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The Manchurian Candidate Review

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Considering a certain event in the new Captain America series and the general plot of the Civil War film, it’s a good time to look at this film. Unfortunately, it was quite terrible so don’t go in expecting me to tell you how great it all was. It’s a very sad film where the characters continue to make mistake after mistake. The brainwashing is advanced enough that it completely clobbers a whole group of people and America doesn’t realize how many undercover fighters are around. Can the country stop these guys before it is too late…or is it already too late!?

Marco was with a platoon behind enemy lines. Unfortunately, his group was captured and brainwashed by the Soviets and forced to murder each other. One member of their group was turned into a sleeper agent (Raymond) while the others were allowed to return to the country. Why weren’t they all turned into sleeper agents? Who knows! Anyway, Marco starts having odd dreams and realizes that something is not right. He starts to uncover the truth behind Raymond, but what can he do about it. Few believe him and even fewer have enough power to do anything about this. Marco’s going to have to go with his gut instincts here, but it may not be enough.

Typically, you’d think that the film would try to make Raymond likable so we’d actually be sympathetic to his plight right? Well, this film decides to take the opposite approach and makes him a guy who is not likable in the slightest. This is why Marco suspects that something is up since the brainwashing forces every member of his platoon to like the guy. Even once Marco finds out that playing cards are the key to stopping Raymond, he decides to leave the agent alone for one more night with his fiance. Big mistake.

As a result of Marco’s blunder, Raymond destroys her along with her father and claims many more innocent victims along the way. He even gets one last murder as the film ends because nobody was fast enough to stop him. One subplot that is also grating from the start is that he and his mother don’t get along at all. This leads to a series of insults and sob stories as we find out that she is the one controlling him. Raymond can only watch as she takes out the playing cards and brainwashes him once again. No worries, he is partially cured by the end so he remembers enough to take her down, but naturally he doesn’t take any prisoners.

Not that this film needed any more subplots to destroy the momentum, but after a “Miller Time” moment (Downing a lot of beers) Raymond remembers an event from the past. He met a girl and instantly they fell in love, but his mother warned him to get away from her and he made sure to listen. The flashback felt like it just kept on going for ages and ages. It barely even mattered in the end and just added two more individuals for Raymond to murder in the end. Civil War definitely handled the concept better, but I suppose that this goes without saying. Even the fight scene between Marco and the guy who worked for Raymond wasn’t any fun, but I suppose that I should be grateful to have a fight scene at all.

The bottom line is that this film just wasn’t any fun in the end. My films need to at least have some entertaining aspect to them, but there was none of that to be found here. I felt bad for everyone that Raymond destroyed, but not quite as much for him. The police should have had the election guarded a lot better, especially considering that Marco knew that Raymond might try something. Letting him go on his own was definitely not their best strategy. Of course, they did foil the Soviet plan, but apparently there are many more of them hiding in the country already. The film doesn’t end with a whole lot of hope for the Americans, but at least we know that they won in the end. I tried to think of a silver lining here, but I really can’t. This is the kind of film that will have you staring at the clock on the wall for its entire duration. There are no positives or saving graces here. I suppose you could at least make the argument that it could have been worse though.

Overall, The Manchurian Candidate is another critically acclaimed film that ends up falling completely flat. None of the characters are likable and most of them are only introduced so they can be destroyed later on. The brainwashing was way too complete and unbreakable. Especially since it has already been years that have passed, I find it hard to believe that it would be so effective. Just looking at a deck of cards is basically enough to stop Raymond. The whole thing was just too easy for the Soviets from start to finish. I don’t really blame the government for not believing Marco since this is all a rather unbelievable story, but it didn’t make his job any easier. I definitely do not recommend this film so watch it at your own peril.

Overall 0/10

You’re the Greatest Charlie Brown Review

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Looks like it’s time for the next Charlie Brown special. I’m slowly building up my resume as far as these are concerned. One day, I will have seen them all! This one focuses on the school’s Olympic meet so it makes sense that this was one of the better ones. I’m always up for some sports and the special actually doesn’t skip any of them which was nice. I was expecting some to be glossed over for the sake of time, but they all got their props. Snoopy doesn’t look as dominant as he should have though.

Charlie Brown’s school is neck and neck with a rival group, but none of their members want to enter the Decathalon. Luckily, Charlie Brown shows up and asks them if he can enter any of the events. The kids quickly give him that one since it is the toughest of the bunch. Charlie Brown undergoes a tough training program so that he can compete with the best of them. Just in case, Charlie Brown’s school enters Marcie as well and even Snoopy gets in on the action. Their only opposition is a bully that the other team sent in to even the score. Still, Charlie has trained for this so he should have the edge right?

Charlie actually proves that he can hold his own and actually would have won the event if not for his severe overconfidence. Charlie seemed to think that none of the other contestants had the skills to defeat him so he decided to run the last race with his eyes closed. That was his big mistake as he went charging into the forest and nearly cost his school the win. Luckily Marcie still claimed victory for the school, but Charlie really let everyone down. Typically he tried his best and things just didn’t work out, but this time it was directly his fault. It was rather out of character for Charlie, but I suppose he’ll get em next year. He’s still a solid character and at least he went through with the training.

As for the supporting characters, only Patty and Marcie really got roles this time. Lucy would appear every once in a while to insult Charlie a little, but that was it for her role. Marcie kept subtly insulting Charlie by complimenting him after he would fail a task. She was definitely a bad character in this one and also had the most predictable ending of the group. I’ve never really cared for Marcie, but this was probably her worst appearance. It was clear from the start that she would be the one to win. Patty wasn’t bad and served her role as group leader, but that’s really it for her this time.

The animation has stayed consistent with the other Charlie Browns specials. It is really retro and you can tell that the series came out a very long time ago, but it still looks fairly good to this day. It certainly ages well. There isn’t much of a soundtrack, but I can’t say that I was expecting one. At this point in time, films never really had much of a soundtrack. At the very least it was rare to find anything besides the usual themes.

Overall, You’re The Greatest Charlie Brown is a good special. As I mentioned earlier, I do think that Snoopy was a little under powered this time. I would have expected him to have easily crushed all of the other contestants. I was glad to hear that he took the bully down in the end, but he should have won the whole tournament. This is Snoopy that we are talking about after all, he is virtually invincible. Marcie was also annoying for the most part. Snoopy, Lucy, and Patty were solid though. If you like the other Charlie Brown specials than you should like this one. There is more action than usual due to the events and as a result this special doesn’t reuse most of the normal gags. With the new scenery this means that it is telling more of a fresh story than usual. In the end, this Charlie Brown special is a pleasant way to spend a half hour or so.

Overall 7/10

The Little Shop of Horrors Review

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Remember the Bucket of Blood? Well this film’s very similar since it is made from the same guy with just about all of the same actors and a verrrrry similar plot. It is a little better since there is no animal violence but it’s still a pretty bad film. At least this way you can say that the film lived up to its name though right? There were definitely a lot of horrors to be found here to say the least. Who knows, maybe the remake is better…maybe. Well, let’s jump on in!

Seymour is a demented murderer who never really had the courage to do anything too drastic. That changes when he grows a man eating plant and ends up feeding it a body to cover up his murder. Seymour then starts going around murdering people until he finally decides to stop. It’s too late though since the plant has leveled up and now it knows how to mind control people. Seymour’s certainly in a sticky situation now, but at least he is getting rich!

There are two detectives looking into the murders, but it is tough going since the movie takes place in a rough neighborhood where people die just about every other second. Still, they’re doing their best. One guy even lost his son, but just reminded everyone that those are the brakes when you live in the area. Everyone solemnly agrees. The shop owner knows that Seymour is destroying people, but he doesn’t want to say anything because of all the money that he is earning. See the similarities between the two films yet?

What helps Seymour realize that destroying people is wrong is getting friend zoned by the main heroine yet again. Unfortunately it is just too late at that point and will power was never Seymour’s strong suit. Once the jig is up we get a very similar chase scene to the last film and Seymour decides to destroy himself, but this time he’ll also take the plant with him. Once again the ending tries to have some humor as Seymour gets one last line of vengeance. Yeah…it’s an interesting line at the very least.

One advantage that this film has over the Bucket of Blood is the fact that the plant makes for a decently cool antagonist here. I like the fact that he’s always yelling for more food. It makes him a bit more realistic and likable even if he is very unreasonable. Having basic telepathy was also very impressive. The heroes should have tried a little harder to stop him, but I suppose that they realized how outgunned they were. After all, the plant was able to take down a robber at one point without any real effort. The guy even had a gun, but I guess he didn’t suspect that the plant could be alive. Who would right?

The best character in the film is easily the guy who likes to eat flowers. He comes out of nowhere and is another really insane character to add to the rest of the cast. The film really wanted to make everyone as insane as possible, but this guy’s gimmick actually worked really well. Whenever he’d eat a flower you couldn’t help but grin at how crazy the whole thing was. I also liked the way that he confidently walked into the store and basically acted like he owned the place. He didn’t even buy the flowers he just went in and started eating them. Now that’s what I call an unexpected action!

Meanwhile, we also had a crazy dentist guy who is psychotic and likes to make people feel pain as he drills through their mouth. No worries, Seymour destroyed him, but then he meets a pain addict and decides to pretend that he is the dentist and messes with the guy for a while. It’s a very odd scene that comes out of nowhere and it reminds you that there are no sane people in this town. No wonder everyone ends up dying every day over in that place. It must be due to only having one flower shop in the whole town. Hoe can anyone enjoy the nice fragrances that way?

Parts of the film can sound humorous as a result of how crazy this whole situation is, but in the end it tends to be more wince worthy than anything else. The film’s fairly short, but at the same time it feels like you’ve already seen it all. All of the characters are really unlikable and annoying aside from the flower eater. I suppose that Seymour’s boss isn’t all that boss though. He’s the main comic relief of the film and does a pretty good job in the role. He may be corrupt, but he gets the most one liners in the film. He consistently makes sure to hint that Seymour may not be what he seems even if nobody ever picks up on his hints. At least halfheartedly trying to Seymour is better than nothing I suppose. Seymour’s definitely lucky that he ended up being in this town with the plant. With the death count being so high, it makes it a lot easier to raise the plant in secret.

I didn’t really talk about the negatives all that much since I basically covered them in the Bucket film, but this is a separate review so I should go into it at least a little. The main problem here is naturally Seymour. He’s a terrible main character and is someone that you cannot root for. The movie tries to present him as someone who is very reluctantly murdering everyone, but I can’t buy into that. He knows what he is doing the whole time and could choose not to do so. He’s simply trying to justify the whole thing to himself and isn’t doing a great job of it. It can be pretty sad to see everyone getting murdered by the plant as well with all of the sad slurping sounds. Even a poor drunk guy isn’t spared as he steps in front of train tracks and Seymour was in the area. The problem with this film is that it just isn’t all that fun half the time and the fact that none of the main characters are likable just ends up hurting it a lot. I do appreciate the friend zone card though.

Overall, The Little Shop of Horrors is certainly an improvement over the Bucket of Blood, but I wouldn’t say that it’s a huge one. It is still a bad film, but at least the humor was a little better in this film. It is interesting how all of the characters were so reused here though. This film almost feels like an AU or remake of Bucket of Blood, but just with a slightly different plot. Regardless at least we got a talking plant who happens to be evil. I’m sure that a lot of people weren’t expecting that plot to make it to the big screen. If that’s your cup of tea and you want a lot of insane characters then go for it. If you want a cooler film, then go watch Batman V Superman. Now that one brings the hype!

Overall 3/10

A Bucket of Blood Review

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It’s time to take a look at one of the worst films that I have ever seen. It ranks up there with Sucker Punch and Amityville Horror. This film is so horrendously bad that you will be staring at your watch through most of it and the film feels like it is 3 hours. There’s not a single redeemable part of the film and it just keeps going from bad to worse. Of course, the title was a fairly obvious indicator that this film was going to be terrible, but I don’t think anyone suspected just how terrible it would be.

The main character is named Walter and he’s a psychotic mass murderer who works as a waiter for a small restaurant. One day he sees a cat and realizes that he can finally realize his ambitions and destroys it, turning it into a statue. That’s his favorite hobby after all and slowly but surely he starts to murder other people and turns them all into statues. Nobody can tell that there is a human body of rotting flesh inside of the clay though so their noses must all be stuffed from the super large amounts of smoke inside of the cafe. The shop owner knows that Walter is going around murdering everyone, but he also knows that each murder increases his profits tremendously so he turns the other way. Can he afford to do that forever or will he have to make a move?

The police also send an agent into the restaurant to stop the ongoing drug problem there. Everyone is always high in this establishment so it is tricky to find out who is actually dealing the goods. Especially when everyone has a hand in it. The detective decides that it’s just too much trouble and decides to attack Walter. Walter destroys him of course since police training is no match for a very scrawny fellow with a frying pan. The cops never find out what happened to the detective and barely seem to care as they are written out of the film completely.

Walter has a lot of friends to stick up for him as well. The shop owner’s daughter loves the paintings and encourages Walter to get more by any means necessary. There are a few drunk guys who are always yelling nonsense about acorns and reality who love Walter’s paintings as well. They think that he is a visionary and while they don’t like money, they like what you can buy with money. More beers for everyone! If only they knew the truth about Walter! Well, in the climax we get a chase scene as Walter tries to destroy the main heroine when she rejects him and places the friend zone card. Walter outruns everyone for quite a while and proves that he’s used to fleeing the scene. Eventually he destroys himself since the stress was too much for him. The drunk guy even makes a pun about this and the film ends on that chipper note.

“Is It Over!” I found myself thinking as I fled the scene as well. This film was just so preposterously bad that it was a thrill so see it all over. The film tries to be funny by having as many extreme and unrealistic characters as possible, but the end result is actually that everyone simply comes off as being unlikable instead. Also, I’ll never be fine with the idea of a mass murderer being the main character. The whole point of a main character is that he or she should be a likable protagonist. Someone that you can root for. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the main character has to be a hero, but if he is a villain like in this case, then it better be something comically mild like theft or it’s about the villain becoming a hero. A full fledged villain with no morals as the main character? That’s really not going to bode well for the film in the long run.

The film may even be more cringe worthy than Sucker Punch if you ask me although it’s tough. Sucker Punch is more depressing, but it also doesn’t have any animal violence and it has action scenes. A Bucket of Blood is just tough to watch since it’s so terrible and wince worthy, but it’s not nearly as repulsive as Sucker Punch. It’s definitely a tough fight and at least I can guarantee that I’ll never see this film again. I’d highly recommend taking a pass on it if I were you readers as well.

Overall, A Bucket of Blood is even worse than the title would suggest. All of the characters are nonsensical, unlikable, and corrupt characters. There is nobody to root for, there is animal violence, and the pacing is horrible. There is no soundtrack and the film’s effects are terrible as well. If you want to watch an old film with a lot of class, check out Superman vs The Mole Man. It fixes just about all of the problems that I had with this film and then some. It’s the kind of film where you’ll walk away with a grin instead of a groan.

Overall 0/10

The Forest Review

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Looks like it is time for another horror film. They have a fairly bad track record and I’d say that it may actually be even worse than the romance film’s rep. That being said, I’ve seen many more horror movies than romance titles so it’s not really a fair fight. This one came out in in 2016 so it’s actually fairly modern. It’s not a good film regardless, but at the very least I can say that the first half of the film is actually better than around 90% of the horror films that I’ve seen. It goes downhill from there though. I don’t really bother with the spoilers moniker unless the film is new, but this one is 2016 so I’ll say it now…there are spoilers ahead!

Sara was trying to enjoy an ordinary day when her twin sense started tingling. She finds out that her twin sister has vanished inside of the Suicide Forest. Her husband tells her not to be dramatic, but she knows that her sister is currently still alive since her twin sense lets her know if she is alive or not. Sara must hurry since nobody can survive in the forest for long. After all, there are many demons lurking among the trees and they will pounce on anyone with a little sadness in their hearts. Sara knows the stakes so she heads to Japan and enters the forest…but not before getting a drink! She enjoys a good beer and meets a guy named Aiden. He claims to be a reporter and doesn’t mind having her tag along as he goes through the forest the next day. The catch is that he will be recording what she says as they go through. It’s a price that Sara is willing to pay. (For a little while) With the backup at the ready, Sara steps into the forest.

The film is short, but still takes its time getting to the ghosts and jump scares. The first 40 minutes or more is just Sara walking around Japan and learning about the forest from supporting characters. She goes to sketchy morgues and talks to suspicious teenagers along the way. It may not be the most engaging group of scenes, but there are none of the usual negatives from a horror movie like animal violence or violent sob stories involving the main character or a house. Unfortunately, things start to go seriously downhill once Sara finally gets into the forest. Sure enough, all of the usual horror tropes quickly start to appear.

For starters, the simple car crash quickly turns into a domestic accident. There’s no shock value here since this twist has been used to death and just reminds you that this film has no originality in the slightest. I wish that the car crash could have stuck. Then Sara also begins to let the demons overwhelm her towards the middle of the film and ends up murdering an innocent person and herself as well. When Sara was trying to cut someone’s hand off of her, she actually ended up cutting her arm instead. Either her eyes were not working properly or the spirits subtlely moved reality around with an illusion to make her arm look farther away than it actually was. It’s still a stretch of the imagination though and I’m not sure that I buy it. The spirits were also nice and overpowered since they could create illusions on the phone as well which made things tricky.

I don’t think Sara necessarily made the wrong choice all of the time, but she definitely did in the first place. If you meet someone in a bar who immediately tries to hit on you…you probably shouldn’t take this sketchy character to the middle of a dark forest to be alone for a full night. I definitely wouldn’t trust anyone like that and then she starts to doubt him a whole lot. That’s fine, but then try to run til you see a path and get out of the forest. Sara isn’t concentrating all that well and ends up falling in a ditch. Good thing that the villains in this film are so slow right?

As per horror film rules, there is a quick twist towards the end. It makes sense and you’ll feel bad for the nice supporting character, but he probably should have ran in the car with the police when he had the chance. I don’t think he’ll be able to win against a full fledged demon so it’s game over for him. Seriously, it wouldn’t be a horror film without an end twist and I’d say that it is practically a requirement at this point. There are a few other “jump” scares during the film like an old man laughing through a mirror and an old lady who tries to choke Sara. I don’t see anyone jumping during these moments unless you’re just sensitive to noise so the sound automatically makes you move a bit.

Still, many of the dicey situations could have been avoided in the film if Sara had any common sense. When she was camping in the middle of the night, she was supposed to not move from that spot. Instead she runs into the forest where the demons start to feed her their misinformation. Yes, keep on believing the sketchy characters who show up out of nowhere and are constantly grinning. They can’t possibly be lying to your face right? Even demons have standards of what they can and can’t do….no, that’s probably just a rumor. Also, it doesn’t help that Sara can’t really fight for beans so she can talk tough to Alain, but then what? Alain got a rough situation for this film, but that’s probably why you shouldn’t get too close to someone in a bar when both of you are super drunk. Sara letting herself get drunk on the very first day of investigating probably isn’t a very good idea either.

One plot angle that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense is the fact that Jess is actually still alive after a few days. Unless she has absolutely no sadness in her and just went into the forest for the lolz, then the demons should have grabbed her by now. Being absolutely alone…for days in a forest where everyone wants to eat you is a bit of a stretch. You can say that the demons kept her alive so Sara could show up, but then why didn’t they quickly finish her off at that point? They had plenty of time to take them all down so that no survivors would make it through. They are slow though since they couldn’t catch someone who had a broken arm and a badly injured leg so maybe they were still talking along the path.

Overall, The Forest isn’t a great horror movie and it’s not a good one either. I’d call it a sub par film in the end. From the score you can still see that it beats a whole lot of other horror films, but that’s what happens when you can successfully stay away from animal violence and for the most part the film wasn’t even all that grotesque. The demons purposefully look ugly of course, but they’re not over the top like usual. The domestic plot twist was horrid, but at least its screen time was fairly small. If you like horror films then you probably won’t like this film and if you don’t like horror films then you won’t like it either so it will be very hard for this title to appeal to any crowd. Maybe The Woods, or The Mountains can have a better time of it someday.

Overall 4/10

Captain America: Civil War Review

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The Captain America trilogy ends on a high note as Civil War escalates the series to another level. I was certainly not expecting the film to take down either one of the two Avenger titles, but it manages to jump over Age of Ultron, making it the best Marvel film right behind The Avengers. While it does not manage to quite capture the level of intensity and depth that Batman V Superman showed, Civil War is easily one of the greatest live action films of all time and a title that I recommend to everyone. Whether you are a comic book fan or not, there is plenty to enjoy here. So much so that it will be difficult to capture all of my thoughts in this review, but I shall do my best so prepare for a long one. On that note, let’s get to work!

The film starts off with a fight against some terrorists led by Crossbones. Captain America and his team of Avengers manage to defeat this group, but in the process a building full of innocent civilians is destroyed by the last ditch effort of Crossbones. Scarlet Witch attempted to keep the blast contained, but couldn’t do so long enough which leads to the media wondering if the Avengers have been given too much power. They want the Avengers to become a public group that works under the United Nations. Captain America is opposed to this because the Avengers will lose their right to act without permission. Furthermore, when his old pal Bucky is framed for being the cause of another large explosion which takes the life of Wakanda’s king, Captain America is forced to go against the law to protect him.

Meanwhile, Tony Stark meets up with a lady who blames the death of her son on the Avengers. The events in Age of Ultron had a lot of fatalities during the final fight, but hearing a personal story about one hits Stark a lot more personally than any statistic would. This is what gets Tony to believe that working under the United Nations as a controlled entity is the best course of action. He doesn’t see eye to eye with Captain America and as Steve (Captain America’s alter ego for my non comic book readers) is forced to go against the government, Tony has to fight him. Neither one will back down as they are both confident that they are making the right choice here.

In the background, we have some other plots going on as well. Zemo is stirring up a lot of trouble in the background as he learns the hypnotic words to control Winter Soldier (AKA, Bucky) and keeps widening the rift between the Avengers. Meanwhile, Scarlet Witch feels personally responsible for the lives lost at the beginning of the film and is having a hard time coping with what happened. Being placed under house arrest certainly doesn’t help with this either. Finally, we have the Black Panther, who is working to avenge his father. He blames his father’s death on the Winter Soldier due to evidence showing that he was responsible for the situation. The Panther won’t stop until he is dead so Captain America will have to try extra hard to save him.

All right…where to start with this review. Let’s go through the negatives first since there really aren’t many of them as you may expect considering the positive tone of the film. It’s a 9 star title so the positives easily outweigh the negatives. One weak point in the film is…you guessed it, the extremely unnecessary romance with Sharon Carter and Captain America. You can’t even call it a romance if we’re being honest folks. They just randomly kiss as they say goodbye to each other and that’s the end of that plot. As I’ve mentioned in the past, you simply can’t develop a proper romance in the span of 30 minutes and especially when these two characters are only on screen together for maybe 15-20 minutes tops. If you want a romance done right, it’s got to be gradual like Tsubasa. It’s a super minor thing that certainly doesn’t hurt the film, but this scene really comes out of left field.

There’s a little language in the film. It’s not super excessive or anything, but worth making a slight note. It was certainly out of character for Spider-Man of all people to say the s word. I remember the good ole days of him being a nice kid in the comics who wouldn’t even dream of swearing. His portrayal is great overall though, but he is the result of several power inconsistencies…I’ll get to that in his section though. Is that it for the negatives? If we’re being a little picky I’d say that the soundtrack was pretty forgettable and underwhelming, but I typically don’t expect live action films to really sound that good. Hannah and Man of Steel are really the exceptions to the rule along witih a handful of other titles. Now let’s get to the positives!

For starters, the fight scenes are great like you would expect. In a day and age where hand to hand fight scenes can be a little dicey at times (Instantly going for the eyes) the fights here are handled well. Crossbones vs Captain America was a great way to start off the film and any fight with the Black Panther was exceptional as well. Naturally, this only gets better when you add in the super powers from the meta human fights. The battle between both teams at the airport is definitely the highlight of the film and easily the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s best fight yet! Even before the fight starts, one of the best moments in the film was when Iron Man’s allies slowly started popping up and Captain America was outnumbered by around 5-1. You know that Cap isn’t on his own, but even then it’s just such an imposing scene. Cap would have had no shot against that group and Iron Man’s plan was quite sound. The thing is, great minds think alike and Cap has enough friends to ensure that he’s never alone against such an army.

After thinking on it a lot, I have to say that my favorite character was Black Panther. Yes, Iron Man, Captain America, and Spider-Man lost out this time. The film really handled Black Panther perfectly. He comes across as very reasonable and it certainly makes sense that he would want to avenge his father. Whenever the Avengers would get in his way, Black Panther would be forced to fight them, but he never hesitated. He stood firm in his mission and never wavered while at the same time, he kept a cool head. He certainly didn’t lose his cool as much as Cap or Iron Man and in the end he was the first one to really get away from all of the violence and make the hero call. (Sparing a villain’s life) During the final fight, you can’t say the same for Iron Man. Physically, Black Panther was able to hold his own against Winter Soldier and Captain America. In fact, I’d say that he had the edge over Bucky, but I doubt he would have defeated Captain America. The design for his suit was also really good.
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Next we have the other big guest star of the film Spider-Man! So….I was mixed on his portrayal. As Spider-Man he was great. He had a lot of witty banter during the fight which has always been his trademark and his webbing was also very strong as it was always meant to be. In today’s cartoons and comics everyone breaks through it with ease, but in the old comics even the Hulk couldn’t snap them right away. As for the part of his portrayal that I was iffy about….well, I don’t think the actor works very well as Peter Parker. He’s too young and I think that the director made him talk with a higher pitched voice than usual to make him sound even younger. When he first appeared, it almost felt like a parody. His intro was the kind of moment where I could picture everyone laughing out loud. It just felt off. It also helps that the new Aunt May looks nothing like Aunt May and is still one of the more mind boggling changes. At least she encouraged Peter to fight back against the bullies though so I like her up beat attitude here. I like to think that she already knows about him being Spider-Man by the way. I’m calling it right now, she’ll reveal that in the upcoming Spider-Man film.

Aside from Peter Parker seeming a bit off, I think Spider Man’s power level was very inconsistent. Let’s get real here folks, The Avengers are lightweights without Thor and Hulk around. Spider-Man’s worth more than the whole group put together. Maybe Vision could put up a decent fight, but Scarlet Witch, Black Widow, Winter Soldier, Black Panther, and Captain America would get speedblitzed. Iron Man and War Machine would be overwhelmed as their suits are ripped apart and Hawkeye wouldn’t land a single shot. Spider-Man’s gone toe to toe with Superman in the past and he’s had some very intense fights with Thor back in the day. To have him lose here is a cheaper cop-out than buying a slice at 7-11 instead of Europa because you didn’t feel like walking the extra block.

He’d look good in some moments and then he’d be treated like a joke the next. Here’s an example, at the airport fight, he is able to catch and repel Winter Soldier’s punch with no effort and even starts to twist it off until he is interrupted. Captain America was previously unable to stop Winter Soldier’s blow with both hands and he was flung through an elevator. So…Spider-Man’s stronger than Cap right? Well, you’d be wrong because Captain America completely humiliates him when they fight and overpowers him twice physically during the battle. That makes absolutely no sense and I was tempted to yell something from the audience like “Boooo” “Nerf alert!!” or something along those lines. I restrained myself though for the good of the movie experience.

Another iffy moment is the fact that he seemed to completely not have a spider sense here. I wouldn’t blame Marvel if they decided to get rid of it though because the ability is way too good. Still, without a mention of removing it, I will have to label it as a plot hole. There’s no way Ant Man can sneak up on Spider-Man because Spider Sense prevents such an event from ever happening. It is literally impossible to sneak up on Spider-Man without some kind of power to get past his ability or if you’re Venom and have compromised the ability by actually being Spider-Man for a bit. Every time Spider-Man got hit by a sneak attack I would wince a little on the inside. Still, aside from being treated as a bit of a joke during some parts of the fight, it was a satisfying portrayal overall. It’s great to finally see Spider-Man alongside the Avengers. This is something that fans have wanted to see for many years and now I’m eagerly awaiting the big dream team of Iron Man, Spider-Man, and Cyclops against Thanos. Make is happen Marvel!

Let’s talk about the Avengers now. I’ve never really cared for Vision in any form of media so we’ll start with him. He’s somehow managed to become even more annoying than he was in Age of Ultron. He pretends to be Scarlet Witch’s friend until we find out that he’s under orders to keep her confined. If he was a true friend he probably would have mentioned something like that. He also attempts a long-shot at blasting someone from a super far distance which backfires quickly. He’s one of the strongest Avengers, but seems to forget that most of the time and actually doesn’t contribute almost at all during the airport fight. Powerful or not, Vision is simply not likable.

His fellow Age of Ultron member was solid though. Scarlet Witch gets a lot of screen time in this film so she can finally develop more of a personality. Her abilities are certainly very potent and as she grows more confident, we can expect more out of her. One good scene in particular is when she materializes an energy shield behind her while she gets the poison gas out of a building. Being able to multi task like that is critical in a fight since she’ll need to have a shield up at all times as her defense is rather low. By the end of the film she has learned to be more independent and sure of herself. She has a promising future in this cinematic universe.

I’ve never been a big fan of Black Widow although her character can vary quite a bit throughout the Marvel franchise. The movies have been one of her worst portrayals in my opinion while she tends to look a lot better in the Avengers Assemble cartoon and the Punisher animated film. She was fairly reasonable here though and while she seems to have fallen to the very bottom of the hero totem pole (I’d say that this film confirms that Hawkeye can defeat her in a fight) she is still a good hand to hand fighter.

Falcon’s role in this film is small even though he appears quite a lot. He’s the guy that Captain America can always count on, but the main problem is that he’s still very weak in the end. He basically has part of an Iron Man suit, but it leaves him very vurlnable. His character’s fairly likable though. We’ve also got Ant-Man who pitches in during some key moments. I admit that I haven’t watched Ant Man enough times to really remember the actor’s face. I knew he was Ant Man based on the trailers and plot, but he felt so out of place in this film. I mean that in a good way by the way. It would be like seeing Sandler walk into the battlefield against Thanos in the Infinity Gauntlet. Ant Man’s actor strikes me as a total comedy character and I suppose that it works quite well for Ant Man. There’s really a lot that you can do with size shifting abilities. It’s not the most glamorous power, but it is effective. As for turning huge…I think that’s overrated. If you get hit by an opponent who is that slow, then it’s time for an upgrade.

I’m not really a fan of War Machine here though. It’s not because of the fact that he’s super pro registration because I was on Team Iron Man myself, but it’s why he wants to join. It feels like he’s putting the army before the team (Again…see Iron Man 2 for reference) and that’s why it’s always a little tough to trust teammates who have connections to other groups. If only SHIELD and Agent Coulson were still alive to help sort things out eh? They probably could have helped the heroes go underground as another option. Hawkeye’s role is very small, but very good as well. It was cool to see him break into the Avengers base and he did a good job during the action scenes. He’s a likable member and definitely another guy that Cap can trust.
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Time to talk about the real main characters of the film. I was on Team Iron Man coming into the film by the way and I left on that side as well. It’s not a black and white debate and I’ve always been opposed to registration. In the comics, Iron Man’s team was completely wrong. The Registration act was much worse than the equivalent that we see in the film so that’s one big change. Either way, I’m still against any agreement with the government, but I have to stay on Team Iron Man because I can’t stand Winter Soldier. More on that in a little while.

Back to Iron Man. I think that his decision to quickly go along with the documents because he was shown a picture of someone who died during one of the fights is a little forced/rushed and out of character. We needed the conflict somehow though and this is Iron Man, he would definitely start bending the rules and reshaping the agreement after it was signed. Captain America asks Tony what would happen if they saw a bad situation and weren’t given permission to act. I’m fairly confident that Tony would act anyway and the Avengers would be in agreement. Ultimately, this would lead to even more bad consequences for the team so in that sense Cap is right. They may as well just not sign. Especially due to the fact that the government always turns out to be evil in media and this film is no exception. You can also tell that Iron Man is getting a lot older though and you have to wonder how long he can keep this up. Perhaps age has dulled his reasoning, but his fighting skills are still top notch when necessary. Towards the end of the film, Iron Man goes into a fight without holding back. You can draw a lot of parallels to Batman V Superman in those moments.

Needless to say, Iron Man wasn’t taking any prisoners. Obviously, I’m always technically on the side of saving the murderer since we can’t take justice into our own hands. So, Iron Man should lose, but I’m still rooting for him in the moment. It’s like when you like a bad guy and root for him/her over the heroes. They’re evil, but at that point they are simply a lot more interesting than the heroes. I can appreciate a character who has the fortitude to make the right call because it’s incredibly difficult to make that call. So, as a viewer I’m okay with seeing the villain get destroyed depending on the reason and the method, but I’ll still be fine with another hero saving him/her because it’s the right thing to do. I just won’t be rooting for that character at the moment. An example is from the show Yugioh Zexal. The main villain murdered all of the main character’s friends, but at the end the hero tries to save him anyway and even says that they could be friends. That’s……..very forgiving and I know for a fact that I couldn’t make that call. It’s a good call (Well, saying that they’re friends is wayyyyy to disrespectful to his friend’s memories if you ask me) but if there was another character trying to destroy the main villain, then I’d be on his side. It’s like how I was on Black Panther’s side when he went to destroy the Winter Soldier. Thus, I was pretty pleased with Iron Man’s portrayal here. He even tried to be reasonable at the end until that became impossible.

Captain America makes for a great lead as you would expect. He’s a great hero and tries to always do the right thing. He’s in a bad spot since all of his friends are choosing a side. He also had to go during the initial meeting due to an emergency which was tricky since it meant that everyone chose sides while he was gone. The film did adapt his famous line from the comics about how even if everyone tells you that something wrong is something right, then you have a duty to resist. When told to move, you should plant your feet down and say “No, you move.” It was a great quote of Cap’s so it was good to see it used in the film. While I was always against Cap, he was constantly making hero calls and ultimately he is just trying to help a friend. Bucky was mind controlled into doing awful things so it wasn’t really him. Cap doesn’t want him to have to die for things that were not under his control.

He also doesn’t lose sight of the innocents in the crossfire either. He sticks up for Scarlet Witch the entire film and even goes easy on his opponents like Spider-Man. He’s careful to avoid hurting anyone too seriously and his move at the very, very end of the film was great as well. It’s really impossible not to like the guy and he’s one of the best characters in the film. I do think that his strength can be inconsistent as the expense of other characters, but I’m glad that he looks very powerful here.

As for the Winter Soldier, I really dislike the character. Sure, he was mind controlled, but he doesn’t seem very remorseful about what he has done either. He shows no regret and never resists the mind control all that much. I’d say that it’s because it is in his nature. “I won’t kill anyone” Winter Soldier says right before he drops someone to instant death, but Captain America quickly saves the guy before the murder can occur. Bucky was willing to destroy that guy and he goes all out against just about everyone. He’s constantly looking to deal a mortal blow or at least a very serious one if it will let him escape. There’s no way that I can consider this guy to be a hero or even a slightly likable character. That’s why I couldn’t be on Cap’s team. This is just impossible to like at all. Protecting him is the right move, but I don’t have to like it.

As far as the villains are concerned, there are really only two this time around and both of them are fairly minor. We have Crossbones who makes for a good intro villain for the heroes to fight. He puts up a pretty good fight against Cap and actually manages to bring in a draw by the end. Baron Zemo never gets to be in his costume which is a shame, but he does a good job of masterminding the whole film. It would have been awesome if he had actually committed a certain plan that was hinted at. It would have made for a great final fight, but his true ace was just about as good. General Ross also had his own plans in motion, but he was really not that smart. He kept overplaying his hand. Once he got half of the team to sign the document, he should have taken it slowly. Instead, he placed some individuals in a max prison with very inhumane conditions. It’s almost like he wants the heroes to turn against him. If he tried to arrest Iron Man, then a civil war would have really broken out.

Naturally, I won’t say what happened in the after-credit scenes, but needless to say they were not quite as good as I had hoped. The first one was decent since it gave the film a little closure and I definitely like the option here. The characters in the first scene are in a much better position now. As for the second scene, it is very anti climactic and sad when you think about it. The film could have made it a lot more epic and exciting with a quick shape-shift or an Infinity Gem locked inside of a chest or something. You should stick around to watch the first one, but there’s really no need to stick around for the second I’m afraid.

Part of why Civil War is so good is because it is able to balance the serious and light moments rather well. It’s a very upbeat film, but it still gets serious once in a while for something grim to happen, but not for it to be overly grim. I was worried when Zemo confronted a Hydra agent that we were going to get a super violent moment, but it was fairly tame and I’m glad that the Hydra guy stood firm. This event was a lot different from the comics of course, but it was cool to see the film adapt as much as possible and throw in references/moments when possible. The big Captain America vs Iron Man visual made it in of course and there were several more homages that I’ll let you find out through watching it.

Unfortunately, Civil War followed The Amazing Spider Man 2 in the sense that moments from the trailer were not present in the film. “YOU JUST STARTED A WAR!” remember that line? It’s not in the film. “I was wrong about you….we were all wrong about you.” That’s not in the film either. It’s a shame because those two moments were important in the trailers because they showed that things had reached a certain moment of no turning back. Instead, the lines were pure click bait. The film is still very satisfying on the civil war angle and the ending was a lot more decisive than I had imagined, but it’s still too bad that some trailer scenes weren’t present in the end. I feel like a trailer should always have all of its content be in the film.

All right, we’re near the end now. Aside from power level inconsistencies hurting the film’s logic, I’ve depicted how Civil War was just about perfect. Well, why did it lose to Batman V Superman? Here’s why Batman V Superman was the better film. The soundtrack was infinitely better than Captain America, the latter of which had no significant themes of note. Batman V Superman’s fights were significantly better. Cap’s were amazing though and Marvel’s best, but they simply can’t come close to DC’s. Third, as interesting and engaging as Captain America was, Batman V Superman just obliterated it there. The film has you at the edge of your seat for most of it. Granted, as a much bigger DC fan than Marvel, that will almost always be the case since Batman and Superman make for very engaging leads even when they aren’t written as well as they could be. (Batman lacking in intelligence and Superman being a pushover) So, Civil War was great, but I feel like it loses to Batman V Superman in just about every way. Civil War does beat it with having less unlikable characters and no random bathtub scene though.

Be warned though that Civil War’s ending is a little intense. It was so intense in fact that nobody clapped when the credits started rolling and I had to personally start it all off. I think everyone was in shock or something, but I can’t blame them. It takes a while to get used to these things. After all, Civil War was a thrill a minute and there was never a dull moment during the entire movie. The closest scene to being boring would be the very first one, but it still wasn’t that bad. The pacing is quite excellent for this film. I was the only one who clapped after the final extra credit scene as well, but it was pretty underwhelming so I don’t blame the audience for the silence this time.
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Overall, Captain America is a great film though and no live action film will be able to defeat it for a very long time. In the near future, the only films that may have a shot are Infinity Gauntlet Part 1 (Which I think will actually lose unless Thanos gets his big fight) and Justice League. (Which I’m also a little skeptical of) If you haven’t seen this film yet then I highly recommend that you check it out ASAP. Even if you somehow don’t know who Captain America, Iron Man, and Spider-Man are, you’ll be in for a treat. Considering how well the team fight went, I’m ready to see a full blown Avengers vs Justice League fight in 20 years. Hey, nobody thought that we’d ever get Spider-Man and the Avengers. Given time, I’m sure that a crossover film is bound to happen! Of course, we’d need Thor and Hulk this time around to keep the fight from being too one sided

Overall 9/10

The Narrow Margin Review

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It’s time to take a look at an old train film. Just about the whole film takes place on the train with the detective matching wits against the mobsters. It’s a very short film though, only being a little over an hour so it certainly never drags and the pacing stays rather quick the whole time. It’s a fun little detective film. It may not have the same amount of depth as some other retro thrillers, but this is a good film to add to your collection.

Walter Brown is a good detective/police agent who has been tasked with the job of safely getting the wife of a gangster to a jury so she can release a list of names of other wanted associates. The gangsters don’t want this to happen so they’ve sent some men to eliminate her. The advantage that Walter has is that the villains do not know how the wife looks. Unfortunately, Walter’s partner was an amateur at the protecting business and when escorting the lady out of her apartment, he walked down the dark stairs with his eyes closed and enjoying his smoke. He did not notice anything until an innocent bystander happened to show up and the partner quickly died. With him out of the way, Walter must now keep the wife safe on his own. Can he handle this? At least 2 gangsters are already on board the train and there may be more of them afoot.

The situation grows more complicated as the gangsters start to suspect that another lady on board the train is actually the wife thanks to Walter stopping to talk to this lady quite a few times. Can Walter complete his mission and also ensure that no innocents are harmed either? Looks like it is time for a fight! As Walter says at the beginning of the movie, this mission wasn’t very well thought out on the cops side. Surely there is a more secure way of protecting this witness than putting her on board a crowded train with other gangsters right? Maybe a drive with a police escort or something like that. It would take longer, but it would also be safer.

As this is an old film with a good writing staff, the script is very good. The characters engage in quite a few mind games and throw out subtle insults whenever necessary. It doesn’t mean that all of the characters are likable though as that aspect is really 50/50, but the film is engaging all the way from start to finish. This is a solid thriller even if there are not a lot of twists and ruffles. It’s simple, but direct.

As hinted at earlier, I thought that Walter’s partner was pretty terrible at his job and supremely overconfident. The way that he went down was pretty embarrassing. Walter would be a good main character, but he ends up panicking and yelling a lot throughout the film. A detective’s always got to keep his cool under duress while this guy seems to take everything personally. Everything tends to work out all right for him, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he is great at his job. On the contrary, he leaves his post many times and actually gets his charge killed at one point. Maybe if he spent less time tailing everyone around the train and stopping to chat with the other passengers, he would have had better luck here. Tying up the convict that he did defeat would have surely been a good move as well.

The witness that Walter is protecting loves to talk so get ready for her to keep on insulting everyone. There is a plot twist about her that makes the whole situation a lot worse as well. She refused to play along with Walter’s plan to stay silent so she would turn the music on rather loudly which attracts a lot of attention since officially she can’t let anyone know that she’s on the train. There’s also the fact that she casually opens the door rather easily after hearing a muffled response. Given the plot twist, she should have had her gun at the ready and definitely should have not opened the door. She’s as bad as Walter in that respect.

The villains are fairly generic. They’re around and know how to fight, but in the end they’re simply foot soldiers working for some unseen gangsters. The one who offered Walter a deal surprisingly didn’t get much of a role in the end. One character who actually turned out to be pretty enjoyable was the “Fat Man” I forgot if he got a name by the end, but that’s the term that he kept on using so we may as well roll with it. He’s really invaluable to have on a Train and especially a train with such narrow hallways as this one. Unfortunately, he’s another all talk and no action character so don’t count on him in a fight, but he’s still fun to have and that’s what counts I suppose right?

We also have Ann, who shows up on the train along with her son and his nurse. They’re fine characters I suppose, but they’re really just here to flesh out the cast more than anything else. The secret that Walter tells the kid never even comes into play anyway. They provide a lot of distractions and issues for Walter from his job since the kid seems to think that he’s a robber and Ann keeps reminding Walter to watch out for his nerves. Walter can’t let himself get too attached though because then the person he is guarding could be in danger. Unfortunately, he does forget his priorities a lot although he is faced with a lot of tricky situations. He really needed some backup for this case and it is a little surprising that he wasn’t given any. At least someone right before the train departed right? I can say with confidence that having one more person would have been extremely helpful.

Back to how the case was handled though, the police could have come up with a better plan. Send in two more guys and just make it official that they’re transporting someone. Good luck trying to get past these guys when it’s public knowledge. Also, they should have had security cars following the train once it was confirmed that crooks were following the main guy. The problem is that there was no communication so he was never able to talk to any of the cops. I’d call that a pretty big oversight in whatever the plan was.

Overall, The Narrow Margin was a solid thriller, I definitely recommend checking it out. The plan may have not been the best, but Walter worked with what he got and showed the Police Force that he doesn’t take bribes. He also wins the big fist fight of the film so he proved that when the chips were down he did not need a gun. I have to question the intelligence of the whole cast though in light of the fact that just about everyone left their doors unlocked for the majority of the film. To break the locks, you need to use a gun and that calls attention so the main characters should have definitely kept the rooms locked. Sure, once Walter let the guy in as part of his plan, but how about catching the guy in the act or simply keeping him out. The villains would try breaking in at some point, but Walter would have the edge with his gun at the ready. I definitely would have handled things differently than Walter, but I suppose that’s part of the fun of these thrillers; thinking of the potential ways this could have ended differently.

Overall 7/10

The Fortune Cookie Review

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It’s time for an old school comedy with this film. Fortune Cookie is certainly a winner and the film’s plot is helped out by a great script. I also give the film props for the fact that a Fortune Cookie actually does appear in the film so the title wasn’t too vague. Forget hidden meanings, I would have been a little upset if the actual fortune cookie had not made an appearance here. The film can be a bit sad, but for the most part it is just a great joyride in the end.

Harry was a photographer who was covering a Cleveland Browns game for the NFL. Unfortunately, he was a little close to the action and the punt returner ended up hitting him rather hard. Harry was knocked unconscious and taken to the hospital in case he may have been injured rather seriously. This wasn’t the case and Harry was ready to go back home, but that’s when his brother Willie shows up. Willie lets Harry know that he can easily earn 1 million dollars out of this if he’ll just pretend to be injured. Harry doesn’t like this plan since he’s always been a law abiding citizen, but Willie lets him know that his divorced wife may come back to him if he goes ahead with the deal. She even calls and pretends to care about him so Harry decides to go through with the plan. Can he really keep up the charade long enough for the NFL to back down?

Willie is really the character who steals the show here. He really knows his stuff when it comes to conning people about fake injuries. Not only does he know a lot of cases from back in the day, but he knows how to merge fact and fiction in order to make a very believable narrative. Willie is an incredibly charismatic character and he fills the film with good one liners throughout. He can be a little mean, the film also makes a point of showing that he’s not really a good guy. The one thing that he does really like is money though and he is good at making it. He’s no hero, but he is the character that the film needed to boost it to the next level. The NFL keeps on trying to trick the heroes with underhanded tactics like bugging the apartment, but Willie sees through them every single time and is always ahead of the game. Without him, the film would have been over before it could have even begun.

Harry is not quite as good. In the end he makes the right choice about not keeping up the lie, but the process of getting there was quite painful. He is extremely naive whenever the ex wife appears. It’s extremely obvious that she does not care for him one bit and just wants the money, but he doesn’t seem to suspect anything until he finally breaks down at the end and takes it out on everyone. He is also very wishy washy at times as he keeps on acting as if he doesn’t want to go through with the plan before letting Willie convince him. It’s almost as if it is just an act he is putting on so he looks reluctant before going through with it. It’s just really hard to like Harry even if he is portrayed as the “nice” character. He simply lets himself get pulled along for the ride for too long before double thinking it.

No worries, we have an array of supporting characters at the ready who are solid enough to cover for Harry. The Doctor from one of the first scenes is great as he talks back to Willie the whole time and certainly isn’t afraid to dish out the insults. He may have been played like a fiddle, but he kept them honest. There was also the shady doctor who suspected that the whole thing was fake from the start, but ultimately he could not prove it. The 3 NFL lawyers were also fairly great as they tried their best to take Willie down a peg or two. They may have lost every fight, but I liked the way that they sat down and discussed the situation before making a move. It didn’t work out, but some plans just don’t in the end. They still gave it their all and helped make the film so fun.

Meanwhile, we have a character who is played seriously. Boom Boom Jackson is the character who injured Harry in the first place and he wants to rectify his mistake by helping Willie as much as possible. The thing is, he is a character that you don’t want to see at times. That’s because you can kind of feel bad for him since this is obviously upsetting. How would you feel if you may have just crippled a person for life right? So, Jackson is a very sympathetic character and the fact that you know how he is being used just makes it all the worse. However, as Willie was my favorite character, I was rooting for him the entire time. It was a conflict of interest. I’d say that the film did drop the ball with Jackson towards the end though as he probably took things way too hard. He did his part to help Harry out, but that’s no real reason to start missing meetings, tanking at the games, and getting into bar room fights. It felt a little forced to be honest so that Harry would be pressured into making the right call.

This film certainly did have a lot of fun with itself. You can tell from all of the super over dramatic characters. Take the mom for instance, she spent the entire film being really hysterical and crying nonstop. She felt like a parody character. This colorful cast of characters ended up being a really strong pack. As mentioned before, the writing is also strong and in the end this film is really complete.

I also have to give some credit to the ending because it was handled really well. By “the ending” I’m talking about Willie’s scene by the way. He’s very good at thinking on his feet and immediately knows how to turn a bad situation into a good one. Harry may have bailed out on him, but he realized that now he can sue the NFL for breaking the constitution by bugging and spying on his house the entire time. He has no proof so it’ll be tough, but he can definitely pull this off. I wouldn’t mind a sequel to this film!

Overall, The Fortune Cookie is one of the best films that I’ve seen in a long time. It has a perfect blend of humor and more humor as Willie steals the show here. The mental battle between him and the NFL is really why you’ll be at the edge of your seat for this film, but all of the characters really do a good job here. The unlikable ex-wife is made to be a bad character of course, but at least she is also super exaggerated. Think of it as Harry’s ultimate moral crisis. Can he make the right move while being surrounded by bad influences everywhere? I do wish that he had a stronger resolve and hesitated less, but you can’t be perfect and I suppose this gave Willie more room to shine since he was always the smartest guy in the room.

Overall 8/10

The Invisible Boy Review

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Time to take a look at Robbie The Robot’s next big appearance. I wasn’t a big fan of the Forbidden Planet, but this film fixes just about all of my complaints. At most, you can say that this film is a little dull for most of the film, but slice of life stories can be good as long as the writing is strong. This film manages to get past the fact that the main character is a little kid since that’s usually worrisome for me.

Timmie is a pretty smart kid and he manages to pull off a feat that the world’s greatest scientists could not accomplish. He reawakens a robot that was found through time travel many years ago. (Well…he had some help from the evil A.I.) The scientists are so furious with this that they pretend that Timmie’s accomplishment is not a big deal. They essentially ignore him so Timmie asks his robot to make him invisible. The parents take this in stride and have fun talking to him about particles and super science equations. Timmie’s a little puzzled by all of this. Unfortunately for National Security, there is a central intelligence machine that wants to take down the planet. Can they really regroup in time?

The tone and atmosphere from this film are very different from the Forbidden Planet. This one plays out like an I Love Lucy episode or an Andy Griffith rerun. There is nothing supernatural of action packed about this installment and Timmie just wants to have a good time. You can definitely call this one part comedy as every character intentionally acts unrealistic as they take everything in stride without batting an eye. In this world, there is nothing weird about a kid turning invisible or a robot time travelling. You would think that this film took place in the old days, but even with alien parts, it’s hard to imagine that people could build such a sophisticated A.I. so easily.

The villainous A.I. is pretty good. It’s nowhere near the All Time greats like Skynet or Hal 9000, the ones who paved the way for evil A.I. programs, but it tries its best. I suppose that it is just a little less menacing and I do wish that it had a better physical body although most A.I. start out as mere generators anyway. As per usual, Robbie steals the show here even if he’s not quite as sarcastic and full of one liners as he was last time. After all, he’s not in his right mind for part of this film as he is quickly taken over by the A.I. Even futuristic robots are not safe from its presence.

As for the characters, Timmie’s a decent main character. He can be a little unreasonable and gullible though as he rides a kite in a very dangerous way and opts to be invisible for the lolz. It’s a great power, but I’d ask Robbie for an on and off switch to make it more practical. Robbie can do just about anything so I think it would probably be a pretty easy feat for the guy. The parents are all right I suppose although there is one scene that is a little dicey for them.

Keep in mind that Timmie is a little kid and up to now he’s basically been a model student. When he turns invisible, he decides to spy on his parents while they are trying to hurt the film’s score with unnecessary scenes. The parents realize this and try to catch him so we get a Scooby Doo chase scene. It’s a total Scooby Doo moment, which also means that they start to fear him a little as he retaliates by throwing pillows and other soft objects. You’ll have to suspend a lot of disbelief here. Would you ever be scared of your 7 year old son just because he turned invisible? It’s a little hard to fathom, but they took the win in the end and Timmie got spanked so alls well that ends well I guess.

As per usual, Robbie was the best character here and the A.I. was solid as well. The government looks decently good as they try to pressure the Dad into giving up the secret to his robots, but he doesn’t have any of that. They look discouraged, but not defeated after that scene. I liked the co-workers as well since none of them got along so we got a lot of passive-aggressive insults traded amongst themselves as Timmie used his invisibility powers to mess with the lot of them. It brings up the question, what would you do with invisibility? Would you use your powers to make the world a better place by going on top secret missions for the government or would you pull pranks on everyone so you could brag about your powers? Think carefully on this…

There’s no soundtrack of course and there’s really not much else to say about the film. It’s a pleasant experience. It tries to get a little serious by the end, but even then it stays very light toned with comedy undertones. If you were waiting for the hype moment in the poster above to occur..you’ll be waiting a while. This isn’t really that kind of movie, or at least it’s not played out quite so seriously. The slice of life feel works for this film though and it never really drags on.

Overall, The Invisible Boy is a good film. There are really no negatives to be found here. There’s not much action and while it is a good film, I wouldn’t call it a great one. It would need to have some more exciting moments or better characters to get a higher score. Compared to the average movie though, a 6 is quite high. I recommend this film if you want a nice little film to watch and remember the good ole days with. It’ll certainly be nostalgic for older viewers. If you want more action, then you should probably check out Terminator Genisys for a more serious take on this concept. Of course, you’ll miss out on Robbie The Robot that way so think about this move carefully.

Overall 6/10

Forbidden Planet Review

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It’s time to look at a second rate Star Trek film with a crew that certainly won’t impress you. This film was so much worse than I had expected it to be due to the terribly written romance that was included. So, to those that say this is Star Wars IV level, I have to shake my head this time. I don’t think I want any big remakes of this film and I’d rather they adapt The Invisible Boy again. That review’s coming soon so prepare yourself for it. On that note, here we go!

John and his friends command a spaceship and have been sent to an alien planet to look for a researcher who vanished here many years ago. They find him all right, but the rest of the crew has been mysteriously murdered. Hmmm, is it possible that there was some foul play afoot here? The researcher refuses to answer any questions, but the team of space cadets is attacked by an invisible monster at night. After a few space cadets are murdered, John decides to not focus on the issue all that much and focus on romance instead. Does this crew really stand a chance at accomplishing their mission?

The rest of the film would have gotten a decent 6/10 ranking if not for the romance so let’s start with that. The main heroine is Altaira and the problem is that she doesn’t really understand human culture. She doesn’t know what a “kiss” is, etc. The group naturally takes advantage of this and several (perhaps all. Given that the film hints at this by having her say “Why don’t you kiss me like everyone else” to the main character) of them kiss her. The film uses this as an excuse to have her bathing without a bathing suit because she doesn’t know what one is along with fairly dicey forms of attire. You’d think that John would be above all this since he’s the commander, but he decides to get in on the fun as well.

It’s a terrible romance because Altaira doesn’t really understand what she’s doing. The men are just tricking her for their own pleasure. John even admits that they haven’t seen a woman in a very long time so the crew will all dash at her. John says it as a warning, and yet…he’s no better. Altaira essentially has the maturity of a child and so, this romance was never going to work and it obliterated any chance that the film had of being good.

None of the human characters were likable either so that didn’t exactly help the film either. John is a terrible captain and none of his men seem to have any moral values. Altaira is way too naive and her father is cryptic and shady for no real reason. He doesn’t warn the space cadets about the monster until it destroys a few of the members and he didn’t even realize that messing with futuristic tech could destroy his mind. He’s supposed to be some kind of genius right?

Forbidden Planet also goes to great depths to show off its equipment at the expense of destroying the film’s pacing. The pacing completely dies for nearly an hour as the characters slowly walk from room to room looking at just about every single piece of equipment. They even take a quick ride around the complex, which takes around 15 minutes of real time just for fun. Maybe if the effects actually looked good it wouldn’t drag quite as much, but compared to films like Tron Legacy…this one can’t hold up.

The effects aren’t bad though and apparently they were terrific for its day. I don’t think it justifies the incredibly long wait time though. There’s not really a soundtrack, but you wouldn’t expect one for a very old film like this one. There is one highlight to the film that I haven’t really touched on yet. That’s the famous Robbie the Robot. Rob definitely deserves all of the praise that he gets because the character is very enjoyable and a bright spot amidst my other complaints. He has a nice blend of condescending smacktalk with subtle sarcasm to make him a rather deep character. He’s certainly not two dimensional and he’s very loyal as well. He is powerful and I would have liked to have seen him fight the monster, but that’s all right. The insults all make up for it. It’s easy to see why he would later return for other movies.

The monster was also decently cool. The invisibility trick was likely to save the budget, but we got some glimpses here and there and even a quick shot towards the end. I wish the monster could have appeared for an extended amount of time though. Regardless, it broke the barriers made of pure energy which theoretically should not be possible. Who knows, we may have found a rival for Godzilla after all. It’s a shame that this action part of the film could not have been a bit longer because it was easily the highlight of the film. I’m always up for more action after all and the laser fights reminded me of Star Trek. It was certainly made in that kind of style and had the film gone this route, it likely would have been a lot better.

Overall, A terrible romance is what ultimately doomed this film. It could be drawn out and a little boring at times, but it would have still doubled the score that it ultimately got here. The laser action scenes and the giant monster would make sure of it. Maybe throw in a twist about aliens arriving as well for extra tension. If you’re looking for a retro sci-fi film, you should just go and watch Star Wars Episode IV. If you do plan to see the film, at least you’ll have Robbie The Robot to enjoy. His presence in the film does help to elevate it to a certain degree. This isn’t the last that you’ll see of good ole Robbie though as my next review will feature another big appearance of his.

Overall 3/10