Category Archives: 4 Star Games

Spongebob Squarepants Lights Camera Pants Review

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I’m always up for a retro Gamecube game and I got this one as a souvenir from my very first SSB4 tournament. It’s a Spongebob party game so I thought that it would make for a decent playthrough and who knows…maybe it would be a lot of fun! Unfortunately, it was actually less fun than I had expected and that’s mainly due to the lack of options within the game. It’s very short and compact to the point where I feel bad for anyone who may have bought this on day 1 at full price. I shudder at the thought!

The plot of the game revolves around an episode that is being created about Mermaid Man. The director is looking for actors willing to grab the roles that are left, but they’ll have to earn them by playing a lot of games. Spongebob and friends are up for the job! There’s not much of a story though because every cutscene is basically just the director talking to the organizer of the event. Rinse and repeat a few times until the commercial is done. The game is incredibly short as a result. Each area has 3 mini games to complete and then you move on to the next area. I forgot how many areas there are, but one playthrough should be enough to easily get through the game. It’ll take you around 2-3 hours I believe and if you skip cutscenes, then that total significantly decreases.

One of the problems about the cutscene at the end is that it isn’t handled well. Every time you beat an area, you get to see one scene from the episode. Once you beat the game…you get to see the full episode. The problem is that you’ve already watched 90% of it so instead of enjoying the final product, it’s just really boring. The episode has such low replay value that even just watching it a second time isn’t very long. It’s also about as long as a real episode so that final cutscene just drags on and on. I would actually recommend just skipping it since it’s unlikely to get you hyped or impressed.

Granted, the episode had some good lines in it. I forgot how old Mermaid Man was nowadays and he just doesn’t understand anything that’s happening. It’s like Knuckles from Sonic Boom, but not nearly as funny. I can see the humor of Mermaid Man though and he’s decently funny, but I’m not sure if the other characters can keep up. It’s purposefully campy like the classic Superfriends so a show about Mermaid Man would have some potential, but again…I wouldn’t want to see any episode twice. At least not twice in the same day!

As for the gameplay, some of the minigames do have potential, but nothing is handled right. Every minigame has a mandatory timer so that none of them can end before 3 minutes. (Typically) This means that even the most enjoyable of games will start to drag on. I’ve always preferred stocks/lives/health points to a timer system since it encourages you to get good and really take on your opponents. With a timer system, you can build a big lead, but you’ll still have to wait for the timer to finish. It’s just not fun and drags the minigames down.

The best minigame is easily the one that ripped off Mario Party. I’ve noticed that just about every party game rips this minigame off, but that’s a good thing since it’s always fun. You have to balance on a ball of sorts and knock your opponents off. It’s fun, but the area is so small that it can be very hard to do anything without falling. You could say that this takes skills or you could say that the game tried too hard to make it an even playing field for newcomers and pros alike so a lot of the enjoyment was squeezed out. Nonetheless, this is the best minigame in the whole collection. (Again, not much of a collection though) There’s a nice car minigame and climbing the mountain is decent as long as your partner doesn’t sabotage you. There’s even a nifty Soccer game. Again, the problem is that you have to play these games until the timer ends and some of the minigames actually end up copying each other, which isn’t cool. In such a short game, this is pretty unacceptable.

Even the enjoyable games could have been better if the company had put more of an effort into the project. This game is definitely a cash in and may have been phoned in by the devs. I can only imagine what the reviews would be like nowadays for a game like this one. Spongebob was apparently a good show back in the day (It never caught my eye) so it deserves a lot better than this.

I’d say that the graphics are decently good. They won’t be something to write home about like Sonic Adventure 2 Battle, but they’re not that bad either. They’re essentially a nonfactor while playing the minigames. You can still tell what and where everything is and that’s the important thing. The game will be over before you know it after all. There’s not really a soundtrack to speak of. Any tunes that were in the game were instantly and completely forgotten. That’s the problem with having such a forgettable soundtrack.

There is also no real replay value here. Why are most of the minigames 2 vs 2 contests? That doesn’t really make sense for a party game. If you’re a group of 3, then one person is going to have to be with the computer and I can assure you that you won’t have a great experience. There are a few free for all contests, but it’s a very small number of them. I don’t understand the thought process that went behind this and maybe the developers forgot that they were making a game midway through. Once you have beaten the game, there’s really nothing to do. The only thing that you have for replay value is really just playing the minigames again a few times. Yeah…I don’t think I want to do that anytime soon. You can go for the high scores, but that’s not much of an incentive either. This game is definitely lacking in bonus content.

Overall, This is a game that’s best left on the forgotten shelves. I planned to get a few other Spongebob games, but that might have to wait for a while after this. The next time that I want a Gamecube game, I’ll just get Kirby Air Ride or Gotcha Force. Granted, Gotcha Force is going for 100 dollars and up right now so it’ll also have to wait for a little while. There’s really no reason to get this game and the only reason that it’s not lower is that some of the minigames are decent. It’s not borderline unplayable or anything like that, but there is no reason to play it. This would be a bad game if it didn’t even have that or if it forced you to keep on playing them over and over again in a very stretched out story mode. Either way, I do not recommend this title and you’re better off getting just about anything else. I was really torn between giving this game a 4 or a 5 and in the end, I had to go with my gut.

Overall 4/10

Rec Room Games Review

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It’s time to play another game from the 5 dollar bin. I got this one for under 2 dollars so I’d say that it was a steal. It’s too bad that the game didn’t actually end up being good though. That was a bit of a let down since party games should automatically be a lot of fun. How can you mess up short mini games? All you have to do is come up with an activity that will be fun for 30-60 seconds and you have your mini game.

The game jumps you right to the mini game selection screen. All 20 of them are available from the get go and there are no other modes to look at. Literally, the only other option here is to jump to the credits and mayyybe options, but I don’t think that there are any. Seriously, you’re basically thrown to the games and there is 0 replay value. Your high scores aren’t even recorded, which is pretty odd for a game like this one. This means that unless you really like the mini games enough to play them a few times, you’ll be done with this game in an hour or less. There is nothing to keep you and it’s rare to find a game with 0 replay value, but this title pulled it off.

The graphics are decent I suppose. They didn’t put a whole lot of effort into them as you can imagine, but I wouldn’t say that they look downright bad either. I dunno, I guess it’s just hard to make a game that I think looks really bad. You’d have to put in a lot of effort to give a game that appearance and I don’t think that companies want to do such a thing. Not just yet anyway! The soundtrack is rather forgettable. It’s decent though, but I’d like some more variety. A few more tunes to keep me excited and ready for whatever comes next. Rec Room doesn’t pull that off, but why should it? This game was in the 2 dollar bin for a reason right!

In the end, the only thing to really talk about here is the mini games. I can either stretch this section out a bit or let the review end early. Hmmm, decisions decisions. Not all of the mini games are lousy, I feel like I should say this as a disclaimer. Some of them had some real potential and others actually managed to live up to that so kudos to the game. If you really think about it, this game could have gotten a quick 7 had it been on the PS3. Then again, I recently played a game with bears on the PS3 that was pretty bad so….maybe not. (That game’s still probably getting a 5-6 though)

The best mini game here by far is the Box Maze. You have to use the Wii Remote to tilt the surface of the stage as you gradually guide your ball to the correct hole. It takes skill and passion. A whole game on that could be interesting so long as it isn’t too repetitive and a plot surrounding the game is around to keep you interested. It was one of the first games that I played so I actually got a little hyped to see how the game would end up. Smack A Squirrel was also decent except for the concept, but they’re toy squirrels so that helps a bit. After all, I’ve skipped out on two Wii Games because they promoted animal violence. *shudders* The problem with this game is that your hammer is unresponsive and often times it will stop you from actually hitting the squirrel and you just tap it, which has no effect.

Then we got to some of the dicier games like Bowling. Wii Sports did a much better job with it than this game, but I’m sure that nobody is surprised at that. Good luck hitting anything with your swings! Alley Ball is another decent game. You have to flick the Wii Remote up to try and land the ball inside of the rings. The controls were surprisingly smooth for this game and it’s certainly a keeper. Disct Toss and Ring Toss sort of make each other a little redundant and likewise with Rubberband Sharpshooter. As you can imagine, throwing anything with the Wii Remote controls is a formula for failure. Table Tennis was probably the most disappointing game in the collection simply because it should have been good. Tennis should always be fun and it’s so easy to implement, but the game forgot how to make your characters miss. As long as you flail around with the Wii Remote, you can keep on returning just about every ball which leads to some very long points since the computer doesn’t want to give up either. The controls don’t hurt this one much, but are still a factor.

Darts is fairly decent, but the controls make it hard to ever hit your target. Chinese Checkers and Peg are quite similar and both of them are no fun at all. Maybe these games are better in real life, but I don’t see the appeal of moving across an empty field or just making lines until everything is gone. These titles couldn’t hold my attention. HillbillyGolf was pretty terrible and even worse than the real Golf. At least..in this version. You throw a little baton thing and the game is really broken. Foosball is surprisingly not that good as you simply can’t control your players quickly enough to do any real damage. Back to flinging the Wii Remote around until you win!

All right, back to the fun games…or as fun as you can get here. Trashcan Basketball is fairly interesting even if you’ll never be able to hit it. You have to throw paper in a trash, but the controls are incredibly unresponsive. Good luck trying to do anything here. Tic Tac Toe Toss has some potential, although the rules are a little odd. You throw things to connect the lines and the game operates on pure chance. Air Hockey is decent. As expected, the controls hold it back a little, but it still manages to be decently fun.

Table Hockey is a lot of fun and actually has a semblance of skill and effort as you try to score. Controlling your players is as difficult as in Foosball, but it’s more fun and actually feels real. Dodgeball is another one of the best games and I may have to actually dethrown Box Maze. Yes, I changed my mind during the review, but I forgot about Dodgeball. This is why it’s good to have the game’s cover in front of me! I made a monster comeback in my first attempt at the game so you can bet that I will not be forgetting it! I didn’t talk about all of the games, but I mentioned most of them. There are 20 in total, so feel free to play them all! (It’s all you can do here anyway)

Overall, Rec Room Games is not my idea of a fun time and odds are that it’s not yours either. Most of the games are simply not balanced correctly so some are too long while others make you wonder how they’re supposed to be fun. There are some enjoyable games here, but considering how long it takes you to beat them, you can still get bored in 30 minutes quite easily. With no high scores to think of, replaying the minigames by yourself or with friends is the only thing to do. This lack of replay value is what ultimately made me decide to give the game a 4 instead of a 5. It was close and the games are good enough to get a 5, but the title just feels lazy and that’s inexcusable for any video game title! I do not recommend this game, even for 2 dollars you could….well, maybe you can still get this game. It’ll still get you your money’s worth, but maybe you should just get a Pepperoni Pizza at one of the dollar shops where it’ll cost you 1:50. Then you can save the other 50 cents for your insurance. No worries folks, I’ll be reviewing more bargain bin games soon!

Overall 4/10

We Ski Review

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I rarely ever give video games a negative review. I’ve played hundreds of them in the past and have probably only considered around 10 of them to be downright bad. That being said, I’m afraid this game earns that. While it may have some redeemable features, it’s not enough to break even and I really won’t be missing this title. It was quite the challenge playing it for as long as I did.

There’s not really a story mode here. You’re launched into a very snowy island and have to fend for yourself. It’s tough, but your Mii is ready for whatever obstacles he may face. Prepare for a lot of not very helpful NPCs as they will tell you to be careful, but not much more than that. You can run around taking photos and doing side quests like that or just tackle each of the Ski trails. The one sad thing about the Ski Trails is that you’re just trying to get a solid ranking. You’re not actually racing or competing with the other racers in any shape or form. That’s a bit of a let down since I can tell you that the racing is the best part of the game and I only got to experience that through multiplayer mode.

For the Ski Trails, you get ranked on how fast you completed the level, how quickly you were moving, how many tricks you did, and how good you were at turning. If you get 3 S+ rankings and 1 D, your ranking for that stage ends up being a D. It’s a very dicey way to score a section and will make you wish that it was more like a regular video game which gives you a nice average. It doesn’t help that the game isn’t all that fun so you may not bother trying to get your ranking any higher after a while.

Why is the game simply not fun? It all comes down to the controls. This game is very unresponsive and you will find it accepting your commands after a delay at times, which can destroy you in the tricks category. Turning in this game is broken as the game wants you to do a lot of really small turns to get a passing grade, but it’s extremely difficult to do so while still getting a good ranking on speed. It’s just hard to get any traction in the snow and your character will simply refuse to move from his spot. It can get quite annoying and makes you restart the level once again.

Naturally, the game uses motion controls so you’ll be tilting your controls every which way to try and move, but it will be to no avail. You’ll quickly realize that it’s all futile, but at least you’ll understand the controls right away. You simply won’t be able to win with them…that’s a shame. As mentioned earlier, there are various modes here like racing and Moguls, but they all play exactly the same way. You’ll be riding down a slope with your Skis and it’s a fight to the finish!

On the bright side, the graphics are actually fairly decent. They’re not amazing, but they get the job done and the game is certainly very clear so you always know what is happening. The soundtrack is also fairly good. You can actually hear some Pac Man music if you strain your ears. I can’t prove this, but it certainly sounds like the classic theme, although it may have been slightly remixed. Either way, that’s reason enough to play the game right? Wrong!

There’s not a whole lot of replay value to be found here unless you actually like the game. If you do, then you can have fun in multiplayer or completing all of the quests in Single Player. Unlocking everything at the shop should buy you some time and getting all S ranks will be no small feat. You can probably spend lots of hours just owning all of the events as long as the controls are doable for you. The game is deceptively difficult thanks to the controls though so that really extends the game’s length. Seriously, it’s just unreal, but I did get an S rank or two myself so that was neat.

See, I just can’t get past the controls. Try as I might to like the game, it simply didn’t work for me. The game didn’t grow on me like the MnM’s game did. That being said, I’m still planning on getting the sequel at some point. It may just be the power of a good trailer, but the sequel actually looks really good and the gameplay seems to have sped up quite a bit. That’s what I’m talking about and the excitement/hype is very real now! I can’t guarantee that the sequel will be a good game, but I certainly hope that it can rise to the occasion.

Overall, We Ski can proudly show itself off to the world as one of the only bad games that I have ever played. At its core, We Ski still shines as a game with potential. The multiplayer mode is actually quite fun after all and the Skiing can be all right when the controls are actually working smoothly for a change. These things are just inconsistent at best and dicey at worst so you can’t really count on the game. A game should never be frustrating to play and I don’t really see myself playing this game again. It’s time for it to build up dust in the game collection area, but at least it had its moment. If you manage to get all S ranks in the levels for this game, you’re a true warrior!

Overall 4/10

Calvin Tucker’s Redneck Farm Animal Racing Tournament Review

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That’s a really long title right? It’s a little sadder when you realize what it’s actually abreviating. Calvin Tucker’s Redneck….hmmmmm. It’s all very intriguing and a little sad. On the main menu, they actually edit the title and take the word Redneck out. The game developers and marketing guys must have not been on the same page, but I suppose that it happens. This is certainly not one of the high budget games that you will look at and be amazed at how far it’s gone. The gameplay actually looks better on the Nintendo DS, but I can’t confirm that at this time.

When you enter the game you have a free play mode and tournament mode. Being the epic gamer that I am, I launched right into the tournament mode. There are about 5 tournaments if I recall correctly and each one is 4 races with the exception of one that is only 3. Each stage is only two laps so it’s actually a fairly short mode. Keep in mind that you need to win the tournament or you’ll have to try it again. I had to try again 2-4 times, but the game wasn’t very difficult. The controls were the only challenging part and you get the hang of them eventually.

The gameplay is fairly straight forward as this is a racing game. Get to the finish line first and you’re the winner. You hold the Wii Remote horizontally in this game, which is usually the default setup for all racing games. You gain items throughout the course that you can use to throw at opponents or give yourself a boost. Each character has their own special ability that you get to use every time you collect 8 coins. There are a lot of coins in each level so getting enough coins is a rather simple process. It shouldn’t take you very long at all. You really want to be a character who has a good special ability since it can make a big difference between winning and losing.

Almost all of the characters in this game are called Billy, which is a really fun concept. I forgot which Billy I used, but he’s the one who has a booster as his special ability. I highly recommend going with that guy for the tournaments once you unlock him. Alternately, having a special ability that throws something at an opponent can also be very useful when you’re in a tough spot. Remember to keep your eyes on the road at all times since even a small bump can really launch you off the track. Bumping into other opponents will typically hurt you more than them so I wouldn’t recommend that either. Just steer clear of everyone else and drive a solid game. So long as you do those two things, you should be all set to rock and roll.

As for the soundtrack, it’s a little on the generic side. The themes that play are what you would expect from a farm title. I would have preferred themes that took the racing a little more seriously. Something action packed and quick would have been my ideal choice for the game even if the actual gameplay isn’t very fast. As it is, the music doesn’t really help the game. Neither does the graphics. They aren’t downright terrible, but I have seen Super Nintendo games that have looked better so take that as you will. The character models aren’t very clear and it can be very hard to see an obstacle until you are already crashing, which isn’t cool.

A good thing to remember is that you can hit the minus button to reset your car after you crash. I didn’t learn that until the final tournament and it can really help you when you’re in a pinch so always keep that option in mind and it’ll help you a lot throughout your races. The controls are a little sketchy when turning, but they’re not as bad as they could be. I believe that the main problem is just that the cars are super weak so banging into anything will really cause you to do a big turnaround and get into some trouble. That’s where the reset button comes in handy.

There’s not a lot of replay value here and you can probably be done with the game in a few hours depending on how easy the races are for you. If you do find them to be very easy, then you can probably beat the game in 2 hours and have nothing left to do. This is not a game that has a whole lot of replay value and you may never pick it up again unless you have someone to play it with. The multiplayer option is its only form of replay value and that’s only if you want to play this over a better racing game like Mario Kart.

It’s easy to think of this as a bad game, but it’s actually a tough call between giving it a 4 and a 5. I got it for only a dollar or 2 so the content wasn’t bad considering that, but it’s almost not fair to lower the bar for the game on account of the price. At the same time, I could see the game getting a slightly lower score if I had bought it for retail price way back in the day. It’s safe to say that the rating has a small impact on what I ultimately end up giving the game.

Overall, The Calvin Tucker game is certainly one of the weaker racing games that I’ve played in a while. It’s better than Quad Kings, but that’s not saying a whole lot. I felt like the game didn’t really put a lot of effort into the actual racing, which is a little odd considering that it’s a racing game. I can only assume that the budget was incredibly small, which is why it doesn’t look or sound very good. The gameplay is the main part though and it’s not really that bad. If the game had been a lot longer then it may have been an issue, but it was a very short game so I didn’t mind it all that much. I think that I’m going to have to give the game a 4. It may be the best 4 that I’ve ever played, but I don’t think that there are enough positives to totally warrant a 5. This is one racing game that you may want to skip, but if you find that you have an extra 2 dollars lying around, maybe you should skip out on ordering that frappe and just buy this game. It’ll last you a little longer than the frappe after all!

Overall 4/10

The Destiny of Zorro Review

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Time to check out one of the classic Wii games that I got from the 5 dollar bin recently. Naturally, these games are typically in the 5 dollar bin for a good reason, but that never deters me from grabbing a game with potential. Zorro certainly has this as it’s an action game with a lot of fighting, but it manages to really blow most of its opportunities.

The plot sees Zorro vanquish some evil doers before he meets the toughest opponent yet. Mr. Calavera kidnaps the main heroine of the story and he heads off to an ancient location to become the King of the people there. He has already tricked them all so Zorro will have to infiltrate the island and defeat all of the guards. Once he has done that, nothing can protect Calavera from Zorro’s fury!

It’s a rather basic plot, but that helps it achieve that retro feel that the developers were aiming for. There are 14 levels in the game and some of them can be 5-9 minutes while others will take around 20-25 to complete. Typically, the levels tend to be on the long side, which can really make them drag on at times. A level will usually have you defeat a certain number of enemies, break an object, beat more enemies, and maybe even walk a little if you’re lucky. Diffusing bombs is easily the worst part of the game.

Battling enemies sounds fun, but that’s where the game eats up most of your time. You’ll have to defeat enemies in batches of 10 many times and you can’t defeat an opponent as easily as you would expect. Most enemies take 8 hits to defeat and the bigger ones require more of an effort from you. When they gather in groups, you’ll need to try to get some hits in through hit and run tactics, which are always a little risky. Sometimes, I would die 6-7 times before defeating an enemy because it is very difficult to separate them.

This is where the “unlimited lives” part comes into the equation. When you die, you are sent back a few steps, but the enemies keep their current health status. So, even if you lose a few dozen times, you can wear down the enemies eventually. It just takes some time and a good strategy at the ready. The only times where you can actually die and have to restart the area is when the bombs are present. I was taken out by them during one of the levels. (I blame it on the controls) Replaying a 17 minute level can definitely be dicey and I’m glad that it only happened once. There’s a chance that you can also lose in the second final level with the tower, but I didn’t lose there so I’m not positive about that. If there was ever a game that deserved to have infinite lives, it was this one. You really need them since there are no checkpoints and starting from the beginning is never any fun.

For the controls, this is back during the good ole Wii Remote days. You just swing it around a lot to slash at the opponents and jab at the screen for a stab. Stabs are the most effective attacks since you can KO almost any opponent in two hits with it. (The final boss takes 3 to defeat him) The reason why you need 8 attacks to usually win a battle is that normal attacks have no effect on the villains. They help you build up stamina so that you can hold B and then use the same attacks to actually deal damage. 3 hits gives you enough meter for one stab so you repeat the process once more. That lets you beat just about any opponent in the game. You also have Z attacks that lets you do a quick combo which also gives you back some health. It’s useful although it does around the same damage as a stab.

Zorro has a lasso that you can use, but it barely even stuns an opponent so there’s never a reason to use it in battle. It comes in handy for the platforming areas though as you jump from place to place. Considering that this game is not exactly a big budget title, you can see how the controls can be problematic. Using an attack that you didn’t intend too or watching an opponent slash you through a wall are common occurrences. One of the final bosses was pretty annoying with this as the goal of the fight is to let him hit a totem pole while you hide behind it. Many times, he would just slash right through it and knock you out. 2-3 hits are usually enough to beat Zorro so that is never a lot of fun.

Unfortunately, the retro feeling doesn’t help for the cutscenes. Zorro is the kind of hero that you can’t root for as he is always looking for romance and flirting with his alter ego’s friend is not beneath him. You really can’t root for the guy and his dialogue can be pretty off at times. He just talks in a 40’s manner as he says his lines very slowly and he loves to insult his opponents while talking. “Do you mind fighting up wind” is a line that you will probably hear about 100 times as you play the game since the dialogue can be pretty limited. The cutscenes are all stills so don’t expect any big cutscenes.

The soundtrack is definitely old and it’s not very engaging. You will barely hear it as you are playing anyway, but it’s definitely worth noting. The graphics are pretty sub par as well. The game often forgets to switch the head on the top when a character is talking and almost all of the enemies look the same. There isn’t a whole lot of detail added to anything so all of the backgrounds begin to look the same after a while. I’ve seen Super Nintendo games that have looked better to be honest as the classic Super Mario World games have a lot more detail and refinement. Actually, this is probably one of the worst looking games of all time and that is a little sad.

In the game’s defense, the combat system did have potential. Chipping away at an enemy’s health using strategic moves sounds pretty good in theory does it not? The bosses had some fairly unique gimmicks like being immune to all hits except counters. The game never tells you what to do against them, but you tend to figure it out pretty quickly. Swinging the Wii Remote around isn’t even all that bad and had the enemies had smaller health bars, it could have been better. The problem is that the battles simply drag a lot so you ultimately stop having fun. The final boss is hilariously bad as you just block all of his hits for what feels like an eternity before finally getting the chance to counter and beating him in 3 hits.

Finally, the game has its share of glitches as well. There were quite a few times where I ended up getting frozen in place because my foot sank into the ground. The pixels must not have been solid enough and I could only watch as a sniper shot me from the distance. It’s a pretty sad way to go and if it was a 3D game you may have tried to yell for help only to realize that there are no allies in this game to come to your aid. That’s quite the predicament right?

Overall, The Destiny of Zorro is certainly not one of the better games out there. I had been tempted to give the game a 6 star rating as the gameplay was not terrible and the actual game just dragged it down from a 7. Unfortunately, playing the game more and more began to expose it as a worse game than that. I feel like a 6 would just be a little too positive for this title and a 4 feels more appropriate. The graphics and soundtrack only add to this feeling. The main reason why this game gets a negative ranking though is that it can be a little boring. It was a bit of a struggle trying to power through the final levels of the game and I blame that on how long they were. You’ll feel relieved to part ways from the game by the end and I really don’t see myself ever playing it again. I dare say that the first levels were better than the latter ones, but that is probably because they were shorter and didn’t drag on as much. I beat 4-5 levels on my first sitting and then just beat 1-2 on my other attempts before powering through the final 4 yesterday. I definitely don’t recommend this title and you should just go out and buy Super Smash Bros for Wii U if you want a good party fighting game.

Overall 4/10

Championship Foosball Review

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It’s time for another game review! “2 in one day…that’s insane!” That may be the case, but this game is only around 30 minutes long…maybe less. It was easy to quickly complete it and then get back to you guys with this review. It’s the latest game from the infamous 5 dollar bin and it really holds up well to the hype….sort of. This isn’t the kind of game that you should expect to keep you busy for a while. It’s a short experience and it’s not spectacular. Let’s see how it really fared!

There’s actually not a whole lot to say about it. There’s no plot of course. When you begin the game, the main menu is rather empty. You have your standard exhibition battle against a CPU or another player and then you have the tournament mode. There’s also a tutorial mode that features a lot of “Challenges” to help you learn the game. I always skip tutorials unless there are trophies involved so I ran for the tournament. The tournament has about 5 rounds and each one is a best 3 of 5 games set. Each game requires you to win 5 points. So, that sounds like it should stretch out the game right? It better because there’s nothing else to do!

Do you guys remember Table Soccer or Foosball? If not, I’ll quickly explain the gameplay. You are using Soccer rules, but on a small table. So, your players are tied to a line. 3 on 1, 3 on another, and so on. You get around 3-4 lines. You just have to kick the ball into the opponent’s net. Sounds easy enough right? Well….

The game actually gave me a bit of a tough time at first because this is the kind of game that is tough on the Wii Remote. Let’s face it, AAA games have trouble utilizing it so would a 2 dollar, low budget game really be able to refine the controls? I didn’t think so! Turning the guys on the field to hit the ball can be very difficult. I lost the first match because of this and it looked like the game was going to be surprisingly difficult. Luckily, I quickly realized that the 1 button was the key to success. Just hold B and spam the 1 button for the entire match. It allows all of your players to perform an infinity kick so you just need to keep moving and only worry about kicking the ball. This easily made me breeze through the championship. That being said, it’s pretty hard to land a sure goal. The ball moves incredibly fast when you hit it and you just have to keep on smacking the ball as you run up and down to eventually try and score. Your eyes will probably not be able to keep up. That part was actually pretty intense since that’s a pretty good feat for the game’s speed. I’m not sure if it’s because of all the colors flying around or the speed, but it’s still pretty cool.

The graphics are decent, but they aren’t great. The humans look downright terrible and this could give Balls of Fury some competition there. Luckily, the actual gameplay is pretty sharp and it’s what you would want from a Foosball title. The colors around the ball when it’s shot look pretty good and you really feel like you’re in the game. It’s rather surreal and it can be pretty enjoyable to watch a match. There isn’t really a soundtrack so it automatically loses points in that area.

Overall, it was actually difficult deciding if I should give this game a 4 or a 5. See, the game still does have multiplayer mode and the gameplay really wasn’t that bad once I found out about the 1 trick. I’d actually say that the gameplay is downright fun, but I lot of it almost feels like chance because of how fast it is. These are decent reasons to give the game a 5. On the other hand, the game was basically over in 30 minutes and then there is nothing else to do. There are shirts and stuff to unlock, but they don’t make much of a difference. In the end, the lack of replay value ended up hurting the game and I went with the first score. 30 minutes is way too short for any game, even if you do count multiplayer. It’s not as if this is the next Super Smash Bros! I think you could have some decent fun with this game if you’ve never played Foosball before, but the sport definitely has the potential to be a much better game. Once the novelty is worn out, the game loses its charm. You will be better off just getting Madden 15 or the latest FIFA….choose Madden. I would still consider this game to be a success for the 5 dollar bin though. Simply because it was pretty fun and a good way to spend 30 minutes on a rainy day. (It was literally raining the whole day while I was playing! It’s still raining right now I believe)

Overall 4/10

Enemy Territory Quake Wars Review

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It’s time for another first person shooter! TimeSplitters was pretty good so it’s safe to say that I had some reasonable hopes for this game. The level designs looked pretty intense from the back of the cover and it has a pretty sweet opening cutscene. I was all set for a pretty intense adventure, but this title is unfortunately not nearly as it could be. There’s a huge reason for this…so let’s get to it!

There is no real story mode. Let that sink in for a few minutes. There is a campaign mode and their are several countries to choose from, but it’s basically just a team Deathmatch like in Transformers. You can play them in online mode or offline. Naturally, it’s been a long time since this game came out so I didn’t even bother to check the servers. I jumped into the offline battle and it’s definitely not quite as entertaining on your own. You fight the enemies, but there is no plot and everything resets once you finish the level so you can try it again. You keep the level ups, but it’s really just like playing an online match by yourself.

I give the game credit for how big the levels are, but it’s not really enough to make this game a winner in my books. A story mode is a must or at least some more variety. There is seriously nothing to do in this game. I could play a lot of “multiplayer” matches by myself, but finishing one level was tough since it’s just so long. I definitely wouldn’t want to try the levels too many more times. You can optionally lower the timer to 10 minutes, but you still wouldn’t be accomplishing something. It would be another story if this game had trophies, but this was before the PS3 started giving them out to all of the games. Either way, I have a feeling that most of them wouldn’t be achievable anymore.

The gameplay is rather deep for an FPS. I dare say that it may be a little too complex, but I’m sure that Call of Duty fans will appreciate how much effort was put into this. You get 5 different weapons that you can shift between and you get to pick your class at the beginning of each match. Once you decide whether you want to be an alien or a human, you get to go onto the battlefield. You want to fulfill your objectives and conquer as much land as possible. The stage is so big that the battles easily take up the 40 minutes. I ended up dying about 50 times in those 40 minutes.

It’s similar to Star Fox Assault in that the vehicles are pretty overpowered. Your attacks don’t do all that much damage to them and a single hit will wipe you out. The enemy had a ton of objects at the ready to blast you with and my army felt pretty unprepared. You can also jump and duck. It’s a pretty realistic shooter as far as the mechanics are concerned. It’s also pretty cool to be able to coordinate such a large army and it’s like a beat em up, but without the fun parts. (The beating everyone up in fluid/fast gameplay that makes everything exciting.

The graphics definitely hold up rather well. A lot of detail has been added to the game and considering that this came out about half a decade ago, it holds up well. The enemy attacks really look cool and the opening is definitely something that will catch your attention. It’s very realistic, which works for the setting that this game has. I think the grenade explosions could be a little better, but this will have to do. There’s not much of a soundtrack here to speak of. It got lost in all of the shooting that was going on!

This game could have easily scored a 7 with a decent story mode. At least give us a 1 on 1 option for some local multiplayer! There really isn’t anything wrong with the gameplay and the levels really give you a lot of options. You can swim so you can go around the enemy base through water or you can set up ambushes in a factory. This game is really extensive and you could certainly make some real plans as long as you got the microphone for the PS3. On your own, none of that is an option and the game loses over 95% of its replay value. Fighting against computers isn’t very exciting and there are no real rewards, which also takes away the incentive of playing it. A game should always prioritize story mode over the online functions or at least make sure that it is a reasonably good option. This game had a lot of potential, but it ultimately blew it.

Overall, Quake Wars was definitely not as good as TimeSplitters. At its peak, I’m confident that it will have still lost since I preferred the gameplay in the futuristic title. It may have been rather simplistic, but that’s definitely okay for an FPS. The speed of the gameplay was important as well. Quake Wars is a dependable game if you just want to earn exp on your own against some computers, but know that there isn’t anything to do with it. It’s like questing by yourself in an MMO with no story and no ultimate goal. For that reason, this game is almost unplayable. You can definitely get it for a low price, but if you want to play a real FPS, check out Agent Under Fire for Gamecube! Now that is an FPS with a story that also contains a very solid multiplayer alternative.

Overall 4/10

Casper Scare School Spooky Sports Day Review

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I had never heard of this game until I saw it in the 5 and under bin at my local gamestop. I was hooked once I noticed the friendly ghost on the cover, but I checked the back of the cover to make sure that it would be fun. I saw a screenshot of a soccer game and I ignored everything else as I dashed to the cashier! (Along with two other Wii games) Unfortunately, the game is not tremendously fun and it wouldn’t be worth paying 30 bucks for. (Luckily, I got it for under 2 so it wasn’t a bad buy considering the price)

Okay…not tremendously fun is probably an exaggeration. It almost sounds positive that way right? Casper does have some endearing moments in the game, but it’s really not that good. This is due to a lack of replay value and the fact that the game is almost empty. You can beat the game twice in around an hour or less. I ended up beating it twice so that I could have 100% unlocked everything in the game. (You unlock a character for beating the inverted story mode) The booklet claims that there is a plot, but if it’s not in the game…then it’s not going in the review. The actual game has no story mode!

When you boot up the game…it’s empty. There isn’t anything on the screen….until you get past the title screen. Once there, you have the main mode, which has 7 minigames in it. That’s it….there is nothing else. There’s no multiplayer mode or any other place to do something. These are the 7 minigames that will take up all of your time in the game. If you get bored of them…then it’s game over. The game keeps track of your high score so I suppose that you can keep trying to beat them, but the games aren’t quite That fun. After you beat every minigame once, you get to play them again, but in a happier setting. Once you beat those, you now have the final character and you have done everything that there is to do. Ah well….let’s talk about the games!

Frog Lab is my least favorite so we’ll have it start off. You basically have to drop frogs in jars and stop kids from stealing them as your partner takes them to safety. It’s simple enough and you shouldn’t have a problem winning on your first try after leaving the room for a water break. You have so much time that it’s scary! There just wasn’t anything enjoyable about this minigame and it’s incredibly basic.

Skateboarding was all right, but not very fun either. You have to launch with your skateboard and then memorize a pattern of buttons from the Wii remote and quickly tap them in. Don’t worry about remembering the correct buttons because you can just keep on hitting them all until you got the right ones. You get unlimited tries until you hit the ground and that’s plenty of time to get all of the commands until you’re nearing the end. I like memorization and it’s a good game in theory, but also extremely easy and parts of this minigame just feel too slow. You have to watch Casper launch into the air quite a lot by the end.

Goal Creeper isn’t bad and it actually takes some skill. You have to go up to a soccer ball and then follow the line on the screen with your wii remote to hit the goal keeper. Yellow balls are worth 3X the points of regular ones so just ignore the regular ones entirely and you’re guaranteed to win by a landslide. Overall, this was definitely a good minigame, but you’ll probably get bored of it after a few tries since the computer doesn’t provide you with a challenge.

Gymnastics didn’t feel like it worked as it should have. You have to shake the wii remote as soon as a circle is approaching another circle. (Think of Dance Dance Revolution and how you have to step at exactly the right moment) You don’t need the circles to be too close before you shake and they’ll usually give you the points, but the game is tricky about this. Sometimes it will work and other times it won’t. It’s pretty easy and you’ll get the hang of it, but the mechanics felt unfinished. It’s also repetitive as you do a few jumps and head back to the beginning…over and over and over again.

Keepy Uppies involves a soccer ball that Casper kicks into the air. From there it is vertical Flappy Bird, but without the pipes to bang into! Just tap on a bird as you pass him and he’ll launch you up even further. Grab the points from the sky and keep on going. It’s the easiest game in the batch and it’s almost impossible to lose. You must really be trying to lose if you lose this round. Just wave your Wii remote around and keep pressing A everywhere. You’ll never hit the ground and you’ll get all of the points. There isn’t any challenge in this game so it’s not a whole lot of fun.

The Dragon Egg Spoon Race is decently fun. You have to point with your wii remote to make sure that you keep the egg balanced on your spoon as you run to the goal and jump over obstacles. It’s simple, but it can still be hard not to drop the egg since the meter can be a little dicey and the character is very wobbly. Even if you drop the egg, you’ll probably beat the opponents pretty easily so you don’t really need to worry about it.

People Chase is the best minigame from the batch. It’s a track and field match and you have to run for the goal line. There are boosters that amp up your speed and you need to jump over rocks from time to time. Dodging the snails is a must and you have to watch out for other players trying to get in your way. It’s another easy minigame and it’s very short as you can beat it in under a minute, but it was fun. It’s easily my favorite!

What you may have noticed from all of the minigames was that they weren’t challenging. Most of them were actually fun and they would have been more enjoyable if there was a two player option. Battling a real opponent in those games would have been great. At least add a hard mode or something to make things interesting! As it stands, you don’t want to keep on playing those games over and over again because it’s just too easy. You can keep track of your score, but there isn’t much in the way of incentives. You’re not going to unlock anything so you may as well have fun in Mario Party.

I feel obliged to mention the graphics and soundtrack even if we don’t really have much in the way of music. The main theme for the game isn’t bad, but it’s not memorable in the slightest and you’ll forget it very quickly. The graphics are sub par and you can tell that they didn’t put a lot of effort into making sure that everything looked good. Casper actually looks pretty creepy with that grin he’s constantly keeping in place. The rest of the characters are pretty unimaginative. These graphics could be surpassed on the PS1 and feel as if they’re from a free computer game from a long time ago.

Overall, I can’t recommend this game with a clear conscience. 7 Minigames can only last so long and there is nothing to do after you play them. This game wouldn’t even be good as a rental since you can beat it in around 20-30 minutes. There’s no Story Mode or any other modes to play so you’re sunk. It’s still hard to believe that a game can be this empty, but I guess that’s how it goes. I definitely don’t regret buying this game since I got it for under 2. Plus it gave me a chance to review the game and try it out. I’m always happy to try out a game unless it’s truly terrible and unplayable. (I hope Balls of Fury isn’t that bad but I had to put it down after one level. I shall review it if I ever get around to beating it) Instead of getting this game, just buy Wii Sports. You’ll be better off and you can spend the two dollars on a bottle of water with a slice of pizza.

Overall 4/10