*Disclaimer, this is a review of the edited version of the film so that it is TV-14. The uncut version would likely get a lower score*

How can a film about people fighting zombies not be an instant global hit? We’ve seen what the Walking Dead did right? (Although, I’m sure that it was a one hit wonder. We won’t be seeing another Walking Dead with that much success) That being said, I’ve never liked any zombie film that I’ve seen or heard about. Zombies are some of the worst enemies that can appear in a film and their only competition would be Vampires of Werewolves. That being said, this film is based off of a video game, which is always cool!

The plot of the film involves a woman named Alice, although she is missing from the very first scene. The first scene starts out as most films start out. There are some employees who are having a good ole time and you may figure that this will be the feel good film of the year. This quickly changes when a vile is dropped and horror ensues. Meanwhile, with the real plot, Alice has lost her memories and she doesn’t have time to gather them as a team of trained professionals breaks into her(?) mansion and quickly take her to a secret passage. These guys want to get to the bottom of the tower so that they can shut down an A.I. that has gone rogue. Alice doesn’t fully understand what is happening here, but she goes along with them. (It should be noted that she’s not really given much of a choice) The group also runs across a police officer and another guy who has amnesia. It’s all pretty routine at first, but can these trained professionals possibly take down such an advanced computer?

Notice that I did’t mention the zombies. That would almost be a spoiler since they don’t arrive until we’re decently late in the film. The reason that it’s not a spoiler…is that zombies are the whole point of Resident Evil. It’s like when Godzilla doesn’t appear for a very long time in his Final Wars film. We all know that he will appear…it’s just a question of when. The zombies are what you would expect from this kind of film. They’re mindless, slow, but get a lot of help from plot hax and sheer numbers. Traitors in the midst of the heroes are also welcome additions to their army.

I should get into the negatives before I go into some of the other details and positives of the film. One negative will be the unnecessary fanservice scene. (Spoiler alert, we get one of those in basically every film. The 4th film may be the only exception, but I may have just forgotten something) The scene is likely there to make sure that I take some points away from the film, but there are classier ways to do that. The scene could have been worse, but it stays for way too long. Luckily it was just that one scene..sort of. The very ending can be a little dicey as well.

The other negative would be the sheer violence in the film. You can immediately tell why this film got such a strong rating when the laser scene pops up. Action violence will always be around in a zombie film, or any kind of action film. Still, the film goes way over the top in this area and that’s another way to take out some points. The scenes where they destroy the zombies actually isn’t extremely violent, (yet) but the zombies themselves look pretty gruesome. Whenever they bite one of the humans, it may make you wince a little.

There is also some unnecessary romance that involves Alice’s previous life. (Not literally, but before her amnesia) It’s not around for too long, but the scenes are pretty unnecessary and they’ll make you wince again. That’s essentially it for the negatives, but those are pretty critical. Let’s go to a happier section as I list the positives for the film!

The soundtrack is easily 5 star worthy. It’s one of the best soundtracks that I’ve seen in a live action film and it can hold its own against any other. It’s really cool to see the schematics of the base because we get a really cool theme going. It gives us a video game impression while also making the film 20% cooler. The ending theme of the film is also great and really makes you hyped for the sequel, no matter how much you liked or disliked this film. The soundtrack is just that good!

Another positive for the film would be the very ending. It’s easily one of the best endings in cinematic history. Not only does the ending pave the way for a sequel, but it shows us what the true scope of the zombie threat is. These guys are playing for keeps and it’s up to Alice to stop them once and for all. It’s really rare to see such an ending make it onto the big screen and it was a good move.

The film does have a final boss and this guy is more of a beast than a zombie. He gets stronger whenever he consumes another person and his abilities may be limitless at this point! He’s very durable and while he may not be completely bulletproof, he can definitely endure a lot of shots. Unfortunately, the way that the heroes beat him is pretty gruesome. Still, this guy was definitely a powerful final boss and he caused a lot of damage.

The real villain would be the Red Queen A.I. She was pretty cool and you could definitely sympathize with her if not for the fact that she murders everyone in her path. It may be the voice that makes her amusing, or the fact that she’s basically in control the entire time. She’s essentially the mastermind of this whole film.

Alice is the main character and she’s a decent protagonist. She doesn’t have her full memories so she’s not as powerful as she usually is. She learns how to fight during the later portion of the film and by the end, she seems to be at her peak once again. Can she truly stop the zombies with her shotgun? Well, we’re going to find out!

Matt is the police officer of the group and he even comes equipped with an emotional backstory. He’s a decent character as well and he does try to get to the thick of things. This guy is tough, but fighting zombies takes more than a handgun. (Unless the person in question is a trained professional) The ending will likely be pretty sad for his fans, but nearly every character in the film gets a sad ending as well. Matt is not alone!

One of the things that helps the film, is the overall atmosphere. It feels like a mystery while adding in some thriller and horror elements. The film did a good job of mixing the three of those together. This is essentially how I would picture a Metroid film if it came out. The atmosphere would be perfect for that kind of film.

Overall, this zombie film was better than the others that I’ve seen, but it could still use a lot of work. While the film had many pros, it had many cons as well. The violence was definitely over the top and unnecessary additions like the main character’s medical capture at the end definitely bring the film down. It’s definitely not the kind of film where you walk away with a big grin on your face. One also feels bad for the monsters. At least the edited version took out most of the language and the soundtrack is sill solid. I can’t really recommend this film, but you may enjoy it if you like zombie films and don’t mind the excessive violence. For minors, your best bet for a good horror film is to check out Batman Phantasm. I actually recommend that Batman film as a solid alternative to all horror fans! I will be reviewing the second film soon, which adds some more positives, while also falling into some new holes.

Overall 2/10

A mission to Mars always sounds fun, but it’s not something that I would want to do. Those voyages take way too long and space isn’t my thing. Still, the plot has is intriguing since space films can always add aliens and it’s hinted at in the plot. Was this film a success or did it turn out like most other space films? Let’s find out!

I’ve always been a big fan of alien/creature films. They’re always fun to watch and the films always have potential to be great. I usually end up dishing out low scores to those films because they make a lot of mistakes, but I always get my hopes up when a new one comes out. Unfortunately, this film may disappoint you if you’re looking for some solid aliens!

The plot involves a group of characters as they head off to Mars. The only one that you need to remember is Luke, as the rest of the crew is quickly destroyed by what seems to be a Kaiju. Luke quickly radios for help, but then the channel is cut. On Earth, they know that it’ll take a long time to get to Mars and Luke may already be dead. That’s definitely not going to stop our heroes! Jim, Terri, and Phil are some of the members who are a part of the new crew. They know the risks and while they are not prepared for any hostile encounter, they have determination on their side! Let’s just say that they’re in for a surprise when they finally make it to Mars!

Well, that’s the general plot and it’s a decent way to start a film. We got a party scene at the beginning, which is supposed to help us relate to the characters and maybe even sympathize with them. That part wasn’t bad and it was definitely an explosive beginning when the monster appeared. Unfortunately, nothing really happens after that. The rest of the film is basically set up for something that doesn’t even get to happen. A little on the sad side eh?

There are aliens in this film, but they have a very generic design. I have to say that they were also some of the worst aliens that we’ve seen in a while. On one hand, they seem to have almost limitless power as they hint that they are the ones who created humanity, or at least the ones who made the animals. They started the evolutionary process. You may be trying to suppress a laugh during the big scene that showcases this, but you may as well let it out. These “all powerful” aliens are quickly forced to retreat when an asteroid shower takes out their planet. So much for their technology and powers!

One part of the film that may annoy most people is the decision that Jim makes. It basically means ditching his whole race and also trusting the word of a being that he’s never truly met. That doesn’t seem like a smart move and it makes Jim unlikable. It’s impossible to agree with this choice, at least for me. That’s why I was glad that the other characters didn’t choose the same path.

I also noticed that this film was PG. I think that a PG rating doesn’t really suffice. The scene where the Kaiju murders the team is pretty intense and PG-13 worthy. Some films do skirt that edge nowadays and Prince Caspian is a good example of that. Still, this film isn’t very violent and that is really the only scene that gets intense. The rest of the film plays it safe and we don’t get any real action scenes. There are some emotional moments in the film, like one guy (not literally) self destructing so that someone else wouldn’t die in a rescue attempt. Still, watch that first Kaiju battle and tell me that the film should be PG!

This film is essentially why I’m not a fan of space movies that do not involve aliens or creatures. Being in space is like being underwater of in the dessert. Those scenes just aren’t interesting in movies and that’s the case here. The scenes could have been worse and they were decent, but they just didn’t mean anything in the end. The film was very misleading and maybe the score would have been better if we didn’t get the Kaiju scene.

See, the Kaiju scene was very intense and it hinted that there were creatures on Mars. I won’t spoil the “epic” twist, but there is no life on Mars. That scene was just meant to trick the audience and keep people watching. There were so many ways that they could have achieved that part in a better way. It was pretty sad when the twist happened and I’m sure that many viewers were not pleased.

Aside from being very uneventful and disappointing, Mission to Mars did have some things going for it. For one thing, there are no really big negatives to the film. It didn’t fall into any of the usual holes like Animal Violence. The film may not have achieved a lot of success in its pros, but the fact that it doesn’t really have any cons, helps it to get such a rating. A 4 isn’t exactly Oscar worthy, but it’s not bad considering the genre and lack of action. Comparing it to some of my recent reviews, this would technically be one of the higher rated ones.

The characters were decent for the most part, but many of them went south. Luke essentially cracked after the Kaiju attack and Jim didn’t make a great move. Self-Destructing isn’t going to help anyone in my books and the other characters were just around. I suppose that I liked the commander who allowed the mission to proceed, but he didn’t get a whole lot of screentime. Maybe he’ll get some more next time!

Overall, this is not a space film that I would recommend. I guess it would be like watching Apollo 11 or Gravity. Space isn’t a great backdrop for me unless there is a lot of action. I like seeing people inside of spaceships or objects in space, but not space itself. A Metroid setting would do very well, but we also need the sci-fi that accompanies that. Adding in aliens just helped to confuse the audience, since it never really amounted to anything. Most of the drama and suspense comes from ship malfunctions and other disasters. They’re sad, but I don’t think anyone paid 20 dollars to go and see people plug the leaks of a space ship. We came for aliens and explosions! If you like realistic space films, then I’m sure that you would like this film. It’s just not my cup of tea. If you want to see a really epic space film, check out DBZ: Broly The Legendary Super Saiyan!

Overall 4/10

Pulse is a horror film that deals with the dangers of the internet. Horror films usually do not draw high scores from me, but it’s still nice to see them give it their all. Maybe this will end up being one of the best horror films that I’ve ever seen. The concept is interesting and the film is actually pretty recent. Let’s see how it fared!

After a guy named Josh is quickly defeated in the library, the film lets you know that Mattie will be the main character. She’ll need to be tougher than Josh, since he gives up on life and dies pretty early in the film. Mattie has a few friends with her and they’ll try to figure out what happened to Josh, but it may be a losing battle. They have two clues to go on….his computer and red tape. Meanwhile, a guy named Dex happens to be around and he’s quickly pulled into the thick of things!

First of all, it should be noted that the villains are only mildly tough. They manage to overpower several of the main guys in the film and also defeat an old man. (The latter case is not confirmed, but the man was with his cart and then the cart comes back…but the guy is gone!) The ghosts were trapped in the internet by a “super” genius, but they escaped thanks to our local hacker, Josh. Once the ghosts are out, there’s no getting them back in.

Personally, I think that the heroes got off lucky. The demons from The Grudge and The Ring are far scarier and more threatening than these guys. These guys suck a person’s will into them so that the person ends up wanting to die. I don’t buy that kind of power. These guys must have had a very weak grasp on their will to live. (Bleach actually agrees with me in the latest chapters of the final arc.) The humans should have tried harder! The ghosts seem like they can also blow a person up by infecting them with a disease if they don’t succumb to depression quick enough.

There’s also a pretty neat counselor at the school, but one can tell that he is an expendable character. After he gives Mattie a pep talk about how ghosts aren’t real, he is attacked. I won’t say if he wins or not, but let’s just say that you can’t really call it a “fight”.

By the end of the film, almost everyone in the entire school has disappeared. Only a handful of people are left and one would think that the government would get involved. We’re talking about 100+ people disappearing in an instant and it actually reaches up to the millions area before the very end. The ghosts work pretty fast!

Mattie is not one of the better main characters. She’s all right I suppose, but she’s not quite as intense as the average main character. That being said, she’s much better than Josh. Josh is the first to go and hacking never ends well. Stone is another one of the main characters, but diving under the bed to hide from the ghosts may be a plan that he regrets.

Tim has the right idea as he hides out in his room with a lot of red tape. His only mistake is that he takes some of the tape off so that he can see what’s happening outside……….pretty big mistake. Douglas is the guy who originally trapped the spirits, but it must have been a fluke because he quickly hides when they escape. He actually survives and he’s still hiding in his closet which is surrounded by red tape. I guess we’ll see how long he can stay in the closet before having to make a trip to Wal Mart for some pizza and chips. He’s going to need food at some point! Dex is the “tough guy” of the group and he knows exactly what needs to be done. Unfortunately, he is faced off against the spirits of two little boys and it’s enough for him to take a few steps back. I won’t say if he gets through the predicament alive, but it’s an intense scene!

So, the film doesn’t sound that bad right now right? Maybe it’ll actually get a positive score! Well…..that’s not going to happen. It’s time to launch into the negatives of the film. The first big one involves…animal violence. Unfortunately, the film sunk to that low. It’s a pretty sad scene and it instantly destroyed a few points from the film. We see a cat who is in Very bad shape. It’s enough to give you an upset stomach to be honest. The cat was also locked in the closet and it’s a very sad and unsettling scene.

Another thing that doesn’t help its case is an unnecessary bath scene. They’re always unnecessary, but it’s still sad that they keep on adding those type of scenes. I’m sure that the films would get much better reviews and also sell more if they didn’t add those scenes. Just look at The Avengers!

I also can’t give this film a very good score considering how all of the characters are pretty annoying and unlikable. They are easy prey for the villains and they should have put up more resistance like the old couple who had a shotgun. Those guys knew the score and they were actually fighting against the spirits!

Overall, this is another horror film that I cannot recommend. It falls into the big animal violence and fanservice holes, which don’t bode well for it. I did like the ending since the Government is finally getting involved as they’ve gotten people to Dead Zones so the spirits cannot hurt them. (Spirits can only operate in places with Wifi) That’s a good first step, but I want to see what the human’s counter attack will be. After all, we do see Josh in the very end and the war is just getting started! The film got a pair of sequels, but I can’t say that I’m really planning to watch them. If you really want to watch something scary, then check out the final season of Yugioh GX!!!

Overall 2/10

After the Highly Acclaimed Trilogy, the movie industry decided to adapt The Hobbit! This time, we could watch as Bilbo went on an adventure with lower stakes and a much weaker cast all around. Surely the film could still be a success as long as we got some good character development in there right? Well, I’m afraid that isn’t entirely how the film went.

I still remember the first time that I saw the Hobbit trailer. It looked terrible and the effects looked really dated. It’s a problem that the whole LOTR franchise suffers from and I didn’t expect it to get much better, but I wanted to see some change. Ah well, maybe next time! The plot involves Bilbo Baggins as he is forced into an adventure by Gandalf and his “friends”. Bilbo must help them retake their homeland and defeat the mighty Smaug!

We’ve got the plot out of the way, but it’s so simple right? How could this last for 2 hours!? Well, Bilbo puts up a fuss and the film makes sure that we see unnecessary things. The dinner party at the beginning of the movie lasts for a very long amount of time and usually it would have been much smaller in a different film. When I say that it shows unnecessary things, I’m referring to extra gestures or filler scenes that are present. Maybe an extra scene of Bilbo walking for no reason or an epic zoom in on a character that stays for a little too long. The films tend to drag out each and every scene until it’s extremely long. It’s like walking into a building made of steel and then adding some metal on it. In the Hobbit, we understand what is happening and would prefer if the movie could pick up the pace.

This is a bit of advice that I’ve used for all of the films, but I’ll say it again. The film should be shorter and they could take out a solid hour and the film would be better off for it. They could definitely condense some scenes and they could have literally taken 10 minutes off of the dinner scene. Maybe the sequels will do better in the time frame part, but I have my doubts.

Bilbo is a much better main character than Frodo so that definitely helps the film out. I’m not really a fan of the character, but he is easier to sympathize with. He is currently able to resist the ring’s influence and he tries to be heroic. His plans don’t always succeed, but he’s braver and more dependable than Frodo. A main character can make a world of difference and while it did not save the Hobbit, it did make the film more enjoyable. It definitely would have been a lot worse if Frodo had been around.

Gandalf is still around, but he continues to look weak and he even becomes a bully of sorts. He has a bunch of his friends break into Bilbo’s house and they eat his life supply of food that he had hidden. That’s not a very nice thing to do and they never gave him money or any sort of compensation. Bilbo doesn’t have any food in his house anymore and that’s not something that he should forget so easily.

It’s a bit of a running gag at this point, but it should still be noted that Gandalf is a bad magician. Bilbo directly tells Gandalf this and the old man seems to be disturbed at the statement. Gandalf is in no position to argue this since he spends the film running away from villains or using his sword to fight. He rarely uses magic and it would seem that he doesn’t have that much magical energy. Gandalf is definitely not an ally that you want at your side.

I won’t really get into the main cast since they all seem like throwaway characters at this point, but I’ll at least mention Thorin. He’s the rightful heir to the area that is enslaved by Smaug and he aims to take it back. This is a noble gesture, but it’s one that is definitely misplaced. He doesn’t comprehend how weak he is, even after he is defeated several times during the films. He’s not really a match for random trolls and he is effortlessly defeated by Azog. Does Thorin really think that he can defeat Smaug in this state? He’s definitely deluding himself and he’s going to lead all of his friends to their deaths. One can’t really blame him for trying to stay away from the elves, but he should also realize that his little crew doesn’t stand a chance without their help.

Azog is one of the big villains so he definitely deserves a mention. It’s unknown why he’s so much stronger than the average minion, but he’s defeated many opponents and he’s also pretty large. He’s definitely a fighter that will keep on appearing, but I can’t say that I appreciate him as a villain. He’s still just a generic minion to me…he just got lucky and acquired super abilities.

Smaug doesn’t really appear much, but it’s easy to see why he may be defeated. He’s sleeping among the riches, which means that he hasn’t been training for decades and he’s barely moved. He’ll be out of shape and not really ready for his climatic battle. This likely will not be addressed, but it will lead to his downfall. Smaug is a cool looking dragon, but he’s not as intimidating as the characters suspect. Still, he’s definitely a rich dragon!

Gollum also appears in this film. If you liked him in the original three films, then you’ll like him here. I still can’t root for this guy because I didn’t like his backstory and I just never really liked the character. Bear in mind the fact that I don’t like any of the humanoids in the franchise, but I just did not like him. He gets to fight with Bilbo Baggins in this film, (in another really long scene) but that’s about it as far as his role goes. Maybe he’ll appear again, but it would be as necessary as the rock giants coming back.

The special effects of the film still look awful. The fire from Smaug didn’t look bad and the rock monsters were all right, but the rest of it still looks old. This is intentional of course, but I still can’t disregard that so easily. I don’t want to watch something that looks old on purpose! That defeats the whole cinematic experience. I don’t mind things that adapt the old times, but they should still look new. It’s what the fans expect after all!….or at least it’s what I expect. There is no soundtrack to speak of, so I will skip that part.

The Hobbit is the start of a new trilogy and it will be interesting to see how it fares. This film already felt like it had a slow pace, so I can only imagine how the next two films will feel. I do have some mild hopes that it will surpass the original trilogy, but it will definitely be a close battle. It would appear that Legolas will be coming back in the sequel, which is a good start. This definitely isn’t my kind of film, but that makes reviewing them so much fun! I’m not a fan of the franchise, but I can safely say that I am a fan of the video games and that’s what counts in the longruns. Video Games>>>Movies over 90% of the time.

I almost skipped the negatives section! Well, I’ve already mentioned most of those while writing the actual review. This can be considered as more of a quick summary for the negatives. The film drags on too long and none of the characters are particularly likable. The fight scenes are still really bad and far too realistic/graphic/not fun/old for me to really get into them. There’s no real soundtrack and there isn’t really a sense of danger. The main characters are all rude and the film has quite a few gross scenes. That’s a few too many if you ask me! That’s basically the array of negatives in a nutshell, but I could likely think of more if I really tried.

Overall, The Hobbit is better than the final Lord of the Rings film and it can hold its own against the first two. It improved in some ways, but stayed the same in most of them. I definitely can’t recommend this film and I would sooner tell you to watch the inevitable Dragon Ball Evolution sequel. Fans of LOTR should like it, but those fans have likely seen it by now. To the rest of you, I recommend playing the LOTR video games for Gamecube instead. Contrary to popular opinion, they’re actually pretty fun and sufficiently tough. They’ll eat up more time than the films, but it’s completely worth it!

Overall 3/10

The Lord of The Rings hasn’t had a good track record so far and this won’t be the movie that changes things. It ends the trilogy all right, but I’m afraid that it doesn’t end on a bang. That being said, get ready for a lot of shots at the movie series and many of them will be aimed at Frodo. If you like this film…then you’ve been warned!

The plot is essentially the same as always. Frodo and his friend are on an adventure to get to the mountain where they can burn the ring in the fire. That specific fire is the only thing that can melt the ring since it’s the area that created it. Frodo and Sam are still with Gollum, but can they truly trust him? Frodo clearly thinks so and he can’t be wrong…right!? There is also another plot where Aragorn and friends must defeat the villains! That may not be their original goal, but it’s what they end up getting ready for. A war to end all wars!!

All right, there are many negatives to be named, but we should start from the beginning. The film literally has one of the worst cinematic openings of all time and it was terrible. We get to see Gollum’s origin, but it certainly won’t help you gain respect for the character or the other guy that was with him. They both lack strength of character and you’ll find yourself shutting your eyes for the first time in the film. It won’t be the last time, but it’s definitely something to think about. It should be noted that this is the first Lord of The Rings film where I did not fall asleep for any periods of the film…a true feat!!

Intro out of the way, let’s talk about Frodo Baggins. He’s still the main character of the film and he’s as unlikable as ever. When he’s not betraying his best friend or falling into the darkness that consumes him; Frodo is usually getting knocked around by one villain or another. He’s easily the weakest willed character that I’ve seen in decades and he makes Bilbo look good. Frodo nearly destroys Sam because he wants the ring and then he’s quickly defeated by a large spider. Sam saves him, but then Frodo vaguely threatens him and snatches the ring again.

Frodo is terrible! Did I already say that? Either way, Frodo has his big moment at the end of the film where he finally arrives at the mountain…and trips. He’s far too weak to walk at all so Sam is forced to carry him to the top. Okay, Frodo’s still got a shot at keeping himself as an unlikable character, but not an atrocious one if he just throws the ring in the lava right? I’m afraid that Frodo lacks the strength for that and he falls into the power of darkness. After he puts on the ring, Frodo essentially cracks and shows his true villainous colors. He loses a finger for his decision and nearly loses his life as well. He may have lived, but not really, since he will not be going on a long adventure and I have a feeling that he shall never return from it. It’s hard to see why anyone would be Frodo’s friend at this point and he’s one of the worst characters that I’ve seen in ages.

Time and time again, Frodo proves that he is only interested in himself. He never makes a real effort to resist the powers of the ring and he doesn’t care about the thousands of casualties that would occur when he didn’t throw the ring in the lava. It should also be noted that he caused Sauron to notice him by freezing up and then fainting for no reason. The sooner that we forget about Frodo, the better!

I’m afraid that the fight scenes also didn’t do it for me. It’s not really the film’s fault this time since war fight scenes will never be any fun for me. It’s super realistic and not really enjoyable to watch. There is also a lot of plot hax involved and the heroes really didn’t stand a chance. They’re badly outnumbered and I just did not buy the outcome. It’s one of those situation where the heroes win…because they’re heroes.

Gandalf is still a pretty unlikable character. He’s supposed to be a very powerful sorcerer, but he can never fight when it counts. He actually engages in hand to hand combat like the rest of the warriors and that doesn’t really help him in the power department. He typically has a flashy entrance, but that won’t be enough to save him. He’s just too old for battle at this point.

Aragorn gets a big role and he must use his sword to help the heroes win the battle. He does this by threatening a large group of spirits and forcing them into the battle. The spirits are pretty powerful so it’s not bad for them, but how did the threats work? I like to think that they could have made mince meat out of him. They likely only went through with it because of the deal that they made. Aragorn gets a few plot twists and all, but we must remember that he is just a side character in the end. He left to get reinforcements and he nearly didn’t arrive in time to save the day!

We’ve also got the Wraiths and the leader is given a lot of hype. He definitely doesn’t deserve it since one good hit is enough to obliterate him. So much for being “immortal” eh? It was cool for the lady who defeated him, but it definitely won’t help his fanbase. More importantly, it means that I will likely never become a fan of this guy. His lack of power and speed disturb me.

Legolas and Gimli are still around, but there roles are shortened compared to the second film. Legolas is still a decent character and Gimli is still all talk. For Legolas, it’s hard to be a great character in such a film. I like the character that they were aiming for him to be and he beats most of the cast. Legolas is definitely a better character than Gimli and Gimli can never seem to back up his tough talk. There was also a King who went mad and nearly made the ultimate sacrifice, but it was unneeded and it would have meant that an innocent would perish. He’s definitely not a heroic king, but I hope that you were not expecting one. He meets his end with a blazing glory!

There are other characters of course, but you get the jist of it. This is a film where the cast isn’t really likable. Bilbo gets no respect to the very end and his last line heavily implies that he still lacks strength of character. He still wants the dark powers that the ring has and that’s not a great way for him to go out. The lady who destroyed the Wraith was a decent character, but remembering her name is a little tricky. Needless to say, it’s the character that matters…not the name! There is still no character in this film that I like enough to call myself a fan. Unfortunately, nobody is quite that intense!

There isn’t much of a soundtrack in this film and that can be a little sad. One of the few positives that the first film had, was the music. The film is still way too long for it’s own good. Usually, it would be great to see a movie that is over 150 minutes, but not in this case. If 2 hours of the film had been cut, then maybe it would not have dragged out so much. Unfortunately, that is hard to say for sure. I’m not sure if I mentioned the graphics yet, but they’re about as bad as the first two films. This feels more like an 80’s film than one that came out in the 2000’s. I don’t know who the director is, but I definitely would be wary of his next film.

There is some romance at the end of the film that is quickly thrown in. It happens very suddenly and you will expect that the writers just wanted you to exit the film on a happy note, but it wouldn’t succeed. The film made sure that this wasn’t possible as the final, final scene involves Frodo as he ditches his friends once again. He does not tell them that he is leaving since he can’t be bothered with such things. He’s definitely a hero all right………

So…was there anything good about this film? There must be, since it didn’t get a 1 or a 0! Well, I can’t really think of anything good about the film. It isn’t a 1 or a 0 because it would have to be a lot worse to earn one of those scores. Rest assured, the film does not have a cliffhanger so we don’t need to worry about a sequel. (Sure, he says that the adventure may not have ended, but it’s basically ended. He’s not going to have another big journey)

In the end, I did not like any of the Lord of The Rings films. When a film has a giant spider that can actually defeat the main protagonist, but is still a pretty unlikable character…then you know that the film series is doomed. I can safely say that it is one of those classics that is not actually good and it’s easily a weaker group of films than the live action Super Mario Bros film. Why did the films get such low ratings and how did I come to have such a low opinion of them? There are many factors, but they mainly involve realism and length.

The films are all way too long and it shows. We get many scenes that are dragged out to impossible lengths. Still, the worst part of the film may be how realistic it can get. I never like things to be realistic and especially if it means that we’ll be getting boring fight scenes. We get a lot of those since the only good fight scene in the entire trilogy was the Gandalf vs Balrog battle. It’s really hard to care about any of the characters throughout the trilogy and it could be because of their lack of morals.

This is a “realistic” war film so none of the characters have any qualms about destroying whoever gets in their way. The films aren’t extremely violent by any means, but due to the length of amount of zoom ins that we get, it actually feels more violent than films like Terminator or Jaws. (I would say Alien, but that is definitely debatable!) The tone of the film doesn’t really help either since you’ll never walk away from the film feeling like you just saw something epic like Man of Steel or fun like the Avengers. You just leave and wonder what happened to the last few hours of your life. The gritty, realistic feel of the movies may be for some, but I’ll take the atmosphere and effects of the new Pac-Man show over this. Having something be so realistic just destroys the whole point of the film for me.

One of the big flaws for the trilogy is the fact that all of the humans seem to be weak willed. Gandalf refuses to hold the ring in the first film because he could not resist its power. If Gandalf doesn’t have enough will power, then that really says something about the whole franchise. They’re all weak willed and it’s easy to see how Sauron took over. I don’t see how the heroes ever had a chance. They’re definitely lucky that Sauron is only about as tough as a mere mortal.

Overall, the trilogy has come to a conclusion! As much as I did not like the first film, it only went downhill from there. The second film wasn’t as good as the first and the third was much worse than the second. I would say that things continue to spiral downwards, but the Hobbit was better than this film. I shall be reviewing that one in the near future. Needless to say, I doubt that I’ll ever watch this film again and I really don’t recommend it. Don’t trust the reviews for this film! It’s legendary, but it’s mostly nostalgia at this point and it’s a classic that many feel like they have to like it. It doesn’t actually warrant the high ratings that it gets. If you like war films and autobiographical movies, then you may like this one. If you’re looking for an epic war film, go watch the first Bleach film!

Overall 2/10

The Journey continues all right! Get ready to see the heroes travel for a while and then have the “epic” showdown at the two towers. This sequel doesn’t really fare any better than the first film and does make some serious mistakes that essentially dig its own grave. Time to see what mistake could have been so fatal!

The plot continues from the last film. Frodo and his companion keep on heading to the villain base so that they can throw the ring back into the lava from whence it came. Unfortunately, it’s a very long journey and since Frodo lacks strength of character, they could be doomed before they even start! In the other plot, Aragorn, Legolas, and the third member of their party seek to rescue the two hobbits. It will be tough and they shall have to overcome many obstacles to do so!

The film suffers from one of the major holes that most films suffer from. Unnecessary animal violence. It definitely didn’t help me like Gollum anymore than I did in the first film and the scenes were very wince worthy. There was just too many cases of animal violence and I immediately knew that the film could score no higher than a 3. The film just hasn’t changed much since the first one.

The characters are still very unlikable. Some characters are decent like Aragorn and Legolas, but they still won’t really rank in the long run. Balrog is a decent villain, but he looked pretty weak since he couldn’t beat a human sorcerer. Frodo is even worse than in the first film because he shows that he can be easily corrupted. He nearly destroys his friend without hesitation and it won’t really help you to sympathize with him. Merry was also a terrible character since he was very mean to the trees. I felt bad for the creatures. It wasn’t their war after all and the hobbits didn’t really care if they died since they were only trees. It’s not as if Merry would be doing any of the real fighting, so he was just putting the trees in danger.

The fight scenes are about what you’d expect and people keep on swinging their swords. The amount of plot hax in the fights were staggering since you would see people jump right into the army and he would not get hurt. There are many points where people literally run into the spears and they do not get hurt. I feel bad for the horses since they’re the ones who take the most damage. It just isn’t fair to the poor creatures. The fight scenes just aren’t impressive and they really drag on.

The Lord of the Rings is the first film series where I nearly went unconscious for both films. They really should have cut out a good 90-120 minutes of the film. They never cease to make me tired and feel like I need some sleep. It’s because there are a lot of unnecessary scenes and times where the characters talk for nor reason. We don’t need to see their day to day life! Usually, talking can be interesting, but not if you dislike both of the characters who are talking. It just doesn’t work!

The effects are a little better than the first film, but they should still look a lot better considering that we’re past the year 2000. The soundtrack is all right I suppose, but none of the themes really stood out this time around. It’s the end of an era!

There’s not much more to say about it. I could go more into depth with the characters, but they just aren’t likable. The trees are all right, but ultimately you can’t count on their survival. The Lord of the Rings may be very popular, but I only enjoy the games at this point. I’m wondering if the Hobbit trilogy will be better. It’s newer, but at the same time…the graphics look about as bad, if not worse than this film’s effects. That’s definitely not a good sign.

The film has a direct cliffhanger to lead into the next film, but it doesn’t come off as epic or intriguing. You don’t really care what’s going to the heroes and you’re just looking to get out of the theater and into your car so that you can pick up a bowl of mashed potatoes at KFC. This film nearly cracked 1 billion dollars in the box office, which is pretty intense. The series has a large following so I know that many still enjoy it. I’m sure that the series is cooler in the EU. An anime for the franchise could be intense.

If I were to compare this movie series to many of the other big names, it still would not be in last. I prefer this series to James Bond and Pirates of the Carrabean after all. It just gets completely wrecked by other classics like Star Wars, Jaws, Godzilla, and Terminator. I do appreciate the fact that the series is still going since more films is always a good thing. It gives us more scenes to appreciate, no matter how bad they may be. They could do a lot with a modern film and they should try to embrace that. A 1 hour film taking place 1000 years in the future would have a Lot of potential. It’s something that I could actually be intrigued by since we need more Sci-Fi films.

Overall, this is a film that I highly do not recommend checking out. The series may be legendary, but its reputation highly outweighs the actual film. If you like old war movies and realistic warrior fights, then you may enjoy this film. The effects are still pretty dated and the characters are hard to root for, but one can look past all of that. Still, you would be much better off watching the new Pac-Man show on TV. If you want a movie to replace this one, then check out the original Pokemon movie. It has more action and the graphics are much better. I highly doubt that the trilogy can end on a high note, but it should be better than this film so that’s always a plus. This review was actually a little tough to write since it is easy to just bash a film for a while, but one can only bash each section for so long. If the next film is at the same level as this one, then I will likely have a longer review at the ready since the whole trilogy would have been underwhelming. I shall see the finale at some point, so you can expect a review someday. Meanwhile, go check out Pokemon!

Overall 3/10