Ocean’s Thirteen Review

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Ocean’s 11 is a classic film that has been remade and even gotten sequels over the years. Ocean’s 13 is the second sequel in this continuity and it is a fun adventure. I was used to the characters a little more than I had been for the first two installments, which could be why I ended up enjoying it more than I thought that I would. It is hard to say whether it beats the original or not. I am inclined to say that it is not as good, but it is very close. Take away one unfortunate subplot and this one has a real chance at 1st.

The film starts off with the heroes working small jobs while one of their members makes a legitimate deal with a new character on a new gambling casino. The heroes warned him that the casino owner tend to double cross everyone, but the warnings do not stop the inevitable from happening. Now that he is in a coma, the heroes decide to band together one last time to avenge their comrade by bankrupting the casino. It will be tough, but they do have some money to burn!

The premise is very good and watching the heroes band together once more should be nostalgic. It should definitely be noted that these guys still aren’t very heroic. One of them is robbing a vault as the film starts and judging by how rich all of the members are, they can’t be on the up and up. It’s intense to see them constantly throwing millions around. It’s actually a good thing in the sense that it makes the film more realistic even if it means that they can’t be completely heroic. There would be no way for them to use their plan if they didn’t have such a large amount of money on their end. By the end, they’re all essentially broke, but the ending probably means that they will have a lot of spending money once more. So, you could say that they’ve practically been reset to the beginning of the film.

Let’s get the unfortunate subplot out of the way first. One of the components of the plan revolves around tricking the villain’s right hand woman into taking one of the heroes into the vault room so that he could steal the diamonds. They use a strong cologne that messes with her mind and acts as a cupid type of weapon. Ignoring that the plot hax was downright unbelievable in those scenes and that they had no trouble getting into the vault room (Guards must have been panicking or something) there were better ways that they could have handled this. Just rushing into the room would have been my personal favorite. It may have been a little less believable, but it would have taken out the romance aspect that hurt this film so it would definitely be worth it. The heroes are basically just taking advantage of the lady and that’s definitely not cool.

The heroes mention from the start that their plan will have collateral damage and they weren’t kidding. By causing the company to lose billions of dollars (Not quite bankrupt, but it’s hard to see the casino ultimately staying alive) they probably costs dozens of workers their jobs. One reviewer had a pretty awful day and people almost got hurt from the tremors. I do give the heroes props for making things all right between them and the reviewer. The review guy was pretty sympathetic during the film and his plight was rather depressing and painful. The ending definitely makes things better and I was glad that the film did that since the ending would have been pretty sad otherwise. It was the ending that we needed.

We get some guest stars in this film, which was pretty neat as well. The main villain of the second film randomly shows up to try and steal the diamonds from the heroes, but they dismiss him rather quickly. One of their big rivals/antagonists also gets a decently large role as the heroes are forced to ask for his help when they are running out of money. He warns them that their lives will be over if they double cross him and he also forces them to steal the jewels from the casino in addition to their normal plans. The main characters manage to get back at him during the ending. It made for a pretty fun dynamic.

The main thing to consider here is if you enjoy dialogue a lot. The film is really centered around that as there are no actual fights in this film. It’s all about outsmarting the opponents and winning in a peaceful way. The dialogue is engaging though so that shouldn’t be a problem. Watching them make the plans is cool and the heroes already have a good idea of how to start at the beginning of the film. They’ve just run into 2 problems that they spend most of the film trying to correct. Again, it’s an extremely detailed plan that runs on so much luck that it would never work in real life, but it’s still cool to see them give it a whirl. I appreciate the fact that the writers still made the effort of creating such a thorough plan.

As for the actual cast, most of the main characters are likable, but certainly not all of them. Ocean makes for a good commander and Rusty is pretty dependable. I don’t care for the guy in the Mexico plot (That one had a happy ending as well, which is good since it would have been pretty annoying otherwise) or the one who never bothers to speak in English even though he understands it rather well. Lenny is easily one of my least favorite members. I liked the guy who managed to get a table in the casino. Now he could act (in film) as he tricked the owner into realizing his greatness. He’s the kind of guy who’s just so charismatic that it’s hard to stop him. Unfortunately, he has his less impressive moments, which ends up hurting his overall rating. Most of the other members are just there so they don’t really impact the plot all that much.

Overall, Ocean’s Thirteen is a pretty good film, but it does suffer from the unnecessary romance plot. The writing is still pretty good on the whole and the film is enjoyable so I would still recommend it. It may not beat the original, but as far as sequels go, it is definitely not bad. It holds true to what the series is all about and watching the heroes try to perform such a tricky heist is always amusing. Perhaps not all that realistic, but amusing nonetheless. It’s one of those films where a reboot/remake would probably be a lot of fun, but it’s hard to see it being quite as good. The twists in this film were all done really well and that’s where the new film would have a tough time topping it without going overboard.

Overall 6/10

The Picture of Dorian Gray (1945) Review

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It’s time to look at one of the adaptions for Dorian Grey. This is the 1945 film and this was at an era where there were dozens of great films. Typically, the writing for films in the 40’s-60’s was very engaging and the dialogue was enough to keep you glued to the seat. For some reason, that didn’t work here and I did not care for this film, but at least the visuals still make it easy to see what is happening. Let’s see why this film couldn’t bring in a retro victory.

The film follows a man named Dorian Gray and he wants someone to make a portrait of him. This happens and he wishes that the painting could age instead of him. This results in Gray obtaining immortality so now he can live forever or it actually means that his looks do not age while he still does on the inside. I’m inclined to think that it is the former, but I suppose that you can still make a case for both. Now that he is immortal….what will he do next?

I feel like the film didn’t know what to do at that point. Once he became immortal, Gray had no real ambitions and he just started to get psychotic as the film went on. Destroying those who got in his way was something that he did for no real reason and let’s not forget the moments of black mail. It’s definitely very hard to actually find Dorian Gray to be a likable character amidst all of this and no matter how sympathetic he tries to be at the end, it doesn’t work. We don’t get a reason to believe that he could have been a changed person since his random episodes during the film make trusting him a little difficult.

When you have a film where the lead character is not interesting or likable, then you’re bound to run into some problems. As I mentioned earlier, I typically enjoy the back and forth dialogue in these kinds of films, but it didn’t work this time. The characters weren’t very engaging and neither was the plot so most of the dialogue just felt like filler that never went anywhere. Listening to the characters talk about their own view on ethics may be intriguing, but it won’t do anything for you.

It should also be noted that the film starts off on a really low note with a butterfly being destroyed in one of the opening scenes. It’s a scene like that, which quickly takes you out of a film and it’s hard to really enjoy it. If a film is good enough, it can still rise above that and get a decent rating, but when a film is already intended to be a little bleak and uneventful…this does not help its case as the event will stay fresh in your memory. Another character doesn’t help his case after that as he tries to destroy another animal and ends up destroying a human instead. It was an accident of course, but it shows why shooting for sport is definitely not a good hobby.

The film is very old so the violence isn’t terrible. We get a quick death by stabbing that is mostly seen through a silhouette, but the most gruesome part of the film is easily the painting. The whole film is in black and white aside from the painting, which is in color. This is used to show us just how grotesque the main character is, but the film goes way too far. Between all of the blood that is on the painting and the poor condition of the man’s body, it’s just pretty gross to look at. We could have gotten the same impression without the blood of the ugly bits by just making the guys eyes black or throwing some horns on. As it stands, you’ll just want to look away whenever the painting actually appears.

One of the main things that also hurt the film is that it’s one of those movies that will make you start to feel sleepy as you watch it. That’s because you go through long periods of time where nothing happens like in the Hobbit or LOTR films. It all goes back to the fact that there isn’t really a plot once Gray becomes immortal. It’s basically just him walking around and discovering that being immortal is not a whole lot of fun. Typically, it might have been, but he did sell his soul to become immortal so the cost was too great for him.

At the very least, the message is pretty good since the film shows that selling your soul for any price is never worth it. Immortality and riches are meaningless if you’re just going to burn away in hell for an eternity afterwards. Let’s face it, even if you are immortal, you’ll be taken out eventually once people find out. In the film, nobody really seems concerned that Gray always looks the same and they seem to think that he just has some kind of secret, but 50 years from then, you can bet that the government and many villains would be getting suspicious. Gray made the wrong move and he definitely paid for it throughout the film.

Overall, The Picture of Dorian Gray is definitely not one of the better films. From the 40’s titles that I’ve seen, it very well could be the worst, but I can’t say that with 100% certainty. The film just isn’t very interesting and the grotesque painting coupled with the animal violence really hurt it. There are also no real likable characters since most of them are corrupt or just decide to take the easy way out of situations. It’s a film that would work better if the immortality bit was just a side plot and the real story involved some kind of adventure of something. They definitely need to add some more meat to the story. I definitely would not recommend this film and if you want to see something that’s retro, check out the old Superman shorts of one of the Bogart and Bacall films. Then you’ll see how action can really help a story.

Overall 3/10

The Fast and The Furious Review

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The Fast and the Furious is a film series that many are familiar with at this point. It is getting close to 10 films at this point and the films are earning more and more money as they go on. The latter ones look pretty exciting, but this film doesn’t exactly start the series on a high note. Some cool races to be sure, but it was lacking in other areas.

There are many people engaged in underground racing and the FBI sends an agent in. The agent’s name is Brian and he must gain the trust of these outlaws and find some proof so they could be locked away. As serious as the underground racing is, the mysterious attacks on truck drivers is even worse. Unfortunately, the agent begins to develop feelings for one of the characters and starts to become friends with the boss, Dominic. Brian may be in a little too deep now!

It is a pretty good premise…well, mostly anyway. The beginning of the film feels like a level from Need For Speed as the newcomer challenges the pros so that he can earn some respect. The night race is pretty good. The visuals are not quite as exciting as its counterparts in Speed Racer and Need For Speed, but this is only the first film so it will likely improve as the series goes on. The races are the selling point of the series after all. If the film had kept that as a focus then it could have been really good, unfortunately that didn’t happen.

The film really suffers from the fanservice and unnecessary scenes of romance/physical pleasure. Most of the characters are in the slums area and they hang out with many shady characters. A lot of attention is drawn to the skimpy attire that the characters wear and it’s all in rather poor taste. This may be underground racing, but I would prefer the film to place the emphasis on the dangerous racing than on the background characters. This is an obstacle that the film never gets around. It simply keeps popping up over and over again.

The main character isn’t likable either as a result since he quickly succumbs to a one night stand. Brian likes the character, but if she is that easy then he should probably reconsider the situation. His final decision is also one that I don’t agree with. Naturally, the film tried to make Dominic sympathetic, but he was still guilty. Do the crime and then do the time. He shouldn’t be left off the hook so easily just because he experienced a sad event back in the day. As long as he stays in such a troubled environment, problems will continue to occur around him. Of course, these two characters were still a lot better than most of the supporting characters, but that isn’t saying a whole lot. None of them were actually likable after all.

The language wasn’t as much of a problem as I had expected given how the characters were interacting. There is still some there, but it was not abundant enough to really warrant much of a warning. You will likely forget about it by the end. The film isn’t very violent either although the scene where the villains force someone to swallow motor oil is a little intense. A guy also gets stuck to a truck, which makes his arm get pretty injured. By and large, it’s still nothing worse than the average action film. Actually, it turns out that the film does have quite a bit of language. With 3 ultimately bad words and a high number of others, the language does actually work against the film. I saw the TV version, which edited out most of the language, but if you end up watching it on DVD or somewhere where the language is kept in, then I deduct the rating to a 2 and definitely advise you to stay away from this title. Check out a good Pac Man ep for fun or some Speed Racer cartoons if you want another racing dvd.

As this is a film with a lot of car action, there is bound to be a lot of plot hax. Driving at high speeds without hitting any other cars when there are a lot of blind turns. The cops crash a lot of course. The biggest scene does not involve a race though, it was the battle against the truck driver. With his shotgun, the heroes should have been doomed from the start. He had a lot of point blank opportunities to hit them and simply breaking would have saved him several times. At least the truck driver won in the final battle, but the casualties would likely have been a lot higher. The first encounter was also pretty suspect as the driver just stood there and watched as he got pwned. I hope that they would put up a better fight if this happened in real life.

The government hangs out in the shadows as you would expect and they show that merely having a lot of resources is not always good enough to solve the case. They only have one special agent on the field so they really are running in blind the entire time. They talk a pretty good game and it is amusing to see their bravado in the midst of such a tricky situation, but the ultimate irony is that they were actually right from the start this time. They pegged it on Dominic from the very beginning and the main character is the one who tried to divert suspicion away from him. So, if you ever wanted to see the government look sort of smart in a film like this…this could be your big chance.

The soundtrack is very fast and lively, but it could still be better. This is one of those times where instrumental just works better. The lyrics are just distracting and while you probably won’t even know what they are saying, it would be for the best if they had just left then out. The actual rhythms certainly work well with the film though.

Overall, The Fast and the Furious is a film that could have been much better than it was. It was plagued by many of the problems that arise in the average film, but to a higher degree than you would expect. The film tries a little too hard to depict how the slums look and goes overboard on making every character unlikable. The racing scenes are typically a lot of fun, but we only get 2 real races in the film. There are a lot of scenes that involve cars in other ways, but I would have liked some more pure races. I am confident that the series will improve and I recommend just taking a pass on this title. If you want some good races, then check out Speed Racer!

Overall 3/10

Ghostbusters II Review

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Well, the Ghostbusters are back in town and they definitely mean business! They may have taken down the Marshmallow Man last time, but the new villains attack on a more personal level. The heroes are already down and out from the last film so this could get dangerous for them. Unfortunately, this film suffers from most of the flaws of the first film and is less funny. It’s definitely a mixed bag here.

So, The Ghostbusters have once again been branded as a group of guys who don’t know what they are doing. People don’t respect them anymore and that’s never a good thing. Peter is still flirting with Dana despite being gone for so long and the other Ghostbusters have been reduced to appearing at parties. These are dark times for the heroes, but they are forced to come together again when a mysterious incident puts Dana’s baby in danger. The heroes know that it’s probably the work of a ghost somewhere, but proving that will be difficult. Little do they know that the villain is close to home!

One of the problems with this film is that nothing really happens for the majority of the film. There is no sense of danger or plot as the heroes just walk around making jokes. The villain’s plan doesn’t make a whole lot of sense since he will be vulnerable for at least 10-20 years. See, the villain is currently inside of a painting and he wants to possess the baby’s body so that he can live again. The problem is that he’ll still be a baby….so it’s not a great plan. The villain doesn’t really have any character and he’s not a threat so we can safely ignore him.

The film also gives us a rather underwhelming minion in the form of Janosz. He can’t fight and he likes Dana so he is another flirt that we didn’t need. Anytime he is on screen is a time for you to go stretch your legs. This is actually one of those films where you can easily fall asleep if you aren’t careful so you’ll want to stay vigilant to stop this from happening.

The main characters are all still in character. Peter still spends too much time cracking jokes and mocking his teammates to actually be a good ghost buster and the other two main members don’t tend to take the initiative in a case. They will always be Peter’s subordinates even if they try to take charge. One of the Ghostbusters, Winston, tends to appear and disappear with no real reason. It’s like the writers weren’t sure whether they should keep him in the film or not so his appearances are rather sporadic. He tends to look good while on screen and he’s actually the best member of the 4, but he doesn’t feel as important to the plot as he could have been.

Unfortunately, we get a subplot with Louis and Janine as they continue to be two characters who are hard to watch. They add the romance plot to this film (Alongside Dana and Peter’s plot) and their scenes are all rather terrible. They definitely make it hard to really enjoy the film and taking them out altogether would have been a great move on the film’s part. They just don’t add anything to the adventure.

I still like the main Ghostbuster theme, but I’m not crazy about the other themes and remixes that are added to this film. They simply aren’t as catchy or entertaining. They’re not that bad I suppose, but I would have been content with the film just choosing to spam the main theme over and over. It’s almost as catchy as the Men in Black theme and that’s saying something!

Now, we looked at most of the negatives in the film so now let’s look at some positives aside from the soundtrack. One positive is the move that the Mayor’s right hand man made towards the end of the film. The Ghostbusters were threatening to tell the press about the ooze so the guy told them that he knew someone downtown who would be interested in the story. The Ghostbusters figured that they could spend a few minutes, but then they were quickly thrown into the psych ward and locked up in straight jackets. That was pretty rich and it was fun to see them taken down so quickly. I always like when someone pulls a fast one like that. Naturally, Peter quickly tried to convince the men there that the other Ghostbusters were crazy since his own safety must always come first.

Another fun scene is the court case. I always love those moments and this was no exception as the Judge was pretty biased against the heroes from the start. That’s what I like to see and the heroes put up a decent defense, but they were simply doomed from the start. Peter gets to almost turn the tides when he says the classic “Who you gonna call” line, but he is eventually shut down. Still, that was a pretty fun case.

Finally, it was cool to see how Peter had moved on from the Ghostbusters gig and now had his own show. That’s pretty impressive considering how he is not typically seen as a team player. He was able to put up a pretty good facade of interest as he listened to two people discuss how the Earth was going to end soon. Nothing fazes Peter and while he has many undesirable qualities, at least he is always ready with a witty one liner. This is why he can’t be stopped.

That’s about it for positives. The film can be funny at times, but it just feels like this film was rushed out without as much inspiration as the first one. They really should have brought back the Marshmallow Man so that we could have had more excitement. Speeding up the plot would have also been a good idea since nothing really happens until the very end of the film. Audiences don’t want to wait that long and neither do I.

Overall, I can’t say that I really recommend this Ghostbusters title. If you want to see the legendary franchise, just check out the first film. This one gets distracted by romance way too often and the villains are pretty bad. They certainly don’t strike fear into the hearts of many and they manage to be uninteresting as well, which is not a good mix. Their plan was even worse and the heroes didn’t look as noble as they should have. Yes, I highly recommend watching the original Men in Black instead.

Overall 5/10

12 Rounds Review

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Time to look at a film that is fairly recent, but fell under my radar. I definitely had not heard of this film until I saw it and the plot is intriguing. It’s one of those films that has the potential to be pretty interesting or a train wreck. Luckily, it turned out to be the former and 12 Rounds was better than I had expected it to be. The film was handled pretty well.

The main character is named Danny and he works for the police. He does his usual nightly patrols with his partner, Hank, when they are roped into preventing an international fugitive from getting away. They go on the trail and after an intense chase scene, Danny is able to apprehend the man. What he didn’t expect was for a truck to run over the villain’s ally. Miles (the villain) swears revenge on Danny as he is taken into custody. One year later, he returns and kidnaps Molly. This is now personal for Danny and the only way for him to rescue her will be to play the “12 Rounds” game. He has to complete 12 challenges in time if he wants to win her back and will Miles really keep his word? It’s a race against time now!

12 Rounds keeps up a very quick pace throughout the film. The action never slows down and it works out pretty well for the film. Danny never gets a break since the rounds always start one after the other and he has to run around all day. The film starts in the morning and ends by the time it is nightfall. There are certainly a lot of action scenes to be found here, but they are typically not fight scenes. An example of one of the action scenes is Danny trying to stop a runaway trolley.

The film has a surprisingly high body count. The deaths are usually expected once the scene is coming close, but you may not have expected some of the characters to go when you first start the film. Danny may still be able to save Molly if he completes the 12 Rounds, but he can say good bye to many bystanders and one of his friends. It’s definitely an easy way to lose morale during the tournament and Danny has his doubts at times, but he keeps on going. There’s not much more that he can do.

The plot twist at the end is a little preposterous though. Let’s just say that the 12 Rounds were planned out very carefully to the point where the villain has to be a super genius. We do get a quick scene to show that he is really smart, but it’s a little over done here. All of Danny’s actions were predicted as well as the Police and the FBI. The plan also revolves around the villain being able to outshoot quite a few of the local cops and he is naturally able to best them with ease. This will certainly stretch your imagination a little bit…that’s for sure.

Danny makes for a pretty good main character. He’s actually almost perfect as he is very smart and a good athlete. He’ll do just about anything to save Molly while he also makes sure to help out the innocents along the way. He’s virtually perfect, which may make some fans wish that he had more character development, but being the ultimate hero is a personality in and of itself. He definitely looks really good here and you can’t blame him for the train hitting one of the villains seeing as how she ran into it. He took the whole situation pretty well.

Miles is a pretty decent villain. Naturally, he blames Danny for everything so he breaks out of jail and sets up one of the most elaborate schemes in cinema history. He’s nothing special when it comes to a fight so he has to rely on his intellect. He never goes too far, which is why I don’t mind him as a villain. He wants revenge and he never loses sight of that objective. Molly is a decent heroine and she also takes the situation as well as she can. I do have to question how she was taken out so easily while on the boat though since there was a lot of security around and someone should have noticed something. That whole scene was definitely a little unbelievable and I have a feeling that it was off screen because there was no believable way to show it.

Luckily, the film ducks the animal violence section twice. Danny’s pet dog makes it outside of the house before it blows up and the guard dog from one of the neighbors steals Danny’s gun without letting the hero get any hits in. I was certainly glad to see that since it proves hat the film knows what it needs to do to continue being a good film. A scene with animal violence would have definitely cost it a positive rating and a 5 would have been the best that it could have hoped for.

12 Rounds can certainly be pretty sad at times when you know that someone is about to be written out. The elevator scene was a little hard to believe though as I think that the main should have been able to get up to grab onto the window with Danny. He was overweight and tired, but when your life is on the line, I imagine that he should have been able to put in the extra effort. The partner of Danny also looked pretty bad during his subplot. He finally locates the villain and allows him to escape so that he can tail the guy. I don’t see how anyone thought that this could possibly be a good idea since they immediately lose him. The hero only has time to use one last insult before getting destroyed.

The writing is pretty decent although the writer must love a certain swear word. It’s always the one that’s used for emphasis when the hero is mocking the villain. “I guess you weren’t in the plans….._____” is something that one of the heroes says. They always finis the sentence and let a little dramatic pause slip by before saying the true insult. It’s rather unnecessary and the language issues don’t actually pop up that often, it’s just notable that the word is always used in that fashion.

Seeing as how there aren’t many fight scenes, the film isn’t that violent. The scene where the villain dies in the beginning is a little intense, but then things soften up for the rest of the film. The final fight between Danny and the main villain is pretty tame with the occasional stab thrown in. I have to say that Danny was pretty disappointing in that fight though. He naturally punches the villain and then assumes that e’s down for the count. I don’t see how you can possibly just turn away from the villain considering the circumstances. That kind of thing just doesn’t happen.

This doesn’t affect the rating since a little plot hax is expected from every film, but the very ending is a little much. The heroes jump from a helicopter into a swimming pool and the pool happens to be deep enough for them not to get injured. Moreover, they time the jump perfectly and their jump didn’t make them hit the rotors. I don’t know about you, but the rotors are why I could never jump from one. I’d slide off of one, but jumping is out of the question. The opening scene where Danny chases the villains is also a bit much as Danny has apparently memorized the neighborhood like the back of his hand to he goes through a lot of shortcuts and jumps through fences while keeping track of the speeding car. I don’t really see this happening to be honest.

The film can be sad at times, but it’s also a pretty fun blockbuster to watch. As I mentioned, the action is really nonstop and the film never goes too far to show us how evil the villain is. He kidnaps Molly and destroys a lot of people, but it’s all done in a reasonable way. This lets us feel free to just enjoy the adventure. Some of the challenges are certainly more interesting than others, but they all can’t be equal right? This is definitely a good film.

Overall, 12 Rounds was certainly better than I had expected. It was tough deciding whether to give it a 6 or a 7 by the end. I narrowly ended up going with the former, but you can certainly make a case for either rating. The concept is pretty cool and the execution of it was satisfactory. It was fun watching Danny tackle the 12 Rounds and the film didn’t fall into many holes. There’s some slight fanservice in one scene and the romance can be pretty cringe worthy thanks to some of the camera angles early on. Those are really some of the only negatives in the film. It’s a pretty good adventure and I recommend checking it out if you are in the mood for a thriller. Who doesn’t want to see John Cena take on a few challenges?!

Overall 6/10

King Kong Review

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It’s time to look at one of the oldest films that I have ever seen. This came out in 1933 so even I had not been born yet. This was also before Godzilla’s debut yet so we didn’t know what a true Kaiju was like at the time. A giant Ape is still pretty creative I suppose…and he makes for an intriguing beast. The film definitely suffers from too much animal violence, but it made for a starting point to the monster era.

A film producer is looking for a heroine to star in his new action film. He’s going on a very dangerous quest to the filming location and he won’t even tell the crew where they are headed. Naturally, most people want nothing to do with him, but he eventually finds a lady who was attempting to rob a merchant. She agrees to go with him and they set off for Skull Island. An all power being is located there by the name of Kong…King Kong! The crew will have to subdue him if they’re going to get this movie underway so the fight of their lives begins!

It’s an old film so the writing is expected to be pretty strong, but I wasn’t as crazy about it as I usually am. It’s probably the fact that the main characters aren’t all that interesting. The main guy who becomes the love interest for the heroine is pretty rude the whole time so it’s a bit of a stretch when he finally decides to play the hero. I can’t forget all of the insults so easily and he’s the kind of sexist character that we try to forget from those days. The producer of the film isn’t bad and he’s definitely pretty confident. That being said, the movie is more important to him than Kong’s health so he definitely takes a shot to his character there. We get glimpses of how the film would be without King Kong during the cilmax when everyone arrives for the show. Ironically, it would probably get a higher score since it has potential as a stage thriller, but it wasn’t in the cards. The main heroine is decent, but she’s not great either as she falls into the romance trap with someone who had been insulting her mere minutes earlier. He does try to save her life on several occasions, but she should have placed him in the friend zone. Considering that the director saved her, it makes sense that she would be willing to be in such a dangerous movie, but she shouldn’t have stayed next to the edge while on the boat. Ah well, she was not as fun as the director, but she was better than the main guy.

King Kong is naturally the big character in this production. He’s featured as the antagonist, but he’s mostly just your average animal. He does what he can to survive, but he doesn’t have much of a concept on good or evil. He destroys his enemies and does what he wants with his life. He naturally starts to like the main heroine and he’s famous for that at this point. You’ll feel bad for him when the army is blasting away at him and you’ll feel bad for the humans and animals that he destroys. I definitely don’t like King Kong and I never had. He’s simply not one of the better monsters out there and monkeys happen to be one of my least favorite animals. It would have been hard for this film to have changed that anyway, but I’m glad that he gave it his all. It is also good that he escaped the chains at the end since being a prisoner would have been a cruel fate.

The main thing that really hurts the film is the excessive animal violence. You simply cannot get away from this negative and it comes back to bite you every time. A dinosaur gets violently defeated and likewise with a cool Rodan monster. The snake is also injured and you’ll even feel bad for King Kong when he’s defeated. This guarenteed that the film would certainly get a negative score and while I’ll still give it a higher one than a 2 (Which would be slightly excessive) it was not going to get up to a 5 or a 4. Animal Violence is something that we have to avoid at any cost and King Kong simply couldn’t get past that.

It’s why the sequels don’t have a lot of hope either. The T Rex scene is famous and I’m confident that it is in both of the upcoming films. With updated graphics, the fights could be even worse. This film is about 2 hours, but it’ll definitely feel pretty long as you enter the second half. It only drags on at some points though as the battle in the Jungle is pretty fun and I do like the climax. It’s more towards the beginning of the middle where it drags for a while. That’s forgivable though since the film is expected to have some slow moments. (Get ready for the 3 and a half hour remake…)

The human scenes aren’t bad, but they aren’t extremely entertaining either. The captain of the ship was nice enough and he did a good job of guarding against the enemies. I don’t really care for the extremely rushed romance between the main heroine and the sailor though as it is another case of love at first sight, which I don’t buy into. The humans definitely look pretty corrupt as they are actually proud of the fact that they turned King Kong from a king into a captive. It’s something that you would hope the heroes didn’t take pride in. Apparently, money is what’s important to them so they don’t care about Kong’s well being. Likewise with all of the people in the audience of course.

The film is just pretty tragic and that’s one of the main reasons why it couldn’t be as great as Godzilla or the other big monster films. Take away the animal violence and this film would instantly be a whole lot better. King Kong being a captive was sad, but he did break free so that was good. He got to get his hits in before they finally mowed him down. At least he would end up returning in Godzilla vs King Kong about 20 years later.

Overall, King Kong is one of those classics that isn’t truly great. Without our nostalgia glasses I don’t think that it holds weight, but we know that we cannot get rid of the glasses. They are why I still see the original TMNT game for Gamecube as an exceptional title of epic proportions and why Super Smash Bros Melee will always have my fondest memories for any video game. I saw Godzilla first and I have a feeling that it will always outrank King Kong. Kong’s just at a disadvantage since he’s a real animal and he’s not even close to Godzilla’s size. He is also not immune to bullets so that should end the debate against Godzilla right there. Fans of the old monster films may enjoy this one, but definitely not if you don’t like animal violence. I’d recommend the original Godzilla film instead as it is much better.

Overall 3/10

The Bourne Legacy Review

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It’s time to take a look at the final Bourne film…the final one at the moment anyway. They couldn’t get Matt Damon back so this installment is really a side story that gets to cross with the main one at times. The new hero naturally doesn’t get to meet Jason Bourne, but we do get clips from that film from time to time. They’ll remind you of why the trilogy was a lot better than this one. Ignoring the beginning, this one did start to develop as the film went on, but it missed out on its potential thanks to that.

Aaron is travelling across a snowy mountain in the subplot when the film begins. He meets up with someone who appears to be from the program and he tries to get some colorful pills from the guy. Just as they are beginning to bond, a plane destroys his comrade. Aaron knows that something is up, but the most important thing is that he needs more pills or he could break. He saves a scientist from her imminent destruction and they decide to team up to cure him. By the end, this plot becomes the main one and the main one from the beginning turns into the subplot.

In the other plot, the government is worried about how Jason Bourne has given them the slip. Thanks to a well placed Youtube video, they are also in danger of losing just about everything. They will have to shut down their projects and tie up all loose ends..like a certain main character. They attempt to assassinate Aaron throughout the film and they even go as far as to unleash a certain project on the hero. “It’s untested sir” is basically the reaction from the agents who aren’t in the know, but they are overruled.

The main thing that made it pretty hard to enjoy the film for a while is the opening plot on the mountain. It naturally involves Aaron cooking animals and messing with the wolves. Starting a film out with a lot of animal violence is like throwing a pick six in Football or losing to a level 1 computer in Super Smash Bros. It destroys morale and the director/writer did a pretty bad job there. You need to start a film off on a good note if it is to succeed. The film gets better as it goes along, but a start like that is something that you want to avoid.

The first hour to an hour and a half also feel like a side story. There is almost no plot (Technically, there is always a plot, but it’s just not handled well and it feels like filler) for quite a long time so you don’t really care about what’s happening. It’s like a Summer Blockbuster where you just keep the explosions. The film took a very long time to pick up steam and I was probably still salty (Love that saying) about the wolf scenes from the intro.

The climax is also not great. It’s another film (Like Taken 2) that decides to have the climax in more a less developed area. Instead of fighting among skyscrapers and large buildings during rush hour, the heroes are on their motorcycles trying not to hit any passerby as they have a bumper car race with the enemy. This means that we don’t actually get to have a final hand to hand battle like you would have expected. I definitely wasn’t crazy about the climax and maybe I’ve just seen too many chase scenes lately. They work in something like Tron, but they can get repetitive if used too much. Shorten the race and throw in a little fight. That’s what I would have done. Another reason why I wasn’t crazy about the location is that it’s really hot over there so the characters are constantly sweating. I am against the heat in real life and in fiction (Although not necessarily the Basketball team) and I always prefer a location that is nice and cool. Somewhere..like New York City or Canada.

Aaron is not my favorite main character, but he tries to be cool. The problem is that he’s written to be very similar as Jason Bourne and he just isn’t as cool. On the plus side, he keeps things professional with the scientist and he pushes himself to the limit so that he can continue to fight and stop the bad guys. His dependence on the pills was definitely a weakness for him, but at least he is helping his country…maybe. He has a history that led to him having doubts in the program, but we never actually see what happened. In theory, we’ll find out in the next film I suppose. He’s not a bad character, but he’s just really generic. In case you were wondering, I’d definitely take Jason Bourne in a fight over this guy. Aaron would be outclassed even though his physical stats are similar. He just doesn’t have the wit and battle instinct that Jason Bourne possesses.

Marta is a good heroine although she sometimes panics a little too much. The villains almost overpowered her because she was so shocked that she didn’t really have time to react to what they were doing. Dodging the guy with the gun was definitely a good move and she does help Aaron during some of the fights. So, she may have been pretty panicked when she first appeared, but she learns to go with the flow as the film goes on. She definitely became a capable character and she was definitely pretty good.

The villains from the government are pretty interesting even if they are all talk. Norton’s character is definitely the best one since he seems to understand the big picture more than the others and his acting just works well for the role. It’s too bad that the characters basically vanish after a while so that they can be ready for the next true Jason Bourne adventure. The hyped villain who appears in the climax is definitely underwhelming though and I was certainly not impressed with him. He survives a few gunshots so that’s a good feat I suppose.

There isn’t much of a soundtrack in this film or there aren’t any tunes that you will remember anyway. It’s just that kind of movie, but there are a lot of action scenes so you will be okay as you watch the film. The action scenes are consistently good when they do appear and it’s why I wouldn’t have minded some more hand to hand scenes. We don’t need excessive motions like the Zod snap or the Taken pressure attacks. As long as the character can throw a good punch or a nifty block, you’ll typically end up with a solid fight.

So, you definitely will start to get interested in the film by the second half. That still may not be saying a whole lot for the first half, but some films just struggle with the intro more than others. A truly good film will manage to have nonstop excitement like Bonds Beyond Time or Avengers, but it is still a tough feat. If the Wolf scene had not been there and if the film had taken out the whole mountain plot, I could easily see this film getting a nice 7. As it stands, I definitely had to take away some points.

Overall, The Bourne Legacy is a fancy way of saying that Jason Bourne is not here. If you really like the concept of Jason Bourne, then you should enjoy this one as it is pretty similar to the original story and the main character is also similar to Bourne. That being said, this film is definitely weaker than the original 3 in just about every way. So, you could say that it’s just a watered down sequel and it feels like a cash grab. It may add more information about the overall universe, but you definitely don’t need to watch this one as you can just wait for the next true Bourne film. Depending on how much of a crossover it is, you may want to see this one, but it may not really affect your enjoyment of the new installment. Also, the animal violence is a decent reason to stay away. If you want an agent film that is better than this one, check out the original Jason Bourne or Mission Impossible film and get ready for epicness.

Overall 5/10

Poltergeist Review

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It’s time for what many believe to be the ultimate horror film. Ultimate and Horror are two words that typically don’t belong next to each other and I definitely did not become one of the film’s many fans. I’m guessing that it probably did start a lot of the horror tropes, but it shows that the 80’s feel can’t work for everything. It certainly is better than A Haunting in Connecticut, but I can’t say much else for it.

A family moves into a new house and things start to get supernatural. Their chairs seem to move by themselves in the kitchen and they can even defy gravity as something seems to push them. Unfortunately, the disturbances begin to grow more and more violent as the days go by and the family begins to fear for their lives. They are still holding out of course, but then their daughter is kidnapped by these ghosts. The heroes reluctantly call in “The Experts” and now it’s all a matter of finding their daughter before they are destroyed.

Well, the plot certainly didn’t help this film’s case. In superhero flicks, I never like when innocent bystanders are dragged into the mess and it’s naturally worse when they are actually hurt. Even worse than that is when a kid is thrown into the mix and that’s what happens here. Like Insidious, the film decides to up the stakes by putting the children in peril and that’s just not a good idea. The little girl is stranded in the demon world for quite a long time and the situation is just way too grim. She doesn’t remember what happened in the demon world so that should keep her psyche from collapsing, but it’s still a fate that should not have happened.

A simple way to fix this problem would be to have the main hero be kidnapped. It would be a sad plight for him, but one that isn’t quite as bad since we know that he can fight. That being said, kidnappings are simply not the best plot device to use, but they can work if used effectively. The film just didn’t do this and they were trying a little too hard for an emotional feeling. Because of that, the main characters are feeling pretty gloomy for most of the film. There are no big speeches or heroic comments to be found for quite a while.

The experts who come in to help are naturally not that good. Then they call in the ultimate expert and she rubbed me the wrong way from the start. Her first big statement to the heroes is basically “You have to promise to do whatever I say even if it goes against your beliefs as a Christian!” “Lol no” is what I would have responded and they should have told her to skip the intro. Instead, they instantly agree and of course they do want her on their side, but she definitely seemed like a pretty terrible character right then and there. She never went back up for me from there and some of her actions just didn’t make sense. “Go to the light…go away from the light…back to the light” insert and repeat many times. She was better than the former leader of the experts though.

That lady decided to talk with the main heroes for way too long. It was the one part of the film that definitely dragged on a lot as you would wait for her to finish. Her two underlings weren’t great even if one of them was pretty confident. They let their mind wander far too often and they act like this is some kind of hobby for them instead of something that they take seriously. I don’t blame one of the underlings for running out of the house though since things were definitely getting pretty dangerous.

Naturally, I’m sure that we all remember the rating controversy from back in the day. After seeing the film, I can definitely say that the MPAA was correct in their initial response of an R rating. Since there was no PG 13 at the time, it was definitely the right move since this is much closer to R than PG. Spielberg and the others got them to bring it down to a PG later, but it’s one of those changes that I definitely don’t disagree with. The film is surprisingly intense for an 80’s film and it can feel like Alien at times.

I definitely wouldn’t say that the film is scary, but it compensates with violence and the gross factor. One guy’s face literally starts to peel away and it’s easily one of the worst scenes in the film. Another scene shows a piece of meat getting torn apart, but with extra effects to make it seem more like human meat if it was being ripped apart. Those two scenes alone make it unsuitable for PG. We also get to see how the humans look once they are spit out of the demon world and while it looks like jelly you can also easily mistake it for more violence. The ambiguous work makes you wonder if the effects just didn’t age well or if you’re misinterpreting it. Either way, it was definitely pretty gross.

The film also brings back the horror trope that I had actually manages to avoid for a while. The main heroine bath scene. You’ll feel like sighing when you see her turn on the faucet because you know that this scene was clearly not needed. There is literally no point as no ghost appears to attack her at all. It’s simply a very long, boring scene of her taking a bath. That’s another big shot against the film and we definitely did not need any more at this point!

Let’s quickly look at some of the positives. The ghosts are actually pretty tough and they do get designs. There’s a 4 legged creature that looks like Clover and he seems to be the main villain. His physical strength is underwhelming, but the design is what counts and he may have some kind of electrical ability at his disposal. The enemies can possess objects so they turn one of the clowns into a weapon of mass destruction. It still only has the strength of a toy though so it’s easy to overpower, but it’s great as a distraction. The tree scene was definitely one of the more intense ones since it really comes out of nowhere. At that point, you weren’t really expecting anything quite like that so it definitely popped out. The various monsters definitely added some action to the title.

The bystanders who are around can definitely raise a few questions though since nobody seems to really do anything. The neighbors notice that the spirits are messing with the heroes and they decide not to help. The house starts to explode along with the neighborhood and the onlookers only appear to be shocked. Some of them have enough energy to start running, but they all felt pretty hollow. This was more of a personal problem for the family though so I guess it’s all right. It’s not a huge idea.

All right, let’s quickly go back to the negatives. The film performs quite poorly when it comes to the animal life. A bird dies in one of the opening scenes and that should have been cut out. The main girl then buys two gold fish even though we know that they probably won’t survive the house exploding. The dog lives and I’m glad about that, but the film shouldn’t have introduced the other animals. It doesn’t serve a purpose and it feels like the film is just trying to get under your skin with how gritty it is instead of trying to be a quality film.

The main characters aren’t bad, but they’re not very m memorable either. The main guy seems to overreact with the boss considering that the guy seems to have been amiable to him in the past. Their teenage daughter isn’t that good though as she really overreacts with the neighborhood is hit and she almost jeapordizes their chances of escape. The other two kids are all right and don’t get a lot of character either way since they’re too young. One scene that will probably make you wince is when the main characters decide to go talk to their neighbor. They can barely talk because they’re laughing so much and it’s sad for them. I just figured that the ghosts were keeping them from talking, but their dialogue afterwards confirms that this simply isn’t the case. That just makes you wonder and while they were naturally embarassed, it was just too much of an overreaction on their part.

The best part of the film is easily at the beginning when the heroes are trying to watch a football game. The only problem is that they get the same feed as their next door neighbor so they quickly fight with the remote. A whole film could easily be made out of that concept and I have a feeling that it would be more fun. If the whole film was like that, I definitely would have had a blast with it.

There isn’t a twist ending this time, but we still do get one last climax after the film seems to have ended. I suppose that will have to do and we deserve a happy ending for the protagonists once in a while right? It works as a change of pace and we see that the ghosts definitely don’t go down without a fight. They tricked one of the “experts” so I give them kudos for that.

Overall, Poltergeist is not the ultimate horror film and I’d say that it’s not even a good one. Relatively speaking, it probably holds its own to most of the other horror films, but I didn’t dig it. The main reason is that everything’s happening to a little kid and the film just has too many gross scenes. The fanservice doesn’t help either and the film will definitely need to rethink a lot of its areas before trying to give us another big film. The scenery is good and you’ll like the son’s room, but the film tends to fall apart after that. If you want to see a film that’s nice and scary while still keeping it real, check out Scooby Doo Zombie Island!

Overall 2/10

Ghostbusters Review

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It’s time for a real classic in the form of Ghostbusters. This is one of those films that just about everyone has heard of and for good reason. It’s one of those 80’s films that had the right mix of intensity and comedy. It was about as good as I had hoped although some of the jokes go a little too far. If not for that, this is an easy 7 and maybe even a 8, but hey…we wouldn’t want this review to be too easy right?

There are three Ghostbusters and they make it their business to deal with all supernatural foes…for a price of course. The city of New York typically doesn’t need their help, but ghosts have been appearing more and more as the days go by. The heroes hadn’t gotten any calls at one point and now they were quickly becoming celebrities. One of the members begins to suspect that something is going to happen considering these circumstances, but the heroes don’t do anything about it. Will this be the cause of their downfall or will the Ghostbusters just vanquish whatever ends up appearing?

Ghostbusters is definitely a pretty fun film and it’s a memorable one. The main theme is iconic and it will likely still be remembered 20 years from now. It’s very catchy and while you can tell that it’s an 80’s song, that doesn’t stop it from appealing to today’s crowd. The actual theme is the main reason why I enjoy it and I could probably do with or without the lyrics. There aren’t many other themes to be found here or at least ones that I recall, but the main theme is the important one anyway.

Stay Puft, The Marshmallow Man, definitely deserves some credit here. He’s one of the most iconic villains from the 80’s and it’s easy to see why. He makes for a pretty incredible final boss. He may actually remind you of Pac Man for a while there since he’s always grinning and looking like he’s having a blast as he devastates the city. He glares at the heroes towards the end and you can tell that they’re finally feeling the fear, but they try to hold it together. I don’t see how the sequel will be able to top such a villain, but it’ll be interesting to see them try.

The CGI for the effects definitely looks dated, but it works in a comedy like this one. It’s mostly evident in the scenes with the Gargoyle running around the hotel and outside. If that happened in real life, you could definitely imagine everyone having a similar reaction to seeing such a stiff monster as in the film. These guys made business and they may not have looked realistic, but that may have made them even cooler. You weren’t about to mix them up with a real monster here, they were definitely here from the ghost world.

The weak point of the film is definitely that some of the jokes can be suggestive and unnecessary. An example of this is a ghost who hits on one of the main characters at one point and the fact that the two main ghosts have to make out to activate the final gate of oblivion. The rushed romance at the end is also not something that we needed since falling for someone just doesn’t happen that quickly. None of the scenes are downright terrible (Although they are pretty bad) but they add up and keep the film from achieving its ultimate potential to be one of the best 80’s films of all time. When you think of how the plot wrecked so many parts of the movie, it can be pretty sad. As it stands, I don’t know where it ranks, but still pretty high I’d presume.

Egon is definitely the best member from the Ghostbusters. He’s very smart and he’s a pretty serious figure. He never falls into the romance trap and he eats Cheese It when he feels like it. I was glad that they included the Cheese It in the film since it is still the best non sugar snack out there. There’s no reason not to like Egon and he’s the heart of the team.

Ray gets the least amount of character development from the main three and he’s a good character for the most part. He does have the dicey ghost scene though and he just doesn’t contribute all that much to the big battle against the ghosts. The team gets a new recruit at one point to help out and he seems like a decent character, although he’s not incredibly loyal. Winston is his name and he’s new at the game. Since he doesn’t know a whole lot about what goes on in the organization, he gets the nickel tour which is useful for the viewers. He seems like a nice guy and I guess we’ll see if he’s able to keep up with the others or not as the films go on.

Peter is the main character and he’s definitely all over the place. He’s typically a great character as he takes nothing serious and does whatever he wants whenever he wants to do it. He’s direct and brimming with confidence as he takes shots at all of the politicians who are around. That being said, he suffers from the romance angle as he lets the possessed heroine mess with him a little before he stops her and he’s constantly flirting with her right from the start. He never acts professionally, but it’s typically in a humorous way. I couldn’t approve of the romance and that hurts his character. Still, he does have the best acting here and his character as a whole is good. He’s just flawed like Gourry.

Dana doesn’t look great for many of the same reasons as Peter. She decides to accept Peter’s proposal for a date even though she didn’t seem interested at first. I don’t see how he could wear her down so quickly. She also got possessed pretty quickly which suggests a lack of willpower. At least she was polite enough to say that she would stop by the party on her floor when she got back. That’s good since the party actually looked like it would be a lot of fun. Considering that she noticed the supernatural occurrences in her apartment at the beginning, she didn’t seem too convinced in the possibility that supernatural forces were at work. The heroes definitely didn’t seem professional, but she should have given them more of a chance. She’s not a bad heroine, but she could have been better.

I do have to admit that Dana had one of the only jump moments in the film. It didn’t literally make anyone jump, but it was still something to think about. She was sitting in the chair when some hands suddenly reached out and pulled her into a portal. I did not see that coming and it was surprisingly serious for such a comedy. The ghosts also mean business so there are a few fight scenes. The main characters are mostly on the losing end as the fight goes on, but they get their second wind by the end. The big villain seems to be an all powerful being yet a quick blast was enough to take her down. That seems accurate as far as I am concerned.

The main characters’ weapons appear to be pretty useful. They’re like the laser weapons in Star Trek as you can set them to full power or to capture. When they’re in full power mode they are able to destroy overwhelmingly powerful ghosts and on capture mode they’re pretty harmless. It’s all in how you use it and I’m glad that it does have a full power mode. Its initial showing against the green ghost was not impressive to say the least.

The film is very long, but it never feels drawn out. From the scenic backgrounds to the good dialogue, this is really a complete film. It’s the kind of film that just wouldn’t work nowadays. There are good comedies now of course, but you can never perfectly recreate a film from these days. You can always yell that a good 80’s film is an 80’s film and a 2000’s homage to it will still feel more modern. It can be just as good, but in a 2000’s way. Times have changed and so have media. Each decade has its own greats and the Ghost Busters will always be an icon of the 80’s.

Overall, Ghostbusters is a pretty fun film to check out. The dialogue is pretty witty and the main characters are pretty likable. Peter definitely has his moments where he stops being likable so he’s a mixed bag, but the cast is definitely a good one. There are definitely more suggestive material included than is necessary, which drags it down a few notches. I recommend this to anyone who’s looking for a good time as it’s just a lot of fun. It’ll remind you of the happier days of Hollywood and who doesn’t like a good ghost fight right? I haven’t seen the sequel yet, but it’s going to have a tough time beating this one.

Overall 6/10

Lakeview Terrace Review

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Looks like it’s time for a thriller film. Lakeview Terrace may sound like the type of film where the main characters go to a nice looking hotel that is actually in a bad neighborhood, but that’s not exactly how it plays out. It’s a pretty distasteful film that can rival many horror films that I have seen and I can understand why the reception wasn’t very good for it. It’s one of those films that’s just frustrating to watch and it’s certainly not one that will have you smiling throughout.

Chris and Lisa move into a new house where they plan on staying for a while. They’re hoping that it works out, but they were not counting on their next door neighbor. Able is a police man, but he’s racist against couples with different ethnic backgrounds so he decides that he’ll intimidate and terrorize them until they go away. Chris definitely doesn’t want to back down to this bully so they begin to escalate their actions. The main problem for Chris is that Able has been living here for a long time and he has a lot of connections. Home Field Advantage is not something to be taken lightly!

I will admit that the film’s beginning was pretty clever since you initially think that Able could be the heroes. We’re not sure what’s going on with Chris and Lisa, but one of your first guesses could be that they’re bad apples since they keep making moves while the other figure isn’t looking. After he leaves, they still act like pretty unlikable characters for a while. Eventually, we figure out that it’s still Able’s problem, but the beginning does try to give you some doubts at first.

What makes this film unlikable is that it simply goes too far. Able keeps humiliating the heroes and intimidating them without the heroes firing back. One of the worst scenes in the film is easily when Chris goes to Able’s party to tell him to tone down the music. He’s essentially manhandled in that scene and he displays some incredibly weak strength of will there. Naturally, his actions there are quickly sent to Lisa for some more drama. It was a very unpleasant scene to watch and it just went way too overboard. Another cringe worthy scene is when Able goes to Chris’ house to fetch his daughter and totally threatens Lisa. Chris isn’t there to help so there’s nothing that she can really do and you have to hope that the main characters will bring in the cops. Chris probably would have ended things by now, but he wasn’t allowed to buy a gun for 10 days due to a grace period.

Abel is the main villain and he’s definitely very unlikable. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen an openly racist villain like him. He provokes the heroes a lot and takes many chances. He’s basically willing to risk the job that he’s had for decades just to get rid of the main characters. He’s a pretty sick individual so he probably doesn’t care or even think about the repercussions of his actions. It’s all worth it to him and naturally it all comes down to a traumatic event that happened to him a long time ago.

Chris is the main character and I like the fact that he stands up to Abel at the very end, but it’s too little too late. He spends too much of the film trying to be polite to Abel when he should be more direct. Abel loves to torment the heroes only to pretend to be nice before pushing them back down again. It’s one of those social things that is hard to sidestep, but the heroes should definitely be willing to do so. Unfortunately, Chris is one of those guys who does have a whole lot of flaws, which really doesn’t help his case. He’s actually a very unlikable main character. He smokes behind his wife’s back and he does a poor job of exposing Abel’s actions.

Lisa suffers from her poor handling of the Abel case as well. After Abel threatens here and goes onto her property without permission, she doesn’t let Chris know. Instead they have another argument about their romantic drama. One area where I was definitely against Lisa was when she decided to skip her pills so that she could have a baby. Just dumping something like that on the main guy is pretty unreasonable. If she didn’t like the fact that he didn’t want a kid, just breaking up with him seems like the best option. It was a bit of a low blow to say the least and she’s no more likable than Chris.

One of the film’s negatives is naturally that there is a lot of romance and it’s not handled in a good way. There are films that can make a nice romance and there are others that just want to have the main characters constantly flirting and being provocative. This is the latter and they definitely don’t provide a good example to the other characters. You can’t blame the dad for not approving of Chris although Lisa definitely deserves half of the blame as well. They need to tone it down a lot and remember the good ole days where just holding hands was considered to be bold.

There is a subplot about a fire cloud that is approaching the house, but it ends up being a plot that doesn’t really go anywhere. It finally comes in at the end, but we don’t get a big fire to help the climax. No, instead it just gives us smoke. Luckily, that’s enough to get the police to run away so that Abel can make his final stand. The cops were pretty slow at the end since they see that a car has crashed and they’re still unsure of what to do. Telling the main character to drop his gun is great, but they should have also went to Abel to see if he was concealing one. They had quite a few cops on them so it would have still been pretty easy and relatively safe. At most, only 2-3 would be shot and they would be able to mow down the assailant.

Still, as I mentioned, the main negative of the film comes back down to the fact that it’s simply a chore to get through. The party scene with the unwilling consent from Chris was really bad and watching Abel constantly mess up their parties is just sad. The film just leaves a bad taste in your mouth and you’ll be waiting for it to end. You’ll also wonder how the main characters ever accepted the house since there are evidently no locks to secure the perimeter. It’s an easy matter for the villain to jump the fence or just walk in through one of the dozen entryways. You can never feel safe in such a house and I would have moved out (After defeating Abel) immediately.

Overall, Lakeview Terrace is a film that you will want to skip. You’re definitely not going to have fun watching it. Watching the police acting inappropriately while off duty is a stereotype that needs to go and there are no likable characters here. While the villain is really unlikable, it is still hard to root for the main characters since they are really below average when it comes to leads. The film also drags on a little since the heroes are just getting bullied for so long that you wonder when the climax will arrive. No, if you want a thriller film, go check out Final Fantasy VII Advent Children!

Overall 2/10