Tag Archives: Thriller

Oujia: Origin of Evil Review

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When you have a movie about Ouija, the odds of it being good are super slim to none. There’s just not much you can do with this demonic board game and of course the whole premise tends to revolve around a bunch of annoying characters deciding to play it because they’re bored. Not a particularly good idea and things tend to spiral from there. This one does not try to shake up that formula in any way which is too bad. It’ll not go down in history as one of the all time greats.

The movie starts with Alice doing a spooky seance for an old man who wants to know if his wife would approve him doing a pretty bad transaction. Alice may not have powers but she does know how to scam people along with the help of her two daughters Lina and Doris. Ultimately the scam doesn’t go too well as they scare him a bit too much and Alice ends up not accepting his money. Ever since her husband died, she has had to take drastic measures in order to take care of her family and one of these measures was to become a professional scammer. She has everything set up around the house and she even decides to buy a Ouija board. The problem is that it comes with a free demon and this thing is now messing with Doris. Doris is now exhibiting supernatural powers but also becoming more sinister and violent. Can Alice do anything about this?

The two girls go to school where we have Father Tom at the ready so at least he has some spiritual defenses but unfortunately as it would usually appear, his powers aren’t as good as the villains. He’s basically defenseless when it counts. It’s too bad because he is a nice guy and definitely the best character in the film. He does his best to keep everyone in check and also doesn’t break his vows to start a romance with Alice who can seem a little desperate at times. He stays true to himself but ultimately isn’t a huge factor.

Alice is doing her best but at the end of the day I can’t cut her much slack for the scamming. Scamming is really a serious thing. It is one of those crimes that preys on the weak and that makes it even more dishonorable. It also takes her a long while to get with the program that these changes to Doris are pretty bad and have to be stopped.

Lina learns this earlier but in general is also a huge troublemaker so I wouldn’t say that she is a great character or anything like that. My first big gripe with her is how she keeps causing a ton of trouble and breaking the rules when she already knows that her mom is in a tough spot. The least she could do is be on her best behavior but instead she’s constantly flirting with a boy from school, breaking curfew, sneaking out the back, drinking alcohol, etc. Her rebellious phase came in a very big way and it’s definitely disappointing.

Then we have Doris who is super easy for the demon to manipulate. The instant she was talking about invisible friends and stuff the other characters should have shut it down but the sad thing is that it all would have been futile anyway. No matter what she could have done, the demon would have still overpowered her anyway. I will say that the movie does a pretty good job with the CG though. Whenever Doris is possessed she opens her mouth like a huge yawn but they really stretch it out. Think like when Goku was yelling while being crushed by Vegeta. Her mouth gets absolutely huge. Then you also have the possessed eyes although that’s more standard.

The movie’s effects were surprisingly good. I also liked the demon’s design. It looked like a fierce threat and something completely other worldly. That’s about the extent of the credit I can give to the film though. Beyond that like I said it’s just your average horror title. The humans are absolutely outmatched, the demon doesn’t really have much of a weakness, and so there’s nothing to really get invested in. When you know that all of the characters are completely doomed then that takes some of the enjoyment out of the whole thing.

With more likable characters you could at least try something but again, they were all super annoying. That one guy who was trying after Lina was just way too much the whole time so you don’t feel as bad for him as you could have. The whole whispering into the ear trick that the demon does is also a bit on the silly side. Alice’s husband has the idea to staple the villain’s mouth shut but that’s not even a good plan because it involves you needing to be strong enough to overcome the demon in the first place. You need incredible amounts of plot armor for that to even come close to working so it’s barely even a plan at all.

Why can’t he just possess an object or a person and help fight the demon? He is apparently good enough to mess with a little doll so he can affect the real world to a small extent. He’s just got to do a whole lot better than that. I also think Tom should have called the Vatican to send an exorcist over as soon as he knew that something was wrong with the daughter. How much more proof do you need once she is writing in other languages and acting so crazy? He decides to go to the house first and let them know…which is a terrible idea. He knows that she has supernatural powers now so how would that possibly help?

Overall, Ouija definitely has a swing and a miss here. It wasn’t a particularly enjoyable film and one of these days they need to have the heroes fight back a little more. Of course that would mean not having the demon possess a little kid this time. I feel like it usually tends to be the kids but if you pick an adult then we can have some fights. Give the demon some form of a weakness or limitation so that the fights can matter as well. As long as we’re stuck in this cycle, the films will continue to stumble their way to the finish line.

Overall 2/10

Curse of the Black Widow Review

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This has to be one of the weirdest films I’ve ever seen. The tone is absolutely all over the place, the soundtrack has 0 consistency, the plot is super convoluted with a ton of twists, the main character looks like Vince from WWE, there are tons of crazy facial expressions, we have a surprising amount of world building for no reason, and there is even some sequel bait. This film just could not calm down and while it starts to get a bit tiring by the second half, I just have to appreciate the ambition. I actually think there was a ton of creativity here and a whole lot of possibilities to make this into a great film. It couldn’t quite get there and I have my share of issues but it was better than I was expecting.

So the movie starts off with Mark at the bar having a bunch of drinks when a beautiful lady shows up and asks for one of the men to escort her to the car. Specifically she only wants one of the guys so Mark goes back to his drink wishing that he was selected. He would quickly change his tune though as they hear yelling and when he heads outside, the guy has been murdered and the lady is nowhere to be seen. It turns out that her name is Valerie and now she is a suspect in the murder. Mark is hired by a lady named Leigh who explains that she was the guy’s girlfriend. The police suspect that she is behind this because her excuse of not showing up to meet her boyfriend as planned was one of the flimsiest that we’ve heard. Basically the rain was too hard. Mark decides to take up the case and he’s about to fall into a whole conspiracy of craziness.

Okay so the first thing that will stand out here is the strong soundtrack. You have a lot of really fast paced jingles and the movie is generally going for a very energetic vibe. Things are just popping and it really doesn’t match the scary vibe the movie is going for. Yeah sometimes the film will get a little quiet and it will try to get ominous but by then it’s just way too late. I liked the music though, it may not be all that fitting most of the time but it does liven things up which is always cool.

Then Mark also has a ton of facial expressions all the time with a bunch of zoom ins here and there. He is visibly shocked by just about everything and doesn’t even know the basics about spiders. This guy doesn’t seem like he would be a particularly good detective and I can imagine him getting emotionally involved with all of his clients. He seemed a little too eager to take up Leigh’s offer after all and then later on he starts to get a bit jealous at the dance. He doesn’t strike me as a very upstanding guy and is someone you’d probably be better off avoiding the whole time.

Still, he does have that obnoxious kind of personality that lets him strong arm anyone who gets in his way. He has a lot of connections and even members of the cops are ready to help him. We learn about the women who are able to turn into spiders and have super abilities among other such legends. He is really hard pressed to believe any of it for a good while but finally comes around after the proof is truly undeniable.

I liked the chief of police, Gully. Yeah he doesn’t always make the best decisions and probably keeps the situation a little too tight lipped but what I can respect about him is that he doesn’t back down. Mark can bully most of the side characters along to his whims but not this guy. No sirrrrr, Gully is here for the long haul and gets the final say. That’s the kind of guy you want in charge of the investigation.

Now, another area I have to give the film props in is with the subplot at the house where you have Laura and a kid. This plot randomly showed up near the beginning of the movie and had nothing to do with anything. Then wayyyyy later on it returns and still seems to be out of place. They’re talking about secrets, Leigh is involved, etc. It’s only by the end where we get a machine gun styled swarm of twist after twist. The plots end up converging but it took so long that I actually started to think that the film forgot about it. Yeah that would be crazy but I did start to really consider it.

Honestly, the film would be better off without any of that anyway. It’s the weakest part of the film by far. I preferred to have this mysterious lady going around bumping men off for rejecting her. That’s a much scarier premise than having all the family drama and learning everything about the past. I don’t want to know more about the character, I want to just focus on how to stop her. We have this one guy who easily seduces the lady and every scene with him is absolutely painful. You’re just rooting for someone to transform into a spider and eat him already.

Also the film gets some kudos for having the first guys to actually have some class. It feels like in almost every film, the guy will buckle immediately if a pretty woman so much as talks to him. Doesn’t matter if he’s married or engaged, he just starts blubbering like a fool and cheats immediately. Not the case this time! The first two girls actually turn Valerie down which is why they are absolutely crushed. I appreciated the resolve there. Would have been nice if they could fight too but let me not get greedy. It was just a nice change of pace to see.

Also this is a better vampire film than most vampire titles and that’s even without having any kind of vampire in it. We still had the blood sucking but it was generally not on screen and the way it was handled with the tendrils was way better than biting the neck. Spiders just have a more pleasant way of going about things.

Overall, Curse of the Black Widow is an absolutely wild ride. It’s crazy just how much is going on and it’s all so rapid. Even with that, the second half does drag on a bit with all the exposition and twists. I super did not care about anything that was happening there and wanted to go back to the mystery. That’s what they should have focused on and the movie would have been better off for it. At the end of the day I wouldn’t recommend the film, it made too many mistakes. Still, it was considerably better than I expected and you see so many missed opportunities that it hurts, but you can feel the ambition. The movie took a wide swing and while it missed, it was a fair effort.

Overall 4/10

Corridors of Blood Review

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This is one of those films that will make you shake your head. The characters make a lot of dicey decisions but in particular the main character really doesn’t look very smart at all. You’ll have a hard time believing that he is a scientist of any sort. He just keeps on making so many wrong turns that you definitely have to put a lot of active blame on him. Without him, the villains would not have gotten nearly as far as they did.

The movie starts by introducing us to Thomas who is known as the greatest surgeon in the business. This guy can handle operations very quickly which minimizes the pain to the patient. Still, he is not satisfied. There has to be a way to knock the patient out before conducting a large scale operation and he is determined to find this path. He experiments with a bunch of drugs and formulas to try and get the timing down but doesn’t use any assistants. So he drugs himself and the side effects are rather strong. He bungles his way into Black Ben’s hideout where the guy steals his notebook and forces a partnership. Thomas will now need to team up with these crooks in order to continue. Is this really worth it?

Naturally the goal of inventing anesthesia is a very good one. I can’t imagine going through most operations without something to knock me out. Pain on that level is just scary to even think about. It’s pretty rough seeing the people yelling on the tables as they’re chopped up. So you sympathize with Thomas but he doesn’t act much like a professional with how he runs tests on himself without anybody around to document the effects. That’s why you have more than one person in general. You need someone who can witness what is going on and give you an unbiased account of the events. Additionally, you can’t trust your own recollection or memory since at times you will be completely under. Trying to do this on his own was a fool’s errand from the jump.

Then even that might not have been so bad if he could lock the doors or something until he was completely sober. Instead he wanders around outside and gets into trouble. The whole scene of him getting pickpocketed is super embarrassing. Then even once he’s in his right mind, it was rather easy to convince him to help out. Thomas figures that trading the lives of a few people and some dead bodies is worth it for science but it’s a slippery slope. Naturally these villains continue to get worse and worse.

So I didn’t like Thomas in the end. He ended up just giving the villains too much leeway. His son wasn’t much better with how he didn’t even try to think of any ideas. His wife probably could have warned Thomas more as well on the risks involved with the science, but she isn’t a scientist so I put the least amount of blame on her. In the end, the best hero by far was Inspector Donovan. Finally we had someone with a little sense around here. I was glad when he pointed out that the time to act was now. He busted through with his men and really made short work of the villains.

The inspector didn’t appear much in the film but was definitely a scene stealer if I’ve ever seen one! As for the villains, they’re all rather annoying and super smug the whole time. Resurrection Joe is randomly one of those guys trying to attack women out of the blue and it was the kind of scene we definitely did not need in this film. It certainly set the stage for how morally bankrupt the villains are but we already knew that. I don’t get why the girl kept on working there after that. Throughout the film she half heartedly asks what’s going on and the others just give her the runaround, victim blame her, or just tell her to get lost.

Meanwhile Black Ben’s girl is just smirking and laughing the whole time. She really doesn’t do much beyond that and unfortunately the main character just takes it the whole time. Black Ben is also one of those smirking type figures who always knows that he’s in the lead. Once the chips are down though, he folds like the rest. Definitely not much to these villains, I’d almost have preferred if the surgeon had a Jekyll and Hyde situation with the drug although I suppose that would be a tad generic so maybe this is for the best.

In the end, most of the troubles in this film felt really forced. Take Thomas’ failure near the beginning where he tries to drug someone but the guy wakes up early. It sounds to me like Thomas never experimented on anyone other than himself which is a dangerously low sample size. Surely he could have tried with his son and everything. Also, why not strap the guy down just in case? Even if to prevent him from moving in his sleep. Like I said, the guy made bad decision after bad decision over and over again.

It felt like the writers sort of had the outcome planned but weren’t sure on the steps to get there. So it’s like this was written backwards to allow for this to happen when it should have been done in order. So the writing’s not very good and I can’t say many positive things about the pacing either. It was a team effort that led this film to fail so everyone played their part.

Overall, Corridors of Blood is a film that I would not recommend. I was certainly not expecting a movie about inventing anesthesia so that was interesting but it could and should have been done so much better. This feels like a B grade crime thriller at best and it forgot all of the thrills at home. You should definitely skip out on this movie, it doesn’t really have anything to offer you. It will quickly be forgotten within the pages of time, never to be seen again.

Overall 4/10

Night Swim Review

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It’s time for a film about the horrors of swimming pools. I’ve got to admit that the premise does make you smirk a bit. Hey, with the right directing you can probably make anything scary, but why pick a swimming pool? That doesn’t seem like a great idea and in the end it didn’t really work out. It does beat some other horror films to be sure but it’s not going to be an all star hit or anything like that. No sirrrrrrrrr.

So the movie starts with a little kid swimming in the pool when a monster drags her under and she dies. We fast forward to the present where a family is moving in. Ray was a big baseball player but an injury forced him to leave the game for a while. His doctor recommended water therapy and so having a pool is a big help. It’s begun to heal his injuries really rapidly, abnormally so. Unfortunately weird stuff continue to happen with the pool and Ray is also acting erratically…almost as if he is possessed. Is the pool to blame or is something else going on here?

The pool demon is fortunately not all that tough though. Basically it can control water, using it to choke you or teleport within it and try to physically overpower you. It’s not all that tough and has low stamina so you can usually overpower it. The things that are tougher to get around is when it launches a sneak attack by making you trip using the water or by spilling glass everywhere. If you drink the water or let any of it go inside an open wound, then you’re basically dead at that point. So it has weaknesses at least but it’s still hard to get around since the pool water connects to the foundations beneath and so it can spread to a lot of water sources from there. You definitely want to watch out.

It appears to be a demon that revels in turning people against each other. For example, making a deal to save one of your kids if you sacrifice another one kind of thing. Aside from the fact that making a deal with a demon is always a bad idea, naturally this also only works if you actually trust the demon and why would you right? Also, sacrificing anyone is crazy right out of the gate. One character makes a deal in a flashback and that definitely didn’t go well. It shows just how evil some characters really are.

For a horror film, this one actually isn’t super violent at least. Some characters get sharp wounds and there is blood but it’s not all that excessive. So I would say it is fairly tame all things considered. If you are afraid of drowning then of course those scenes will be a lot more tense. It is definitely one of the worst ways to go so you can feel their fear there. The thing is, the film still had a hard time really keeping up the tension here. The movie just feels really slow paced with how long it takes for things to happen.

The shapeshifting water monster is also just not that impressive. A better core design would have been a good idea there. Also, the main characters are okay at best. The two kids Izzy and Elliot don’t really have anything going for them here. Eve at least has a fairly big role here as she keeps noticing weird things going on with the pool. Ultimately it’s one of those things where she isn’t really able to prove anything about it for quite a while but she’s sort of playing the detective here. Gathering the clues and learning about the shady history from the neighbors so that we have the answers for the ending. She is proactive about trying to stop the monster though and gets points there.

Ray loses the points for the most part here since he is constantly losing to his dark impulses. The monster takes him over rather easily and has him mind controlled for large parts of the film. I will always take shots at a character who is manipulated this easily, particularly when it is against his own family. You just can’t let that happen, at the end of the day your biggest duty is to protect your family and so if you can’t do that then it’s over. He should have found some way to keep on going or at least get away from the pool. The fact that he couldn’t is a big knock against him.

The rest of the town was pretty reasonable at least. The one family didn’t press charges despite Ray acting pretty crazy and the Baseball team seemed fun. I could have had fun seeing more practices and sports happening. There is a mild romance plot with Izzy that feels completely pointless though. The whole marco polo scare sequence was really stretched out and it’s a huge suspension of disbelief. When someone’s not playing the game properly then you just end it. You don’t keep your eyes closed and just wait forever. Also, how could she not tell that his voice dropped so hard into a deep, mysterious voice? The monster sounded nothing like him and yet she could not tell the difference at all. If it was meant to sound like him and that was just for the movie audience then that’s not particularly good writing on the film’s part.

The characters definitely don’t make the smartest moves here at all. Also, the scene where Ray nearly drowns the one kid by not moving is also super weird because he was just playing a game with another family. The pool is also absolutely packed with a ton of people in it. It’s a big pool, but it’s not huge. How did nobody notice until it was so late? A guy who wasn’t even in the pool was the first to jump in and help out which is crazy. At most you would have needed to show the monster was using reality warping to move everyone away or something. Some weird time displacement but that isn’t implied so it just seems like a weird issue. This film definitely wasn’t always focused on the writing that’s for sure.

Overall, I think this film probably would have been more interesting without the horror stuff. Remove the monster and just make it a movie about Ray rehabilitating his injury and coming to terms with the fact that he isn’t a top player anymore. Along the way Izzy would learn not to be having shady relationships in secret and Ray’s son would learn how to gain some confidence in playing Baseball because none of those mild subplots really went anywhere in this film. It feels like there would have been enough content for a slice of life movie like that instead of all the generic monster stuff.

Overall 4/10

Silver Bullet Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for another Werewolf movie! Uh oh, these don’t tend to be all that good most of the time and I’m afraid this title is no exception. You’re rather limited in what you can do with this kind of plot and the movie doesn’t really try and branch out. Everyone is systematically taken down and crushed by the rampaging beast while the heroes try to find a way to overpower it. It won’t be easy though since two of them are kids and the adult tends to be drunk most of the time. Not the strongest trio to save the day.

The film opens up by introducing us to a small town that is quite happy. Everyone gets along and it tends to be rather peaceful around here. Crime just doesn’t happen and when one person is destroyed, they assume it must have been an accident. When two more people get bumped off, they figure there’s a crazy killer on the loose. The problem is that the bodies continue to pile up and there are no real leads. Marty suggests that it could be a werewolf but his uncle Red doesn’t take him all that seriously. Still, Red has decided to protect his family and prepares himself with a silver bullet. Between the actual bullet and Marty’s wheelchair which is also known as the silver bullet, they can defeat any form of evil that appears to cause any trouble.

One of the ways the film immediately tries to lose points by is making the whole cast pretty unlikable. Most of the characters who were bumped off at the beginning are rather unlikable like the bully kid and the alcoholic guy. Then you have someone who was in a scandal because she had an affair with someone. I don’t remember the guard doing anything shifty at the beginning though so that was tough luck. Then among the survivors, well Red is definitely not a great role model so it’s not like he’s going to be a great character. You can’t put him in the same conversation as the others but he still could have been better.

Marty means well but should have defended the heroine more from the pranks near the beginning of the film. It wasn’t really a good look for him and of course he is in a wheelchair so it’s not like he can move around as well as the other characters but I feel like he still could have done something here. At least he does well with the whole Werewolf issue. Marty knows how to drive around on his super wheelchair pretty well, he can even outrun several cars. That takes a lot of skill for a kid to pull this off and he makes it look easy.

The film’s tone isn’t quite as grim as you would expect even with everyone getting bumped off. I think I was expecting it to all be very serious but the film has its share of humor as well. The music randomly gets happy at times too and everything. It can be a little weird to be sure but it could have worked out if the film was better at that. Like throw in some puns and everything and make this part parody. That may have actually worked out better.

After all, this version still has a lot of violence so that isn’t going to help matters. The Werewolf takes a lot of injuries before going down and of course the victims all get brutal ends as well. I think the worst part here for them is that Werewolves are hardly all powerful. Even without a silver bullet you can at least wound and slow one down. The fact that they all panicked with their guns and didn’t shoot until it was too late was awful. The whole point of having a gun is so you can shoot it when the going gets tough. These guys absolutely fumbled the bag in every possible way here.

I would have liked to have seen more of the town meetings because to me that was the strongest part. Have them debate on how to handle this crisis. The sheriff tries talking against the whole community justice because it can get out of hand but in terms of the debate I would say he lost that one. He couldn’t really think of any reasons not to have it that would justify having the town wait on standby. There were already too many victims for that. I think what he should have done was to accept it, but coordinate who goes where himself. That would at least keep it controlled to a degree. It probably wouldn’t have made much of a difference against the Werewolf but that would have been my plan at least.

Also, the writing can be really dicey at times. So the main characters know that the werewolf will be targeting them in the climax. In fact, they know the exact day he will be attacking. So they barricade themselves at home and get ready. Then in the 11th hour, Red starts letting his guard down and even saying the kids should go to bed. He’s ready to fight them over it and doubts it when the girl says she saw a Werewolf. That was just crazy and it’s the kind of scene that would work well if this was a full on parody but we know it isn’t. So that was just bizarre, there’s no way you would even think of sending the kids to bed when the monster could be showing up any second now.

Overall, Silver Bullet is definitely not a good film. It’s a far cry from 1408 which was a whole lot more interesting from the King adaptions. This one is just super basic without anything really going for it. There are no characters that you really want to follow. The most interesting is probably the reverend and he doesn’t get a whole lot to do. The main characters could use a lot of work before they would really be all that likable. The film is definitely quite violent with everyone getting bumped off but lacks purpose beyond that. I would say to definitely skip this one and in general, continue to skip werewolf movies as they aren’t quite up to par yet. This one didn’t even bother with a big plot twist ending which was annoying.

Overall 2/10

A Quiet Place Part II Review

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You know that feeling when a movie has a really huge climax, bumps all the best characters off and has an ending that is just open/closed enough where you don’t need a sequel because you can fill in the blanks? But then they announce a sequel anyway? That’s basically this film and it sets it at a disadvantage right from the gate. How can they possibly hope to match the first film when the main guy was already bumped off. The short answer is that at least on the characters front they are completely unable to recover.

The sequel starts off with a flashback that shows how the main characters first met the aliens. They showed up out of nowhere and began terrorizing everybody. They were fast and just overwhelmed this small town. They may have a lot of weaknesses like sound and not being fully bullet proof but for a little spot they are still strong enough to dominate. I have major doubts about them being able to take over the world or anything like that but that’s for another time. It’s a pretty good flashback and I would actually say it is more interesting than the rest of the film. It reminds you of why the main character was solid and knew what to do. He didn’t hesitate at all and leapt right into action. That’s the true sign of a hero.

So in the present Evelyn, Regan, and Marcus are still trying to survive. They locate another survivor named Emmett and ask for shelter but he refuses since they will take up far too much resources and humanity is already on its last legs. They also have a baby around which makes things even worse since it needs oxygen and cries a lot. Unfortunately Regan overhears a signal and realizes she can find more survivors so she heads out without much of a plan or defenses. This forces Emmett to go after her. Meanwhile Marcus doesn’t really watch where he is going and gets wrecked quickly by a trap. He’ll be out of commission for most of the film and Evelyn has to watch out for him while worrying about Regan. What can they do?

With such a rag tag group of survivors I dare say they should have been taken out ages ago. They’re just an extremely loud bunch even if some of the events are stuff they could not have predicted like Marcus falling into a trap and Regan running off on her own. Yeah they’ve got the sound machine and a gun but these creatures move incredibly fast. You just get the feeling that they would have the edge in combat. We actually see the heroes beat a few of them and I was skeptical each time. The alien would generally slow down or miss when it shouldn’t have.

Now we know that the aliens do have a lot of weaknesses, sound, water, and generally any good weapon but even so, a bunch of kids aren’t going to do much here. I feel like the aliens were heavily nerfed in order to make the main characters look good and that’s a rather huge expense if you ask me. They just don’t have the same impact that they did in the first film and in the end that is something that often happens in sequels. I suppose it is unavoidable to an extent but can still be annoying.

As for the characters, I didn’t like Regan. I know that she meant well but her whole plan was completely irresponsible. Leaving without telling the others is super selfish because naturally they are going to have to go after her and put themselves in danger. Evelyn may be ready for action but she has a baby to worry about and Marcus who is still injured. They’re lucky that Emmett decided to help because he could have very well just left. Regan would have then been dead early on. The fact that things end up working out pretty well doesn’t retroactively make her plan good or anything like that. No, we still know that it was a bad plan and that is the big problem here.

Then I didn’t care much for Marcus either. He really just got in the way the whole time with all the yelling. Yeah it really hurts but this is a matter of life and death, you gotta stay strong. Also the first thing about being in a post apocalyptic world is that there is danger around every corner so you should be watching where you’re going. Locking himself in an air tight prison by mistake was also a really bad move. I won’t blame the baby too much for being annoying since there’s not much a baby can do though.

Evelyn was one of the only reasonable characters here. She’s at least trying her best to get through a tough situation. She has so many people to watch out for that she isn’t really able to stand out a whole lot but she doesn’t give up and that’s the important thing. Then we have Emmett who is also fairly reasonable. He’s one of those guys who talks really tough but ends up helping out in the end. There’s not a whole lot to say about him, I’d say the guy is very standard but hey that’s not a bad thing. Better to be generic than bad.

The film can be violent at times although not quite as violent as the last film. I would say it tends to move at a slower pace though and you do got for long portions of time without any real action. The movie’s biggest crime tends to be that it can just be a little boring here and there. Better characters would have done a world of good here but that’s just how the cookie crumbles in the end. I feel like the first film was a whole was a lot more engaging and did more with the premise but this one took a bit of a safer approach. Think of it as a stable ride while the other one was a roller coaster.

Overall, A Quiet Place Part II feels rather aimless for most of its journey. It’s just not as interesting as the first and we don’t really see the aliens as much as you’d think. It feels like the writers aren’t really sure where to go from here because the whole film feels like filler for the most part. Yeah we learn some things like the government’s island plan (RIP to everyone who was just minding their business there) but you could probably skip this film and not really miss much. For a film like this you should be learning more about how we are going to make a counter attack against the aliens or something. This is just a little too low level in terms of what the heroes are planning. I want to go back to the big picture but in the meantime the prequel should be fun to hopefully address my questions on how the aliens could have possibly defeated the military.

Overall 4/10

It Follows Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It Follows is one of those films that was going to have a lot of trouble right out of the jump because of its own premise. I’m sure you could pull it off in a tasteful way but what movie is gonna do that? The worst part is that the premise itself would actually be really solid if you changed one key plot point from the the story into something else. That would be an immediate jump but it was not to be.

The film starts off with a girl running around for a while before giving up and letting some kind of monster destroy her. We cut to the main character Jay who is living her ordinary school life. Things have been going well with her boyfriend Hugh and so she decides to allow things to go to the next stage. Unfortunately it was not a good idea, Hugh lets her know that by doing the deed with him, she is now going to be pursued by a supernatural monster. It can’t be stopped and it can’t be destroyed. All you can do is keep running away from it for all eternity…or pass the curse onto someone else. He runs off and when the cops get involved it turns out that “Hugh” was a fake name so it’ll be difficult to find him. Unfortunately the curse is very real so now Jay has a tough choice to make. Run or corrupt someone?

So you see where the premise is going to be annoying here. It’s a pretty obvious allegory and you get what they’re going for but if you picked any other method for transferring then this would be so much better. I like the idea of something that is pursuing you and will never stop. There’s a famous hypothetical about this of a snail chasing you across the world. One touch and you’re dead but in exchange you get 1 million a year. I think it sounds like a good bet because of how slow it is. In this movie that is the case as well, the creature is slow. It continues shapeshifting into different humans but can only move with the speed of a normal walk. I suppose it can jump far but that’s only once it is in range.

The main reason it is dangerous is because the main characters are teens and can’t afford to just be hiring an Uber all the time. That’s not the way this would play out. Also, everyone is naturally going to think you’re crazy for why you can’t just sleep at home and everything. I like that the rules aren’t super convenient for the villain either. Normal people can interact with the spirits, they just can’t see them. So what that means is you can have normal people try to beat them up. If you think of a good enough plan you can maybe prove its existence to the government although that plan is admittedly super high risk so I wouldn’t recommend it.

The monster also looks like just a normal person so you can’t really tell that it is the hunter until you notice that nobody else can see it. There’s also the fact that it is walking towards you but of course there are lots of reasons for normal people to walk towards you as well. Again, lots of interesting things to talk about with the premise itself and you could make a really good horror/thriller out of it. The movie doesn’t really make the best use of this story though.

So of course most of the characters are super annoying. Even after Jay has just been super traumatized after being drugged and betrayed by her boyfriend, you have at least 2 guys who are fairly eager to have fun with her as well. Yeah there’s the guise of doing it to help her out with the curse but admittedly I didn’t really buy that. Either way it’s not a great move for her to do this since that’s just dooming someone else. It’s also a rebound by definition since she would still be with Hugh if he hadn’t betrayed her. Even with the whole life or death thing going on, you just can’t move on that fast. The only heroine thing to do once you’ve obtained the curse is to either find a way to destroy the monster or to escape it forever. Passing it on is not a good idea.

We know the monster can be temporarily destroyed like when she shot it a bunch of times. The respawn takes a while so you could also try to have some kind of a trap and just keep murdering it every few hours once you get the timing down. With enough time there are plenty of things you can set up to get the monster. It has super strength but otherwise doesn’t have nearly the range of crazy powers that other horror monsters tend to have. So at least it does avoid my usual issue of the monster being completely unbeatable.

As a small aside, the characters are definitely way too kind and sympathetic to “Hugh” once they track him down. They all sit down and have a nice chat instead of immediately trying to beat him up and murder the guy. Why would you act nice to someone who has just doomed your friend to oblivion? The whole scene was annoying, get the info out of him and then beat the guy up or something. He’s clearly not a good guy and is definitely selfish to the max.

Another thing to note with the curse is that it seems like previous owners of the curse can still see the monsters. So in theory in some of the shadier parts of town you might have a whole community that can see them since the infection would spread quickly. That would make it even easier to stop the monster since it generally only cares about the next in line. So then you could still have like 20 people throwing stuff and firing guns or something. Anything would be better than the pool plan that they tried in the film. That whole sequence made me shake my head. Especially the main guy using the gun because he seemed to be terrible at following the action and understanding where the monster was. I thought it was pretty clear from how many objects he was tossing. Also, how do you start aiming at someone else? The monster is invisible so it’s hard to see how you would even come close to hitting one of the friends since she would be in clear view.

The characters did not really handle the monster particularly well but hey I suppose they are teens so you’re supposed to cut them some slack. It’s why you need to age the characters up quite a bit to make the film a lot more intense. Lets see the monster handle the grown ups trying to fight it out. Yeah the monster is strong but perhaps martial arts would be able to take it down. Ultimately there are a lot of question marks here which is fun because it makes the monster mysterious. Hopefully the next film just executes better on what is a fairly interesting premise.

Overall, It Follows had an interesting plot but really couldn’t make the most of it. You’d need a fresh set of characters for sure and also switch the method for obtaining the curse. Tone down all of the teen angst, loveless romance, and lets focus on how spooky it is to have monsters after you like this. I’d also like to get the government involved eventually because that would really add a whole lot to the story. It would really upgrade things for the better. In the meantime, I would say to avoid this film for now. There will be a better title with this plot eventually.

Overall 3/10

They Live Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a classic alien invasion title but with one big twist, what if they had already invaded? It’s a pretty clever film and one that has aged pretty well overall. I do have some issues with it that keep me from being able to completely recommend the title but on the whole I had a good time. The film knows how to have a good action scene when needed and of course that is crucial.

All right so the film starts off by introducing us to Nada who is homeless and just trying to get by right now. He finds a construction gig and gets to work but the people at the nearby church are acting a little strange. Nada busts in there and grabs a pair of glasses. When he puts them on, he is able to see the truth. Aliens have already infiltrated the Earth, posing as most of the rich people. The class wars have been manufactured! Every TV channel and radio program is giving subliminal messaging to make people lose their free will. The media is not on the side of the humans! Nada needs to quickly get some more people to the cause but is it already too late?

So yeah a very interesting premise right out of the gate here. I thought this was super interesting for sure. Nada isn’t always the best at handling his business though. For example after he gets his glasses, one of the first things he does is to start picking a fight with a nearby alien. That’s really not the best idea out there, like why would you even do that? Definitely a shaky decision at best. He does take out a number of them with his gun but the guy has no plan and is super outnumbered so eventually he has to retreat. We do get a reason for why he was acting so erratically later on though.

It turns out that the glasses work like a drug and give you an artificial high while you are wearing them. This means that you are going to be acting a little overconfident and then crash afterwards. Nada finds this out the hard way and is lucky that he survived after letting his guard down and having a lady named Holly shove him out of a window. The whole scene was super unexpected and at the same time, you do feel like Nada should have been more careful. He did literally keep her at home against her will as a prisoner so of course she would strike back as soon as possible. Anyone else would do the same in a heartbeat.

Where Nada looks worse is when he trusts her later on. Remember, we know that the big shots at the media company are in on this and she is one of the big supervisors. A little suspicious eh? She does make for a compelling character but just not someone that you should really be trusting at all. That is, as long as you have some kind of functioning survival instincts. If you don’t, then I can let you pass a little easier there.

Nada also has a long fight with Frank in order to convince him and while I think it was drawn out a little too much, I give the film points for its bravery here. I don’t think just about any film would really even try to have an action scene go on for this long. It’s just a crazy thing to even suggest and yet they pulled it off. That’s pretty impressive. The fight stops and starts so many times that it will probably fake you out at least 3-4 times. You wonder how either character can even stand up after that as it’s absolutely brutal.

In general the film isn’t so violent but that fight definitely gets real intense. There is a body count to be sure but this feels more like a summer blockbuster than a horror most of the time. So it doesn’t feel particularly gruesome even if you know it technically is on the back-end. The film does have some rather unnecessary fanservice though. They definitely could have gotten by without that. The film has its hiccups as I said, but on the whole the story is still engaging enough where you can get past that.

It also has a good degree of humor that works well with all of the serious moments. It’s never over the top goofy or anything like that to get you out of the mood but the heroes know how to banter and have a good time with each other throughout. It all comes down to this film having a lot of action and the runtime is also fairly short so you really have to move fast the whole time. I think this would make for a really good TV show. There are a lot of ways you could stretch it across multiple seasons because the sheer amount of moving parts if extensive. Then of course you could even have a whole saga about the events that take place after the ending. Clearly things are going to change a lot now and the question is if the humans can possibly win or if it’s too late. I feel like by this point it is probably too late for them but they can still last for a long while using guerilla warfare tactics.

Overall, They Live is a really interesting film. I do think aliens tend to make for a very interesting premise in general. Mix in the fact that they are shapeshifters who can appear as anyone and that becomes even more intense. The film isn’t really able to dive into every plot point here but that would be tough for any title to pull off because of how huge the actual storyline is the whole time. Either way I would recommend this title. It’s a storyline that we surprisingly don’t see as often as I would like so you really can’t pass up on any film like this. Even in real life they say you can never know someone 100%, well this film may make you a bit paranoid after that but it’s still worth the watch.

Overall 6/10

The Menu Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film about the dangers of high end restaurants. The premise is certainly fun and I remember really enjoying the trailer. There are parts of the film that do stretch your disbelief to quite a large extent though. I know the film is part comedy but I think it may be more appropriate to call it part parody. When you do that, it makes a bit more sense but regardless I think you’ll have a good time here.

The movie starts with a bunch of people getting ready to go to a super fancy restaurant. Well, by a bunch I mean around 12 or so. It’s a super exclusive event that costs over 100K per person in order to attend. Margot is not really into this high luxury life but her new boyfriend Tyler is paying for the whole event and he lives for fancy cuisine. So she’ll try to make the best of it but it quickly becomes apparent that he originally had invited another girl and she was the backup plan. Not a great way to start their adventure but Margot will still try to have fun. Unfortunately, the meals are small and very unimpressive. Additionally there appears to be something really sinister about this place. Perhaps going to a secluded island in the middle of nowhere with no way out until the boat that arrives the next day was a bad idea with a guy that she doesn’t know super well????

Now I do sympathize with Margot right away because fancy restaurants are definitely not the way to go. What you have to understand is there are tiers to these things. You have fast food shops like McDonalds, Fast casual shops like Chipotle, fast restaurants like Chili’s, and more standard restaurants like Cheesecake Factory. All of these can be good and still will have a lot of traditional options that taste great. When you go one step further to luxury restaurants is when you start to see the absolute worst foods out there. I’ve only gone to a fancy restaurant once, a place called the Manhatta. Let me tell you, it lives up to the hype of why I don’t dine at places like that.

We’re talking about a place with no menu until you arrive. Based on the day, there will only be up to 4 items you can choose from. It’s a combination that brings a side, main course, and dessert. The whole thing is bundled so you can’t break it and you can forget about substitutions. You’ll probably be spending around $50-$70 by the end for a portion of food that is extremely small and that’s assuming you can find anything that you like. They do the whole song and dance of preparing it in front of you and explaining what you’re eating but I’m here to eat not present. So this film does a great job of showing what a luxury restaurant is like and why it’s no fun.

Even in this movie, I did not like a single meal that they serves except for the last one. Pretty much everything here is loaded with seafood and vegetables which is definitely not something I’m all that interested in. It is fun seeing the characters try to convince themselves that t’s good though. The brainwashing is a big part of the fun here. Every character spent tons of money in order to get here and so this has to be good right? They can’t have been absolutely scammed.

At one point they are served a breadless bread bowl and some characters still try to defend it. So the comedy lands pretty well there. Tyler is a bit over the top with how checked out he is as the guy obsesses with the food but I can appreciate what the film was going for there. He’s the most obnoxious character in the film so you’re rooting for him to get taken down the whole time. One of those really fake guys who has on a mask for a long time but ultimately it shatters before when it’s crunch time.

Now we don’t know quite how long he knew Margot, but it’s definitely clear that she didn’t know the real him. As the only one who didn’t grow up super rich, she is sharper than the rest of the characters. I would still say she is a bit slow to act but at least isn’t just sitting in her chair awaiting her own demise the whole time. She has a good ending and in general showed a lot of spunk. Definitely the best character in the movie.

Where you have to suspend a lot of disbelief is with everyone’s inaction the whole time. They all act like NPCs as they just watch things escalate more and more as the body count rises. Surely they should all do something right? In a situation like this, obviously you need to secure a weapon like one of the large butcher knives and try to make a break for the door or just take everyone out. I would say getting outside is most important because then you can at least try and pick everyone off one by one. If you fight them all at once you’re going to lose.

I’d like to say that everyone should team up and overwhelm the villains but the cynical part of me does think at least half of the characters would just be screaming and not actually providing any assistance. So you really do have to assume that you’re completely on your own which does change the dynamic. Still, you gotta do something and anything is better than nothing. I guess part of the idea is that these characters have never really been in a life or death situation before but even so, I like to think the fight or flight mechanics would start to come through. The film being part comedy ultimately saves the whole feature because if this was played completely seriously then I would have some serious problems with this.

As it stands, it’s annoying but doesn’t crush the film. The pacing is good and the whole thing is very interesting. There are quite a few twists and turns as the movie goes on so it’ll keep you guessing all the way through. There are some fun fake outs and of course a lot of moments that are really happening with no fakeouts needed. This ensures that you are always on your toes. The film is also fairly long and gets to really build up to the premise. There is a lot of tension even early on but you have to wait along with the characters to see if it’s just a feeling or not.

While the film is tame for most of its run, it definitely does have some really violent scenes. They stand out as a big contrast which is likely the point so you are shocked along with the characters. So definitely prepare yourself for that, it’s definitely not a film that is just a smooth ride for everyone. There are a lot of bumps along the road here. There is also an element of each character having some kind of a shady secret although playing into the comedic angle a bit, this isn’t balanced at all. Some characters did crazy stuff while others did basically nothing and the main villain just says that’s too bad. He’s rather insane after all so it’s not like this has to make a lot of sense.

Overall, The Menu is a pretty good film. I did like seeing the breakdown of each menu item even if they all sounded pretty bad. The cast of characters are fairly strong. Not that most of them are particularly likable but they all have established characters and personalities early on. The film did a good job of setting them up and allowing the plot to move straight away. It’s a very well made film that really had my attention the whole way through. Maybe it really was the food theme since that’s not something I’ve seen too many films use.

Overall 7/10

1408 Review

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Okay now we’ve got a psychological horror that handles itself pretty well all the way through unlike the Shining. I thought 1408 was pretty solid and had a lot going on for it. It’s a pretty well balanced movie with a good story and some pretty spooky moments. It handled the idea of how can you trap someone in a hotel room pretty well and is worth the watch. The cast is very small but fortunately Mike really nails it as the main character. He’s someone who is very easy to follow the whole time.

The movie starts by introducing us to Mike who isn’t the nicest guy. He doesn’t even humor the owners of a hotel as they try to tell him how haunted it is. Instead he just dives in and makes a mockery of the whole thing. See, Mike is a writer who visits all kinds of spooky hotels and motels in order to debunk all of the horror stories surrounding them. He doesn’t believe in the supernatural one bit and takes pleasure in knocking them down. The next spot on his list is room 1408 at the Dolphin hotel. The manager Gerald begs Mike not to go into the room but Mike doesn’t care. He’s going to debunk yet another spot. Unfortunately this place seems a little more serious than the others, in fact…he’s having a hard time getting out. Has Mike finally picked a fight with an opponent that he just cannot defeat?

Mike is a jerk but that works really well for a film like this. I like when the main character is so confident in the fact that spooks don’t exist. He absolutely relishes in proving his point and the guy is mean to everybody. He’s always got a sarcastic remark at the ready and it takes a while for his confidence to fade. I think part of why this is fun is because in most cases like in real life you’d be on his side. (Not with the rudeness but at least the confidence that the hotel room isn’t haunted) The good thing about people being superstitious is that you can probably get the room at a discount usually.

So when he starts to be overpowered by the specters, well that would have happened regardless of how confident he was. So at least this way he got to have some laughs in first. The hotel room is definitely very powerful as we see it command many abilities. Full on ability to submit hallucinations, moving matter through the cosmos, impersonation, etc. How much of this is pure telepathy is hard to say but either way it isn’t going down easily. In a lot of ways you could say it’s like Mike is trapped in purgatory. He is forced to relive his most painful moments over and over and over again. That’s probably the scariest part of the whole ordeal. Not the physical pain but the fact that it may not have an end and will keep on looping forever and ever. That’s where the true despair begins to set in.

The film can get a little violent when we see images of the previous tenants but for the most part this is definitely more about the atmosphere. Like Mike being powerless to watch the hotel tell his wife to come over so that she can be trapped as well or reliving his daughter’s death. The room slowly works to just tear apart his mind bit by bit and it’s a really intense tactic. The room just physically beating him up wouldn’t be nearly as effective. It does a little bit of that too though like the window slamming on his hands or getting blasted with hot water. It’s just more of a side effect as opposed to that really being the focus here.

One thing that also adds to the film is how normal things appear at first. Like yes the room is haunted but the electrician still shows up to help Mike fix the cooling system and things like that. He’s not completely isolated the whole time but it slowly begins to get to that point more and more. By the time he realizes the danger he is in, it’s just too late. The door is impossible to break down and yeah the window is open but there is nowhere to go to. The room strategically does allow for Mike to destroy himself but that’s about it. The room continues to pressure him into taking his own life which is when he would be truly defeated.

I’ll admit that the backstory parts tend to be the least interesting though. We see the flashbacks of him and his wife and their daughter. It’s going through some emotional beats but the whole time you’re just waiting to get back into the main struggle against the room. That is absolutely where the real action is and since you already know what happened in the past, it’s not like there are any surprises left to be had there. That I would put as a slight weakness here.

The only other weakness for me would be the ending. I don’t think it was nearly as impactful as it could have been. In a lot of ways it’s surprisingly happy and the final stinger just doesn’t counter that much. What I would have personally liked more would have been for Mike to have “escaped” and the final scene is his wife asking him to close the windows. He doesn’t respond so she walks over but he’s gone and she sees the number 1408 above the door. She is now going to be the room’s next opponent. Perhaps too mean spirited but it would have been an intense ending that also works as sequel bait.

Overall, 1408 was a good movie. It succeeded in being really ominous the whole time and making things super difficult without it feeling completely hopeless. I also thought the first act with all of the build up was handled really well. I liked the owner of the Dolphin hotel who definitely did a good job of hyping the place up. He seemed to understand the rules pretty well and did everything in his power to try and dissuade Mike from staying. At the end of the day, there were just no words that could have pulled something like that off. Mike is the kind of guy who was going to attempt this challenge no matter what. With a good amount of fakeouts and creative trials, 1408 is a film that I would definitely recommend.

Overall 6/10