionable decisions the whole time. This film would have played out so much differently if Paul had just trusted his wife instead of dashing off into the great unknown the way that he did.

I should mention that most of the film is a flashback too and so in the present two doctors are deciding if they should give Joyce her memories back or not. They could do this with ease but are also worried that it could mess her up in the future. There isn’t a large debate on this as it’s mainly just used as an excuse for them to find out what she’s been through. Of course it’s fair to say that you absolutely should give her the memories back since they are a big part of who she is. They just need to do it carefully instead of making all those excuses. Yes her life is a lot happier now but knowing about the past now makes the doctors responsible for helping her remember it so that she can be complete again.

Overall, The Alligator People lacks the charm of a true creature feature because there is no monster or anything like that to defeat this time. The costume for the Alligator Man also isn’t the most impressive one around. It’s not going to strike fear into anyone’s heart after all. I liked seeing Joyce sleuth around and figure things out but ultimately for this film to have been better it also just needed more fun characters and some action. The Alligators also had me nervous with how much shooting was going on but fortunately they were careful in the end. I don’t think this one has a whole lot of replay value but as an initial watch it should keep your attention. It’s definitely not bad and it stays afloat long enough to stay right in the middle there.

Overall 5/10

Whatever Happened to Aunt Alice Review

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The title probably reminds you of the Baby Jane film right away. That one was definitely no good and this one also isn’t very solid although I would say it’s better than the former. This one only works because none of the characters are very smart and put themselves in a position to lose the whole time. It feels bad because you know that the characters had potential to accomplish big things in their life but never could because this was the end of their journey.

The film starts off with Claire being saddened because after her husband’s untimely death he didn’t leave her anything. She mis timed the moment as he had already taken out his life insurance and so now she is super poor. Claire figures she will start murdering everyone to keep her funds up and so she starts hiring maids only to bump them off afterwards. One day a lady named Alice appears and confirms she has no family or anyone who would miss her. Claire decides to hire her after that so she can get more money eventually. Alice has a little more spirit than the first few maids but is she really ready to handle such a powerful fighter?

Now your main suspension for disbelief here will be how this old lady is casually defeating everyone. It’s not like she is Master Genkai or anything like that. This is an old lady who can barely fight so each time her trick is to get the lady to walk into the grave with her back turned while Alice takes her out with a shovel. It’s pretty sad how easy this all is but at the same time once you’re in that position it would be hard to win. The fact is that you wouldn’t expect to be hit in the back of the head with a shovel so you aren’t prepared for that.

There is no excuse for one of the victims though. So here’s the scenario, the victim already knows that Claire is evil and is being chased around the house. Finally she knocks the knife out of Claire’s hands and gets her to the ground. She has 3 real options from this point forward. The first is to quickly end this by taking Claire down with one more hit, the second is to simply run away and get as far away as you can. The third is to grab the knife and then call the cops while keeping your eye on the villain. The victim chooses option 3 but the dumb version of it as she lets Claire keep the knife and completely gives her back as she grabs the phone. Naturally Claire capitalizes on this and pulls off the biggest comeback victory since the Patriots beat the Falcons in the Super Bowl. This was insane.

You never turn your back to a serial killer like that, particularly when they are armed. What was she thinking here? It was a really bad look and it’s just hard to believe that things would end like that. It was super annoying to put it mildly. Claire does a whole lot here when she should have been taken down ages ago. Surely you would be able to poke holes in her alibi of saying that each caretaker ran off when they were never seen again. Of course these were the days before internet so it gets trickier but there had to be better ways of handling this.

Claire is definitely evil through and through so don’t expect any kind of big redemption arc for her. She stands by all of her crimes and had absolutely no intentions of doing anything different. That’s just how she rolls. There are much easier and better ways of making money but she was never interested in those from the start. Meanwhile Alice was a decent character but didn’t always make the right moves. I liked that she could have a bit of a temper at times but on the other hand she didn’t do much with that. I was hoping she would actively challenge Claire more instead of just having a quick moment and immediately backing off. That’s never as impressive as she seems to think it is.

Her lies start getting more sloppy by the end too and it’s clear that she isn’t used to planning things out on the longterm. The ending could have been a lot more satisfying than how it turned out. Meanwhile there is a whole subplot with Harriet and her kid Jim but it feels like the two plots don’t have a lot to do with each other for the most part. You’ve got a little romance going with Mike and there’s a lot of drama there. You have the characters deciding if they should get together or not but you’re just waiting to get back to the main plot already.

There is a dog that shows up there for some big jump scares. If anything happened there that would have been super rough but fortunately it’s all fakeouts the whole time. I just don’t think there was much point in including Harriet and all the characters in that subplot. Sure, Mike sort of tied both plots together and they got to see Claire being suspicious the whole time but they were still defeated in the end. They didn’t really get to see through the lies and suspense very well at all. Instead they just became more sacrifices to be taken down in short order. Not a good look for them. Also, apparently Harriet’s old husband died a while back and while I don’t think they’ve said how long it’s been, it seems like an odd detail to add before starting up a romance. Makes the whole thing feel like a rebound.

In the end the problem with this film is that you can’t take it seriously. An old lady taking everyone down one at a time like this? it’s really hard to believe but the worst offender is the final victim for not staying alert. The previous maids also looked really bad in not standing up for themselves and just letting Claire walk all over them. I get that they needed the money and all but it’s just annoying to watch in every scene as they are insulted and humiliated but don’t do anything about it. Claire has way too much power the whole time.

Overall, This is a fairly mean spirited film. Characters don’t really think things through and it’s just crazy watching the whole story unfold. It doesn’t play out like it should and they probably should have gone all out with the crazy premise instead of taking it so seriously. You’re just not going to successfully make her a villain to be feared, not like this at any rate. I would definitely recommend skipping this one. The idea of an old lady bumping everyone off is executed as uneventfully and slow paced as you would expect. You’ve got better things you can do with your time.

Overall 3/10