Tag Archives: Horror

Rings Review

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It’s time for another Ring movie and this one is the weakest yet. It’s time for a whole lot of exposition to things that we already know about. There aren’t any real great characters here and the film falls into the usual issue of the whole thing being futile. The main characters have absolutely no chance of claiming victory here and will only continue to be absolutely crushed. The film desperately needs to introduce a villain to fight the demon or something because the humans are not cutting it.

The movie starts with Samara crashing an airplane filled with people because at least two of them had seen the video. Everyone is now doomed and upon their death we cut to the real main characters. Julia is the heroine here and her boyfriend heads off to College but they swear to stay together. They will make the long distance relationship work. Unfortunately he stops returning her calls early on and the last time they spoke he was surrounded by other student who didn’t seem like good influences. Another girl shows up on his computer and starts acting crazy so Julia drives over to find out what’s going on. Unfortunately she is not entering the middle of an ongoing death experiment.

There’s already a lot wrong with this. Holt just comes across as a terrible character. So he willingly joined an experiment about death, knowing full well about the risks. He bought into the explanation that this can help humanity learn some knowledge or something but with the risk it’s not worth it. Basically Professor Gabriel has a lot of students watch the Ring video. Then before the week is up, they get other students to watch it. You can keep on passing the curse along so that nobody dies but the professor waits for a long time to get a tail on this and so people still keep on dying anyway.

Holt’s excuse here is that he left Julia in the dark so that she wouldn’t get involved. It’s a terribly thought out plan. For starters this would make her nervous and want to come over anyway. If she didn’t, then she probably would have just straight up dumped him. In either case, there is no real winning on this one if you use that strategy. Instead he could have just acted like all was normal and at least texted her back once a day. Even letting her know about the experiments and just hiding parts of it would have worked better. So he’s just not very smart.

He’s also not likable for even getting involved with this in the first place. I’d also throw in that if he had roommates with him, he should have warned Julia in the call before she started stripping. Obviously that’s putting her in a really embarrassing situation otherwise. I can’t say that I was a big fan of Skye either because she was quick to watch the video and then was ready to pass it on to someone else. Not a very nice thing to do and it makes her as guilty as the other characters.

How come nobody suggested just making this into a Daisy Chain? Person A gives it to Person B who gives it to Person C who gives it to Person A, etc. You could do that every 3 days and in theory nobody would ever die. It would certainly be a lot safer than their current plan. Perhaps I missed one of the very sketchy rules about copies here but as far as I know this would work. Now admittedly, I still have to stretch some disbelief to understand how Gabriel found out so much about these rules. I guess you could say through a lot of trial and error but it’s always weird to have someone figure out so much about this.

Unfortunately that doesn’t save us from the exposition as we still have Julia and Holt travelling the world to learn more about Samara and her past. This is basically retreading a ton of old ground that we have already went through so I can tell you that this was incredibly dull. We already know that Samara is evil so it’s not like finding out more is going to help. The film introduces another big villain in her father but Samara is not some random victim.

She has been murdering dozens of people for years and has already said that she would never stop. While the father was crazy and evil himself, you knew that he didn’t stand a chance. He was blind so perhaps he figured that would be a natural defense against her curse but what he didn’t realize was that Samara has the ability to restore someone’s eyesight. Checkmate! I know that sounds pretty ridiculous but as long as you keep in mind that she is all powerful then it works out.

So you don’t really have any likable characters here. Gabriel should be treated as another big villain here as well since he was a mass murderer by showing the video to so many people. He may claim it was for science and stuff but that doesn’t give him a free pass. When Samara messes them all over by stopping the video from being copied, you can’t even feel too bad because people were already dying anyway. At least this will stop all of the experiments.

There just comes a point where you wonder what the point of this all is. Samara cannot be defeated or even slowed down at this point. She can take anyone down and even possess others whenever she wants to. You can try to burn the tapes but she will return right away and ignore every attempt to stop her. She seems rather slow so you could in theory run away from her but then she’ll just have you choke from bugs or be in some Final Destination type explosion. There is no escape and there is no way to beat her so everything is absolutely brutal.

I guess I can say that the film is at least not ultra violent. It certainly has its moments but isn’t on the same level as something like Final Destination or Halloween. The film makes up for this with a lot of disturbing imagery and just dark themes in general. This is definitely not what you would call a feel good movie nor does it have much in the way of replay value. There aren’t even a ton of scares to be had. Yeah we get some jump scares and all but the exposition part of the film is reallllly long. Honestly there is no easy way to save this franchise. Giving her a weak point would be a good start but it doesn’t seem like that is in the cards. Maybe at least give us a likable character.

Overall, Rings has more pertinent things to say about long distance relationships than actual lore about Samara. It’s all recycled at this point so you just don’t care. Her father has a good voice for exposition but the character himself is just randomly evil without a whole lot of development. I would definitely recommend staying far away from this film. It doesn’t meaningfully upgrade the Ring series and just takes a few steps back instead. Maybe the next film will be better…one can hope.

Overall 2/10

Flight 7500 Review

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I think a problem that some slow burn films have is that you need to have a great payoff at the end. I love a good setup phase but if there is no big climax then you did something wrong. This film spends an incredible amount of time setting up the characters and establishing an eerie atmosphere only to have no real plan on how to deal with this. As a result we get a very underwhelming climax that will just leave you shaking your head.

The film starts by showing us a bunch of characters getting onto a plane. They are as unlikable as possible and I’ll get into them in a moment. Still, everyone just has to make it through the flight but unfortunately a guy starts bleeding and dies really quickly. There may be some contagion on board now and weird things begin to happen. Flickering lights, spirits and aberrations, etc. Maybe everyone is just getting a little stressed out? They need to simply survive until the end of the film…but will they?

Weird things happening is a fun setup here so we’re still in business. One of the big problems though is in making everyone so unlikable. I know this is usually a tool to help make sure you don’t mind seeing them all die but it feels like this tends to backfire most of the time. There is just usually not a good reason to do this and it does play a part in the film’s failure. Better characters could have really made a difference here.

First you’ve got Jake who doesn’t believe in the capitalist system and wants to steal as many things as possible. He will make money off the grid and live in whatever way he sees fit. No rules can stop him. This guy just looks out for himself and you can probably guess that he will be one of the first ones to go. He’s quite brazen about breaking protocol and there is just nothing good about him.

Then you have Lance who is acting strange the whole time and brings a big briefcase with him. You could blame a lot of the problems on this guy to be honest. He’s not as mean as some of the other characters but does give off a tough vibe from the start. Lance is clearly not here to talk to the other characters at all. Then there is Jacinta and at first it seems like the only bad thing about her is that she’s goth which is a little funny to be honest. Well, after that she does seem to be a little too into death like trying to feel some blood which will just spread the virus if that’s going around. Her speech to Rick also felt a little bit like she was starting to flirt with how their actions don’t matter or how good they were in life.

Definitely a terrible mindset to have. Of course I can’t give Rick any real points either. He just got married and yet he can’t help but stare at Jacinta the whole time? You have to absolutely do better than that. It doesn’t matter how pretty she may be or what her fashion sense is, he literally just got married. Come on now. Rick may not be as bad as some of the other characters but that was not a good look for him.

Meanwhile his wife Liz is constantly complaining about everyone. She panics a whole lot and just finds a way to find faults with everyone. She is never happy and is determined to make this flight a very long one for everyone. You wonder how she and Rick even got together in the first place based on their scenes. He must have really been desperate or she just changed a whole lot.

The staff isn’t free of fault either. One of the main hostesses is Laura and she is actively having an affair with the pilot Pete even though he is married. He has told her that he will get a divorce so they can be together forever and she actually bought this. Of course it doesn’t ultimately matter if that is true or not. He’s still married at the moment so both characters look terrible here.

Then you have Suzy who may by default be the most reasonable character here but even she is a bit iffy. She basically admits that she is only with her current boyfriend because he’s a safe bet. She actually still likes her ex a lot more and so the poor guy doesn’t even know this. That’s just tragic when you really think about it. Suzy probably has the roughest end though so you feel bad for her. When the monster goes after her, absolutely nobody makes a move to help her. They just run away which is insane. You can see how this character cast is completely unlikable right? There are other characters as well but you get the idea of it. The plane tends to feel pretty empty considering how many people are around as well and while this is for the twist later on, it is incredibly forced that nobody comments on this.

So what about the monster? Well, we never really get to see it. There are flashes and you might see an arm but for the most part even by the end you don’t really get a full shot. You’re waiting for things to start happening after all the ominous moments but there is absolutely no payoff. The film has a big twist at the end but it’s just so lame. It’s one of those twists that just seems to exist but there is no reason for it.

It’s a boring ending and I wanted something more direct. The film leads us on with a Shinigami doll so you’re expecting an actual figure for them to fight but that’s not the case. It feels like a Shyamalan and certainly not one of the good ones. The film loses all momentum here and also becomes another one of those titles where everything was pointless. Thanks to the twist, nothing ever really mattered. Every action the characters took was futile and that’s always going to be a sore spot for me. You need to write these things in a way where the actions matter or else the viewing won’t be satisfying, let alone a rewatch.

Overall, I would say this is a movie you will want to skip out on. It’s just not a good title. The film really ends on a whimper and almost forgets that it is supposed to be a horror film by the end. You do get some unnerving visuals although I would say they tend to just be more on the gross side like the one guy who was bleeding a lot. We have a jump scare early on and then the film starts to abandon that as well. It just feels like there was no big plan here so in the end everything just fell apart. It’s a shame because a plane is a great place for a horror moment considering that there is no way out. Better luck next time I suppose.

Overall 4/10

The Creature Walks Among Us Review

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This film is a bit of a mess and the biggest problem is that the romance is absolutely crazy here. The film should have focused a whole lot more on the Gillman himself. Instead he is functionally a human for most of the movie and we have this awful love triangle going on. Trust me, the drama is not worth it for this film and you should stay far away. The winning formula is not to be found here.

The movie starts off with the main characters taking down the Gillman once more. He was badly burned so they take off the gills and it turns out that he looks just like a human now. He can no longer breath underwater without the gills but maybe they can slowly rehabilitate him. The problem is that Dr. William is bit on the crazy side. He’s also randomly abusive towards his wife Marcia and so their relationship is incredibly strained.

Unfortunately one of their divers is a man with no redeeming qualities named Jed. Jed decides that he wants Marcia all to himself so he begins to continually harass her as he tries to weaken her will so that she can cheat on her husband. Marcia doesn’t have much love left for William with how things have gotten and so she gradually weakens enough to allow Jed his advances. What does any of this have to do with the Gillman? Well, the poor guy is getting an up close view at how humans cannot be trusted and are all rather sinister.

That’s a huge problem for the film which is that the characters are simply unlikable. You’re basically rooting for the Gillman to take them out. First it’s easy to say that William is the worst of the humans. There’s no excuse for being abusive. The fact that he gets physical puts him on the lowest rung of the totem pole here and you’re waiting for someone to bump him off. He’s also not that good at thinking ahead as he puts himself in a really rough position when trying to frame the Gillman.

The Gillman gets framed? Yeah that actually happens near the end which was definitely a real desperate move. Could have been interesting if we had a courtroom trial or something but all of this is taking place privately with the characters on their property so we never get that far. Next up I have to put Jed as the second most unlikable character. You should never be trying to get someone to cheat. How classless is it to go after a married woman? That’s just total villain behavior and this guy seriously cannot take no for an answer.

So I can’t say that I felt any real sympathy for him. He found out real quick what the repercussions for this would be and shouldn’t have been making those mistakes. Finally, Marcia takes up some of the blame here but naturally not as much. She was on the back foot here but could have been more decisive in shutting Jed down. For example when Jed was going to go diving underwater, she insisted on coming along.

Everyone warned her that she’s not experienced for this and she could get the bends. Marcia insists on going and naturally she immediately makes a big mistake and Jed has to save her. That’s far from pushing him away and now it’s an excuse for him to be real close to her. Marcia needed to make sure she wasn’t putting herself in that kind of position. Sure, she couldn’t have assumed that she would make a mistake underwater but the point of the mission is that diving is really hard. It’s why Ned is here as an expert in the first place.

So instead of swimming with him, she needs another way to stop his endless pestering. This is the kind of serious matter where you do tell everyone and make a big stink about it. You have to embarrass the guy and if you don’t feel safe, then it’s time to get the cops involved and such. It’s also time for her to end the marriage to William and just start fresh. Hard decisions but this guy was clearly escalating more and more. Once things go physical then there isn’t a way back.

Still, this is a whole lot of screentime for the pesky humans. Keep in mind that the runtime for the movie is short. This is under 90 minutes total. The Gillman spends a good amount of that time getting burned and then being in recovery mode. He wakes up in time to take down one of the animals just for the film to remind us that this is not a quality picture. Far from it! Then the ending also goes out on a total whimper.

The Gillman walks out onto the sea. We know that he can’t breath under the water anymore so the implication is that he walked into his death. Living on the ship with those crazies was enough to thoroughly break him. That’s pretty sad in its own right. There is no climactic battle, in general the film didn’t have much action. This really feels like a poor way to end the Gillman trilogy. You’re left wondering what the whole point of the film was really about.

What purpose was there in showing that the Gillman was actually very similar to a human being? William had an obsession with evolution and biological changes like this but it’s not like that ever went anywhere. The Gillman didn’t ultimately learn how to hold a whole conversation or anything like that. You can barely even call this a horror film to be honest and maybe that’s not one of its official genres anyway. It’s more of a full on drama.

Overall, I’d say to stay away from this film. It doesn’t really satisfy you as a creature feature film and when it comes to full on dramas, there are way better ones out there. We needed a much better cast of characters here and there should have been way more action. If you do want to go into the romantic drama, then go all in and have both guys trying to murder each other throughout the film or something. Put it out in the open and the film is a battle of wits in this murder game. Then you somehow have the Gillman get involved in all of that. it would have been infinitely more interesting that way. Instead what we get is a mishmash of genres that won’t really satisfy anybody.

Overall 3/10

The Ring Two Review

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The sequel to the Ring is definitely a very different film because it decides to throw away a lot of what made the first film unique. The video isn’t really relevant outside of the opening scene. Samara basically just does whatever she wants at this point and it’s not like anybody can really stop her. So she just goes on a rampage here and for some reason the film tries to make her slightly more sympathetic here when in the first film it was clear that she was super evil and had no doubts about it. I do appreciate that we have true continuity here with the old characters returning but the direction was definitely odd.

The movie starts with showing us how Rachel has built herself a new life far away from the events of the first film. She has escaped the Ring by passing on the curse so things should be better right? Well, unfortunately Samara keeps a grudge and she has apparently followed Rachel. She destroys one teen near the beginning as a warning shot and then starts to possess Aidan. Yes, this is a classic possession film now instead of being curse related. The first teenager is as unlikable as possible so you don’t really feel bad for him since he tried to murder his girlfriend, but why is Samara going after the main characters again?

In theory she should have no reason to go after them right? They passed on the curse and ensured that people would keep dying. Well, Rachel tries to find answers which means looking into Samara’s mother but there is really less point to it this time around. The research may have been futile in the first film but it still made sense since they needed to find out more about the monster and how to stop it. In this sequel, there is less for the heroes to really go on. Even if Rachel finds out some information, it’s not like it will help her right?

This does lead to an extended well fight which makes the well even more important than the first film. The plot armor is even stronger than in the first film as well since Rachel essentially has to fight Samara for quite a bit in order to lock her in. There’s no way this should work by what we’ve seen up to this point and even if Samara would get trapped, we have no reason to believe that it would even slow her down. She is basically a complete monster and should be immune to all of that. Her abilities are not of this realm. We saw in the first film that she could strike even from within the realm after all.

All of the possession stuff doesn’t really add to the film either. She mainly possesses Rachel’s kid Aidan the whole time. You can’t make a kid all that scary. He does bump off the guy who was helping Rachel but you could have seen that coming a mile away. Aidan does his best to fight her but he’s just a kid and so naturally he is utterly powerless against the possession. His scenes tend to drag on and you’re more interested in Rachel’s plot.

Rachel may not be perfect as she nearly drowns Aidan by accident when tricked by the illusions but she is able to do more damage to the villain at least. While I feel like her drowning plan towards the end was way too risky, I suppose the results proved it to be the right course of action. You have to take some leaps of logic when dealing with an all powerful creature like this after all.

You kind of feel bad for Max here because he’s roped into something where he is completely out of his league. At first he thinks he is helping a kid and his mom who are in a tough spot. Then he thinks he may need to help the kid from an abusive situation. All he gets from this is utter destruction. Towards the end you could say he is a little slow on the uptake but you really do have to cut him some slack because this situation is really out there. It’s not the kind of thing that you would be able to believe at face value. At least that’s the way I see it.

At least even if the film seems less focused and a bit more pointless than the first, it was better with the animal violence. Not perfectly as we have a bizarre scene of deers attacking the car and injuring themselves in the process. What was this scene even about? Who knows, Samara may not even know the full extent of her abilities. If she has teleportation, mind control, possession, etc, then she may just have all of the powers. It’s another gentle reminder to the pesky humans that they don’t really stand a chance here.

The film’s overall atmosphere is a little less spooky than the first one’s. In a way this one may have more jump scares but less effective ones. You just want to see Samara on her own attacking everyone, not acting through the body of a kid who can’t really fight back. I also think we need to bring the video back, a fun way to do it would have been to warp the characters inside the video for the climax. One of those stories where if Rachel beats Samara in the video, then Samara dies in real life. It would make Samara look dumb for bringing her in there, but at least it’s a way to get to the end.

Overall, The Ring Two is a pretty different film from the first one. Ultimately I would say that it is a weaker one thanks to all of the emphasis on possession. That tends to be one of the weaker forms of horror to me. It doesn’t help that it’s a kid being possessed so he’s not very scary either. I don’t see the point in learning more about Samara’s backstory here and how even her character feels a bit more different. This almost could have been a completely unrelated film to the first and that’s a problem. A sequel should really be maximizing its potential by being able to skip introductions. This should have been a film about finding Samara’s weakness and defeating her for good. Yes, I don’t count general drowning or closing a well to be an actual weakness.

Overall 4/10

Prince of Darkness Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those really spooky titles. With something called “Prince of Darkness” you already know that you’re not exactly in for your normal film experience. This one dips into sci-fi as well as the horror genre so that really makes this an unforgettable experience. The movie gets serious props for managing to get a really intense atmosphere within the film but also does tend to go a little too far with all the gross imagery and violence. At the end of the day I would call it an elevated slasher but make no mistake, everyone is being taken down.

The film has a professor bring along his most talented students to a church for some kind of project. They’re going to be here for days so they have their own beds and everything. They all specialize in different kinds of science so whatever is going on here has to be really massive. They are all being kept in the dark on what is going on here. See, it turns out that in this world, the Devil is actually an alien that has been trapped underneath the Church. Unfortunately he is slowly breaking past the seal and if he escapes, the whole planet is lost.

Honestly they should have told the students this from the start or at least a similar story to get them motivated. It’s not like most of them would have believed that anyway right? It would have at least given them some urgency though as they are initially really chill about the whole thing. Since they are each experts of their field, it probably would have helped them to target more specific solutions as well.

As the film goes on, we see how slowly the situation is getting worse and worse all around. The Church begins to get surrounded by the homeless who all seem to be affected by the evil influence. The Devil is able to shoot out his energy whenever he wants and mind controls people too. So even though he was technically still sealed for most of the film, it seemed to be because he was allowing it. He takes over the computers and begins to start hunting the humans in earnest later on.

That felt like cheating the premise a bit here. You’d think that the humans are at least safe until they run out of time or the container breaks. Letting the villain be able to bust through that just made the situation even more unwinnable. Now based on the cryptic dreams of the future, it may not have mattered but you should at least afford the heroes some hope.

I will say that the main characters do act like classic horror characters in the sense that they do not make the smart decisions even when their lives are on the line. Forget the evil supernatural stuff for a minute. You’re in a rather rough neighborhood, why go outside after dark into the back alley? I think he was going for a smoke or something but naturally he is surrounded and then murdered. The people who got destroyed by their mind controlled colleagues get a little mercy from me because that’s not something you could really predict.

Going outside like that was not smart though even if the whole thing is tragic. Then you have the priest who is someone you can pile a lot of the blame on. He is putting the characters in a really rough situation without proper context so they have to figure it all out slowly. Even when he sees all the signs that they are running out of time, he mainly just panics. By the end he finally has his moment in the final hour. So he ends strong but it would have been nice if he had a better role in the first half. Perhaps he could have helped with some supernatural support right? Although his faith was clearly shaken from the start.

The movie has a lot of weird visuals the whole time like a pigeon being crucified and different people melting into worms and shooting up ooze. So needless to say, it’s the kind of film that could make you a bit queasy. It’s also traditionally violent at times but the bigger focus is definitely on the weird elements here. You could really cut all of those out and that would make the film work better.

There’s also that sense of claustrophobia here as the heroes technically are in a big building but have no way to get out because of the sheer number of enemies outside. When the enemies want to get in, there will be nothing to stop them. Then with each member of the research crew starting to go bad, even the indoors is no longer safe. I have to give the film a lot of credit for how big the main cast was. You even start to lost track of some of them after a while which is intentional because even within the film that happens to a few of them. When someone is gone for a while you have to wonder if something might have happened to them. That slow feeling of dread works really well.

If the film had just stuck to that instead of going more for the edge then it would have worked out a whole lot better. Perhaps the approach of trying to create that authentic evil atmosphere is ultimately what really backfired here. I think it would have been interesting if the film had delved a little more into the ramifications of the devil being an alien too. There is a good amount of dialogue and pondering in general but not usually on that angle. The writing is solid though so the film will hold your interest the whole time.

Overall, Prince of Darkness is a really intense film to be sure but it’s not one that I would recommend. It gets a little too grisly as the film goes on and the heroes were never given a proper fighting chance here. If anything it felt like they were being toyed with and depending on how you interpret the ending, there was never going to be a path to victory. So it makes for an intense watch but one that ultimately ends up feeling futile. I’d like to see another try at this one with the characters gradually vanishing or being pit against each other but without the devil actually being able to control them. As long as the seal holds, his main weapons should all be that of trickery and manipulation. Any direct action just widens the gap way too much.

Overall 2/10

M3gan 2.0 Review

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This movie is pretty interesting because it has a downright excellent premise but executes it in one of the weakest ways I could have imagined. The script tends to need a lot of work, the fight is basically just teased for 90% of the movie, and the final climax/ending aren’t as good as they should have been. So in that sense the movie left a lot of meat on the table, but on the other hand…I still had a good time with it. I would say it is still a good movie even if it’s not amazing.

The movie starts off by introducing us to a new robot named Amelia. She is essentially a weaponized version of M3gan who can be sent into active war zones or other places that could be dangerous. At first this looks promising but then she goes rogue and appears to want to end humanity. This forces the government to locate M3gan’s creator, Gemma. M3gan shows up beforehand to warn her that this will happen but the government shows up with threats anyway. Gemma knows she will have to stop this new threat but doesn’t want to rebuild M3gan. Will she be able to stop the new android or will she be forced to turn to her old enemy?

Naturally I like a good hero/villain teamup. It tends to make for an exciting plot and that’s the benefit of being a sequel. Long time horror fans may be dismayed to learn that the horror is mostly gone though. The intro scenes with Amelia temporarily bring back the horror with a few jump scares and vicious murders but after that this becomes a full on action movie. Fortunately I love action movies so that worked for me. This has that classic summer blockbuster feel to it.

Lets get into the negatives right away though. You are looking forward to M3gan fighting Amelia. That is pretty much the core point of this film’s plot. Despite that, they don’t really fight until the very end of the film. The first time they meet, M3gan is in the wrong body. After that, Amelia is in the wrong body and they are interrupted before they can fight. Finally we get a battle near the end but M3gan was already super weakened so it still wasn’t an even fight. They made a massive mistake here if you ask me.

We should have gotten a big fight in act 1, then the rematch down the line. It felt like that was the obvious play right? I would also say another weakness is that the writing is generally pretty weak. Lots of lines that will just make you wince or even worse, cringe. They try to write M3gan as being very direct and without shame so she tends to get more of these lines. It’s a tough balance because she also has the best lines but some of them are just being crude for no real reason. I’m hoping they can strike a better balance in the next film.

Finally one more negative would probably be the long singing sequence we get from M3gan. It’s clear this was meant as a funny joke but it’s another example of the film’s poor execution since it drags on for too long. I think it would have been funny if it was just at half the length that it was. Unfortunately that didn’t happen.

On the character side, Gemma is okay I suppose. She seems a bit passive the whole time and it feels like she isn’t properly recognizing the incoming threat here. Amelia is certainly dangerous and a bunch of government fighters even broke into her house. Deciding not to rebuild M3gan is one thing, but she should be telling Cady what is going on and getting a plan together with all of them. That would at least allow them to prep. Otherwise it feels like she is setting them up for a loss here.

At least she does get some action later on. Those fight scenes were fun and hopefully if we were to get more films, she would remain as one of the fighters. We could get a nice tag team with her and M3gan eventually. If you like Gemma’s sidekicks though, they don’t do a whole lot here. A few scenes sprinkled in but yeah I wouldn’t expect much out of them. This is not the humans’ show. In general most of the humans just look bad. We get the rich entrepreneur character who is easily seduced by Amelia.

In general the romance in the film is pretty weak. The classic villain getting seduced trick never ends up being convincing. Then we have Gemma going out with Christian but apparently, he’s not even really her type? M3gan gets some incriminating details on her searches and yeah that’s rough. Sounds an awful lot like settling and that’s a recipe for disaster. It’s not a big part of the film so I’m hardly going to dwell on it, but yeah that was a rough look for the heroine.

As for M3gan, she definitely dominates throughout her screentime. She is the most prepared out of all the characters by fault and also has way more charisma than the others. That really goes a long way here. Additionally, she can fight so at least the heroes have someone who is ready. I also thought Amelia made for a good villain. We didn’t need any grand speeches or motivations besides ending humanity. Amelia just does what she wants and that works well for an evil A.I.

The special effects are pretty good and the soundtrack was generally solid. The movie has good pacing and really flies by. I also enjoyed the tone as this movie is really just trying to give you a fun time throughout. I can always respect that. That’s why I’d ultimately say this was a good title. It just feels like a wasted opportunity since it could have easily been great.

Overall, M3gan 2.0 is what happens when you land an amazing premise but forget that you still have to execute it with care. That said, I still recommend it. You don’t get horror films that turn action like this too often. I imagine it feels like Terminator 2’s initial premise when that film was coming out. It’s a lot of fun and I would definitely check out a third film. As a franchise M3gan may not have lasted very long but I definitely will remember the character so in a way you could say that she did become a true horror icon.

Overall 6/10

Brain Dead Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Okay this is a weird film right off the bat. There are lot of dream sequences here and the whole time you have to wonder what is real and what isn’t. I definitely haven’t seen many films like this so it will forever be a memorable experience. Of course that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’ll be a good one. Some of the dreams lean a little too hard into the lead’s worries about what his wife is doing when he’s not around and I wanted to see more of him really going crazy. It’s worth the watch as you try to figure out what is going on but I dare say there isn’t a ton of replay value here.

The movie begins with introducing us to Rex who is a top neurosurgeon. He’s one of the best in the business but unfortunately it isn’t a very profitable one and money has been tight. It’s at this point that he is approached by Jim, an old “pal” of sorts. This guy has been doing really well for himself and he has an offer. See, there’s this guy named John who came up with something absolutely brilliant but then went crazy and ran off. They found him but John has total amnesia of what he even invented. So the company wants Rex to go into his mind and fix it. The operation has a large chance of just leaving John braindead though which Rex feel is completely unethical.

Of course, money does talk though and so Rex decides to go through with this after facing more pressure and a homeless guy showing up to wreck one of the last available brains. The operation seems to work…except now Rex’s life is being turned upside down. One day he wakes up as John, the next scene he’s in a plane that is about to crash, etc. It’s like Rex is trapped in a series of unending nightmares with absolutely no way to escape. He needs to find some way to grab onto reality….but can he do it?

How much you enjoy the film will really come down to how much you enjoy the dreams. After a point it becomes clear that most of this isn’t actually happening and so I could picture some people totally checking out. That’s definitely valid, although for me I kind of enjoyed it because I just liked how crazy it got. The situations would be absolutely wild and I also was glad that Rex didn’t let them get to him for quite a while.

He kept on insisting that he was Rex no matter what anyone else was saying. Even with the evidence against him, he wasn’t going to declare defeat. That is the right way to handle such a crazy circumstance. You have to fight for yourself even when nobody else will. No matter how many times the doctor kept trying to say that Rex was just a patient, Rex wouldn’t buy it. I thought that was pretty commendable.

Of course like I said in the intro, he does let himself get a bit too worried about Jim the whole time. Now, sine he is trapped in these dreams I guess to a certain extent he has it extra tough since he doesn’t really know what is real and what is fake but it keeps turning out that his wife is going with Jim or just being super oblivious and not realizing that he is pulling the moves on her. In either case, Rex needed to handle things better instead of getting super drunk and ruining the meeting with a big investor. Those were times when Rex didn’t do so good.

Othe times he tends to be very proactive like when he was in the ocean and had to swim fast or when the crazy guy hid in his closet and Rex had to act normal for the nurse. I should mention that while the film isn’t overly violent, there are a few jump scares/shock value moments. You will see the brain for example and some people have pretty serious injuries. So definitely keep that in mind, this film is certainly not holding back in that respect.

Corporate worked well as the big villains here. I liked how they were in total control the whole time and were constantly waiting for Rex to make a mistake. They can’t lose either way. Either John goes braindead in which case the secret is taken to the grave, or they get his memory back and coerce it out of him. Corporate is always looking at the big picture here and they are certainly ruthless. In the dreamworld it even seems like they might disappear Jim if he fails them. So yeah the stakes are definitely high there. The film also established pretty well that this is a dangerous area too like with the random homeless guy and speeding cars everywhere. Adds a bit to the chaos and that’s when the film is at its best. Just hitting you with endless chaotic moments with no time to breath. The film should really never slow down to try and talk to you, just keep going full speed ahead.

I would have liked the wife to have had more of a role there. Have her poking around and finding clues about what corporate is doing or something like that. with how the film is set up that may have been a little difficult though. Maybe she could be in the dreams aside from the illusion version of her? Would have been a nice way to have given Rex a bit more of a fighting chance at least although he would be in for a tough time either way.

Overall, Brain Dead is a very interesting film. I give it kudos for the unique approach and it is the kind of film that will keep you guessing. At the same time, I do think they really could have done a bit more with it. Either double down on the dreams and make them even more chaotic without a definitive ending to tell you what actually happened or maybe throw in an objective. Like having Rex find out that he has to survive for 3 hours in the dream to return or something. It would essentially be a different movie though. The ending isn’t the most satisfying so that could have made a difference but if you’re looking for a really weird film to check out, this is definitely right up your alley.

Overall 5/10

The Ghost of Yotsuya Review

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It’s time to look at a well known foreign horror film and unfortunately this one was pretty bad. I was expecting some decent entertainment and all but in the end it takes way too long for the ghost to show up. It turns out to be more of a messed up drama for most of the film and the villains stay really annoying throughout. It’s always one of the risks you run when you have a film built around a bunch of villains. You’re waiting for justice but in a film like this it will be a long time coming.

The movie starts with a guy named Iemon wanting to marry Oiwa. He had a bit of a deal with her father but the guy changed his mind and it’s easy to see why. Iemon doesn’t seem like the most put together fellow around. He has let himself go and is patrolling the streets like a homeless person. Well, ultimately he decides to murder her father and his guards. Then he makes his move on Oiwa who essentially decides to get with him as long as he avenges her father’s death. Iemon wants to keep the charade up forever but one guy, Naosuke happens to have witnessed the murder and begins his blackmail. He basically wants Oiwa’s sister as his compensation and keeps on blackmailing Iemon. The two of them continue to sink deeper into this conspiracy.

Now this is really just a problem with the old Japan type films but the honor system goes way too far the whole time. The fact that both girls are willing to marry guys they don’t love just for the vengeance angle is too much. Oiwa at least doesn’t mind Iemon all that much but the sister didn’t like Naosuke at all and still goes through with this. All of their scenes are absolutely brutal. You’re just waiting for the ghost to show up already.

Unfortunately, the ghost angle isn’t a factor until the film is nearly over. So first you have to see Iemon humiliating Oiwa over and over again as he proves to be a terrible husband and even prepares to marry another girl on the side. His love for Oiwa wasn’t even true which just makes Iemon even worse of a character. Obviously he was a villain/murderer from the start but at least if he really loved Oiwa there would be some sense of humanity left. Instead, he is just a shallow guy who gets bored quickly and then continues to inflate his body count.

He can’t stop himself from murdering more and more people and that does not help his final goals. It just gets him deeper into trouble. Not that you feel bad for him but he takes up an enormous amount of screentime. What really hurts the film is that there are no likable characters. The two girls look naive and too trusting for most of this. They are also far too passive as they just wait for the guys to take revenge for them while they stay home. It’s pretty clear that the guys are getting nowhere fast.

As for the ghost, well she is fun to have around once she finally does make a move but even then it takes her a long time to actually take down Iemon. Also, right before becoming a ghost she did end up finishing off a baby so it’s not like they were shaping her up to be a hero either. The whole film is extremely drawn out even though it technically isn’t even a very long film. Mix that in with all of the characters being pretty bad and this was a recipe for disaster.

I’m not a fan of the old time aesthetic and this certainly wouldn’t change my mind on that. You will be left shaking your head the whole time and I wouldn’t even be able to blame you. The whole honor system just doesn’t work and I want the characters to be louder and more pro active. A guy like Iemon should never have gotten as far as he did. Even at the very end of the film he puts up way more of a fight than he should have. Is this guy secretly an absolute swords master or something?

He got too much hype and too much screentime. I’m rarely going to be able to really tolerate a film centered around a super unlikable villain without either seriously amazing supporting characters or a great hero to root for that takes him out in the end. A film like this one is just too depressing and dreary the whole time. It doesn’t leave you with any hope for the characters and is just not a fun one to watch. At the end of the day it forgets about the film’s main objective which is to be a fun and enjoyable film. There is nothing like that here.

Overall, A film like Ghost of Yotsuya was really doomed to fail from the start. The core plot is already not that engaging and you would need either a good amount of humor or something light hearted to balance it out. This film is taking itself deadly serious and so that means it is necessarily going to be a rather tough watch. You need to either have a really happy ending at the ready to balance the tough journey or for the villain to start getting his just desserts at a much earlier time. If you aren’t able to do either of those things, then the film is always going to be in a rather rough spot. There isn’t really any way around that. If you want to watch an authentic horror title, check out Godzilla instead.

Overall 0/10

Messiah of Evil Review

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It’s time for a zombie type of film and unfortunately I can assure you that it is not one of the good ones. There is no real escape for the heroes and while the film maintains a rather spooky atmosphere throughout, it never ends up taking advantage of this. What could have been a really intense cerebral horror film quickly becomes just another slasher to have to contend with. That is unfortunate but not entirely unexpected.

The film starts with a girl named Arletty deciding to look for her father. He left her a note saying not to do this as well as a whole book of notes but she doesn’t have time to read them in depth. When she arrives in town, the place is rather odd. One of the travelers at the gas station seemed rather off and then the town itself is fairly empty. There is an eccentric guy named Thom who is surrounded by girls and lives a life of luxury but it all seems rather empty. Arletty wants to continue on her mission but it does seem like the longer she stays here, the greater her risk of death will be.

Naturally she should have listened to her father’s note telling her not to follow him. That would have ended things right away and surely he wouldn’t have just sent her that notice for no reason right? She also should have read the whole book right away and planned for the worst. Now it’s not like there is a whole lot she could have done against the crazy zombies that would end up appearing but at least she would have been pretty well prepared. Instead she doesn’t really have a plan and always ends up being at a disadvantage.

She’s also a bit too trusting with letting Thom and his friends stay over right away. She doesn’t even know these people and odds are that they were crazy. Even by the end of the film Arletty is forced to take on more of a spectator role here as she can only wait until the inevitable happens. It’s always more fun when the protagonist can actually do a lot of stuff but in this case you could say that she was just a participant in a conspiracy that was much bigger than her. She wasn’t exactly the central focus this time.

Then we have Thom who is a bit of a space case. He tries to be calm and collected at all times but it can feel like a mask. He is quick to subtly threaten one of the girls when he feels like she has been too rude. Thom does well in the fighting near the end but ultimately it wasn’t really enough to turn the tides.

The characters are battling what is effectively an endless horde of monsters after all. Take one down and a few more will take the original’s place. It’s not like the main characters got a debriefing on this either so they’re going into the situation cold. The zombies are all cannibals, so the deaths are particularly gruesome. The film is going for max edge here and that’s really where you knew the film couldn’t come back from. It’s why I’m generally not a big zombie fan, it will usually lead to these kind of events which is hard to write around.

Since the heroes don’t really stand a chance, it also runs into the issue of the whole thing feeling futile. When the characters literally have no possible way to win, it is harder to get engaged into what is happening. If the film kept the threat vague then it might be able to survive on the atmosphere alone, but throw everything else in and you’re not likely going to come back from that.

The film has the cops show up at one point which made for an interesting addition, but unfortunately they are dispatched quickly. The way it was done was also unfortunate because it underscored that you could be turned into a zombie without being bit previously. I interpreted it as the red moon being able to transform anyone who is caught in its rays but of course then that makes things even more unfair. The villains also have a supernatural leader who has intense abilities of his own. That really doesn’t help the case for the heroes.

So the film ends up feeling rather mean spirited with the heroes having no chance and you just slowly watch as they end up dying. There’s not a lot of fun to be had with a premise like that and the film should have tried becoming an action title instead. At the very least, it does serve as a reminder that zombie films are not often going to be very good. If you see that as a genre then you know that you’re probably doomed.

Considering how dreary the film was overall, I’m surprised the ending didn’t have a little more pop. By the end of the film, we know that humanity is going to be destroyed but it’s handled in a very quiet way. I would have preferred that the invasion begins and that’s how the film ends. You may as well have things end in an exciting way like that right? It would certainly make the ending more exciting and memorable at least.

Overall, Messiah of Evil is definitely a film I’d stay far away from. There are no real positive moments to offset all the negatives here. The characters are pretty bad and the film just gets way too gruesome the whole time. It sets the tone early with the gas station murder. If the main characters could have done more damage and set this up as a more even fight then that could have helped. Have the zombies be traditionally slow or something. By allowing them to move at normal speeds like a human, it just makes them completely unstoppable. I don’t see how anybody is supposed to fight off powerful creatures like that.

Overall 0/10

Baron Blood Review

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It’s time for a movie that you could tell was going to go off the rails almost immediately. The characters are pretty bad and the whole film is one of the biggest compilations of self inflicted wounds that I have seen in a very long time. Definitely not going to go down as one of the next big horror films and I can see why nobody talks about this one. The baron is not a winner.

The film starts off with a guy named Peter deciding to visit his relatives. He wants a break from the usual routine of school work and what better way than by learning about the legend of Baron Blood? This guy was an ancestor of Peter’s after all. It doesn’t matter that the Baron was known to be an incredibly evil man. Peter is curious to know more about him. So when Peter learns about a spell that could summon the Baron back to life, he doesn’t hesitate to use it. Everyone warns him about this but he doesn’t care! After using the spell, mysterious things begin to happen. People begin to get murdered but surely this isn’t because of what Peter did right? There was another spell to destroy the Baron once more but due to a lot of carelessness, it ends up being burned. Is there any way to stop the Baron?

I think the biggest problem right away with Peter is that he has virtually no remorse for what he’s done. People are literally being murdered in gruesome ways and he’s still interested in how the spell worked. He continues to act fascinated and excited by what is going on even after the negative effects have been well under way. That doesn’t sound like a good character to me. In fact, that sounds like a pretty bad one. He’s more focused on seducing Eva and getting more scientific experience under his belt than saving the day.

For that reason, he was definitely never going to rank. I would also say Eva takes some guilt here for going along with this. Peter may be crazy but she doesn’t have to follow his lead. She could have just said no instead of letting herself get seduced immediately and going against her better judgment. It certainly didn’t go very well for her, that’s for sure. She was a big believer in the supernatural events going on so that’s even more reason why she should have taken a step back there.

Then we have Karl who isn’t as bad but he probably could have taken a harder stance in telling Peter to knock off his interest in the occult. I just can’t put a lot of blame on him because these are all adults so you have to trust in some common sense. Karl went about his life as normal and then once he found out about the threat, he got to work. He certainly felt more prepared than the other two and could at least talk with the cops without sounding crazy while the other two would phrase things in the craziest possible ways.

It’s a tried and true trope of the characters talking to the cops about monsters and actually thinking they will believe it. No shot, and I can’t even blame the cop there. It is a tough tale to swallow. As for the Baron, yeah he doesn’t have a ton of character or anything like that. He likes torturing people, that’s about the extent of personality that he has. He goes around wrecking everyone as much as possible. I guess he also seems to like Eva quite a bit so he has that trait as well which doesn’t really help matters.

You won’t be remembering this guy for very long. I suppose he is at least smart enough to be able to use a disguise and trick the heroes but that doesn’t take a whole lot of skill here tbh. Just about anyone would be able to pull the wool over these fighters! Even aside from the characters, the film had a bunch of issues though. For starters, I found it to be way too mean spirited. Since this guy’s whole thing is torture, he goes around torturing everyone.

All of the deaths are pretty brutal and the film comes across as rather mean spirited There isn’t much of a story beyond the carnage and even though the film’s runtime is fairly short, this will feel like a rather long experience. The movie actually could have been a bit better if the baron had pretended that he’d turned over a new leaf or something. That would have been far more interesting and then you would have an excuse for less violence in the meantime.

I suppose I’ll give the film credit for having some fairly good effects here. Everything is very practical and that can be a lost art at times. Meanwhile the script is fun enough with everyone talking all proper. It doesn’t make up for the writing of course as that is still a lost cause overall but at least that is a silver lining.

Overall, Baron Blood is definitely a film that I would advise you to avoid. In a way it almost feels like the original blueprint to a classic slasher film. The whole film is about the kills and the heroes being unable to do anything here as even they are captured and outmaneuvered. There aren’t any bright spots to raise the film up from the lower levels and you can do better with even the average horror film. Now that’s saying something since the whole genre tends to be on the lower side. That’s just how bad this film was. You can absolutely pull off a jerk main character but in that case I need a more satisfying ending for him. It felt like this guy wasn’t intended to be written like an antagonist, even though he absolutely was one. Never forget that the entire murder spree was 100% his fault. The Baron had been trapped by an immortal spell to suffer forever thanks to a witch and Peter ruined it just for kicks.

Overall 1/10