Minority Report Review

Posted on September 2, 2014 by dreager1

My expectations for Minority Report were a little higher than they were for the average film. After all, the video game was excellent with the story (almost) holding its own against the gameplay. The fact that Tom Cruise is the lead is also intriguing since he was so popular back in the day and the concept was great. I also saw a clip of it a while back and it was pretty cool how stores could find out what you wanted through an eye scan as you walked in the store. This was a film with a lot of potential, but my hopes crashed into the ground once the film actually started. This is definitely not a title that I would recommend!

The film starts out by introducing us to this new world. Pre Crime has officers who are able to go travel around and stop crimes before they actually occur. At first, I thought that they were time travelling, which would have created a lot of plot questions, but they just go to the location of the crime and stop it from being committed. This is possible through the three pre cogs that exist at their main headquarters. They can predict a murder a day before it happens or sometimes only a few hours in advance. John Anderton is the main person in charge of finding out where the murder is taking place by analyzing the visions that the pre cogs have. It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it! One day, the pre cogs announce that John will murder someone so now he must run for his life and prove that he is innocent! Of course, we have to wonder…is he innocent?

I guess I should start out with the beginning. We get a random bunch of scenes with people being murdered and everything is gritty and chaotic. We eventually see that this is to show how gruesome murder is and how John is around to prevent it. Then we see the scene like 5-8 more times as John tries to figure out where the murder is. Let’s not forget that we see a lady drowning about a dozen or so times as well. Murder is a main theme of the film so it’s to be expected that we’ll see a lot of it, but we don’t need to keep seeing it over and over again. Telling us what John is about to do would have a similar effect. It’s also just not a very good way to start a film. You need a beginning that makes you want to watch the film, not one that chases you away!

Also, this film takes place in the future and there’s a lot that they can do with that. Unfortunately, they never delve into any of the interesting parts. I like to see how films imagine the future to be because they can be close to the truth in some instances and far removed in others. I can see eye scans delivering personal advertisements in the far future and likewise with hover cars. (Although I doubt they’ll be building any vertical roads in the near or far future) We only get glimpses of these things and they were all more interesting than the main plot.

Why? The actual plot is a pretty sound one and it’s like a thriller with a bit of mystery in it. What stops the film from being enjoyable is the unnecessary grotesqueness in several scenes. We have a guy who’s eyeball is missing and it’s really hard to look at him. Now, in real life it’s just sad to see that happen to someone, but in a film…do we need to see this? I don’t think so since it’s just there for shock value. Another set of scenes would be the eyeball transaction. Ugh..

This was easily one of the worst collection of scenes in the film. John decides that he needs new eye balls so he goes to an illegal surgeon. This surgeon isn’t very hygenienic by the way and he used to be a bigger criminal. He’s still illegal, but this is a more subtle practice. He reminds John of this once John is paralyzed and it’s easy to expect the worst. Even without the worst happening, the whole scene is very gross and we even see John’s old eyes in a plastic bag. Just thinking about it makes me wince.

No, it doesn’t stop there! After the long transfer, John goes to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich. He ends up biting a chunk out of a mold sandwich and then he downs it with a green colored milk. Now they’re just adding insult to injury aren’t they? That was pretty gross and it certainly didn’t help the film. The Doctor’s assistant is also pretty bad and she adds nothing to the story except to make you feel bad for John.

Your suspense for disbelief will also need to be decently high to accept the fact that the Government allows Pre Crime to have so much power. Their spider bots can go into your house without a warrant to scan your eyes. I really don’t think that will be happening anytime soon. These spider bots are also not as advanced as they should be since jumping into a pool is enough to fool their heat sensors. Is that really all it takes to evade these guys? My dog Sonic would be able to sniff out the villains faster than the bots! All right, I’ve covered most of the bases for the film. Now, let’s talk about the characters.

John Anderton is the main character of the story and he certainly has a lot more drama than the average lead. After a traumatic event caused him to lose his son, John split up with his wife and became addicted to the “clear” whistle. It’s basically a drug and it’s a pretty low time for John. He works at Pre Crime to prevent murder from ever happening again. It’s definitely a move that makes sense in response to this and I don’t mind that he’s still broken up about what happened. It’s been years, but you never forget something like that. Turning to drugs is definitely going too far though since he can vent his frustration through other means.

John has his big choice during the climax of the film. Do the legal thing and bring the villain to justice or take out the gun and fire. Ethically, we all know what he should do, but it’s still a hard choice to make in person. I won’t disagree with John’s choice, but I don’t really like how he went about it. Letting the man grab the gun at one point is really not cool and it shows that John should have kept his guard up a little more. John’s a pretty good fighter and he takes on many officers from Pre Crime. The fight scenes were pretty fun even though there weren’t many of them and I would have liked to have seen more of the shockwave gun in action. John is a pretty good character overall. He made some pretty big mistakes, but he’s pretty heroic throughout. I would have liked him more though if he had skipped the drugs and also tried to help the pre cogs sooner.

Lamar is an old man who proudly helped to establish Pre Crime. He’s always wanted a chance to end murder once and for all and this was his ticket. Now he is finally preparing to retire and leave the organization to John. Then the big frame up happens and things quickly start to change. Lamar may seem like a nice old man, but I definitely don’t care for him. He doesn’t really possess any of the traits that make a character likable for me, while possessing a few that make it natural for me to dislike him. The character did well inside of his role and it was a necessary one, but I still don’t care for him. Essentially, he was a good addition to the film, but I don’t really sympathize with his plight.

Agatha is the main pre cog from the three members and she’s the only one who is shown to be able to talk with the others. (Not that the other two were really in a state to do that) She doesn’t talk all that often, but she definitely helps John out a lot when he is in a pinch. Her fate isn’t very great at the beginning since the Pre Cogs are basically forced to watch the future and alert the people to who will be murdered next. Their minds are always connected to the network so they don’t have much of a choice about anything. It’s a pretty rough way to live and Agatha finally gets her chance for freedom later on. Of course, if the cops catch her and Anderton…it’s all over. She didn’t really have a chance to become a very likable character since she doesn’t really get to adjust to the modern world. She seems like she’s a good person and that’ll have to do.

Danny is the cop who’s trying to find John during the film. He’s pretty tough and he never backs down from a fight. I typically like the type of character that he is since he is always serious about his job. Danny is going to do whatever it takes to bring John in and he never doubts his cause. I will admit that his reaction times are rather slow though and he didn’t have the greatest ending to his character arc. Luckily, he did get a solid fight scene in the film so we know that he really isn’t all talk. I dare say that he was a more likable character than the main lead although it can be debatable. Perhaps he put too much trust in the magical ball that foretold the future though…

Lara is John’s ex wife and she plays a large role towards the end of the film. I was surprised by it since it appeared like her role would be small at best. She turns out to be pretty good by the end although she certainly made her share of mistakes during the film. Given the circumstances, Lara ends up being one of the better characters in the film. I would have preferred if she could have landed a solid blow on one of the villains at some point, but it wasn’t to be.

It’s also disappointing to see the fact that the Pre Cogs are just left in the pool for eternity to help Pre Crime out. Doesn’t anyone see something wrong with this system? It’s obviously not a pleasant experience for the three Pre Cogs and someone should do something about this. It makes you wonder how ethical the world that they live in is. Sure, they’ve effectively gotten rid of murder in that area, but there are still many other crimes out there. Let’s hope the government is prepared for what comes next.

Overall, Minority Report definitely couldn’t live up to the video game. The game was awesome on all levels and this one was a pale reflection at best. They both contain many identical scenes, but the game managed to really capture you with the plot without resorting to gross moments or excessive murder displays. The film spent too much time trying to shock the audience instead of just going through the story naturally. The dark element involved in the tragedy for the main character may make him more sympathetic, but it doesn’t help the actual film. Such a move will never help the film since a happier sob story would be better. I don’t recommend this film and if you want a futuristic film that actually shows how the future will probably be in 800 years, I recommend Yugioh 3D Bonds Beyond Time!

Overall 3/10

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Review

Posted on August 30, 2014 by dreager1

The Summer is basically over, but we’re still ready for one more big action film right? This film has some pretty steep competition since we’ve already witnessed some all stars in Captain America and Spiderman. Godzilla provided us with an unforgettable cinematic experience and Guardians of The Galaxy continued the MCU’s streak of victories. This means that the Ninja Turtles must try to defeat Robocop, X Men Days of Future Past and Transformers. Can it do this or is it already doomed to lose? The film was essentially about as good as I thought it would be and it didn’t drag on quite as much as I had feared.

The film gives us a quick intro to the turtles as we see them train and get a feel for the surroundings. (This is what the remake film for Batman and the upcoming Dr. Strange film should definitely do) We learn that the Foot Clan was a pretty powerful organization, but the cops eventually forced them to go underground. Now, the Foot Clan is prepared to rise up once again with the mighty Shredder as their leader! Splinter commands the Turtles to refrain from visiting the outside world because they are not yet ready. The Turtles don’t really care though because they have lives to save! April O Neal gets involved after she witnesses a battle between the two sides. She wants to expose the Turtles for the heroes(?) that they are, but they don’t want this. Will the Turtles be able to take down the Shredder and will April get her scoop!? The stakes have never been higher….

First off, I have to give the film some credit for the fight scenes. The battles against the Shredder were pretty intense. I dare say that they were more fun than Wolverine’s battle against the Silver Samurai. It may not be quite up to snuff with something like Cap vs Winter Soldier, but it was still very good. I dare say that the action scenes were better than I had anticipated. The iconic battle between the Shredder and the 4 Turtles atop the tower is easily the best fight, but Splinter’s battle is pretty emotional as well.

Of course, it may not be as enjoyable if you don’t like blowouts. The four turtles are literally unable to damage Shredder in their fights until the very end where the plot demands that the film must have a happy ending. It’s 4 to 1 and Shredder is basically toying with the turtles. There were several times where he could have finished them off and he just didn’t bother. The film also makes sure to show us that Splinter could also take on the 4 turtles at once since he gave the Shredder a better fight. I really feel bad for the Turtles sometimes.

The normal action scenes against the Foot Clan is a little less entertaining. The camera angles weren’t very good so it was hard to get an accurate picture of the action. It was still pretty suspenseful and epic to see the Turtles doing so well in the shadows, but we all knew who would win. I found myself missing the pizza boy from the original films a few different times.

The soundtrack is pretty generic. Nothing that you haven’t heard before. Unfortunately, it ends up being pretty negative thanks to the rap song during the credits. Easily the worst song that I’ve heard in such a mainstream film in a long time. I really don’t like rapping and it tends to make any scene a little less enjoyable. In moderation, it is possible to have a good rap song in the background, but it’s extremely rare. Mostly because I just don’t care for the beat and the lyrics are usually pretty cringe worthy. This is one film where you should make sure to dash out as soon as the credits start. Nobody’s got time for that song!

One issue with the film is naturally the romance. This is a work that is associated with Michael Bay so I’m sure that we all expected the worst. It never gets as drastic as the early Transformer films, but it can still be very annoying and grating on the ears. Michelangelo is constantly flirting, which isn’t cool. He never stops going after April and you really want the other turtles to make him back off. Unfortunately, they tend to ignore him. April’s partner also flirts a lot, although at least he does it in a classier way. If not for one scene where he shows that he doesn’t mind stooping to low levels, he would have actually been a good character. Unfortunately, it’s hard to save such a character. At least there really isn’t much here in terms of fan service, but unnecessary flirting is still pretty bad.

One big complaint that I had with the film was the lack of pizza scenes. If you’re a TMNT fan, then you’ll know that pizza is always very involved in the franchise. It only gets one or two scenes during the flashbacks and a single appearance in the modern times. They claim that it’s a Pizza Hut slice, but it bears to resemblance to any Pizza Hut slice that I’ve ever had! Even if it did have 99 cheeses on it, the actual slice should look similar. The film really dropped the ball there and the tension in the theater was pretty ominous. I think we were all tempted to leave and go to Pizza Hut for a true slice to compare it to the film’s.

Raphael is probably the best turtle from the group, although Leonardo is close. Raphael is basically the tough member of the group, while still being very nice and gentle on the inside. It’s an “epic” plot development where he confesses what he has been holding inside all these years. Everyone else ignores him and you’re supposed to feel bad for the guy. I was just waiting for the plot to continue. Raphael is pretty confident and he may be the strongest turtle, but he’s still no match for the Shredder. Raphael is decently likable, but he’s ultimately generic and he’s essentially the winner by default.

Leonardo is close, but it’s mostly because of the fact that he’s pretty silent compared to the others. He’s the fearless leader, but he spends all of his time trying to prove his superiority to Raphael. He gets one scene where he goes up against the Shredder in a one on one fight. All I will say is that the fight scene lasts for about 2 seconds and it’s very embarrassing. We don’t see anything that proves he has what it takes to be the leader. It’s one thing to be outclassed by the villain, but Leonardo never gets any big moments. He’s just there to fill in the fourth spot. Of course, that’s better than being the flirt of the group, but we’re coming to that.

Donatello wasn’t very likable and that’s because he’s the smart guy of the group. Now, why is that a bad thing? It doesn’t have to be since we have had many cool smart characters in the past. Light Yagami, Bruce Banner, Batman, etc. The problem is that Donatello wants to be “the cool guy” and he has one scene where he proves this to the others. He should just be happy to be the smart guy, but why would he be when Foot soldiers can just hack into his systems? In that case, there’s just no winning for the guy. He definitely seems to be the weakest fighter and he actually doesn’t seem to be very smart….he just uses big words to get that vibe. Nah, he didn’t work for me in this one.

Michelangelo was easily the worst turtle. His fans may be pleased at his contribution to the big fight in the film, but it’s not nearly enough to save him. He flirts with April nonstop throughout the film. It’s pretty sad and his taste in music also isn’t that good. His mind is never on the mission and he’s not very good at hand to hand combat. He actually forgets about Raphael (along with the other turtles) after the turtle had come to save him. Michelangelo isn’t exactly a team player and he never will be at this rate. Without Michelangelo, this film actually had a pretty strong chance of cracking a 7. He just brings the whole thing down since you basically have to tune him out.

April is the main heroine of the film and it’s a little scary to think that she’s more likable than the turtles. Unfortunately, she humors Michelangelo most of the time as she never tells him to give it a rest. There’s also one scene (Most of the trailers showed this) where she faints after talking to the turtles, which was rather unrealistic. She’s a tough reporter and she had already been talking to them. Why would she faint after seeing a turtle without his headband? It seemed to have been included just to be included. I guess it would help us to remember that the turtles are supposed to be scary, but it doesn’t work. Naturally, April gets her big moments where she helps the turtles take out the Shredder.

April also may not be that smart, but it could be another script issue. Her boss doesn’t believe that the turtles are real so April gathers a lot of “evidence” to prove it. Unfortunately, she doesn’t show her boss the pictures of the turtles that she got on her phone. It could be attributed to the fact that maybe she didn’t want to show this to the boss, but why wouldn’t she? She had every reason to show it to the boss since it definitely would have exposed the turtles. As long as April steers clear of the romantic advanced from her partner and Michelangelo, she should continue to be a pretty good character. She just needs to learn to do a better job of remembering what information she has at her disposal.

Sacks is one of the big players in the film. I can’t say that he’s very likable. One could say that his public role in the film is sort of like Harvey Dent’s. He’s shaking his fist at crime and he’s ready to stop the FOOT clan once and for all. Unfortunately, he’s not quite as convincing as Harvey and he is used for a lot of exposition. The exposition was definitely one of the boring moments of the film and we didn’t need another long origin story for the olden days.

Vernon is April’s partner and he wishes that she wouldn’t mind staying on the small jobs. He actually has a fair point since she’s still getting worthwhile things to report and I think April was a little too critical. The exercise convention was actually pretty good and jumping on a trampoline with other adults is hardly as embarrassing as she made it sound. If it was only her with a lot of little toddlers then maybe it would be tricky…maybe. A lot of people really wouldn’t mind considering that it will let them bring home their check. Back to Vernon, unfortunately, he isn’t quite as tough as he likes to think he is. He gets one attack at the very end of the film, but it’s not much. He does have one scene, which basically wrecks his character so you can’t really root for him by the end.

The Shredder is a pretty great villain. It’s interesting how he only talks in japanese when he doesn’t have the armor on, but becomes fluent in English with it. I’m guessing that the armor has an auto translator or something, but it’s definitely possible that the Shredder knows both languages. Nevertheless, he performs well in combat and that’s what counts. His goal is definitely a little dubious though and he better have the antidote at the ready. His fighting skills are so good that it will be tough for a sequel to top him as a villain. Although with the cliffhanger…I may not need to worry about this too much. The Shredder is definitely one of the highlights of the film.

Splinter is pretty powerful and he’s a likable fighter when he’s in on the action. That being said, I definitely disagree with some of his decisions. There’s no good reason to keep the turtles from patrolling the streets at night. The cops already took out most of the FOOT and when does he think the turtles will ever be ready? They’re already pretty tough and there’s a limit to how strong you will end up becoming. He was definitely too strict at that point, but I’m sure that he’ll lighten up from now on….although it may be too late for that.

Did I mention that the script for the film is pretty….retro? Unfortunately, this doesn’t seem to have been planned, but a lot of the lines are rather dated and they’re pretty cheesy as well. “Use an innocent as bait!” or something along those lines is uttered by the big bad Shredder! He acts as if no villain has ever done this before and his right hand woman even seems pretty shocked at the prospect. The music also quickly goes into its dramatic phase to highlight the scene as an important gamechanger. If these guys are villains, they shouldn’t have a problem with using civilians as bait. There were quite a few other lines that I could mention since they’re scattered throughout the film. I like a little cheesy dialogue in the films, but then it should be consistent and make the rest of the film cheesy as well.

I would definitely say that TMNT is a better adaption of the franchise than the Transformer films. Of course, there is less to wreck in a TMNT film, but they still covered most of the bases without depowering the turtles too much. One could argue that they’re slightly more impressive here than in their own series. I wouldn’t go that far, but they are pretty tough. The designs still look pretty terrible to me though. I seriously hope that they change the designs for the sequel and return them to how they looked in the old films or a model that looks a little bit more like the cartoons. I’m definitely all right with the Shredder’s design though since it’s pretty intense.

Overall, This film is kind of like Robocop. It’s just a fun film without anything to help it stand above the crowd. The main drawback is the excessive flirting from both Michelangelo and Vernon. Without that, the film didn’t really have any big flaws. Of course, that’s enough to hurt it a lot and the end credits scene was pretty bad as well. (The rap song hurts your ears as well) The cliffhanger may be intriguing to some and generic to others. Either way, I can safely say that I am looking forward to the next TMNT film. It should be a good one, although it won’t be great. I recommend this film if you survived through the first Transformers film to see how you compare the two. Both of them take a few shots at the original sources so that should be interesting. (Karai’s role is very disappointing for her fans and the “Cowabunga” term is used, but the Turtles look very bad in that scene…it’s one of those things) If you don’t like to see the main heroine get harassed by everyone for the entire film…this won’t be the title for you.

Overall 6/10

Ocean’s Twelve Review

Posted on August 18, 2014 by dreager1

It has been a while since I saw Ocean’s Eleven. It was a good film, but would this one be able to match up? History hasn’t been kind to sequels for a very long time. Also, throwing in a 12th member could be stretching it since most films are not ready for a huge cast. This film seemed to face a lot of problems with the cast and the budget, but it was still a decently good film. Nowhere near as good as the first one of course.

The Ocean’s 11 gang has been living their lives in luxury since their big heist in the first film. They’ve put it all behind them, but they should have known that their past would find them someday! The head honcho of the casino has been tipped off to who the members were and he pays each of them a visit. He informs them that they have two weeks to earn around 200 million dollars or they shall be destroyed. The heroes will need to pull a really big job to even dream of getting such an amount!

The first thing that I would mention is the size of the cast. Managing so many big players is tricky for a film and this one didn’t pull it off. From the original Ocean’s 11 group, not all of them get big roles. One of them basically leaves to enjoy his riches in the beginning and another one is stuck in jail for the majority of the film. 2-4 other members are there, but they barely get any lines and they’re just there for the effect. They could have called it something like the Ocean’s 6 and it may have made more sense. It’s still fun to have a large cast though and it can give a film potential as long as most of the characters are likable.

The next issue would likely be the budget. Of course, it doesn’t have to be a budget problem and it could be a stylistic choice by the director. Nevertheless, the film felt really low budget at times. The camera angles looked as if someone grabbed their handheld camera and recorded everything. We got a lot of scenes where the picture would just stop and quickly start again. It was to show how the time was passing of course, but it could have been done in a better way. The most noticeable part was definitely when the camera angles kept shifting. Over and over again until you would get dizzy in the theater. It especially happened during the stalker scenes where the camera color turned into a red background. Intriguing to be sure…but it didn’t really work. I also felt like we got cheated out of the operations. We would typically only see parts of their plan and others would be filled in through flashbacks, but as an afterthought.

Luckily, the budget and large cast don’t take away from any of the film’s pros. The opening (Not the unnecessary opening scene) where the villains goes to each hero one by one was pretty epic. I like how one of the characters mentioned Jim Crow as he was taken out of a book or something. (Likely referring to the Jim Crow laws) and one character mentioned how he always did play the race card. It was only notable because I got the Jim Crow reference and it is true that someone’s always ready to use the race card online. The character had a good comeback for that as well. It’s too bad that he got the shaft in this film. The solid opening was definitely one of the best parts of the film.

I’m always up for a good competition between secret agents so the final part of the film had a pretty cool plot. I believe that it could have been handled a little better, but the whole point is that the main characters aren’t very smart so I suppose that some parts were excusable. The scene where the rival gets through the lasers was definitely pretty good. I would have been rooting for him if not for the constant cheating.

Danny is essentially the main character of the film. He doesn’t get to eat up a majority of the screentime, but he still acts like the leader. He takes the situation in stride and the name is based on his last name. He’s a pretty good character for the most part, but the romance angle can definitely be dicey. At least he puts more effort into the whole spying operation than the others. He’s probably the most likable member of the group. He knows the stakes and he’s ready to take the win.

Terry is easily the best character in the film. Easily. This guy meant business and he’s an epic villain. He really just tells it like it is and he doesn’t use any cheap tricks. His wager may not have been very fair, but he’s the first to admit to that. 2 weeks is still a decent amount of time and if Ocean’s 11 is as good as they say…it shouldn’t be a problem. It would have been cool if Terry got to appear more, but that’ll do for now. Epic Name + Epic Character = Win. This guy seriously couldn’t get any better at this point!

Isabel is one of the main antagonists of the film. She’s pretty smart and the only scene where she doesn’t look very good is at the beginning. She’s probably not as cunning as the main characters, but she has picked up many tricks in her line of work. Stealing one of the main characters’ phones was pretty good work on her part. I don’t really blame her for going under the radar at the end of the film since the consequences for the 1077 would be pretty severe, but hopefully she keeps her moral compass on. Stealing from someone and going back to the old ways would not help her character progression.

I didn’t really care for Yen’s character. It’s really for the same reasons that I don’t care for Groot or Chewy at times. He doesn’t speak English and he is always bouncing around. He just didn’t really work in this film. At least provide us with subtitles so we can follow what he’s saying. The characters can understand what he is saying somehow, but it doesn’t make his scenes any more enjoyable. He got a bigger role than most of the other characters, which is too bad. Maybe he’ll be better in the next film.

Reuben is a pretty solid character and he’s one of the more experienced members of the Ocean’s 11. He definitely takes the whole charade a little more seriously than the others. He defeated the stock market and he has more money than all of the other members. This is definitely a guy that you don’t want to underestimate. His disguise was also more thought out than the others. (Most of them didn’t even bother with one….) I wouldn’t have minded if he got more of a role.

Rusty probably gets the largest role from the main characters aside from Danny. (And that is arguable) He used to hang out with Isabel and he jeopardizes the team’s goals more than once. He typically doesn’t regret anything because it’s all worth it to him. I did not like him though and he’s one of the more unlikable members. He let romance get in the way of the team’s glory and that’s one of the things that you are not supposed to let happen. He let his skills degrade over the years and the team may have done better without him.

Tess is with Danny and she ends up coming to help for the final case. She was all right I suppose, but I believe that her character could have been a lot better. I definitely expected her to beat up Danny at the end and she didn’t disappoint. She was just a little too generic in the film and she didn’t get any moments that really helped to separate her from the pack. Her opening scene was decent since she talked back to the villains, but that was about it. Isabel was definitely more impressive.

Linus is basically the rookie of the group. He doesn’t really understand all of the lingo involved and he fells bad about stealing from those who are not in an equal position to fight back. The other don’t harbor any doubts since their morals have already been thrown out the window. Linus decides to throw his out as well as he joins in on the fun. He was a decent character although it’s too bad that he joined the group in the first place. From a character standpoint anyway, he was basically corrupted. His ending is pretty good though and at least he got to have a short turn as the leader.

Toulour is the big rival in the film. He doesn’t really get much of a role until we’re nearing the end of the film, but he quickly makes up for this with his scenes. He really does earn his title as the greatest thief out there. It was a little too easy for the heroes to find out what his true identity was, but I guess he wasn’t really hiding it. At the end, we really have to accept that he is a better thief than the Ocean’s 11. (Especially when you consider that there is 1 of him and 11 of the other guys) His laser scene was just intense! He does cheat though so he’s not as likable as he could be. I guess anything goes in such a battle, but I would have liked to see him go for the gold on his own. He didn’t even need to cheat at that point.

Notice that I didn’t mention all 11 of the members. That’s because the rest of them didn’t really get a role in the film. They were really just there to be there and that’s not the best role to have. The old man did make the right move in leaving, but he had a pretty bad attitude about it so I can’t say that he was likable. One member was only there to complain about the team’s name and the Jim Crow one was taken out before he could really do anything. So, the film really cheated on the large cast since most of them didn’t really do a whole lot. We’ll see if they have better luck with Ocean’s 13!

The soundtrack was decently good for this film. It’s not going to win any awards, but at least I remembered a tune or two by the time the film had ended. That’s more than the average movie and the film deserves some credit for that. Now, it just needs to try to add more tunes to the sequel.

One thing that bogs the film down a little is the romance. I definitely would have been happy if they could have reduced it a little. It takes away from the story and we just want the plot to start up again. It’s all we could want in the end to be honest. The film also drags on just a little by the end, but it’s good that they made the 2 hour attempt.

Overall, This was a decent heist film. I definitely preferred the first one, but it wasn’t a bad sequel. I think it could have been better if we had gotten to see their operations all the way through and if they had cut out some scenes. We get many shots of the characters just walking around or talking to each other where the plot has to come to a halt. Seeing more of Terry would have been nice as well. Still, the writing is pretty solid in the film and the characters are decently good. There were a lot of missed opportunities, but the film did a decent job with the cards that it had. I recommend this film to those that want to see a retro thief against thief mission. If that’s not your style, I recommend checking out Justice League Unlimited for some pretty deep plots.

Overall 6/10

Need For Speed Review

Posted on August 15, 2014 by dreager1

It was finally time to watch a film based off of a popular video game series! I own several Need for Speed titles although I’ve only completed one of them so far. I plan on working on the others soon, but I’ve been focusing on my Wii collection a lot. The trailer for this film looked decent and I expected your average blockbuster with a lot of action and a small plot on the side. I basically got what I expected, but I would say that it was a little less entertaining than I would have guessed. Let’s see why this happened!

I believe that one factor is the cast of characters in the film. None of them are really that interesting or likable. Typically, you need either the main character or the main villain to be interesting to keep the film afloat. The supporting characters definitely play a big role in this as well, but none of them turn out to be very good. I’ll discuss each of the main characters now.

Tobey is the main character and after a tricky race where his bro dies, he decides to avenge him by racing in another race against the murderer. A noble goal, but I could not bring myself to like Tobey. Even before the Pete incident, Tobey never really talks and he always seems pretty gruff. Whenever he talks, it’s hard to hear him because he’s basically mumbling. He also gives Julia a hard time for the majority of the film. He does have emotional reasons to keep to himself of course, but it’s not very fun for the viewer. I found myself missing Alex Hopper from Battleship and that’s never a good thing.

Another problem is that Tobey’s supposed to be an elite driver. He does do pretty well on the track, but it’s a mix of luck and skill. At one point, he’s in the lead, but he seems to be taking it easy. The racer in third is only unable to pass him because the second place racer is holding him back. They have identical cars so Tobey should have been able to win without help. In the end, Tobey just wasn’t charismatic.

Dino is the main villain of the film. He has quite the reputation since the heroes don’t want to work with him from the get go. It actually makes them all look pretty bad for a while since the deal seemed to be pretty good. Of course, Dino quickly showed his true colors during the race. He only cares about the win and he’ll smash anyone out of his way. That’s basically his character arc. I thought that he was the leader of a mob or something, but he’s just a mean person. He’s pretty rich and he is a good driver, but not as good as he claims. Dino’s a pretty generic villain, but at least he has a cool car. He needs to win one more race to get all the money that he needs..but will he be able to do it? It’s going to be rough!

Julia is the main heroine and she knows how to drive, which is always a good thing. Her accent is always underestimated since the others seem to think that it is fake, but she always gets them to see the truth. She does have a really generic moment where she shows that she’s actually an expert in car manufacturing. Why was she pretending not to be smart before that scene? I guess she just wanted to mess with the heroes. Her plan was a little tricky since I definitely wouldn’t trust Tobey and friends to make it through their adventure in one piece. She definitely ends up helping out a lot, but her riches could be better spent at home with her PS4.

Benny easily has the biggest role from all of Tobey’s partners. He gives them a tough time because they refuse to call him by his true airborne name. (Maverick) He definitely takes the most risks as he has to keep stealing Helicopters from various places. The military, the news, etc. How does he get away with it? Plot convenience I suppose. He’s definitely a step up from the other members.

Monarch is the head honcho behind the underground races. He talks a good game and he seems to know what’s up. He’s an expert on the cars and he always calls the shots. He takes everything in stride because he’s never really in any danger. The cops have yet to find out about his show and nobody can find him. He just hosts the races and watches as everyone is taken out. He’s a pretty amusing announcer.

Anita is a character that the film seemed to forget after a while. Based off of one of the first scenes, it was easy to imagine that she would have some kind of role. Instead, her character arc is shoved to the side and she’s basically written out of the movie. She appears towards the end for her big moment, but it’s a little too little too late. Not to mention that she really should have been a little more suspicious about the mysterious circumstances around Pete’s demise.

Pete is a decent character I suppose. He doesn’t really know when to stop talking though and nearly costs his team everything. He kept on insulting the main villain when he knew that a lot of money was on the line. Finally, he was goaded into racing…and I’m pretty sure we know how that ends. Pete wasn’t a really bad character, but he definitely wasn’t the smartest one out there. If he had played his cards right, things could have turned out a lot differently. (Assuming Dino would keep his word in the first place)

Finn is another member of Tobey’s crew and he’s easily the worst character in the film. His scenes are downright cringe worthy. His worst scene is when he decides to quite his job. To do this, he strips down and makes sure to humiliate anyone. Where are the cops? The place looks like a very fancy establishment and I’m sure that security would be present. They should have taken him down before he even had time to leave the building. That’s really what should have happened. Finn doesn’t add anything to the plot and his attempts at humor really fall flat. He definitely didn’t do the film any favors.

Joe’s probably the most bland member of the team. He doesn’t really get a lot of character development. He’s the first guy to go and help Tobey so that’s something. He was really just there and I can’t say that he was a good character or a bad one. Things wouldn’t have really changed if he had not been in the film since his role was so small. Better to be non existent than to be another Finn I suppose.

You can definitely see that I did not care for the cast. Another factor that weakens them is the fact that they act like the characters from a horror film. They constantly use swear words in just about every sentence. It’s mostly because of where they’re from and they’re just used to it, but it can still be pretty annoying to hear. You hear it almost every second….nooooo.

Another weak point of the film is the acting and the romance. I never really comment on the acting, but it was pretty bad. Particularly Tobey’s acting and Julia’s at some points. Let’s throw Finn in there as well. The romance was also pretty unnecessary. It pops up out of nowhere between Tobey and Julia. I guess she admires his racing skills, but that’s no excuse to just fall for him. We have a really wince worthy scene where they both stare at each other for a really long time and you’ll want to glance at your watch. There’s also a really terrible scene between Finn and one of his co-workers. That kind of thing is not funny and not realistic either. The other members of the staff should have stepped in or at least beat Finn up.

The car chase scenes were still pretty good. There was a bunch of plot hax in them though. I don’t believe that they would be beating up on the police like this. At the very least, they would be arrested as soon as they stopped. They were visually interesting though and who doesn’t like to see cars going at such speeds? The games handle it in a much better way, but a film can only do so much anyway. As mentioned earlier, the helicopter snagging is a really big stretch for disbelief. The cops should have known about it pretty much instantly.

One more thing that should be noted the racing through traffic scenes. Of course, it happens in the games so it must happen in the film. It still doesn’t make all that much sense while you’re watching it though because the heroes should have been down for the count several times. You simply can’t weave through traffic like that and not get bumped or hit a bunch of times. They were a little too lucky here.

The soundtrack is really nonexistent, which is too bad. Car scenes should really have a good theme going. Just look at Final Fantasy VII Advent Children. The chase scenes have really good themes and it helps you appreciate just how cool they are. A soundtrack is always something that should be added to make things fun.

Overall, This film was decent I suppose. It’s not the kind of film that I would ever want to watch again, but I wouldn’t call it a downright bad film. Considering the type of film that it was, Need For Speed should have been a lot better. Using some effects from Speed Racer may have helped since that one had better race scenes. A 5 may be a little generous, but I think it’s a decent rating for a film. I don’t really recommend it, but I wouldn’t stand in the way of it either. If you don’t mind the language and you’re ready to see some races, then you may not mind the film. Just know that the film drags on for a while since it’s so long and that the characters are pretty unlikable. With that in mind, it’s your choice on whether you want to see this one. I would sooner recommend Speed Racer or Final Fantasy VII Advent Children for chase scenes!

Overall 5/10

Noah

Posted on August 9, 2014 by dreager1

I’m sure that we were all thrilled to see Hollywood finally start to adapt the events of the Bible. It was long overdo. We’ve had many films about the Civil War and other big events and these deserve just as much screentime. On the other hand, many Christians were pretty skeptical since the trailer did look pretty suspect. Unfortunately, they were right to be wary of this film since it’s example of how the theater can try to make the Bible “mainstream” and inaccurate.

As you may have guessed, this is a Very loose adaption of the classic tale. In the Bible, God decides to wipe out most of the human race by having a flood appear on the Earth to wipe everything out. He tells Noah to build an ark. 2 of every animal would go on it along with Noah and his family. The story was not very long in the Bible, but it was a very significant event in history. After all, it was where God said that he would never end the world by flood again. The film takes that plot and adds tons of stuff to it while “fleshing out” the characters to make sure that they are all pretty unlikable.

Now, adapting the Bible is a tricky matter in itself. I’ll definitely admit to that. Some of the events can be pretty brutal and it can be tough to see all of the animals being sacrificed on screen from the old testament. That being said, everything that is contained within the Bible is there for a reason so it must be kept in. It’s tough for me to watch as a big animal lover and the events can be pretty violent. Still, it must never be changed as it can trick new believers and they can miss out. So, I may still have a tough time watching a faithful adaption, but at least I would be watching it as it was meant to be seen. Dragging out the tale of Noah to 2 hours would be tricky for anyone and keeping it completely accurate would be challenging. That being said, the film didn’t need to be over 2 hours and the writers could have consulted with Christian scholars and pastors to get a better consensus of how the film should go. It would be more work, but it would be worth it. It would have also been worth their while to have made the film only run for about an hour or an hour and a half instead of adding tons of plot elements. Where did the film go wrong? Just about everywhere.

We have “The Watchers” who are fallen angels that disobeyed God because they wanted to help the humans while God had already decreed that the descendants of Cain would have to live by the sweat of their brow. God punished them by merging them with the soil of the Earth so that they became rock creatures. Then, the humans betrayed them and destroyed most of The Watchers. The Watchers became angry with humankind and they fled to a rocky area. Well….do you remember any of that from the Bible? I certainly don’t and I read that saga pretty recently. The whole concept of The Watchers is something that I don’t like. Personally, I have always pictured the Angels to be humanoid and made of light. (The Watchers transform back into this form when they die so at least their natural form was more in line with my thoughts) Of course, we won’t really know until we go to Heaven and their forms may not be so easily comprehended. Nontheless, I don’t believe that a human could ever destroy one of them, even if they were cursed to walk the Earth. Ever. That’s simply not possible and a complete insult to them.

It should also be noted that the word God is never used. They just refer to him as “The Creator.” The way that the universe is formed also makes it seem like it was a natural occurrence. God created the light and then everything just formed on its own….yeah right. The film likely didn’t want to offend atheists by mentioning God, but then why are they even making this film? This is supposed to enlighten more people to the word of God and to be a good way for Christians to see the story. If the writers won’t go all the way in making this a true adaption of the story of Noah, then there is no point.

Noah is also a pale shadow of himself. His big moment involves….disobeying God. He believes that God wanted him to murder two babies (You can already see how insane this is right?) so he does everything in his power to destroy them until he is finally next to them. Then he tells God that he will not do it and he leaves. One of the characters tries to tell him that God actually wanted him to spare the babies and he made the right choice, but it was handled poorly. Noah basically ended up choosing his family over God. He definitely misinterpreted God’s message as destroying the babies was not what he was meant to do, but it would have been better if God had told him to stop.

Another thing that I didn’t like was that God never actually spoke to Noah. Noah got brief visions about people drowning and other things, but God never actually talked to him. In the Bible, God told him exactly how to make the Ark, down to the specific size specifications. Again, the general audience may have found that hard to believe, but it’s what happened so that’s what should have happened in the film. We can’t alter the facts just to make things more “believable.” God never explains the visions either and Noah does everything by his own interpretation. In the Bible, everything was made clear to Noah. In the film, they act as if God barely cares about what is transgressing and the angels are the only real proof that he exists. (There are some minor scenes like a flower growing and the flood of course, but not talking at all is not a good move on the film’s part)

Back to Noah himself. He mostly just went around beating everyone up as he got the Ark ready. This just wasn’t the Noah that I was expecting. Self defense is good and all, but having him murder a bunch of people in one of the opening scenes isn’t how his character portrayal should have started. We’re supposed to see that he is a good man in a corrupt world, but we never really see this. He seems to be just another villain as he tries to murder the infants.

You can tell that my experience with the film was pretty negative. It’s just hard not to take a few shots at the film when everything was so wrong. Want to know another big problem with the film? One of the villains actually breaks into the Ark. That definitely did not happen in the Bible and it undermines everything. The whole point was that God protected Noah and his family once they were in the ark. They had nothing to fear because they knew that God would keep them safe. Not in this version and the villain actually murders a few of the animals. There is seriously no justice in this film.

The film has a ton of unnecessary animal violence and it’s very gritty throughout. We see many people dying and injured on the ground as they cannot leave. One of the worst scenes is when Noah walks into the enemy city and witnesses slave auctions and merciless animal violence. Don’t worry, I can possibly top that with another scene. Perhaps it can’t top that last one in terms of terribleness, but it comes close. Noah’s son helps a girl to escape this place and she trips on one of the bear traps. Noah’s son calls for Noah to come and help. So…Noah grabs him and runs away as we see the girl get trampled to death by the incoming mob. Noah regrets nothing since he believes that everyone in the village is evil with no exceptions. No exceptions. After all, he believes that his family are the chosen ones that God has deemed to live so any new life must be destroyed. Hence, why the baby must die.

I could likely go on for a while, but you get the jist of it and this technically isn’t a review. Just know that Noah is a really bad film interpretation of the story and I definitely would not recommend it. God’s Not Dead is a perfect Christian movie to watch that is fictional, but tells a good story. Son of God also came out recently and I can assure you that it is a pretty faithful movie about Jesus. Let’s hope that Exodus will be better as it will be hard to be worse…..but I wouldn’t get my hopes too high. Even if this was just movie that didn’t adapt the Bible, it would have still been a pretty poor one and you can bet that my score for it would have been extremely low. This is a story of brutality and of a man who lived through the great flood, but there is nothing about God’s kindness or anything to really show that he is alive at all. In the end, I’d say that the film….sunk.

Van Helsing Review

Posted on August 5, 2014 by dreager1

It’s time for a vampire film review! After Twilight, I know that it can be a little hard to take vampire films seriously anymore. To my defense, I have always been against them. They just don’t make for very interesting characters. Luckily, we also get Dr. Hyde, Frankenstein’s Monster, and a vampire hunter. Adding in all of these fighters should help to make things better….I hope!

The plot revolves around the hunter known as Van Helsing. He’s notorious around many regions of the world and everyone has heard of him. He has quite the reputation after all. He finishes off a few monsters and his boss sends him to go meet Anna. He has to keep her alive to foil Dracula’s plans. Unfortunately, her brother has already been taken down so Dracula’s plan is almost complete. Will the heroes be able to put aside their differences and defeat him? It’s a longshot, but it may be possible!

Well, this is essentially how I pictured a film with Dracula as the main villain. I’m sure that Dracula may become a cool character someday, but I’m just not buying it. I really didn’t like him here and disliking the main villain can definitely hurt in the long run. Before we really discuss the film, let’s look at the cast involved.

Van Helsing is our lead and he’s basically the Jonah Hex of the group. He’s the confident professional who always gets his man and he doesn’t back down from a fight. That’s pretty noble is it not? Well, I’d argue that he’s all talk. His first fight scene against Mr. Hyde is supposed to show us just how hardcore he is. It only serves to prove the opposite as Van Helsing continues to brag despite being outmatched. He should have been destroyed several times during the fight and he only makes it out thanks to Hyde’s overconfidence.

After that, he gets beaten up on by Dracula’s two henchwomen before getting knocked around by Dracula himself. Van Helsing may not be human, but he may as well be for all the good that it does him. He’s just completely outmatched and that makes it tough for him to pose a threat to anyone. His personality is really generic in the end and there’s nothing to separate him from the other main leads of a hollywood film.

Anna is certainly not the next Black Widow. She takes pride in her overall ability, but it’s simply not enough in this film. Perhaps she could give the average human a run for their money, but she definitely wasn’t prepared for Dracula and his cronies. Due to her family history, you would expect her to have a little more experience. Unfortunately for for her, Anna gets thrown around for the entire film. Van Helsing even takes her out with his handy dandy sleeping gas. Anna continues to talk tough until the very end, but it’s very hard to take seriously.

How can anyone really take a fighter seriously when they talk tough and get defeated the next moment? I believe that it’s supposed to be inspirational to see the hero mocking the villains even while being kicked around, but I can’t say that it’s very good character development. Anna essentially serves as a parody to the tough female lead that we are used to seeing nowadays. She never really had an edge in any of her fights and it definitely wasn’t a fun showing for her. Perhaps things will turn around if this film got a sequel..too bad it won’t get one at this rate. At least she beats most of the other characters in the film…it just isn’t saying much.

Dracula is the big bad. He’s the head honcho and the ultimate evil in the film! His design is a little off putting since Dracula’s hairstyle is usually a little more subdued. Nontheless, it’s always good to have a powerful villain. Unfortunately, Dracula loves to squander his power as he holds it all back until it’s too late. He spends a lot of time talking to his minions and showing us why he’s such a terrible villain. It’s impossible to root for him while he’s so preoccupied in doing things that don’t really help his plan. His minions are constantly distracting him.

Dracula is also supposed to be immensely powerful, but we don’t really see a lot of this. His two guards seem to be a lot stronger than him. They could move at super speed! Dracula didn’t really show a lot of that, but he does have a good amount of regeneration at the ready. If it could have worked more towards the ending, things would have gotten pretty interesting. This is one of those times where power isn’t enough. Dracula is powerful, but he’s still not a great villain. He simply doesn’t have what it takes and that’s the way that I see it. Dracula’s brides were no better. They were mostly there to be really dramatic and help Dracula in his inevitable downfall. They didn’t have much of a role as characters.

Carl is Van Helsing’s assistant and he’s here to keep things light. It’s sad when characters are really just in a story for comic relief. Carl should at least try to be helpful and get some big moments. Technically, fans could argue that he had a crucial role at the end, but I can’t say that I buy it. They were really generic moments meant to make us like Carl a little more. No! Carl is the type of sidekick that I just can’t root for. Give him a few years to learn how to fight and improve his tech…then we’ll talk. As it stands, Carl was definitely expendable.

Frankenstein’s Monster disappears for most of the film, but he finally comes back towards the end. He’s played off pretty accurately from the book. He’s a misunderstood hero and everyone wants to destroy him as per usual. It’s definitely not fun to be a monster. His design was definitely hard to look at and while he could fight..he was pretty slow. Making him so traditional may not have been a great move. At least he helped to add to the monster count, but he was mostly unnecessary.

Igor is one of the more minor villains in the film. He defected to the side of the villains so that he could fulfill his evil ambitions….or not. I wish that it had been for such a deep reason. Regardless, Igor just isn’t a good villain. He’s very weak and he doesn’t stand a chance against any real character. He likes to hit people when they’re down, but he’s no match for a real opponent. Igor typically isn’t a likable character in the films and this one is no exception.

Velkan is a supporting character at best. He does get a decent number of scenes though and he may be stronger than we thought. There’s a plot twist that keeps him relevant for a while. Needless to say, he lacked strength of character and I can’t say that he was very impressive at the beginning of the film. Everyone looked bad though, but the overall plan was terrible. His reaction times weren’t great either and it’s a lose-lose situation. If only he had been stronger!

It should be noted that some scenes will stretch your limits for disbelief. The “plot hax” in this film isn’t concealed very well. Anna is thrown through a window and she bangs a lot of wood beams and the wall as she went crashing down. It was a pretty big blast that a human likely wouldn’t survive. Likewise, Dracula’s brides kept slapping her around while throwing Van Helsing into walls. Both of them should have been out of commission considering how powerful they were.

The biggest moment where you may have to facepalm is the final fight between Dracula and a powerful creature. By all accounts, Dracula should have crushed his opponent. The film didn’t show us anything to suggest otherwise so I don’t see why it was such a close fight. In fact, Dracula is on the defensive the entire time and he seems very worried. He should at least try to act tough on the outside since that’s what all of the heroes do anyway. This film just made the mistake of making the villains too powerful. When that happens, the heroes always have to win in really fake ways like what we saw here.

The fight scenes ranged from pretty good to decent. The final fight with Dracula is pretty fun to watch since it’s essentially a monster bout. It was also good to see Dracula’s brides take on the village. Their super speed feats were pretty impressive and they should have destroyed everyone without any real effort. The plot wouldn’t allow it, but that’s how powerful they were. Other battles were less interesting like Van Helsing versus Hyde. It was way too one sided and the fight was pretty boring.

The soundtrack was mostly absent from the film. Luckily, there is still a really good theme that plays during the ending and at one point near the beginning. It’s very operatic and that’s the kind of theme that can make a scene become a lot cooler. It would have been cool if it had played more, but it’s enough to grant the soundtrack a passing score.

Finally, the film did have some unnecessary romance. It’s squeezed in at the last second for the heroes so you can tell that they just wanted to throw it in. Dracula and his brides also have some wince worthy scenes that are pretty sad. Sure, it could be worse, but this certainly didn’t help the film win any points.

Overall, This film lived up to my hopes for a Dracula film. I’ll never like Vampires at this rate and there will likely only be a few exceptions by the end. (Strauss is epic) There was a moment where some animal violence concerned me, but the animal lived, which was great. Still sad to see it get hit, but at least it managed to tank the blast. The film mostly suffered from the fact that it dragged on for too long and it wasn’t terribly interesting. Cutting out Dracula and Frankenstein’s monster would have helped it a lot. Or, make Dracula a compelling character as he punches people out instead of biting them. That could have been a nice twist. This film felt like I Frankenstein, but the normalized version that can be more acceptable to the crowds. Unfortunately, the crowds didn’t include me this time. If you like Vampire movies, then you should like this one. Otherwise, I’d advise you to steer clear of it. Watch I Frankenstein if you want a film with lots of magical creatures going at it. Perhaps I was a little harsh on the film since it could have made more mistakes, but it definitely made enough of them. A cooler cast with better action scenes could have potentially bumped this up to a 6 if handled right. Maybe next time.

Overall 4/10

Battle for the Planet of the Apes Review

Posted on August 4, 2014 by dreager1

It’s the final installment in the Planet of the Apes series. It should really be City of the Apes instead of Planet, but that’s just how it goes. If you’ve seen my reviews for the other titles, then you’ll know that I’ve been less than pleased with the series so far. The first film was the only one that I gave a decent score. (Depending on your definition of decent) Luckily, the series ends on a relatively high note as this one definitely defeats the second, third, and fourth films. I dare say that it can even defeat the first film. Making it an uphill battle for future Ape films to defeat this one. Why was I so impressed with this film? (Compared to the others anyway) Well, this film may have been a little on the boring side for a while, but it also corrected most of the problems that I had with the series.

The plot begins in the far future. An ole Ape is telling his audience about an ape named Caesar and how he had a good adventure. We go back to the past and Caesar now rules over all. The humans had another one of their wars and everyone in sight died. The few humans who lived through it were brought to the Apes to work as slaves. Caesar likes how things have turned out and he even has a kid named Cornelius. Unfortunately, the gorillas are starting to rebel and their newfound leader is Aldo. He believes that humans should be destroyed instead of enslaved and he seems to be pretty dangerous. Caesar doesn’t really consider him to be a threat, which is either brave…or overconfident. It’s a little ambiguous. MacDonald advises Caesar to check out the recordings of his parents and they wander into an abandoned city. Turns out that some mutants (Humans who were affected by the radiation) live there and now it’s time for the war to begin anew. The mutants will launch a final counter offensive to destroy the apes once and for all. Which side will prevail!?

Caesar is back to being our lead in this film although he’s pretty distant at times. He’s technically the main character, but you almost wouldn’t know it from the way he acts. He’s grown old and some of the members are beginning to realize this. The humans essentially work as his slaves right now although he likes to think of it as a friendship in the making. Once the two sides understand each other…there will be harmony. It’s a pretty intriguing strategy, but it’s one that would likely never work. Caesar just isn’t likable by the end because he’s a little too oblivious to everything that’s happening. He never even suspects who attacked his kid and he’s pretty isolated in his little hut. He doesn’t even hear the loud sounds of war when the attack first begins and he refuses to go out because he’s with Cornelius. He’s definitely not the general that you would expect. He still does have a solid glare that he shares with the others once in a while, but it’s just not enough.

MacDonald is in this film, but it’s not the same MacDonald from the last film. This one is the latter’s brother, but he retains the same personality. He wants Caesar to give the humans more freedom, but he plays along with the system for the moment. He has big plans and they all come to the surface at the end. It’s a risky gamble and it only barely pays off. He was all right I suppose, but there’s not much to say about him. He was just there.

General Aldo is one of the main villains in this film. He wants all of the humans to be destroyed and he has several followers. Their goals are ambitious and not even Caesar can stop them. Aldo is openly rebellious and the others seem to fear him. His misplaced pride in his methods keeps him from being a likable character. Whether human or ape, both species have some bad apples. His fight against Caesar was very brief and it definitely didn’t make him look like a powerful warrior. I guess he was all talk after all.

Governor Kolp is The main villain of the film. He is the leader of the small pocket of human resistance and he definitely won’t allow the apes to keep their city. He wants his men to destroy everything so that the Apes can be their slaves once more. This guy is obviously not a sympathetic villain and he’s also pretty weak. He’s the type of guy who ends up going on a long monologue and panics at everything. He’s completely unreasonable and war is the only thing on his mind. Maybe he would be a little more bearable if he would actually fight….but he can’t. He’s a pretty forgettable villain in the grand scheme of things.

So, as I mentioned earlier, this film was a definite improvement over the last one. General Aldo and Governor Kolp are mean villains, but we don’t have to be reminded of this constantly through shocks and other such scenes as in the last film. These guys just come out swinging and they’re not all that subtle about it. The climatic fight between Caesar and Aldo is pretty serious business and while it’s short, it easily beats the last few climaxes. This was a fight that you could get behind and the stakes were real. It was very cheesy and unintentionally funny, which made it more enjoyable than the overly long revolt climax that we got last time.

Of course, that still couldn’t stop the film from being pretty boring. You never really care about what’s going to happen. After all, it’s a story about how awesome Caesar is so there are only so many ways that the film could go from there. Starting out the film as a story is never a good idea. Luckily, the film is decently short so it doesn’t have a whole lot of time to drag on. It goes through the motions and as the viewers, we just play along.

Another negative for the film would be the previously segment. It’s pretty long and utterly unnecessary. If you forgot the plot for one of the most basic franchises out there, then it’s time to go and order some Doritos loaded. We get to see most of the scenes that we’ve tried to hard to forget. From the apes leaving their suitcase where anyone could find it to the final fight scene of the last film. This flashback took up quite a few minutes and we just didn’t need it.

The setting for the film plays out like the Walking Dead. It’s a sandy area without any real kind of life. The civilization is pretty primitive and most of the inhabitants are still finding their place in the world. Enslaving the humans essentially restarted the cycle, which felt a little bit like backtracking as well.

Once again, I’ve also got to criticize the big plan of the Apes. Having everyone lie down in the middle of the road to wait for the enemies to come is a pretty terrible strategy. They could have been stepped on or shot. The odds of such a plan succeeding are pretty low. This doesn’t help to show how much smarter Apes are than humans either. They got off lucky that time, but what about the next time the humans strike? They better have their weapons ready.

Overall, This Apes film was more enjoyable than the others. It essentially did away with most of my complaints. It didn’t develop into a very solid film either, but being boring was really its only big problem. It’s like watching a LOTR film, but at least it only lasts for a little over an hour and a half. Nothing really gets accomplished in the film. The only big event in the film is the human’s attack upon them. The rest is just the Apes talking and everyone being upset about their current predicament. Yes, I definitely wouldn’t recommend this film and you’re better off watching some old Naruto re runs. There is a happy ending though so maybe the cycle can finally stop…maybe. We’ll see if the Burton remake or the latest remake will be able to get a more positive score. It’s hard to picture…but it could happen. After all, this film gave us a ray of hope.

Overall 4/10

Guardians of the Galaxy Review

Posted on August 2, 2014 by dreager1

Well, Guardians of The Galaxy is definitely a film that everyone has been looking forward to for a very long time. The MCU could finally continue and this installment was going to give us a lot of data for the series. Of course, all of the characters are essentially new to the franchise so it was still a little risky. Guardians of the Galaxy ended up being another solid entry into the MCU and I’m ready for a sequel, but let’s take a more in depth look at it. I aim to keep spoilers to a minimum and will do my best to avoid them entirely, but I recommend watching the film before you read my review…just in case.

The film starts off with a scene on Earth as Star Lord is abducted by aliens when his mother passes away. Years pass and he is now a wanted man by many individuals. He finds a mysterious artifact in a tomb and now he is in a lot of danger. Ronan sends Gamora out to go take the orb from Star Lord while Rocket and Groot want to get the main character for his large bounty. After they bond and fight, the heroes realize that they’re going to have to team up if they want to have any hope of stopping Ronan. Can these individuals team up to face the enemies that no single hero could face alone? Let’s hope so!

Star Lord is the main character of our tale. His character seems to be based off of Captain Kirk’s to an extent. He shares traits with many of the classic heroes, which is likely intentional. He was definitely one of the more interesting characters, but every time he would have a really cool scene that would almost make you a fan, he would do something to negate it. As I mentioned earlier, he shares some traits with Kirk. One of these traits is unfortunately the fact that he flirts a whole lot. His first scene has a rather anticlimatic moment where we realize that he isn’t the only person aboard his ship. The scene really didn’t have a point and it was just so we could see how far Star Lord had fallen.

When he’s not flirting, Star Lord can be a pretty cool character. His mask is pretty epic and he’s a surprisingly good fighter. His plans aren’t bad and he was able to hold his own against Gamora and the others. The fact that he went after his MP3 player at one point was also a pretty cool scene. He typically made sure to do the right thing and he was a solid character for the most part. I just couldn’t like him by the end because the flirting was a little overdone, but he’s still a charismatic lead.

Gamora is an interesting case as well. Her character personality was all right, but I felt that her reputation was undeserved. Everyone seems to know her because of how skilled she is. The problem is that she never looks that tough on screen. Sure, she beats up a few prison guards at one point, but she typically loses the big battles. While she had the upper hand against Drax the first time they met, she never really had any other impressive moments. Her battle against Nebula was good of course, but I don’t see how she fell for the classic thunder rope trick. She also seemed pretty worried the whole time she was in prison. Those were some pretty tough odds, but they mentioned how she had been genetically altered so I figured that the extra power and speed would serve her well.

Personality wise, she’s definitely more heroic than I had figured. I definitely didn’t mind that since it was unexpected in a good way, but it did seem rather sudden. I guess Ronan has never tried to do something this large before or she may have defected sooner. As long as she doesn’t let Star Lord get to her in the sequel, she should stay as a decently good character. I do expect her to look more impressive combat wise in the sequel though. For “the world’s deadliest woman” she only appeared to be slightly stronger than Black Widow. We can expect her DC counterpart (Wonder Woman) to be a little more impressive so Gamora’s going to have to play catch up.

Rocket is a character that Marvel has worked hard to promote. He has a pretty solid fanbase so his portrayal in this film was definitely going to be looked at in detail by his fans. I like Rocket, although I wouldn’t call myself one of his bigger fans. I can see the appeal of the character and I’m always up for another Sgt. Rock. Rocket is shown to be the smartest member of the group and he has a lot of experience. He has broken out of many prisons before and he knows how to take them over from the inside by using Groot.

His drunk scene seemed pretty out of place though and it was a way of expanding his backstory a bit. I could have taken a pass on that part. His backstory is definitely pretty grim, but it should hopefully not appear on screen as the reference is probably all that we need to know about it. It’s definitely hard not to like Rocket from the start. His thunder zap against Star Lord was pretty good and he’s always confident. He’s a little weak physically compared to the others, but he’s always got Groot at his side so he does well in fights. It’s no stretch to say that he’s definitely the best member on the team.

Drax is probably my least favorite member of the group. It’s close, but I just never cared for this depiction of Drax. Remember the good ole days where he had a cape and his abilities were more on the level of the Hulk or Vision? I don’t know exactly when he changed, but ever since the reboot of his character began…they never looked back. This Drax is more of a generic warrior who likes to fight. You can say that he’s the power member of the group.

The problem is that he’s pretty weak. You can’t compare him to other fighters like Thor or the Hulk. He’s probably around Captain America level in physical power and I would easily take the Avenger to win a fight between them. Drax spends the entire film getting crushed by the opponents. Gamora nearly ends him, Ronan is on a different level, and Korath also throws him around for a while. This is because Drax doesn’t really have any technique to his fighting and he just relies on brute strength. He seems a little out of place in a comic book film.

Power aside, I also don’t really care for his personality. He doesn’t really know a lot about Earth and traditional customs, but we already have Gamora for that angle. (At least music wise) He’s not very smart, but Groot already serves that purpose. Drax really doesn’t add anything to the team and that’s probably another reason why I don’t care for him. I would have preferred Adam Warlock or Captain Marvel to replace this fighter. It helps that he cheered (Rocket is guilty of this too) when the animal got eaten. He could get better in the sequel..but we shall see.

Groot is the final member of the Guardians of The Galaxy and I’m likely not as much of a fan as most of the viewers. Personality-wise, he’s pretty decent. He seems to only partially understand the others or he just doesn’t think about it all that much. At the very least, he has no problem with disrupting the plan and doing things his way. He is pretty heroic for the most part though and he makes the tough calls. I can’t say that I was a big fan of his scene in the prison though. There were other ways in which he could have taken out the tough guy. I just never liked the branches through the nose technique before as I find it rather gruesome.

The main reason why I didn’t care all that much for Groot is the whole “I am Groot” part. It’s essentially like Chewie’s roar in Star Wars. Characters can just understand it somehow and then they put the pieces together. It may be okay once in a while, but the more that it occurs, the more that I don’t really enjoy it. I’d prefer to at least have some subs in this case. Groot is definitely a lot more durable than the other Guardians though and he would likely win in a fist fight.

Thanos finally gets to show himself in this film. Viewers of the Avengers series who prefer not to watch any of the other installments will likely be upset since they are expecting him to get a big role in Avengers II. This wasn’t to be and we can only hope that Thanos does join us for Avengers III. All signs point to it at the moment at least, but you could almost think that Thanos would be the big villain for Guardians 2.

His design seems to be a little different from the Avengers film, but it’s a little hard to tell since the lighting is pretty dark. His outfit is modeled after the comics, but all of the color has been drained from it. It reminds me of Wonder Woman’s new costume in the Batman vs Superman film coming out. (Color scheme wise) The outfit is bronze/gold and there isn’t any color to it. It definitely looks menacing though and Thanos essentially looks like a purple Hulk with armor. I don’t really have any complaints about the armor’s design. I definitely would have preferred the classic gold and blue, but this works.

Character wise, Thanos and Ronan have some banter as threats are implied and spoken outright. Nebula tells Ronan that Thanos is stronger than him, which is a solid continuation of the hype train for Thanos. I’m all aboard of course, but making Thanos stronger than Ronan isn’t very impressive. It’s a start of course, but this is why we’re waiting for his first actual fight. He reminds me of Darkseid and his throne is pretty good. Whether he has his first fight in a Guardians or Avengers film, it should be pretty epic.

Ronan is the main villain of the Guardians film. He’s a decent villain, although I would say that he’s not quite as tough as he could have been thanks to the film’s main characters. Since none of the heroes are very strong, they had to be careful about him. I would say that Ronan’s strength could be comparable to Iron Man’s armor if not a little stronger than that. Due to some circumstances in the film, his abilities do get better at one point and his weapon becomes truly devastating. It reminded me of Malekith in Thor: The Dark World. Once amped up, he could probably give Thor or the Hulk a pretty good run for their money.

Character wise, I found him to be very similar to Malekith. Ronan’s main goal is to destroy various civilizations and one in particular because he doesn’t believe in the peace treaty. He’s not with the Kree in this continuity as he commands a rebel force and he works with Thanos. He could be a little generic and executing defenseless civilians is a little petty. I’d say that he didn’t leave much of a lasting impression and he was a decent villain by the end. That’s still an improvement over most of the MCU villains though. I would have liked to see him go up against Thanos, but it wasn’t meant to be.

Nebula doesn’t get much of a role in this film, but she is regarded as a tough fighter. She has a brief fight with Gamora and we don’t really know much else about her. Her design is good and I’m always open to cyborgs. She seems to comprehend Thanos’ power more than the others and she naturally resents him. What she will do next will likely impact the plot of the sequel a lot. She makes for a good rival to Gamora and I don’t have much else to say about her just yet.

Yondu is pretty different from the comics, but it works for the film. He’s a lot older than you may have guessed and unlike Hawkeye, he only uses one arrow. It’s the whole quantity vs quality debate and his arrow is definitely well built. It’s like a laser and it’s sound based, which is pretty good. Yondu is definitely a threat and he could likely take out the Guardians of The Galaxy with decent ease. He would likely have some trouble against opponents with sound abilities or quick reflexes, but his arrow is quite fast so the reflexes would have to be on a high level. He’s not a very interesting villain though and his power is his saving grace. I don’t mind all that much if he appears in the sequel, but they have to be careful about how he fights. This ability leaves a lot of room for plot convenience and we don’t want that. Having someone give him an accurate fight will be a challenge, but a fun one to see on screen.

Korath gets a minor role in this film as well and he only gets one real fight scene against Drax. He looks a little stronger than you may have guessed, but the film did hint at it when he recovered from Star Lord’s thunder blast so quickly. He’s really just a nameless minion in the end in terms of plot importance. His design isn’t very interesting and he’s basically a throwaway character. I can’t say that I mind him all that much, but he’s definitely not going to be the next big threat.

I can’t say that I like the Collector anymore here than I did in Thor: The Dark World. He’s still a complete villain and I don’t understand why the Asgardians trust him. He’s useful for information, but the heroes should have shut down his base of operations a long time ago. You feel bad for his minions and things definitely get a little dicey for them. Hopefully this will be his last appearance in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. There’s really no need for him to appear any further anyway.

The Other makes his glorious return into the Marvel universe with this film. I have to say that I had only been mildly been expecting him to get a decent role here so that was pretty cool. Once again, he talks pretty tough to Ronan and I like how he’s always on top of things. The Other fears no being! (Not even Thanos…..) Apparently, he knew about some plans and schemes, but neglected to tell Ronan because The Other is a Boss. We don’t get to see any of his super speed in this film though so I have to wonder if it was forgotten or if the Other just couldn’t be bothered to use it. I’m hoping that he gets another solid role in the future where he can show off his abilities to their fullest.

Guardians of the Galaxy is definitely a very important film for the MCU. We learn a lot of things about the cosmic order in this continuity and Thanos appearing is certainly important as well. Everything is a lot more casual in the film to the point where you feel bad for S.H.I.E.L.D. Nobody on Earth even knows about Thanos, but it’s casual knowledge in this film. We get to see his domain and many planets fear him. It’s hard to describe, but it definitely makes the Guardians appear to be on a different level from the Avengers knowledge wise even if they can’t compete in power.

We even learned about the Celestials and we get a really cool action scene involving a planet blowing up. I’ve always wanted to see a planet blow up on screen and this film got to show us this. That’s a visual that I expect to see in future DBZ films and I guess this film beat it to the punch. Skipping this film isn’t a wise move if you want to stay in touch with what is happening in the world.

The fight scenes in the film are definitely some of the better ones in the MCU. We’re not looking at anything like Thor vs Kurse or Captain America vs Winter Soldier yet, but the space fights are really fun. Star Lord’s blaster is pretty effective and we haven’t gotten a lot of gun fights in the series prior to this film. Definitely no space blasters and I was glad to see them appear. I wouldn’t have minded if everyone used guns in the film since the effects made the blaster fights really stand out.

A welcome positive for this film is the light tone that is similar to the Avengers. The film typically has a scene intended to make you laugh every few minutes and the humor is pretty well done. The film doesn’t take itself too seriously and that’s a good thing. It helped to minimize the damage in a negative that is coming up and it also gives the film a lot more replay value than other films that came out this year. (TMNT, Godzilla, Dawn of the Planet of The Apes, Xmen, etc.) It would certainly be a lot easier to watch this film again than any of those.

The light tone is really what helped the film not get hurt too badly by the animal violence. The animal violence guaranteed that I wouldn’t give this film an 8 like Captain America. It wasn’t very bad, but there was one pretty sad scene at the bar. We see an animal eating another one and it’s done for sport. The characters actually don’t mind this and they encourage the barbaric game. There’s also the scene at the very beginning of the film where Star Lord is beating up on a lot of small lizards. That was pretty sad to see since it was completely unnecessary to the plot. We definitely don’t need animal violence in our films and hopefully this doesn’t become more of a trend with Marvel. (I still won’t forget the dog scene in The Incredible Hulk)

I will say that the film did have a little more language than the average MCU film. Mostly, it tended to come from Rocket, but they all chipped in a little. Luckily, we don’t get the line that offers the big word. It’s mostly just a lot of s and a worlds, but they do add up a little more than usual. It was likely to show that these guys were definitely not as heroic as the Avengers, but we already knew that from Star Lord.

Finally, I think the film tried a little too hard to be emotional at some points. “You’re asking us to die” quickly comes to mind as everyone gets serious and it’s a solemn moment. It’s almost inevitable for a film and especially one that is as happy as this one. After all, the heroes have to finally realize the gravity of the situation at some point, which will make things serious. It’s a cost of being a light series, but it’s a light one. The opening scene at the hospital was also pretty sad, but it really didn’t do the film any favors. Why not give the hero a happy origin story instead? What makes the origin a little sadder than usual is the fact that they made sure it was a realistic origin that could happen to anyone before the UFO came. Taking away that scene and one or two others would have allowed the film to keep it’s happy stride and to never look back. I think that would have made the film even better.
The soundtrack for the film is definitely solid. I’ve always been a fan of the classic songs from the 1980’s and beyond. It was a good time to be a listener and they just don’t make songs like they used too. We got a whole bunch of classic songs in the film and I was glad to see that I recognized two of them. The main theme that was seen in all of the trailers and on Star Lord’s MP3 player is easily the best song. Most of the others are pretty solid as well, but that one definitely had what it takes. The tune that Star Lord listens to in the very beginning was pretty good as well.

Naturally, we get an after credits scene in the film. There is a small sort of bonus scene early on, but I barely count it since nothing really happens. The actual after credits scene is another comedy clip so it’s not there to advance the plot, but it is a pretty good one. The novelty of the scene is the best part and while I would have preferred a Thanos vs Ultron fight to set up Avengers 2, this will have to do for now. You should hopefully recognize what the after credits scene means…hopefully.

Now, this film is Disney like Star Wars and it’s the first big space epic in a while. After the similar poster came out, I’m sure that we all quickly thought of Star Wars. It’s definitely worth mentioning that they do have a lot of similarities. We get adaptions/homages/similar circumstances to the Dark Vader and Lord Palpatine plot through Thanos and Ronan. We get a space fight scene where a lot of small ships go for the large one like in Star Wars. Groot is pretty similar to Chewbacca and Star Lord’s relationship to Yondu is identical to Han Solo’s time with Jabba The Hut. Gamora and the main heroine of Star Wars also have some mild similarities as they already had a mission and then the other heroes jump in and wreck her plans while attempting to help. There are other similarities and some of these are naturally coincidences since it’s hard not to adapt them when doing a sci-fi film. It definitely had a Star Wars feel to it though and that’s pretty nice. Star Wars definitely had a lot of good things going for it even if it started to make some mistakes down the road.

Overall, I definitely recommend checking out Guardians of The Galaxy. I love superhero team films because watching the team form is always great. The opening fight scene with the members is pretty great and I definitely place that as my favorite scene. The film is pretty fun to watch and the action scenes are great as well. The film did have some negatives for me, but there aren’t any scenes where you’ll seriously grimace except for the animal violence. This installment can definitely hold its own against the other titles and I’m looking forward to the sequel. We’ll see if Thanos really is one of the major players to face them. Either way, expect a lot of action and excitement along with some more great tunes.

Overall 7/10

Conquest of The Planet of The Apes Review

Posted on August 1, 2014 by dreager1

It’s time for the Apes to return and you can tell that there will be a lot of action in this one based off of the title. That is usually a good thing, but not necessarily for this series. After the last film where the series managed to briefly rise up, this one definitely shot it right back down. Why did this film not succeed when it had so much potential? That’s what we’re about to find out!

The world has changed since the last film and around 10+ years have passed. Dogs and Cats were eliminated from the Earth by a plague and humans decided to take in Apes as pets. (Obviously, they ignored the warnings that this is how the Ape dominion would start) Unfortunately, America then decides to use them as slaves and Milo finds out about this. He switches his name to Caesar and decides to overthrow the humans, but can such a bold conquest really work? That’s the plot for this film. I’ll get into all of the negatives in a moment, but let’s look at the character roster first since it’s so small.

Caesar is the main character of the film and his main goal is to save the Apes. It’s a noble goal, but accomplishing it will be difficult. He starts off by helping the Apes make a mockery of the humans by messing up in their tasks, but it’s not enough. He needs to completely stop their tyrannical rule. Unfortunately, he basically cracks by the end as he decides to destroy all of the humans before enslaving them. It doesn’t look like things will be changing anytime soon and one race will end up enslaved no matter who wins. I also can’t say that I liked Caesar’s plans, but more on that in a minute. Nontheless, Caesar is still better than most of the other apes.

MacDonald is one of the only guys who’s on the heroes side of things. He doesn’t believe in slavery, but there’s not much that he can do about it while in the system. He tries to help out whenever possible, which is good. Unfortunately, it can also be a little sad seeing him since you know that he has no chance of stopping this through peace. War is the only thing that General Breck and his men will understand at this point.

Governor Breck is the main villain of the film. He really believes that the Apes pose a threat to the human race and he really wants to see them enslaved. He’s basically against all Apes and he takes great satisfaction in their imprisonment. He’s a rather petty villain who is definitely not very enjoyable. He needs some more charisma and character development in order to be a good villain. His final speech is also pretty nonsensical as he turns into a philosopher and explains that people only dislike the Apes because they see their dark side in them. I don’t think anyone will really buy that. If only the President was still around to save the day.

Armando is the circus owner from the last film and he’s a good guy. He probably shouldn’t have gone back to meet with the police, but he was basically doomed either way. It’s really Caesar’s fault that things got dicey for Armando, but something had to happen I suppose. Armando was definitely one of the more likable characters in the film and at least he put up a fight against the police. He does have his human rights to think of after all and nobody was going to stop him! The film could have been better if he had lasted a little longer.

The soundtrack definitely isn’t that good. The opening scene is mostly lolz worthy as we get a fairly comedic tune as we see Apes performing all kinds of tasks. A tragic piece of music would have been more appropriate. What’s worse is that the scene takes a very long time to end. It keeps on going and going until you wonder how long this song can actually be. The film finally starts, but it wasn’t a big improvement. Time to see why the film wasn’t that good for me…or rather, why it was pretty bad.

The slavery aspect would definitely be the first part. There’s no way that America would fall so low. Of course, that’s optimistic, but it’s hard to picture America allowing slavery in any form. We just finished getting rid of it so bringing it back for the Apes would not make sense. That was part of the main plot and it was pretty bad. That was definitely a bad sign for the film since the slavery wasn’t going to disappear as the film went on. Maybe a few people would believe that Apes would destroy us all, but certainly not the majority. Only conspirators could possible believe this and it is still taken so seriously.

Another part would be how cruel the people are to the Apes. It doesn’t make economic sense to train them all to do these tasks when they just end up doing it sloppily and are forced to go back for more training. What’s the point of using these Apes for the task? The film explains that they are really useful in some areas, but it never shows us any of them. All we see is the fact that the Apes aren’t really good at any of the tasks because the humans won’t bother tho show them anything. If anything, it takes longer to do everything when you have to worry about apes making a mistake or doing something incorrectly.

Building off of this, the scenes also drag on for too long. We get that the humans are really mean to the Apes so we don’t need to keep on seeing it. At one point, the humans lead Caesar through a lab where we see how the Apes are conditioned. They get practice on how to get beaten up without fighting back, how to get burned to stop being frightened of the fire, and how to get zapped for no real reason except to make them fear humans. These scenes are pretty terrible and they guaranteed that the film was going to get a low rating. The sheer amount of animal violence in the film is off the charts. The Apes don’t typically count as the same kind of animal violence as an average dog or a cat would, but things change in this film. Most of the apes are normal apes now so they are back to totally being animals so all of the scenes are pretty relentless. If you’ve been reading my reviews long enough then you’ll know that animal violence is an instant no no. Viewers shouldn’t have to put up with that and it’s bad enough that Lassie is a fan favorite..

Meanwhile, the acting hasn’t gotten any better. The humans are all right of course, but the Apes still seem very fake. They’ll glare at each other and move really slowly at times for the drama. You almost feel like chuckling when Caesar glares at the Apes from the shadows. The suits definitely need a lot of work, but that kind of work takes time so I wouldn’t expect it to get much better in the sequel. We can hope of course….we can hope.

I also need to criticize Caesar’s military tactics. He’s never fought a war of course, but I expect better out of him. He uses some of the Apes as pawns as he gets many of them to mess up in their duties so they are sent to his base. After they launch the assault, Caesar definitely didn’t count on the villains having guns. The whole army walks right towards them and the complete slaughter of his troops is prevented by the humans hesitating before firing. Most of them still go down quickly and the others only manage to stay upright through plot convenience. The fire plan definitely didn’t do the Apes any wonders. Maybe it’s time for Caesar to step down as leader eh?

By the end, he basically admits that the Apes are doomed for a while and that they’ll have to wait until World War Three to strike again. I guess that means that the Apes involved in this rebellion are probably all doomed. Well, maybe they’ll be able to stay in hiding or something until the tensions die down, but it’ll be tough.

It almost goes without saying that the fight scenes were poorly done as well. We get a lot of Apes tackling humans and vice versa as they wrestle around for a while. The camera makes sure to keep on shifting from side to side and all around so that we get to see many fight scenes instead of focusing on any of them. It becomes rather chaotic and since we can’t root for either side, it’s rather boring. I still don’t buy the fact that any of the Apes lived when the humans had so many guns at the ready. Talk about getting one shotted….

Overall, This is definitely another bad installment in the Apes franchise. It may not have been quite as bad as the second film, but this is certainly open to debate. There was nothing good about this film once again and the characters were unlikable. I liked the circus owner and MacDonald was okay, but they weren’t strong enough to hold up a whole film. The massive amounts of animal violence mixed with the sheer dullness of the film ensured that this would not be an enjoyable experience. I definitely do not recommend checking this film out and you would be better watching a retro episode of the Andy Griffith show. I can only hope that the final installment in this series is better than this one. How can it be worse or even on the same level right? Well, that’s what I thought after the second film…

Overall 1/10

Escape from the Planet of the Apes Review

Posted on July 30, 2014 by dreager1

The Planet of the Apes is back with another film. Surely it can’t be any worse than the first one…right? I can safely say that the series is definitely showing some improvement with this installment. It falls into a few holes, but they would be incredibly hard to avoid. The plot is intriguing, even if it’s a little unnecessary. It’s time for the humans to strike back.

The plot involves three apes who managed to escape the planet before it…met an abrupt end. Sure, that could be a spoiler, but I expect my readers to have seen the last film in the series before reading my review of this one. It just wouldn’t make any sense otherwise right? Back to the plot, the three apes are greeted by the military and they act like normal apes to protect themselves. Unfortunately, the act can’t hold for long when Zira has one of her moments so the two scientists who learn of this (Lewis and Stephanie) decide to show the world. Will the Apes be regarded as friend or foe? They’re about to find out one way or another! (In case I need to clear this up. The Apes have arrived into the past before the Earth blew up and Apes began to rule.

Well, the film already showed signs of improvement from the first one since the setting was better. I’ll take a regular city over a barren wasteland any day. Civilization was finally back and the unfortunate subplots of crazy humans and slavery could be over and done with. Those reasons almost guaranteed that this film would be higher than the last one on principal.

Zira is back and she’s one of the main characters in this film. Unfortunately, I can’t say that she was a very good character. Most of the trouble and problems that arise are really her fault. She talks when the other Apes warned her not too so then the humans find out about it. It’s not like they were even trying to humiliate her or anything. The humans were just testing their intelligence. Then, Zira is tricked into revealing all of the secrets from the future. Her biggest mistake was when she decided to leave her suitcase outside of the hiding place so that the humans could find and destroy them. She’s supposed to be the smart one of the group, but she definitely didn’t look the part in this film.

Milo is the baby who appears in this film. He’s the next generation of Ape you could say and the entire government is after him. He’s still a baby so it’s not like he can do a whole lot. So, I can’t say that he’s an unlikable character, but his final scene isn’t that great. Still, we can’t really judge his character until the next film.

Cornelius is back along with Zira and he’s more of a fighter in this film. He’s definitely more confident and bold as he speaks up against Zira more. He talks to the humans and shows them that he is serious about his work. He definitely overreacted when the humans would use the term monkey though and the scene where he took out the guy holding a tray was intriguing. I don’t see how the guy died from such an attack, but I guess Cornelius is just that tough. He does mess up in the ending though as he goes too far away when looking around the hideout. Not a wise move.

Lewis is the main human of the film or at least as far as the protagonists go. He does his best to help out the Apes, but there’s not much for him to do. He can let the army take him down or he can help the apes in secret. It’s a tough call of course but he ultimately makes the right call. Well…that is pretty arguable since he could have stuck up for them more. He was doomed to lose against politics, but he could have kept on trying until the bitter end. He basically just accepts the end and moves on as the film closes.

Stephanie is certainly not the bravest character out there. She faints when the Apes first begin to speak. Sure, it may have been surprising, but fainting isn’t really the best reaction. She helps out against the cops after that, but that’s about it. She’s a good driver, but she would need more courage for me to be a fan of her.

Dr. Milo doesn’t appear for very long and there’s a good reason for that. He lacks the power needed to keep up with the others. An Ape gets him in a headlock and he can’t break free…so he doesn’t really make it. His role must have been painful for his fans because it’s a very sad way to go out. You’d expect much more of a fight from such a big character. The scene just came so suddenly. At least he gets some hype from the other characters after he is taken out, but it’s not really the same as actually appearing right?

The President was definitely my favorite character. He got to call the shots while drinking his coffee and he never let anything slide. This was a man who was comfortable with wielding large amounts of power and nobody could corrupt him. Unfortunately, underlings tend to get away with a lot when the leader is so far away. The President is always relaxing so he doesn’t really know what’s going on. He still gives it his all though.

Otto is the main villain of the film and he really makes sure that the apes know this. He’s worried that the apes are going to enslave the humans so they must be stopped. Well, I’ll talk more about this in a minute, but he’s definitely an exaggerated character. He should have been locked up right away, but nobody suspected just how dangerous he was until it was too late. He gets away with a whole lot of shooting before he’s finally hit. Then the army finishes the job for him. I can definitely say that Otto doesn’t make for a good villain.

The soundtrack for the film definitely isn’t very good. The tunes just don’t make a lot of sense and they can get repetitive very quickly. The music definitely isn’t as action packed as something like Final Wars, but I suppose that it’ll have to do. It didn’t exactly help the film, but it’s not like the themes could hurt it all that much.

The main offense that I have with this film is that it’s just boring. There aren’t really any moments where you’ll stand up and cheer or even crack a smile. You’re just watching the film in awkward silence as you glance at your watch from time to time. The film isn’t even that long, but it takes a while for anything to happen. In that sense, it definitely rivals the Lord of The Rings/Hobbit.

The climax is also contains less action than usual. It’s really a one on one gunfight, but it’s not official. By that, I mean that one guy shoots someone and then someone else shoots him from behind. I’ve seen more action in My Little Pony and Scooby Doo. The film definitely ends on a low note. The ending was definitely not very enjoyable. Let’s just say that you can probably guess what happens based on the ending of the last film. It’s pretty similar.

The final, final scene is still pretty sad as well. We have someone yelling out a name…over and over and over again. It keeps on going once the screen has gone dark as well. It’s an example of a scene that could have been interesting, but ended up getting dragged on for far too long. Although, the final 20 minutes or so was all pretty underwhelming.

I also think that one of the things that hurts the film is how unbelievable some of the parts are. There’s no way Apes would ever enslave humanity and this guy shouldn’t really believe it. It’s no better than a fortune teller telling them that something will happen in the future. Unfortunately, the Judge and Juries do agree with him to an extent and announce that the baby must be destroyed. That’s rather crude for the United States. So much for Freedom and Independence. Also, I like to think that the general populace would have been able to help them or to at least find out the truth about what the government did. It shouldn’t be too hard to piece the puzzles together.

One thing that I can’t forget to mention is how bad the acting is. Especially for the Apes as their facial expressions always seem fake. They’ll randomly glare at people or engage in eye contact for a very long time. It’s so bad that it can be funny at times. Special effects were limited at the time and I can understand that, but it still doesn’t look very good. This is something that the series likely won’t get much better at until the newer films, but I can hope.

Overall, This film was definitely a step up from the last one. It’s a world of difference in quality and this one definitely wasn’t unbearable to watch. It’s really just boring, which is still a pretty big crime for a film, but it could be worse. What the film really needed was a better ending and better characters. Zira proved that the apes couldn’t be trusted thanks to her sadistic experiments and the humans weren’t any better as they became paranoid very quickly. I can’t say that I’m a fan of the Apes franchise even after this film, but it was certainly an improvement. Hopefully the sequel can fix these issues and gives us a better soundtrack as well. This review wasn’t very long because the film itself was pretty uneventful. It didn’t make too many errors, but it didn’t really try. The first half was just about the Apes having fun and then the ending is where things go south for them. The court scenes were intriguing, although they could have been handled much better. I would recommend watching Godzilla vs King Kong instead of this film though since King Kong makes for a hardcore fighter and the action scenes can be pretty intense.

Overall 3/10

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