Tag Archives: Jason Statham

Safe Review

Posted on by
Reply

This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

All right it’s time for a classic action thriller kind of a film. That said, it does take a while to get going so you would actually think it’s more of a tragedy drama for the first half. Once the two main characters are united then we are in business with a lot of big action scenes though. I liked how the film had a ton of different players and factions involved which helped make the whole thing feel very grand but on the other hand the film just doesn’t stand out a lot. So it was good but I think a lot of it is gonna be fairly forgettable pretty soon.

So first up we have the plot with Luke. He used to be a cop but stuff happened and now he competes in underground boxing fights. Unfortunately his opponent was really weak so by mistake he won the fight with a single punch when he was supposed to lose. So the mafia retaliates by murdering his family and have decided to make his life a living hell until he destroys himself. Luke does his best to hang in there but they are true to their word and keep murdering anyone he talks to. Just when he decides to check out, he notices shady figure chasing after a little girl and decides he needs to help her first.

This takes us to our second main character, Mei. Mei is a super math prodigy with a photographic memory for numbers. She never forgets a number once she has seen it and so the villains want her so she can remember debts and their books. This way there’s no real evidence and it also makes shaking down the local businesses very efficient. Mei doesn’t want to do any of these things but she has no real choice and in the meantime they also use her mother as leverage although she dies early on and Mei finds this out. Still, what can a kid really do? One day she is able to make a break for it and then she bumps into Luke.

The idea of bringing the two characters together is pretty fun so I give the film credit there. Additionally, it’s not just one generic mafia group running around. We have the Russians, the Japanese, and then a corrupt group of cops who play ball with both of them. It helps keep things interesting because the different villain groups get in each other’s way in addition to the heroes trying to stay away from them. Ultimately Luke may even need to team up with one to stop the others and buy some time to get out on top.

I don’t think the film fully takes advantage of this angle though. I would have liked some more actual fights between them. We have the climax but for the most part each group does move on their own. The best scene of the groups actually interacting in a way was when both of them were on the line with the corrupt cop at the same time trying to outbid each other. That was really fun and is exactly the kind of interaction that I’m looking for here.

This is one of the few films where the actor playing Luke isn’t running around beating 20 guys with ease and showing off more martial arts. Luke can fight here but he’s not some kind of master level black belt. He’s a bit more humble this time around. I would have liked to have seen more action scenes to be honest but the ones that we got were fun. At the end of the film it’s heavily implied that he would have actually lost to his opponent so Mei had to step in. I think she made the right call there. Luke’s a fun lead and he does a good job but he doesn’t always make smart decisions. There are so many times in the film where realistically he should have died but the villains didn’t finish the job. In some cases it was intentional which is fine but in others we’re talking a bit of plot armor here.

It’s also why the first half isn’t as fun though. I was ready for the exciting chase scenes and all, not watching Luke just be super depressed as the villains mess him over and he doesn’t do much to stop them. What I thought was a real shame is that at the end he’s given the chance to avenge his family and doesn’t. Look….I know they’re going for the hero play here but Luke’s no hero and the way his family went out practically begs him to avenge them. I think he really should have taken the villain out, he’s come too far to stop now. Not anything drawn out mind you, it’s not like he should become a villain or anything. Just go in with a quick gunshot and then it’s all over. That’s absolutely what should have happened if you ask me.

Meanwhile Mei is a fun character. A lot of times the kids in these films can be annoying but she was actually helpful at times and she was also quick on the uptake. She knew that giving the villains too much info would mean that she was expendable so she did her best to strategize. She helped Luke out in the fights and in general wasn’t a burden. So she’s definitely got a thumbs up in my book as a quality character and I could see the two of them being a good duo in a future sequel.

While the film wasn’t always firing on all cylinders, the ending is pretty fun. For a film like this you do want some kind of happy ending and it’s even slightly sequel bait you could say. I think a sequel for this film would go over fairly well. The writing is on point and while the first half is slow, the second has good pacing. It does have to struggle a bit with utilizing all of the characters though. I was looking forward to seeing more action from Alex. He doesn’t really do anything until the closing minutes but apparently he’s a really top tier fighter. The scene of him taking down a whole squad was super impressive. The way he goes out is funny but he should have gotten another fight or two. This is where I go back to the issue of the film not properly utilizing all of the factions. Alex and the Mayor should have had a bigger role which could have led to more fights.

Overall, Safe is a good film. I have my share of issues that keep it from being pretty good like the really slow beginning. The film can also be a bit violent and torture happens but in general it’s got a fairly light tone. The film doesn’t dwell too much on the darker elements which is good. I’d also say it has good replay value because of how much is going on at all times. There’s a lot to absorb and at the end of the day it can be pretty fun. I’d recommend checking this out if you’re looking for an action title you haven’t checked out yet.

Overall 6/10

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw Review

Posted on by
2


I remember seeing the trailer for this film so many times in theaters. It always looked so good. This was easily one of the most exciting looking film trailers I had seen in quite a while and fortunately the movie absolutely delivers on this. The action here is absolutely on point and we have a great cast with lots of fun banter to back it up. This movie is the all around experience and a reminder that we need this movie series to keep on going for a long time. More spinoffs would be a good idea although I wouldn’t expect any of them to touch this title.

The movie starts off with a parallel showing us the lives of Hobbs and Shaw as they go through their day. They beat up on a bunch of enemies and show why they are the best at what they do. They are then called in to team up with each other to locate a powerful virus that has seemingly been stolen by a lady named Hattie who allegedly betrayed her team. What makes this complicated is that she is Shaw’s sister and that either way he doesn’t wan to team up with Hobbs. They will have to put their differences to the side quick because a metahuman named Brixton is on their tail and he is not someone that you want to mess with.

First off the big draw of this film is the endless banter with Hobbs and Shaw. They can’t stand each other and they make no attempt to hide this. Whenever one of them is on screen you can expect a lot of bickering and name calling. They are absolutely relentless with this but again it’s just great. They can be rather creative with all of the insults and they also take this really far like when Shaw intentionally sabotages Hobbs at the airport. That could have derailed the whole adventure for the heroes but fortunately Hobbs is always very resourceful.

This does lead to a great after credits scene with Shaw getting into a little trouble. The film adds in a lot of little bonus scenes and cliffhangers in the end which was pretty cool. There is certainly a whole lot for a sequel to tackle even if it appears that a sequel is never happening at this point. Hopefully they reconsider because there’s a lot more you can do with these characters. I can’t think of any duo currently active in cinema with banter that could come anywhere close to this. It’s just not happening.

There is a whole lot of action here but less in the way of car action than your average furious film. These guys are really confident in their hand to hand skills after all so that’s what the film really focuses on. Just the two characters really knocking the life out of all their opponents. They are taking villains down by the dozen and it’s great and it’s also why they needed to have someone with super powers in Brixton because otherwise there is no normal guy who could really handle these two. The battles here all live up to the hype and at most my only issue is that Brixton is so much stronger than the other two that this fight should have been over in an instant. There just isn’t a whole lot that they could do to injure him and all he needed to do was follow through on some of his hits.

Brixton did make for an interesting villain the whole time. He clearly doesn’t like being manipulated at all but isn’t really able to do much about it. It can work as a fun misdirect though because the whole time you’re expecting him to turn the tables on the true leader and it just doesn’t happen. The true leader seems interesting but of course we haven’t gotten to see him yet since he was being saved for the sequel. In the end that proved to not be the best call since we may not see him but on the plus side that means he will always look very impressive since he may never lose in the franchise.

As always Hobbs is a great character. He constantly has comebacks for every insult someone tries to throw at him. Additionally he talks really tough even while the heroes are being zapped which takes a whole lot of will and determination. Not just anyone can continue to hurl insults and such when they are at death’s door but he’s just built different like that. He is also really great at planning ahead as we see when the film ends.

Then we have Shaw who is also a lot of fun. I still say that Hobbs is a little more skilled in the end but Shaw is close enough where it is always a close fight. I’ve already spoken about how great their dynamic is but Shaw can also hold his own on the solo scenes. It was cool seeing him take out a bunch of thugs in the apartment and I like how he tries to always work smarter not harder. He’ll take an elevator if there is one instead of just jumping down and likes coming up with smart ways to avoid a fight. He was also very quick to try and protect Hattie when he finds out she is involved and never wavers in trying to protect her. He’s just a very high quality character.

As for Hattie, she had to make a pretty tough decision in absorbing the virus early on. She can fight well and while she may give up quicker than the other characters, the odds were pretty bad so you can see why she did that. She makes for a good heroine and can keep up with the main two with all the action going on around which is great. You don’t want a heroine who is panicking or anything like that while going through so you are definitely going to be satisfied here.

Then there is Hobbs’ brother Jonah who comes off as a bit of a jerk the whole time. Sure I guess Hobbs just up and left which wasn’t good but he’s working for the government and saves the world a whole lot. You’d think he would cut him some slack. Meanwhile Shaw’s Mom was a lot more entertaining. I like how she is always prepared and no jail can ever hope to keep her. It’s part of what makes her such a fun character since she only stays at jail for as long as she wants too.

There is a new character in the franchise named Victor who was actually rather fun. Certainly a rather random character I admit and I do think some of his scenes do tend to drag on a bit long. What I liked here is that he’s so unpredictable that you do get the feeling that he’s very dangerous. Even though his scenes always tend to be comedic, you get the feeling that the only reason he can joke around with Hobbs like this is because he’s so skilled that Hobbs can’t just bump him off so easily. I’d be interested in seeing this guy appear more and see what he can do. There’s also a fun cameo for air marshal Dinkley who is fun. Now this cameo may not have had much point to it even if he does help out once but it was neat to see him.

This film actually expanded the verse quite a bit which is good for a spinoff and it made the film feel a whole lot more important than it would have otherwise been. That’s what is very admirable here. Now when it comes to the soundtrack I will say that it’s less impressive than the main films. Some decent tunes in here but most of the songs just didn’t click for me. They may have been fast so they fit with the tone of the film but they just weren’t very good. The effects are top notch as always though.

What really makes this a great film is just how much replay value it has. The movie always has a very fun tone the whole time. You get your action scenes and hype dialogue as the characters get closer to their objectives but the film doesn’t slow down. We get a whole lot of big action scenes and then the film continues to top them over and over again. The only weak point of the film I would say is the romance which feels like it is just tacked on here. I gotta say that the characters are way too busy to worry about romance right now so they should be focusing on the fight. I’d also say some general power level issues throughout the film so you are going to have to suspend your disbelief a few times while the heroes are fighting.

Overall, Hobb & Shaw is a great film that I would recommend to anyone. I would say you don’t even need to watch the older films to understand this one. It works well enough as a stand alone title and with the basic premise of the two not getting along that is the only context that you really need. I could even rewatch this film now to be honest which is always a good sign. If they do surprise us with a sequel someday then I will definitely be ready but in the meantime I’m just glad that we got this one. Of course make sure you stick around after the credits because that last scene was just epic and a perfect way to end things off.

Overall 8/10

Cellular Review

Posted on by
Reply


This is one of those films with some fairly big names but I can’t remember ever seeing it anywhere. So it’s fairly obscure and I’d say the film turned out to be good. I’m not calling it great or anything but it was better than I expected. There’s a lot going on in here and it keeps this from just being another film about finding someone who’s being held captive.

The movie starts with Jessica getting kidnapped by a group of thugs led by Ethan. They want some kind of information in connection with her husband but she has no idea what they are even talking about. Fortunately while they may have broken the phone, she is able to repair the shards of it just enough to make calls. She brushes the cords together enough times until she is able to reach a guy called Ryan. He’s not really in the mood for any of this and figures it could be a trick either way. Still, he decides to humor her and eventually hears enough where he knows that this is real. It’s going to be difficult to get anyone to believe him though so it’s a race against time now.

Right off the bat I do think the whole plot is a tad convenient with the broken phone still being able to make calls. I mean the whole wires thing was creative but still I’m a little dubious about that being enough to actually get to a phone nearby. That random element just felt like the odds were a little too low for success and the whole movie is build around that premise. Beyond that the rest is believable enough and turns into your classic thriller film.

Ethan makes for a fairly intense villain. We don’t know a whole lot about him but you know enough to tell that he is serious about his threats. When it comes time for a fight he’s also a lot more skilled than the heroes but this isn’t really a full action movie which is lucky for them. There are a few other villains but none of them are quite as important for the most part. They definitely don’t get the same amount of screen time at least.

Unfortunately Ryan isn’t a great main character. I don’t blame him for thinking this is a trick at first. That part’s believable enough as this whole scenario is hard to buy into but he’s just not a very nice guy. He’s trying to get back together with his ex but when she gives him a basic task to complete…he gives it to his friend? How would that help his relationship with the girl at all? I feel like that plot didn’t make much sense and just confirms her suspicions on him not being very mature. It’s no wonder that they weren’t together anymore.

I suppose part of the film’s goal is to show how he gets more mature throughout the film but considering how short the time frame is here it’s hard to really say that. Being in the middle of a very stressful situation isn’t a great way to really see development after all. As for Jessica, well there’s not a whole lot that she can do either way so I’d say she did well enough. It’s not like getting captured was her fault and she fights well in trying to get out. So all in all I would give her character a thumbs up.

Her husband Craig looks awful though. His role is small but he basically got her into this whole situation and is not a reliable guy. I’d argue that he didn’t think ahead at all and he should have been able to warn her ahead of time. I did like Officer Mooney though. He’s getting ready to retire but when this situation comes up he figures he can help out one last time. He goes above and beyond the call of duty in getting mixed up with this when he could have just walked out into retirement. I have to give him some solid credit for that. He is quick with the trigger and isn’t an easy mark for anyone.

It’s easy to say that he’s the best hero in the film. I dare say he would have held up way better than Ryan as the lead. His plot has some intrigue to it as things don’t line up with the cops and it adds an extra layer of mystery to the whole thing. Ryan doesn’t have as much time to really dwell on this since he’s always on the move while Mooney is able to put the pieces together. Chad is Ryan’s best friend but the guy has almost no purpose being in the film. I guess the film has him try to be funny but it doesn’t work. Then there’s the ex Chloe who probably should have held her ground in staying away from Ryan. It’s clear that this guy is trouble.

The movie does have some decent comedy scenes like when Ryan broke into the phone company and flashed his gun. After how he tried so many times to do things peacefully, it was a good way to end that. Then I also liked that lawyer that Ryan bumped into. The guy may have been a bit exaggerated in how standoffish he was, but it made for some great moments. I’m a bit mixed on how the cell signals could just cross like that but I’ll assume it’s possible. It definitely helped to increase the stakes as well as the issue of not dropping the signal or Ryan would have no way to contact the lady again. Above it all though, the lawyer was just really funny in all of his scenes.

In a lot of ways the film is very by the books. The gimmick is unique with the whole cell phone angle but beyond that there isn’t much that stands out. I would say the thriller elements are exciting enough where this is a good movie even if it’s not great. I didn’t have many issues with it at all. The heroes could be a bit on the annoying side without a doubt (Ryan executed his final plan horribly. If not for Mooney he would have been doomed. Maybe choosing the park where everyone knows him was a bad idea…) but the pacing was quick and so the film glides by. It doesn’t drag on and so there’s a good amount of replay value. I’d be able to rewatch this one fairly quick even though I just saw it.

Overall, If you’re looking for a fun thriller movie that you haven’t watched before then this is a good one to check out. It’s a fairly light adventure that doesn’t feel high budget or anything but it doesn’t make mistakes either. I feel like a good amount of effort was put into this one and I’d be cool with a sequel or another film using this gimmick. I think there’s a lot you could do with it but I would find some other way for the main character to be contacted. A broken phone just doesn’t make a lot of sense for me.

Overall 7/10

Parker Review

Posted on by
2

This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Time for one of those classic revenge thriller films. Parker doesn’t really try to break out of the ordinary but the execution is strong enough where that’s not really a concern. It’s an entertaining film that’s rather solid and at the end of the day that’s all that you need. The ending reminds me of Blade and John Wick too. This could have become a pretty fun franchise but I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

The movie starts with Parker completing another mission with a group of thieves. They’re rookies that made a lot of mistakes but at least they’re alive. That’s when one of them decides to change the terms of the deal and tells Parker he can either help them out on another caper and put all of his money in the pot or get shot. Parker decides to get shot so he’s wrecked and left for dead. Fortunately a passing family was able to nurse him back to health. Parker wants revenge now and he will do whatever it takes to track these guys down.

Meanwhile in the B plot you have Leslie who is really trying to sell houses and make a name for herself but it’s been tough. She’s been upstages by her coworkers for a while now and her current life just feels rather empty. Well, one day she notices Parker and what a shady fellow he is and figures this is her big chance to get rich. If she plays her cards right then a whole new life will open up for her but if she makes any mistakes this could be curtains. The two plots certainly feel very different and it’s a little while until she actually appears but of course the plots do line up.

Right off the bat I can tell you that the inevitable romance is not very good. One thing to consider here is that Parker already has a steady girlfriend in Claire. So as soon as Leslie appears you already know that Parker is taken so any romance that starts up will really make him look bad. Unfortunately he doesn’t stay totally strong and reject her so we do have a brief romance stint here which is completely unneeded. It’s really the definition of having this here to meet the romance quota when it would have been perfectly reasonable to have just had them stay as friends. Would have made a whole lot more sense too.

With the main plot being about chasing the mobsters, you do want to have more going on since this is rather basic. None of them stand a chance against Parker and they know it so all they can do is put enough annoyances in his way to try and slow the guy down. Every time Parker closes in on the mobster there’s a whole other level to this. The actual leader is hard to find even with Parker’s connections. They definitely move around a lot but the fights are good when they happen. Parker definitely knows how to fight when it’s time to rumble.

His only disappointing scene is at the very beginning when he gets into the car and seems to not have any real plan before getting shot. He really should have died there and is supremely lucky that things didn’t work out. It would have been a rather underwhelming way to go out and you feel like he should have been able to handle things a little better with how experienced he likely is by this point.

As for Claire, she has much more reason to make mistakes because this just isn’t her field. Just a day ago she was a normal real estate agent and now she’s in the field with all kinds of dangerous threats. You can absolutely excuse her not always knowing the right thing to do but I can’t afford the same to Parker. Leslie is ultimately a fun heroine. Her mother and dog also make for fairly decent supporting characters.

Claire doesn’t appear a whole lot but she gets some points for not nagging Parker the whole time and she is quick to come over and patch him up when the guy gets injured. She makes it clear that she is in his corner the whole time. Then you have Hurley who is definitely a solid character. As the experienced veteran in the room he is able to follow what Parker is saying the whole time and has a lot of connections of his own. He may not be young enough to get into the field nowadays but he does contribute a whole lot.

None of the villains are all that memorable though. Picture any random mobster and you’ve got these guys. From the start it was a bad idea to double cross Parker and move on to this mission. If they had just waited a while and suggested it peacefully then maybe he would have been on board. Either way why do a double cross there and add a huge risk to the operation. For all they knew the car could have crashed or Parker could have shot a few of them and that would wreck their entire plan.

I enjoyed the heist from the beginning of the film though. The villains may have messed it up but it’s cool to see all of what was going on. The costumes were good and Parker did have a solid disguise on which definitely made the scene a little funny even during the hold up. His Texas accent was also pretty good and that made for a lot of fun scenes. The film knew how to handle its humor for sure and those would be some of the best scenes.

The action moments still get tense of course and so this balances out into a good film. It’s not quite solid enough around the board for me to take it to the next level but it definitely never gets boring. It’s got a good amount of replay value and the writing is good enough. The fights are good and we really get to learn a good amount about the cast. So if they wanted to make a franchise out of this it would have been a good idea.

Overall, Parker is a good action movie. It’s very by the numbers for the most part but I wouldn’t say any part of the movie is phoned in. It’s still got a good amount of effort behind it at all times. It’s going in a lot of different directions are far as the tone is concerned and that could work well in a sequel too. Or if they want to go with one tone and stick to it that would work too since they were all solid. The film’s probably forgotten by most by now but give it a shot if you come across it.

Overall 6/10

The Expendables Review

Posted on by
Reply

This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

This is definitely a film that you had to have seen around a lot back in the day. It got quite a bit of promotion because of how many big names it was grabbing. The concept was always solid as well with all the action going on. Well, the film lives up to the hype pretty well for the most part although if you’re watching some specific characters then you won’t be in luck here.

The movie starts with Barney’s squad of Expendables saving some hostages and destroying the terrorists. One of their members (Gunner) goes too far with this though and Barney is forced to take him off the team. He then receives a new mission for the team by the mysterious Mr. Church. The group has to head to Viena where there is a lot of strife going on right now. The people are suffering as a group of rogue American forces have conspired with the King to take the place over. The heroes have to take out General Garza which should effectively stop this movement in its tracks. If they do that they things can finally go back to normal. This is an extremely difficult mission though where the heroes will be heavily outnumbered. Can their band really take out a whole army?

The film starts off with a lot of action right off the gate which is good. I also liked how for once the heroes didn’t just drop their guns when the villains took a hostage. I’ve mentioned in the past how this is always a bad idea and the characters here seemed to know it. In general the Expendables are very reluctant to drop their guns which is good. If you do that then the villains can just take out the hostage and your group at the same time. We also got the “traitor” fairly early on with Gunner. Cracking immediately was not a good look for him although apparently it just tends to happen to guys who are in the field for too long.

We get the best scene in the film very early on though as Barney gets his assignment from Church and then Trench shows up. Both Church and Trench don’t really do anything for the rest of the film which is unfortunate but it was such a fun scene to have the 3 of them in the same room like that. The banter and hype levels in that scene where through the roof. It was only one scene but you could already see a solid dynamic between the characters.

That’s really one of the biggest strengths of the film. The characters all have big egos and are top notch in their respective fields. Only the best of the best can be Expendables and if you are in a position where you’re a rival or working for Church then you’re at that level too. So there’s a lot of tough talk throughout the film and it works well. The banter here is very strong and the writing is definitely on point. I don’t think the film would be nearly as good without that. Even the villains talk tough to each other the whole time. In this movie, everyone can talk tough and everyone can fight hard which makes for a good balance.

Then of course there is a lot of action throughout the movie as well. The gun fights don’t hold back and we also get a lot of close combat battles as well. The film never really runs out of explosions and fighting. The highlight fight would probably be Yin taking on Gunner since that felt like a real boss fight. Of course seeing the heroes beating up on the random minions is cool too and all but it’s always nice when you have a villain who can really fight back as well. The characters all have different fighting styles too which works out well so it’s not all the same kind of action scene throughout.

The movie has some decent themes as well. They may not be super memorable or anything but they work well enough with the scenes. Expendables is a film that moves fairly quick so you’ll be at the end of the film in no time. There isn’t a whole lot of down time between action scenes either. So as long as you’re enjoying the hype of all these characters looking so good then you’re definitely going to have a blast here.

While the movie is very intense, I would say a lot of the action is very stylized so it’s not too bad. It’s much more like John Wick than Halloween for example. So most of the scenes are over quick and I wouldn’t say they dwell on the violent scenes. The only scene that was a bit much is when Sandra is tortured by the villains through waterboarding. I definitely could have done without that as that’s always the kind of grit I’d rather the film just skips. We know these guys are villains and don’t really need to go any further than that. It hurts the film’s momentum a bit there.

That’s really the only issue I had with the film though. Beyond that you’ve got a fun cast and lots of action which is always a good combo. Barney works well as the main character and clearly has a lot of experience here. Without him getting the group set they probably would have been in for a rough time. You also get the impression that he is the glue that keeps the team together. He’s always got a quick comment ready to defuse any situation as needed. That’s not something that just anyone could do.

Christmas is a solid right hand man as well. I like his confidence and he may be the only character who surpasses Barney in that aspect. Christmas really isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty and may be the best close quarters fighter in the group aside from Yin. You can always count on Christmas to get in there and get the job done. He also has the best working relationship with Barney and their banter is a lot of fun.

Now, if you are a fan of the Expendables as a team then you may be disappointed that quite a few of their members don’t do much. Aside from the main two who spend most of the film without the rest of the group, the only ones to do much of anything are Gunner and Yin. The rest are saved until the climax where they help out but the film is nearly over by then. For Yin, he’s a solid fighter but I was surprised that he wasn’t a bit stronger.

The whole time you figure that he is absolutely going to crush his opponent and instead he’s on the losing side. Perhaps that’s not so bad but as his first big fight you just expected him to do better. I suppose martial arts aren’t as handy when you’re fighting someone who is already an expert fighter in their own right but I still thought it would go down a bit differently.

As for Gunner, well I definitely didn’t like him. The guy completely cracked and the first thing he thinks to do is to join the other side? Nah, I don’t want someone like that on my side. That means you can absolutely never trust him again and so that really means that he’s an absolute liability. Once you go traitor you don’t really go back so easily.

As for the heroine Sandra, well she gets a lot of credit for being so tough under pressure. Ultimately she never betrays her ideals and also stays home until the very end. It may have been wise to leave but now she can proudly tell her people that she was here from start to finish. It was definitely not an easy journey either. The villains really gave her a tough time here. As for the villains themselves, well Garza got better by the end but he’s really not smart at all. The scene where he starts to give a big speech while surrounded by the other villains was a really horrible idea and you can immediately tell how that’s going to go.

As for Monroe, well he’s your classic villain leader who just wants a lot of power. Not much to say about him and I can’t say that I liked the guy at all. Posturing is all good and well to an extent but beyond that you need more of a big plan to stay in power. Even if things didn’t go great for the Expendables he still would have been doomed down the line.

Oh yeah there’s also a small romance subplot where Christmas finds out that his girlfriend is cheating on him. It feels like an extremely random subplot to be sure and that should have definitely ended the romance right away. There wasn’t much of a good excuse either. In their line of work the Expendables probably shouldn’t start a romance anyway since it might end badly though. At that point you should probably just fly solo because it’s such a dangerous profession.

Overall, The first Expendables film is pretty fun. It’s nice to get the nonstop action here as the heroes all show their stuff. I look forward to Church and Trench getting bigger roles next time though. They had the best scene here so imagine what they can do with some real screen time? The rest of the Expendables squad needs to get more action next time too though because you could really say that over half of this film is just the Barney and Christmas show. The others really got the shaft for the vast majority of the film.

Overall 6/10

Transporter 3 Review

Posted on by
Reply


It’s time to look at the final film in the trilogy. The first two Transporter films were both pretty solid. I thought the second beat the first by a narrow margin. Unfortunately this one is quite a bit weaker than the first two. Essentially it’s going for similar themes and fights, but just ends up weaker in every area compared to the first two. While I wouldn’t say this is an inherently bad thing as losing to good films isn’t a problem, this film just isn’t that good. I’d say it does just enough to skate by on not being called a bad film but it’s a little too close to the line for comfort. It’s a shame because the film has quite a lot of potential with the premise alone.

So the film starts off with some scenes involving a giant boat trying to land but realizing that it can’t. The captain calls his Russian mafia friends and they confirm that they are close to finishing off the deal. They seem to have some kind of blackmail on the environmental minister. He’ll be signing their papers in a day so that they can offload all of their boats. The minister sends his men in to stop this but only a day is a pretty tough timeline. Meanwhile Frank is enjoying retirement. He turned down the latest assignment to transport and just relaxes with some fishing. Unfortunately his day is ruined when an old friend bursts through his window in a car along with a lady named Valentina. The guy dies since he goes too far from the car and then Frank gets mugged. He is forced by the villains to take the job of transporting a few packages along with Valentina to a far away destination. Now that Frank has the wrist device he also can’t go too far from the car or he will be blown up. The problem is that he and Valentina don’t get along at all. She’s quite antagonistic the whole time despite Frank’s best efforts. Looks like it’s up to him to get out of this situation.

I will say that the film’s beginning had a few warning bells. Nothing too serious to be honest so I don’t want to overstate it. The film’s problems would get worse as it went along. Still, the intro was rather dull. The scenes on the boat still feel pretty pointless to me. At the very least I don’t see why you would start with these scenes. Some guys break into the cargo area and die to the poison? I suppose this is to tip us off that the boat is related to criminal activity…but that was pretty obvious from the jump. The boat characters maybe appear for 2-3 minutes total for the rest of the film. We then cut away to fishing which also isn’t very exciting. The only good part here is the car chase while Frank narrates over it. It’s just a very slow beginning.

The other warning sign is that Frank doesn’t look very intelligent at all. He notices that his friend has a weird tech thing on his arm and the friend begs him not to let them take him to an ambulance. Frank ignores this and after they take him away finally realizes that it’s because the thing on his arm was a bomb. The friend dies of course. So….maybe we can cut Frank some slack because this might not be a common device. You see it all the time in movies but we could say it’s not normal. Still, you’d expect him to be a lot more on the ball with this. Getting knocked out shortly afterwards wasn’t a good look for him either although to be fair he gets quite a habit of getting beaten up when it’s a sneak attack.

I don’t mind the idea of having to stay close to the car though. It’s a good way to build up tension. You may have a hard time believing how he catches up to the car at times but it’s a solid plot gimmick nonetheless. Additionally, I still do like the fights in Transporter 3 even though they are a noticeable downgrade from the first two films. Gone are the days when Frank would win his fights with advanced martial art techniques. One thing I really liked about the first film was that he was shown to be an expert fighter. He was using crazy hand to hand techniques you’d never seen. I’d actually say as a pure fighter he is even better than Jason Bourne, Ethan Hunt, Dwayne Johnson, and James Bond. This guy is just an excellent fighter without a doubt. In this film he uses more basic moves. He still beats everyone up and looks generally impressive but the choreography isn’t at the same level. There are a ton of jump cuts. For that reason, the opening fight in the flashback is easily my favorite fight scene in the film. I thought a lot more effort was put into this one than the others that would come later on.

Where the film goes wrong is really with the main heroine and the inevitable romance that follows. Valentina is one of those characters who gives Frank quite an attitude the whole time. Typically I’m okay with characters having some attitude. She has no reason to trust this guy and it’s a stressful situation right? Well, the problem is that this isn’t totally true. We learn later on some interesting twists about her character but they completely contradict her actions. The film would have been so much easier and quicker if she had been upfront with him. Her reason for staying quiet at the end of the film is comically bad. It’s just hard to understand what’s going through her head. Not only is she unhelpful but she actively puts them in danger like with the whole scene in the grocery store.

This long scene which involves her getting drunk and really just undermining her character makes her look really bad. I can’t cut her any slack for these actions “because she was drunk” because she knowingly chose to get drunk and high during a situation when they need to stay sharp and not die. She also forces a romance between her and Frank by blackmailing him with a bomb. Seriously? That’s got to be one of the worst romance starters I’ve seen in a long time. Literally if he says no he blows up and he can’t walk away either…or he will blow up. Not a whole lot of options to him and she has fun humiliating him for a while. Naturally he ends up enjoying the romance so it’s not a problem for him but this was a really, really bad scene. This plotline was bad from start to finish.

Valentina’s character never rises above this. She tries to be supportive later on but it’s too little too late. I’d also mention that she does a poor job of trying to get the villain driver to slow the car when Frank is behind them. All right, that’s enough on her character. Frank is a decent lead but he looks far worse than in the last two installments. Putting aside the romance and his getting mugged at the beginning of the film in addition to him not realizing about the friend, he even endangers his friend. It’s a comedy scene but he heads to a mechanic he knows and asks the guy to look over the car. We then get a big fight scene where the film resists the urge to use oil for a third time straight although you know it was close since they were fighting with cannisters. The friend asks if it’ll be okay since all of these big villains will wake up soon and Frank just says to go home. They all saw the guy’s face and presumably know his name. Frank just didn’t seem to care. We also just generally get less scenes of Frank humiliating everyone with how good he is in a fight. The guy is an old pro at how this works so showing more of that like in the first two films would be a good idea.

I’d also argue that the final scene of using the bomb with the main villain put Valentina in danger needlessly. As it is the explosion threw her under some rubble. She was okay but it could have very easily gone sideways and her death would have been really pointless there. Frank just can’t help but show off I suppose. The Inspector returns as a supporting character but his scenes feel a little pointless at this point. It’s the same ole jokes from the first two films and he’s always far too late to really do anything. He seems like a nice enough guy I suppose but you get the feeling that he was squeezed in.

Man, this is sounding like a negative review right? I’d say it’s just because the negatives of the film are so noticeable. The positives are still there but just not as strong as they could be. The soundtrack is pretty solid for the fights. I’d say that the lyrical songs we get are pretty weak though. The film succeeds as a thriller in the sense that we do have a lot of nonstop action and fights when the characters are on the road. I enjoyed the chase scene where you have the two black cars on the highway. The cars looking almost identical works pretty well for solid visuals while they’re bumping back and forth. There was some nice strategy used here as well. In general the film always delivers with the chases. There are less jump cuts than with the hand to hand fights as well which is good.

Overall, Transporter 3 is a downgrade from the first 2. The heroine is no good and her actions just don’t make sense especially once we get her flashbacks. It’s a shame because her character had potential as a tough female lead who could keep up with Frank. Her father is certainly presented as a tough figure at least. He actually talks back to villains and doesn’t just roll over with the blackmail. The guy’s got a ton of pull for an environmental leader. I didn’t realize they were quite so tough. At the same time, Russia always has a rep for being very tough so it was nice to see this guy keep that persona as opposed to losing it just because he was a good guy here. If you liked the first two films then you should still check this one out since it completes the saga. It’ll still deliver on the usual action and fight scenes that you would expect. The writing and everything else just experience a bit of a decline here so it’s easy to see why they didn’t go forward with another one in this saga. I think someday they should do a nostalgia fourth film though. The film just needs to focus more on the Transporter angle and give us some solid fight scenes.

Overall 5/10