Tag Archives: Film Review

The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock Review

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It’s time for a parody of a film that I wasn’t a big fan of. Fortunately this one blows the original out of the water. I’m not going to say that it’s a great film or anything but it’s fun enough and worth a few laughs. Ultimately I would say that it is solid and a film that you don’t want to forget because of how absurd the whole thing is.

The film starts off by introducing us to Rossiter who is running for governor. This guy knows that he is the best man for the job and is eager to do whatever it takes to win. The only real obstacle in his path is the garbage disposal man, Artie. Artie is someone who has resisted Rossiter’s total ownership of the town. This man owns all of the businesses except for Artie’s. The worst part is that his niece Emmy is dating Artie which Rossiter fears will lower his own social reputation. Well Artie manages along just fine until Emmy grows huge one day. Now her appetite is fierce and she desperately needs to consume more and more calories. Can he really handle her at this point or is it game over for Artie?

Artie is one of those guys who isn’t very smart and so he rarely notices when someone’s insulting him. He tends to be getting dominated throughout the film with a variety of insults but at least his spirits never go low because he takes it all in stride. The guy is really carefree in a lot of ways and that’s nice because it really means that he can always make a comeback. Through misunderstandings and absurd events going on he manages to usually get some victories too like Rossiter allowing him to marry Emmy.

Artie’s ultimately not one of the most likable characters though because of this. Not being very smart tends to hurt when it’s to an exaggerated degree. He did somehow create a robot capable of moving through time and space while bending reality though so he does have some skills. It does lead to a fairly interesting climax with a lot going on though. If you thought the first half was crazy, well the second half definitely escalates this quite a bit. Trust me the film was not holding back at all.

Emmy doesn’t look as good here though because she tends to be unreasonable once she’s a giant. Now you could say that a side effect of turning giant is that it’s destroying her reasoning skills and that’s certainly possible but I’m not sure that I’m giving her that out yet. The film doesn’t really go into that and so in the end it can make her look a little petty. She causes a ton of collateral damage when throwing the trees around and ultimately takes her vengeance a little too far. Honestly people could have died after all of the rampaging. Also the town did pretty well to get her the jumbo food and drink considering that this was a situation nobody had seen before.

Finally I did enjoy Rossiter’s character quite a bit. Yeah the guy’s as selfish and uncaring as can be but that’s part of his charm. He’s the guy who would run you over to save 50 cents if he needed too. All he cares about is himself and he’s not afraid to flaunt that. He has a ton of close calls while on camera but always manages to play them off which shows how resourceful he is. I actually think he could do a pretty good job all things considered. Yeah he’s not someone you could ever trust because of how two faced he is, but by all accounts he’s run the town really well.

Throughout the film everyone seems really happy and they all get along. So wouldn’t you say that Rossiter should take most of the credit for that since he owns every business? He also seems to get along with just about everyone aside from the main character which is pretty impressive. This guy has good people skills to be sure and the film establishes him well. Considering the short runtime each character has a very well defined personality right out of the gate.

The writing is really solid and the humor is on point here. Of course you really need to enjoy this humor style. I’d still consider it slapstick even if the main guy isn’t getting knocked around too much because he does get grabbed a few times. You just know he would have been slugged if there weren’t witnesses around. He definitely needs to be careful because Rossiter is not the kind of guy who will give up. You easily could have done sequels to this movie if all of the actors had still been around because there’s a whole lot of potential around the setup.

The best gag was probably when the machine started explaining how the wedding would have to wait and then it went farther to start yelling that there would be no wedding. Of course it was just another glitch but the timing was just perfect for trolling the main two. It’s clear that the robot still has a lot of errors to iron out but at least it come through when it counts. You can’t really ask for much more than that.

Overall, This is a fun film like I said before. I don’t think you’ll find it super memorable so eventually this will fade away but it’s short and never drags on. The characters have some nice back and forth banter the whole time as well which is always good. The writing did a good job here and so mixing that in with the effective humor makes the film a winner as well. It’s probably a rare case of a good film that would have been worse if it was too long because then it would drag on but that doesn’t happen here. A good movie knows when to end and I did enjoy the final scene here as a nice gag to end things off.

Overall 6/10

Bloodsport Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a big tournament epic! Bloodsport is a film I can’t say I was too familiar with even though it’s a whole series. After watching it I can definitely see the appeal though as I always enjoy a big tournament like this. Now the story beats may be overly predictable to a dramatic degree as the film really telegraphs every moment but even with that it’s executed well.

The film starts off by introducing us to Frank. He used to get into a lot of trouble but eventually he was taken in by a nice man and learned the ways of the martial arts although mostly it was second hand as he wasn’t taught directly. The guy’s real son was the one who was meant to be the champion but unfortunately he ended up dying early. Frank figures it is up to him to achieve the dream of winning the ultimate tournament now and so he gets some training in and then heads over there. This tournament is a huge deal so fighters from around the globe will be participating. It’s all done under the books as this tournament isn’t exactly official. Now why would you enter a tournament where you could die? For some it’s a matter of honor and for others it’s the money. Either way it’s the opportunity of a lifetime!

So yeah it’s very much a Mortal Kombat setup right from the start here. There are a ton of battles and that’s one thing I really liked about this film. A lot of times in these martial art titles there can be a lot of deadtime before you get to the tournament. The training is important too of course but I want to see the matches. This has to be one of the longest tournaments that I’ve seen in a long while and trust me when I say that this is a very good thing. We see all kinds of opponents so you are reminded that this isn’t just a small battle with the main character and a bunch of throwaways.

A small detail I appreciated here is that most of the opponents put up a fight. For example in your average film the main villain will sleepwalk his way to the grand finals. Instead Li actually has a tough go of it at least for a little bit against several of these opponent. His victory is never in doubt but I’m glad that they at least landed shots. It feels a little unrealistically when the villain just steamrolls everyone no matter how good he is. These are all professional fighters after all.

Each fighter also has a different fighting style. You really get to see a lot of variety here and all of the fights are really intense. We’re talking kickboxers, sumo style, aggressive hands, jumping around, etc. It works really well as a solid blend to keep each match really interesting. You also get to recognize the characters as they go through the rounds. So yes this tournament was handled excellently with the bracket and actually making every fight feel real.

The pacing is on point as well and Frank makes for a good main character. He is confident in his abilities and really does well in battle. I also appreciate how confident he is, Frank knows that he is a good fighter after all. My only complaint is when he didn’t step in as a guy was harassing a girl on the bus. Feels like most main characters would have stepped in there. It was also a bit of a bizarre intro to Ray’s character as he’s meant to be the likable sidekick after the opening scene.

He brags a ton and the more he brags the more you know his ending is going to be painful. Even so you’re meant to like the guy so the opening scene just doesn’t work. I’ll also say I think the film overdid it with all the bragging in the final round. Cmon I don’t care how overconfident the guy is, he knows exactly who he is fighting. You don’t just turn your back like that for so long. The scene is so exaggerated that it would be funny except you knew that a lot of pain was coming up.

This film definitely does go all in on the finishing blows which is another thing that will feel like Mortal Kombat. The fights with Li always end with a final blow where it feels like a 50/50 on if you’ll die or not. He holds nothing back and the tournament isn’t going to eject him for it so he keeps escalating. He has murdered someone more than once after all. The tournament’s moment of silence definitely didn’t make sense with how callous they were the whole time. It’s also a completely empty gesture considering they aren’t going to disqualify him either way.

Li’s definitely a bad guy through and through however he makes for a great final boss. You do want a powerful opponent like that at the end and the final fight has a lot of good back and forth. Li does have to cheat so it does show right away who’s better but the final fight is really on point the whole time. It’s also a little less exaggerated of a comeback than Kickboxer so you can buy into the eyes closed fighting a bit more. Ultimately it makes for a fun climax.

Now I did still have some issues with the film. First off is the romance subplot with the reporter Janice. She can be pretty annoying the whole time. So at first she wants to get into the tournament and is doing whatever she can to make this plan work. Then once Janice gets in she starts to think that the violence is too much and gets angry at Frank. I never like this kind of plot because everybody told her to stay away but she insisted that she could handle it…and then she couldn’t. Cmon…that’s just bad.

Additionally the romance is really abrupt and comes out of nowhere. Given that it’s not even going to continue, it just feels like a waste where we could have had more fights instead. Frank also needed to give the tournament his full concentration so the fact that he was almost late to a match because of that was rough. The other time was because of the army so I can cut him a little slack there.

Also the government plot could have been cut out. I suppose it helps to explain why Frank is so powerful and well conditioned but you could have easily established that with his origin. The plot just doesn’t add anything to the film except for a slight obstacle that isn’t taken very seriously anyway. The fact that they were ready to knock him out is crazy. It gives us some decent humor scenes but eh the film would have been okay either way.

Overall, Bloodsport is a pretty solid film. It has a nice sense of humor and a pretty good cast of characters. You should be warned that the film can definitely be quite violent, particularly with the finishing blows. In some cases it’s not even the blow itself that is so intense, but the build up to it because you always know what’s about to happen. Still the fight choreography is really on point and for the most part the film is careful not to overdo it the way that Kickboxer did. Yeah this is one I could safely recommend.

Overall 6/10

Out of the Fog Review

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It’s time for one of those movies where 90% of it wouldn’t happen if the characters would just talk to each other. Unfortunately everyone’s rather tightlipped here which leads to the villain getting away with a whole lot. At least it should serve as a cautionary tale that sometimes you need a little help to deal with a villain and that’s okay.

The movie starts with Olaf and Jonah enjoying their fishing as per usual. It’s their main hobby as a way to take a break from their day jobs and it’s been a long standing position. Well one day a guy named Harold shows up and basically he’s a criminal who blackmails people into giving them money. He says that if the heroes don’t give him money then he’s going to break their boat and beat them up. If they continue to resist then he will ultimately destroy them. Jonah is completely against this while Olaf believes they should just pay the money. meanwhile Harold starts dating Jonah’s daughter and Jonah doesn’t have the heart to tell her what a bad man he is. will they be okay?

There’s a lot of issues here of course but the biggest one is not telling Stella about Harold from the beginning. As soon as Jonah found out he should have told her so she could hopefully break this off and then he could make a move. Instead he stays silent about the whole thing even after Harold comes over one day and beats Jonah up for lying about the money. It’s just a really crummy situation all around. I appreciate Jonah standing up for himself for a bit but he really needed to take that a step further.

Get the cops involved, let Stella know, make this a really big deal as needed. Jonah is well known in the area so he would have a lot of support. Yes Harold is dangerous but the longer you let him dictate the terms of engagement the worse it’s going to be in the end. Olaf is a lot more passive so I don’t agree with him in just paying the toll. The toll is simply going to get more and more expensive which is why in general you’re never supposed to give a blackmailer what they want. It will just never end so while it’s going to be dangerous you have to do something about it.

Olaf and Jonah ultimately come up with a plan to murder Harold which is good but they do fumble a bit when they aren’t able to go through with it. Fortunately luck is on their side and it works out but they easily could have died there. When you make an attempt to murder someone but then stop halfway, that’s usually going to end very poorly. Trust me that’s the worst way to go.

As the main villain Harold is pretty annoying here. He’s your general blackmailer so nothing special there but he just keeps getting wins here due to the heroes not coordinating properly. The fact that he’s persistent with Stella until she agrees to go out with him is awful. Then he’s basically rubbing it in Jonah’s face while the guy doesn’t say anything. Yeah he needed to go down a whole lot sooner.

Stella is unfortunately an awful character as well. So you know how I was upset with Jonah for not telling her the truth about Harold from the jump right? Well later on he finally manages to tell her that he blackmails people and she basically just says that everyone has to make a living somehow. She’s completely fine with this guy being a crook as long as it means she gets to travel and live a rich lifestyle. It’s a really big hit against her character because it shows how she is really lacking a moral compass. She will do whatever she needs to in order to move forward.

Yes this includes betraying George, the guy who’s been with her for a while. Yeah their relationship wasn’t exactly official all the way through. I guess you could say she was keeping him around until she found something better but it’s a pretty rough deal for him. He even tries to fight Harold but unfortunately gets folded immediately. This guy just needs to forget about Stella because she really doesn’t seem worth it.

The worst part is that the fishing hobby will never be quite as relaxing as it once was. Now the two main characters will always be on the lookout a bit wondering if someone else is going to try to appear and pull a fast one on them. Additionally it’s not like the relationship with Jonah and his daughter will ever be the same since she basically chose a random stranger over trusting in his advice. That’s a really tough blow and so the fallout from this film will likely be rather large.

The writing is good though. As you’ve come to expect from these old titles, the script is on point and the pacing is good. The film doesn’t drag on or anything like that even if you may be grimacing at some points. At its core this also feels like a situation that can and probably has happened to people before. So make sure you have your proper takeaways from the film on what not to do and how you could avoid this outcome.

Overall, Out of the Fog is a movie that has some pretty interesting storylines but the whole thing just comes across as annoying. Harold should have been stopped a whole lot sooner than he was if the characters had actually been paying attention here. Just bring in the cops and end this real fast. Instead they have to suffer for quite a while until they finally manage to take this guy down with a little luck. If the characters had acted better it all would have been over a lot quicker. I’d say you could do better in the Noir genre.

Overall 4/10

Justice League x RWBY: Super Heroes and Huntsmen, Part Two Review

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RWBY has returned!! It’s always good to see more RWBY content and you really have to savor this one while you can because we still don’t know when the next product is coming out. It could be years but hopefully not. Interestingly this film takes place after volume 9 which was a very interesting decision. I was definitely shocked when I first found this out but now at least if we don’t get Volume 10 we have some extra insight into what’s going on. This is a must watch for all RWBY fans as a result.

The movie starts with the Justice League waking up after the simulation in the first film and they’re ready to take care of business now. Unfortunately while they were gone the world has been overtaken by the Grimm. The Justice League may be powerful but they aren’t ready to take on the powerful legions of Grimm. Their only option is to call in Team RWBY once more. Can even the experts take down the Grimm army or is the world too far gone here?

I’d actually say that this film beats part 1 for me. I feel like this movie had more variety in the battles and also the fact that it takes place in the present really ups the tension. It was great seeing what Team RWBY was doing after the V9 events.. Note that there aren’t too many spoilers for volume 9 if you watch this one. I’d say one pretty big spoiler involving a big development in volume 9 if you somehow managed to avoid the social media trends and one other big spoiler just involving where the team is in the present. Both are things you could have guessed though so it’s not a huge thing but either way you should have seen Volume 9 by this point right?

I wish we could have spent more time in the RWBY world here though because the fight there is the best one in the film by far. Seeing Ruby take on two of the giant Grimm snakes with ease using her master level speed and athletics was great. It’s definitely clear that she is the most powerful member of Team RWBY at this point and her confidence is at an all time high. She’s really taking care of business here and is completely self assured as the leader. There’s a subplot here about her possibly being too confident…and naturally I disagreed with that. I thought her level of confidence was great and inspiring. Plus she has the power to back it up so it’s not like its empty bravado.

If there’s just one thing I’m not crazy about with this taking place after volume 9 is I’m not sure that the status quo makes any sense. I feel like there would be a much greater sense of urgency going on. In theory Salem should be dashing over any minute now with her forces to end the world right? How about finding Mercury and friends? Now this could take place midway through volume 9 after the initial fights and there are a lot of ways that you could explain this so it’s not a negative per say but I’m a little skeptical is all. Particularly with the team just jumping over to DC world when their allies are in such danger.

The film addresses the time difference which makes this even worse. So last time the film took place during volume 7 and for the Justice League this happens minutes later. So how did we jump to Volume 9? Well Flash points out that time moves differently here so a few days in Justice League time is a few weeks in RWBY time. So when team RWBY jumps over to help the League for around 2 days (Because they did have to rest for one night before the climax) around 2 weeks would have passed in RWBY world at which point the rest of the resistance may have fallen. It’s also a little funny how the League asks RWBY if they need any help and they’re just like “nah”. I guess they either figure the Justice League will hold them back in the fight against Salem or they just figure they can win regardless. Either way it’s not the biggest vote of confidence for them.

Okay these are all things around the movie but lets talk about the story itself. It’s a pretty fun story that is part mystery as the characters wonder who is the mastermind from the RWBY side. It was fun to see the main villain of the video game Grimm Eclipse get references and even get a whole new illustration. That guy always did seem like an interesting character in the mythos but since a lot of people never played the game I’m guessing the character was probably a big question mark for a lot of viewers. The answer of who the main villain is was pretty satisfying.

The film uses some voice filters for the two main villains for a while and admittedly they were a bit annoying since it was super hard to understand them. Fortunately that ended up being fixed as the film went on which was good. Hearing those voices the whole film would have really been rough. Unfortunately we don’t get a proper fight against the mastermind but Killgore shows up and we get some satisfying fights with him.

In general I feel like the fights were better around the board here than in part 1. It felt more like the classic RWBY fights with the high speed takedowns. I also think the animators got to flex a lot more with the classic designs so maybe there was some trouble getting into the new ones. The fights are noticeably better when Team RWBY are in their classic designs as opposed to their re-designs in Justice League world. I do tend to prefer all of the classic designs as well but Ruby and Weiss look good in their superhero modes. I wasn’t big on Yang or Blake there.

Naturally the Justice League all look a lot better here since I didn’t really like any of their designs in the RWBY world. Also Batman is much more improved here as he actually feels like a detective mastermind this time around. That’s the kind of character development you love to see. He still does end up going down rather quickly which hurts the prep time part but at least the villains acknowledge that he was the greatest threat from the heroes so he had to be taken down.

Superman mainly gets clowned on the whole film as every single Grimm seems to have Kryptonite at the ready. It’s the rough part about having such an easily accessible weakness. Once you’re up against villains with it then this is game over. The Flash is mostly getting wrecked by his confidence issues in this film so don’t expect him to be doing a whole lot here either. It’s a really bad appearance for him here. Cyborg mostly gets styled on the whole time as he’s outhacked but at least by the end he gets his moment.

Wonder Woman, Vixen, and Black Canary are mainly consistent as they go about their business and take care of Grimm although the most satisfying moment was when Wonder Woman throws a punch but Yang catches it and physically overpowers her. Yang is absolutely crushing Wonder Woman in a 1 v 1 and the film seemed to get the drift here. I’d argue the Justice League don’t look very impressive at all here and mainly had to get saved by Team RWBY a whole lot. Works for me of course since those heroines are great.

This also has to be one of Ruby’s best portrayals which is great since of course she hit a rough patch in Volume 9. Here we see her making plans, using quick attack combos, and she was the first to figure out her powers in this new world. All Ruby fans should be particularly pleased at her top level performance here.

The soundtrack doesn’t have any of those iconic vocal songs from the RWBY series. I guess since it’s a crossover they kept the music more generic and non memorable for the Justice League side of things but it would have been cool to have had a big theme for the climax. It’s always a bit odd how the movies just don’t seem to be able to keep up in terms of action or visuals with the RWBY TV show but if you had to allocate more budget one way or the other of course it’s worth it to throw that at volume 9.

Either way this film is a blast and I was really satisfied with what we got. If needed we can always end the franchise with a movie rather than volume 10 so we at least wrap things up. I definitely think you could pull it off. Sure it would be rushed because of how many plots there are but I definitely don’t think that it would be impossible. Just have Salem show up, we get a bunch of nonstop fights and when the gods are summoned they get solo’d by Ruby. Then that’s the ultimate game over and the conclusion to the greatest series of all time.

Overall, This is definitely a film that you want to check out as soon as possible. The whole first part is quickly recapped here so you don’t even need to watch that one and can jump right into this part without any issue. That said, I would recommend watching both of course to get those extra RWBY sales and speed up the production of volume 10. We need that in order to keep on moving forward. And if you somehow haven’t watched RWBY yet and are coming in from the Justice League side, get ready for the greatest show to binge of all time!

Overall 8/10

Burn The Witch Review

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It’s time to take a look at the Burn The Witch movie. The way this series came out was pretty interesting with the movie jumping you right in the middle of the setting. More than most titles I would say this one could have you scratching your head a bit if you’re not familiar with the series although I always appreciate the boldness there. With context clues you’ll be okay even if the whole thing just feels a bit random. Unfortunately the character cast is still rather weak like in the manga.

The film starts with Ninny upset about something and giving the reporters the perfect soundbite to cause more controversies. She loses them with a solar flare camera and dives into the world of monsters. See in this world there is London and then there is Reverse London which basically exists in a parallel dimension. In Reverse London there are witches everywhere and there are also dragons. So it’s generally a pretty fun place to be although its more dangerous. She works alongside her partner Noel in defeating monsters and getting points. The more points you get the more career opportunities and money you can earn. Due to events in the past they have to babysit a human named Balgo who ended up getting a pet dragon of his own and is not supposed to be going to the real world too often anymore. (He ignores that of course and ends up spreading the contamination)

The main dilemma in this film is Ninny’s old possessive teammate Macy shows up to cause some trouble. She has been raising a dragon of her own known as Elly who is one of the most powerful dragons in existence. Additionally the government has decided to murder Balgo basically because they can so the girls have to protect him while they save the world. Can they pull this off? Additionally if they succeed then there goes their paychecks since the government is certainly not going to want to pay people who have just betrayed them.

So there is a whole lot going on and the film is barely an hour. Because of that the pacing is lightning quick to be sure but at times the film can feel a little unfocused. Like it’s not really sure which plot to go with next. You’re also left with a whole lot of questions. Balgo is a normal human who is often by himself, why not pick one of the endless chances to grab him alone and murder him then? Why is he allowed to go to the human world at all when he’s on a watchlist? How weak are Bruno and the other gov execs that they have trouble against two rookie level fighters? How are they allowed to actually let a human raise a dangerous dragon in reverse London without anyone picking it up on the sensors?

I don’t feel like very much thought was put into the film’s story at all. It feels like the world building is incredibly shaky at best. Even more so once we get a certain plot twist of where the film takes place. It’s pretty much an open secret at this point since everyone knows about it but just in case I won’t say anything. The main point is that I do think the film could have tried harder to make this plot be logical. Instead it just feels like you’re supposed to watch this film half asleep.

What really hurts are the characters though because they’re generally very weak. Lets start with Balgo who is easily the worst character. He’s completely obsessed with Noel to the point where he is constantly flirting over and over again. He’s cool with her insulting him as needed and just overlooks that. Suddenly by the end it’s hinted that she actually does like him? I get the whole tsundere thing but the problem is that there is no actual reason to like Balgo. He’s always being perverted, is generally useless in a fight, and has displayed no positive qualities. How she would fall for him is a complete mystery at this point. The ending to the film is definitely brutal.

As for Noel, I suppose she’s okay but even then I wouldn’t call her a very good character. Part of the problem is that she’s your classic tough character who tends to be sarcastic and emotionless as she does her duty. To pull off that character type you need a ton of witty dialogue which she doesn’t have. Additionally she doesn’t have the raw power needed to back up her quiet confidence.

Then you have Ninny who is at least a step up. She’s very aggressive and always looking for a fight so she can get a promotion. The problem? Once again she is fairly weak and actually has to get saved by Noel a few times. I don’t know how she thinks she will be hired as one of the top fighters when she is having trouble with random monsters. That just doesn’t look like a great sales pitch on paper. At least she is a celebrity in the real world so she will always be doing fine with money but it’s hard to see her keeping up both acts. She will eventually need to choose one side most likely.

The best character by far is Billy. He’s got a lot of skill but is officially out of the game at this point so he tries to hide it. The main heroines give him a tough time but he keeps his cool and still does his best to help out. He’s a solid character through and through. His role is small but very memorable. Then you have Bruno (Is it just me or all of the guys start with the letter B? Bruno, Balgo, Billy, etc.) who is solid but a bit weaker than he should be. He’s one of the members of this big secret council and he talks an incredibly big game. Yet when the going gets tough he isn’t really able to win a single fight. Sure we know he’s stronger than Ninny and Noel but they lose him rather easily and by the time he catches up he gets wrecked by Elly.

The guy panics as if he has never been in a fight before. I’d just expect a whole lot more from him and his 180 on what to do with Balgo felt a bit cheesy. This guy doesn’t seem as determined or focused as he should be given his position. Then there’s Macy who is pretty insane. She’s cool with blowing up buildings and such to get to Ninny but she’s also completely insane since she figures this somehow won’t turn her away. Is she serious about this? It seems to me that Macy and Ninny would get along just fine if Macy wasn’t doing crazy things like this. Unfortunately these possessive type characters all seem to have a few screws loose so I wouldn’t expect her to change any time soon.

Finally there’s the dragon Elly and you actually feel bad for her here. At first she was just protecting Macy and this gradually kept on escalating since Macy would always thank Elly for the help. So to Elly there was nothing wrong with blowing everyone up. She temporarily loses control later on and the heroes all try to destroy Elly. Macy halfheartedly tries to defend her but gives up after one shot. Even once Balgo activates his bankai type ability and calms Elly down it seems like the dragon is fine but gets hit with a sneak attack. The whole thing just made Macy look worse for not being more broken up about the whole thing and the rest of the heroes don’t seem too reasonable with how they just finished it off like that.

Who knows maybe that will be a plot point for the future, we’ll have to see. The animation’s fairly decent. Not even close to some of the more high budget products but it’s okay. It definitely doesn’t feel like the true movie budget went behind this one and considering how short the film is you’d think it would be easier to make it all look great. The soundtrack is also more on the okay side. The tunes don’t really pop out at you.

Overall, Burn The Witch is an interesting film but one that needed to stay on the drawing board for a longer period of time. The characters simply aren’t that interesting and that ends up extending to the film as a whole. It’s not a bad film by any means but the fact that it’s so unfocused and messy just doesn’t help matters. There isn’t a whole lot of reason to watch this one when you can just go back to Bleach instead or watch Little Witch Academia if you want to see something higher quality on the subject. I’d say this is maybe a bit better than the Burn the Witch manga but it’s still not saying much for now. Hopefully the franchise is able to bounce back.

Overall 5/10

Stagecoach Review

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It’s time for a film about a bunch of people all stuck together on a stagecoach. It makes for a pretty interesting film even if some of the characters sure can be annoying. It’s intentional though and you get to see everyone’s true colors this way. I wouldn’t say there is a ton of action but we do get an exciting climax with some gun slinging action. Ultimately I don’t see this one being too memorable next to other titles but it’s good enough.

The movie starts with a few people getting onto a stage coach and they pick up some extra passengers along the way. One of them is a very infamous shooter named Ringo who is a wanted man. Some of the passengers don’t feel safe with him here but now they’re all heading the same way. They temporarily stop at a hut to get supplies and regroup but they lose time when one of the passengers begins to give birth. Indians and Bandits are quickly approaching and the army base isn’t nearby. Can these strangers find a way to unite and fight against these odds or are they completely doomed?

There’s definitely a lot of pettyness going on among the crew which makes it hard for them to unite. First up we have Dallas who is treated poorly by some of the other characters (Hatfield in particular) as she is a lady of the night and it’s not a profession that the characters hold in high regard. The only one who mainly defends her is Ringo who doesn’t really know or care about her past. He’s an outlaw and his values are also a bit different but he also knows it’s just plain silly to be making such a big fuss about this.

Look, it’s definitely a bad job to have but Dallas may have been forced into that business or there could be all kinds of explanations. The characters shouldn’t be so quick to condemn her and also it’s not really the time or place for this. Their being petty isn’t helping anyone. Dallas tries her best anyway like staying up the whole time the baby is being born to help as much as she can. In general she doesn’t complain or anything and is one of the most polite passengers.

As for Ringo, he may be a crook but he seems like the nicest guy on the coach. It’s definitely ironic when something like that happens. He’s an easy character to root for as a result especially compared to the others. It’s also helpful to have someone on your side who actually knows how to fight since the characters know that a fight is coming up and they won’t be able to avoid it. Without him they would all definitely be doomed.

Then we have Hatfield who is likely the worst character here. He crosses the line from being a nice guy into a “nice guy”. He constantly puts Dallas down while trying to show his complete servitude to Mrs. Mallory. The guy just never felt genuine in the slightest and naturally his idea when the going got tough was to shoot her as a “mercy” before the villains finished them off. That’s not the kind of mercy most of us are looking for and this guy just gets on your nerves the whole time.

Doc Boone is another annoying character because of how he’s always getting drunk. As the local doctor he really needs to stay sober at all times for emergencies like when Mrs. Mallory was giving birth. In the end he’s able to handle the situation just barely but it ended up being a lot closer than it needed to be and that’s entirely on him. Afterwards his first thought is to go right back to drinking too so it’s not like he learned anything. Getting addicted to alcohol like that is always such a tragic thing because you see how the character is completely overwhelmed by it.

Mrs. Mallory seemed okay enough. She wasn’t quite as rude as Hatfield but she wasn’t particularly nice to Dallas either until Dallas helped with the baby. Before that I’d call her knowingly oblivious at best. She would just stay out of the way for the most part. Then there’s Samuel who mainly serves as the resident coward of the group. He’s a bit afraid to voice his own decisions here and in general just isn’t a commanding figure. Hey, I’ll take that over being super annoying or an antagonist so that’s a start.

The writing here has that retro feel to it that I always enjoy. The script is pretty good. Even if I may not enjoy some of the characters, I can still appreciate the back and forth banter the whole time. The pacing of the film is pretty solid and the fight we get is good. This is certainly not an action film so don’t watch it for that but it’s still an added bonus. In the end this is a film you shouldn’t really have any big issues with. It’s a fairly safe ride to the end.

The cast is also fairly big so the movie does a good job of throwing so many figures at you. They all have different personalities and don’t really overlap. I didn’t even go into all of them here. The film is another reminder of why I wouldn’t have wanted to be around during the wild west era though. It feels like you are always one broken stagecoach away from serious trouble. If a wheel slips out you’re basically dead because you’ll be caught before you walk to the next army base. Even if it’s working bandits could show up at any time and if you don’t have a lot of guns then you would be doomed.

If you think about it, things go sideways for the characters here because they got delayed and before they could leave the enemies popped up. It’s not even like they made a bunch of bad decisions like horror protagonists. It’s not like you could stop the baby from being born at that moment either so the heroes were just in a rather sticky position the whole time. They’re lucky that the enemy group wasn’t bigger or things would have really gotten dicey.

Overall, Stagecoach is a good movie albeit one that is not the most memorable. It’s not particularly exceptional in any way, it just goes about its business and executes the story at a good level. Without the big gunfights or super memorable characters to write about it isn’t able to compete with the top members of the genre but it still beats the weaker ones. That’s why I’d say it’s a good movie. It’s not breaking any records but it handles itself well enough.

Overall 6/10

The Quiet Man Review

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You guys know I enjoy a good romance as much as the next but when a film has a really bad romance I have to call it out immediately! This one’s just so bad that it’ll leave your head spinning the whole time. The Quiet Man should have stayed quiet this time because the more he talks the more annoying he gets. The film has a long drawn out fight at the end which can be a little entertaining but as a whole the movie was definitely a miss here.

The film starts off with Sean moving to a small village and getting ready for a peaceful life. He used to be a boxer but retired after a certain incident. He will not fight any longer and it’s hard to blame him because things really didn’t go well. He ends up falling for a local lady named Mary and the two start a romance. A problem arises though when her brother won’t accept the engagement and Mary refuses to marry Sean without the guy’s blessing……..and so the start of their romantic issues begin.

The whole thing’s absolutely crazy, ridiculous, and forced. So because of old traditions Mary won’t marry Sean even though it’s obvious that her brother Will has a huge vendetta against Sean and will never OK the thing? Basically he’s upset because the lady he has a crush on (Tillane) gave the house over to Sean instead of him. The whole thing has nothing to do with Mary and yet he won’t let bygones be bygones. When you marry someone, your significant other should trump all others. That includes family, friends, etc.

The fact that Mary won’t get together with Sean over this is such a massive red flag that he should be walking away at this point. Even the way they met up was pretty awful. Sean found Mary going through his house while he was gone so he forces a kiss and she’s still talking tough the whole time and not wanting to admit that she likes him. After a bunch of tough talk they get together only for Will to step in. The romance didn’t start out as a healthy one and it never developed into one. The film gives us no reason for either character to even love each other.

It makes no sense and I’ve already said that but I’m going to keep on saying it! Finally it looks like things are getting better but then Mary won’t be with Sean until they get a gift from Will. Mary wants him to give her money as per tradition and when the guy makes a big deal about it/refuses to give it to Sean she insists that it is non-negotiable. Seriously? She wants Sean to basically go on his knees and beg for it from a guy who is clearly in the wrong. This is why she’s so annoying, the whole thing is blown way out of proportion. She even runs off to ditch Sean early in the morning and he only barely catches up to her in time and has to literally drag her back home. He then fights Will on behalf of her honor but there’s no point to it.

Now I keep blasting Mary here but you have to understand that 50% of this is Sean’s fault as well. You can’t have a relationship with just one person after all and Sean is still putting up with all of this. He should have walked away the instant Mary started acting up like this. He fell in love with her randomly so it’s not like he’s liked her for years. As soon as these red flags popped up then it was time for him to leave. Staying was only empowering her to keep up these crazy actions over and over again. He just needed to nope out of there. She’s literally getting him into trouble by having him pick fights with people in the town who could be dangerous like Will.

Sean obliges and ultimately has the big fight with Will where he could have been seriously injured. The film gets a bit cheesy in the end as after all of this the fight helps them grow close. You’d think it was a Shonen Jump fight or something by the end of this. My big problem with this is that no lessons were learned as a result. Sean and Mary lived happily ever after even though she showed that she did not respect him in the slightest and put having money above his happiness. Sean showed that he is willing to be walked on like this and doesn’t have his full self respect left.

The film adds insult to injury by pairing Will up with Tillane after all of this. Tillane didn’t even like Will and made that clear the whole film, but then by the end she likes him now? Then this guy who was so petty and willing to ruin his sister’s marriage over a little squabble gets to have a happy relationship of his own? The film didn’t seem to realize just how messed up all of the relationships were here and that’s a shame. The punishments just didn’t match the crimes because there were no punishments.

The tone of the film was off the whole time. This is treated like a wholesome romance when it’s anything but. If it was a full on comedy/parody then you can see how the film would deal with this but it’s actually played very seriously. It’s just a really odd film by every stretch and it didn’t work out well for me. It didn’t click and I can safely say that it’s one of the weaker romances that I’ve seen in a while.

Overall, This is a film to stay far away from. The Quiet Man is about a main character who’s not even super quiet. He cracks after a while rather than dealing with the problem upfront and that ends up being a problem. You’ve probably never even heard of this film since it’s been lost to time and that’s a good thing. You want to stay far away from this one as there are plenty of drama and romance titles that are better than this one.

Overall 3/10

Practical Magic Review

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It’s time for a film about magic and how a curse can really last for a very long amount of time. The film has its moments but the whole main romance is really just a big rebound so that does take some points without a doubt. Ultimately the movie goes by rather quickly and it’s an entertaining ride even if it won’t end up being one of the top titles.

The film starts off with a witch creating a curse that bad things will befall any guy who tries to get together with her descendants. The marriage will not be able to last and that has carried through to the present. Sally is our main character and she’s not going to let a curse stop her. She marries a guy named Michael and they had some kids but one day he is hit by a truck and she finally realizes that there is no way to beat the curse. She will not allow herself to love ever again but her sister isn’t ready to quit yet and has a ton of affairs. Unfortunately she has gone in with the wrong crowd now by getting together with a crazy guy named Jimmy. Sally will have to help her out before it’s too late but in the meantime what if she falls in love with one of the local authorities named Gary?

Of course that’s exactly what happens and so there is no way to get around this romance. Sally basically lost her husband to a curse and now she’s going to move on just like that? She probably should have just brought him back to life. Yes, the whole movie is a cautionary tale against doing such a thing but I think you can make it work. In a world where magic is real and it is actually possible to revive someone (albeit with some side effects) then you just have to spend your life perfecting the spell to make it work. I guarantee that it’s at least a possibility considering that we know the magic exits.

So the romance ends up being annoying as a result. Granted Gary’s not even a bad guy. He’s a good person trying to do the right thing and help out. It’s just that I’m not buying the romance. Particularly since Michael was also a good guy before he bought the farm early. The most annoying character has to be Gillian though because she’s the one dragging Sally into a whole lot of trouble. From what we’ve seen of Jimmy he wasn’t exactly a class act from the start so how did this relationship even start?

Regardless he ends up causing a lot of trouble for the duration of the film. Naturally he takes the bulk of the blame since he’s the one going around breaking the law and basically trying to murder the heroines. It would just be nice if Gillian was more responsible since it doesn’t feel like she actually learns any lessons during the film. The aunts are also not without blame as they just run out midway through the film and vanish during the climax. It sure would have been nice to have had some adult supervision to back Sally up when she was in a tight spot.

The film feels pretty short and it’s entertaining enough. There are definitely some jokes that work well like the heroes murdering Jimmy multiple times. The plot is serious to an extent but there are always a lot of lighthearted moments thrown in to keep everything balanced. It also wasn’t too easy to snap the curse so the original witch’s power was definitely impressive. You’d think the main characters or at least the aunts could have worked a bit harder to blow up the curse but granted it seems like the aunts agreed with it to an extent. So they had no real reason to snap it.

The cast here is fairly small which isn’t a bad idea so you can focus on the characters but it’s just a problem that none of them are super likable. There aren’t any standouts here and as a result the film isn’t quite as lively or exciting as it could have been. You’ll never feel bored while watching it or anything like that but there also isn’t a ton of replay value here either. So it’s not bad but it’s not that good either and just winds up being in the middle. I will give the ending props for using the power of friendship though. Sally had been neglecting the other moms at school who were just trying to help and so by the end they all help each other out. It may be a bit cheesy but it was still a decent climax.

One thing the film could have done maybe was to lean into the curse a bit more. Have Sally actually try meeting tons of guys and each time something goes wrong. The main weakness of this strategy is it could make Sally look completely desperate so it should be played completely for laughs with lots of slapstick. Then you never do a serious romance and the plot of the film is more actively about ending the curse. I will say that the curse is slick to not activate until the descendant has had kids so this way the lineage will continue to grow.

Overall, Practical Magic is a decent movie but I feel like there’s so much more you could do with magic. I tend to feel this way for most slice of life/romance type movies that involve magic. Magic is one of the ultimate fantasies for any person to have. There are so many ways you can immediately enhance your life with it or even just show off for others. I’d like to see a main character just go wild with it for once. In this movie the power levels are a bit lower so it might have been harder but the magic feels like it’s only something on the side to keep the film fresh but it’s not as overpowering an element as you might expect. If the comedic/romance plot sounds good to you then you should check it out but the fact that it’s all a rebound hurts it just enough for me to not bump this to the next level.

Overall 5/10

The Rainmaker Review

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It’s time for another court thriller. This time we have a lead who is fairly new to the game and gets thrown into a really difficult case right off the bat. This movie’s pretty solid with some nice humor but mainly a ton of focus on the court system. You’ll really learn the ins and outs here and how every technicality is super important or you could end up losing the case.

The movie starts with Rudy finally passing the law school and ready to get his license. He just needs to pass the BAR exam now but in the meantime he needs some experience. He ends up working for a guy known as the Bruiser and the office looks nice but it becomes clear that these guys don’t mind taking some shortcuts. They get wins but at any cost and ultimately this is starting to catch up to the firm. Rudy doesn’t want to get into trouble but this is the only gig he has. Can he pull this off and also do good in winning cases for his client?

I think the toughest part about being an attorney is that you won’t always be on the right side. For example you have to give it your all whether you’re defending the person you think is just or not. Fortunately Rudy manages to stay on the just side here but it’s a tough balancing act. Also even if you’re a good person, if you work for a crook then that gets a bit dicey. Seeing Bruiser get swarmed by the cops was pretty intense, I wasn’t expecting that and as a result he plays the interesting role of foreign fugitive. Obviously Bruiser’s not a good guy but I can at least respect that he takes care of his allies. Even when he’s half a world away, he shows up when it counts to help Rudy out of a jam.

Meanwhile Rudy’s partner Deck seems rather incompetent at first. He’s failed the BAR exam almost 10 times and doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing. That said as the film goes on you get to see how creative he is. Deck has the good idea of creating his own law firm with Rudy and also comes in clutch when Rudy is late to one of the hearings. So definitely a good example of not judging a book by its cover. Deck may not be book smart but he’s street smart and has picked up a whole lot over all the years that he has been in the sector.

Meanwhile Rudy is pretty good at staying focused on the cases and blocking out the noise. The main case he is handling here is on behalf of a kid named Donny who is dying of leukemia. What Rudy has to argue is that this death was preventable had the insurance company allowed him to have a bone marrow transplant operation. The defense is alleging that this would not have worked anyway and was very experimental so it wouldn’t be covered. That’s the crux of the main case here and it plays out during the duration of the film.

As with a real case there are lots of breaks and it spans many days which is how you can have the rest of the film playing out. One thing that is distracting Rudy a bit from the case is he bumped into a lady named Kelly who is being abused by her husband. Rudy tries to convince her to leave the relationship but she’s scared of the repercussions and so he has to try and figure out a way to get her out of this jam as well. It’s just difficult because there is only so much you can do from an outside perspective especially if she doesn’t want to go through with it. After all if you make the wrong move then she is the one who is going to pay the price there.

It’s a fairly dark plot and definitely the most serious part of the film. The rest of the film is still fairly serious of course but more in a somber way like with the Donny plot. This plot also nearly takes Rudy out for the count since he didn’t time things too well for when the husband would get there. In general this is a plot I’d remove from the film and keep the focus on the main case.

Meanwhile the case has a lot of developments going on for a while. For example the previous judge dies so we get a new one, Tyrone. This works out really well for Rudy because Tyrone is a whole lot more reasonable. He’s eager to see some justice done although he still has to act within the confines of the law so he gets annoyed when Rudy starts making some rookie mistakes. Either way it makes a world of difference to have a judge who is sympathetic to your cause though.

I enjoyed all of the court room stuff quite a bit. You can tell that the movie was taking the legal aspects very seriously here. It’s all done by the books and I could definitely watch that for ages. It is the film’s strength without a doubt. The writing is solid and so the pacing is pretty good there. The film tends to weaken a bit when we’re outside of the court room though. I like the legal stuff like working around the office and finding things out but the subplots outside of that aren’t quite as interesting. Rudy getting used to the area and the Kelly subplot end up distracting from the film’s main focus and the latter just felt unnecessary with how it really darkens the tone. The main case was already dark in its own way with how shady the company was so that was enough.

Overall, The Rainmaker is a good film. I’d say it’s just slightly not strong enough for me to call it a pretty good film but it hits enough of the right notes. The ending is definitely not very satisfying at all though. It feels like Rudy just started to give up and in the end that doesn’t just hurt him but all of the people who need a good lawyer out there. I didn’t buy his arguments for why it was time to leave. Still if you’re looking for a solid court movie this is a good one to check out.

Overall 6/10

Black Sabbath Review

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It’s time for another horror anthology film. You know what that usually means, lots of sadness as the anthology format ends up limiting everything. Well this time I can at least say that the anthology is pretty reasonable. It’s still nothing great but the format is used well enough. For example the first special is fairly solid but if it had been dragged out you get the feeling that it would not have been nearly as good. None of the shorts are super bad either although the second one is certainly the weakest by far. This one’s actually not in English so I got to really experience the subtitled experience here. I’ve seen my share of subbed films of course but it’s always an interesting change of pace.

The first story starts off with a lady named Rosy receiving a distressing phone call. A guy named Frank is showing up. This guy should be in prison but he recently escaped and Rosy’s testimony is what sealed the deal. Now he’s saying that he is going to destroy her and the worst part is that he can seemingly see her at every turn. How can he when she isn’t even by the windows? Her only hope is to call in her ex-friend Mary. The two have not been on speaking terms for some time now but Rosy can’t win this on her own. Will her old friend prove to be dependable?

So it’s a pretty tense story from the jump and it really does make a world of difference to have even just one more ally with you at such a time. Mary ends up stealing the show here as an interesting character. She loves her dark humor and while Rosy doesn’t really appreciate that side of her, at least Mary isn’t scared. Mary even has a large knife at the ready and is generally very sure of herself. We never find out exactly what the issue was that came up between them but hey Mary showed up. Ultimately I would have liked her to have done a little better during the short but that’s how it goes. Naturally there are some twists that show up during this short. One of them I have a little bit of a hard time buying into though. The film drops us a half hearted explanation that resorts to incredibly accurate guessing…but that’s not really satisfying. I’m not sure what you could have done without making this supernatural though.

The opening short does have some random fanservice so I wouldn’t call it super high brow entertainment though. There’s a lot to like here so I could still recommend it but the ending is a bit weak compared to the rest of the setup. I can say though that it is considerably better than most films about a scary phone call though so it does have that going for it. Check this film out even if just to see how this plot should really be handled rather than those over the top slasher films.

Then we have the second story where Vladimir stops by a house real quick after seeing a dead body. Basically it turns out that there are zombie type creatures running around known as Wurdulaks and they are incredibly dangerous. They can still move, run, and talk like normal humans but they can no longer eat and are driven by only one desire, to murder the one they love the most. It’s really a rough curse when you think about it because it’s actually using your own friendship against you. Vladimir doesn’t know how to end this curse but he ends up falling in love with one of the women there so he offers to at least take her with him and get out of there. Unfortunately she feels like she needs to stay with the rest of the family. They’re all worried that the father has been turned into one of these monsters because he’s been gone for a few days. Well he returns one day and seems a bit shady….should they destroy him or wait to see what happens?

Part of what hurts this short is how everyone makes the worst decisions possible. So it’s painfully obvious that the father has already been turned into a monster so just take him out! Now if there’s any doubt that’s fine, do some tests. Have him try to eat some food or at least put him in restraints. Instead they all just kind of stand there. The father goes to pick up the baby and they whine about it but let him take the kid. They all then go to bed as if everything was fine…..sure they have one guy as a night watchman but what were they thinking? Obviously these creatures have super strength so you’re not going to be doing much with just one guard. The whole story is really annoying because you just don’t see how this could have possibly happened. It really makes no sense the whole time. So inevitably when the body count starts rising you just know that all of the characters are to blame.

They open the door when monsters show up, constantly panic and split up, etc. Even Vladimir doesn’t look very good as he tries to leave initially but splits up of course. Then when he goes back to save the girl he doesn’t suspect that she might be turned and goes for the full body hug? Noooooo, this guy was asking for trouble. Horror characters are famous for making the wrong calls at every turn but this really has to be up there in the running for one of the worst films in that regard. The sheer frequency of all these bad decisions is completely mind boggling. Trust me you’re going to be shaking your head left and right. Throw in that the story is a bit darker as well with a dog getting shot and a kid being murdered…well this isn’t going to be winning any awards I can tell you that much.

Finally we have the last story which is a classic cautionary tale against greed. Basically it starts with an older lady named Helen being called in because an even older lady has died and so they have to get everything sorted out for the burial. Helen notices that the old lady has a really nice looking ring though and decides to take it for herself. Finders keepers and all that right? Well she puts it on and all seems fine for about 2 seconds but then she starts to hear some water tapping on the surface. No matter how many faucets she turns off it keeps up. This can be annoying but perhaps not a dealbreaker right? Well that changes once the dead lady starts appearing to reclaim her ring. If Helen isn’t careful then it will be all over for her. Can she relinquish the ring and make things all right or will she continue to double down over and over for as long as it takes?

So Helen definitely dug her own grave here. Sometimes it’s really as simple as just not stealing something. Whenever there is a film where the villain is attacking because the hero did something bad then it’s harder to have sympathy. Helen stealing from a dead person is just completely uncalled for and makes her look so bad. You simply can’t do that at any point. No amount of money is worth doing the wrong thing like that. The short definitely has a lot of fun playing with the colors here and it’s definitely a reminder that those old houses with lots of shadows are a bad matchup against a vengeful ghost trying to sneak up on you. You’re just giving it way too many hiding spots to try and get you at that point. The ending of the film is pretty satisfying with how the cycle keeps on going. Also the cops finally get involved there so you if we got a sequel it would be interesting to see how much they could deduce here. In a supernatural case it can be hard to really get any clues since they don’t really know enough from the jump but it would still be a fun premise.

Overall, This was a pretty decent horror special. Certainly wayyy better than the average horror anthology at least. There’s a good amount of intrigue here and some fun stories. The middle story definitely holds this combo back the most though and it isn’t quite up to the level of the other two. I can’t really picture re watching this one at any point but still it wasn’t bad. I would put it right in the middle. If you’re looking for some horror titles to watch then this could definitely work. At the same time, it’s not going to be the top horror title to check out or anything like that.

Overall 5/10