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Violent Night Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film thar really lives up to its name. If you wanted to watch a really violent Christmas film, well then you’re in the right place. It’s mainly played up for comedy but gets quite extreme as the film goes on. There are definitely a lot more misses than positives in this title but I really appreciated how some of the underlings performed in the fights.

The movie starts by introducing us to Jason and Linda whose relationship is on the rocks. They thought they could make things work but have now given up. This last Christmas party will be their last one together. The big issue between them is Linda feels like Jason always defers to his rich mother and worries too much about money. We’re not given a ton of context here since that part of the plot isn’t super important but Jason doesn’t deny any of it so this seems to be true. So the two of them head to the party with their daughter Trudy and have to tolerate all of their rich family members who hate each other. They are all just here for the mother’s money. Unfortunately a group of crooks with a whole lot of insider knowledge show up to steal all of the money. The only one who can stop them…is Santa Clause.

Yes, in this universe Santa Clause is real. He is very jaded with the job though and doesn’t really like humanity anymore. This was going to be his last job but unfortunately he is inside the house when the robbers attack and his reindeer fly away. Santa will have to find a way to escape but it won’t be easy. Additionally, his conscience isn’t too happy about this because Trudy is on the nice list and shouldn’t die here. Santa used to be a fighter over 1000 years ago…does he still have the skills?

Now you may wonder about how people don’t know that Santa is real when he is leaving presents. Well, the film actually explains that a little. He doesn’t give presents to literally everyone, just the people who really need him. I take that to mean families with a lot of dysfunction where they either wouldn’t notice a present or would assume someone else got it. As a result, the secret of Santa is safe. They don’t really get into the logistics of how he visits everyone in a single night but I guess we can go with the time displacement approach where every house is in its own pocket dimension on Christmas where these events happen simultaneously.

Santa’s magical abilities are a bit all over the place and in the film he mentions that he doesn’t really know how they even work. That is a good way to make sure that he isn’t too overpowered. As a result Santa is actually on the defensive for a good chunk of the film. He was being absolutely dominated by the first opponent and then also had a really tough time against the second one. I actually liked this because often times the minions are shown to be incredibly disposable when realistically they should be putting up some kind of a fight right? So that was pretty impressive and those fights had quite a bit of back and forth to them.

Santa’s character arc is also a classic although they may have went a little too far in how jaded they made him. He gets some pretty rough scenes early on like with how drunk he is and throwing up. There isn’t a ton of crude humor here but that was a tough scene for him to rebound from. The film’s writing can be a bit of a mixed bag as well here. The film has some great lines like “Santa’s coming to town” and when Santa is announcing all of his lines. Scrooge also gets some really good ones as the villain. Basically this is the kind of film that is going to wow you with some of the dialogue, but you do have to ignore that everybody talks like a sailor. They all swear up a storm constantly So that does make the script a bit weak even with all of the big moments.

Now where the film does unfortunately lose me is when the violence gets cranked up to 100. This is easily one of the most violent films I’ve seen in a minute, I dare say it may even pass John Wick in this area. Yes, the violence is played for laughs but there is still a whole lot of it and it is unrelenting. The whole climax is basically a contest to see how violently characters can die. It’s not even just Santa’s onslaught but the home alone subplot with Trudy goes for the most painful moments possible. You’ve also got one guy getting attacked by the nutcracker which was another brutal moment. This definitely hurt the film quite a bit with how excessive this is. It needed to be toned down.

The film is at its best when it’s just having fun with the concepts. Just letting people adapt to the idea of Santa and watching him crush everyone. The film doesn’t take itself overly serious and that’s a good thing. A wacky concept should have a wacky execution and that will let the whole thing flow really well. Without all of the ultra violence this would have definitely been a lot higher. Now if you’re not too squeamish, then this should still be an absolute W for you.

There are obviously going to be some power level issues here but of course you’re not meant to take it too seriously. Scrooge makes for a really good villain because after watching Santa massacre everyone, he is still prepared to fight to the end. Now that is a brave villain and it’s nice to see one who is willing to fight to the end like that. It’s something that you don’t see all that often in a film like this. He also does now how to fight pretty well considering how close he came to winning.

Personally I’m not too interested in Santa’s past so I’d prefer that the sequel focuses on the future but we’ll see how it goes. There are a decent amount of plot points ready for the sequel and there are a ton of different directions the movie can go. Maybe even introduce another legend for Santa to fight. This could be a proper cinematic universe if they want to go down that route although I imagine a lot of the companies will be squeamish about this.

Now most o the characters are annoying but I’ll give Trudy props for not ending up like the others. She’s still trying to be a good kid and do the right things. She knows how to defend herself and assists Santa throughout the movie. She surpasses most kid characters in this regard because they tend to get in the way while she is actively helping out. She definitely gets a passing grade in my book.

There isn’t really much saving the other characters. Jason may have had a big plan but he shouldn’t have let the marriage get to such a negative point in the first place. Meanwhile Linda is okay and we don’t know how much of this is on her but she wasn’t really helping matters. From all of the unlikable family members, Gertrude is easily the best one because of how smug and overconfident she is. I can really appreciate that in a character, particularly in a villain. She is able to hold her own with the banter for quite a while there.

Overall, Violent Night is a film that is having a lot of fun with the concept. The film is extremely violent and there are a lot of things happening at all times. On one hand I think the film does a pretty good job of living up to the name but on the other that is pretty much what doomed it. The film just gets way too excessive at different points. The script could have also used a lot of work. There is some novelty to be had with watching this film but ultimately, I would end up giving it a thumbs down. This will not end up being the next Die Hard classic.

Overall 3/10

Death Wish Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

It’s time for a film that has quite the controversial reputation over the years for how intense it gets. It’s definitely a film that really got the vigilante genre popular and to this day it’s something that it used in many films. The vigilante route is always a hard solution to deny, particularly in a film like this where it seems like the only reasonable answer to all of the violence.

The film starts off by introducing us to Paul who is reminded by his coworker of how much violence is going on in NYC. Paul just tries to keep to himself and still have a good time rather than live in fear but this does catch up to him. His wife is murdered and his daughter is left in a vegetative state where she isn’t really alive anymore. This pushes Paul to start carrying a weapon with him. It proves effective when he is attacked and after a trip to California, Paul finds that he now has a gun when his contact slipped one into his bag. Why have a gun if you’re not going to use it? That’s essentially Paul’s mindset as he becomes the hunter and aims to go after all the criminals.

Surprisingly we never actually get to have Paul meet the villains from the first scene to put them 6 feet under. I can only assume that would be in a sequel or there’s some super deep narrative reason to avoid that. Whatever the reason was, it would have been more satisfying to have seen Paul take them down. He should get that level of reward after everything that he went through. It would have at least been a fun moment to see.

Now where the film really messes up is by going way too far in the opening scene. Films like this always try to really stress just how evil everyone is in order to make the point for the vigilante. Sure, I get that but you don’t really have to go to a 10 on this. Now, fortunately I saw the TV version which seems to gloss over the opening scene pretty well as it’s mostly just mentioned a lot after the fact. If the scene was on screen then this would be a quick and immediate 0/10. So the film is spared from that fate but even then, the whole plot about what they did to Paul’s daughter did not need to be in the film. That level of ugliness has no place in any film.

It’s a real shame too because after that the film is pretty good about not being explicit. There are certainly a lot of people getting shot throughout the movie but it’s not really all that violent in comparison. Paul moves like a trained killer, only using one bullet per target. He then dashes off to get some more crooks. The camera doesn’t linger on the dead all that much and in general a quick bullet wound isn’t going to be too bad.

I thought the movie also did a good job by showing how the political leaders didn’t want to stop Paul either. Rather, they needed to stop the killings but just get him out of there. That way they could still take credit for the drop in crime without having to rely on a vigilante. That kind of self serving mentality absolutely seems realistic to me and certainly not out of the ordinary. Also everyone in the streets were supporting Paul because they are the ones dealing with all of the crime.

Paul shoots at least 10-15 different crook to death here and it may have been more than that. This is a massive difference to the living standards of the neighborhood when you consider that these are all going to be repeat offenders. It’s clear that they were used to committing these crimes and stopping anyone in their way. So lets say on average each crook is robbing someone once day, well you’ve just dropped 30 crimes per person each month.

The city was living in fear and now they aren’t. Again, that’s why vigilantism is so tempting because you are ending crooks who only serve to disrupt everyday people from their lives. It’s clear that this problem was too big for the cops to handle here and so Paul went to work. The film certainly shows the weaknesses of law and order as you would need to try and get proof on these criminals, get some witnesses, wait months for the court date, etc, etc.

Obviously there ae reasons why vigilantism cannot be accepted in every day society. You’ll get lots of copy cats, many with different morals and sets of values. Additionally, you would have to constantly be looking around you since everyone would be very trigger happy. So lots of pros and cons but at least in this film it is clearly the only way to go. The criminals are extremely brazen with how they assault people at all times of the day and at any location. Paul made sure that this won’t be happening quite as often.

The character cast is actually really small in this one. Aside from Paul you do have his son in law who mainly represents the film’s take on what non-vigilantes are doing about things. He is constantly sad about what happened to his wife but isn’t actually doing anything about this. He just hopes that society will get better and talks about how they should have moved away. It’s not a very flattering look for this character.

Then you have the police chief who definitely wants to take Paul down but has no real support to do this. So he’s just really annoyed the whole time since his hands are basically tied behind his back. He’s a fun character to have around and gives some of the rare humor moments within the film. This is largely a serious film after all. It is nice to see Paul enjoying himself as he takes down the crooks though. At times he gets a little too cocky and takes a hit that he shouldn’t but does make short work out of his opponents. In this business t is important to finish off each target or they will be back out there soon enough and Paul will be in even more danger.

Overall, Death Wish is one of those films with a really intense plot. It certainly gives you a lot of reason to be sympathetic to Paul and what he is trying to do here. At the same time, the film just goes too far in order to make that point. That’s what really makes you shake your head here. If the film could have had some more tact then it really could have been remembered as one of the good ones. So ultimately I am going to have to recommend skipping this one. I’m hopeful that the sequels will be better since they can just jump right into the action but this is also the kind of plot that is easy to mess up. It always needs to be handled carefully.

Overall 3/10

Our Souls at Night Review

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There aren’t too many films about romance that blooms when the main characters are seniors so this was definitely different. It makes sense that folks can get lonely even when they are in the twilight years. Personally I would tend to advise against entering a relationship at that late stage but you just hope for the best. The film had some potential but it can’t resist adding in a bunch of drama which ultimately hurts things in the end.

The film starts by introducing us to Louis. He’s really old but has a solid routine every day. He hangs out with his friends and then heads home. Life goes on as normal and he doesn’t seem to have any complaints. Well, one day his neighbor Addie shows up and says they should start sleeping together so the nights won’t feel as long. It’s certainly the strangest offer Louis has gotten but she confirms this will be purely platonic. Luis decides to give this a shot but in the most shocking of plot twists, he begins to fall for her. How could this happen and what should he do about this?

Now obviously this was always going to be the end result. There are loads of lies that you can tell yourself but the biggest one is that you can hang out every night on the bed with someone and not catch feelings at some point. It’s why friends with benefits has always been a bunch of immoral nonsense but also why you don’t go to naked saunas or hot springs adventures with your friends. If you want to keep your friends and not succumb to impulses, you shouldn’t be entering spaces and situations that aren’t meant for them.

The instant Addie made the offer, it was clear to both parties deep in their mind that a romance would happen. The whole deal just wouldn’t make sense otherwise. From that point on, if they’re both on board then there’s technically nothing wrong with it. It would still feel like a rebound to me though and like I said before I just wouldn’t recommend a late stage romance. Why not?

Well when you enter into any kind of relationship you have to take the good with the bad. The bad in this case is likely going to involve a lot of medical issues and deaths of friends due to how old they all are. You’re potentially getting super close to someone who is not going to be around for much longer. That happens even in a young relationship since by extension you now know double the people which means more chances of bad things happening. It’s not a great way to look at things but you have to when you have two people 70+ who are going to be getting together now.

Then we also learn that Louis wasn’t the best guy in his youth. He cheated on his wife and while they patched things up later on, his social reputation was destroyed. You can’t full recover from something like that, the trust is just gone. I felt this was a really unnecessary part of the film. One of those classic plots to show how everyone makes a ton of big mistakes. Why couldn’t Louis just be a good guy?

Meanwhile Addie doesn’t have any big moments of crisis in her past but in the present she is the one who ultimately chooses her other responsibilities over Louis. She started this whole arrangement and yet she’s the one to end it? That’s not a particularly good look. Her ungrateful son spends a lot of the film getting drunk and whining but it sounds to me like she did her best. I didn’t have a problem with any of the issues that guy had been raising up.

In general the kids are the most annoying characters though. Addie’s son Gene is trying to raise his son on his own after the wife left but it seems clear why she did. He gets drunk a lot, isn’t able to properly control himself, and can’t land a job. Perhaps Gene is trying hard but there is really no excuse for when he left his kid all by himself and started drinking. He’s always looking for a fight and is quick to blame others but doesn’t take ownership of his faults. Even by the end of the film we have no reason to think that he has changed at all.

Then we have Louis’ daughter Holly who gets far less screentime but also doesn’t do very well. She comes off as very aggressive during the lunch meeting about how she’s going on her adventure and blames Louis for not being there. Her therapist wanted her to make it very clear to Louis about this so that she could have closure and all. It just seemed to come out of nowhere. Naturally we know that the past events led up to this but it always feels petty to just launch an attack after a long period like this.

Once you’re an adult you have to be responsible for your decisions. Holding onto old grudges is not a good idea but even if you do, just keep it to yourself at that point. Don’t go and set up a meetup just to do more complaining. If Gene was so unhappy, then he shouldn’t be going to Addie for help. Holly could have just gone on her adventure without stopping by to rub Louis’ nose in it. Like I said, the characters are just unlikable.

I also can’t say that I liked any of Louis’ main friends. They’re basically around to be crude and start the rumor mill but that’s all that they are here to do. Louis takes offense at it because he’s the main character this time but from how they were talking, this is probably a regular thing. It doesn’t reflect well on Louis to be hanging out with these characters.

For a slow burn film like this, it helps a lot if the characters are all pleasant. I think that Hallmark could do a really good job with this premise for example. They should have also played up the romance to be more gradual. Instead of the two running to a hotel to try and act like teenagers again, have them do an actual courtship and build up to the end process. Get married first and make it official instead of all this hidden stuff.

As a more minor note, there is a lot of screentime for taking care of Gene’s kid while he is out playing the fool. Louis and Addie do a good job of taking care of him but getting a dog was a big mistake. For starters, both of them aren’t going to last very long so that raises questions on what will happen to the dog. Ultimately they end up giving him to Gene instead. Gene can’t even raise a kid tho, let alone a dog. So that’s the kind of decision that just seems to be very iffy at best.

Overall, Our Souls at Night shows exactly why you don’t want to be getting into any secret entanglements. Eventually everyone finds out and even if you double down, it’s just not going to last. I didn’t particularly enjoy the ending because it felt very avoidable but in a way it is realistic. The situationship worked for a while but now Addie doesn’t need any help to sleep since she’s not alone and so she chose the responsibilities over Louis. Ultimately the biggest moral of the story is, if anyone ever asks you to do something inherently intimate but claims that it will be platonic….listen to your common sense and reject the offer. I did enjoy the small town atmosphere at least, it seemed like a fun area to live in.

Overall 4/10

Barefoot in the Park Review

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Uh oh, it’s time for a romance film. Usually that means you are about to be seeing a really weak romance but of course the film could surprise us? Nah that doesn’t really happen here. There is a good amount of humor within the film but it also gets hurt by some of the characters being really unlikable. It’s the classic example of a film that is pretty fun for most of the adventure but does end up running out of steam before the ending.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Corie and Paul who have just gotten married. Things are going really well for them and right away we see the contrast in personalities here. Corie loves trolling Paul and putting him in embarrassing situations while Paul pretends not to enjoy it too much and so they’ve had a great bond. Well, their bond gets put to the test when they move into Corie’s apartment on the 6th floor which has no heating, almost no room, and no elevator service. Paul isn’t in particularly good shape and so walking up the 5 flights is a real struggle. They also have to deal with an upstairs neighbor named Victor who is not particularly subtle with his flirting towards Corie. How will things turn out?

First off, I will say that the comedy in the film is pretty impressive. I enjoy the banter between the characters and also think that Corie has a good sense of humor. Yes, most of her jokes do have the potential to get Paul punched out or in serious trouble but the high stakes nature of the jokes are what makes them work. I also think those jokes are not really a bad idea at all in strengthening their relationship.

The film also gets a lot of leverage out of the 6th floor part. It’s hard to see why it’s such a big deal to walk up all those flights but I can overlook that because the various jokes are just funny. Then we have Paul trying to keep up with Corie’s energy even if it means trying strange foods. You definitely feel bad for him there because that is a real struggle all the way around.

Now for the romance, it starts out good but does take a tumble by the end. Their relationship should not have been so easy to crush. Surprisingly the film doesn’t really go for the jealousy card with Victor here but instead plays up that Paul feels like a stiff compared to Corie. When she basically admits to that, then they go through a lot of troubles which only resolve with Paul having to play the fool for a bit. Jestermaxing as the kids would say nowadays.

I didn’t think that was a good resolution. For starters, it does play into Corie actually feeling that way to an extent. I would have preferred her to come to the realization that she wants a guy who is very steady and not going to get drunk and such. Have her tone down her own behavior a bit. My biggest issue with the film was how she would act around Victor. It’s one thing to be friendly but I thought she was a bit overboard with him. Victor would really get away with flirting and the way he helped her get down from the AC was absolutely fresh.

The film is mainly content to never make Victor out to be the villain but I would have liked Paul to put him in his place. Boundaries are always important to consider. I say this as someone who does hold the unpopular opinion that you can have really close friends of the opposite sex at all times. Whether married or not, there are wholesome friendships to be had but that is precisely why you need boundaries. If your friend is genuine, then they will respect them and everyone will have a great time.

Then we have a whole subplot where Corie tries to set up her mother Ethel with Victor. Setting someone up on a blind date is always a bad thing to do here and then to see it work can be rather annoying. Victor is introduced as a character with quite the reputation of getting around so why would this possibly be a good idea?

You have to assume that it all works out but it is a strong assumption all the way through. Ethel was a good character though. Romance aside, she did her best to be supportive of Corie and Paul the whole way through. There were plenty of opportunities for her to complain about things like the way the apartment looked but she tried to find the positive side of things.

As for Paul, he mainly did good but unfortunately looks bad at the end when he gets super drunk. Essentially he was trying to prove that he could be fun but in that instant he lost the high ground. I would have preferred that he stuck to his guns and eventually Corie would realize why he was a good man. Some mistake the ability to get drunk and go to clubs as being a fun person when you don’t need any of that. The ability to have fun without being intoxicated is a much more honorable trait.

So the film was pretty solid but really just fumbled when the plot had to get serious. The film probably felt like it needed to have some drama to end things off but this was the wrong way to do it. It just came at the expense of both characters and that’s never a good thing. Additionally, pretty much every scene with Victor just came across as annoying. I would have much preferred that the film be built around the apartment and that’s where the fun comes from. You could have both characters arguing over how the apartment should look and that would easily have enough material for a whole film.

Overall, This is a film that’s pretty fun but does get hurt quite a bit by the end. The end is ultimately what will leave the biggest impact on you so that was a really rough way to go. If you do like a classic comedy-romance then you should probably still check this one out. Just be prepared to see a whole lot of wasted potential here as the film focuses far too much on Ethel and Victor who try to take over the film. You just want to get back to the main duo but they don’t get much of a chance by the middle portion since it leads right to the big fight for the climax. It was a fresh change of pace to have the characters married from the start though rather than waiting until the very end.

Overall 4/10

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Review

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It’s been many years but I am finally getting to rewatch the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang film. I can tell you right now, this is not a film that has aged any better than the first time around. There’s barely a plot going on here and the film just never manages to capture your attention. I have to admit that it was probably better before the film went into dream world and even then the intro wasn’t all that great. It’s a rare mix of a lot of old time story telling devices that just failed at the same time.

The film starts off by introducing us to Mr. Potts who is a really crazy inventor who also happens to be extremely defensive at all times. Quite the impressive combo of traits eh? Well, one day he ends up meeting a lady named Truly who considers him to be a real bore. He doesn’t take proper care of his kids and is far too aloof. Potts rejects all of that and may be right because he immediately wins her over to the point where she’s grinning and laughing less than 10 minutes from their meetup. Potts even works on selling some whistle candies to her father although that doesn’t end up going so well.

Potts tries a bunch of other crazy inventions like an automatic hair cutter and even rebuilds a car. It’s still rather bumpy so he calls it Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Quite the name eh? Well, this is a perfect time to tell a story about some corruption among the rich and a fantastical kingdom where pirates are trying to steal the car. CCBB is a very unique car after all that can even turn into a boat. It’s all really crazy but can Potts impress Truly enough for them to get married?

Now this film is in an interesting position with the humor. For example, it does have a lot of slapstick and goofy humor with all the characters running around. It’s pretty direct and in your face which is usually a humor style that I rather enjoy quite a lot. That being said, it felt like the film was missing the punchline half the time. You have all the setup for a bunch of jokes but then they all just go through the motions.

The film is also a musical which doesn’t really work out well. As with most musicals, the songs just aren’t all that great. The songs aren’t super bad or anything but none of them are the kind that you will be humming along to. The funniest part of them is really just to enjoy the scenes ironically. This is a pretty good film to watch ironically like if you view it as a super serious product and then go from there. That has its limits though and doesn’t make it a super strong film.

The romance is also not going to be one of the better ones and this is pretty much self evident. It’s hard to see how Truly goes from finding Potts to be super annoying and unlikable to being in love with him shortly afterwards. In context it’s not even like they knew each other a super long time. He was telling a story for a good chunk of the time after all and there weren’t any big time skips to where they were hanging out for a few months or something. She was won over way too quickly.

Yes, this is a comedy film but I don’t think that works as an actual defense here. You still could have had slower pacing and allowed for things to work out gradually. Or just have Potts be likable from the start. Instead of being super defensive about the amount of freedom he gives his kids, have him apologize and admit that she was right. Then Truly understands how mature he is and things go well from there. That would be the easiest fix.

Okay lets talk about the story now. So the Baron wants the legendary Chitty Chitty Bang Bang car and so he has two bumbling agents constantly trying to get it. They try kidnapping Potts, then going after his father, etc. They don’t really know how to do anything so the heroes aren’t often in a lot of danger. Unfortunately the two biggest liabilities are Pott’s two kids. They don’t have much of a concept of stranger danger and so they run into a van for some candy. They pretty much write the book on why I tend to find kids annoying in this kind of adventure.

The whole story also feels like it takes place in the really olden days because of how the town and castle look. In fairness though, the film itself is fairly old so that was just how things went. There just isn’t really anything interesting to look at during the adventure. I also think this might be where I can better explain what holds the story back. It’s just too serious.

Now hear me out. This is a really silly comedy film so that may sound like I’m missing something. Where the story takes itself too seriously is in how the whole kingdom plot is still taking itself seriously even when the actual characters aren’t. We’re introduced to a whole new town with its own lore and the kingdom has a lot of backstory. You could maybe pull this off in a fully serious film but it’s much harder to do that when the characters don’t really care. You either needed to make this a fully serious film, or cut out the story aspect and just keep the film about everyone messing around and getting into trouble.

While the opening wasn’t ultra interesting, I do think the premise was better than the adventure we got. We could have stuck to seeing Potts and all of his crazy neighbors running around and causing trouble while Truly tries to expose them all as being crazy. I think you could do some crazy shenanigans with that or….make the car fully sentient. I think that would have been funny. Ultimately the film is fairly innocent and harmless but it’s just not doing anything. This one should probably not get a remake, I don’t think you can really save it.

Overall, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is a film that just doesn’t work. Even after waiting over 10 years and watching it again…it’s just not entertaining. The fantastical approach didn’t work here and the characters were not strong enough to make up for this. I would highly recommend sticking away from this film. It’s not as if it does anything seriously wrong but at the same time you’re just not entertained which is a big blow against any film.

Overall 3/10

Rings Review

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It’s time for another Ring movie and this one is the weakest yet. It’s time for a whole lot of exposition to things that we already know about. There aren’t any real great characters here and the film falls into the usual issue of the whole thing being futile. The main characters have absolutely no chance of claiming victory here and will only continue to be absolutely crushed. The film desperately needs to introduce a villain to fight the demon or something because the humans are not cutting it.

The movie starts with Samara crashing an airplane filled with people because at least two of them had seen the video. Everyone is now doomed and upon their death we cut to the real main characters. Julia is the heroine here and her boyfriend heads off to College but they swear to stay together. They will make the long distance relationship work. Unfortunately he stops returning her calls early on and the last time they spoke he was surrounded by other student who didn’t seem like good influences. Another girl shows up on his computer and starts acting crazy so Julia drives over to find out what’s going on. Unfortunately she is not entering the middle of an ongoing death experiment.

There’s already a lot wrong with this. Holt just comes across as a terrible character. So he willingly joined an experiment about death, knowing full well about the risks. He bought into the explanation that this can help humanity learn some knowledge or something but with the risk it’s not worth it. Basically Professor Gabriel has a lot of students watch the Ring video. Then before the week is up, they get other students to watch it. You can keep on passing the curse along so that nobody dies but the professor waits for a long time to get a tail on this and so people still keep on dying anyway.

Holt’s excuse here is that he left Julia in the dark so that she wouldn’t get involved. It’s a terribly thought out plan. For starters this would make her nervous and want to come over anyway. If she didn’t, then she probably would have just straight up dumped him. In either case, there is no real winning on this one if you use that strategy. Instead he could have just acted like all was normal and at least texted her back once a day. Even letting her know about the experiments and just hiding parts of it would have worked better. So he’s just not very smart.

He’s also not likable for even getting involved with this in the first place. I’d also throw in that if he had roommates with him, he should have warned Julia in the call before she started stripping. Obviously that’s putting her in a really embarrassing situation otherwise. I can’t say that I was a big fan of Skye either because she was quick to watch the video and then was ready to pass it on to someone else. Not a very nice thing to do and it makes her as guilty as the other characters.

How come nobody suggested just making this into a Daisy Chain? Person A gives it to Person B who gives it to Person C who gives it to Person A, etc. You could do that every 3 days and in theory nobody would ever die. It would certainly be a lot safer than their current plan. Perhaps I missed one of the very sketchy rules about copies here but as far as I know this would work. Now admittedly, I still have to stretch some disbelief to understand how Gabriel found out so much about these rules. I guess you could say through a lot of trial and error but it’s always weird to have someone figure out so much about this.

Unfortunately that doesn’t save us from the exposition as we still have Julia and Holt travelling the world to learn more about Samara and her past. This is basically retreading a ton of old ground that we have already went through so I can tell you that this was incredibly dull. We already know that Samara is evil so it’s not like finding out more is going to help. The film introduces another big villain in her father but Samara is not some random victim.

She has been murdering dozens of people for years and has already said that she would never stop. While the father was crazy and evil himself, you knew that he didn’t stand a chance. He was blind so perhaps he figured that would be a natural defense against her curse but what he didn’t realize was that Samara has the ability to restore someone’s eyesight. Checkmate! I know that sounds pretty ridiculous but as long as you keep in mind that she is all powerful then it works out.

So you don’t really have any likable characters here. Gabriel should be treated as another big villain here as well since he was a mass murderer by showing the video to so many people. He may claim it was for science and stuff but that doesn’t give him a free pass. When Samara messes them all over by stopping the video from being copied, you can’t even feel too bad because people were already dying anyway. At least this will stop all of the experiments.

There just comes a point where you wonder what the point of this all is. Samara cannot be defeated or even slowed down at this point. She can take anyone down and even possess others whenever she wants to. You can try to burn the tapes but she will return right away and ignore every attempt to stop her. She seems rather slow so you could in theory run away from her but then she’ll just have you choke from bugs or be in some Final Destination type explosion. There is no escape and there is no way to beat her so everything is absolutely brutal.

I guess I can say that the film is at least not ultra violent. It certainly has its moments but isn’t on the same level as something like Final Destination or Halloween. The film makes up for this with a lot of disturbing imagery and just dark themes in general. This is definitely not what you would call a feel good movie nor does it have much in the way of replay value. There aren’t even a ton of scares to be had. Yeah we get some jump scares and all but the exposition part of the film is reallllly long. Honestly there is no easy way to save this franchise. Giving her a weak point would be a good start but it doesn’t seem like that is in the cards. Maybe at least give us a likable character.

Overall, Rings has more pertinent things to say about long distance relationships than actual lore about Samara. It’s all recycled at this point so you just don’t care. Her father has a good voice for exposition but the character himself is just randomly evil without a whole lot of development. I would definitely recommend staying far away from this film. It doesn’t meaningfully upgrade the Ring series and just takes a few steps back instead. Maybe the next film will be better…one can hope.

Overall 2/10

All Dogs Go To Heaven 2 Review

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It’s time for Charlie and the crew to return to the front line one more time. You’d have expected that Charlie’s journey was over after dying but nothing can keep him down for long. The story works pretty well as a sequel with letting all the familiar faces show up. You’ve got some good action and adventure going on here. I’m not going to say that it’s a great film or anything like that but it will keep you entertained and is a fun film all the way around. I had no serious issues with it.

The movie starts off with showing us that Charlie isn’t very happy over in Heaven. He feels like things are just too peaceful and everyone acts too happy. What he wants is the hustle and bustle of Earth that he is used to. He gets his chance when Carface manages to steal Gabriel’s Horn and escapes back to Earth. There is no way to process the recently deceased now and this is only going to get worse. So reluctantly, Heaven sends Charlie back to the real world along with his friend Itchy to reclaim the horn and save everyone. This should be an easy task….except Charlie may not be eager to complete his mission. Oh yes he bumps into a girl dog named Sasha and her owner David. This may complicate things as well.

Charlie wasn’t exactly subtle about his intentions so it’s hard to blame him too much for not taking the mission all that seriously. I suppose the risk may have been low initially since he went as a ghost and couldn’t interact with anyone. Nobody had guessed that the villain Red would come up with collars that could allow Charlie to act as if he was still alive. Charlie still does the right thing when it counts but does need some prodding. In a sense you can say that he needs to personally care about the situation in order to really help. If Sasha wasn’t around then things could have gotten really rocky here.

Still, Charlie’s an entertaining character. His sheer experience and confidence is always fun to watch. He isn’t afraid of the big bouncers at the beginning of the film at all. (Granted, we find out later that he was invisible and intangible but it’s not like Charlie knew that)

His pal Itchy is stuck playing the straight man in all the jokes. He’s not really able to keep up with Charlie’s crazy antics. Itchy was really happy to stay in Heaven and just have a good time but was ultimately dragged into this whole situation thanks to Charlie. By the end Itchy is able to stick up for himself long enough to finally break away from Charlie and live his own life. The two will always be great friends but sometimes you still gotta go on different paths.

Carface isn’t one of the more interesting villains so fortunately he really plays second fiddle here. Obtaining the horn at the beginning was his biggest moment. After that it is really Red’s show all the way. Red makes for a more entertaining villain. He certainly should have been able to claim victory with the big lead he had but in the end you could say that he got a bit cocky. He does have an actual sinister design though so that was impressive. The character himself may not be super memorable but the design certainly helps quite a bit.

As for the heroine Sasha, I’d say she is a pretty decent character. I wish she could have looked tougher though. The film portrays her as the really tough type of heroine and she talks a good game to Charlie but doesn’t really show up as much when the chips are down. Just a few good scenes of her really taking down opponents would have been really good. Instead she’s mainly here to set up the romance which is not handled particularly well at all. Honestly the first impression with Charlie should have been enough to keep them from being an item at all.

She also has to look after David which limits her since he tends to be an annoying character. He ran away from home to be a magician so he seems rather delusional from the start. He’s young but you would still expect him to be a lot wiser with his choices. He definitely caused the parents a whole lot of worry throughout the movie and doesn’t really recognize that he made a mistake for a very long time. It’s not like his skills are all that bad. I liked the classic hiding the ball trick but he wasn’t even able to realize that Charlie’s trick was a whole lot more impressive. This kid has a long way to go.

The animation was reasonably good. I always like the hand drawn style since it is nice and colorful and tends to age well. The film is definitely very expressive the whole time and it is always moving at a really high speed. The soundtrack is more on the hit or miss side but I did like the villain theme. Those tend to always be a whole lot more impressive than the hero tracks here for some reason. The other songs just come across as a bit more generic or otherwise uninspired.

Now the film definitely has a lot of humor and isn’t taking itself super seriously so you should keep that in mind. That said, the film is pretty direct about this from the start. It still does have a body count just due to the nature of the film and there are some intense visuals. It may not be as intense as the first film but you don’t have to worry about this being a boring movie or anything like that. It still has a good script and Charlie is enough of a renegade to keep the film from being all goody goody or anything like that.

Overall, This sequel does a good job of continuing the story with the characters. It’s fun enough even if the film is not the kind of title that will stand out 10 years from now. It’s hard to imagine actually wanting to go back to Earth once you’re in Heaven but the film does portray Charlie as being really unique in that regard. I suppose there’s gotta be one guy who really wants to go the other way. If you really liked the way that the first film ended then you may not be a huge fan of this one on principle but beyond that it is a good standalone story.

Overall 6/10

Sniper 2 Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s still pretty crazy to think that the Sniper series has gotten so many movies. It just never seemed like the kind of franchise to break out in that way but hey that means more action scenes for me. This may seem surprising but the second film actually beats the first one. This one just jumps right into the action and doesn’t try to be as gritty as the first one. The heroes have a job to do and they just get right on it.

The movie starts out with Thomas being recruited by the army for one last mission as a sniper. He points out that he was let go because he lost some fingers in the first film but the army explains that they have nobody better. (Translation: They found someone expendable to put in a crazy dangerous mission!) So Thomas is sent abroad for the latest assassination and this time his partner is Jake. Jake was also a really good sniper but he ended up murdering one of his teammates and so he was taken to jail. If he clears this mission, he can get a pardon so that’s the incentive but Thomas has to be careful. This still might not be someone that he can really trust. That’s a tough doubt to have when you’re in a life or death situation.

Now what some may not like here is that a good chunk of the film actually has absolutely nothing to do with Thomas doing any sniping itself. They take down the main target really quickly. A lot of this ends up being running away from an enemy sniper. So you’re sort of flipping the script here. Thomas finds out that the government has been using him once again so now he has to help Jake get someone out of enemy territory but it won’t be easy. The enemies have a powerful sniper of their own who is really good at making high pressure shots.

There may be some issues where you have to suspend your disbelief quite a bit but that is normal for a thriller. The biggest instance of this absolutely has to be when the characters hijack a bus and then run through a bunch of cars. They break away to run from the enemy soldiers but you don’t see how they could have possibly escaped. Jake is captured quickly so we see that every soldier stops searching even though they knew that they were chasing two guys. Thomas just hides around the corner and nobody goes on to check. Seems a bit farfetched right?

In general you were always going to have a hard time trying to find a way for the two soldiers to go into a super urban environment, bump someone off and then escape. That’s hard to do and so the film doesn’t always make a convincing case for it. Still, the pacing is always good and this is a very explosive film. Someone is basically always shooting at the main characters here. Ultimately Thomas makes for a pretty good character here as well.

I thought the subplot about him not being able to see well would be a bigger deal but surprisingly that plot doesn’t matter after the opening shot. He is basically able to shoot and fight normally. He isn’t the kind of guy who talks too much and just gets the job done. That works pretty well for the main character and his experience really came in handy here.

As for Jake, well I can’t say that I liked his plan. It’s the kind of plan that usually has a 99% chance of failure. Somehow he was able to pull it off here thanks to plot armor and all but that doesn’t make it a good one. He was still a good ally to have and was much better than the spotter from the fist film. Jake is an actual professional who could hold his own in comparison. During the climax he takes down a ton of enemy combatants on his own.

The most annoying character has to be the guy that they are trying to rescue. He’s one of those classic pacifists who talks about how war is bad and everyone who participates in it is terrible. Yeah war is a bad thing of course but not every combatant is in on it. Thomas is here to try and make the world a better place and Jake is actively trying to save this guy. There are times when violence is necessary for the greater good and the absolute stance on how it’s bad is always a bad thing. Sure enough, this guy comes around by the end but it’s a bit late for that. It’s just such an obvious thing to realize that it shouldn’t be an actual twist or anything.

The main heroine here is Sophia and for most of the film I figured she would be the traitor. She is quite helpful and knows the best places to snipe from and where the villains will be at their weakest. Without her the main sniper duo would have had a much tougher time of it. Sophia ends up being a pretty solid character. Definitely someone who is taking an active role in this conflict as opposed to just sitting around watch. This whole adventure is happening in her country after all.

There isn’t much to Sniper 2 beyond being an action title so how much you enjoy it will depend on how much you like that premise. I don’t think it’s inherently a bad thing to be hyper focused like this. For the most part the film isn’t throwing a ton of twists at you and the formula follows a lot of what happened in the first film. When you see the plot description of the film you can guess a lot of what will happen from there. Not every individual twist but the general flow. The character cast is very small as well. If you’re watching for some good gunfights then you’ve come to the right place.

Overall, Sniper 2 is the definition of a classic action film. I thought the execution was pretty good to that end and had a good time watching the film. You won’t be bored or anything. The film can get violent at times but not nearly as much as the first one. This is more nonchalant about the battles so it doesn’t dwell for too long on any one scene. Naturally if you don’t enjoy films about war time situations and fights then you should skip this one but then there wouldn’t have been much to save it in general. I’m not sure I really see any future Sniper films improving further on the formula here but I’ll still be curious to see how they turn out.

Overall 6/10

Flight 7500 Review

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I think a problem that some slow burn films have is that you need to have a great payoff at the end. I love a good setup phase but if there is no big climax then you did something wrong. This film spends an incredible amount of time setting up the characters and establishing an eerie atmosphere only to have no real plan on how to deal with this. As a result we get a very underwhelming climax that will just leave you shaking your head.

The film starts by showing us a bunch of characters getting onto a plane. They are as unlikable as possible and I’ll get into them in a moment. Still, everyone just has to make it through the flight but unfortunately a guy starts bleeding and dies really quickly. There may be some contagion on board now and weird things begin to happen. Flickering lights, spirits and aberrations, etc. Maybe everyone is just getting a little stressed out? They need to simply survive until the end of the film…but will they?

Weird things happening is a fun setup here so we’re still in business. One of the big problems though is in making everyone so unlikable. I know this is usually a tool to help make sure you don’t mind seeing them all die but it feels like this tends to backfire most of the time. There is just usually not a good reason to do this and it does play a part in the film’s failure. Better characters could have really made a difference here.

First you’ve got Jake who doesn’t believe in the capitalist system and wants to steal as many things as possible. He will make money off the grid and live in whatever way he sees fit. No rules can stop him. This guy just looks out for himself and you can probably guess that he will be one of the first ones to go. He’s quite brazen about breaking protocol and there is just nothing good about him.

Then you have Lance who is acting strange the whole time and brings a big briefcase with him. You could blame a lot of the problems on this guy to be honest. He’s not as mean as some of the other characters but does give off a tough vibe from the start. Lance is clearly not here to talk to the other characters at all. Then there is Jacinta and at first it seems like the only bad thing about her is that she’s goth which is a little funny to be honest. Well, after that she does seem to be a little too into death like trying to feel some blood which will just spread the virus if that’s going around. Her speech to Rick also felt a little bit like she was starting to flirt with how their actions don’t matter or how good they were in life.

Definitely a terrible mindset to have. Of course I can’t give Rick any real points either. He just got married and yet he can’t help but stare at Jacinta the whole time? You have to absolutely do better than that. It doesn’t matter how pretty she may be or what her fashion sense is, he literally just got married. Come on now. Rick may not be as bad as some of the other characters but that was not a good look for him.

Meanwhile his wife Liz is constantly complaining about everyone. She panics a whole lot and just finds a way to find faults with everyone. She is never happy and is determined to make this flight a very long one for everyone. You wonder how she and Rick even got together in the first place based on their scenes. He must have really been desperate or she just changed a whole lot.

The staff isn’t free of fault either. One of the main hostesses is Laura and she is actively having an affair with the pilot Pete even though he is married. He has told her that he will get a divorce so they can be together forever and she actually bought this. Of course it doesn’t ultimately matter if that is true or not. He’s still married at the moment so both characters look terrible here.

Then you have Suzy who may by default be the most reasonable character here but even she is a bit iffy. She basically admits that she is only with her current boyfriend because he’s a safe bet. She actually still likes her ex a lot more and so the poor guy doesn’t even know this. That’s just tragic when you really think about it. Suzy probably has the roughest end though so you feel bad for her. When the monster goes after her, absolutely nobody makes a move to help her. They just run away which is insane. You can see how this character cast is completely unlikable right? There are other characters as well but you get the idea of it. The plane tends to feel pretty empty considering how many people are around as well and while this is for the twist later on, it is incredibly forced that nobody comments on this.

So what about the monster? Well, we never really get to see it. There are flashes and you might see an arm but for the most part even by the end you don’t really get a full shot. You’re waiting for things to start happening after all the ominous moments but there is absolutely no payoff. The film has a big twist at the end but it’s just so lame. It’s one of those twists that just seems to exist but there is no reason for it.

It’s a boring ending and I wanted something more direct. The film leads us on with a Shinigami doll so you’re expecting an actual figure for them to fight but that’s not the case. It feels like a Shyamalan and certainly not one of the good ones. The film loses all momentum here and also becomes another one of those titles where everything was pointless. Thanks to the twist, nothing ever really mattered. Every action the characters took was futile and that’s always going to be a sore spot for me. You need to write these things in a way where the actions matter or else the viewing won’t be satisfying, let alone a rewatch.

Overall, I would say this is a movie you will want to skip out on. It’s just not a good title. The film really ends on a whimper and almost forgets that it is supposed to be a horror film by the end. You do get some unnerving visuals although I would say they tend to just be more on the gross side like the one guy who was bleeding a lot. We have a jump scare early on and then the film starts to abandon that as well. It just feels like there was no big plan here so in the end everything just fell apart. It’s a shame because a plane is a great place for a horror moment considering that there is no way out. Better luck next time I suppose.

Overall 4/10

War Hunt Review

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This is one of those films that really gets into the nitty gritty of how war can really change a person. The soldiers involved in this war are really brought to the brink with one of them completely cracking. Although the film leaves the door open on if he was already broken before the term even started or if the service just widened the gap here.

The film takes place near the end of the Korean war. They are all hoping for peace but in the meantime the US army is tasked with making sure that they don’t lose any ground and that Korea really feels their muscle. Each day without a peace treaty is supposed to feel painful. The main character here is Loomis and he has been assigned to a new squad. Everything seems normal at first, except for on guy named Endore. He routinely goes outside at night on solo missions and seems a little off. Loomis quickly finds out that he is going around murdering enemy soldiers…but what can he do about this?

Now you may be wondering what the issue is. Well, there’s a big difference between taking down enemy soldiers mid combat vs seeking them out at night for private executions. Especially with the war winding down. Endore even runs around their dead bodies for some kind of weird ritual and the whole thing seems crazy. Unfortunately the only advice Loomis gets is to stay away from Endore. Yeah…that’s not very helpful now is it? It’s not like Loomis is a captain after all so he doesn’t have much power.

Adding onto the previous issues is the fact that he ends up twisting his foot and is out of action for a bit. Loomis completely froze up during his first fire fight and had to be saved by Endore. Things really couldn’t get much worse for the lead. Meanwhile there is a kid named Charlie who shows up by the camp. Loomis tries to be friends with him but Endore gets in the way as he doesn’t want Charlie to be having any fun. He seems to be training him as a future soldier of war.

It’s all a rather grim state of affairs. Even when the war is just about over, you still have more characters dying. It’s a mix of letting their guards down and just the tough luck of war. Until things are actually resolved, there is always going to be some danger. The captain did his best to stress this but it still didn’t result in a perfect outcome. You definitely can’t say that the film was trying to glamorize the war at all.

This movie is fairly quick so it all goes by rather quickly. After all there is only one-two main fights here and most of it is about the characters just trying to survive. At one point the Koreans launch a fairly big offensive where they just start bombing everything. They unleash massive amounts of firepower while Loomis and the other soldiers have to hunker down. It’s a tough mental battle as well because you don’t know when the enemies will run out of ammo and stop firing.

I think this probably would have been enough story to fill in the plot but I suppose adding in the crazy soldier helped to add more explosive drama in. It’s really hard to deal with a villain on your side during war time. There just isn’t any time to worry about that. The captain did good in taking decisive action when he had to. Loomis was yelling at him to stop and all but that was a moment of kill or be killed. I don’t believe there was any time to waver there even if it did result in another death. It was regrettable but his hand was forced at that point.

It just would have been nice if they could have saved the kid as well. I don’t think the orphanage life would have been great but Loomis was right that it would still be worlds better than trying to survive in the middle of nowhere on a war torn path. At least the kid would have had a chance and could have learned how to be a kid after that was stolen away from him. Letting Charlie remain in the wilderness definitely added onto the tragedy of the story. Made this into a full on sad ending rather than being ambiguous.

I was surprised that Loomis didn’t really have a big final scene though. After he froze during the first battle, I kind of thought that he would be the one to land the final shot. Show that he was now ready for what war entailed and that could be the mixed message about how war changes everyone in some way. Instead he was mostly helpless at the end anyway. I know it was a tough moment so I’m not trying to blame him too much but he really never got to step up.

Overall, I would definitely recommend War Hunt. It’s a pretty good film. It’s intense without being exploitive or anything like that. You can understand the grim tone and what has happened to the characters without the movie having to go all out in spoon feeding the answers to you. I would also say that the short length of the movie helps prevent it from dragging on. I don’t think you would have benefitted much from an extra 30 minutes as it would have really just been more detailed moments for the plots you already had at the ready.

Overall 6/10