Tag Archives: Thriller

Prom Night Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for another school movie where a disaster takes place. There isn’t a huge explosion this time around but there may as well have been as things get really intense here. The movie doesn’t start off on the best note, nor does it end in a great way either. This is really just your dime a dozen slasher movie going through its paces and it never tries to be anything more than that. As a result this movie just isn’t very good at all with a lot of forgettable characters.

The movie starts off with a bunch of cruel children picking on one girl until they corner her by a window where she falls through and dies. They decide not to tell anyone and run off. Years later, someone has decided to avenge the girl. Each of the children who were involved start to get threatening phone calls confirming that they will all be dying at the prom. The heroines are grown up now though and figure these are prank calls and don’t worry about it. As the bodies start piling up they have to be careful though. Can they actually stop this monster before they are obliterated?

Schools really are quite huge so it does work as a big battleground here. For example with the big prom taking place in the main lobby, the rest of the school is completely empty. That gives the murderer plenty of places to hide. It’s a location where you can buy into a cloaked figure even camping out for the whole day. You’ve got several floors each with 12+ rooms plus restrooms and such that are completely empty. Naturally some students leave to go and have affairs and such which makes them easy pickings. In that way the prom was the easiest date to pull this off for because everybody is making the job easier. They split off on their own without telling people intentionally.

Of course it’s also annoying to see them all fall for this by the same token. You just know that the characters are doomed the instant the villain appears. As always they all just don’t know how to fight at all and can’t defend themselves. The only exception to this is a guy named Slick who has a lot of self confidence. It was impressive how he just rode up in his big car and got someone to go out with him immediately although whether it’s a feather in his cap or the lady was too easy is something we can’t say. It’s as rushed a romance as you can get so I’m not exactly going to give that a high score.

Surprisingly Slick actually made this a real fight and went back and forth with the villain for quite some time though. That scene went on for way longer than I had anticipated. Yeah the ending is probably inevitable to be sure but I always prefer when someone puts up a fight rather than meekly going down. When your life is at stake you better find some adrenaline to fight back because if you lose then that’s game over. There is no retry option or anything like that even if it would be cool to have one of those.

The main heroine here is Kim and she does feel bad about what happened. It’s just like 10 years too late but I’ll take what I can get. There isn’t a whole lot to her character though. I mean in a way her character is that she isn’t nearly as desperate as the others who are all either one with the world now or have completely moved on. You just know that they’re all doomed while Kim at least has a chance of figuring things out. Well, she is the main character so that makes sense but she also just seems a lot more reasonable than the others. She feels like your average everyday character if that makes sense.

It’s not a bad thing, I’ll take being a forgettable character over being a really bad one but you can tell that this movie was more about putting the effort in to how everyone would be bumped off rather than the characters. There actually is one side bonus to this although I think it’s probably unintentional. The characters are so forgettable that when they reveal who the villain is, it takes you a minute to remember who the character is. You quickly understand from the context clues but there will be a few moments where you scratch your head and just wonder what’s going on. It all does make sense in hindsight and in a way this is the only culprit that would make sense.

The film does offer an obvious red herring from the start but the movie forgot to be subtle about this so because of that nobody falls for it. Now in a way slasher films are always going to be doomed no matter what setting they take place in but I would argue that taking place at a school puts you at an extra disadvantage by default. First you have all of the drama and poorly developed romances going on. It makes the characters look really annoying and unprepared from the jump. Then you have the fact that the teachers and principal are inevitably not going to help or do much anyway so why even include them in here? If the movie takes place on the mountains or something then at least it’s a unique environment and you have the extra tension of trying to escape from there in one piece.

It won’t solve the core issues but it’s a start. As you’d expect the film suffers from excessive violence and poor writing. There are no really likable characters as it’s really hard to forget that opening scene. I don’t care how young they were, you have to be pretty messed up to attack that little girl the way that they did. It was a really rough way to start the film and unfortunately set the tone for how the rest of the movie was going to play out. It’s really hard to recover from a moment like that.

Overall, At least the principal tried to help things out by putting the pressure on with locating another criminal on the loose. I give him credit for doing his best, he was just doomed from the start and you as the viewer knew it. Some things just can’t be easily stopped. I don’t think there is really anything you can get from this film that can’t be found in any number of other slashers. The movie doesn’t have much in the way of redeeming values as even the mystery of trying to find out who the killer is won’t interest you very much.

Overall 2/10

The 39 Steps Review

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The 39 Steps is definitely an interesting movie but it is one that is held back by the main character. He’s annoying to watch the whole time and will just grate on your nerves. The guy isn’t the nicest fellow that’s for sure and leaves the worst possible first impression with the main heroine so while you expect that the romance is still coming, you are just hoping that it won’t. Just skip it….so I enjoy the story in the film and how everything is really mysterious but the film also has a lot of unnecessary moments and a weak lead that distracts from this.

The movie opens with Richard enjoying a show where a guy called Mr. Memory confirms that he knows everything. Ask him any serious question and he can get you the answer on the spot. It’s really quite impressive to be honest. Well suddenly a lady runs into Richard and asks him to take her home. He agrees but the whole thing is rather odd. She says that she is being chased by a bunch of ruffians who want to murder her and while Richard doubts this at first, she is promptly murdered. The only clue he has left is a paper she was holding with a map. He is now the primary suspect in her murder so he has to find the real villains and solve this case quickly.

So far so good. It’s a pretty interesting plot. One unique thing about the movie is also that this guy is completely out of his depth for the entirety of the movie. Yes, not just the beginning of the movie or for part of it but the whole thing. This guy really has no clue what he is up against and even we as the viewer don’t know a whole lot. This is done effectively since we’re seeing the world through the lead’s eyes. There is no time for info dumps or twists about what is going on. Yes, we get some answers by the end but not a whole lot of them. The majority of the film is Richard running around and getting himself into trouble.

For example one of the best parts there is when Richard finally makes it to his destination and meet up with a Mr. Jordan who he thinks can help him. Unfortunately this guy turns out to be one of the main villains so not only is he not going to get any help from this guy but it’s actually the reverse and he might be in trouble now. I like how Jordan plays along for a bit before just dropping the act. The film also has that retro style of talking where everyone is being super polite even when talking about how someone is going to get murdered. Jordan says Richard has to die but gives him some options and tries to be nice about the whole thing.

Then while they’re in the middle of talking he just shoots Richard out of the blue. I just like how nonchalant the whole thing was. He just shot him in the middle of the living room and walked away. Now granted, this also leads to the cheesiest part of the film which is that he didn’t check to make sure that Richard was actually dead. Cmon now that’s the first thing you have to check. It turns out that the bible he stole from a domestic abuser saved his life. Richard’s luck gets no better as he runs off to the sheriff who doesn’t believe his story at all and things continue to escalate.

So yeah Richard is doing a lot of running here which is why we don’t have time to learn much about the two factions of secret agents going at it with each other. You just need to know the key facts here which is that one side has some intel that they shouldn’t and they will get away unless the cops get involved. By the time the film is over Richard may be safe for a bit but I feel like nobody’s actually going to stop the 39 Steps because where do you even begin with that? We don’t even know how big the organization is or how many members they have. The possibilities are really endless.

If this was the extent of the film then it would all be swell but one of the weakest aspects of the film is the whole subplot with Pamela. So they first meet on a train where Richard tries to use her as a disguise when being chased by the cops. His bright idea here was to go all the way for a kiss instead of a hug or something. I was glad when she ratted him out because if a random person shows up and does that this should absolutely be your first reaction. He holds that against her though and the whole scene is just wild because it also doesn’t feel like something the hero would do. I thought that was a really weak scene.

She tries to get him into trouble for a long while after that but eventually they get handcuffed together and now she really has no escape. He forces her to pretend to be married to him and whenever she tries to yell for help he’ll just grab her by the neck so she can’t talk or threaten to shoot her. This is the hero? Now it’s not like the film is portraying him to be demented or anything and the scenes aren’t meant to be crazy but they’re not exactly played for laughs either. I think he just goes way too far in trying to scare her. He fears for his life but making her fear for hers really isn’t helping matters in the slightest. He still takes time to flirt and start a relationship as well so he needs to get his priorities straight.

The guy is all over the place and so by the end you have no sympathy for him. It’s a shame that people think he is a murderer but he’s starting to act like one anyway so that’s maybe just how this will end up going anyway. The film also has a very random pitstop near the middle where he bumps into a rather shady guy who prays a lot but seems like a phony and his poor wife who doesn’t really know what to do. Things get dicey for her after Richard leaves and it’s like…did we need to see this? Yeah it’s generally understood that this guy seems like he may get abusive and has a chip on his shoulder but it’s a bit of a dark element that has absolutely nothing to do with anything.

This film feels really unfocused which is fine for the story but it also just means that any bad elements which show up also feel like they have no real point in being here. The film would just be better off without these moments being included at all and there is no real incentive to watch this over another thriller. I’d recommend most of the other retro titles I’ve seen higher than this one. The ending is pretty clever and ties in well to the intro but ultimately this film barely breaks even. That’s quite the feat considering that with the solid writing and tone this would usually be guaranteed to be a 7 at least so you know the title definitely did something wrong.

Overall, That main character just needed to be arrested after a while and you feel worse for the heroine who gets swept up into all of this. If this ever gets a remake I think we just need to have a bigger focus on The 39 Steps and what they really do. They certainly have a lot of plans going on and operatives around the world but what is their end game really? I just want to see more of how they operate in this world while living double lives as millionaires having fun in society. Those questions are the most interesting parts of the film.

Overall 5/10

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Hansel & Gretel is definitely a very classic story that I’m sure just about everyone has heard of at one point or another. Doing a modern action film based on that premise could be a lot of fun. So on one hand they do succeed in adding a ton of action and it has a very Resident Evil/Underworld feel to it. Everyone’s wearing leather jackets and there is a lot of loud music as everyone just starts attacking. I always like the vibe but the film also decides to be quite over the top violent the whole time which ends up weakening it entirely. It’s a shame since otherwise I think this could have ended up being a whole lot of fun but instead it ends up being rather underwhelming.

The movie starts off with the origin story as Hansel and Gretel are abandoned by their father and a witch invites them to her house. For a long while she has them captured but eventually they destroy her and escape. They then decide to become witch hunters and are very good at it. They’ve slain so many over the years it’s almost like they are superhuman or something. Hansel’s one weakness is that he has magical diabetes so he has to take a shot every few hours or else he can’t move. One day they save an innocent civilian from being executed by a bunch of crazy townsfolk and prepare to stop the true enemy Muriel. The tough part about this is that she is one of the strongest witches in existence. Defeating her will not be easy by any stretch of the imagination.

It is hard to picture how the heroes lasted this long against the witches though because they just aren’t very impressive in a fight. Sure they have the gun and the crossbow not to mention that magical bolts don’t affect them directly (Strange isn’t it?) but that’s it. They still only have human level stats so you’d think the witches could overwhelm them with speed or manipulating the environment to choke them or something. They don’t end up doing any of that and every time they are defeated you have to shake your head a bit.

This gets even more drastic once Muriel steps in because she’s much stronger as I mentioned before. She moves so fast that it’s like she is teleporting and her energy blasts have a wide range to them. I get that she can’t use her mind control on the heroes but there are still so many ways to beat them. This is definitely an example of a movie where they made the difference between the heroes and villains way too drastic. You always gotta keep it at least a bit equal or the plot armor starts to show off too much. At least Muriel does make for a decently good villain though. She has a very concrete goal and takes steps to achieve it. Her plan wasn’t even bad so she put in a whole lot of work here.

Then we have Mina as the girl who was nearly executed. She gets a fairly big role in the film but ultimately ends up being very underwhelming. For the first half I actually just thought she was going to be a really powerful villain that the heroes had to worry about but as the film went on you started to realize that this might not be in the cards. She’s a character whose concept is a lot cooler than the execution. You got the feeling that she could end up being really cool but then the climax happens and that was it.

Likewise there is a white witch in the flashback who looks really bad. Basically like in Final Fantasy a white witch has healing powers while the dark witches use your classic attack spells. The problem is that the white witches are such pacifists that they literally refuse to lift up a hand to fight back even when they are being absolutely crushed. Not a good look if you ask me. There has to be a point where you are going to defend yourself because if you just let people murder you like that then I’m not going to like the character. It’s as simple as that.

Now there is a sidekick character named Ben who wants to help the main duo but he’s just annoying. For starters he lost any single shred of decency he might have had when he tries to take advantage of Gretel while she was asleep. I mean that’s case closed in one fell swoop. You just don’t come back from a blow like that, no shot! He mainly just exists to be the comic relief and doesn’t add anything to the film so you could absolutely cut him out and nothing would really change.

The heroes run into a troll named Edward later on who is nice enough. He helps out Gretel quite a bit which is always good and he means well. He may not be the smartest character out there but he knows enough to be of help when it counts. The guy has the physical strength needed to win almost any one on one fight and he seems like he would be a very loyal ally to have around so there’s no problem with him watching your back.

Then we have Hansel who is a good main character. He has quite the grudge against witches but who wouldn’t in his position right? The witch basically ruined his life and he will never be fully better again so after that it is really hard to forget such a moment. He can fight well which is the important part and is always looking out for Gretel. Likewise Gretel has Hansel’s back and they make a good team. She’s very confident and is always ready to press on in the fight. Their sibling dynamic worked well and isn’t one you see very often in the movies so that was fun. It’s why you could cut out Ben and just keep the dynamic duo banter intact.

Of course the film still has to squeeze in some romance which is why Mina steps in. This whole plot is very rushed and there just isn’t time for romance when you’re trying to take down witches. Lives are at stake and they also have to watch out for the corrupt townsfolk who are everywhere. So instead of pairing up and all of that maybe they should be focused on winning the fight ahead of them. That would have made way more sense at least and it could give them time to develop as friends instead. Yeah the romance should have been cut out.

As mentioned earlier the violence also could have been toned down a whole lot. Characters are being blown up and sliced and diced left and right. The film also goes for some downright gross imagery at different points as well like with Muriel forcing some guys to eat a bunch of bugs. Like did we really need to go there? Sure it shows how superior she is as a mage but cmon now. Then the film has to get edgy with all the townsfolk being brutes who go after Gretel at one point. The film is trying to be as extreme as possible at all moments and it works against the film.

Overall, Hansel & Gretel had some nice potential here. I liked some of the twists and the whole action angle was nice. I do think it could have ended up being a good film if it just showed some restraint. Instead it didn’t show any though and that’s what hurts the film a whole lot. There is no real replay value here and you’ll be cringing a whole lot. It’s time for another hard reboot to this series. You can still keep the witch hunter angle but the whole direction just needs to be changed. Hey, if you do that then you could have a winner on your side but in the meantime you should absolutely skip this one. At least the soundtrack is really good though.

Overall 2/10

5 Against the House Review

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It’s time for an old school heist film with one character cracking real quick. I always enjoy a good heist film but I do think it’s more fun when the whole group is in on it. Since in this film the heist is basically a blackmail situation where they don’t even want to go through with it, it isn’t quite as fun as it would have otherwise been. Ultimately it’s still a good film but I probably would have played things out in a different direction. You feel like someone also should have stepped up to stop this madness right away.

The movie starts off as a slice of life title with 4 guys just enjoying their time at school. They haze a poor freshman the whole time so these aren’t the nicest of folks. I wouldn’t say any of the hazing is all that drastic but if they were more like true upstanding citizens then I don’t think they would have done that at all. It’s not something you would expect a hero to do after all. I liked that the kid actually got one victory against them with a sliding prank but it was short lived since naturally they used their power to overturn the results. You gotta try right?

Well the main plot is about how the gang always likes to go to the local casino to do some gambling. It’s the most well known gambling arena on the planet and is supposed to be even more secure than Fort Knox. Robbing the place is said to be impossible but Ronnie thinks that they can pull this off. He gets Roy and Brick to agree real quick but Al will be difficult since he doesn’t believe in robbery. Now Ronnie does plan to give the money back, the plan is to test if robbing the place is possible, not to actually steal the money but Al wouldn’t go for it either way. When Al proposes to Kay Ronnie realizes that this is perfect since they will drive him for a while and then get him to unknowingly help. What he doesn’t account for is that Brick has been slowly going insane and does want this robbery to go well. Not to test it but to actually steal the funds. Can they stop him?

Unlike most heist films I wouldn’t even say that the heist is most of the film. Before we get into any of that we have the school adventures and then the romance drama with Al and Kay. I don’t think that romance was very good either. At first Kay suggests that they take a break from each other which is a massive red flag but then after that when Al threatens to run off she goes back to him and they get engaged. I dunno that doesn’t seem like the best foundation for a long term relationship right? Things very nearly went sideways after all. Al gets upset a little too quickly and Kay doesn’t seem very confident in her decision so all in all that is not a great mix.

At least Al is against the robbery which is good. Way I see it, even if you don’t intend to steal the money this is just a horrible thing to do. You’re going to traumatize at least one person when you hold him at gun point and you are committing a big crime. Saying that it was all a prank afterwards doesn’t make things better in the slightest. So ultimately this just shows even more how unbalanced the characters are to even think about going through with a plan like this. It’s simply not a good idea in the slightest. Since Ronnie thought of this first he is one of the main characters to blame.

I know he was proud of his plan and how it could work. The film even heavily suggests that it really would work since everything goes pretty smoothly for them aside from the infighting. That said, just because you can do something doesn’t mean that you should do it. Roy is more of a follower and just goes along with what everyone says. He loses points for not being independent enough to say that this is a bad idea and maybe they shouldn’t go through with it. Sometimes you have to drag your friends back to the straight and narrow path.

Then we have Brick who was going insane right from the start when he was quick to beat someone up. Apparently he had severe PTSD which has really messed him up over time. Well now he’s really crossed the line by taking out a gun and threatening everyone. I would say by this point he was too far gone because that’s not something you can really take back. He was absolutely willing to murder anyone who stood in his way. If things had gone even slightly different then he could have easily become a mass murderer in the blink of an eye. It’s pretty crazy to think about. The scenes where he betrays the rest of the guys definitely comes across as real personal, especially with how Al had always had his back before then.

So the heist is pretty intense but just not fun the way that it usually is. In a way they come across as just common burglars rather than quirky thieves. The gun is a big part of this as well. In titles like Ocean’s Eleven and Tower Heist mainly you get the money by tricking people and using social engineering. When you’re doing the classic “I got a gun so give me the money!” it’s just a very different vibe. It also wouldn’t work nearly as well in the present with all the cameras around but of course back in the day it was always going to be a lot easier to pull this off. You’re rooting for the casino to stop these mad men the whole time. They’ve beaten all of the would be thieves before so they just need to pull off one more win!

Overall, The main moral of this is to always be careful who you associate with. If someone suggests committing a crime for fun then odds are that they are a little more detached from reality than they may appear. It’s a very slippery slope when you start committing crimes like this because usually things will start escalating further and further just like it happened in this film. Even if Brick didn’t go crazy and they did a victimless crime, they would probably want to do another one and another one until they eventually got to that point. The only way to win the game is not to play. The heroes also could have ended this a lot sooner by tackling Brick once they were inside. Yes it was a huge risk either way with their reputations but the sooner you take him down the sooner it all ends. The writing is good and the pacing is good so you should enjoy this as a solid cautionary tale. It may not be as upbeat as you’d expect from the first half of the film but it works well enough.

Overall 6/10

Kiss the Blood Off My Hands Review

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Time for another ride down Noir lane. This is one of those films where it is hard to root for the main characters from the start because the romance seems ill advised and the main guy never seems to learn his lesson. So things continue to escalate more and more but with nobody there to stop this destructive path. It makes for a pretty fun watch but you are hoping that the main character would have either gotten better as the movie went on or the heroine would have ditched him. That would have been the best outcome here.

The movie starts off with Bill getting really drunk at a bar and he doesn’t want to leave when it’s closing time so he murders the owner. He hides from the cops by breaking into the apartment of a lady named Jane and keeping her prisoner there. It’s a pretty scary situation for her but she manages to stay strong and the next day heads out to live her life but Bill returns. He confesses his instant love for her and wants her to be with him now. She thinks this is crazy but at the same time starts to like him back. She wants to believe him that what happened was a one time event so they go out but his violent outbursts won’t stop. Can they ever live a normal life together?

Talk about sabotaging yourself. Bill has been through a lot but right here he could have finally had the normal life that he had been waiting for. All he had to do was stop attacking people and getting into trouble. The worst part is that the next offense isn’t because someone was instigating him or anything like that. He just wanted to cheat one guy out of money so he did the classic trick of losing once on purpose and was aiming to win the next round. Unfortunately that just wasn’t going to happen because this guy was wise to those tricks so Bill literally attacks him to rob the guy. Note that he is doing all of this in front of Jane so it’s not like he can talk his way out of this one. She saw the whole thing with a front row seat.

Then he even goes as far as to attack a cop and finally gets thrown in prison for a while. After all of that you could even say that he got off easy to be honest because he is still let out before too long. The most annoying thing is that Jane is still there and waiting. It sort of feels like she has Stockholm syndrome at this point. Keep in mind that their first meeting was basically Bill kidnapping her within her own home and that should have been a traumatic moment, not a cause for starting a romance or anything like that. It just feels like she keeps going back to him over and over again when he doesn’t seem like he will ever be changing.

His fighting skills do come in handy when he has to beat up a bunch of ruffians who are trying to stir up trouble. That was a good moment for him without a doubt even if ultimately the blackmail was going to get back to him at some point and he shouldn’t have agreed to the deal in the first place. That’s the trouble with doing something wrong, once the blackmail comes into play it has you keep on doubling down over and over again which only makes things worse. The best thing to do is to not do anything worthy of blackmail in the first lace and then you’d be just fine.

So I didn’t end up liking Bill at all but I also can’t say that I liked Jane very much either. She just put up with too much and was too soft on Bill the whole time. If she had just cut him off earlier that would have made way more sense. There just isn’t a logical reason for her to fall for him at this stage because he really hadn’t given her any reason to do so. He was just causing her a ton of problems instead and even to the end that is basically the case like when the mobster Harry went after her instead of him to cause some trouble.

In case it’s not obvious, it’s good that she took that guy down and I’d say should have even finished the job. It’s a grim reality but if you stab someone and they don’t die then allowing them to live is all kinds of risky. They might have their mobster friends come at you next, you might get sued on some kind of insane loophole, etc. He came at her with the intent to hurt her beyond repair and basically go beyond murder so all bets are off at that point. She has to just finish the job quickly and in that way it’s not like he’s bleeding to death either so it’s a quick loss. It’s also yet another traumatic memory that she has to live with now.

As for Harry, I thought he was an interesting villain for a while there. He talks tough and has a very memorable accent that really goes a long way. He even plays the long game in terms of using the blackmail to his advantage. My main issue here was ultimately that they throw this all out the window to just make him your average creep in the end. Why did they have to reduce him to this? Whenever you have a villain just decide to assault the heroine like this it makes them more two dimensional than paper and also loses any chance they had of being an even slightly decent character. There’s no coming back from that and it also made him a poor villain so that was really unfortunate.

The film balances being annoying at times with being a quality film. Ultimately I would easily say that the movie’s strengths outweigh the annoyance factor and I don’t think it’s close. I really did have a good time with this film and it’s got a fairly original plot. I don’t think I’ve seen too many films about the heroine trying to redeem the main guy and it works out well even if you wish she would just give up. I think it would have been even better if they could have had Bill show some more progress throughout the film on a gradual level instead of constantly escalating. Like the whole scene of him trying to rob the card player should not have happened because that was the most egregious moment in the film. Take that out and he would at least appear to be wayyyyy more civilized and acting like a reasonable person.

Overall, I would recommend checking this film out. It may not stand out among some of the other Noir films over the years and I could see myself forgetting parts of it in time but ultimately it still is a pretty good film. You don’t always have to be great in order to have a good experience and I would say that is the case with this film. It’s just consistently good the whole time with a solid story and so I can safely recommend this to anyone. The fight scenes were also fun and I did think it was impressive how Bill took on around 4 opponents at once. I guarantee that not just anyone could pull that off.

Overall 7/10

The Alligator People Review

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Now this probably sounds like your classic run of the mill creature feature film but instead I would call it more of a drama. Sure there is a creature here but he doesn’t appear all that much and when he does it’s not like he’s all that much of a threat either. The guy has some extremely slight superhuman strength but even then I wouldn’t say that it is very high tier. You get a lot of running around and detective work though along with a human villain who is definitely more on the really weak side.

The film starts with Joyce and Paul being married. They figure that things are really looking up now and their lives will be perfect but all of a sudden Paul gets a letter that shakes him to the core. He quickly runs off the train they were on and vanishes into the wind. Joyce didn’t know anything about him beyond his name so she looked and looked until one day she finds his old address from when he was back in college. She heads to this old house in the middle of nowhere but the owners claim that they haven’t ever heard of him and that Jane should go. Well, Jane decides to stay along for the ride until she can find answers but will these answers prove to be too much for her?

First I have to say that Paul is a pretty awful character the whole time. Just running off when you’ve been married like this is absolutely insane. I don’t care if he’s turning into a gerbil, you have to stay there and explain things. He took the coward’s way out here and put Joyce in a ton of emotional turmoil. She had nothing to go off of and had to try for ages to find any leads to him. All of this could and should have been avoided. In the end it was his pride which got in the way here since he just didn’t want her to see him like this but that is no excuse at all. He just looks really bad no matter how you slice it and there was no coming back from this for him. Of course I’m glad he saves her later on from the other villain but she wouldn’t have been in that situation from the start if he had helped her.

Joyce gets a lot of credit here because she was basically walking into enemy territory in order to find her husband. She withstood all of the threats against her and just kept on fighting because she refused to give up. I think a lot of other characters would have folded by this point but she stayed strong and did not waiver in her convictions. This is the kind of character that you absolutely want to have on your side at all times. Now she does let out a yell and a bit of panic near the very end but I would say it was warranted and she would have quickly recovered if a certain other character didn’t jump the gun yet again. Yeah Joyce puts up with a whole lot in this title.

Then you have the main villain here Manon. He wants to destroy all gators after one bit his hand off a while back. Now he just lives for his revenge and it’s clear that he guy is extremely unhinged in all of his appearances. He’s always yelling and yelling and yelling. His goal of destroying all of the gators also comes off as extremely petty and then he ends up going into a whole new level of sick when he attacks Joyce. I was definitely not expecting that. I knew he was a villain here but that just didn’t seem like something he would do so that was definitely surprising and it did completely destroy his character.

Lavinia has a fairly big role since she is the master of the house. She has her secrets to be sure and wants Joyce out of there but ultimately isn’t in a position to force Joyce out. Joyce is physically more powerful than Lavinia after all and isn’t a pushover in the slightest. Then you have Dr. Mark who is good at the experiments but ultimately nobody is perfect and he needs more time. Paul keeps pressuring/threatening him to work quicker but to an extent you can only do this for so long before something backfires. As it is he may have also succeeded if not for someone messing up the tech.

As always the writing here is pretty good. I did like Chaney’s accent that he used for the film which worked rather seamlessly and I almost didn’t recognize him for most of the film. The pacing is good here and really the only thing that holds this movie back a lot of the time is just how most of the characters are no good. I liked Joyce but she was really the only very solid character here. Everyone else was either unlikable or made very questionable decisions the whole time. This film would have played out so much differently if Paul had just trusted his wife instead of dashing off into the great unknown the way that he did.

I should mention that most of the film is a flashback too and so in the present two doctors are deciding if they should give Joyce her memories back or not. They could do this with ease but are also worried that it could mess her up in the future. There isn’t a large debate on this as it’s mainly just used as an excuse for them to find out what she’s been through. Of course it’s fair to say that you absolutely should give her the memories back since they are a big part of who she is. They just need to do it carefully instead of making all those excuses. Yes her life is a lot happier now but knowing about the past now makes the doctors responsible for helping her remember it so that she can be complete again.

Overall, The Alligator People lacks the charm of a true creature feature because there is no monster or anything like that to defeat this time. The costume for the Alligator Man also isn’t the most impressive one around. It’s not going to strike fear into anyone’s heart after all. I liked seeing Joyce sleuth around and figure things out but ultimately for this film to have been better it also just needed more fun characters and some action. The Alligators also had me nervous with how much shooting was going on but fortunately they were careful in the end. I don’t think this one has a whole lot of replay value but as an initial watch it should keep your attention. It’s definitely not bad and it stays afloat long enough to stay right in the middle there.

Overall 5/10

Scream of Fear Review

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It’s time for a very retro thriller that was definitely pretty solid. There are a good amount of twists here and you could even call the film part mystery. Everything seems rather shady in this household and Penny needs to get to the bottom of it or she could be doomed. Is it even possible to solve all of the weird happenings in this house though or should she just forget it all and get out of here?

The movie starts with Penny receiving an invitation from her father to come back home. She has been by herself for a while now and can no longer walk so it has been a hard life. Unfortunately when she gets home her father has gone somewhere on business so all that remains is the step mother, the local doctor and the family chauffer. Penny figures she can manage at first but then her father’s body appears at different points around the house. It would appear that he has been murdered but who could have done it? Also Jane (Step-Mom) insists that he is still alive and even has Penny’s father call over the phone and explain that he still exists in this realm. Robert the chauffer seems to be keeping their secrets as well but says he will help Penny get to the bottom of this. Doctor Gerrard is mainly busy trying to convince Penny that she is completely crazy which doesn’t really help her much at all.

Now this movie could have easily gone in the annoying direction with the first half. While she is being gaslit the whole time you feel like Penny should have more agency. Get out there and get some wins! You know things like that. Now I cut her a bit more slack compared to most leads since she can’t walk so it’s not like it’s the easiest thing in the world to go out there and do some sleuthing. In fact she nearly drowns when she falls into their pool while doing detective work at night. So it ends up taking a lot of bravery and effort to try and really do something that would normally be easy.

It’s just still annoying when Jane and Gerrard are talking down to her the whole time and she just sits there and takes it. Additionally she tends to handle the appearances of her father’s body rather poorly each time as they will always take her eyes off of it and then of course it disappears in the next scene. Not her best moment without a doubt. She does get better as the film goes on though and by the end I liked her quite a bit. She started sticking up for herself more and even coming up with some plans to dish out some counter strikes. Ultimately one of these plans was a bit too risky for me since there are so many ways it could have absolutely backfired but either way I have to give her some true credit. She is one of the better heroines I’ve seen in these old films.

Jane is about as petty as you’d expect here and she is a character who gets worse the more the film goes on. She can be a bit wishy washy and intentionally dense when it suits her. I think if you’re going to be a mean character then you need to commit and go all the way with it. Anytime a character tries to straddle the line I usually won’t like her as much because it’s just not a great position to be in. In whatever you do you have to be bold and just keep on pushing. Otherwise what are you really doing? In the end she made her choice and shouldn’t have any regrets.

Doctor Gerrard is your classic doctor character here to explain how the stress is too much for Penny and all of that. It’s nothing that you haven’t heard before so you’ll probably be rolling your eyes at all of his dialogue. Whenever a character tries to convince someone that they’re crazy I can’t help but think that it should have no effect at all. Like if I know that I did or said something then I know it and no amount of people trying to convince me otherwise will ever work. I know what I know and at the end of the day that’s what counts.

Then we have Robert who tries to be really helpful the whole time. Naturally this almost immediately turns into romance so you start to doubt how noble he’s really being. Can’t he just try to help out normally without having to turn on the charm? As the only one not trying to say that Penny is crazy it’s nice to at least have one ally around. Since he is the chauffer he needs to be careful about how he handles this though or Jane can sack him real quick. This guy will have to be a little more subtle than how he is always hanging around her.

The writing here is pretty good as you would expect. These retro films always tend to have strong dialogue and this one is no different. The pacing is good and you will stay engaged all the way through the adventure. That said, what really makes the film is the second half where things start to get real interesting. I think if the film was played straight then it wouldn’t have been nearly as memorable or enjoyable. It would have been one of those dime a dozen flicks that you watch once and then forget forever. So I was really glad that this was not the case and instead the film decided to go into a very bold area.

Now with the twists while they are great, I would say that in hindsight some scenes can still be a stretch. Mainly I’m thinking about a certain car ride here since even if it was part of the plan it feels a little too risky. Things could have easily gone sideways there and then there would be no escape. You can actually take this for the entire film as well. At any point the villains could have made their move and didn’t need to wait nearly as long as they did. That would have ruined the plan as well so in essence what I’m saying is that a whole lot of massive risks were taken the some characters probably got off lucky.

Overall, I was quite entertained though. This was a very fun film that had quality writing and a solid story the whole time. I would certainly recommend checking it out to just about anyone since you’re really watching this for the quality story. Despite the title this isn’t a film about a lot of screaming or jump scares. Now there are jump scares to be sure but it’s more about the atmosphere and how mysterious everything is. You have to wonder if Penny might be crazy or what else is going on and that suspense will carry you all the way through to the end.

Overall 7/10

Alligator Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

You ever watch a film and then afterwards think to yourself: “Oof!” That’s basically this film in a nutshell. Alligator didn’t have great prospects right from the start to be honest because films about an evil animal rarely ever do well but even for that sub genre this one wasn’t very good at all. You have a whole subplot about a bunch of dogs dying and at that point I knew there was no hope for this film. It was just going to keep falling and falling as the movie went on and that’s exactly what happens here.

The movie starts with a girl getting a pet alligator of her own but unfortunately her father flushes it into the sewers. The alligator swears revenge and over the next 10+ years it begins to grow to monstrous size. It has been destroying all the animals in the sewers and even claims a few human lives. By the time it enters the surface it is quite powerful. Can officer David manage to stop this beast? He is quick on his feet but has a reputation for bumping off his partners which is hard to lose. Additionally everyone thinks he is crazy and don’t believe in an alligator. This town is about to be in a whole lot of trouble.

So the first big issue here is the subplot that I mentioned earlier. Basically there is a scientist running experiments on growth hormones and how to make animals extra big. To do this he is kidnapping a bunch of dogs around town and murdering them all. This ends up giving the alligator more fuel of course but it also adds a lot of animal violence that just wasn’t needed in the film. It makes you cringe every time you see these scenes and there are quite a lot of them. The heroes aren’t able to do much about this guy either because he is protected by someone who is rich enough to own the police. It’s a rather vicious cycle of corruption at the top and everyone is powerless to stop them.

The worst part is that the plot doesn’t add anything of value to the story. Just have the gator find some ooze in the tunnels or something which causes him to grow. Or have a syringe fall down there which makes him big but adding all of those dogs in was just a really bad idea. I haven’t seen a film go this far with the dog deaths in quite a while and of course all of the bodies are there in full display the whole time to make things get even more gruesome. The actual violence in the film isn’t particularly surprising as you are expecting the gator to be chomping people up right from the start anyway. So when it happens that is just par for the course although of course the film should have had a bit more restraint. you don’t need to quite be to excessive with that kind of content.

There’s even one scene where a small child is eaten which I thought was also a bit much. It’s certainly a very dark scene but one that you could have done without. By this point we already know what a monster this thing is so why add onto that any further? The Alligator isn’t super fast so you like your odds when going up against it but unfortunately fort he humans they tend to trip and freeze under pressure which makes them easy targets. If they had just kept on going then things could have gone differently for them. One of the only ones you can’t blame is the kid since he was pushed into the water.

As the main character David is very underwhelming. I like that he is always very eager to solve a case and that he doesn’t let the public get to him too much. Unfortunately at the same time it is easy for one of the reporters to rile him up the whole time and his romance with Marisa is pretty bad. He just gets mean at some points for no real reason and then barely even apologizes to her. He didn’t give her much of a chance at the beginning of the movie so the whole romance is really rushed and makes no sense. It just seems to happen rather suddenly and he looks really desperate.

Sure the romance isn’t great on Marisa’s end either but at least outside of that she is decent enough. I like how determined she is to say that Alligators can’t possibly grow as large as David was saying even though all the evidence points to it. Once she has a theory she will stay very resolved in sticking to it. Then you have Thomas who is the big reporter here. He has a really personal grudge against David for some reason and is always trying to put him on the spot. A little random perhaps but this guy is trying to sell issues and maybe he just knows that David is a much easier target than most others would be. So he’s just engaging in smart business decisions here. It doesn’t make him any less of an antagonist though and you know he’s doomed from the start.

Then you have David’s boss who is in the pocket of his bosses. He will do whatever they say no matter who and what he has to betray. This guy’s really petty and not loyal at all but he is fun. The guy may get off easy but in a way it’s because David isn’t taking him seriously. Whether he plays nice or not, the boss will be listening to his bosses the whole time so it almost doesn’t matter. Finally you have Brock who is a really big hunter who is supposed to be mega impressive. Unfortunately the guy doesn’t have a good attitude and feels out of his depth from the tart. You know that he has no shot but it’s still fun to watch him because of how arrogant he is. The guy holds nothing back and also knows how to manipulate people around him into going on missions. No matter what else you think of him, the guy absolutely knows how to talk his way out of a situation.

It’s hard to know on where to start if you were going to try and fix this movie. There’s just so many bad things about it but removing the dog subplot probably does need to be the first thing you do. Throw in some better main characters while you’re at it. I think either way you don’t want to make another large alligator film again but if you have to do one for some reason then make that the main focus and don’t worry about other stuff. At the end of the day you gotta approach this carefully.

Overall, There isn’t much to like about Alligator at all. When the characters are bad and the romance is rushed in addition to everything else then you may as well just take the L because there is no coming back from that. I highly advise staying far away from this film. There just isn’t any reason to watch it and the movie will certainly drag on for you. Perhaps the sequel will actually end up being better. I don’t doubt that it will surpass the first but that’s easy to do so will it actually be a good movie or not? I’m in no immediate rush to find this out though.

Overall 1/10

F9 Review

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Fast and the Furious has had quite a lot of solid films throughout the series. It started out a bit slow but kept on getting better by the 5th film. By this point we’re back on the way down a bit since there aren’t any Hobbs or Shaw characters to help keep things going. I think after you’ve been with those characters for so long it’s hard to go back to not having them around anymore. This is still a good film but you don’t feel like it’s quite on the level that they used to be at.

The movie starts off with a flashback about Dom and his brother Jakob as they were watching his father in a race before he was unfortunately obliterated in a big explosion. Dom find out that Jakob seemingly sabotaged the car and banishes him from the family. Jakob then went on to become one of the world’s greatest intelligence agents and works for many different villains on really difficult missions. Now he has captured Cipher and has access to some of the most powerful weapons imaginable. The gang are forced to call Dominick Toretto back into action but he refuses since he’s retired. The choice is taken out of his hands when his wife Letty agrees to help though so he tags along. Can they take Jakob down or has this man grown too powerful to be stopped?

I like the idea of Jakob more than the actual character. So you’ve got the long lost brother who is super skilled in a car and can match Toretto blow for blow. I mean that’s pretty cool right off the bat and I can even overlook how he just wasn’t mentioned all these years even if that is rather odd. No my main problem is that his character arc felt really rushed by the end and we didn’t get the satisfying clash with Toretto that I was waiting for. When Hobbs first showed up we had a great confrontation with Toretto that absolutely lived up to everything you could have hoped for. When Shaw appeared he also got a great clash. Jakob though? Nah not really. They get to talk and we learn more about the past but outside of a quick race and confrontation later on it isn’t nearly as grand. I feel like they fumbled this character a bit.

If anything Jakob’s best scene was when he was talking tough to Cipher. She tried to psycho analyze him and he just wasn’t having it. He had good comebacks for all her insults and just walked off. That’s exactly how you have to handle these manipulative villains or else you will always be in trouble. They could have probably shortened the flashbacks to when they were kids as well to be honest since those scenes weren’t as exciting. I think you could have condensed that really easily.

Now lets go back to the positives for a moment. One thing the series has always done well and continues to do well is delivering on a ton of nonstop action. The fights just keep on coming here and there are explosions around every corner. I think it’s safe to say that all action fans should be really satisfied while watching the movie. While the story may be more forgettable, all of the characters get their moments and that’s impressive because the cast is absolutely massive here! That also means the group splits up real fast so they aren’t all united until the end of the film.

The after credits scene here is also a lot of fun. A character that I had been wanting to show up at least gets a small cameo this way. I would have still liked more content out of him but I’ll take what I can get. He’s still a very powerful fighter after all so I expect he can beat anyone who gets in his way so the group is lucky that he’s basically a hero now. Perhaps one who is still very extreme and will crush anyone in his way but an ally all the same. The series continues its streak of great endings with this.

As always Toretto is a good main character. I really don’t blame him for wanting to get out of the business either. It’s a dangerous line of work to be taking on countries and such and now that he has a kid to think about he shouldn’t be taking extra risks. Once he’s on the mission he does use all of his resources to get to the bottom of it though. He does nothing halfhearted and that’s what I like about him. Letty also looks really good here as she was the one who was proactive about helping out from the start. She’s always ready to fight and isn’t afraid of taking the lead on these missions.

Roman and Tej mainly get the comic relief plots here. Roman does tend to really take down a lot of enemies when it counts though so you have to give him a lot of props there. He always pulls through and then Tej has the tech aspects on point. Ramsey is also important for helping on that end so the hero group really has a whole lot of talent now. Even Mia steps in to help out and it’s been a while since that happened. Now a big controversy before the film came out was Han showing up since we saw him die rather clearly. I will say that the explanation they gave here wasn’t very good at all. Like almost anything else would have been a better explanation. What would I have done? I would have had the cops run to the wreck and find Han alive in the explosion because he had some kind of sci-fi suit materialize over him at the last instant. That would have absolutely been more convincing if you ask me.

It is nice to see Han back of course but they could have tried a bit harder there. As for Cipher, it was nice to see her return. She’s easily the most personal villain of the group with what she did to Toretto in the past and I actually wasn’t expecting to see her again so that was a welcome surprise. The films are great at expanding the cast a whole lot but even then this one went the extra mile with a bunch of other characters showing up too. I actually don’t think Cipher is getting a redemption arc anytime soon so this is one character who is going to stay bad to the bone the whole time.

The film has a lot of music going on as the characters run around the planet and it works pretty well. The variety of the songs is good and most of these did land. I appreciated the throwbacks to Tokyo Drift as well. I would have liked it if the old protagonist there could have actually fought a bit more with the team though. He was a solid racer in that movie after all so I feel like he could have really contributed even though he hasn’t been in the game for a while. That’s just how good he should be when he’s behind the wheel since you never really lose those skills. They just stick with you through thick and thin.

Overall, F9 is a pretty good movie. It just feels a bit more forgettable than the others. Maybe it needed to pick a plot and focus on it more like the rivalry with Jakob. There’s a whole lot of untapped potential there. We find out some twists about the past of course but at the end of the day I wouldn’t say it makes Jakob look all that great anyway. Maybe the next film will help me like him more but with how his character arc went he’s already going to be rather different this time around. If you’ve watched the previous titles then you definitely need to check this out and I would still recommend it to the average movie viewer who isn’t into the series yet. It may not be the best one but it’s pretty fun and at the end of the day what more do you need than that right?

Overall 7/10

All The Money in the World

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film about a pretty big kidnapping back in the day. Now this was a while ago so if you aren’t familiar with the Getty family then you shouldn’t feel bad about it. I know about the people here but nothing about the kidnapping. Can’t say I even knew this was a thing that had happened back in the day so the film does a good job of telling the events here. Naturally I can’t speak to the historical accuracy of everything here but it was a good movie at any rate.

The movie starts with John getting kidnapped after hanging out in a rough part of town. I’m not sure exactly what he was doing there, maybe just trying to prove a point like he was strong or something? Either way it was not a good move in the slightest and just ended up getting him into a lot of trouble. After he is kidnapped, the kidnappers contact his mother Gail for millions of dollars. She has no funds but they want her to contact John’s grandfather Paul. Paul is the richest man in the world and apparently at the time he also became the richest person in the history of the world. So in theory he could pay the fee in an instant but chooses not too and instead hires an ex CIA agent named Fletcher to find and recover John. Fletcher is to work with Gail on this while keeping her out of the loop and as you can expect she is not happy in the slightest. Every minute they don’t pay the ransom is another minute of her son being in danger. Can the heroes win the day?

Paul ends up being one of the main antagonists in the film. Now of course he’s not as bad as the kidnappers for obvious reasons but the film makes it abundantly clear that saving John isn’t one of his priorities. He wants to keep his money at all costs and won’t be giving any out. Now, there are some valid arguments he makes but they all start to slip out of the window as we see more of his true self. So you can’t really defend the guy and he just turned out to be no good. The scene where he tries to shake Gail dry out of any money and taking away her kids showed exactly where his true loyalties lay. money was all that he cared about.

Now before the mask fell off and we saw his true face, here’s why I thought it was reasonable not to pay the random initially. Apparently Paul has over 15 different children around the world and it makes sense that it would inspire a lot of copycat crimes if he was to pay the ransom. He would end up losing his money quickly but more importantly it would also put the children in danger. Additionally, he gets many fake kidnapping letters and constant letters asking for money. Determining if the kidnapping was real and who actually needs help isn’t easy. It is a legitimate problem of being rich. Again, it goes out the window later on but initially it actually makes sense.

Likewise with hiring Fletcher on the downlow. It at least seemed like Paul was trying to get to the bottom of this but ultimately that’s just not how things played out. John goes through a rather tough ordeal for the entire film so there’s not much to say about him. He’s on the run the whole time and just trying to survive. Of course with hindsight you can recommend different options to him but he did well in escaping multiple times and there just wasn’t really anywhere to go.

Meanwhile Gail did a good job the whole time. She tries to earn the money through many different tactics and it’s just hard. She’s going up against everyone since she really doesn’t have a ton of support. Paul doesn’t want to give any money after all and while the general public may help with a kickstarter if this was in 2022, you can’t expect to raise millions of dollars that way. Emotionally she is absolutely taken to the breaking point as well but always stays strong. She keeps it together in public even when the paparazzi tell her to cry. They definitely seem as unhinged as always which seems like a really accurate representation from what I’ve seen.

As for Fletcher, I would say he was the MVP here. A lot of developments would not have been possible without him taking an extra close interest in the case. He was the guy that Gail needed to have her back and he did when the chips were down. Even if it meant putting his job on the line and going against his boss, he helped her out. He’s a very likable guy without a doubt. The guy stands his ground and does what he thinks is right in all situations.

There are a lot of good politics going on here between the characters. For the most part nobody likes each other but you have to put on some kind of a polite pretense or you won’t be getting far at all. Gail does a great job with this when dealing with Paul since I’m sure she would love to just absolutely crush the guy if given a choice. She has to play ball because she needs the money and knows how to play the long game. So she also deserves a whole lot of credit here. Nobody ever wants to be put into this situation and it’s why you won’t have any sympathy for any of the kidnappers. There’s one who tries to be a little nicer but at the end of the day if you’re in this line of work then there is really no hope for you. I know situations can be tough and maybe you’re in the wrong spot but at no point can I find any room to have sympathy for this guy. Some career choices just have no room for that and human trafficking and kidnapping absolutely falls into that.

Overall, This was a very interesting movie. It draws your attention and especially if you don’t know how the events concluded it will get very suspenseful. They pulled no punches with this film and I appreciated that. Now some parts can get a little intense like I would have cut out the ear scene personally. I know that’s likely a big part of the story but it’s the only part that really gets gruesome while this is mostly an emotional mental thriller. Even if John gets out alive by the end, you know that he will never be quite the same after this. You just don’t fully recover when you’ve been through the wringer like that but you hope he will mostly be okay and it still beats the alternative.