Category Archives: 6 Star Movies

Battle Beyond the Stars Review

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This movie is definitely like a cross between Star Wars and the Seven Samurai. It’s really about recruiting a bunch of people to fight the enemy overlords and then we get to the big climax. It’s a good movie that is bogged down by some terrible writing. This may be the first time I’ve had to say that in a while but yes the writing is absolutely abysmal at times. You’ll see what I mean as we go through this but ultimately I would still give the movie a thumbs up. It may not be the best sci-fi out there but it does a lot of things right.

The film starts off with the evil emperor Sador deciding to take down another planet. This time he is after a peaceful planet that has no real fighting capabilities. They don’t want to go down without a fight though so Shad is sent off into the vast universe to find people who will help fight off the powerful villains. It’s going to be a tough sell because they don’t have any money or priceless artifacts to give up. Anyone who helps out will be doing so out of the goodness of their hearts…yeah. That’s not going to be a great way to get the best help out there but Shad will do his best.

Okay so here’s where the biggest glaring issue of the film comes in. They are absolutely desperate to get some bounty hunters to help. Truly desperate, Shad is asking everyone he meets if they can help. We’re talking from drunk Cowboys to random aliens who share a consciousness. It doesn’t really matter just how good they are, he just needs people. So about halfway into the movie we have Saint-Exmin show up and she is stoked to be a part of the crew. She is begging to join even so that she can fight and even if she dies, then she will have died in the line of duty in an honorable way. It makes a lot of sense so…Shad will let her in right? She is from a warrior race and her entire ship is built for combat.

No, Shad tells her to get lost and thinks she’s annoying. He figures she is weak and they’re better off without her. It’s gotta be one of the dumbest things I’ve heard in a long time. It made absolutely no sense and throughout the film he is a jerk to her for absolutely no reason. Yeah he finally apologizes near the very end but it felt like there must have been a few scenes left on the cutting floor or something. There was absolutely no reason for what he was doing there. It was virtually film breaking because it goes against the entire plot and this is the only time that Shad acts like this. It still makes no sense.

I can’t say I liked Shad much as a main character even aside from that whole thing though. For starters, he is a bit too oblivious about everything. He doesn’t really know anything about romance aside from breeding and is super slow on the uptake. All of the flirting and romance in the movie is painful to watch as a result. You are waiting to just get onto the next plot point each time. Nanelia also doesn’t know much about romance and since she is the main heroine that doesn’t bode well for either of them. Saint-Exmin at least tries to pass on her knowledge so I appreciate that. It may be a bit too bold for some but being bold is the best way to move forward within reason.

Saint-Exmin was actually a solid character. Would have been nice if she wasn’t used for fanservice all the time but her core personality was solid which is what counts. Meanwhile Nanelia wasn’t all that interesting. It felt like she was more of a nothing character who didn’t have any big ambitions or goals of her own. It would have been good if she could have had more to do in the film considering that she is one of the first ones to join in on this whole rebellion.

The characters recruited later on all have more of a role. You’ve got the Cowboy who shows up early on and gets a whole subplot. At first he doesn’t want to fight since he figures its a losing battle and doesn’t want anyone to look up to him but gradually gets his courage back and does really well. He’s someone you can count on when the chips are down even if at first he was really hesitant. That was definitely a pretty uplifting moment for the guy and by the end he was one of the more heroic ones.

My favorite helper was Gelt who is basically the world’s strongest bounty hunter. This guy was a serious threat and definitely not someone to be underestimated. His whole intro is really cool as we learn how everyone else was exterminated. He’s the main reason the heroes can even stand a chance against the main villain. Gelt earned his title and I would definitely be down for a prequel film about this guy. It would definitely be loaded with action and you get the feeling there is more to his past than what he is letting on.

Finally we have the 5 aliens with a shared conscience. They’re not bad, I definitely don’t envy them though. Imagine someone else constantly being in your head 24/7 at all times without any way out of that? That would be absolutely brutal. No privacy taken to the extreme. You could probably use this in some creative ways in a battle series but that’s not exactly what this movie is all about. They do a good job of filling in the last roster slots but that’s about all I would say for these guys.

The film spends so much time recruiting the heroes that we don’t have much time for the villains though. There are some mini villains scattered throughout the film but the main villain himself? He’s more of an obstacle to be defeated than a full fledged villain in his own right. He actually had potential with the solid design and everything but winds up being forgettable. I do think that does a disservice to the film since there was a lot of potential there. It’s another reason why the film doesn’t have good writing to me. It’s not paced correctly with characters being left out and of course I went over the main reason why I didn’t care for the writing. The film is still good and enjoyable all the way of course but yeah you’re left thinking that this could and should have been even better.

The special effects are definitely solid though. I appreciated all of the effects for the lasers and fights. The alien costumes looked good as well. Everything felt like it was crafted very carefully here. Even the ship felt extra real with the various rooms. It reminded me of the Enterprise from Star Trek. The ship basically being sentient with the A.I. was really the cherry on top there. It wasn’t afraid to take shots at the main guy on several occasions for being too timid and messing up on the controls. The ship was right by the way, this guy would choke under pressure every time he was at the command stations. You definitely don’t want him as your captain because he’ll never fire in time.

Overall, This is a film that is fairly memorable which tends to be a good thing. It may not be a match for the top tier sci-fi films out there but it is still at least trying to do something interesting. We got a lot of world building and a bunch of varied characters. I would like to see another film tackle this premise with better writing and it could really be a smash hit. In the meantime this one still has enough whit and good action scenes to keep it on top all the way. That’s definitely nothing to sneeze at, that’s for sure.

Overall 6/10

Absence of Malice Review

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It’s time for a film about the fine line you walk between what is true and what is speculation. It’s a pretty interesting movie and I had a good time with it but I wasn’t crazy about the ending. I feel like some of the characters really got off very easy considering all of the damage that was done. Not like you want to be super vindictive or anything but they definitely could have done more here. At the very least I can safely say that the main romance really had no reason to be included in the movie and made no sense.

The movie starts off with some guys investigating a mysterious disappearance/possible murder. The news is leaked to reporter Megan by a secretary who was probably fired shortly afterwards. The government shares the building with the newspaper so sometimes these things happen but this is a big story so Megan is told to drop it by this one guy who has a crush on her. So she stomps on his feelings and quickly rushes the report through. The government is investigating Michael Gallagher! Michael isn’t thrilled about this and shows up to the newspaper office but he is given the brush off. It’s all fair use so they can ruin his life with complete immunity. Michael doesn’t think this is fair and is working to find out the source for this story. Meanwhile the governor is getting involved as well and Megan will be on the hot seat if she can’t verify some details.

So there’s a lot going on here. Right off the bat I would say Megan is very irresponsible here for putting out such a hit piece on flimsy information. Here’s the thing, while it’s true that Michael is under investigation, you don’t want to go around publishing that because it immediately puts him in a certain kind of light. People tend to think you’re guilty if you’re under suspicion and that shows how jaded the average person is. It’s regrettable but that’s really just how it is. It’s a rough start but I think she could have recovered a bit by just telling him. Just sell the government out, they would do the same in a heartbeat.

Instead she doubles down and keeps trying to crack him. Michael ends up liking her so he asks her out on a date and the idea is to get to know each other. Maybe she will give him some more information or at least see that he is a decent guy. It’s a thought at least even if it’s not a very realistic one. Megan immediately wants to do more than just hang out because she’s “modern” and all. He initially resists but unfortunately doesn’t do they have their affair and common sense kicks back in as they are still enemies.

All of this is already rough but it gets way worse when Michael’s friend Teresa shows up to try and defend him. She explains to Megan that he has a rock solid alibi and she can prove it but not to use her name or anything. So Megan ignores her and uses the girl’s name, occupation, and tells all the details of what was a super private and controversial affair. It ultimately doesn’t go well for Teresa and the problem here is that Megan knew it wouldn’t end well. Sure, she acts a bit surprised and gets depressed, but the whole thing was nutty. In no possible universe was this going to end well for Teresa. Megan is a reporter and it’s not like this is her first day on the job so I don’t get the confusion here. This is pretty basic stuff.

That to me is where Megan completely crossed the line. I just can’t see how Michael is still friendly with her at the end after this. At least he left but in my mind the bridge was so completely burned that they should not get along at all. It’s really a disgrace to Teresa’s memory. They were good friends and all so it just doesn’t make sense. It’s why the romance should have also been omitted. How can you fall for the person who framed you and hung you out to dry. You could say “It’s her job” but is that really a good excuse? I just want you to really think about that one. Do you actually buy into that in your heart of hearts? Enough to still go through with a romance? No shot!

I was at least glad Michael was smart enough to start launching counter attacks and getting his revenge though. The writing in the film is extremely solid. While I may not like some of the characters, that doesn’t take away from the writing itself. I like this 4 way battle with all of the characters trying to move forward while navigating through their opponents. The governor for example is a pretty fun character as he jumps in to try and take hold of the situation but it’s not so easy. He’s one of the only ones who could get to Elliot though which was a good battle of wits. Elliot doesn’t actually work for the governor since he is directly to the federal government level but they each have some leverage over the other.

Elliot is definitely a fun character with how crafty he can be. The guy definitely holds his own with the other various characters and doesn’t go down easy. He actually tried making a decent case by the end but ultimately wasn’t able to pull it off. He was completely outwitted but the attempt was fair. In general the climax of the film is really good and I dare say it might be the best part of the movie. We finally get the entire cast into the same room to all talk it out. The most underrated character there was Megan’s lawyer but unfortunately she kept cutting him off so he couldn’t save the day. Like him or not, the guy was definitely experienced and probably the only one in the room who could really hang with the grand jury for a while there. When you have so many people with huge egos in the same room, it definitely gets entertaining. Maybe at the heart of things, that’s why I tend to love big meeting scenes and moments like this.

Overall, Absence of Malice is a good film. It doesn’t really have the cathartic pleasure you might expect from the characters getting their just desserts but the film is going for a realistic angle and that kind of thing doesn’t always happen. So it does make sense in that case. It may not be the most satisfying ending but it doesn’t take away from the rest of the movie being a real interesting game of cat and mouse. It definitely does show just how powerful a simple editorial or rumor could be. It may not have the same punch nowadays with so many news sources but back in the day it would definitely be difficult to come back from that. When your career is shot, it’s shot all the way.

Overall 6/10

Curse of the Demon Review

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It’s time for a really old creature feature film. This one deals with an actual demon so you already know that the heroes are going to be in a real pinch here. How do you stop a creature that is basically invincible and moves with such speed? The main character doesn’t even believe in demons but his scientific approach is certainly about to be tested.

The movie starts off with a guy begging Karswell to remove the curse before he gets murdered. The guy will leave Karswell alone going forward but alas it is too late for that and so a powerful demon bumps him off. The poor guy never stood a chance. Karswell isn’t done yet though and he is going to continue inflicting damage onto people. We then cut to our main character John. He doesn’t believe in any of his supernatural nonsense and that’s why he is here. He is supposed to be helping to disprove all of this but with one of his colleagues being bumped off, it’s all a bit suspicious. He supposes the best way to debunk all of this is to confront the guy himself and so that’s exactly what he does. It may end up being a dangerous endeavor.

The weakest part of the film is definitely the really long seance scene hat happens later on in the film. I suppose we needed John to see how crazy this kind of thing could look but it definitely dragged on. Seance scenes rarely ever end up being all that interesting and this one was no exception. The whole time you’re just shaking your head but at least it does give John more time to think that maybe there is nothing supernatural going on since that would help me think everything was a scam too.

Karswell’s first attempt to prove his supernatural abilities wasn’t the most effective either. He made a bunch of wind and while the guy claimed that it never got super windy like that in the area, John could easily just think he was lying. Once we get to the cats turning into panthers, then it all starts to be a little harder to deny. I would have actually liked this part to have been done a bit quicker so we could get to the real intellectual struggles here.

What I mean by this is it turns out that the demon activates in relation to a parchment paper that is passed around. Karswell makes sure to give it to people and whoever gets it, will be murdered by the demon in 3 days. The only way to escape the curse is to give the paper back to the person who gave it to you. At that point you are freed from the curse. It’s a pretty interesting set of rules and of course what this means is the one who cursed you is hyper aware of this. It’s going to be difficult to hand the paper back. Although unless the film specified against this, I would assume just beating the guy up and stuffing the paper into his hand would work. This is a matter of life or death after all so I don’t think a little violence would be outside the realm of possibility right? It’s at least something to consider.

Still, we don’t go the violence route here so instead it’s time for some mind games to trick Karswell. This is all at the very end of the film but was a pretty fun way to end things off. The trick itself was definitely clever so I could believe Karswell being taken in by all of that. John was also a fun main character with how he so strongly opposed the supernatural stuff. I definitely appreciate that in a character. Sure, we know that the magic is real as a viewer but to someone who’s led a life of science, I’m glad he wasn’t converted so easily.

The main heroine Joanna doesn’t get a ton to do though. She helps with some of the info dumps and getting John where he needs to be but inevitably she is hypnotized and kidnapped. Considering that she had more of an affinity for the supernatural it would have been good if she could have had some extra defenses. Something to help keep her safe and running away from this guy. In a way that was definitely Karswell’s undoing though. He shouldn’t have gotten greedy and gone after Joanna. Even if he felt like his victory was inevitable he should have stayed hidden until the days were fully up. Make it very hard for himself to be found by John because there’s nothing good that can come out of meeting the guy. People get awfully desperate when they are about to die after all and you can’t predict what the next move will be.

I’ll give the film a shoutout for the cool demon design. He definitely looked fierce and was one of those opponents you would no want to bump into in a dark alley. A single strike from this fighter would really deal a whole lot of damage. Nobody in the film really tried fighting the demon which is too bad. Sure, it would probably be futile but you’re about to die anyway so you may as well give it a shot right? Better than just lying there and yelling the whole time.

Overall, This film shows why you have to be careful accepting anything from strangers. Sure, it’s pretty unlikely that you will be handed an actual curse with a demon built in but you could still be framed for stolen money or something like that. Odds are if someone is trying to hand you something outside then they have an angle. It could be as innocent as handing out flyers for an event in which case you’re fine…or it could be handing you a bomb and you end up being blown to pieces. So just watch out for your surroundings and be careful at all times. Like in this film, your only shot would be handing it back to the person real quick before anything happens.

Overall 6/10

Escape Plan 2: Hades Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

All right it’s time for the next big thriller adventure with Ray and his security setup. I thought the first film was definitely a bit iffy on the premise of Ray getting captured so this one makes a lot more sense in that regard. The story actually thinks of a good reason to get Ray in there. For the most part it’s really just a redo of the first film in a lot of ways. The lower budget does allow them to make the prison a bit more sci-fi this time though which is nice.

The main character here is really Shu this time. He works for Ray and is really good at his job. He doesn’t get fired like another guy who messed up by trusting his computers too much. Unfortunately Shu gets roped into some family drama and is attacked by a bunch of thugs which leads him to being trapped inside of Hades. Hades is one of the most secure prisons of all time and appears to be run by the same villains as in the first film. This naturally puts Ray in a very dicey spot because now he has to find a way to get in there and save Shu. The only way…might be to let himself get captured. Never my favorite plan but if you have to do it, at least this is a slightly more reasonable approach.

That said, I still don’t like the plan for a variety of reasons. The biggest one is that the most likely outcome of this is that Ray will be murdered. When you enter a space like this that is run by villains who all want to murder Ray, there is no other real outcome here. He is going to be absolutely dominated right out of the gate. The whole film’s premise really only sticks if the villains keep Ray alive out of their misplaced pride in how he can never escape. This naturally never works but in a more realistic film, they would just murder him as soon as he’s in there. Especially since one of his workers is already there so they may team up.

Still, Ray handles himself as well as possible. He’s already looking a bit older in this one (Although not nearly as old as in the third film) but he can still fight when needed. He gets a quick action scene with his partner DeRosa early on which was really solid. DeRosa is a new character here who really comes in handy. He’s been in the game for a very long time and has evidently helped Ray in the past. He’s another tough guy who beats up everyone in his way. These films have no shortages of these kinds of characters. He’s not quite up to par with the guy from the first film but he will suffice. I always enjoyed seeing the meanwhile scenes away from the jail with DeRosa doing his thing.

As for Shu though, he’s a solid main character. He puts up with a lot of torture and beatings at the jail in order to find his way out but also to help his cousin. Shu is a strong fighter and does well in the prison’s underground tournament bracket. If the fights were the only thing he would have to deal with then I think he would have gotten out just fine. Of course, you can’t expect anything to be all that fair down here. The warden certainly doesn’t appreciate this guy and Shu has a massive target on his back since his cousin was already the main person in harm’s way before. Even just helping him doesn’t do wonders for Shu’s social cred.

Again you do have to suspend some disbelief throughout the film for how the heroes learn about the exits and such. They memorize guard walking patterns, steal objects, etc. It all relies on their making some friends here and all of the guards being inept enough not to notice them taking things. I also question how exact the patterns would really be for any company. What about people cutting out early to smoke, staying a bit late, walking a different route, etc. The fact that everyone does things the same way all the time is super unrealistic to me because I feel like that basically never happens in any job. Whether it be public or private, people tend to have a lot of variance in what they do.

You could say that the jail warden just made sure people would stick to the script every time but that would make him not look so good. If anything a jail is the exact place where you would want extra variance the whole time. You want to throw the opponent off your trail and everything. So I’m skeptical but I always am for films like this one. The important thing is that you’re kept entertained though and the film did pull that off. So it’s still positive overall.

I take some points away for the general grit and violence of the film though. It’s nothing terrible or anything like that but still enough to be noticeable. it’s pretty much inevitable for any of these films where the heroes are stuck in a prison because the whole point is to show off how cruel and tough the warden is. It’s harder to show that without adding a bunch of scenes where the warden is dominating right?

Overall, Escape Plan 2 is a decent movie. I won’t call it great or anything though. It definitely does feel like it’s just copying the first film to a large extent. I really enjoyed the martial art fight scenes but the general atmosphere of the jail wasn’t great. Naturally the characters are getting beaten up and effectively tortured the whole time without any real way out. It’s definitely a real dark place to be in and the more you think about it, the rougher it would get. If you’re looking for a random action film to pass some of the time by though, you can’t really go wrong with this one.

Overall 6/10

White Men Can’t Jump Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for an old school comedy about what it takes to scam someone. It’s a pretty fun movie even if the characters aren’t always very likable though. As the main characters are scammers that does make sense though. The basketball battles are all pretty fun and there’s enough of them where you could call this a sports title as well.

The film starts off with Sydney hooping with his pals when a guy named Billy shows up. Billy looks like he’s probably no good as basketball so Sydney allows himself to be goaded into a 1 on 1 battle. He gets defeated though and Billy walks away with all the money. Sydney’s upset at first but then figures he can use this to make a lot of money as well. Sydney knows the basketball scene well after all so he can keep on challenging folks to 2 on 2 battles with Billy and rack up a ton of money. Can they really keep this going or will they eventually fall short?

Naturally hustling isn’t something you can really respect or admire though. I know Billy is desperate but surely there are more legitimate ways to handle this. He and his girlfriend Gloria are on the run from the debt collectors as well now and it’s all become a really big deal. This whole thing certainly hasn’t put him in the greatest position, that’s for sure. When he inevitably gets double crossed, you can’t feel super bad for him either. The guy also takes way too many risks. Risking Gloria’s money for his own pride about the slam dunk was really a bad move as well. I’m glad that Gloria stuck to her guns and ditched him there because she warned him ahead of time and he still went through with it.

That said, I wouldn’t say Gloria was a very solid heroine either. She definitely complained a whole lot while he was trying to earn some money. She could have been doing something as well instead of training for Jeopardy the whole time. The odds of being called in for the show and then of winning are so slim that it’s like playing the lotto. That’s not a very constructive way to plan for the future. She’s all over the place and has a gun at the ready but folds when the chips are down. It would have been nice if she was more supportive.

On the other side, Sydney is a fun character who delivers most of the humor in the film. He’s got a quick wit and is always one step ahead of the other characters. He’s a lot of fun and the film definitely would not be the same without him. I did think that his betraying Billy later on was rather out of pocket though. I know he wanted revenge but at that point it would seem like they were never really friends. In the film they sort everything out and team up again but I couldn’t really buy into it. No way you forgive someone when they ripped you off for more than $1000 like that. Especially when it’s money that you really needed at the time.

I don’t blame him for the slam dunk challenge though because that was completely on Billy. He did not need to try to take on that challenge and Sydney warned him against it several times. At that point, it’s all on Billy for going through with it and a bet is a bet. You have to honor it at that point. Sydney’s girlfriend Rhonda is definitely a lot more loyal to him than Gloria was to Billy. She backs him all the way without fail so that’s a pretty good dynamic right there.

As I mentioned before, the Basketball scenes are definitely pretty good. They’re fast paced and definitely deliver on the action. You may not like the two leads all that much for being scam artists but at least they are really good on the court and can hold their own. It’s why you feel like they shouldn’t need to resort to this. Just try to get serious about Basketball and win the right way. Of course if they don’t think they have the skills, they’ll get exposed real fast. Such is the risk you face whenever you enter a high level of competition though.

The script goes pretty hard on the banter so there will be a lot of laughs but it can also be a bit much/edgy at times. That’s always the risk you run with a film like this though. I would say that it ultimately succeeds a lot more than not though so that’s a good thing. I would have maybe added some kind of a main villain to spice things up though. For the most part there isn’t a central antagonist and it’s more about the characters trying to get along. The Jeopardy subplot could also be removed in its entirety. It just doesn’t have much to do with anything and you could just redo Gloria’s character. It’s a unique subplot to be sure since you’re definitely not expecting this in a Basketball film. It’s just such a long shot though, it almost would have been better if the plot didn’t go anywhere and Billy talks about what a waste of time it was.

Overall, This was a pretty fun film. We got some danger with the debt collectors but for the most part this is a light hearted film about a lot of banter. The main romance isn’t very good but the film actually addresses that directly which was nice. The writing wasn’t always super strong and the main characters could be better but I had a good time with it and in the end that’s what counts. Basketball’s definitely a fun sport to watch with how fast paced it is.

Overall 6/10

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Review

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It’s time for a sci-fi film that isn’t afraid to get rather crazy. It starts off with a really crazy dolphin song and that sets the tone for what’s to come. That’s a good thing though because Sci-Fi shouldn’t be afraid to go all out. It’s one of the things that can make the genre really fun and all. That said, I wouldn’t say this one always succeeds in the humor and everything so it can be a bit hit or miss.

The film starts off with Arthur protesting the demolition of his house. His friend Ford shows up though and explains that it doesn’t matter because the Earth is going to blow up. He’s an alien too after all. He helps Arthur escape into space where they’re tortured, meet different clans, and now have to…try and save the universe? Can that be right? What can some random Earthling do? Time to find out!

Arthur’s definitely not the best character though. He’s a little too desperate and slow on the uptake. Considering that he met an alien early on and is then told a crazy story you’d think he would be ready. Instead he is still worried about his car for a while even when the planet is about to be destroyed. Also, his almost girlfriend Tricia dumps him for an alien but he hasn’t been able to fully get past his feelings?

He only knew her for 5 minutes with a drink and she was already talking about travelling across the globe. It’s clear that she wasn’t serious about him so he should have just moved on quick too. Meeting someone while you’re both drunk at a party is definitely not going to put you in a good position for success in a romance if we’re being honest here.

It doesn’t even feel like Tricia likes Zaphod all that much and is really in it for the space travel. She always liked travelling on Earth after all and in space you’ve got billions of times more space here. I wouldn’t say the whole thing reflects great on her either but hey she’s following her dream and not just floating through everything the way Arthur is.

Zaphod is fun though, he has a good time with the whole plot. I do like how he is wearing a suit that looks like him and just keeps on popping up. That’s a great example of a gimmick that stays funny throughout the movie. Yeah he has his serious moments by the end and all but he’s at his best when he’s just messing around the whole time.

Marvin is a depressed robot who is with the crew the whole time but his gimmick gets old a little fast. There’s not a whole lot you can do with that gimmick after a while. He gets to help out and does his best but ehhhhhhh, you don’t really need him. It does give us a chance to see a character who is even sadder than Arthur though.

He’s a good example of the film itself though which starts out a lot stronger than it finishes. Because he does have a good array of fun lines at first where that jaded spirit of his really works well. Ford was a better side character in the end. He was really helpful the whole time and without him the characters would have been doomed.

One of the main plots that comes up later on is about the ultimate question and ultimate answer. So in one of the film’s crazy exposition moments it turns out that the universe finally found out the ultimate answer to life itself thanks to a super computer. The problem is that it was just a number, 42. They now need another computer to answer that but there’s a whole lot of time that you need for this and only one computer can handle this.

It’s a pretty solid subversion since usually the whole film would be about finding the answer to life but instead we are given that from the start. I also like the idea of the answer itself being ultimately pointless. Cmon that’s gotta get a smile out of you at least. The journey is like the answer though, the question itself is not all that important. It’s just the plot device to get the characters onto a bunch of planets and to meet lots of different aliens.

In some ways it feels a lot like Stat Trek. It’s more about the exploration than big battles or anything like that. Throw in some dry humor that tends to work well for this type of story and the film does have a solid approach. When it comes time for the more serious plots though…not as solid. I already talked a bit about the romance but it’s really sub par here. Arthur’s just too desperate and even if Tricia was just hanging out with this guy to an extent, it sure seemed like they were in a real relationship. The guy would smack her on the backside and everything so yeah Arthur needed to have the willpower to walk away. It makes the ending more on the underwhelming side. There’s also a quick rushed romance for Zaphod that just comes out of the blue.

That’s not the kind of thing that would really hurt the film’s score or anything but yeah that could have been handled better. The movie does have really good special effects once action is happening though. The laser guns look good, Marvin’s robot design is super good as well. It looks really lifelike and you’ve also got the change gun that transforms items seamlessly. The dolphin song may have been rather bad but I choose to believe that was intentional as a gag so hey it is what it is.

Overall, I’d say this was a good film. I think the humor works more than it doesn’t. What keeps it from being higher is something that generally tends to happen to some comedic films. The second half starts to drag on a little bit, the film overstays its welcome and could have shaved off like 20 minutes or so. They did get to reach a lot of planets as a result so I get why they wanted the film to be long, but it just lost a bit of steam at times. A film like this can only last as long as the novelty factor and after a while the craziness of everything doesn’t really phase you. I would still recommend checking this out if you like sci-fi and comedic/parody type films. This one has a lot of fun poking fun at everything which makes the humor really accessible I’d say. Everyone should find at least some of the gags funny I’d expect.

Overall 6/10

Cleaner Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Cleaner is one of those films that definitely has a unique premise. You’re not usually watching a film about the clean-up crew after murders. Usually you follow the hero or have to stop the murderer but the cleaner himself? Not really so that made for an interesting change of pace.

The story follows a cleaner named Tom. He’s known as the best in the business. He has his own unique set of cleaning materials and formulas which can make the crime scene perfect right away. He employs others who really need a job like his employee Miguel who is doing his best but sometimes the stress gets to him. Well, one day Tom cleans up a place after a murder as normal and heads home, but the next day when he’s dropping off a key, the lady of the house, Ann does not recognize him or know that a cleaning took place. It would appear that the murder isn’t even public knowledge yet. Tom has possibly been set up here and he needs to find the truth right away!

The main mystery plot is pretty solid but the subplots and drama around that are not so good. First up, you have his daughter Rose who wants to learn more about her mother. Tom’s wife was murdered many years back and he’s still holding a lot of trauma over it so he refuses to tell her anything. It just feels like very forced drama here. They get it right by the end but it just takes too long. I don’t think this plot really needed to be in the film.

Since this is a mystery you do have to have suspects of course. That said, there aren’t a lot of options here and I think in a way that’s because the film is fairly short. The first suspect will be Ann. Mainly the reason she would be a suspect is for the plot twist and shock value of it because otherwise it wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense. Still, you have to consider everyone and she is pressing Tom really hard about what happened. Is she worried about her husband’s disappearance or is she trying to get Tom to admit he was at the scene of the crime and get him taken down?

Suspect number 2 is good ole Eddie. He’s Tom’s friend from a long time ago. The guy has made detective now and is still involved in cases occasionally although he doesn’t get along with the main police homicide unit. This guy’s super helpful all the time and always there to support Tom so of course that is something that puts him on the suspect list. When someone’s too nice you just can’t trust them like that.

Finally you have Vargas. That guy doesn’t really trust anybody and is a rather aggressive person so he tends to put people on edge. He seems to be ready to snap at any moment so naturally this guy appears to be a suspect, but is it all too obvious? That’s always the question you have to ask yourself about this. I will say he is one of the more enjoyable characters to have around though. I always like when a character just rushes in to cause damage and do his job. He’s not trying to make friends, he’s just here to complete his mission.

There is also a big criminal conspiracy going on led by a guy named Vaughn. This ties into Tom’s backstory. The guy has paid off tons of people and seems to own the city from the shadows. It’s certainly possible that they are doing something to mess with Tom here. Or perhaps nothing here concerns Tom at all and the husband really was the target. There’s no guarantee that Tom is even a target in this at all. He may have just been a useful pawn.

Now as the film deals with cleaning up a crime scene there are definitely lots of shots of blood and remains throughout the film. I wouldn’t say it’s too brutal or anything but there are quite a lot of scenes of this so definitely something to keep in mind. It’s not all that violent in terms of active moments but the crime scenes are intense and of course you have to have the obligatory origin story for Tom.

The ending does make you feel bad for the daughter though because you know there’s going to be some extra trauma for her now. And she was already dealing with quite a bit of that. The final fight in general is definitely not super impressive though so I should say if you’re watching this for the fights…it’s not the best idea. The film does have some good music and makes things sound epic but there are no fights here. You get a slow motion shove which I thought was funny but for the most part this is mystery and drama first.

Overall, Cleaner is a reasonably solid mystery thriller. I was engaged with gathering the clues and seeing how it would all pan out. There are definitely a lot of twists and turns as the film goes on. Not a whole lot of innocent characters by the end of this since everyone gets bogged down by past crimes, corruption, or what’s going on currently. I have a feeling most people haven’t even heard of this film so definitely a fun little title if you’re looking for something new. It’s just not going to stick out in your memory by the end because there are many better thrillers out there.

Overall 6/10

The Evil Eye Review

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The Evil Eye is one of those films that is going for the title for style points as opposed to it being really tied to the narrative. It’s a pretty interesting noir title and one that isn’t afraid to get rather absurd at some points as well. The strangeness of the whole film is part of the appeal and it works pretty well. I wouldn’t call it one of the strongest titles in the genre but I had a good time.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Nora who has arrived in Italy to take care of her aunt. Unfortunately her aunt dies almost immediately but not before Nora gets to meet Doctor Marcello and flirt with him a bit. Nora heads outside to let the doctor know about her aunt but ends up getting robbed and knocked out during the fight. When Nora wakes up she sees someone getting murdered and quickly faints again. By the time she wakes up the cops think that she fainted due to having too much to drink. For some reason she smells strongly of alcohol. Marcello frees Nora but doesn’t seem to totally believe her. There is only one possible explanation…Nora is a psychic who can see murders from 10 years in the past! Will she be able to stay alive in the present?

There’s a whole conspiracy going on with the alphabet killer who hasn’t murdered anyone in 10 years and yet Nora might be the next target. While Nora is in a packed area, people tend to vanish when she needs them the most and she is also a bit of a mystery. She flirts with Marcello a whole lot but at the same time doesn’t seem to want to progress their relationship and usually just leaves him frustrated at the door while she goes off to take a nap. The whole romance ends up being rather weak as a result. It leads to Marcello deciding to make his bold move and press the point which could have easily led him straight to jail if Nora wasn’t so accommodating.

I always think that’s going rather far. If Nora doesn’t want to do anything then they have to talk about it, you don’t just make the big move and hope for the best. That’s not how these thing go. Marcello also just seems a bit annoying in general. How are you going to go after the niece of the lady you were watching over on her death bed just like that? You’d figure there would at least be a long mourning period first or something like that. There’s also no real time for this when a murderer is on the loose.

I do tend to enjoy all of the random fake outs and jump scares here though. It feels like people are always sneaking up on Nora. Then you have random flirts running after her and you always know if this person is a fake or not based on how Nora reacts. If she is super scared and backing up then it’s the real deal but if she charges forward and knocks him out then it’s a fake. It almost feels rigged because every time she musters up the courage to do something, it ends up being for nothing.

Nora can also be a bit oblivious at times like with the one guy who is really handsy with her at the diner. Marcello’s also too timid and just plays passive aggressive the whole time instead of telling the guy to knock it off. You have to have the dignity to tell these people off and I also have to give Nora a hard time about this. The whole scene just makes you roll your eyes there.

As for the climax, it’s a bit more low key than I would have thought. I don’t know exactly what I was expecting but I suppose more of a big fight or some kind of fakeout with how odd the rest of the film could be. Instead it’s played rather straight with a twist thrown in there. I do think it would be reasonably difficult to guess who the culprit is though so the film did good there. The cast is small but at the same time the movie still covers its tracks pretty well.

I think the best out of the random segments is when the main heroine wakes up in the hospital and everyone is talking over her as if she is some kind of medical experiment. It’s playing out in such a way where you figure she is dreaming but then the main doctor walks in so she calls for him. Suddenly they’re out on a date in the very next instant so we know that this actually happened. There are a few moments like this where you figure it has to be a dream and instead what happens is this actually played out exactly how it looked. It certainly takes you for a loop but in a fun way.

The film’s music even gets randomly happy at times. Nora will be spooked and someone will have just died and suddenly we have happy music playing in the background. Or she’s getting close to a clue and suddenly she’s at the beach having fun. This film actively avoids using transitions which is why the changes are so sudden. It works well though and shows that the film has a whole lot of range at its disposal and isn’t afraid to switch things up.

Overall, The Evil Eye’s random moments help to give it a bit of an edge in terms of how well you will remember it. At the same time, it feels like this is also done in part because the movie knows that the mystery itself won’t be enough to have this film make it into the big leagues. I’d recommend checking it out but it’s probably not a movie that you will need to check out a second time. One adventure here will be enough.

Overall 6/10

Acts of Vengeance Review

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This is a review of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

All right it’s time for one of those classic thriller stories. This one goes through the motions and is a good film but I wouldn’t say it stands out a lot compared to the competition. It doesn’t have the same level of iconic lines as Taken for example although at the same time…there is a plot reason for this. The ending may not have left me completely satisfied but you will get some good action scenes here.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Frank whose job is to talk a lot. He is the defense attorney for a lot of crazy criminals and he’s really good at his job so he tends to get them off the hook even when they’re guilty. Hey, you can’t blame him, blame the system right? Well that’s easier said than done. One day his wife and kid are murdered and the cops admit that there isn’t much that they can do. There aren’t enough leads and people are getting murdered all the time around there so what are you gonna do? Frank lets people beat him up for a while before finally deciding to take action. He will become a martial arts master and track down the killer. Until he pulls this off, he will never say another word.

The vow of silence is definitely a solid way to show your determination. It does mean that Frank will stop at nothing in order to finish his quest but it can also work as something that holds him back when you think about it. After all, this means that he can’t really question any of the villains or anything like that. He has to rely on their facial expressions and what they start saying. Frank’s physical senses do begin to improve a lot which does help him out here though. It’s also good that his fighting skills worked out well since there are a lot of villains to stop and Fran tends to let them all go.

He plays a very risky game and you could argue that he has to have a lot of plot armor to make it through the trials here. For example, he lets quite a few mafia members leave with their lives but none of them manage to track him down and get the jump on him in time. In real life it feels like crossing the mafia in such an open way would really be a death sentence. Even by the end Frank opts to let the justice system do its thing but there’s no reason to believe he will be alive after the next 48 hours. He’s made too many enemies and not finishing them off puts him in a dicey spot.

I get that the film wanted to go for a positive moral where you know that this guy hasn’t crossed the line but within the film’s context I don’t think that it works out so well. Sometimes when you spare someone like this, all you are doing is dooming other people. Not saying it has to be like that of course but it is definitely one of the big possible outcomes. Then we have the main heroine Alma who is nice enough. She’s perhaps a bit too trusting since she warms up to Frank right away even though the guy should appear to be incredibly suspicious. Their first meeting is him already being rather beat up and having a gun so my first guess wouldn’t necessarily be that he is an upstanding citizen.

There’s a dog in the movie that helps Frank out a lot so that was pretty fun. His skills are definitely really helpful in solving the case. As for the main villain, there’s not a whole lot to say about him. His attempt at sympathy doesn’t work at all. Yes the guy has a tragic backstory but it does nothing to support his actions in the present. If anything you’d think it makes the whole thing worse. This guy should definitely not be trying to go after a child the way that he did. So yeah the villain’s just one of those crazies and he doesn’t do anything to actively elevate the film to the next level. You could switch him out with just about anyone and it doesn’t matter.

Part of the film is effectively a mystery as to who got Frank’s family and it’s sort of a tricky one. On one hand, the cast is extremely small here. So if the killer is a named character then you basically only have 2 real options but if the killer is some random mobster then you may not be as invested. The good news of course is that you don’t know either way until it happens so in that sense it still works well as a mystery that keeps you guessing. The film’s definitely at its best when focusing on the action though. The fight scenes are really solid.

Overall, Acts of Vengeance is a good movie. I liked the way it would use chapters to break up the story and how the quotes would also describe the chapter. Having so much inner monologue may feel like a bit of a cheat to the fact that the main character doesn’t talk much but still I appreciated it since I tend to like dialogue. The more words that are spoken the better, that’s what I’d say here. If you enjoy a good revenge story then you should watch the movie. If it’s not your genre then there’s not much else for the movie to offer you. It’s very straight forward in that way so the ball is really in your court here.

Overall 6/10

Fever Pitch Review

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All right it’s time for one of those classic rom-com films. It’s definitely got a retro feel to it because at this point the early 200s are actually rather old. It feels rough saying that but it is what it is. The film has some fun moments, there’s always a lot going on here and I do like that it keeps up the energy well. As always with these films, it’s at its best when the film is focusing on the humor rather than the romance. Still the film does keep the main characters more in check than other titles so it’s not like they ever hate each other which is good. That’s usually what makes the romance more on the unrealistic side.

The film starts off by introducing Ben as a super big Red Sox fan. He has really built his entire life around them. Well, one day when he is leading a school tour as the teacher, he meets a lady named Lindsey who is really smart and good with numbers. The kids tease Ben about her and so he decides to actually make a move and asks her out. This basically flies in the face of most titles like this so I have to give him some serious props here. The guy actually has a lot of guts. The two of them start going out but there is one big problem here. They both have very different priorities. Ben still wants to follow the Red Sox across the country and never miss a game while Lindsey is trying hard for a promotion so the two don’t have much time for each other. Can this really work?

Lets start off with the film’s stronger aspects here which are the characters. Both Ben and Lindsey have fairly successful lives going on right now. Neither one of them are creeps or just hopeless in life. They actually feel like real people who have made choices and everything. Lindsey has more corporate success but can be rather lonely. She does have some friends but it’s clear that Ben has the better support network. He may not be doing as well but he still has enough money to go to training camp with his friends and they’re always having a blast. So the romance is adding something extra for both of them but it’s not like their lives revolve around this.

It also makes the drama a bit more realistic since neither person wants to sacrifice parts of their life too easily. So Lindsey brings her laptop to the games and Ben picks the games over dates. Now I would put more of the burden on Ben here though. Lindsey is fighting for an active promotion right now so of course she has to give it her best effort. I absolutely get why she needs to be putting in overtime and everything. For Ben, hey I get that he likes Baseball a lot but he does need to make some concessions here. Baseball has over 100 games, if he’s going to watch them all then he’s not going to be available for her much at all.

He can barely go a day without the games. At one point he decides to skip one to make her feel better so they have a good date and everything but despite saying what a great day it was, he completely flips on this when his friends let him know that he missed the best game ever. He pretty much guilt trips Lindsey at this point when it’s not like it was her fault or anything like that. In this film naturally both characters will be at fault a lot of the time but I would say it was usually Ben’s fault in the end.

Ben’s friends are also solid in general. They actually do give good advice from time to time and their scenes can be funny. At one point for example Ben has them all dancing as a way to compete for who gets to see which game now that he has the season tickets. It gets rather competitive and it’s nice for a change to see the guys hanging out without the topic quickly being about which girl they like or things like that. They’re actually good friends that just have a good time hanging out so that was fun.

Unfortunately the film’s climax doesn’t feel very satisfying on Lindsey’s end. She ends up having to make way more sacrifices and I would have liked a more positive ending there. A lot of times the films like this act as if only one side can win but we could have had a scenario where she gets the promotion, Ben still has the tickets, and they just put in some boundaries/guard rails to keep things from being crazy. That would have been way more reasonable and a better ending. The ending itself could have definitely been worse but it’s just not nearly as good as it could or should have been.

As with any comedy film, I’m not saying that all of the jokes will land but on average you will like more of them than you don’t. The writing is good as well and at least tries to give you some reasons why the two characters would go out. For starters Ben asking her out at the start was a big move since he was more proactive than the average guy. He can still be rather immature at times but since Lindsey is always super serious, you could see her going with him to get back in touch with her inner child. There is actually a lot of time that passes by in the movie as we follow the whole Red Sox season so it also avoids my usual complaints about the romance being really rushed and unrealistic. A lot more care and detail went into this film compared to the usual experience and of course having the sports element in there was also a nice way to add a little boost for me since that’s always fun.

Overall, Fever Pitch is a good movie. It manages to avoid making the drama be too forced and doesn’t go as extreme as other comedy films go. You get the usual formula of the main two getting together, falling apart, and then getting back together but it’s done in a way that actually feels realistic. So by avoiding the usual pitfalls the movie ended up being more effective. The pacing is good and the humor tends to land so I had a good time here. It’s not exactly the kind of movie I would be clamoring to see again or anything like that but if you’re looking for a fairly wholesome romance movie then this is a good one to watch.

Overall 6/10