Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

Unforgiven Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Unforgiven is basically a wild west film with the classic theme of revenge. It’s going for a fairly somber tone with the main character having to contend with his past. The premise isn’t bad since that’s really classic for doing a solid revenge film about someone getting back into the game but the film ultimately misses its cues to make this the next big epic that you will never forget. Ultimately I just couldn’t land it near the top.

The movie starts off with a rather intense scene as a villain beats up on a lady and disfigures her. The guy gets off very light without having to go to jail or get beaten which shows how corrupt the town is. The ladies are prostitutes so unfortunately the town doesn’t really care to avenge the lady. The group takes it upon themselves to do this and issue out a warrant for the murder of the guy who slashed up the lady and his partner. Word reaches out to a young man who figures this is his chance to get rich. He ends up recruiting a legendary gunfighter named Will and Wil brings in his friend Ned. Between the 3 fighters they have a young guy who doesn’t really know how to fight, an old man who has long since stopped fighting and doesn’t have the edge anymore, and a guy who lives a life of peace now and may not be able to take the shot when it counts. The odds are not in their favor.

Whenever you have a film about a character having to go back to his old ways of fighting it can be tricky for the character because he may just not have the stuff anymore. Some characters keep honing their skills of course but others don’t because they figure that life will never come back. That’s the case with Will who may have been the best a long time ago but now he’s feeling his age. The guy’s worst scene has to be when he walks into the bar and just gets clobbered by Little Bill and his men. This is where I feel like you have to take your gun out and start shooting because he very easily could have just been murdered there.

Seriously when you have a gun, you have to use it. Even when you’re outnumbered there, you’re probably going to die anyway so what’s really the benefit in holding back? He makes up for it by the end but I was just surprised at how the scene went. In a way it ended up just being the same as the first group who showed up and promptly got destroyed by Little Bill. Bill definitely got a lot of hype in the movie that’s for sure.

There’s a whole subplot of Bill telling an aspiring author about how the wild west really works and all. He’s all about accuracy over speed and why he’s the best one out there. I do agree with him on always going for the best shooter if you’re facing off with a group. I’m more a fan of the quickdraw myself so I don’t fully agree with him there. Of course you do need accuracy too but if you’re a quicker shot and land a bullet anywhere then you’re in business. If you’re a step too slow then it’s likely game over right out of the gate.

Bill makes for an impressive villain in just how determined he is to make sure there are no assassins in his town. He’s a corrupt sheriff and one who wants to keep complete power. He has no respect for anyone who brings a gun onto his property. Again you’d think people would use their guns before they are stomped into submission but that’s how it goes I suppose. He’s a very memorable character which is always good and it’s a way for you to always end up remembering this film no matter what happens.

Meanwhile The Kid on the hero’s side was definitely just annoying the whole time. He didn’t have what it took to keep on blasting and nearly ended up costing Will everything. He talked a big game but choked when it counted and that’s typically the worst kind of character. He definitely should have just stayed quiet in the back. Instead he really put himself in a twist. Then there’s Ned who is a decent character but I wasn’t a big fan of his either. Deciding to leave midway through the adventure was not a great move. Of course there’s no way for him to have known that he would be caught but of course it did put the other two characters in a tricky spot. Again I’d also say you need to try shooting because if you’re captured then it’ll end up being a fate worse than death.

Will had a great climax but it would have been nice if he could have stayed strong the whole time. No taking that last drink and undoing all of the work his wife had put in to getting him off the habit. It was definitely a metaphor kind of moment for showing that he went all the way back. Of course we can say he went back to being all good after the ending here but I think it would have been a much stronger performance if he went in and took everyone out without the drink. Just show that he would use the skills one last time and he’s doing it for a friend so it’s different than if he was just doing it to be a murderer.

The film fits in a lot of lore and backstory around the plot so I will say that they made sure every bit of the story was covered. I had a lot of issues with the film but the story itself was sound and the final fight that we did get was good. It’s not a film that’s without its positives, they just ended up being outnumbered by the negatives rather strongly in this case.

If the film could tone down the grit here then we’d be in a much better spot. The opening scene really starts the film off on the wrong note and it’s hard to recover from something like that. All the beatings in the film extend for quite a while and then seeing Will just get beaten up at the bar without fighting back was rough. The fact that the other two heroes were taking their payment in advance was also pretty awful. C’mon now these people are obviously in distress and doing whatever they can for the heroes to right the wrongs so actually taking them up on this is crazy. The film could have done with more heroic characters that’s for sure. This is definitely more of a jaded wild west story and you can feel it.

Overall, In trying to dismantle the wild west genre the film only serves to dismantle itself. It focuses too hard on being gritty and having none of the characters be an awe inspiring hero instead of just being an epic film. Ultimately this one won’t compete with the classic wild west titles even if the climax was really good. They always say to end on a good note so I can at least give the film that defense. It ended on the best note possible and if the whole film had been like that then we’d be having a very different conversation.

Overall 3/10

3:10 to Yuma (2007) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

3:10 to Yuma was a pretty fun film back when I saw the original and this remake does it justice. It’s a remake that keeps very close to the original with minimal changes but they work well. The lead’s wife gets less of a role here as his son gets to do more instead but the film makes the main villain and his right hand man a little more memorable. Ultimately it’s close but I would say this one does beat the original. There’s a whole lot to enjoy here.

The movie starts off with Dan in a rather rough place. He isn’t very well off as it is and then gets all his stuff stolen and burned due to the debts he has. It gets worse when he watches someone get robbed and does not help. Now he feels like his kids won’t respect him as much and so this leads him to join in with a posse to stop the legendary robber Ben. It’s actually not a job that sounds very hard. Ben has already been wrapped up by the proper authorities. Dan just needs to get him to a town where he will be taken in to jail. They just have to last a few days until the train pulls in. The only real complication is making sure that Ben doesn’t get into their heads. Most of the fighters are in the same boat as Dan. They have big debts and need money badly. Often times money can really mess with your morals and of course if there are less people around then each person’s cut of the money might be a little bigger eh?

Perhaps you can cut a deal with Ben rather than getting money from the company. Either way Ben may be the guy in handcuffs but Dan and the others are the ones who feel outnumbered. Another complication is that Ben’s crew is very loyal. Particularly his right hand man Charlie who will not rest until he has found Ben and freed him from these guys. Dan may have bitten off more than he can chew but at the same time he knows there is no turning back now. His honor and reputation is on the line right now.

Now there’s always a question of how far is too far with honor. Of course you need to do the right thing always and you can’t stop on that. The real question is if you should be risking your life for respect when it’s something you don’t actually need to do. In this case Dan absolutely could have stayed home and lived a decent life. Sure he would not have been known as a tough guy but he’d be around. I think if he was doing this because he really wanted to see justice done then that’s one thing but I’d say he should have stayed home after getting the money. It’s not like he’s trained as a police officer or anything like that.

That said, I agree with him on staying to see it through once he was there. It’s not like it went any better for the guys who left since they all got shot anyway. Particularly back in the wild west I never get why people just leave and assume the villain will keep their word. Seriously you’re just going to get shot right away I can guarantee it. So instead of putting your gun down you should at least go out blazing. Maybe you take one or two of them with you. Ideally you take out the villain leader that way. When you have a gun like this, you can always guarantee mutual destruction for at least one person.

Meanwhile Ben is a great villain and I would even say the best character in the film. He’s a villain through and through but at least he is one who has his own set of principles and an honor code. He’s not just going around blasting everyone randomly. He steals and generally does whatever he wants but he’s not going after kids or anyone who is not in his way. For example he was not going to go after Dan initially and he let him go. Then by the end he was actually helping out a whole lot in trying to get Dan to safety.

I also liked the fact that Ben was shown to be a great shot. He was probably the most skilled fighter in the whole movie and that really goes to show how he wasn’t trying to hurt the main characters. If he wanted them dead then they would absolutely be dead. The film is fairly light on gun fights but at the end his fight scene is really impressive. Definitely not someone that most of the characters could dream of taking on.

I’d say the only one who was close would be Charlie and to an extent you feel bad for him. He’s definitely a cruel villain and someone who has no mercy but he is loyal. He never waivered in his mission to help Ben out of the jam and really didn’t take any disrespect towards the guy. If Ben actually was as evil as the rest of the characters thought he was then these two would have been the perfect duo and really impossible to stop. So when they have to fight it’s one of the most emotional moments in the film to be sure.

Yeah this is definitely a very satisfying film all around. It’s also a movie where I think you can take a message about being careful what fights you jump into. You may not start a fight but after you jump in you suddenly find yourself as the last one standing. Everyone abandoned Dan by the end and of course there were legitimate reasons for doing so. The mission did start to seem impossible so you definitely get it and Dan had his own reasons for sticking around but it’s got to be tough when everyone is just gone like that.

Perhaps it’s better that way in this case though as most of the other “heroes” were extremely annoying. You had one guy who spent the whole film trying to pick a fight with Ben which made him easy to manipulate. It was another impressive moment for Ben with how he took him out. One of the older guys just got super greedy, etc. These were moments to show how Ben was able to easily turn everyone against each other but you feel like in part it’s because the characters were all just lousy people to start with.

Overall, 3:10 to Yuma is a pretty good movie. It gets all the positive elements of the wild west in there and has good pacing. It never ends up dragging on and the characters are very interesting. The verbal battles between the main character and villain are on point. Some characters definitely look pretty bad in how easily they are manipulated but for the main two they at least have a good respect for each other. The tension is constantly high with Dan knowing that he could die at any point and even Ben realizing that this won’t be an easy situation. Ben definitely does have the edge since even if he is captured he could escape. Definitely a must watch if you like the wild west genre.

Overall 7/10

Airport ’77 Review

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It’s time for another Airport movie and once again the actual airport is really nowhere to be found. That’s got to be the biggest weakness of the series at this point because you would think that by now they would have gone back to the roots right? Seriously this one barely has to do with an airplane at this point since it functions as a boat for most of the movie. Still, it does end up trying something more interesting than the second film and I would actually say this was a reasonable title. It certainly doesn’t beat the first film but I would end up giving it the edge over the second one.

The movie starts by introducing us to the characters. They’re mostly rather annoying as you would expect. You have a lady who seems unhappy with her current relationship and likes to flirt with everyone while also using blackmail. She refuses to let her guy talk to anyone though so this way she can be in complete control at all times. You have the Captain who is at least a good character even if there isn’t much to him beyond being the captain. Then there are the group of terrorists who have decided to take over the plane to get rich with the exotic artwork on board. You’ve got a doctor, the wife and kid of the Ceo who built the plane, and of course Patroni. Unfortunately Patroni’s role here is really small.

So the group get on the plane and prepare for a nice flight but things go wrong when the hijackers take over and the whole thing crashes real quick into the ocean. Now you may think that’s better than crashing on land…and that’s true. However, they are sinking fast and it is looking like it will be very difficult to exit the plane in time. If the heroes don’t think of something soon then it’s all going to be over. All their dreams and goals will be gone like the waves. Can they survive long enough for the plane to be found or are they going to drown?

Particularly with the recent submarine incident in real life, you can imagine how terrifying it would be to be stuck underwater in a plane like this. It’s not even a boat so you can’t trust the plane to hang in there forever. Death by drowning or suffocation are some of the worst ways to go and in that respect I’ll take the quick death in a plane crash into the mountain or something. Still once you’re alive you have to try and make the best of it which is where some of the characters get annoying. They’re still yelling a lot and giving the captain a hard time. I know they’re all stressed but these characters do not do well in emergency situations, that’s for sure.

The Captain is the best character by far because at least he’s doing something about this. He takes risks as needed to get the crew off the boat and does his best to keep everyone calm. I’m not going to say that he’s perfect but I would say he really does everything you can possibly expect him to do and considering that he was knocked out at one point the crew is lucky that he wasn’t too dazed. You definitely feel bad for the one guard who got murdered because the villains ended up hitting him harder than they planned. It definitely goes to show how these hijackers won’t be going for any sympathy points here.

Patroni’s cameo is nice but that’s basically all that it is. The characters ask if he wants to take a more hands on approach to saving everyone but he explains that he can direct better from homebase which makes a lot of sense. Particularly at his age would it really make sense to go out there? Probably not although it still would have been cool to see. The CEO character is nice enough. There’s a lot of family drama going on in his plot but it sort of feels like there’s no point to it because inevitably he will only get to see the family for a minute or two at the very end of the film. So there’s only so much you can do with that.

I’d say where the film shines is that you do get the danger of being in this situation. Everyone knows the fear of the water and when you mix that in with a plane crash then even more so. The film doesn’t overplay its hand with a lot of tragic sob stories or anything like that which I really appreciated. That could have also been annoying but the film doesn’t fall into that. So you’re allowed to see how scary it all is without the film beating you over the head about it. You probably will forget that they’re inside a plane after a while but that’s fine.

The rescue efforts also looked pretty cool. I liked the idea behind it. Of course I would be skeptical in practice but the film depicted the attempt well. It takes itself very seriously so there’s almost no room for humor but the pacing isn’t bad. The movie doesn’t overstay its welcome and so that’s why I would say that this is a good movie. It’s admittedly more of a forgettable movie so you won’t remember it in a year or two. That’s why I won’t say it’s a very good movie or anything but you will be entertained and it doesn’t make any big mistakes so I think it’s fair to put it at this level.

Overall, Airport’77 may be an extremely misleading title for the film since it’s really a submarine film that wants to be an airport movie, but it still works well. The tension is carried across nicely and the effects are solid. The cast is just super forgettable and can’t really hold their own against the casts of the previous two films which isn’t a great look. These guys by and large feel more like horror movie type characters in that almost all of them are really annoying and just exist to set the heroes back as much as possible. Seriously you don’t want any of these guys on your team except for the captain.

Overall 6/10

The Trial Review

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The Trial is definitely a very unique film because the whole thing is really crazy from start to finish. A short story is played before the movie starts about how the logic of a dream can always be hard to follow and that seems to be what they are going for with this film. Things don’t tend to make sense and it’s like a scene out of the Twilight Zone. It makes for a pretty fun adventure even if it does drag on a bit towards the end.

The movie starts with Josef K waking up to find that a bunch of people are in the room with him. They seem to be detectives…possibly but they don’t identify themselves. They cryptically tell Josef that he’s under suspicion of something but won’t mention any details. Josef just knows that he will be arrested soon and his coworkers aren’t being very helpful about this. He has a crush on his next door neighbor but she’s a lady of the night and so bad rumors have been spread around her. At least Josef is allowed to go to work while he is being accused but what can he really do to clear his name when he doesn’t know the charges?

Right from the start things are going batty but I would say that is where the film is at its strongest. The beginning is incredibly memorable. The whole film has a very spooky atmosphere to it but this has to be the scariest scene because you have to wonder if he is even able to leave the room. What’s waiting for him outside those doors? In theory it’s all normal outside those doors but after everything that has been going on it’s just hard to say for sure. The world seems very empty, nobody is on his side..well he has his uncle I guess.

It’s almost like Josef has entered a big conspiracy that he doesn’t remember joining. He makes for a pretty good main character for the most part but as the film goes on he starts to lose his willpower a bit. Of course he liked Ms. Burstner but then he lets himself get seduced by the mistress of his lawyer who seems to enjoy hearing about her adventures. Josef ends up not really having a lot of self respect for himself here. Sure he might be about to die here but even so he doesn’t need to go through with these affairs.

The “romance” if you can call it that is pretty weak here. It doesn’t really help with the trippy vibe or do anything to enhance the plot. It’s just sort of around and I would have cut that part out in order to save some time. It’s not like there’s any real emotion to this either which is part of the gag. Burstner was practically falling asleep when Josef was trying to get together with her which is rather embarrassing if you think about it.

At least Josef didn’t let this break him though. One character is thoroughly broken to the point where he kneels before the lawyer and degrades himself. Seriously that guy was a lost cause. After a point you may as well just face prison or the execution room instead of allowing yourself to be manipulated by this guy. If you’ve lost all your self respect then will your life really be as satisfying and complete as you had hoped?

I’ll give Hastler credit of course because somehow he pulled this off. He got clients who are so desperate for his help that they would do anything and that’s a skill in itself. He also was just an entertaining character in general as he was just chilling while everyone was so stressed out. The guy had fun just running his mouth the whole time and you really didn’t know how much if anything of what he was saying was actually true or not. There just wasn’t any way to tell.

Then the film will randomly introduce minor characters who don’t actually add anything to the plot. For example Josef’s younger cousin who shows up randomly and then vanishes as soon as she had appeared. You have this lady with a robotic leg helping pack Burstner’s things and then she doesn’t really appear again. Even Grubach sort of vanishes after the opening scenes. Characters will disappear and then reappear as needed but sometimes they won’t reappear at all so this way you’re always kept guessing. The police detectives from the start of the film looked pretty tough but then things go downhill for them after that.

I’m sure people have probably written long essays explaining exactly what happened here but for the most part I feel like you can come to your own conclusions. You can absolutely analyze what was going on and make some kind of full story out of it but part of the fun is in how vague the whole thing is. I feel like this whole movie is a dream but of course it’s more fun if we take it as being very literal. In that case Josef probably was framed as some kind of huge conspiracy. I guess he made some very powerful enemies and that’s a good way to just vanish unexpectedly.

As mentioned earlier my only real issue with the film is that it does drag a little bit. The first half is a lot more exciting in a lot of ways because you’re being introduced to the world and how crazy it is. You get to be as shocked as Josef is at how things are playing out. Somewhere towards the middle of the film it just doesn’t have the same wow factor going on so while crazy things are still happening, it’s not as crazy as that bold intro. The ending definitely keeps the crazy factor in though so that was good.

I wouldn’t mind seeing more films operating on dream logic like this. You still need quality writing to pull it off so it doesn’t ultimately feel pointless or boring after all. You can probably allow it to be a little pointless but you need to be entertained all the way through. Ultimately Josef probably should have just tried fighting these guys. In dreams people usually can’t fight as much so mow through them and reclaim your freedom!

Now in terms of the story I’ll give my quick interpretation here. So the way I see it, one of Josef’s coworkers was jealous of him. Probably the nosy one who was snooping through the neighbor’s room. That guy also had a crush on her so he needed to bump Josef off which he did by giving the cops some incriminating evidence that Josef was dealing drugs. That’s why they were searching his apartment. Additionally the reason they let him go back to work was so they could find where he had the stash. I think it works about as well as you can do it with all these variables here.

Overall, Dreams are a blast when you have them but it’s hard to summon a dream on command. So watching a film like this is definitely the next best option. It may not be perfect but it’s very entertaining and that’s what counts. You definitely need to go into it with the right mindset but if you do then I think you’ll have a good time. I’m sure it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but that’s how it goes with being unique. This really could have turned into a horror film if the writers wanted to go that way so I think there’s potential for that within this crazy sub genre of sorts.

Overall 6/10

Kickboxer 2 Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

I wasn’t a big fan of the first Kickboxing film and unfortunately the sequel also gets a thumbs down too. I would say it is an improvement over the first but not enough so where I would be able to defend it. It suffers from a lot of serious plot issues like adding a sour note to the first film and overall just going for maximum edge there. It doesn’t even have the solid ost from the first film so things get tricky here.

The movie starts off by introducing us to David, another brother related to the main characters from the first film. He has skill in close quarters combat but isn’t quite as strong as the earlier two. He doesn’t fight anymore, however his gym isn’t doing well so he is forced to unretire. He’s still good enough to win his fights but the main problem is Tong Po has returned. It turns out that he murdered the main characters from the first film including the heroine and now he’s here for David. He has his goons murder a child and then they murder David’s protégé. Now the lead has to fight him but does he have the skills to beat this fighter?

The whole plot feels like something out of an edgy fanfic. “Yo what if…..the villain from the first film got better and murdered everybody!!” I mean cmon now, I know a villain can have a revenge story too but having the heroes lose so cheaply off screen is rough. We see someone get shot so it seems like Tong Po just used underhanded tactics to win. He would have needed to since the last main character heavily surpassed him by the end of the first film. It makes a very strong argument for why you need to completely bump off the villain after a point. Letting him stay alive just opened the door for things to go south.

It’s just such a bad plot point though. Then for extra edge we have the whole kid thing. So there are a bunch of kids that look up to David and want to get stronger. One in particular had a bit of a bad attitude but he was trying his best. Well, a group of fighters attack in the night and when burning down the dojo they take out a kid too. It’s clear this is for maximum drama and edge but the film really didn’t need that. I would argue if anything it’s actually a net negative. The kids didn’t need to be here and surely having his brothers murdered is already enough of a motivation for David.

The edgy backstory also hurts some characters. Namely Xian because with his daughter dead the guy should be out for blood right? He’s an expert fighter to the point where he is the world’s best coach so why not take down Tong Po himself? I never get why the masters can get so complacent when the stakes are this level of personal. Instead he’ll train David and said he will sacrifice the guy if necessary. That’s great, but go handle your business. He should have absolutely been doing whatever it takes to bring that guy down instead of just waiting until David was forced into the action.

It doesn’t make any sense. What else doesn’t make sense? Everyone sitting by as Tong Po shows up and murdered someone in the ring. This isn’t Thailand this time. It’s taking place in the US and yet the villains still have enough clout to break all of the rules as often as they want and get away with literal murder? I don’t care how rich the villains are, that doesn’t make any sense. If the protégé was smart he would have taken the tournament crown by default since the opponent wasn’t smart. Even then he should have won the fight early on when Tong Po was clearly cheating. The ref would call it out each time but not do anything about it so what’s the point there? It’s just a really bad look all around and it’s why the film’s plot is so forced.

I feel like the writers had the dilemma they wanted to get to and knew the conclusion but didn’t know how to organically get the plot there. As a result it’s all rather contrived and the film feels very try-hardish. David’s a decent main character but it would be nice if he could have stepped up a bit sooner. A really rough moment was when the invaders attacked at night. David’s an expert hand to hand fighter so couldn’t he have fought back at least a little bit rather than going down immediately and getting beaten up so badly? I didn’t like how easily he went down there, night or not.

Tong Po also doesn’t look as impressive here for obvious reasons. He claims to want honor yet he goes around taking down stronger opponents with guns? Then in the final fight he is only able to do well when there is a hostage at stake. The instant David can fight the guy goes down like a sack of bricks. It’s like he can’t fight at a very high level at all. In the first film at least it was clear that he was still an incredibly difficult opponent to take down. He would cheat for sure but the guy legitimately did have a lot of skills at his disposal. Here he’s just a chump.

Also while the final fight is fairly long, the power levels don’t make a lot of sense. Put it this way, David is getting completely smashed throughout the whole fight. He’s got tons of broken bones and is coughing up blood since he was told not to fight back due to the hostage stuff going on. So finally when they tell him to fight, he’s able to crush Tong Po just like that? People underestimate how bad those injuries will be acting up while you’re fighting. There’s no way you’re going to just be able to keep fighting as if you’re going into the battle fresh. At best it means Tong Po is just incredibly weak but that’s not possible from what we saw. At least not to that extent so the film overplayed its hand in trying to make the stakes high. Again it’s just not great writing.

Overall, Kickboxer 2 may have beaten the first film but that’s not saying a whole lot. It’s still got huge chronic problems all throughout. In general the kids weren’t needed as their scenes don’t even fit in with the rest of the film. The film’s rather serious and dark while their moments are trying to be a little too upbeat. Perhaps it could work if the film was written better but it wasn’t built for this. In the end I would say to just avoid this film. As bad as the first film was, at least the ending was satisfying but this film completely takes that away and makes it moot so it’s a double negative.

Overall 4/10

Starman Review

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Starman is one of those films that seemed a little iffy right out of the gate. The whole plot involves an alien impersonating Jenny’s husband and calling it a day. And this film is going to be part romance? Uh ohhhhhhhh. Yeah this is why the film was never going to get particularly far. Throw in that the pacing can be slow and the main character is super annoying and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

The film starts off with an alien crash landing to Earth after the government shot down his space ship. He has 7 orgs/magic spells at the ready and uses one to tell his people that Earth is dangerous. He then sees a widow named Jenny and decides to shapeshift into her dead husband. The alien is now “Scott” but he knows nothing about human customs, their ways, or even about talking. So he gets to work on learning all of this and until he does, he figures Jenny will be his prisoner. Jenny has to try and escape quickly before she falls victim to Stockholm syndrome. Will she be up to the task?

Yeah the romance here is just bad. Since her husband is dead, you would think that the last thing Jenny would tolerate is an alien shapeshifter. I would argue that a normal rebound is even better than this because at least it’s a different person. Choosing to get together with someone who looks like your husband but isn’t is just really eery and not something you should be doing. I would also argue that there is no reason for her to fall for him at all. He basically kidnapped her and then held her against her will for a long while. At what point would that really turn into some kind of admiration? I’m not buying it, no sirrrrrrrr. He basically got her pregnant through alien magic too and she was cool with it.

Jenny started out by being a tough character but started breaking down as the film went on. I would have preferred that she knocked “Scott” out early on and then escaped. She doesn’t have to help the government since those guys were real shady the whole time but not falling in love with this guy is the baseline requirement to being a really solid character here. The romance should have been cut out entirely.

It’s not even to say that “Scott” is a bad guy but I would still put him as more antagonistic than anything. While it takes him a while to learn the human customs so he isn’t intending to be a bad person, you can’t forget that he was completely threatening Jenny. This guy also seemed serious about it and while you know that he is changing, it’s not like you can just quickly see that and get together with him at the drop of a hat. It just doesn’t work like that by any stretch.

The film also suffers in large part due to “Scott” and how long it takes him to get used to Earth. It’s one of those tropes I’ve never been a big fan of where it takes him forever to understand what’s going on. So you see him make a lot of goofy faces, not know how to respond, etc. These scenes take forever and I just really prefer to have a character who is on the ball the whole time. Someone who knows what is going on and is ready to act. With his magic powers surely he could have used one of them to immediately understand human customs or something right? He comes far by the end but at first all of his scenes are absolutely brutal. You’ll be cringing a whole lot and that hurts the pacing.

Meanwhile the government makes for a decent villain but there isn’t a lot to them. They hire a freelancer to help out but that was the government’s mistake as he clearly had disdain for them from the start and instead of helping out he basically makes sure to get in their way the whole time. Seriously they would have been better off without him. In general while the government does get close at times, they rarely feel like much of a threat.

That’s why to add tension we see a deer die which was pretty regrettable. It’s a way for “Scott” to see how cruel the world is and how people hunt other animals. Fortunately he does use his abilities to revive it but it’s a scene that we didn’t really need. Still I wouldn’t say the film was ever aimless or anything. I wasn’t big on that scene of course but the film did have a plan the whole time and went ahead with it. You could easily transform this into a really fun film if you switch up the genre a bit. Have it be a thriller where “Scott” needs to evade the government until his backup arrives. Then we get a classic alien invasion film or something like that. You have to admit that would definitely be a lot of fun!

Of course if you really want to make this plot work, just don’t have Starman turn into her husband. Have him be an ordinary joe and gradually she falls for him. I think you’d still need to bypass all of the threats and such though for this to even be a conversation. Additionally it’s best for her to not even have a dead husband so that it’s not a big rebound like that. That would be an immediate upgrade to the plot and it’s not even that hard to pull off.

Overall, Starman isn’t a particularly good film. I would say that it starts off on the wrong foot with the romance right out of the gate. It’s just hard to get past that because it’s such a bad romance plot that only serves to actively harm the film. It’s hard to survive when one of your main genres is holding you back after all. There’s just no escape from that. Then mix in how Starman’s initial scenes really drag on and that doesn’t help either. To an extent it’s probably trying to be funny but give me the witty fast talking kind of humor over the slow on the uptake version any time. I’d say to avoid this film. The title sounds cool for sure but the actual film isn’t quite up to par.

Overall 3/10

Prophecy Review

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When you have a film about mutated animals running around often times it isn’t going to end well for the movie. This one was no exception as you’ll be shaking your head the whole time with the animal violence. The idea of the characters wandering into an area with a lot of radiation and creatures running around could be something more like Godzilla but that wasn’t the case here.

The movie starts off with Robert being asked to go look into a fight between some Native Americans and a lumber company. Robert asks why he would possibly be asked to do this and he’s basically just told to stop asking questions. Well, if he’s going to do this job then he’ll do it right and since he works for the EPA he looks into the radiation. Unfortunately this area is ignoring all environmental standards and toxic sludge is being tossed around. This sludge not only causes birth defects but seems to be triggering some kind of changes within the lifeforms around here. What can Robert do about this?

For the drama angle we have his wife Maggie who is pregnant with their future child and of course this is bad news for her. Any kind of birth complication would be particularly worrisome. Then there’s also the fact that Robert really doesn’t want kids. I forget if Maggie just forgot to use protection that time or if she just really wanted the kids, or if the film even addressed that. Either way she isn’t quite sure how to mention this to him so that causes a lot of tension.

Now if you are with someone who expressly says that they don’t want kids before you get married then you already know the score and shouldn’t try to mess with that. If it’s an accident then of course there’s nothing you can do about it so the context is important for this angle. Either way I wouldn’t say it adds a lot to the film since we’re here for the action, not for this romance plot which is definitely not the highlight anyway. Neither character ends up looking all that good by the end of that plot.

Maggie’s a bit too timid in bringing the topic up before it’s far too late. Once she was hearing about the sludge she should have let him know. Meanwhile Robert was so absorbed in what was going on that he didn’t pay her much attention at all. He at least tries to diffuse tensions within the camp but rarely does all that good a job of it. This guy’s a researcher, not a fighter so don’t expect him to get a ton of fight scenes.

Isely represents the company in this movie so naturally he is fairly corrupt and can’t really be reasoned with. When John and the tribe try to stop him from going further he nearly murders one of them. Of course he had to go through for his job and could have definitely knocked them around a bit but of course murdering them is never the answer. John is the leader of the tribe or at least the main acting member and he tries hard to protect the tribe’s interests but the plans aren’t always very well thought out. Standing in front of the jeep with the rest of the characters would just make it easy to be run over. Ultimately corporate would do that in order to save a few bucks.

Of course at the end of the day the movie is fairly standard in a lot of ways so it would have been fine without the animal angle. What really sinks it is what happens at that point. You have animals getting poisoned and dying out, being eaten, and then of course the final bear monster which looks incredibly deformed. It seems to be in pain just by existing. While the film’s about the Katahdin monster, it’s safe to say that this was still just an average bear. Even if it was film budget limitations that insisted on this, it doesn’t change that it wasn’t the big hyped hybrid.

Having a bear as the final boss is regrettable because of course that means the characters have to be attacking it even when it’s just trying to save its cub and take down the pesky humans. This is a problem all films involving antagonist animals have to deal with and it doesn’t leave the movie a lot of hope for making a comeback. Animal violence basically becomes unavoidable at that point.

It’s not like the film has any aspect that really sticks out to try and combat this either. It’s really a very standard film all things considered. There’s also one scene that will have you puzzled where John stays in the water for a very long time as the bear approaches. You fully expect it to pop out of the water and grab the guy but surprisingly in the 11th hour he manages to get up and run away. A bit of a pointless scene then right? Why was he even staying in the water? You can’t tell me he was so exhausted that he couldn’t move because adrenaline should take care of that real quick.

Overall, Prophecy is a title that probably won’t make you think about evil animals right away. Of course that is a bit misleading since it’s all the pollution’s fault. Not like the animals wanted to turn giant or deformed. That said, the movie ended up being pretty bad due in large parts to the very realistic effects for the deformed animals and the plot in general. It could be hard to look at the bear or the other animals directly in general. Throw in the romance plot that really didn’t add anything at all and this film was sliding downhill the whole time. I highly recommend avoiding this one and in general you will want to avoid films with an animal at the end like this. Trust me they aren’t going to stand out.

Overall 1/10

The Cincinnati Kid Review

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It’s always tragic when you have a film that is executing the story at a really high level but then it gets bogged down by scenes that don’t actually enhance the plot. The actual gambling scenes are excellent and I love the tension/build up to the final battle. Unfortunately along the way the film stumbles into some really unfortunate animal violence and the main character is as weak willed as they come. This makes for a very dicey part of the film that drags the rest down with it.

The movie starts off by introducing us to the Kid who is an excellent poker player. In fact he’s so good that he has to go out of town to find new opponents now because everyone in the city owes him a ton of money. He’s just a natural at this kind of thing and now the world’s greatest player Lancey is in town. Their battle is sure to shake the entire planet but can The Kid win? If he does then he will become “The Man” and everyone will respect him forever. However, if he loses then all is lost because he’s staked everything on this. What he doesn’t know is that the shady Mr. Slade also wants the Kid to win even if it means pulling a few strings.

The only thing worse than losing a match is realizing that you only won because someone was cheating. That’s the dilemma that The Kid runs into here with all this match fixing going around. Slade works well as the main villain with how he’s always threatening everyone and pulling his weight around. You really don’t want to go up against that guy in the ring. That said, it would be nice if everyone could just resist like The Kid did. He wasn’t going to play ball at any time and that’s the right move.

Unfortunately Shooter is a lot weaker willed. It was a shame that he couldn’t resist the blackmail at all. Yeah it involves his wife Melba and her past but lets face it she doesn’t care who knows about that. In fact she seems proud to flaunt how available she is at every point as she keeps on rubbing Shooter’s nose in it. The guy has no self respect as she uses and abuses him the whole time. That’s why I didn’t like Shooter. Even if he hadn’t started cheating at the end, he really needs to know when it’s time to cut your losses. He’s sacrificed everything for her and it’s clear that it would never be enough.

Of course Melba is a very bad character as well. She clearly doesn’t mind cheating at all and seems to enjoy bringing everyone down to her level. She is a bad influence to all of the characters. If you’re her friend then she will find a way to take you down as well. That’s just who she is at this point. Now is where I have to take some shots at The Kid as well though. Sure his skills are good and I like the confidence but as a character he has to take a big thumbs down here.

For starters he actually does let Melba seduce him on more than one occasion. He completely betrays his girlfriend in these moments and it’s why the ending of the film is not deserved in the slightest. The Kid has no degree of self control or self respect whatsoever and it’s just a shame to see that. His girlfriend Christian deserved a whole lot better than what she got and she should stay away from him after that. Her parents didn’t seem to like him much at all and their gut instincts were right here.

Then there is also the scene where he has his rooster fight someone else’s. Animal fights have long since been banned fortunately and maybe even at the time they were. The Kid knew his way around the underworld so that might be what this is but the whole fight should not have been in the movie at all. It’s a really bad moment and it gets rather violent too. Especially since there was no CGI back then I worry about the animals used for this shot. I like to think they’re okay but either way the film itself doesn’t get a pass for that scene. Just bad stuff all around.

So I would say the only good character in the film would have to be Lancey. Christian takes some fault as well for being a bit too naïve and also for doubting her own instincts of leaving. Lancey at least was doing his best to win the whole time and wasn’t about to get distracted. No, he’s in it to win and you can see how he became the champion. At the end of the day he never lost concentration and also didn’t give up even when he was losing in the fight. Poker is about luck to a good extent but there is also a lot of skill involved. You have to be able to defeat your opponent mentally as well as with your deck. That’s the only way that you’re going to be able to pull this off.

I liked how the film showed the characters practicing their math too since that is really how you can try to make Poker into a game of science. Memorize the cards that have been played and then you have to make a snap judgment on if you take the bet or not. Nothing’s a sure bet but it makes sense that knowing the cards that have been dealt will help you with the odds. Then if you play enough with the law of averages you should come out better than someone who is just playing wild. So there was a lot of thought put into this.

It’s the most detailed Poker game that I’ve seen in any movie thus far and it’s handled perfectly. I love the atmosphere and intensity of the games and if the film had purely stuck to that then it would have been great. The pacing and writing were also on point so you were really invested in what was happening. The Kid just needed to stay strong but either way I was rooting for Lancey since the hero made way too many mistakes like with the roosters and then with Melba.

Overall, The Cincinnati Kid is a very entertaining movie. It never lets up from start to finish and so there are a lot of moments that will have you at the edge of your seat. I just couldn’t recommend it though because the low moments hit really hard like the rooster battle. Even all the cheating and horrible romance doesn’t hurt the film quite as much as that sequence did. It’s just hard to fall that hard but of course all of the scenes really add up. I loved part of the ending, it was all great except for the very last scene which also ends things on a bit of a whimper. I’m really tempted to bump this one more star up the middle but ultimately I couldn’t do it. For a tense film, check out Demon Slayer the movie instead.

Overall 4/10

The Second Time Around Review

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The Second Time Around is one of those films where you’ve got a pretty decent setup for a wild west film but it doesn’t take itself all that seriously and gets lost in the sauce. You can do a pretty good parody if you want or make this a full comedy but in the end this one didn’t do either of that. The romance actually ends up bringing it down. It’s still reasonably entertaining at times but has enough flaws to prevent me from calling it a good movie.

The movie starts with a lady named Lu heading to the wild west to get a job so that she can provide for her kids. As a single mother it ain’t easy ever since her husband died while on duty. Still, she is ready to do something about this but the job falls through and she only manages to get by thanks to the grace of an old lady named Aggie. Aggie decides to help Lu out which is great but helping out with odd jobs isn’t going to be enough to pay the bills. Perhaps if Lu were to become Sheriff then she could change things but the town is a corrupt one with a lot of powerful players. Can Lu really hold her own when she is new to the area?

Really where the film breaks down is the romance as I mentioned so lets jump right to that. Dan and Pat both fall in love with Lu as soon as she appears. Dan is the bad boy of the town who operates an illegal gambling/beer joint while paying off the corrupt sheriff to keep it operational. Naturally that means Lu does not have a whole lot of respect for the guy. That being said, he has a quick wit which makes it easy to fool her.

Then you have Pay the nice guy. He plays things by the book and wants to win her over the right way. Of course you know that means he’s probably doomed here since things always get tough for the nice guy. It’s part of the film that will have you shaking your head. Now by no means am I saying Lu should have gone with him. Being a nice guy doesn’t mean you’re owed anything in the slightest and if he’s not her type then that’s it. It’s not about who lost but about who won. See part of what hurts here is how far Dan goes.

He tricks Lu into going out with him into the mountains because he knows that she needs money for her kids. So he claims there is gold up there and even plants some so she could get a bit and then ideally fall for him since he helped her out so much. He even takes the chance to steal a few kisses from her during the movie which is always an extremely bad look. Seriously you can’t come back from that so Lu somehow liking him in the end anyway is pretty crazy. This is the kind of film that is throwing in a romance that doesn’t need to be there.

I’m cool with them becoming friends in the end. He helped save her life at the end after all so maybe they call it square but actually getting together with him? Nahhhh that’s definitely no good. It also means that the film has a pretty weak cast since Dan is supposed to be one of the likable characters. You just can’t really end up liking him after all of that. It’s just way too late for him to even begin to mount a comeback.

I don’t mind Pat all that much. He’s a likable guy but a little too timid and slow to act. So he does lose some points for that. Then we have the main villain as the Sheriff. I knew the guy was corrupt from the start but I didn’t really suspect just how corrupt he was. Definitely one of the more petty villains but at least he gave the film a little danger along with the rest of the bandits. Unfortunately this shows why Lu would not make for a good sheriff.

See at the end of the day you need a sheriff who can really fight. Someone who is an excellent shot with a gun or something like that. If Lu could shoot down everyone in her way then of course it makes sense for her to lead. But she goes down so effortlessly against the villains without even putting up a fight. I’d say that is what really hurts her in the end. If the film could have at least had her defeat a few fighters first then that would have absolutely helped a whole lot.

Aggie was a nice character although she didn’t do a whole lot here. The fact that she gave Lu a place to be where she could earn money was nice of her though. So all in all you can see why this film didn’t rank as highly as it could. It ended up being rather jumbled with no really strong aspects to the film. It wasn’t particularly going for a comedic angle so there weren’t a ton of jokes to keep it afloat. The fight scenes on average weren’t all that good for one of these films and of course the romance was really not good.

If they toned down how naïve Lu was and made her a little more skilled that would have done the film a world of good. I do think there is a decent film somewhere in here but it’s buried really deep. It’s not even an awful film or anything like that but I wouldn’t call it a good one. Ultimately you will want to give this one a skip. Lu didn’t even get to keep the gold she got since she threw it away in rage. I have to say that I would have kept the gold. Planted there for me to find or not, it’s mine now and gold was worth a whole lot back then. You really want to keep it.

Overall, You can even tell from the title of the film how this is going to be about a rebound. I already don’t care much for rebound romances so making that the very center of the movie is already starting things off on the wrong foot. If you’re going to do a classic story of two guys fighting over the girl then don’t add the dead husband in the first place. Just make it an initial romance and that’s already a much more wholesome plot. It’s still not going to save the fact that Dan’s such a bad character but it’s the attempt that counts.

Overall 4/10

Where the Wild Things Are Review

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This is one of those movies that didn’t have a lot of potential since the main character is just a kid but even then it went lower than I expected. One of the big problems with the film is really that it gets really boring. For the most part I want to say that nearly every film has something really engaging in it. Something that you can sink your teeth into and have a good time but that wasn’t the case with this one. You’re just waiting for it to end and a big reason for that is the annoying main character.

The movie starts with Max building a snow castle but he is bored by himself. He tries to get his sister and her friends to play with him but in the process they break his snow castle so he cries for a while. He decides to embarrass his mother next and then runs away from home. This is where he falls into the land of the monsters and decides to be their king. Fortunately none of them are even remotely smart so they don’t mind working for a kid but is this really the life that he wishes to lead?

Now you may have suspicions on if this is really happening or not but I won’t spoil that for you. All I will say is that the film really does feel aimless for almost the entire run which is really my problem with it. Look, the monster designs aren’t even that cool when you really think about it. I personally didn’t find them scary but I also didn’t find them interesting. It’s like a bad episode of Barney but without the wholesome messages the whole time. Sure, you sort of see what they’re doing as these monsters help Max to see what a jerk he had been but it’s soooo drawn out.

Also, it really hurts that they made Max as unlikable as possible. It’s hard to really be sympathetic to him when he’s causing all of these problems. For example when the kids broke his igloo, sure that wasn’t very fun but it was part of the game and they didn’t realize how bad it was. At least one kid turned around so you know that he knew they went too far but ultimately he left. Max was a little too dependent on them there and should have just kept on keeping on. He got to play with the others for a bit so that should have made him happy.

Then later on his Mom tried her best to help him out and he rewards this by biting her and being a general pest while her rebound boyfriend was around? Nah that’s a really bad look and I’d argue that he never gets much better during the course of the film. With the monsters he tends to be very slow on the uptake and only survives because the creatures aren’t very smart.

It makes for a bit of a cringeworthy kind of film. You have a hard time watching the movie with a straight face. Now granted, I can absolutely see this being fun when you’re a young kid in some instances but I wouldn’t recommend this to a kid because it can be a little intense. The opening scene with the dog for example sets a really bad example. I also thought the dog should have shown up more later on because for a while there I was nervous that he died or something.

That’s not the case but it was a horrible way to open up the film. Worst scene there by far and it shows that Max doesn’t even have any basic common sense. You don’t run around with a fork while terrorizing your pet. That’s just not done and makes him look so bad. So with a main character like Max then you’re just not going to get very far with this film. Additionally for the vast majority of the film he is the only human character. You can’t banter off of the monsters so that means he has to try and hold the whole film by himself which is basically impossible. Trust me he is not up to the task at all.

I think if you really wanted to succeed with this plot then you needed more of a true main villain. An evil king running around and then you have his mom, sister, and the friends all appear as figures within the dream. It would be something more like Narnia for example with maybe a mix of Alice in Wonderland in there. The idea of a kid trying to run away from his problems into a fantasy world is nothing new. It’s been done many times before and done quite well I might add. This one doesn’t work though because it doesn’t have that focus and everything takes so long to happen. I’ve gone into the pacing a lot because it’s just so absolutely critical.

The monsters here are all just really annoying. They are easily tricked and barely serve a function beyond just being convenient figures for the main character to manipulate. Put him in a world with almost any other kind of creature and that would be game over. Mix it with the rather grim setting and they don’t stand out at all. Maybe if you couldn’t have the world be bright, at least make the monsters have bright costumes or something. I think that could have worked out a little better. The film’s chronic issues wouldn’t be fixed so it’s not like this would turn everything around but it would be a start.

Overall, This film had the issue of having the deck stacked against it from the start. Having a kid as the main character rarely works and certainly not one this unlikable. The story takes forever to move and even by the end I wouldn’t say that it ever got really high tier or anything like that. Eh there’s just not much of a reason to watch this one so stick away and just watch a more engaging picture. You’ve got options out there.

Overall 2/10