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Hellboy: Blood and Iron Review

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Time for another Hellboy adventure. This time we’re throwing in vampires so Hellboy will have to be careful on this one. It’s definitely more intense than the last film but still has a fun charm to it. It does double down a bit with the flashbacks though and the film spends way too much time going backwards there. I think they should have done it all at the start, maybe cut a scene or two in order to keep the viewers in the dark and that would have definitely helped the pacing right from the start.

The film starts off with Trevor, a priest, and a group of soldiers heading into the deep reaches of the forest to destroy the vampire Erzsebet who has been kidnapping and murdering many people in order to stay young and beautiful. Nearly the whole squad is murdered but they successfully defeat her. Unfortunately in the present, Trevor can feel that she has returned. When a guy named Oliver asks Hellboy’s group to see if his mansion is haunted, Trevor quickly says that he will bring the whole A team. This is a little concerning to the rest of the group as Trevor hasn’t been onto the field in years but he refuses to give them any details. So now they will have to figure out what is going on by themselves. Will this really work out?

First off I do have to blame Trevor for a lot of this. He really had no reason to be keeping secrets from Hellboy. He should have told him everything right from the start. Hellboy can take care of himself, but that’s not really the point. As a field leader you need to be putting your guys in the best possible position to be safe and accounted for. Keeping valuable info away is not doing that. Trevor seems to think he can hold his own here with the holy water that he has but the guy ultimately has to hope that he is really lucky.

He is still doing better than the priest though. Lupescu looks terrible in this film as he cracked before the fights had even begun. I don’t get why he was so nervous, it’s like his faith was paper thin without even being tested. I suppose that was the point but it certainly came at his expense. Even by the end I never got around to liking him. As far as I’m concerned, he really got himself into all of these messes and could have saved a lot of lives if he had just manned up when it counted.

Hellboy looks good as always though. Even when he finds out that Trevor is keeping secrets from him, Hellboy doesn’t take it super personally or start panicking. No, he just keeps going about his business and doing his part to help out. That’s why he is a real hero. This time he is in for a fairly painful adventure as well since he is stabbed on multiple occasions and is basically used as a punching bag the whole time. He is almost never in the lead during this film.

That doesn’t stop him from still having a lot of confidence and getting in good burns though. That’s exactly the way that he rolls. Liz gets a lot more to do here than last time as she takes down a group of enemies with her flame abilities. Honestly she probably should have helped more in the climax. At one point she uses her fire and the villain uses it to start burning the others but then they should just get out of the way.

It’s possible that her powers would have had no effect but I would have liked to have seen her using them in action for a longer period of time to really prove that. As for Abe, the poor guy mostly just gets beaten up the whole time. He even gets kidnapped by a pair of old witches so he had a really bad time here. At this point I wonder if perhaps he just shouldn’t be out in the field with the others. Staying at home providing tactical support would probably be best.

As for the villains, Erzsebet gets most of the screentime here. She is fairly powerful and only tends to lose because of her incredible overconfidence. Tackling someone out the window when you’re allergic to sunlight is always going to backfire. She also falls for the holy water trick more than once. A decent villain all things considered but yeah if she was even decently smart then the heroes would have probably been taken down.

The final boss Hecate is a bit more impressive. She doesn’t get to have as much screentime but is quite powerful and gives Hellboy a tough time. Hecate was mentioned since near the beginning but otherwise would almost feel out of nowhere with how she shows up in her true form for a fight. I always like ending a film with a big battle though so that worked for me. I don’t see her ending up as one of the more memorable characters but she handled her role well enough.

The film does have the usual vampire blood drinking but at least not a ton of it. The film is noticeably more violent than the other Hellboy titles but I wouldn’t say it is to a crazy degree. The biggest negative here is still how much you won’t care about what was going on with the soldiers and the vampires in the flashback scenes. Instead of drip feeding this and playing the scenes backwards, they should have gotten it all over with right away. If you ask me, that would have been a much better way to go. Otherwise you need a crazy payoff to explain why the flashbacks had to be spread out like this and I wouldn’t say there is any twist on such a massive level.

The movie is at its best when the characters are all having a good time and messing with each other. All of them were super skeptical about the haunted house which made for good dialogue around the board. At the same time they were professional enough to bring in the equipment and actually check so that was good. The group really needs one more power hitter to fight alongside Hellboy though. Liz has the power but she’s a long range type. We need a brawler who can fight. Otherwise Hellboy is basically by himself like when Abe got shoved aside with ease against one of the minions during the hallway battle. It’s probably hard for the lead to concentrate when he constantly has to save everybody else.

Overall, Hellboy delivers with another good adventure here. It does feel like a bit of a step down from the first two but not by too much. We still got a lot of action and the villains weren’t bad. The pacing gets hurt at times though and it’s not quite as crazy as the first two. That’s another byproduct of the lore part with the vampires. Just let us get right ahead to the story already! That would have definitely pushed the title to the next level. Still, I would have been hyped for more of these adventures to be animated. Maybe at some point they would fight a villain group that mirrors Hellboy’s team. If you’ve seen the first two films then you should check this one out as well.

Overall 6/10

Hellboy: Sword of Storms Review

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Hellboy is back with an animated adventure! Now this is a film that I had not seen before so that made it extra fresh. The movie is not particularly long so everything has to happen at double speed here. I liked the really frantic pacing and there was a lot of action to be had. If you’re a big fan of the supporting cast then this may not rank quite as highly for you though as it is very much a Hellboy only adventure. The other characters just don’t get to do nearly as much.

The film starts off with a pretty fun action scene as Hellboy gets to be thrown around for a while before launching his comeback. Liz and Abe also run in to help a bit but I hope you enjoyed their scene a lot because after this they are thrown into a meaningless subplot never to do much more from there. It’s too bad because in this version Liz seems to be a lot more fun than in the main film. She is very sarcastic and more confident in herself. Her flame abilities may not be 100% mastered but she has pretty decent control over them. Also they seem stronger, or maybe Hellboy’s just a bit weaker since he doesn’t seem to have complete immunity against the flames anymore.

The real plot starts here though. Sakai sloppily allows himself to be controlled by an ancient spirit so Hellboy and the gang are called in. He is assisted by Kate and Russell on this one but Hellboy is quickly taken into another dimension thanks to he mythical sword. He has to find a way out and these spirits sure like talking. Hellboy will have to get past all of them but can he pull this off?

One thing you will notice right away is how done with the whole situation Hellboy is. He’s quite sarcastic and has a fun sense of humor with how jaded he is. That’s the biggest strength of the film in general. The characters all have a lot of great lines and the banter is particularly fun here. Hellboy’s incredibly deadpan and why not right? He’s been around for a very long time and so nothing particularly surprises him anymore. Spirits of lightning and thunder? Ghost possessions? Giant monsters? Yeah he’s seen all of that before so that is why he is able to stay extremely calm the whole time. I can respect that.

The first thing I do have to admit is that I didn’t really care about the ghost substory here. yeah it was all tragic and everything but (and this is an issue the sequel has as well) I just want to stick to the present here. Anytime we have to learn more about what happened with the sword, it’s just a bit dull. Not super dull since like I mentioned the pacing is pretty fast, but it’s still not as good as the present. I want to see Hellboy and the others running around. Maybe use the extra time to extend the fight Liz and Abe had with the water creature and actually give us a decisive victory. It did make for a fun gag near the end of the film but they could have probably deserved a bit more here.

The fight scenes were pretty good all around. The animation was very colorful and bright although I thought it was a bit rough at times. I was really surprised to learn that it was an actual anime company behind this. Maybe they were told to rough up the edges a bit to look more like an American production That sounds a little crazy but hey you never know right? It was still good on the whole though and in animation you can have a little more fun with the fights than in live action. It’s why everyone looks stronger here.

Yes, technically Hellboy spends more time being thrown around in this version but he does get up after every hit so you have to give him that one. While Kate and Russell never end up being the most interesting characters, I do appreciate the fil trying to give the organization more to do. After all this is apparently an organization with a lot of members who have connections across the planet. It would make sense that Hellboy would be paired up with different members from time to time as opposed to the same 3 in every adventure.

So my only complaint would be to make the lore a bit more interesting. Specifically I’m talking about the flashback that sets up the ghost with unfinished business since I really enjoy the modern day lore. Maybe just use a different setting? The feudal times are almost always going to be inherently less interesting than the present. Maybe have the villains come from the underworld or something. That would catch your attention right away. Or you could just hint at some kind of past and be as dismissive about it as Hellboy is dismissive of the characters. Could be a good parallel but ultimately it’s not like there is much concrete advice to give here. Either a backstory will be interesting or it won’t be. Since this film succeeded and was a lot of fun anyway, perhaps it wasn’t too much of a big deal.

Overall, This was a pretty fun film. I would have liked it to have been a bit longer since it could have given us more fight scenes and such but it still accomplishes all of the main goals. It works perfectly well as a stand alone adventure and honestly as a kid I could totally picture it being a sequel to the live action film. There are some obvious continuity issues but as a kid I would probably overlook them while enjoying the adventure. It does serve as further evidence that the Hellboy verse is one that can absolutely fit a lot of stories into it. You could do so many adventures of Hellboy fighting different supernatural threats. So far none of the reboots seem to work but hopefully one day it becomes a big hit.

Overall 7/10

Hellboy Review

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It’s definitely been a long while since I’ve seen his one. The original Hellboy film was definitely a fun one and it’s the kind of random superhero film that you don’t see too much of. It kind of just throws you into a pretty big universe of characters and demons running around without trying to smooth it over with the general audience. You either like what they are going for right away or you don’t. There isn’t a whole lot of in between there and that works for me.

The film starts off during World War II with the Nazis trying to open some kind of portal to summon demons. The heroes stop them but find that a small demon has already gone through. He seems harmless enough and so they take him in. The demon is dubbed Hellboy and many years later, has become one of the best fighters in the BPRD. He is essentially immortal or at least has a long life as well as natural super strength and defenses. It’s good to have him on the side of the heroes although there are skeptics that think he should not be there. Some just don’t trust demons.

Well, that is where John comes in. He’s been transferred to help out at this unit as well as be Hellboy’s sidekick. Hellboy isn’t thrilled about this and gets even more upset when Tom appears to begin getting a crush on Liz, the girl that Hellboy likes. Now we have a bit of a rivalry when there isn’t time for one. The Nazi who fell into the portal has been revived along with his main two associates. They intend to continue their plans and Hellboy may be the only person on the planet who can stop them. Is he up to the task?

Now the subplot with Hellboy being upset at John is probably meant in part to be a bit irrational but I actually found myself being on his side. John did see to be trying to make a play while Liz was distracted by her never ending grief and so it was good that Hellboy was there to (literally) throw a rock into those plans. Ultimately it did mean he was away from the base when the villains arrived, but I’m not confident that he would have arrived in time anyway.

Hellboy is a solid lead, someone who is always ready for danger. He definitely doesn’t fear any kind of a threat of challenge and has a lot of confidence in his abilities. Perhaps his confidence does actually outweigh his abilities at times but I will always take that over being underconfident. Hellboy is one of those old school fighters who does a lot of solid posturing while winning the fight. He even has a giant gun that is useless 99% of the time but he still brings it to every mission to fire off a few shots.

Liz is a character who is rather tragic because her flame abilities are incredibly powerful but she has next to no mastery over them. They can go off at any point and often destroy tons of civilians when these outbursts happen. I give the film props for not shying away from that. There’s no quick mention about how everyone evacuated at the last second. No, she’s brought whole buildings down and lots of people have died which is why she is worried now. Definitely very valid.

In a way it does feel like the agency could have handled the situation a lot better instead of just leaving her to her own devices. Ah well, I look forward to seeing her in a more confident state in the sequel. We also have Abe helping the others as the resident mental specialist of the group. Unfortunately he really can’t fight very well so any action scene inevitably leads to him getting absolutely crushed. He was really not prepared for these fighters. Seems like a nice enough guy but you could basically write him out of the film.

As for John, he’s okay. The guy isn’t the most helpful but he does try his best. I do think he was fishy around Liz but other than that he is a decent member to the group. He doesn’t act completely shocked about every little twist which I’m glad about since some humans really overplay their hand in these films. Even if you never knew that demons existed for example, as an FBI agent you should be able to bluff pretty well.

The villains were surprisingly solid here. Kroenen is an experienced assassin who fights with a short blade at all times. He takes out quite a number of fighters in this film and what makes him scary is how he essentially cannot die. He is functionally immortal and will just keep on getting back up over and over again. A super soldier who does not tire, yes that is a fantastic premise for a villain.

Then we have the Sammael creature which also has a hard time dying. It gives Hellboy a really tough fight here. Technically Hellboy tends to always be the underdog in these fights but his endurance keeps him alive long enough to mount a comeback. I liked the design for the creature. Rasputin is a little more on the generic side. Nothing particularly wrong with him but he really has a hard time standing out. He also didn’t plan things out well in the end to put it mildly. The girl who was helping him never really got a role either.

That leads us to the best character in the film, Tom. Tom is one of those guys who just can’t stand demons. There are no exceptions for him and of course that means he doesn’t like Hellboy either. He takes a lot of shots at the demon and makes his voice known. Although this does result in Tom having to run away with his tail between his legs on multiple occasions. He can talk as tough as he wants after all but at the end of the day he is still just a human. He ends up burying the hatchet with Hellboy later on though.

The effects for the film have aged well and I also enjoyed the fights. They could be rather lengthy at times and the pacing is always quick. The film has the characters dealing a lot of damage to each other but never goes too far or feels particularly graphic. For the most part it’s your standard action film kind of action right here.

Overall, Hellboy is a fun film. It’s the kind of movie that ends before you really know it. It has no concrete weaknesses and keeps on moving forward with a very balanced approach. I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a fun action film and the universe around it is fun enough where you may even be tempted to pick up a few of the comics. The romance can be a bit on the weaker side as there isn’t much time to develop it, but we’ll see how the sequel handles that. It’ll be difficult for the next villains to pass this group.

Overall 7/10

Bunnicula: The Vampire Rabbit Review

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I was never really familiar with Bunnicula up til now. I know all about Dracula but since when wee bunnies also vampires? It was news to me but hey I was still eager to see what was going to happen here. It’s a pretty fun intro film and definitely sets the stage for what this part of the franchise would be like. The mini film is pretty fun and so I could see myself enjoying the whole show.

The film starts off with the nearby plant having a lot of strange issues recently. The latest one nearly murdered two employees so they shut it down. Two kids find a mysterious bunny nearby and so they bring it home. Chester the cat believes that the bunny is the cause of all the danger. That he’s some kind of vampire draining the life out of everything. It would explain why lately there are various fruits that have been losing their color. Almost like something is draining the juice from them. Harold is not so convinced and thinks that Chester is stretching things a bit too far.

Of course the evidence becomes hard to dispute later on as Bunnicula gets tougher and tougher. He is even able to use his supernatural abilities to take on several wolves. This bunny knows how to fight well but the powers take a lot out of him so he naps a lot. I was still glad to get a good action scene in here though. That was definitely a lot of fun and is a preview of how the shenanigans would go in an ongoing show.

The animation was also pretty good. It’s a really retro style that feels super authentic. The characters are always panicking and at the same time the voice acting helps to complement that as well. It’s a really upbeat kind of film and while it is aimed at younger viewers, the writing is solid so it works for anyone. It’s exactly the kind of fun animated film you like to see. The pacing is good as well with how short it is.

Harold is definitely my favorite character here. I always tend to have a soft spot for the skeptical characters. Why should he believe that there is something supernatural going on here right? It just doesn’t track for him and it takes a long time to change that. What I also appreciate is just how confident he is about this. There is no doubt in his mind that he is correct and that’s how a good character ought to be.

Meanwhile Chester is fun as well. The cat does his best to point out what is really going on here, no matter how insistent Harold is. That makes for a good contrast/foil between the two characters. Bunnicula in comparison doesn’t really have any character. That’s what you get when you’re sleeping for so long I suppose. That would probably be the one thing that could hold the series back. The titular character being the least interesting one is a little tricky.

The owner of the animals was surprisingly fun. When the town mob came over demanding that he hand over Bunnicula, he just called them out for being crazy. He was clearly done with the whole situation before it even happened and it makes sense since he lost his job recently thanks to the plant issues. He’s not exactly in a jolly mood and I don’t think anybody else would be either. The mob completely underestimated this guy and only got close because Harold and Chester took that time to run off with Bunnicula right in front of them.

If anything, what this film probably needed was either an antagonist or some really over eager animal catcher. It would help sell the long term appeal of the series as there would now be an obstacle that Bunnicula has to try and get around. Without that, the film will end up feeling too stand alone. It’s a bit hard to picture exactly how the show would play out here other than to have Bunnicula doing dracula type stuff the whole time.

Maybe the banter between Harold and Chester would be enough to see the adventure through. Perhaps Bunnicula continually frames them for random mischievous stuff around the house and then they have to solve it before anyone else finds out. The owner is definitely someone who is rather sharp so I could see him being tough to overcome. One wrong move and he will be right on top of them.

Overall, This was a fun special. It goes pretty fast with the solid writing and pacing. I liked the characters well enough and the only thing it seems to be missing is a long term hook. That’s ultimately not the film’s concern though. I can recommend this to anyone looking for a good time. The plot is easily accessible to anyone and has a fairly light tone throughout. Next time you see a vegetable losing its color, you’ll know what has been going on.

Overall 7/10

Slam Dunk: The Movie Review

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It’s time to look at the original Slam Dunk movie. Right away you may have been thinking about the recent one that came out but we’re going all the way to the 90s with this one. It’s a very short film as was the case for most movies that had an ongoing show at the time. It’s basically the length of an episode but that means things can go pretty quickly. Can Sakuragi defeat Oda and his team of powerful fighters?

The film starts off by explaining that the next team Sakuragi will be playing is led by Oda, the guy who is dating the girl that Sakuragi once liked. So that makes this an extra personal battle, particularly since Oda knows Sakuragi’s past as a delinquent and does not respect him on the court. Sakuragi will show that he has changed a lot since then and has no intentions of being defeated here. He will win and then go onto Nationals!

Right away what I liked here is that Sakuragi wasn’t petty or jealous. He was actually happy for the girl who got with Oda and it’s not like he had a crisis of who he is actually in love with now. He left the past in the past and that is absolutely the right way to go. I was definitely proud of him there. Oda was really the one instigating a whole lot and trying to pick a fight but Sakuragi would always control himself when it counted.

The movie shows us a lot of parallels between the two as Sakuragi is serious about Basketball and does what he needs to in order to improve. Meanwhile Oda is someone who gets rattled a lot easier and is not in control of his emotions. At one point he even hits his girlfriend and it’s meant to show how he’s just really stressed but it was a step too far. The relationship remains intact after that and she forgives him pretty quickly but it was definitely too late for me to like Oda as a character. You just can’t act like that and expect me to stay on your side at all.

He’s a decently good player but it’s also not like he is an all star or anything. Gori and Rukawa are definitely already better at this point in time. It’s why Shohoku didn’t have much of a problem taking them out. The game wasn’t as close as the scoreboard made it look if you ask me. I would have liked to have seen more of the game but I suspect it would have been difficult to actually show the game being this close without heavily nerfing the other characters.

Keep in mind that at this point in time it’s not as if Sakuragi is some kind of a super player. He’s still a newbie learning the ropes and yet he is still holding his own with Oda for a bit. The actual parts of the game we do see are definitely a lot of fun as always. Slam Dunk has an incredible ost and it’s a shame that it is so hard to find the tracks online. The ones that you do find tend to have a whole lot of sound effects layered within the video so it isn’t the smoothest watch either. I’ll take what I can get though.

The animation looks pretty solid. It’s not really a step up from the show but if you like the main episodes then you will like this one as well. It’s very smooth and they do a good job of keeping the action very high paced at all times. You can feel the tension as the game continues to go underway and they keep it up for the full episode length.

Due to the short length, it does mean that there isn’t really room for any of the other players. You get the general sense that they’re on the court of course but yeah don’t expect any big moments for those guys. This is Sakuragi and Oda’s show all the way through and for the first movie I suppose that works well enough. You’ll be sucked in enough to where you won’t really mind. The movie definitely holds your attention.

Overall, The first Slam Dunk movie was definitely quite a lot of fun. It’s a very simple film but gets to the point of why you’re watching a Basketball film to begin with. I definitely had no issues with it and would recommend it to anyone looking for a good time. The pacing is on point and it’s so short that it’s not exactly a huge investment of your time either. I can see other films beating it down the line but they’re definitely off to a good start with this one. It also fully succeeds in making Oda a really unlikable character so odds are that it might hurt him for when you watch the main show.

Overall 7/10

Satellite in the Sky Review

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It’s time for a sci-fi film that is a whole lot more low key than you may have suspected. As a result it can struggle to hold your attention at times even though it is fairly well written. The characters aren’t bad or anything but at the same time you do feel like some of the turnarounds are a bit too quick. Mainly the dynamic with the main heroine and the main character but I’ll get into that in a minute. So if you’re up for a low key film about space, then this could be the one for you.

The film starts off with Britain announcing their great Stardust spaceship. It is such a modern design that it will be able to travel in space indefinitely. Captain Michael and his crew are ready but Kim the reporter has a lot of choice words about this. She thinks exploring space is an absolute waste and keeps talking about how the rockets and science are too dangerous. It’s a fool’s game and all that. Now she’s welcome to her opinion but it goes a bit far when she sneaks aboard as a stowaway. That could have thrown everything off with weight limits and all.

Additionally, she is still quick to be flirting with Michael and the two of them hit it off. The tough talk feels like a weak front and the banter while fun, also feels fake. How would this be working out when Kim is insulting everything Michael stands for? They fight a whole lot but I guess all the insults just bounce off. The romance doesn’t make any sense and I don’t know why we needed it when there are two other romance plots going on here with the other passengers on the plane. The film certainly was not lacking in drama.

The biggest drama here is actually that the U.S. steps in to announce that they’ve covertly hijacked the mission to test a bomb. It was a quiet takeover since the U.S. funded the research and it was definitely a good power move. The main characters didn’t like it but ultimately fell into line rather quickly. They knew that otherwise there would be no space trip and they had been prepping for a long time for this mission.

Likewise, as the audience we were waiting a long time for this because it’s not until about halfway through the film that the characters even leave the Earth. I like a good setup as much as the next guy but I was expecting quicker pacing than that. The film is taking itself extremely seriously and I dare say that was a mistake. It might sound counterintuitive, but for a sci-fi film I’m going to be most interested in any issues that occur in outer space.

I think you could have cut some of the general scenes on Earth like one guy fighting with his girlfriend because she had to go to work and couldn’t make their date. He completely overreacted there by the way since he essentially admitted he would have done the same thing if his job suddenly called him in. So why should he be so upset at her for that? He barely even apologies a instead he calls her about a ring and that’s their big reconciliation scene but he needed to be more upfront on owning up to the fact that he made a mistake.

What probably makes the film feel a bit off is how there is no real antagonist here. Yeah you could say the government as a whole would fit that bill but it’s not really played out that way. Yeah the scientists are annoyed about having to work on a bomb but it’s not as if they think the government is suddenly evil. You don’t have the classic saboteur with a gun or anything like that. So the main conflict is when the characters have to find a way to safely jettison the bomb without everyone blowing up. Ultimately it is the power of science that is able to solve this issue. It’s fitting enough but not super exciting.

The film just abruptly ends when they solve the issue. I’m always up for a quick finisher but it does underscore that the characters weren’t really interesting enough to see how their stories ended. I would have liked to see if there was any blowback to the USA doing secret stuff in Britain’s experiment or if that would have just continued to be expertly covered up.

So this film will have its main appeal if you go into it expecting a slice of life. Travelling into space may not exactly be routine but it’s sort of treated that way. Everyone involved in the voyage is a professional aside from the reporter and so they’re rather relaxed about the whole journey. Kim makes sure to try and stress them out but rarely ends up succeeding. I can’t emphasize enough that if you’re looking for an exciting film you will need to look elsewhere. However, if you are looking for a calm experience then this will be up your alley.

Overall, This film ends up falling right in the middle for me. It’s not funny or thrilling enough for it to have any replay value and so I wouldn’t really be recommending it to anyone. On the other hand it doesn’t really make any mistakes and the writing is good on its own. So that’s why it ends up just being one of those films that will be forgotten in short order. Not making any mistakes is a solid start but you also have to have some individual strengths as a film to really make people want to watch it. If you’re going to do a very serious film about what it’s like to travel in space, then you have to punch up the writing a bit with extremely likable characters. Kim actually could have been that character if you just shredded the romance subplot. Have her try to sabotage the mission or just constantly making fun of everyone and then you have a solid antagonist right there.

Overall 5/10

Paradise Canyon Review

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It’s time for the last of the John Wayne films in this marathon. This one has a bit of a larger cast than usual thanks to everyone from the medicine show. It’s a pretty fun way to end things and John has a fun time trolling everyone as per usual. He is always ready for a fight and is the smartest guy around. I’d also say the film is going for even more of a comedic spin than some of the other installments

The film starts off with John being tasked with a mission to stop all the counterfeit money being produced in a nearby town. He dashes over and a medicine show will be a good cover so he helps out a group that was on the run from the sheriff. This group is not the most professional so it could be risky but John knows he will have to take some risks here. After all the villains are led by Curly Joe, one of the most dangerous outlaws out there!

One thing that will probably annoy you right from the start is how John is protecting Doc and his travelling band of scammers. Yes, it will help him get into town and keep a low profile but these guys are actually con artists. Doc apparently gets dunk so regularly that his daughter isn’t even surprised anymore. He’s apparently promised her dozens and dozens of times that he would stop and yet instead he still gets disorderly and skips out on the bill.

Yes, the characters are played for comic relief but they’re still crooks. Doc should have found another way to get into town. Even to the end Doc never ends up being a good character but he is a fun antagonist if you view him that way. He even goes out of his way to antagonize the cops once he is right outside of the state lines. Definitely not something you would respect out of a more reputable character. The pair of thieves who work as his assistants are hardly any better either.

As for Linda, she’s mainly here for the inevitable romance plot. There’s not much development there, it’s just around to tick off a few boxes. As for Curly Joe, he’s fun enough. He stands out more than some of the other western villains. The guy knows that bribery is the only chance he’s really got against John once the hero gets serious. Ultimately it’s all for naught for him but the guy was doing well with his criminal enterprise for a long while so he did still know what he was doing.

John is a fun main character even if he had to compromise on his morals for a while there in order to get things working. At the end of the day he still saved everybody and really showed the villains who was boss. Curly may not have made the best sales pitch but it was still good to see John shut him down right away and even delivered some more good one liners.

As always, one of the things that really helps make these films so much fun are all of the one liners. You can expect witty dialogue across the board throughout the films. This one is no exception as everyone is rather overconfident and of course the script is good. I definitely miss these kinds of old school films for that reason. The songs can use a little work and temporarily slow down the pacing during the show but I guess the film anted to squeeze at least one show in.

The overall soundtrack is definitely iconic to me after I’ve seen so many of these though. Then the fight scenes also aged well with the good hand to hand fights as well as a little gun action. John is always able to come out on top. The pacing is good which goes without saying since the film is under an hour long. It’s not particularly hard to move at a fast pace when that’s your runtime after all. Technically the last maybe 15-20 minutes are all for the long climax so the film has its priorities straight.

Overall, Paradise Canyon is a pretty good film. The title itself doesn’t feel like it has much to do with the film at all but I suppose they just wanted a catchy title that is easy to remember. It definitely works in that respect. There isn’t a lot for me to say to really make this stand out from the others so I would just say that if you enjoy John Wayne films then you’ll like this one as well. This movie has it all, the classic frame up job, John taking on numerous enemies, long horse chase scenes, etc. They manage to squeeze all of this into under an hour as well. Now if you don’t like the old western setting or want to see something a bit more unique, then that’s the only reason to skip this one.

Overall 7/10

Audrey Rose Review

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This is one of those films that can only happen if all of the characters are as passive as possible. They are continually not standing up to the situation and so the things deteriorate. The film tends to be on the annoying side as several characters act really crazy but nobody really does anything about it. I wouldn’t have been surprised if Bill had completely crashed out in the courtroom because to an extent it would have been justified.

The film starts off by introducing us to Bill and Janice who live a normal life with their daughter Ivy. Unfortunately a weird man has been stalking them for a while now and they quickly realize that he is mainly stalking their daughter Ivy. One day Janice is in a car crash so this man named Hoover takes the chance to meet with Ivy and then has dinner with the parents. He explains that he thinks Ivy is the reincarnated soul of his own daughter who died in a tragic car accident and so he intends to keep on meeting with Ivy. Bill says this is crazy but the cops can’t help since nobody has been hurt yet. Unfortunately Janice thinks that Hoover may be right and so Bill will not have to find a way to stop Hoover while also watching out for his own wife.

Janice is easily the most annoying character here because of how quick she was to believe Hoover. He starts talking crazy for a few minutes and she immediately thinks that he may be on to something. We learn that Ivy has had crazy episodes on her birthday for a long time now and this would track with the date that Hoover’s daughter died but that’s still a rather big stretch to go through here. Janice immediately ignores how weird it was to have Hoover following her for so long and even invites him up to her apartment to help Ivy through one of the episodes.

Hoover is able to help Ivy each time but this feels like an awful big chance considering his intentions. Also just letting a crazy guy into your house is basically asking for trouble. Then even after Hoover kidnaps Ivy to go to his place, Janice is quick to side with him here. She completely betrays Bill in court and does seem willing to let Hoover keep the kid. She really closed off any chance for her and Bill to come to terms here. They were just way too far apart and she gave up her kid too quickly.

Janice is panicking for most of the film so she doesn’t always make a lot of sense but she made all of the mistakes possible. I’d also say that Ivy looks pretty bad here since she is soundly defeated by the spirit of the other girl. She seems to have no mental defenses here as she crawls into fire and burns herself at several points just because the other girl forced her to. Can Ivy not fight on her own? I get that in these possession type of films that always tends to be the case but it can be annoying. In this film the opponent is another girl who was around the same age. This should not be as hard as usual.

As for Hoover, well the guy seems nutty from the start. He drank the Kool-Aid real fast and then didn’t choose the best way to make an impression on the family. In this film the whole reincarnation thing appears to be true so then he should have found a better way to break the news. The way he did it would make anyone think he was insane. Honestly the best way to get close would be to own a nearby business or become a teacher but that isn’t as easy as it looks. So in that case, rent a nearby room and try to be a good neighbor. Or just meet up with the family and talk rather than stalking. It would have been hard to have made a worst first impression.

As for Bill, he definitely doesn’t plan to be very agreeable right from the start of the film but I don’t blame him. This is his daughter we’re talking about and Hoover effectively wants to take her away or be a second parent. No way he could let that fly. Hoover also continually refers to Ivy as Janice’s daughter as well as his and leaves Bill out of this. Unfortunately Bill isn’t very strong and easily loses to Hoover in every confrontation.

It was not a good look there and it was also crazy that Bill forgot his own apartment has a back entrance that is unlocked. I know it was a tense moment but how do you forget that? I was definitely rooting for Bill in the court case. Yeah a lot of weird stuff was going on and perhaps Bill could have handled some things better but on the whole he was doing what he could. He was prioritizing his daughter which is the only choice that makes sense in this situation.

The film doesn’t even have a satisfying ending so that definitely ensured that this was not going to be a very positive film. You’ve got a mostly annoying cast of characters with a kid who has absolutely no idea what was going on and then you couldn’t even stick the landing. This is definitely not a film that will stand the test of time as I would say it hasn’t even aged well up to this point. It’s not particularly scary either, just more on the annoying side.

Overall, This is a film that I would recommend skipping. On the whole I’ve never been all into possession films and this one is no exception. Not even the courtroom scene could save it, although I was glad that it was there. It was nice to see the rest of the world a bit although I would have liked to have seen what the jury made of all this. I like to think that they all thought Hoover was super crazy but Janice turning sides would have definitely hurt the situation quite a bit. It would have all been more interesting than the main plot. A good ending could have at least helped things out but ultimately there was to be no saving grace for this film.

Overall 3/10

And Soon The Darkness Review

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It’s time for a film that really reminds you to follow common sense and to be careful when travelling in a strange land. There are all kinds of things that can go wrong when you’re in unfamiliar territory after all and that becomes apparent very quickly. Unfortunately the film is going to rather extreme methods to point this out and the film quickly ends up going for the low hanging fruit here. Certainly one relying on cheap tension to keep you at the edge of your seat and so that’s not going to be a winning strategy.

The movie starts by introducing us to Jane and Cathy who are biking across France. They don’t really speak much French but this seemed like a fun way to spend the holidays. Unfortunately Cathy wants to take a break in the middle of nowhere and the two were already off the beaten path. Jane points out what a terrible idea this is as it will be dark out pretty soon but Cathy doesn’t care and goes back to sleep. Jane is forced to go on without her and sure enough, Cathy vanishes and is presumed dead. Jane doesn’t want to give up on her but night is approaching soon and a mysterious guy keeps on following her. This feels like trouble.

I am going to blame Cathy for a lot of this right from the start because she was being completely unreasonable. You can’t just decide to go to sleep when the place is already dangerous. That doesn’t make any sense and she resists all of Jane’s efforts to make her get up. So when Jane eventually leaves I could not blame her because staying there would have just resulted in both of them being dead. Yeah leaving your friend is always rough but it’s not like Jane could physically force her to get up. That would be an even fight at best and then you have to drive both of them with the bikes.

Cathy also didn’t seem to have much of a sense for danger with how she was encouraging the weird stalker throughout the opening. You probably want to be keeping your distance at that point instead of thinking about how cool he looked. So yeah she played every part of this as badly as possible and definitely made Jane’s life a whole lot harder.

As for Jane, she was a good friend the whole time. She went out of her way to try and help Cathy by taking a lot of risks and doubling back to find her. Jane would have been all the way to safety immediately if she hadn’t had to go back. Jane also studied so she knows at least a little bit of French which helps out. It may not be enough to speak the language but she can tell when a translator is lying about what is going on at least. Ultimately she was much sharper about her surroundings and wouldn’t make anything easy for the villain.

As for the mysterious guy, Paul, well he definitely does a terrible job of trying to look normal. He tends to be very quiet for large parts of the film and when he speaks it is always to say something that just makes him look more suspicious. I can’t forget how he asked Jane if she wanted to search deep in the woods with him during their first real conversation. That’s something only a possible serial killer would say right? Throughout the film we learn about how he’s lying to her on several occasions and in the past another woman was murdered around this spot.

The film very much enjoys its misdirects and twists but does so in a very low effort way. Basically it makes people act very suspiciously and in ways that do not make sense in order to help trick the audience. So it’s basically cheating by that point and will have you shaking your head. There is a very small cast here so you’ll probably see through it pretty quickly but it doesn’t help make the experience any better.

Meanwhile of course the film would immediately not be satisfied with just murdering the heroes and so the threat is very quickly escalated into being more than that. So now as the audience you have to hope that even if Jean dies, at least it’s quick because the motive for the villain is going to be rough. It’s what I would call cheap tension here. The film isn’t confident that it can actually make you nervous on the basis of the writing or characters so it has to add on extra elements.

The villain gets away with a bit too much here and I definitely wouldn’t have minded missing out on the details. Even the climax of the film has to go on with this rather than just having a quick fight. Yeah this movie was definitely doomed and it’s a very dreary affair. There aren’t many lighthearted moments ere at all and the film’s pacing isn’t always great. They don’t translate any of the dialogue in order to help you experience how lost the main heroine is. I understand the goal here narratively but it also means there are just more scenes that are effectively gibberish.

The film will also probably hit harder for people who have ever been tempted to do something like this. Biking across the country as a way to explore the unknown does not interest me in the slightest. It’s not something I would ever want to do and even if it was guaranteed to be safe, it’s just not my cup of tea.

Overall, This is one of those films that definitely feels rather mean spirited. It’s definitely collecting all the things that can go wrong if you wander into the wrong area but you don’t really need a whole film about that. A simple disappearance or getting lost in an unknown territory could make for a good suspense film. Once you add in the threats of being assaulted by creeps and other elements like that, then it just feels like one of those cheap thrillers you might come across on TV. It’s not a film that is seriously trying to impress you with a good message or anything like that. I would definitely say to avoid this one as much as possible.

Overall 1/10

Fire Emblem Shadows Review

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I finally got around to trying out the new Fire Emblem game that Nintendo launched for mobile. On one hand I applaud them for finally bringing a new mobile title into the fray. It feels like it has certainly been a while. On the other hand….did they really have to force in more gimmicks? This would have been such a fun title if it was traditional Fire Emblem and instead they try to make it like Among Us and it doesn’t really work with this style. Ultimately this one won’t be a keeper for me.

The general story is pretty par for the course when it comes to Fire Emblem. A kingdom is overthrown and so the prince has to escape along with his trusty bodyguard. He meets up with two girls who seem nice enough, but then they find out that one of the 4 of them is an imposter. Who can it be? Well, the first time it’s the chipper girl with red hair, the next time it’s the other girl with black hair, and then it’s the main character! The last one ends up being a dream though and now you’re back to a full party. The prince needs to gather a lot of powerful allies and then bring his kingdom back to power. Can he pull this off?

To be clear, while the plot is rather straight forward, I still enjoyed it. Mainly due to the character designs being nice and colorful and the game having good presentation. The audio is good, the soundtrack is solid, and the writing is on point. So the story isn’t the problem here, its the gameplay. Think of this as a semi auto tactical game. The characters move on their own and attack on their own. You control the special abilities like healing and energy blasts. In any matchup there are 3 heroes, only one of those 3 is actually a villain.

If you’re playing as the hero, you want to hurry up and beat the enemies and then afterwards there is a guessing round to see who the villain is. So you’ve got a 50/50 shot no matter what. If you guess right, you gain 1 auto revive for when the battle with the traitor starts. Then if you win that battle, you win. The immediate problem here is that the deck is stacked in favor of the traitor. The traitor can destroy you with around 2 moves as soon as the battle begins.

All attacks are anonymous but you can probably guess who the traitor is based on who isn’t hit right? Wrong! The main strategy is for the traitor to knock everyone out, then there is no way to tell who it was. Then in the second round, you can get a revive but it won’t stack since you just died. So you will die to the traitor anyway. I’m told that as you progress through the game you will get power ups and armor that prevent the game from being so one sided but the gameplay design itself feels flawed to me.

On one hand, I like how quick the rounds are. You can play a few rounds very quickly. On the other hand, it’s just too automated for me. I’d rather move the character myself and then set up the traps as I go. Having the system do the movement for me just takes away the fun out of a whole chunk here. It’s just barely Fire Emblem at that point. Nintendo really can’t resist going along with gimmicks here and unfortunately it did not land. I feel like Nintendo has been missing a whole lot more than usual lately.

Outside of the gameplay, the title is really strong in the other areas. It just doesn’t matter enough because at the end of the day, you’re here for the gameplay right? That will always be the most important part of a gaming experience after all because without that, you won’t be able to continue. In very extreme circumstances the story might be so good you can force your way through bad gameplay but that is exceptionally rare. The flip side of that is certainly way more common.

Overall, Fire Emblem Shadows is certainly a fresh experiment by Nintendo and I wish it the best but this game is just not for me. Sometimes you can tell right away if the game fits your style and the opposite is true as well. I feel like the series is big enough where I can see this one being really successful so maybe they can use some of the revenue to make a movie r something. It’s long past due for Fire Emblem to really get more kinds of media. The game is free on the app store so you should probably give it a shot. It certainly can’t hurt and maybe you’ll like it more than I did.

Overall 4/10