Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

Behind Enemy Lines Review

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It’s time for a film that reminds you of just how dangerous it can be to be caught behind enemy lines. Trust me that’s not a situation that you ever want to be in. It makes for a pretty action packed movie with a lot of chase scenes and having to avoid enemy fire. I had a pretty good time with it and would recommend checking it out to anyone looking for a solid action movie to watch.

The movie starts with Chris really looking forward to his current tour ending. He had been hoping for a lot of action and excitement as a pilot but instead he’s mostly just had to do a lo of flying around empty areas. No gunfights or anything like that and he doesn’t appreciate the peace. Well one day, he ends up flying a little far out and gets shot down by the opposition. His partner is executed and he barely escapes into the wilderness. The US is in a tough political battle with this country and so with the treaty nearly here they don’t want to risk anything setting that back. So despite having a soldier on the run, the higher ups forbid Admiral Leslie from stepping in. Leslie wants to help but needs to figure out a way to do this. Will assistance be in time for Chris or is he truly on his own?

Now if this was a power fantasy film Chris would just defeat the whole army and keep it moving but of course that wouldn’t be super realistic. Best we can do for you here is have Chris be able to outrun the entire army and dodge all of their bullets. A pretty impressive feat in and of itself though. You’re going to see a lot of scenes of everyone trying to murder Chris and he’s just too fast for them. He moves through the forest like it’s his own backyard and he’s also able to use the mud to his advantage so that he can hide even while they are right on top of him. So yeah pretty impressive all around.

This film will have you stretching your disbelief quite a bit with how it’s handled but it does make for a very exciting movie which is always a good idea. It does come at the expense of the hype for one of the villains though. This guy is supposed to be an expert sniper, the best in the business and the film hypes him up as a huge threat. The problem for the guy is that ultimately when the chips are down he isn’t able to hit Chris. He has Chris straight in his sights and misses every single shot. Really a bad look for the guy since he’s a sniper and shooting at someone should be what he does best. It definitely had me a little confused I have to say. Just feels like the villain should have been handled a lot better.

There’s also another scene where he gets really lucky. Basically the villain who was with him steps on a land mine and asks him for help. The sniper says nah and start to walk away. The first villain should have just tried to run or make a jump for it then and blown them both up. No way you just let the other guy get away like that right? It would make no sense and just makes you look bad for accepting that. You have to keep your dignity in tact. All of the villains were on the weak side here to be sure but you can’t just take that. You have to make a move.

Meanwhile Leslie was a good admiral. He definitely did try to do the right thing throughout the whole film but it just wasn’t so easy. Every time he was being stopped on all sides by other officials. The film was definitely trying to show a lot of corruption within the government here like one guy in particular who seemed to be working with the terrorists the whole time. I was surprised at how easily he got off after it was all said and done. I guess there just wasn’t a strong enough case against him and he probably blamed it on someone else but that was unfortunate.

It was nice to see Chris actually get a little help as the film went on from the resistance. Usually it feels like nobody’s around at all and so the hero is really on his own but even just having one person makes a huge difference when you’re on the run like that. The crazy thing is that Chris could have really saved himself a whole movie if he just hadn’t yelled when they blew up his partner. I get that he was feeling pretty stressed and shocked when that happened but at the same time he really didn’t need to yell like that. The scene took so long and was so drawn out that it’s not like he didn’t see it coming. So he should have been prepared for that moment from the start.

If he doesn’t make a sound then nobody finds out and he has a really solid head start over to the extraction point. Even with the moles and traitors running around, I don’t think anyone would have had time to stop him before he escaped. So it was really a turning point in the whole movie right from the start.

Overall, This is definitely an exciting film with a whole lot of action the whole time. The pacing is on point and while the character cast isn’t huge, they work well enough. The movie is definitely at its best when it is really focusing on the thriller aspects of the title over the drama but handles them all rather well. It has a lot of fun with slow mo scenes and tons of camera cuts all over the place to really make you feel the intensity. This is absolutely more of an action film than your classic war title so keep that in mind when you’re watching it. I’ll be curious to see if any of the sequels can match this one. In theory you can just keep reusing the same plot over and over again so it’s all going to come down to the execution. Give me enough fight scenes and you absolutely have a chance after all.

Overall 7/10

Fit for Christmas Review

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It’s time for a very classic kind of romantic comedy film and this one really executes on what’s otherwise a fairly simple plot. At the end of the day I’m going to keep on calling this the Hallmark formula and so of course it’s filled with a romantic rebound and a lot of good burns being dished out by both of the main characters. The path that the story follows may be generic but you’ll have a good time as the film slowly takes you there.

The film starts off with Audrey heading back to her old hometown for the first time in a while. She’s on a “break” from her boyfriend after he decided to cancel their wedding at the last second. Well, this gives her more time to re-open her dancing/fitness classes back up and it’s almost Christmas so this’ll be fun. Unfortunately the town is about to get in the middle of a crisis because a giant corporation has decided to move in. They’re going to be building new places, fresh eateries and improving the quality of life in the town by 1 billion percent but it will likely lose that old town vibe as a result. Audrey has decided to stop this at all costs but it’s difficult since most of the people in the town seem to be on board with the idea. Even worse? The guy representing the company is a man named Griffin, one of the most eligible bachelors of all time! She will have to try and resist his looks, charm, and money but can she pull this off when everyone is rooting for them to get together?

Right away one thing I like here is the banter between Griffin and Audrey before they get together. He really embraces the villain role while always taking the high road. She jumps in with a lot of insults and everything right out of the gate while he takes it all in stride and at least acts nice on the outside. He did a good job of bluffing through his lack of Christmas knowledge during her quiz while they were doing the fitness routine and he did manage to make friends with everyone in the town. That’s impressive since they all started out not wanting to like him since he was a part of corporate.

Griffin is clearly very good at his job and it shows. I’m glad that he wasn’t incompetent or anything like that. You could make the case that he was a step ahead throughout the whole film and ultimately the spirit of Christmas is what it took to stop him. He definitely could have stood to be more confident when talking to his father though. That was absolutely his weak point. Particularly since as we see his father is very reasonable the whole time. I think he would have supported Griffin’s change to the plan right from the start and so we didn’t need all of the secrecy or anything like that.

The characters were all written rather well and realistically. The antagonists were not too far gone. At most you could just say that the romance was really rushed the whole time and that’s definitely true. They’re moving way too fast considering that Audrey was really close to marrying the last guy. It’s always been one of my biggest problems with the concept of the rebound. If you were so close to being married to the point where she would have been had he just said yes…then is her love for Griffin really the real deal? If your feelings can change so quickly then I have doubts on just how deep they are. It’s just not how these things work and you’ll have a very hard time convincing me of anything else.

In general though the instant you have to take a “break” in your relationship then it’s as good as over. A break is never needed for the person that you really love. Audrey was on the fence about this longer than she should have been. The other guy seemed decent overall but the fact that he wasn’t ready to commit is a dealbreaker. You just can’t really come back from that, at least not easily. The movie randomly tries throwing in another romance subplot which was more on the weak side though. Particularly since this guy’s wife was dead which was the main reason he didn’t want to get back into the dating scene.

It’s a super valid reason but it’s just brushed aside the whole time with the whole “She’d want you to be happy.” Yeah maybe but sometimes she actually would want her husband to just stay loyal to her, particularly since he’s rather old at this point anyway. I know the phrase is til death do us part but you can sometimes stand to stretch that out until both people are dead you know? You don’t have to just move on like that every time.

Well, romance aside, the rest of the film was a blast though. The fitness scenes were actually pretty good since it does feel like that would give me a good workout. I liked the sets and it was nice seeing the whole town come together. The fact that Griffin was nice to everyone even while working for corporate was great because it makes the ending less cheesy and more realistic. There are no hatchets to be buried or grudges to get past because everyone was on the same page from the start. It’s an extremely refreshing thing to see here.

Overall, Fit for Christmas is a very well made movie. At its core it’s a super enjoyable film and of course that is the most important part for any title by far. You have to be a blast in order to be remembered as a super solid title and this one really holds its own there. It has a lot of replay value and would stand as one of the stronger Hallmark styled films that I’ve seen. I always love good banter and this film definitely delivered with that. So in the end I really have no major complaints with this one and would recommend it. You’re bound to find a lot of scenes that make you smile.

Overall 7/10

The Old Dark House Review

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It’s time for a bit of a blast from the past since I actually saw this one quite a while ago. It’s a pretty interesting story about a group who ends up at a strange house where there is something a little off about everyone. It may not stand out a whole lot next to some other haunted house movies but with something constantly happening it will certainly keep you entertained. The moral is that sometimes it is better to stay outside in the car instead of wandering into a haunted house.

The film starts with Philip and Margaret bickering a whole lot after they had gotten lost on the road. They can’t figure out a way to get where they were going and then the car gets stuck in the mud. With a heavy rainstorm ongoing their only option is to head inside of a mysterious house for shelter. Well, they are granted entrance by Horace but he is bickering with his sister Rebecca constantly so it’s like going from the frying pan into the fire. Rebecca is very into the supernatural, Horace seems to treat everything like a bit of a morbid joke and then they have a butler who cannot speak but seems to be rather creepy the whole time. Did I mention that there seems to be someone upstairs?

That’s not even accounting for the fact that two more strangers wander in later on. More crazy people or just here to throw a little romance into the adventure? After all, Roger is basically a third wheel to the main couple. Yeah the film actually does squeeze in some romance amidst all of the horror and the large cast so like I said this film is really chock full of story and different plots going on.

The writing is pretty solid. Everyone speaks in a very distinguished way and the film does get that eerie feeling across rather well. It does live up to the hype of being a haunted house but less so for the house itself and just the inhabitants. That’s probably scarier anyway since not everyone is scared of ghosts but strange people who could be mass murderers? Yeah that’s pretty scary.

As the main character Philip can be more on the annoying side at times. I do think he was a bit much in how he was in a bad attitude during the drive. He gets along with Margaret better once they are inside at least though and isn’t as afraid of everyone as some of the other characters. He’s willing to go up and get the lamp at least even though it’s…upstairs!! So there’s that.

Margaret is a character who makes it a point to say that she doesn’t scare easily at first but then spends most of the film getting scared a lot and panicking so it wasn’t a good look for her. She at least had a better attitude than Philip initially but loses a lot of points for this. She also tends to run off on her own and get into trouble which is a really bad idea here. You need to always stick together when you’re in a strange place like this.

Morgan’s by far the worst character though. A pretty terrible antagonist who is basically a wild animal just trying to go after Margaret the whole time. Whenever he’s on screen tends to be the most annoying part. The guy’s fairly strong and usually handles whoever goes up against him but I prefer the more subtle kind of horror in these films. Having someone like this doesn’t add anything to the table.

Philip’s friend Roger is fun. His romance plot definitely comes across as really rushed given the circumstances but I like the fact that he’s at least having fun with all of this. While everyone else is panicking and getting scared he’s just laughing and having a good ole time. Nobody’s about to scare him. It feels like he’s always subtly mocking everybody.

Gladys is a fun character. There is no rebound going on here at least as the guy she came into the house with is just a friend. For once the film has no twists about this and that he secretly likes her or anything. They’re just good pals and he takes care of her. So Saul’s a pretty decent guy. The only part he’s upset about is the fact that Roger has no money and doesn’t seem like a very serious guy. Very valid reasons to be a little skeptical at least but ultimately he accepts this.

As for the house inhabitants, they’re all rather flawed of course. Horace is a fun guy but he is really just sitting back and allowing all of this craziness to unfold. He’s not even brave enough to go upstairs which says a lot about his character. The guy may seem like he’s having a fun time but is always scared out of his wits. At least Rebecca is taking charge the whole time but you never know when she will go on one of her crazy tirades. It makes for some pretty entertaining scenes though. Margaret really needed to stand up for herself more though.

Then we have the most random character at the end, good ole Saul. So the climax is hilarious in some ways even if it’s trying to be serious. So some old man shows up claiming that he’s completely harmless but grabs a giant knife. So he talks for a while and then one of the heroes lets his guard down and gets knocked out. Come on how are you going to get beat up by an old man who doesn’t train or exercise or anything?

Yeah really bad look but the whole climax is so sudden and random that it is pretty funny though. The film actually has a lot more action than you would expect from all of the Morgan fights as well as the climax fight with Saul. It’s really just wild stuff that you have to see to believe because it’s such a massive departure from the actual premise of the movie. Anti-shoutout to the two heroines hiding in a closet the whole time though. When it’s life or death like this I feel like everyone needs to try and help out. After all of the guys lose then the girl will die shortly afterwards so there’s no benefit in hiding. Either you all win or you all lose.

Overall, This was a pretty fun film. It’s got some fun unintentional humor and the writing is fun. The ending is also so nonchalant after everything that went on. Definitely a product of its time but one that has a decent amount of replay value so yeah I’d end up recommending it. It’s also something you can really impress people with since I’m sure the average moviegoer has probably never even heard of this film. It’s not exactly an iconic movie after all.

Overall 7/10

Operation Christmas Drop Review

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It’s time for an emotional Christmas story that would do Hallmark proud. It’s a fun movie all around and the pacing is on point so you’re always having a good time. The plot is fairly straight forward and you can see a lot of the story beats coming but the execution is on point. The movie never tries to do too much and mainly focuses on one key plot instead of trying to jam in a ton of them. Less is more in this instance and so that ends up working pretty well.

The film starts with Erica being tasked with her most difficult mission yet. She has to prove why the army should close an air force base so that the funds can be reallocated. Of course this means a lot of people would be losing their jobs which is rough. Additionally the biggest loss would be the Christmas Drop program where the Air Force flies supplies, gifts, and a lot of much needed convenience items to people in the nearby islands who could really use some essentials. They aren’t very well off and so this is one way to help boost morale while helping a lot of people in very real ways. All in all, this is a PR nightmare for Erica as she is basically the bad guy here. She keeps deflecting by saying that she is just following orders but maybe it is time to make a stand. Maybe it is time…to save Christmas!

You would think optically Erica’s boss would like to keep the base to show how benevolent she is but of course in politics you always have a thousand voices yelling at you to different things so at this point and time the pressure is simply higher on the other side. Sometimes that’s really all it boils down to. Erica is certainly ready to submit her report and bury the place at first as well until she gradually sees how it helps out. I have no doubt that some money is likely spent on the program even with all of the donations but the fact that the base went out of its way to try and make this a good deal for everyone does speak volumes. It shows that they are really trying hard to be responsible at all phases of the project.

Andrew is the main guy sticking up for the program and he does a terrific job. He always has the right answers on hand and isn’t intimidated by Erica’s boss. He makes the pitch to her directly as well and you can tell that the guy has put a lot of effort into this program. Even with the romance aside I’d say his pitch would have been fairly convincing to any reporter looking in on the situation. That’s because by every objective metric this is a really good idea. For the cynical onlookers at least it’s good PR, for the people hoping to make a difference in the world this gives them an avenue to do it, and for all of the islanders it obviously helps them out a whole lot since they are in a tough spot.

It’s always good to see the army doing good and using all of their equipment for something like this is great. So yeah Andrew steals the show as the main character here. Meanwhile Erica is solid as well. Obviously she does have to go through a bit of a character arc to end up as the selfless lead she was destined to be but it’s a character arc that is definitely handled well. When it comes time to make a stand, she picks the right side and helps the team out on their mission.

As for the romance in this film, there’s no rebounding going on so I appreciate that. Often times there is a poor ex running around or a character was already with someone and breaks up after making it to the main plot. In this case that doesn’t happen. The romance is still on the weaker side since it’s all moving a little too fast though. Given the stakes here you’d think romance would be the last thing on either of their minds. Andrew has a mission to save after all and letting your feelings interfere with that would be a grave mistake.

It is definitely a bit odd to see a Christmas film taking place by the beach like this but it certainly helps the film stand out. That is also the normal setting for plenty of people so that’s a nice way to see their perspective. Of course if given the choice I would always want a Christmas that’s sub zero temperature with plenty of snow but at the end of the day you should be able to have a good time no matter how hot or cold it is. It’s more about enjoying the day and the festivities than what’s going on outside right? This does mean there aren’t any big montage of holiday foods this time around though but that’s fine.

The writing is on point so even the antagonists aren’t written to be super crazy or anything like that. Everyone has reasons for doing what they are doing and the film does give the main antagonist a good amount of presence. Whenever she walks in you know the characters are going to be stressed. You also can’t blame her for being upset since from her point of view this all does look pretty bad. Imagine walking into the army base to see the person you hired in the middle of a party instead of researching? Bosses tend to have tricky timing like that sometimes.

Overall, Operation Christmas Drop is a pretty good film. It has a good story with a solid moral and ultimately just spreads good vibes the whole time. It’s the kind of movie where you feel good after having watched it and you can’t say that for just any film. Mix in a lot of fun visuals, songs, and a good cast and you have a winner here. Being fun is one of the main positives I would say for the film and that’s really all that you need. It kept the plot fairly basic and the character cast rather small. It has a very specific focus with the story and doesn’t deviate from that. I had a good time watching it and so I would definitely recommend checking it out.

Overall 7/10

O. Henry’s Full House Review

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It’s time for an anthology film and you know that those can sometimes get a little dicey. Well, this one ends up being solid as most of the stories are pretty good. There is one particularly weak story that does almost lower this one by a star because it can really drag but the positive ones outweighed the weakest link. Ultimately this would be one of the better anthologies that I have seen.

So lets jump into each story. The first one is about a guy who wants to be arrested. He likes to be kept in a jail cell during the colder months of the year because then he is guaranteed 3 square meals and a warm place to sleep. The jails were pretty well kept back in those days and so it was like a free hotel service. The trick is he needs something that will keep him in jail for exactly 3 months so it can’t be anything too mild or anything too brutal. It would also be nice not to get beaten up or shot so he has to be careful on what kinds of crimes he dishes out. Unfortunately nobody seems to want to arrest him. What can he do now?

It does feel like this should still be a very easy mission to complete though. I mean there are so many ways to get arrested even if you’re just looking for non-violent means. The main guy tries some mild stuff like theft, dining and dashing, etc. but it just isn’t working. At that point the guy needed to adjust his gameplan a bit. Maybe try dining and dashing a second time since it usually works you know what I mean? It does lead to a funny gag at the end though so it worked out. This was a pretty fun story with a good amount of humor and solid pacing.

Then in the next story we jump to a murder case that has been unsolved…until now. See one of the cops recognizes the pen left at the scene of the crime. It belongs to a guy he used to know who was always a petty crook but evidently he has gone beyond that now. Thing is, he owes this crook $1000 and doesn’t feel right arresting him before paying the money back. So now he has to earn the money before the guy skips town but how do you raise 1000 that quickly? It’s a good story but I do have some rather massive issues with it.

First off, this villain’s a murderer. I don’t care if the cop owes him a million dollars, you have to bring him in so that he doesn’t murder anyone else. He is clearly unhinged after all so why hold back? You can pay him back while he’s in jail as long as he isn’t executed. So the whole premise to me didn’t make a lot of sense. It’s a very weak excuse to potentially let someone stay on the loose causing a bunch of trouble. The main character lost a lot of my respect at that point.

It’s still a very fun story though which is why it stays at a high level. The pacing is good and the writing is very solid. In general outside of one story involving a kid, the writing is always good which is what makes the anthology work. It balances the humor and solid elements well. The cop just comes across as the biggest pushover I’ve seen in a while. He literally lets the villain punch him in the stomach and doesn’t do anything about it. You can’t let people be putting hands on you like that. Trust me, it never ends well.

After that is a bit of a weaker story. Basically a girl is heartbroken and literally falls to the ground. She ends up catching pneumonia from staying out in the snow for too long and now her health is a matter of life and death. She should have recovered sooner but part of her doesn’t want to get better as life is meaningless without her man. So her sister and a kind neighbor try to help her out but she has this delusion about her life being tied to that of a tree outside. Once the final leaf falls, she will take her last breath. It’s an old tree that will soon be destroyed though so what can the heroes do?

The girl who is sick ends up being rather annoying here. Obviously it’s much easier said than done to tell her to buck up and handle this in stride but she really doesn’t help them out at all. I think this is a good place to quickly remind you all that nobody is so important that losing them means your life has no purpose. You have to always continue on living and while I would not recommend rebounding, find some solo activities to enjoy. Ultimately the neighbor comes through when it counts here. I do think he was taken for granted the whole time as he was really doing his best to help out through and through. He may not be a great artist but he was clearly someone who cared about them. So I was glad that the ending addressed that and it was the best ending out of any of the specials. (Although most of the stories did have really satisfying conclusions)

Now we enter the worst story of the bunch. Basically two guys who are down on their luck decide to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. They succeed but what they don’t realize is that this kid is really tough and he starts to literally beat them up. The town also has a no returns policy so if they want to bring the kid back then they are going to have to pay $250 which is rough when they don’t have much money. Can they survive this experience?

While most of the stories do have some comedic undertones they were great at balancing them with the serious moments. That’s not the case with this story as its fully comical and completely unrealistic. It goes a bit too far here with such a small kid beating up the two adults the whole time. The kid is supremely annoying and the same goes for the adults who are losing this battle. The whole plot doesn’t make sense but instead of that being in a cool abstract way like the Twilight Zone, it just comes across as really annoying.

The story ends up dragging on quite a bit as a result so I dunno I think they could have done a whole lot better with this one. If you make the story too serious it would be a bit too dark of course but somewhere in the middle would have made sense. Like have the two adults still be nice people so they can’t do much about the kid but then have the kid still be a lot of work. You could absolutely make this work and it was the only time I felt the writing was not up to par.

Finally we have the famous Christmas gift exchange story. It doesn’t compete with the Mickey Mouse version but that’s how it goes. Basically a recent couple is getting ready for Christmas but they are really poor. They tend to imagine having fancy foods and items but in reality they never get to have anything all that fancy. Well, each of them decides that they want to get something big for once so the guy gets his girl a fancy hair set while she gets him a really good watch strap. Unfortunately things take a rough turn with what they each had to sacrifice in order to make this work.

It’s a pretty tragic story all around. I mean the underlining message is that they didn’t really need any of that stuff and can still be happy but it’s still a shame to see what they have lost. It won’t be easy to get the watch back and while the girl’s hair will grow back, it’ll take time. It’s why secret presents and such can be fun but you do have to be careful about the whole thing. Keep your partner happy but don’t sacrifice something so precious that it’ll end up working out more like a guilt trip. Surprises can be double edged swords in that regard but all in all it was definitely a quality story through and through.

Overall, This was a pretty good anthology. Most of the stories worked out well which is exactly what you want to see in a collection like this. The writing tended to be good and the stories were on point. I’d definitely recommend checking this one out and I expect you will have a good time with it. The stories may be fairly basic but that’s why the execution is always important. They are handled well and so you are absolutely entertained.

Overall 7/10

The Holiday Review

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You might as well call this the rebound movie because that is constantly what is going on here. The characters jump from one person to the next with limitless speed. It’s completely uncanny and ultimately takes away from any message of true love that the film is trying to express. It ends up getting too dramatic and so ultimately none of the characters really make a lot of sense here. I cringed a lot more during this movie than any other recent title.

The movie starts off by introducing us to two characters who have both experienced a lot of heartache recently. First is Amanda who is super rich and owns her own film trailers company where she excels. Unfortunately her boyfriend cheated on her and so she breaks up with him and now has nobody to spend Christmas with. She decides to enroll in this super sketchy program where you swap houses with someone and flies all the way to England to get started on her vacation. Now she can be away from all of the usual neighborhoods which could remind her of her ex but she just can’t be alone anymore. So when some guy shows up at her new house she is ready for a quick one night stand.

Meanwhile Iris is having guy trouble of her own as she is in an unrequited love with one of the guys at work. He’s engaged to another woman and has lots of affairs but she is satisfied with just receiving his attention sometimes. He knows that she likes him and continues to exploit this fact by telling her that he needs her and letting her get some action now and again. It’s a very unhealthy dynamic though so Iris ends up swapping houses with Amanda. Now she can finally enjoy being rich for a little while but the colleague continues to call her because he needs some help on his projects. Can she learn to block his number in time?

In a lot of these adventures I really don’t get why the characters don’t just block the number. Seriously it’s not that hard and then you don’t have to worry about seeing any of those messages or calls ever again. In particular from the two characters I also can’t really sympathize with Iris all that much. She’s just too much of a pushover. Unrequited love is one thing. Sure that can be rough but at the same time it’s not this huge mess she’s making it out to be. When you’re in love with someone then you’re happy as long as they are. A crush is when you’re sad that your girl/guy got snagged before you could make your move. True love is much deeper than that and so as long as the girl he is with is a good person then that’s it.

So her jealousy the whole time isn’t great. You either move on or just really enjoy the moments you have with the guy. You do not continue being a homewrecker or just pouting the whole time. Then when you find out that the guy actually knows the whole situation and keeps weaponizing it, that is when Iris should have gotten out of there. How does she even love the guy when he’s this toxic? Yeah her plot just didn’t win me over in the slightest and it really hurts her as a character.

There’s a scene near the end that hurts her a lot too. So she’s ready to rebound with the nice music guy when her ex shows up again. Iris is ready to throw all of that away immediately to get back together with him and the only thing that stops her is that he’s still engaged. Meaning?? She would have gone back together with him if he had claimed that he called it off. It’s a horrible look and is why I can’t root for any of the romances in this film because this kind of thing keeps on happening.

Miles is the guy she’s supposed to end up with but he’s not much better. For starters I think he is a bit too much of a flirt. I half forgot that he was even dating someone because when he meets Iris he’s being super friendly, gives long awkward stares, kisses her on the cheek twice later on, etc. So then his girlfriend cheats on him so he feels bad and goes to Iris for the rebound…..only to then go back to the ex real quick when she asks him over. Ultimately he says no this time and goes back to Iris but again why is he tempted at such a late date? It implies that she could have won him over depending on how she handled this. Real bad look for Miles.

Men and Women reading this blog, always remember to know your worth. If you’re someone’s second choice then that isn’t the person you want to be with. The other wise words of wisdom I’m going to impart is to be careful if someone is too easy as well. Because the way you obtain someone is often the way you lose them. So if someone you like offers you a one night stand right away…know that the offer may be extended to others as well. So yeah when it comes to advice in the ways of love, I’m your guy. I’m something of a romantic expert myself after all….

Yeah back to the movie though, we’re cutting back to Amanda’s plot now. Her plot is also one that’s hard to be sympathetic with. I will say that she handled the Ex way better than Iris though. He cheated so she punched him in the face and kicked him out. Boom that was it for him. No second thoughts, no half hearted apologies, etc. He was gone and out of the movie. Where Amanda’s plot goes wrong is it takes a few seconds upon meeting some complete stranger for her to go all the way with him. Are you kidding me? If that’s similar to how fast she went with the first guy then it’s not too surprising that he ended up being a cheater. The entire point of dating is to find out the true character of a person after all. So you don’t get to learn about that if you’re skipping that whole phase.

Of course, knowing someone isn’t super easy and there are tons of ins and outs to romance that take years of experience and other parts that just require faith. This guy named Graham has a lot of secrets of his own which he doesn’t share and that does make him look bad by the end. Ultimately this plot was just annoying with Amanda and Graham both appearing to have no morals the whole time. I wouldn’t trust either one with my groceries let alone in a relationship! They just seem way too desperate.

The only real quality character here is Arthur. He’s a fairly old guy who is having health issues but still has a fairly positive attitude. He’s a fierce guy too who doesn’t let anyone push him around. He injected some humor into the film and had some of the best moments. The film could actually be inspiring and emotional when it wanted to be rather than being super dramatic all of the time. So this was definitely when the film was at its best. If it could have skipped the romance and just focused on making friends and learning how to enjoy yourself then that would have been a much better film.

The fact that the main characters cannot function by themselves without constantly being in a relationship is in itself a red flag. You should be able to be fairly self sufficient as needed because if not then you’re probably going to be a very clingy partner. You should always have your own interests as well so if you guy/gal needs to be on a business trip or working late you have something to do beyond blasting their phone with endless texts and things like that. None of these characters really seemed all that happy on their own so they aren’t in that perfect spot yet.

Overall, The Holiday is one of those films where you don’t really buy into the characters having a happy ending. They’re all too quick to rebound so it’s hard to see how they could possibly trust each other. There’s just too much baggage and so the relationships probably won’t last. The film could have really worked on making the characters more likable all around if you ask me. The writing isn’t the best and while the film is long, it stuffs itself with so many plots that it doesn’t really matter. It’s just used to create more and more problems for the heroes with made them more and more irredeemable. There are some fairly high quality songs thrown into the mix at least though.

Overall 3/10

Paycheck Review

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It’s time for a film with a pretty interesting premise, in part because I could see this actually happening in real life at some point. Companies want to keep things confidential after all and right now people sign non-disclosure agreements but at the end of the day those are hardly full proof. What if they could just erase your memories? Oh man that would be a company’s ultimate dream! This movie is pretty fun and will keep you entertained the whole time but I do have to admit that the main character does come across as gullible.

The film starts off by introducing us to Michael who basically contracts with various companies to work on specialized projects. After which his memories are deleted and he goes off to live his life. The positive here of course is that he’s making absolute bank. The guy is basically rich because of the missions but the negative of course is that he’s missing massive parts of his life. He’s completely okay with this and feels that it’s a fair trade off though. Well, one day an old friend shows up and asks him if he is interested in a longer term contract. This one will last 3 years and of course he won’t remember any of it. Michael agrees but when he wakes up, it turns out that he gave away all of his money for some reason and all of the records have been destroyed. Now he is being hunted and it’s all an elaborate frame up. What can he do to get out of this?

I have to give the film more credit here because this is exactly what my worst fear would be. When you’re erasing whole chunks of your memory like that, you seriously have no idea what happened previously and that is opening up the door to all kinds of trouble. You can’t properly defend yourself from someone accusing you of something when you yourself don’t know what occurred right? So long story short, I would never even consider doing this even if the money was really good like this. An added wrinkle is in this film the procedure of removing memories is actually super dangerous as well so one wrong move and you will lose all of your memories or potentially even die in the machine.

Michael is one of those guys who usually takes things in stride. He’s fairly confident in himself and is skilled but as a character I wouldn’t say that he’s great. He’s cool with having one night stands since he figures that he will forget all about them afterwards anyway and that doesn’t make for a particularly solid romance. So once he does fall for someone you have a hard time buying into it. The romance doesn’t seem all that convincing and in large part it’s because the main character doesn’t exactly seem like a great guy.

You still feel bad for him of course since being framed is rough but that’s about it. As the main heroine Rachel isn’t bad. Taking aside the romance plot of it all, she does contribute a lot to the plot and can also be rather tough which I always like to see in the heroine. Michael also has a friend in Shorty who is very helpful here. The guy has a bit of an “I told you so” attitude but it is completely justified he whole time. Like this was a bad idea from the jump and it was pretty clear to see.

Now where the film taps into some interesting themes is with how Michael keeps having items on hand that are useful in very specific circumstances at specific moments. It’s basically as if he is following a destiny that is pre written by his past self who saw into the future. I always like theory crafting with time and looking at all of the different ways it could work. Basically, if you can see into the future then does that imply that your future is written in stone, you are just seeing one possible version?, or was that the future but the instant you saw it, it has now changed since you can effect things?

Personally I always go with the one possible version theory because to me it makes the most sense by far. You should be able to change the future once you have seen it and everything being pre written is just hard to buy for me. That said, this one is mainly going in that direction as Michael saw the future and planned things out extremely carefully in a self fulfilling cycle where he saw what was going to happen and made sure that it did. So what happens when two people see the future? Well that’s another interesting one.

The climax is pretty fun as it deals with all of that. On the whole I wouldn’t say the film is super action packed or anything like that but there are a whole lot of chase scenes. We also get the government involved which is always fun. Of course they do tend to get in the way a lot at first as they take everything at face value and fall for the villain’s traps. The fact that they went straight to torturing the lead and nearly frying his brain was a really bad look for them. Come on now can’t they at least pretend to not act like the villains for a little while?

Overall, Paycheck is a pretty fun. On its surface it’s just a classic action thriller but the time manipulation and sci-fi elements help to make it stand out. It has some interesting themes there and while that’s never the focus, it is still a fun little thing to touch on even if it’s just temporary. I’d recommend checking this film out, it’s a solid cautionary tale about how technology can get really dangerous really quickly if you rely on it too much. At the end of the day I personally recommend not letting anyone mess with your memories, but hey that’s just me. Also important to note that even if you don’t remember something, it still happened. So Michael’s idea here about doing stuff since he won’t remember it later on…yeah not a very good idea.

Overall 7/10

Empire of the Ants Review

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Time for a foe that is just as scary as a spider…an ant! Look you don’t want to mess with Ants for a variety of reasons but one is that they always have numbers on their side. The plot of this film changes quite a bit as the film goes on and the second half in particular is very interesting with the route that was chosen. The ending isn’t quite as hype as the spiders film though but ultimately this one executes at a much higher level.

The movie starts by introducing us to a bunch of characters who are invited onto a private island to see if they want to buy it or invest in it. They are all supposed to be rich people who can afford such a lavish purchase but what the host doesn’t realize is…a good deal of them are not rich or have no interest in buying the property at all. They’re just here to mess around and eat the free food. It also appears that this place is a scam anyway which is why it’s being offered away so aggressively. Unfortunately the danger isn’t merely to the pocket books as harmful chemicals have given the ants an attack boost. They are now massive and can rip people apart with ease. Can our heroes hold their own against these guys or are they doomed?

The film starts out quite poorly with one guy getting a girl alone and attacking her. She barely manages to fend him off but rather than murdering him or having the guy arrested she doesn’t really report this to anyone and just leaves. The guy’s boss also doesn’t do anything so from this point on you’re really just waiting for the ant to eat him. Like come on why are you starting the film like this. The whole intro is a bit slow as the characters all talk but most of them seem to hate each other and there’s a ton of very awkward small talk. It’s awkward by design of course but it does make for a fairly slow pace. Gradually they start to pair up and get along but you’re really just waiting for the ants to show up.

Sure enough they appear to start murdering people one by one. A good chunk of the film is about running around and trying to dodge ants. There are always various forks in the road so the characters will split up and you try to decide which ones made the wrong call. To an extent no route is that safe though so there is a lot of danger every which way. One thing the film does really good about showing though is that the ants are quite smart. They actively make plans and even try guiding the heroes into specific locations. Ants are generally pretty smart and have an advanced system within the tribe and so I’m glad we got to see that.

This part is fairly by the numbers but with so many annoying characters you are glad to see them get taken out. Some are more tragic than others though like an elderly couple that tries to hide in a house. You feel bad because it’s really a rough way to go when you’ve been around for so long. Like you lived to be 80 and then now you’re going to be eaten by ants? Just doesn’t feel right so that adds a tragic element to the film. The deaths can also be a little on the violent side. Not super overdone or anything. I think it’s just that enough of the death is shown so when you add it to how you imagine it would feel to be eaten alive and it’s a really rough picture.

As I mentioned the second half is where things get really interesting though. So the survivors make it over to a nearby town where everyone seems really nice but secretive. They don’t want the heroes to leave the town or anything like that. A little strange…but okay. So the heroes need to get out fast now but they will be up against the full might of the U.S. Government. There are a lot of secrets being held here and the biggest one really comes out of nowhere. It’s definitely an interesting moment though and explains why the place is so unnerving. I thought it was a brilliant twist but this really should have been the bulk of the movie. It’s just got so much potential and I feel like we didn’t stay here long enough.

Honestly if you focus on the second half I do think you could have actually gotten a pretty high score for the film. Remove the most annoying characters as well and treat this like a Twilight Zone episode. I feel like it was almost there, the whole thing was so close to being awesome and it just could not seal the deal. The two halves almost feel like completely different films and you don’t see that very often.

Overall, Empire of the Ants is not a film that I would rank very high. Too many annoying characters everywhere and while the dialogue can be rather funny, I don’t think the writing is great. The twists are a whole lot of fun but you will have some big questions about a few and won’t have time to get the answers. The ending gets really convenient really quickly and just makes the villains look super sloppy as opposed to making the heroes look like geniuses. The moves just should not have worked and so I was real skeptical. Still, I applaud the film taking things in such a different direction because I really did not see that coming. It came as a real big surprise and absolutely elevated the film because if we were just talking about the first half then we would have been in trouble.

Overall 5/10

Kingdom of the Spiders Review

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It’s time for a story about evil spiders so you know that this is going to be intense. Spiders do not hold back and I can tell you that from experience. I personally don’t think they’re quite as scary as the movies would have you believe but then again I’ve never come face to face with one of those huge ones in real life. I’ve only been around the smaller variety. This movie is a pretty intense thriller through and through with a really solid ending but the characters are not amazing and there is some serious plot armor here.

Okay so the story starts off with Rack messing around. He’s probably the best doctor in this small town in part because he’s the only one. When a horse dies from some venom randomly he’s kind of puzzled but calls in an expert. Diane shows up and explains that it was a spider bite but Rack doesn’t take her seriously for a moment and keeps flirting with her. He’s also busy flirting with another girl but gets mistaken for his dead brother which ruins that moment. Rack just wants romance! So he keeps trying with everyone but what the town really needs is for someone to focus because the death count starts to increase. Even the farm dog gets murdered which the film added as a little punch to the gut for any viewers who were hoping for a high quality experience. It turns out that Diane was right and an army of spiders are approaching to destroy everyone, all around the world. They’re going to destroy everyone Rack loves, starting with the people in the town. Can he stop them?

Now while I give Rack a lot of grief for being a completely patronizing, irresponsible jerk, things wouldn’t have changed much even if he took the threat seriously from the start. The reason comes down to a numbers advantage, there are millions and millions of spiders running around. They can tank fire by going underground and they can run really fast. Short of nuking the area or something like that you are not going to defeat them. The mayor wants to use some strong chemicals but aside from the fact that it would end up hurting a lot of humans as well, the spiders may be immune because they are mutant types.

So the town was always doomed. What was a bit surprising is that we actually see a large part of the fight onscreen. Usually you see the aftermath or something but no we see the spiders jumping people and taking them down. It’s a little hard to buy at face value but the film does put in some work to make it a little more plausible. For example, one bite is enough to seriously start to paralyze you and if you hit the ground then you’ll die right away because of the endless bites. So your best bet is not to get hit at all or to get bit once while running and the adrenaline will help you out.

It’s pretty tragic if anything seeing everyone get taken down though. The climax gets surprisingly violent with everyone being eaten alive. Even the mayor/sheriff had a bit of a grisly end there. I don’t know why people were trying to stop his car though except to doom them all. Like those people are already dead men walking so at least let this guy escape right? Ah well I suppose that wasn’t in the cards. Now the film does bend this law a bit though which is where the plot armor comes in.

So as I explained if you are bitten then it’s game over. You can just throw in the white flag because there is no getting away from this right? Wrong! Rack gets bit a ton of times and then hits the floor. By everything we’ve seen in the film that means he is dead and yet somehow he gathers up enough energy to recover and rejoin the rest of the cast. The scene made absolutely no sense and was completely annoying. You can’t just have plot armor like that for no reason. If they said he was a poison expert or something and was already immune for the most part then that would be fine but there’s no reason he should be alive here. I just can’t accept that.

It doesn’t help that he’s such a bad character too. The guy doesn’t take anything seriously and having more than one romance plot in the same movie is always a massive thumbs down. This guy’s not loyal nor is he trustworthy. You would not want to be paired with him because ultimately he’ll just see you as the next romance partner. It’s why Diane ended up being disappointing as she quickly ended up liking him anyway. There was no reason for that.

It’s too bad because the idea of trying to shelter in a house while spiders try to break in from all sides is pretty tense. The film just doesn’t execute particularly well. Any film with animals attacking you is likely to be a dicey one as that can quickly go into animal violence but it doesn’t need to happen. Why even have the dog appear at all? It’d be nice if the spiders had not gone after any animals and were just shredding the humans. They shouldn’t have any beef with the other wildlife right?

All that aside, the ending is really good though. It makes for a solid cliffhanger and is like something out of Resident Evil. The true horrors still await the main cast and you know that they are not in a good spot. I would argue that they aren’t quite doomed yet though. Given that the spiders are small I feel like you should be able to just make a break for it. They can’t bite you through your sneakers and if you run hard enough none of them should be able to climb up your pants. The tough part is just finding out how widespread these things are. If they go on for too long then you will get tired and eventually die but if not, then you have a chance. A sequel would have been very interesting here.

Overall, The Kingdom of the Spiders makes for an intense thriller but ultimately it made too many mistakes to get a passing grade. Having better characters would have gone a very long way to be honest because then you’re more invested in seeing the characters do well and overcome the audience. Without that it just feels like you aren’t going to be quite as engaged with the whole adventure and I wouldn’t really recommend this to anyone. It’s an interesting premise….but that’s not enough to save it.

Overall 2/10

The Preacher’s Wife Review

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Uh oh, it’s time for another Christmas film that I’ve got some issues with. I’m talking serious issues here that definitely do take away from the film. It’s aiming to be a fairly wholesome experience but by the time I’m done with it you’ll see why this didn’t actually work. It’s a shame because the film had some real potential here but ended up fumbling the bag by the end and leaves you wishing that it could have managed to make it to its full potential. It really should have been the next big thing but ultimately it was not to be.

So the movie starts off by introducing us to Henry who is having a hard time as the pastor of his Church lately. Everything in his life is just falling apart, he feels like he can’t get his message across to the congregation anymore and some of the community are starting to get into trouble. One was accused of robbing a store at gunpoint, another is being taken away into a foster home, etc. He also hasn’t made any time for his wife in a long while. Just as things look like they’re about to break, an angel named Dudley appears. He says that he will help make everything better and yet…it seems as if he is after Henry’s wife. If Henry doesn’t move fast then his wife may be gone for good, but how do you stop an angel with unimaginable power?

The bulk of my complaints with the film are about the angel here. As an angel Dudley should be a very virtuous being, one without any real faults who is here to help. If I’m being extra technical he shouldn’t even be a human who died and then became an angel since all will rise up together but there are different theories on that so I can let it slide even if I don’t agree with it. But at the very least he shouldn’t still be interested in romance. I think the plot is partially to hype up Julia as being so attractive that even the divine want her which if that was the film’s intent could be funny but I think the film just seriously wanted a romance which makes no sense here.

The film really goes hard into this plot as they go out on dates and Dudley looks visibly upset when he has to go back to his mission of getting Henry and Julia to be together. One of the worst scenes is the very last one where Julia wants him to stay and he says how he has to go and the two are basically sobbing internally until the guy runs off. We absolutely did not need a final kiss scene there or for both characters to be so filled with regret. It should have been a full break with Dudley just running off. He really didn’t feel like an angel, he was written to be too much like some ordinary joe.

That’s probably the character he should have been written as then. Just make him a friendly ghost who decided he wants to help Henry out to get over the fact that he died early. It doesn’t change much of the plot but makes his flaws a little more understandable. It would still be bad since he is being a homewrecker of course but at least it’s not an angel doing that. That’s just such a crazy plot all the way around. Come onnnnnnnnnn.

I’m afraid Julia is partially to blame here as well. It takes two to tango after all and she’s still having fun dancing with him and doing all of this stuff. She’s even called out on it by her mother and admits that she is window shopping. Look, this is all behavior that is completely inappropriate once you’re married. I actually do believe that guys and girls can be friends which is something that would get you booed off of a lot of streets but it’s a real thing. You just have to know the boundaries. What are those? No 1 on 1 sit down lunch “meetups” because that’s basically a date, absolutely no dancing all right. Let’s not get crazy here. Ice skating together like that is a bad idea because it’ll probably involve a lot of contact, mountain climbing, etc. So yeah a lot of activities are out of bounds now but hey that’s the price of picking your one true love and getting married. You have to acknowledge that your personal life will never be the same. As bad as Henry was throughout the whole film, Julia still has to stay strong on her end as long as they are married.

As for Henry, he was practically begging Julia to cheat on him throughout the movie. He did every single taboo that typically causes this to happen in real life. Completely ignoring her every day, always being outside, not showing her any kind of romance, etc. Part of what makes Henry so bad here is that there is absolutely no excuse. He’s busy yes but he’s not so busy that he couldn’t have made time for her if he actually cared. Choosing to visit someone at the hospital instead of going on the date with her was egregious for multiple reasons. One is that he could have just brought her to the hospital with him and then at least they’re still together. That’s pretty obvious right? He also could have stayed to personally explain this to her instead of ghosting her. Henry finally could have not told Dudley to take her on a date in his place. Henry was just so annoying here and then he has a scene near the end of the film where she makes him a hot chocolate and he ignores her to head out.

Why was that scene so bad? Well, it’s near the end of the film, past the point where he’s supposed to have mostly learned his lesson already. So this scene showed me that he hasn’t learned a single thing. He’s still making the same mistakes over and over and over again. One area where this film was particularly weak even compared to the original is his big confrontation with Dudley about the guy going after his wife. Henry mostly just does a lot of whining here when I was expecting him to be a little fiercer and more direct. Maybe punch the guy out or something right?

The movie does have good humor from start to finish though with some solid writing throughout. You will laugh from time to time because the burns are quite sharp. Outside of the problematic stuff I wrote about above, it can be a pretty wholesome movie as well. It’s just that it’s really hard to overlook the stuff I mentioned. In fact I would say it’s impossible because that’s part of the main plot of the film. So yeah it’s one of those things where whether you like it or not, it’s a big factor and that’s a shame.

Overall, The Preacher’s Wife is a film with a decent plot but one that it doesn’t fully understand. It really wanted to have fun with the premise of the main guy getting so distracted by tons of random stuff that his marriage starts to fall apart. You can do a lot with that plot but having the angel be the one slowly encouraging the wife to cheat is a massive no no. There’s no way he would be doing this much flirting and leading on. He wouldn’t forget his mission like that and it’s a very distracting part of the film. There are good things to be found here but on the whole I would have to give this a thumbs down as a result.

Overall 4/10