Tag Archives: Horror

It Follows Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It Follows is one of those films that was going to have a lot of trouble right out of the jump because of its own premise. I’m sure you could pull it off in a tasteful way but what movie is gonna do that? The worst part is that the premise itself would actually be really solid if you changed one key plot point from the the story into something else. That would be an immediate jump but it was not to be.

The film starts off with a girl running around for a while before giving up and letting some kind of monster destroy her. We cut to the main character Jay who is living her ordinary school life. Things have been going well with her boyfriend Hugh and so she decides to allow things to go to the next stage. Unfortunately it was not a good idea, Hugh lets her know that by doing the deed with him, she is now going to be pursued by a supernatural monster. It can’t be stopped and it can’t be destroyed. All you can do is keep running away from it for all eternity…or pass the curse onto someone else. He runs off and when the cops get involved it turns out that “Hugh” was a fake name so it’ll be difficult to find him. Unfortunately the curse is very real so now Jay has a tough choice to make. Run or corrupt someone?

So you see where the premise is going to be annoying here. It’s a pretty obvious allegory and you get what they’re going for but if you picked any other method for transferring then this would be so much better. I like the idea of something that is pursuing you and will never stop. There’s a famous hypothetical about this of a snail chasing you across the world. One touch and you’re dead but in exchange you get 1 million a year. I think it sounds like a good bet because of how slow it is. In this movie that is the case as well, the creature is slow. It continues shapeshifting into different humans but can only move with the speed of a normal walk. I suppose it can jump far but that’s only once it is in range.

The main reason it is dangerous is because the main characters are teens and can’t afford to just be hiring an Uber all the time. That’s not the way this would play out. Also, everyone is naturally going to think you’re crazy for why you can’t just sleep at home and everything. I like that the rules aren’t super convenient for the villain either. Normal people can interact with the spirits, they just can’t see them. So what that means is you can have normal people try to beat them up. If you think of a good enough plan you can maybe prove its existence to the government although that plan is admittedly super high risk so I wouldn’t recommend it.

The monster also looks like just a normal person so you can’t really tell that it is the hunter until you notice that nobody else can see it. There’s also the fact that it is walking towards you but of course there are lots of reasons for normal people to walk towards you as well. Again, lots of interesting things to talk about with the premise itself and you could make a really good horror/thriller out of it. The movie doesn’t really make the best use of this story though.

So of course most of the characters are super annoying. Even after Jay has just been super traumatized after being drugged and betrayed by her boyfriend, you have at least 2 guys who are fairly eager to have fun with her as well. Yeah there’s the guise of doing it to help her out with the curse but admittedly I didn’t really buy that. Either way it’s not a great move for her to do this since that’s just dooming someone else. It’s also a rebound by definition since she would still be with Hugh if he hadn’t betrayed her. Even with the whole life or death thing going on, you just can’t move on that fast. The only heroine thing to do once you’ve obtained the curse is to either find a way to destroy the monster or to escape it forever. Passing it on is not a good idea.

We know the monster can be temporarily destroyed like when she shot it a bunch of times. The respawn takes a while so you could also try to have some kind of a trap and just keep murdering it every few hours once you get the timing down. With enough time there are plenty of things you can set up to get the monster. It has super strength but otherwise doesn’t have nearly the range of crazy powers that other horror monsters tend to have. So at least it does avoid my usual issue of the monster being completely unbeatable.

As a small aside, the characters are definitely way too kind and sympathetic to “Hugh” once they track him down. They all sit down and have a nice chat instead of immediately trying to beat him up and murder the guy. Why would you act nice to someone who has just doomed your friend to oblivion? The whole scene was annoying, get the info out of him and then beat the guy up or something. He’s clearly not a good guy and is definitely selfish to the max.

Another thing to note with the curse is that it seems like previous owners of the curse can still see the monsters. So in theory in some of the shadier parts of town you might have a whole community that can see them since the infection would spread quickly. That would make it even easier to stop the monster since it generally only cares about the next in line. So then you could still have like 20 people throwing stuff and firing guns or something. Anything would be better than the pool plan that they tried in the film. That whole sequence made me shake my head. Especially the main guy using the gun because he seemed to be terrible at following the action and understanding where the monster was. I thought it was pretty clear from how many objects he was tossing. Also, how do you start aiming at someone else? The monster is invisible so it’s hard to see how you would even come close to hitting one of the friends since she would be in clear view.

The characters did not really handle the monster particularly well but hey I suppose they are teens so you’re supposed to cut them some slack. It’s why you need to age the characters up quite a bit to make the film a lot more intense. Lets see the monster handle the grown ups trying to fight it out. Yeah the monster is strong but perhaps martial arts would be able to take it down. Ultimately there are a lot of question marks here which is fun because it makes the monster mysterious. Hopefully the next film just executes better on what is a fairly interesting premise.

Overall, It Follows had an interesting plot but really couldn’t make the most of it. You’d need a fresh set of characters for sure and also switch the method for obtaining the curse. Tone down all of the teen angst, loveless romance, and lets focus on how spooky it is to have monsters after you like this. I’d also like to get the government involved eventually because that would really add a whole lot to the story. It would really upgrade things for the better. In the meantime, I would say to avoid this film for now. There will be a better title with this plot eventually.

Overall 3/10

They Live Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a classic alien invasion title but with one big twist, what if they had already invaded? It’s a pretty clever film and one that has aged pretty well overall. I do have some issues with it that keep me from being able to completely recommend the title but on the whole I had a good time. The film knows how to have a good action scene when needed and of course that is crucial.

All right so the film starts off by introducing us to Nada who is homeless and just trying to get by right now. He finds a construction gig and gets to work but the people at the nearby church are acting a little strange. Nada busts in there and grabs a pair of glasses. When he puts them on, he is able to see the truth. Aliens have already infiltrated the Earth, posing as most of the rich people. The class wars have been manufactured! Every TV channel and radio program is giving subliminal messaging to make people lose their free will. The media is not on the side of the humans! Nada needs to quickly get some more people to the cause but is it already too late?

So yeah a very interesting premise right out of the gate here. I thought this was super interesting for sure. Nada isn’t always the best at handling his business though. For example after he gets his glasses, one of the first things he does is to start picking a fight with a nearby alien. That’s really not the best idea out there, like why would you even do that? Definitely a shaky decision at best. He does take out a number of them with his gun but the guy has no plan and is super outnumbered so eventually he has to retreat. We do get a reason for why he was acting so erratically later on though.

It turns out that the glasses work like a drug and give you an artificial high while you are wearing them. This means that you are going to be acting a little overconfident and then crash afterwards. Nada finds this out the hard way and is lucky that he survived after letting his guard down and having a lady named Holly shove him out of a window. The whole scene was super unexpected and at the same time, you do feel like Nada should have been more careful. He did literally keep her at home against her will as a prisoner so of course she would strike back as soon as possible. Anyone else would do the same in a heartbeat.

Where Nada looks worse is when he trusts her later on. Remember, we know that the big shots at the media company are in on this and she is one of the big supervisors. A little suspicious eh? She does make for a compelling character but just not someone that you should really be trusting at all. That is, as long as you have some kind of functioning survival instincts. If you don’t, then I can let you pass a little easier there.

Nada also has a long fight with Frank in order to convince him and while I think it was drawn out a little too much, I give the film points for its bravery here. I don’t think just about any film would really even try to have an action scene go on for this long. It’s just a crazy thing to even suggest and yet they pulled it off. That’s pretty impressive. The fight stops and starts so many times that it will probably fake you out at least 3-4 times. You wonder how either character can even stand up after that as it’s absolutely brutal.

In general the film isn’t so violent but that fight definitely gets real intense. There is a body count to be sure but this feels more like a summer blockbuster than a horror most of the time. So it doesn’t feel particularly gruesome even if you know it technically is on the back-end. The film does have some rather unnecessary fanservice though. They definitely could have gotten by without that. The film has its hiccups as I said, but on the whole the story is still engaging enough where you can get past that.

It also has a good degree of humor that works well with all of the serious moments. It’s never over the top goofy or anything like that to get you out of the mood but the heroes know how to banter and have a good time with each other throughout. It all comes down to this film having a lot of action and the runtime is also fairly short so you really have to move fast the whole time. I think this would make for a really good TV show. There are a lot of ways you could stretch it across multiple seasons because the sheer amount of moving parts if extensive. Then of course you could even have a whole saga about the events that take place after the ending. Clearly things are going to change a lot now and the question is if the humans can possibly win or if it’s too late. I feel like by this point it is probably too late for them but they can still last for a long while using guerilla warfare tactics.

Overall, They Live is a really interesting film. I do think aliens tend to make for a very interesting premise in general. Mix in the fact that they are shapeshifters who can appear as anyone and that becomes even more intense. The film isn’t really able to dive into every plot point here but that would be tough for any title to pull off because of how huge the actual storyline is the whole time. Either way I would recommend this title. It’s a storyline that we surprisingly don’t see as often as I would like so you really can’t pass up on any film like this. Even in real life they say you can never know someone 100%, well this film may make you a bit paranoid after that but it’s still worth the watch.

Overall 6/10

1408 Review

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Okay now we’ve got a psychological horror that handles itself pretty well all the way through unlike the Shining. I thought 1408 was pretty solid and had a lot going on for it. It’s a pretty well balanced movie with a good story and some pretty spooky moments. It handled the idea of how can you trap someone in a hotel room pretty well and is worth the watch. The cast is very small but fortunately Mike really nails it as the main character. He’s someone who is very easy to follow the whole time.

The movie starts by introducing us to Mike who isn’t the nicest guy. He doesn’t even humor the owners of a hotel as they try to tell him how haunted it is. Instead he just dives in and makes a mockery of the whole thing. See, Mike is a writer who visits all kinds of spooky hotels and motels in order to debunk all of the horror stories surrounding them. He doesn’t believe in the supernatural one bit and takes pleasure in knocking them down. The next spot on his list is room 1408 at the Dolphin hotel. The manager Gerald begs Mike not to go into the room but Mike doesn’t care. He’s going to debunk yet another spot. Unfortunately this place seems a little more serious than the others, in fact…he’s having a hard time getting out. Has Mike finally picked a fight with an opponent that he just cannot defeat?

Mike is a jerk but that works really well for a film like this. I like when the main character is so confident in the fact that spooks don’t exist. He absolutely relishes in proving his point and the guy is mean to everybody. He’s always got a sarcastic remark at the ready and it takes a while for his confidence to fade. I think part of why this is fun is because in most cases like in real life you’d be on his side. (Not with the rudeness but at least the confidence that the hotel room isn’t haunted) The good thing about people being superstitious is that you can probably get the room at a discount usually.

So when he starts to be overpowered by the specters, well that would have happened regardless of how confident he was. So at least this way he got to have some laughs in first. The hotel room is definitely very powerful as we see it command many abilities. Full on ability to submit hallucinations, moving matter through the cosmos, impersonation, etc. How much of this is pure telepathy is hard to say but either way it isn’t going down easily. In a lot of ways you could say it’s like Mike is trapped in purgatory. He is forced to relive his most painful moments over and over and over again. That’s probably the scariest part of the whole ordeal. Not the physical pain but the fact that it may not have an end and will keep on looping forever and ever. That’s where the true despair begins to set in.

The film can get a little violent when we see images of the previous tenants but for the most part this is definitely more about the atmosphere. Like Mike being powerless to watch the hotel tell his wife to come over so that she can be trapped as well or reliving his daughter’s death. The room slowly works to just tear apart his mind bit by bit and it’s a really intense tactic. The room just physically beating him up wouldn’t be nearly as effective. It does a little bit of that too though like the window slamming on his hands or getting blasted with hot water. It’s just more of a side effect as opposed to that really being the focus here.

One thing that also adds to the film is how normal things appear at first. Like yes the room is haunted but the electrician still shows up to help Mike fix the cooling system and things like that. He’s not completely isolated the whole time but it slowly begins to get to that point more and more. By the time he realizes the danger he is in, it’s just too late. The door is impossible to break down and yeah the window is open but there is nowhere to go to. The room strategically does allow for Mike to destroy himself but that’s about it. The room continues to pressure him into taking his own life which is when he would be truly defeated.

I’ll admit that the backstory parts tend to be the least interesting though. We see the flashbacks of him and his wife and their daughter. It’s going through some emotional beats but the whole time you’re just waiting to get back into the main struggle against the room. That is absolutely where the real action is and since you already know what happened in the past, it’s not like there are any surprises left to be had there. That I would put as a slight weakness here.

The only other weakness for me would be the ending. I don’t think it was nearly as impactful as it could have been. In a lot of ways it’s surprisingly happy and the final stinger just doesn’t counter that much. What I would have personally liked more would have been for Mike to have “escaped” and the final scene is his wife asking him to close the windows. He doesn’t respond so she walks over but he’s gone and she sees the number 1408 above the door. She is now going to be the room’s next opponent. Perhaps too mean spirited but it would have been an intense ending that also works as sequel bait.

Overall, 1408 was a good movie. It succeeded in being really ominous the whole time and making things super difficult without it feeling completely hopeless. I also thought the first act with all of the build up was handled really well. I liked the owner of the Dolphin hotel who definitely did a good job of hyping the place up. He seemed to understand the rules pretty well and did everything in his power to try and dissuade Mike from staying. At the end of the day, there were just no words that could have pulled something like that off. Mike is the kind of guy who was going to attempt this challenge no matter what. With a good amount of fakeouts and creative trials, 1408 is a film that I would definitely recommend.

Overall 6/10

Final Destination 3 Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a really bad film and trust me when I say it’s reallllllly bad. At the same time, I didn’t quite think it was a 0 so we have that going for the film. It’s probably the best thing I can say about it to be honest. Like there’s really nothing good about it but I didn’t feel like it was worthy of being at the very bottom of the bucket. Small mercies and all right? Still, if you’ve made it to Final Destination 3 then I imagine you’re probably at least a slight fan of the series so maybe you’ll appreciate this one more than I did.

The film starts off with a bunch of annoying teenagers enjoying a fair and messing around. They all tend to be unlikable jerks and the kind of cliques that you’d want to avoid. If you see them coming then you need to cross the street but it’s probably too late by that point. They decide to head on a roller coaster but Wendy gets the feeling that they’re all going to die so she makes a huge scene and gets off. This starts a chain reaction of other kids getting off and the ones who stay all get destroyed. Now Wendy is feeling some survivor’s guilt and most of the other kids aren’t even grateful that she saved them. It was all coincidence and all that. The problem is that death is mad about the way they survived this and has decided to bump them off one by one. Can they find a way to stop such an all powerful being or is this going to be yet another lesson in futility?

This is a problem with a lot of supernatural slashers which is that we all know the heroes have absolutely no chance. What are you going to do against an opponent who can’t die, can’t feel pain, etc. Death is also immortal so he has all day while the main characters will eventually slip up. Death has no true weaknesses or limitations in his abilities either so yeah this is going to be a long film for the characters. It would help if Death himself actually appeared to gloat or something but he’s treated more like a natural disaster. He also seems like a troll since you could make the case that he gave Wendy the vision in the first place. Sort of like he is bored and just needs a reason to keep on murdering.

Right off the bat the film isn’t helping itself either with all the demonic imagery. Yeah it makes sense to remind the characters how evil everything is but they could have at least pretended to have a little subtlety. Then we also have to make one of the characters a total creep which is annoying. He basically exists to annoy and pester the girls. Even the main guy who we’re supposed to be sympathetic for, decides to take an inappropriate photo of one of the girls in his first scene. The film goes out of its way to make the characters super unlikable.

It’s one of those tactics I understand because then you don’t feel as bad when they are bumped off, but this backfires almost every time I would say. After all you’re now following a bunch of characters who are all just pretty bad. Also not all of them are as bad as the others so some of them feel like they are paying a price that is way too drastic. For example there are two girls who are not very smart, they shown to be rather shallow and really unaware of what’s going on but that’s hardly enough for them to get a grisly murder. You can’t put them in the same category as the perv or the guy who is always ready to pick a fight.

At the end of the day, almost all of the characters are going to get bumped off regardless. I suppose life not being fair could be just another message but it’s not one that I’m a fan of. Then you also have Wendy figuring out the death rules but it doesn’t really make much sense. At least in the first two films you had the mysterious guy throwing in a bunch of lore and helping to confirm what’s true but here she picks up on all of it with the flimsiest reasonings possible. You have a very hard time believing that she actually pieced the puzzle together like that.

For starters, the roller coaster deaths seem hard to predict the order of compared to the airplane. It would have been way harder to keep track of them all. Then conveniently there are people covering the photos at times right up until the murder happens. Again, it feels like death is just trolling the whole time which means the main characters are even more doomed than usual. Mix in how over the top violent it is and that’s a recipe for disaster. What you end up wishing for by the end is at least a few normal deaths. A relatively quick/painless death instead of it always having to be super disturbing.

Maybe have one character cheat death several times with some cool athletics or something. You can afford to lighten up the tone just a little bit instead of the films always being so somber. Even the shock ending isn’t quite as shocking as it could have been. I will say that the subway seems like a fun backdrop though so I’d be cool with that being the main setting for one of these films. Perhaps it would get old quick but I think there is some potential there. Not that this franchise as a whole has much potential though. First thing you need to do is come up with some actual likable characters. Something that can be used as a foundation to push the film forward. Throw in a real plot and definitely give Death at least the illusion of a weakness. If you do that then perhaps we can actually have an adventure.

Overall, Final Destination 3 is definitely the weakest entry in the series. It’s really just an excuse to have a bunch of characters all murdered in very grisly ways. You could say that’s always been the point but at least there was some semblance of a story stringing it all together. I would say this film barely even bothers with the pretense. The characters just keep getting bumped off and at no point in the film are you actually having any fun. It’s just all way too grim dark the whole time for any of that. Definitely stay far away from this film and you will be glad you did. You won’t be missing anything of value here.

Overall 1/10

I See You Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a big horror title guaranteed to chill you to the bone. At least, until the film makes the decision to basically replay the first half of the movie again and while you understand the idea for doing so…it definitely obliterates the film’s pacing up until that point. The movie is never able to regain its footing again after that.

The film starts off with a kid being kidnapped as the string of missing persons continues to grow. It’s hard to say who is behind this and so Greg is put on the case. Greg is good at finding the answers to the various mysteries in front of him but this time he is rather distracted because of some family issues going on. His wife Jackie cheated on him and so there is a lot of tension in the house and their son Connor resents her for it. Jackie just wants them to move on already but they’re not having it. Will their family drama be the issue that prevents the kidnapper from being caught?

First up, I think we have to recognize that being cheated on is not something that you just move past. It does make Jackie’s attempts feel a bit hollow here because that’s something you can never really take back. The family is ruined at that point, splitting up is really the only recourse and you hope someday to be forgiven but it’ll likely never happen. You’re just too far gone at that point. I don’t think she really does any favors for herself in hiding who the guy was either or talking about it more. It’s a bit relative since I don’t think there’s much she could have done to help the situation but it also creates a lot of ammo that can be used against her. As a result, she is ready to hide crimes as need be.

Then you have Connor who is definitely unlikable the whole time as well. He spends his whole screentime venting but it’s not like he’s coming up with any solutions or helping out. It’s fine not to get along with her anymore, but then he should just stay quiet and keep to himself. Making scenes the whole time and lashing out does him no favors. Ultimately he also handled a video game situation very badly I gotta say. I’m not expecting him to turn around or something but when you’re messaging with someone anonymously online, you never want to show that they’ve gotten the best of you. He needed to keep his cool and bluff or something. Instead he walked into every single response like an online rookie.

As for Greg, well he’s mostly handling the situation by just being super quiet at home. it’s a reasonable approach so no problems there and he is working pretty hard on the case without getting too distracted. He probably should have mentioned he was sending over a repairman to fix the window but for the most part he didn’t make any big mistakes there. Not a whole lot more to say about him in the first half here.

So you’ve got your basic plot here and you may be wondering, where’s the supernatural angle? Well I’m not sure exactly how much that angle is played up in the trailers and promotions but when watching the film that’s never really in your mind much. When the first kid is abducted you see him launched out of his bike as if by a ghost, but as this film plays itself up more as a crime thriller you’ll probably guess right away what the actual method was. You’re bound to have seen it in at least a few cases.

There are a few attempts at jump scares and such but yeah this one you could think of as more of a realistic horror the whole time about kidnapping. In some ways people would say that’s scarier anyway but I tend to be more partial to demons and such. That said, perhaps the twist is supernatural, I won’t spoil that for you. I had a lot of issues with the first half anyway like the characters being annoying and such but the second half is really where the film loses me.

We get to watch the first half all over again, but in first person view as we’re introduced to the missing pieces of the puzzle. Think of it like a mystery movie where the detective is explaining stuff, only this time you are seeing the whole thing in “real” time. It’s incredibly boring is my biggest issue. Like I said, you can piece together things pretty quickly but the film feels like it needs to smack you in the face with all the details. I think we could have just kept about 20 minutes of the reveal and cut out a ton of the fluff. You don’t need to see the true cause of every single mystery as you can infer a bunch of them as soon as the main reveal happens. If the movie had done that then it would have been good.

Part of the problem is also that the twist introduces some new characters to the film and none of them are likable. Two of these are professional criminals who engage in “Harmless” crimes but as you know, most of those tend to cause actual harm eventually. One of them is at least cautious and tries not to cause too much trouble beyond spreading germs and dirt everywhere, but isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. She is easily manipulated and has no survival sense at all. You need to keep in mind that if you are ever kidnapped and somehow manage to escape your kidnapper’s den in the middle of a forest out in nowhere’s land, the last thing you want to do is start yelling into your phone for the cops to pick you up.

Why? First up, the kidnappers are more likely to hear you and track you down well before the cops show up. Additionally, if there are any wild animals you’re likely to get eaten. The cops will be able to trace your cell phone if you have enough service for a call so just keep the line open. If you feel properly secluded you can whisper into the phone and try to give them directions but you have no idea where you’re at so that’s not going to help much either. Secondly, if you see a trailer car nearby with the doors unlocked and the lights on…don’t go in there. After all, that may have been where the kidnapper was taking you anyway. The odds of it being some innocent soul who is unrelated to the incident is close to 0.

Maybe there are other kidnapped people in there and you want to play the hero? Well that’s your best argument, but it’s still a weak one. Even if you manage to untie one or two of them, they’ll likely be too malnourished and beaten to aid you in a fight. So the kidnapper will still beat you and then eventually murder everyone. Your top priority is still to escape and get some backup. If you have to, just pick a direction and start running. If you’re lucky you’ll eventually make it to someone who can help but your survival odds greatly increase anyway.

Meanwhile the guy with the camera is another annoying character. He causes a ton of trouble the whole time and appears to be completely immature and even starting to fall into the darkness. He very quickly goes down the villainous path and while he is not the ultimate antagonist, I would still say he is a villain as well. The guy has a rough backstory and all but it’s not one that excuses his final actions. He’s a big reason why the second half of the film is super annoying to get through.

I will give the film this though, the ending is pretty solid. It unironically pulls off the popular Naruto meme where he starts to talk about his childhood and the villain cuts him off. Something similar happens here and it was great. Look, if you’re confronted with a mass murderer who has been causing a bunch of trouble, the last thing you care about is his backstory. I really couldn’t care less if I was in that situation and I’d just take him out too. You don’t see it very often in movies since they want to let the villain give his backstory for the narrative and all but this is way more satisfying. Not the kind of thing that can save a film but at least it ended on a high note.

I also liked the mask that the main villain uses. It’s definitely pretty spooky while also being original. It can be a little rarer to see a hit new design nowadays so that was definitely welcome. It’s probably one of the only times when the film is having a bit of fun since the whole thing is rather bleak and dark. The backstories are dark, the kidnappings are all super dark, etc. The fact that this has been going on for so long without anybody finding anything out is also really gruesome. With the previous victims not even being able to be very helpful, it shows just how far gone they were. Again I’d say it’s definitely more tragic thriller than horror as a result.

Overall, I See You is a film that had some really ambitious ideas but they didn’t really work out. The characters needed to be way more likable to pull this off. There also has to be a better way of adapting the second half without it all feeling so old and repetitive. Maybe somehow keep cutting between the two plots and hide that they are connected until later on. It would be difficult but definitely more entertaining. I definitely have a hard time believing some parts of the film like with the timeline and nobody noticing certain things though. The film did go to great lengths to make the case on why people would be particularly not alert but I still wasn’t having it. It had some unexpected twists and was ambitious but either way I would say this one is more of a skip.

Overall 3/10

Baffled! Review

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Films that involve time travel tend to be the best but films that have some kind of look into the future can also be pretty solid. It’s an ability that can be useful but I imagine in most cases it will just be annoying. After all you generally don’t know how far into the future the visions are and depending on the circumstances, it can be difficult to prove what you know. It’s an ability that you definitely have to navigate carefully and this movie does a good job of keeping things interesting. It’s a bit of a slow burn but with solid enough writing to get you through.

The film starts by introducing us to Tom who is one of the world’s greatest racecar drivers. Unfortunately he crashes out during the race because he started to see some rather odd visions. A lady yelling out some kind of address, a mysterious house, and the ocean. It was all quite bizarre but he is ready to get back into the races. At least he was hoping to do that but a lady named Michelle shows up and it turns out that his visions weren’t just random hallucinations. Something is about to go down in that house/mansion and now he has a duty to help out. So the two decide to form an alliance and head there while pretending not to know each other.

At the mansion, a lady and her daughter have just arrived because her old husband has been writing her. For a long time he was rather cold and distant but over the last few months the letters have really changed. Perhaps they can finally be a family again. Oddly enough, he isn’t there when she arrives. Instead there is just the old lady in a wheelchair who assumes he’ll be coming home soon, an odd couple that may be into drug dealing, and a rather creepy lady who always has a lot of makeup on. It’s a rather colorful bunch you might say. Is this all some kind of elusive trap and can Tom save them all?

In part I would say this plays out as a mystery since Tom is trying to find clues in order to figure out the true meaning of his visions before they come to pass. In other ways it plays out like a classic horror flick with jump scares and all of these creepy characters running around. It’s unlikely you will be scared at any point though with the happy music playing in the background. I could definitely see this being a pretty fun show because the dynamic with the main two is solid enough to carry most of the interactions. Then you’d have different issues in each episode.

Tom’s ability is also just weak enough where it is perfect to keep things from being too easy. For example at one point he sees a leaf, then later on he sees the leaf is leaking, and finally it turns out that it is being poured into a cup so somebody is about to be poisoned. It takes him a while to figure this out and ultimately the knowledge isn’t really able to help much as it’s one mystery he couldn’t solve in time. I figure this will be the case in many instances because the visions are just too vague and not always actionable. Still, he’s ready for the main mystery but he needs a lot of plot armor for it.

For example, at one point he hears someone calling for help so he chases the voice all the way down to the coast where he ends up falling into the ocean and nearly dying. Considering that he had just told Michelle he would be careful, it was definitely not the best decision. He lets his guard down a whole lot considering that he knows something foul is going on here. At least he does show up for the final fight of the film. The battle is actually rather good with a lot of back and forth. I was not expecting a big battle there so that was really a surprise. Definitely an excellent way to end things off.

Meanwhile Michelle gets a lot of credit here because she was super helpful. For starters she is the one who was pro active enough to go after Tom early on and then she did a lot of info gathering during the movie. She felt like a side kick who was truly carrying her own weight and not just being there in awe the whole time. She would also give Tom tips on how to use his abilities which was helpful more than once. It’s another reason why the duo work well together, they each have a part to play and handle their roles well.

As for the characters in this case, I felt the two suspicious people who kept driving off to town were mainly pointless. The big reveal of what they were actually doing is a bit underwhelming. It is fun to see the suspects gradually be taken off the case of course but they definitely could have been a little more relevant. Even the butcher character got more to do than these guys. That guy was also ready to hit Tom over the head with a wine bottle and seriously injure him so even with any twists I can’t exactly call him a good guy.

The daughter is the worst character in the film as she falls for the tricks way too easily. Yes, you have some magical mumbo jumbo going on with the amulet but before even putting that on she was already being naive and meeting with strangers. I don’t care who the guy said he was, you don’t go off by yourself and you definitely run home as soon as anything suspicious happens. Most of the film wouldn’t happen if she wasn’t tricked so easily.

Her mother also looks rather bad the whole time. She lets things get out of control way too easily and doesn’t take things as seriously as she should. The daughter’s 180 personality change is so drastic that it should raise every red flag in the book. I wanted her to do something serious about it. Finally the climax was her worst look as one of the villains basically tells her to sign a document that she is giving away her daughter. Instead of jumping into a rage and hitting anything that moves, the mom just yells “nooooo” and stuff like that. I understand that this is a fight that she couldn’t win, but there is nothing to lose at this point. You try to fight and do your best.

So the characters don’t always make the best decisions here but I did think the film was engaging. It has a bit of an older charm to it as this feels like one of those old school shows. It balances out all of the tones pretty well but at its heart it’s a pretty fun film that knows when to throw in a few jokes without going overboard. It’s got perfect balance all the way through.

Overall, I can recommend this to just about anyone because it feels like the kind of film that can appeal to most groups. It’s got a little bit of everything here and has a satisfying ending. The cliffhanger definitely gets you ready for that hypothetical sequel. The fact that this would have been semi plot based with fighting the same group would have been really cool. Ultimately this will probably always be a more obscure film but it definitely had some real quality to back it up.

Overall 7/10

Castlevania Requiem: Symphony of the Night & Rondo of Blood Review

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It’s time for the return of Castlevania with two more big titles. These titles definitely feel fairly polished and are more on the level of the GBA games than the previous SNES ones. One of them is more like a classic platformer like the originals and then another one has the more GBA vibe to it of going through all the rooms and locating power ups. In the end this makes for a good double pack and are definitely some of the stronger games in the Castlevania franchise.

First up we have Rondo of Blood with the best of the Belmonts leading the way. Richter need to stop Dracula once and for all so he rolls up to the castle to take him down. You have to travel through 9 stages as the hero and destroy all of the enemies and bosses that make the mistake of getting in your way. They’re strong, but make no mistake, you’re stronger! The gameplay is fairly self explanatory here. Focus on using your whip strategically so you land the hits without getting nailed by any of their counters. Taking any big hit here will always work in the opponent’s favor since there are so many of them. You also have a sub weapon available at all times based on the last one that you picked up. You can use it in the standard way or charge up hearts and use the super attack instead. Either way can be really useful.

The graphics are pretty solid and there’s even some voice acting which is pretty cool. That’s all you need to make me consider you to be a modern title after all. It goes a long way to making the game more cinematic the whole time which I definitely appreciate. The soundtrack is also really solid. Definitely some fun tunes to have a good time with here and all of the level designs are on point. It’s really a complete game on all sides. There are still some parts of it where you can see the age a bit like with not having too much of a story and the length of the game being fairly short but it’s still good overall. I also think the difficulty is not nearly as intense as some of the previous games so you can really enjoy going bar for bar with the opponent instead of running and hoping for a lucky shot the whole time.

Of course Symphony of the Night is the big one here. This time you are playing as Alucard and you have to stop Dracula once and for all. The problem is that Richter appears to have been taken control of by the mad king of evil or someone beneath him. There is also a mysterious lady running around the castle. Alucard needs to stay on task and not worry about all of these extra elements but does he have the abilities needed to destroy them all? He’s strong but the odds that he is up against are definitely fierce.

So this in the true Castlevania style now as Alucard has to slowly recover different artifacts to gain new abilities. There are quite a lot of collectibles in this game and a good deal of them aren’t even mandatory for completing the story. Now this is the balance that I like to see. Yeah you will still run into some real sneaky puzzles and obstacles that may not be the most intuitive but the game never feels impossible. A big thing that helps with this is how accurate and detailed the map is. While there are some rooms that don’t appear on the map, they tend to be the optional ones. If you aren’t sure where to proceed then you just have to go to each room and check again. It’ll take time but it’s not undoable.

You will find relics that boost your abilities, stats, summon new familiars, etc. There is also a classic level up system here so if you are too weak, just gain a few levels and try again. If you continue to do that then you will be all set. I got lost so many times on the way to the final boss that I was extremely overpowered. A few good attacks were enough to take the bosses down. I had also found lots of food and potions along the way so I had a good cushion if needed.

These are all things that added up to really make this a much smoother set of fights than it would be for someone who was trying to cruise their way through the game. Definitely don’t underestimate Castlevania, you’ll always have some tricky fights in there but this one sort of lets you set the difficulty since you can continue to accumulate power as much as you want to. I really enjoyed the freedom there.

Meanwhile the soundtrack and graphics are solid as well. This feels like a very complete game and the artstyle ages well. It will still look and play well 10 years from now. The fact that the game has two castles which pretty much doubles the play time is also really cool. I won’t say it fully doubles things though since you have all of your powers by this point. It’s another really satisfying thing as you get to barrel past everyone this time around. It lets you actually get to enjoy your new abilities rather than just ending the way a lot of other games would have. It’s something Shantae has always ben the best at historically but now this is another good example I can use. You should always feel more powerful and be able to run past obstacles by the end of a game. If the area takes you about as much time to go through the second time as the first, then I feel like something went wrong during development. Once you can fly in this game, it’s really a whole new ballgame.

Overall, Castlevania returns with a pretty good double pack here. I enjoyed both games and the sheer amount of story in Symphony was great. Throw in the full voice acting and it really took things to the next level. It definitely helps to set the standard for the series. My favorite game was from the GBA but even that didn’t have full voice acting like this one. You’ll get lost a lot and the game will take some time but you will have a good experience the whole time. It’s why I love having a level up system because at least when you get lost, you have the satisfying consolation of getting stronger. This is a pretty good jumping on point for fans who want to check out the franchise.

Overall 7/10

The Call Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film involving the 911 operations and how they really have to go through a lot. We hear about a ton of different crimes going on and the whole film is about being in the middle of a tragedy and how the operators ultimately won’t be able to stop everyone. It doesn’t make for the most enjoyable film that’s for sure.

The movie introduces us to Jordan who is one of the best in the business for 911 operators. She’s been at this for a while and knows how to very quickly enter in all of the combinations and do what she has to. Unfortunately she makes a big mistake in one case which causes the victim to be murdered so she transfers out of active duty and into a teaching role. She is pulled back in though when there is a big kidnapping case and Jordan is the only one with the skills to handle the call. Will she be able to save the victim this time or is it game over for her?

I’d say the main issue with this film is that it’s one of those movies that relies a whole lot on shock value. They want to really show just how bad the villain is so we have to watch large parts of his crimes in full detail. The scenes go on for a very long time and it’s all pretty tragic. A film that is more confident in its writing and overall abilities would leave more to the imagination and just hit us with the need to know bits. Instead this film goes all in on this to its own detriment. It doesn’t end up being a film that you would really want to watch at all as you’re ready to turn it off after the opening minutes.

Even the crimes we get over the intercom tend to mainly be rather grisly to remind people how tough the job is. For sure being a 911 operator is not something that would be for everyone. It’s incredibly difficult and high stress. For those reasons it is probably a good idea to have a film on it to remind people of that but this film just lacked any kind of subtlety which put it in a rough position right from the jump. I would say the film really shouldn’t have shown the first crime or at least made more parts of it be off screen. It’s just a real mean spirited intro.

Then for the main part of the film you at least figure Jordan will be taking the villain down before he can do much but he gets away with way too much. When we get to his base it seems like this guy has been in the business for a while which is extra grim dark and the girl was injured a whole lot before Jordan is able to get there. When the villain gets away with this much it just ends up making the end of the film feel like a very hollow victory instead of the full success that it should have been. It’s like something got lost midway through the film rather than it being a big success.

Jordan does her best as the main character and while she did make a huge mistake, it is something that could happen to anyone. She has seemingly had a spotless career up to this point and has handled many calls. Jordan also knew when it was time to leave active duty and did this in a way where she wouldn’t put anyone in danger by freezing up. Ultimately even by the end she was willing to put herself in a lot of danger to help the victim so I can appreciate that.

The ending of the film is going for that classic revenge kind of feel and I do think it’s one of the problems with shock value type films. You basically make the villains so evil and over the top that you can then give license to the heroes to do something equally cruel back to them. It gives the audience vindication and everything. I can see the satisfaction there but honestly the best kind of ending is just shooting the villain and keeping it moving. A quick death and you send a message to the rest of the crooks. It may not be as satisfying in the moment but it helps to prevent the film just getting more and more violent the whole time.

It goes without saying that the film is super violent and has a lot of dark tones so that’s another reason you wouldn’t recommend this title to just anyone. It’s also one of those films where anyone who stands up to the main villain isn’t going to do so well. For example we have someone who tries to call the cops and get attacked but from then on doesn’t look very good at all. You knew he was doomed from the start though and I don’t get how he lowered his guard. A second guy at the gas station even had a weapon and a drop on the main villain but then he lowers his guard to open the door?

Lets just keep this simple, if you see someone had kidnapped a girl you already know he’s deranged. So you don’t need to be looking around wondering what to do. You gotta keep him in front of you and either finish him off or hold him til the cops arrive. Opening the door to try and get the girl out isn’t going to help at all. 9 times out of 10 she is likely going to be in no physical position to help and if anything you just made it tougher because he can grab her as a hostage or something. You have to win the 1 on 1 fight first and then worry about all of that.

Overall, The Call is a pretty terrible movie all around. It’s super cliche’d and predictable the whole time. At most the only unpredictable part is how far the film takes things because I thought it would have at least some basic restraint. Definitely one you will want to skip at all times. There are no real positives to be said about this journey. This kind of plot at least regarding the kidnapping has been done way better in numerous films. This one is just relying too much on that classic kind of shock value that you would expect from a B movie. The whole thing has that forced dark tone about it. I’d definitely wait for a remake someday to iron out all the flaws and make this into a much better film. They can do it….I’m sure they can. It’s hard to get much worse after all.

Overall 1/10

House of Usher Review

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It’s time for a film that is sort of trying to be spooky but in a very low key way. It’s less about jump scares and more about wondering why the characters are all acting rather off. What part of the story are you not seeing in the background? Those are the questions you are meant to be asking yourself as the adventure goes on. Some parts definitely haven’t aged super well though, mainly the characters being super weak willed and just going along with what’s being said even when it makes no real sense.

This movie’s actually fairly short so they have to move fast. It starts with Philip heading over to a spooky mansion to see his fiancé Madeline. He is excited to bring her back home to Boston with him but the butler Bristol says that her brother Roderick is refusing anyone entry. Philip insists on being brought in and confronts the guy. Roderick explains that he and Madeline suffer from a rare ailment where their bodies are historically weak. Any light that is too bright or sound that is too loud will cause them to get weak or sick. They could even die from this affliction and it gets worse the older they get. Even eating is a chore since their sense of taste is too strong. Philip suspects thar Roderick is making this up and intends to take Madeline with him anyway. He will do so as soon as the night has passed but will he survive until then?

The house itself tries to bump Philip off on multiple occasions. Whether it is a hot pot slightly moving in the background or the stairs giving way, the building is not holding back. It’s not super powerful though so Philip is usually able to handle himself well enough. Roderick is really the main threat here but it depends on if he is lying or not. After all if he’s telling the truth, Philip could just punch the guy once and the extreme pain would probably knock him out. If Roderick is lying though, then it’s probably game over for him right out of the gate. Philip doesn’t really seem like the fighting type after all, especially with how docile he is.

I always like the old manner of speaking and how polite everyone is but this definitely shows the weakness to that approach. Philip puts up with too much here as Roderick continues to challenge him and forbid Madeline from spending much time with him. The guy will send her off to bed early and everything. Philip absolutely should have been standing up to Roderick here more and ultimately the final events of the film are his fault from this point on. He shouldn’t have left Madeline in any position for Roderick to be with her. Especially not when the plans were already made to leave.

I also have to give Madeline some big criticism here as well. She should have been speaking up for herself as well instead of constantly hiding behind Roderick and letting him dictate her life. Sure she had some half hearted moments where she would try to voice her feelings but then he would shut her down every time and that was the end of that. It’s not exactly something that is awe inspiring. It just shows that she is not being very independent. Also, if Philip had not shown up, was she just not going to ever go and visit him? It sounds like she borderline just vanished one day and I guess she was letting Roderick trap her the whole time. Not her best look.

The butler Bristol isn’t much better than any of the characters either since he is complicit in everything that was going on. The guy could have stepped in to end things at any time but chose not to do so. That was a big error in judgement and definitely held him back quite a bit. So while he may not seem as villainous as Roderick, I can’t really give him any kind of pass here.

The cast is really small as these are the only 4 characters running around. Roderick is by far the toughest of the 4 as he dominates each of the characters with ease. It’s even more embarrassing for Philip when you consider that Roderick spends a lot of his screentime explaining how weak he is and how every element can destroy him. Philip is really letting this guy call the shots the whole time? It’s definitely a real bad look without a doubt.

Once we get to the climax, we finally get to the intense moments as we get a quick fight and lots of destruction. It all just happens way too late for one character so you understand the rage but feel like it should have happened a whole lot sooner. The building gets its last moments in there as well and it makes for an intense, but odd kind of ending. I don’t really know by the end exactly what the building really wanted. Roderick’s character is a bit confusing as well on the exact point of what he was doing. Was he really just a doomer waiting for it to all end? It felt like he could and should have had some kind of grander ambitions at some point.

Overall, House of Usher is a passable film without a doubt. The short length likely helps in this case to help mask the fact that there isn’t a ton of story to be found here. It’s a good movie even if the characters are super annoying. You wish Philip had more of a backbone so things would have gone way differently though. The film avoids most of the usual horror pitfalls and stays interesting so I could recommend it to the average moviegoer. Just don’t go in expecting a really big/epic horror title. This is absolutely more of a subdued adventure with a big payoff at the end but plays more like a drama than a horror most of the time. The house’s feeble attempts at getting Philip like moving the pot around isn’t exactly going to terrify you after all.

Overall 4/10

Black Sunday Review

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Black Sunday is basically a vampire film even if it is technically about witches. Yes, there is a bit of a nuance here of course but lets just say that this will not end up being a big winner or anything like that. Sometimes these old school horror titles can pull off the upset victory but this was not going to follow suit as it falls into pretty much every horror pitfall imaginable.

The film starts off with a witch about to be executed. The humans want to really make it hurt this time so they’ve made a mask that will basically keep on stabbing her until she’s dead. So with the last of her energy she sends out a curse to them. We jump forward 200 years from that point where Andrej and Choma are heading off to a scientists convention when they run into some carriage issues and have to stop at a local haunted mansion. A lady named Katia lives there and this works just fine for Andrej who immediately begins to like her. What he doesn’t realize is that she is the ancestor of the witch Asa and he is about to have the most dangerous days of his life. Can he survive this?

I have to give the villain props for making a lot of moves as soon as she is revived. She quickly mind controls one of the scientists with vampire witch mind control, bumps off one of the characters, and brings in another ally from the grave. She was really set to dominate but ultimately just takes too long which gives Andrej time to figure out what’s going on here. She really needs to bump off just a few more people. She also came rather close at the end but relies on trickery instead of actually finishing off the job. She should have stabbed the main guy from behind or something.

I guess physically she isn’t super strong or anything like that but I would still expect her to at least be able to do this much in a fight. So she gets some points here but part of her success really comes from the heroes just making mistake after mistake as opposed to her being a stable genius or anything like that.

Andrej is an okay main character I guess. He probably falls in love a bit too easily and is slow on the uptake. I’m never too harsh on these guys for not believing in the supernatural right away but Choma was being suspicious from early on and Andrej should have caught that a bit more. At least he managed to catch the trick at the end and didn’t fall for Asa’s charms. Honestly that’s probably more than I could say for a bunch of other main characters.

Just about the opposite is true on all accounts for Choma. He does fall for Asa’s tricks and shows no real willpower of his own. The guy jeopardizes everyone and it all stems from the fact that he was not built for this. Javutich works as a decent sub villain. He actually does have full on super strength so it’s only thanks to some plot armor that the heroes were able to stop him. There are a lot of ways he should have been able to end the film early for Asa.

As for Katia, she’s not a bad heroine but it can be a bit annoying how she panics at everything. She could have alerted the heroes that something was going on a lot earlier but faints and generally doesn’t handle things very well. If she had kept her guard up more then this could have all been different. The cast is fairly small at least so you get to really focus on each of them. By now you’re probably wondering why it’s so weak though right? Surely this is about the same as every other C horror title.

In a lot of ways that’s true but the whole witch/vampire stuff is always going to hurt. I can’t take the visual hypnosis all that seriously where the guy just can’t help but make a move on her. That’s always going to be an extremely hard sell for me. Then the film also makes another big critical error in having some animal violence. As soon as there were some guard dogs in the estate you knew that things would not be going too well which is definitely a shame. The effects they use to show all of the stab marks on Asa are also quite eerie. In general it’s not like the film is super violent or anything like that but it’s not afraid to have some of that disturbing imagery running around.

The writing isn’t bad. All of the characters are able to have full conversations and talk like professionals. I can always appreciate that at least. In this case it’s not enough to get the film up to the next level or anything though. Writing can only get you so far when the rest of the film is not up to to task after all. I’d also say there isn’t really a whole lot to the film. There aren’t a bunch of jump scares and in general it’s not all that frightening. We have the creepy elements and some disturbing moments but that’s really it. The film tends to have a fairly casual tone otherwise.

Overall, Black Sunday is not really a film that I’d recommend. I’ve certainly seen worse films of course but this one is really not doing anything new or different. It’s not going to make sure that you remember it or anything like that. Having a witch as the villain could have actually been real interesting but the film doesn’t do anything with it. She’s not casting a bunch of spells or anything like that. All of the deaths tend to be blood related or just being overpowered which doesn’t take advantage of being a witch. So it felt like this was all one massive missed opportunity. The way the film plays out, you’d think that the writer really wanted to make a vampire film but wasn’t allowed to or something like that. The ending is almost comical with how fast it moves and the villagers showing up the way they did. Technically it’s dark for one character at least but it was all just so sudden.

Overall 3/10