Tag Archives: Horror

Five Nights at Freddy’s Review

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It’s time to finally dive into the online sensation that is Five Nights at Freddy’s! This is a franchise that really took the world by storm with just how ferocious and scary it was. Every minute had you really on the edge of your sear wondering what was going to happen next. Would it really translate well into the movie? Well, the movie is definitely at its best when the robots are running around. The whole time you know that the humans are toast but the film does definitely lose some ground when it comes to the origins of the robots and the human stuff. That should probably have been saved for a future film. Granted, I don’t know anything about the film except for the spooky jump scares so how much of the plot was spelled out in the first game is a little beyond me. It’s been fun learning more about the series but a lot of it is lore and guess work typically.

The movie starts off with one guy making a break for it, but the robots are too powerful and they ultimately take him down for the count. We’re then introduced to a guy named Mike who has just been fired from another job. He’s a hard worker but the guy gets too emotional and jumps to conclusions. He only has one option left, being a night guard at an abandoned pizzeria. It’s pretty shady, dangerous, etc but he needs the money. Mike’s little sister is going to be taken away by a family member who wants all the money and Mike’s best chance at convincing the judge that he has this under control is to have a steady job that pays the bills. So that’s the plan at least but can he survive this? At least the nearby police officer named Vanessa is really nice so he won’t be totally alone.

All right so like I said the best stuff is really what’s going on at the pizzeria. The place has a very ominous feel and when you see the robots running around you always know that danger is near. They especially look huge in person so you would probably be afraid to just be walking around them. One wrong punch and that’s it for you. Seriously the physical strength behind these guys is absolutely crazy. There’s also the fact that they shouldn’t be able to move so well that makes them rather spooky too. The constant turnover, etc.

By having the robots murder someone in the opening scene, you also know that they are ready to cause some danger right from the start as well. I enjoy the chase scenes here and things definitely get intense. That said, the robots don’t do quite as much as you may have wanted. A lot of time is spent on Mike and he’s not the most interesting main character. He’s not bad but the guy doesn’t stand out and isn’t always super reasonable.

For example, early on he turns down the night watchman job immediately even though at that point he already needed the money. Ultimately the situation gets even worse so he takes it on but I was surprised at how fiercely he declined. Then later on he has a tendency to blame Vanessa for keeping a lot of secrets from him when it’s still his fault for bringing Abby around at all. There’s no way you should ever be bringing a kid to an abandoned pizzeria with lots of giant robots. That’s not smart and we learn that it was for selfish reasons which is even worse.

Abby’s okay at best but she is a kid and so she tends to get in the way here. She’s not really sure of what’s going on until it’s too late and can be rather naive. Vanessa’s the best character from the humans but you still have to overlook a whole lot in order to straight up call her a good character. Trust me, she makes a lot of mistakes here and the fact that she never does anything about this situation is a demerit against her. I’m not buying into any mind control here, it was just fear and confused feelings that held her back. Neither of which are good enough excuses.

I did appreciate the evil aunt character who was transparently a big villain. Hiring a bunch of guys to attack Freddy’s pizzeria is one of the worst plans you can do but I liked her confidence. It also meant that we finally had some more villains around which is always a good thing. The film has a fairly small cast overall and you need more victims to show off the robots. The robots themselves are also very distinct. Ironically Freddy himself has one of the smaller roles though.

I’d argue the yellow duck robot had the biggest role. They all get their time to shine of course but since the place is called Freddy’s you just expect him to do a whole lot more. One of the scenes where he is seemingly there isn’t even him, it’s actually Golden Freddy and the film just offers you a little clue into this when the kid says “Not Freddy” during the scene. A lot of interesting setup for the sequel. Part of the fun in knowing a lot of random things about a franchise but not knowing a ton of specifics is that it makes the series even more intriguing. Not only do I not know what I don’t know, but the things I do know tend to be out of context. So that’s fun but the risk can sometimes be that I like the concept of something more than the execution.

For example there is one plot that brings down the movie quite a bit in how dark it is. That’s basically Mike’s backstory where his little brother was kidnapped while they were at a picnic and apparently there was a whole epidemic of a lot of kids being taken. This involves the robots but basically all of the kids were violently murdered. Not exactly what you were hoping to see here and the explanation for why the police never found them is a real stretch. I don’t see how they were never found and how the place was so well kept intact afterwards. Surely they would have emptied out the rooms, robots, etc. to make sure that every place was checked right?

The backstory felt a bit sloppy here. Throughout the film, Mike gets to relive the kidnapping as he tries to ask the kids what happened. The idea is that every night he has this dream, he gets closer to solving the mystery but it’s a very slow process. You get what they’re going for here but it does mean that these scenes can be rather boring without much in the way of plot development. I don’t need to see the kid getting kidnapped over and over again. Even the intro of the film is already rather creepy with the drawings and what’s happening. If you have to go into the origin though, I would have left it at the opening credits and made Mike unrelated to the whole plot. Just make him a random guard trying to survive. I think that would be way more interesting.

In terms of sheer violence, I wouldn’t say that the film is too excessive here. It tends to be more about what you don’t see or what nearly happens as opposed to what does. One character does get ripped in half which is probably the most violent scene here but even then it is done through shadows so you aren’t actually seeing what is going on here and I think that is a very important point to make. If it was on screen this film probably would have had to go up a rating after all.

Overall, Five Nights at Freddy’s succeeds whenever it is about the robots running around and causing trouble. The direction the film went in just didn’t tend to focus on its strengths though. Too much time is spent on Mike and his constant dreams. I liked the scene with introducing us to the guy giving Mike the job and how his tune really shifted upon hearing Mike’s last name. It’s over the top enough that it’s spooky while also being a bit campy which is a good atmosphere to have. For the first film it really should have been more about Mike being stuck in the pizzeria trying to survive the night against the robots though. Or if you wanted to go the more lore based route, have this be a very dense film with tons of theory crafting and the main character reading a bunch of books the whole time and trying to figure things out. In either case I think you’re in a better place. So ultimately if you don’t mind the darker elements, you should have a good time here. The robots are definitely spooky!

Overall 4/10

Umma Review

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It’s time for a horror film that I would actually say beats the average one. It’s still not particularly good but its main downside is that it’s boring as opposed to being bad. Not a whole lot happens here and so in that way it avoids some of the usual horror pitfalls but what’s the point of ducking those if you’re not going to do much to increase your score with that extra time?

The film starts with Amanda recalling being electrocuted which gives her nightmares. In the present, she lives in a very remote area where she only really see her daughter Chrissy and the guy who transports her honey, Danny. Amanda has cut off ties with the outside world and also can no longer be near electricity. Due to the traumas of her past, it completely spooks her and makes her sick. Unfortunately this has had a rough effect on her daughter who just wants to be able to lead a normal life and make friends. It gets worse when the ghost of Amanda’s abusive mother shows up to haunt them. Can Amanda fight her off?

Now I will say that Amanda gets off a little easy here because most ghosts like the Grudge show up to start murdering everyone with reckless abandon. That doesn’t happen here, there are actually 0 murders throughout the whole movie which might be a first. It’s extremely rare and so there isn’t even a lot of violence in this movie. The electrocuting scenes are definitely on the disturbing side but are mainly off screen and you just hear what happens. There’s also a bird that gets stomped which at least was all a vision and didn’t really happening. Still unnecessary though.

There are a ton of jump scares here but without anything to actually be scary…it’s not all that intense. So this is really a drama film first and foremost with Amanda not being able to let go of the past. I don’t blame her for being traumatized after all of that though. Her best move would really be to let Chrissy go to the school that she wants and just abandon the bee keeping business since she was never all that into it anyway. That would be the best of both worlds for all parties involved.

Amanda says some hurtful things at one point but she was being possessed so you can let it slide a little bit. My main problem with her is by the ending. Ultimately the film is going for a classic message of letting bygones be bygones which is good of course but I don’t think you need to go as far as to have a ceremony and bow to the grave to help the spirit pass on. Ultimately Amanda’s mother was a bad person straight up and doesn’t need to get any respect by the end. There’s no indication that she ever changed her ways and after death it is far too late.

Meanwhile Chrissy was a solid enough character. The whole situation was pretty tough on her with having to do her best without any friends for so long. It’s lucky for her that River ended up coming along so at least she would have someone to talk to. Chrissy was determined to get out there and change things so she had the right attitude here. I think she’ll go far and the bullying won’t stop her this time. Yeah the film brings up that she was bullied a lot in the past which was rather random and I feel like it didn’t really add anything to the film but I suppose it does show how she’s changed now and will be able to fight a lot harder than before.

Then there is River who at first seemed like she was going to be a rather petty character but she ended up being supportive. She helped talk Chrissy through the situation and staying firm in her resolve to go to College. Meanwhile Danny helped the main characters make a lot of money and seemed like a very reasonable guy. It seemed like he was a good friend for all of those years and while Chrissy was mad at him for holding back on the secrets, he really made the right/respectful calls in all instances.

So the family drama stuff wasn’t bad but it was a bit on the uneventful side. I think you would need more characters to really pull it off and probably ditch the horror aspect. This way you just focus on that and we could have Chrissy going through more of an internal debate on if she should stay with the mother or strike out on her own. I would remove Amanda’s tragic backstory as well so it’s not that she’s in this situation because she’s afraid but that she did it to stop the bullying and keep Chrissy safe. The downside could be that she lost all of her friends as a result which will be what makes Chrissy feel guilty about leaving.

At least to me that would be the best way to do it. In general the writing’s not bad and the film is short so it goes by quickly. The horror stuff for the most part just doesn’t land so I don’t expect you will find this film even remotely scary. The transitions might even just make you laugh. One of the jump scares is that we suddenly cut to a bunch of bees eating some honey and then we go back to Amanda. It was one of the most abrupt transitions that I’ve seen in a while and it was just so random.

Overall, The biggest takeaway here is probably that taking care of bees is a really tough gig. Me personally? I don’t think I would have a great time with it. I’m not a big fan of bees as it is and having them buzzing around 24/7 would be really rough. It sounds like the money was good but that still wouldn’t be worth it. If you’re up for a drama film then this is a reasonable one to check out. It’s not the most eventful title on the block but it’s fairly inoffensive. I don’t think you’ll have any real problems with it so if you end up getting attached to the characters that could even raise it up a star or 2.

Overall 5/10

The Company of Wolves Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version of the film would be more negative

Oh noooo it’s time for a film about wolves. Let me tell you something, these films tend to be rather lackluster at best but this one really takes the cake. It was just so bad on every level. From the plot to the violence to the characters, it was all so bad that I had tears in my eyes. You will want to avoid the movie at all costs. Get out of there as soon as possible, it is definitely not the way to go.

So the movie starts with a girl getting ready to go to sleep. She goes to sleep and everything starts moving and getting all trippy but we go back in time for another girl’s sister gets eaten by wolves and then the grandmother of the first girl tells her a story about how men with unibrows are evil. From there we lose the plot further as we have tons of stories inside of other stories with wolves murdering everybody and it just goes to show that you are not safe anywhere. It butchers the little red riding hood story so hard on every level.

Lets start jumping into the negatives here. First we have the obligatory animal violence. The wolves like to eat just about anything of course and so that does include a poor cattle that was simply minding his own business. The scene is surprisingly graphic but it gets less surprising as the time goes by. Why? Because the whole film is thriving on shock value. The transformation scenes are easily some of the most graphic that I have seen. It’s pretty crazy seeing the guy just bleed himself into a wolf. That was super crazy but more grotesque than scary. Then in another one you have a wolf coming out of the guy as if the human skin was just a suit. This one was creative though so I will say that the special effects were really good this time.

Reminds me of when Reverse Flash jumped out of some guy’s body in the CW show. That was weird and spooky without being grotesque so props there. It’s just that the props I give the movie are always very far and few in between. For every decent moment like that there are a ton where you will be shaking your head. Lets go back to the romance angle for a minute. So we’ve got this villager kid who likes the main heroine and he’s always going after her but his persistence makes him feel more like an antagonist than a good character most of the time. He basically steals a kiss at one point and she has to shove him away and he doesn’t get the hint.

They play up the fact that he’s naive but as the saying goes, no means no. He needs to accept the rejection and keep it moving. It does lead to a quick fight between the fathers which was fun but yeah that character was awful. Then in the segment with the grandmother, you’d think the girl would have more of a reaction to her grandmother being eaten. She doesn’t react as you would expect her to which will make you grown as well. That’s not a small offense, that’s literally murdering a member of your family. Pretty crazy you know?

The grandmother is so mean to everyone that it can be a bit funny. She’s constantly intentionally scaring the kid with all of these violent stories and generally being a bit of a jerk about it. My only problem here was that when it came time to actually prove her abilities, she got folded immediately. Yeah she’s old but where’s her gun or at least some kind of a dagger? She was completely unprepared despite being the expert and that was disappointing. Felt like the whole plot was rather useless as a result. At least that’s the way I see it.

Now it is clear what message the film is going for. Don’t let anybody take you away from the straight and narrow path. Don’t trust anyone since all strangers can be evil. The grandmother throws this message in constantly and you can assume the wolves are basically a metaphor. The problem is that a big message can’t save a film and it’s really just an excuse to have all of these stories. At the end of the day it doesn’t help to make them be any more connected and the film is a real bore as a result. You know that the humans can’t do much here. Yeah they can shoot one but usually it will have bit someone else who can transform.l

The humans will always be on the backfoot here and due to the anthology format, it’s not like they can get a final win anyway. All in all, this film definitely did not do anything to make me all that impressed with it. Instead it just did the opposite. I don’t think that it would have been much higher if it was all one story but probably would have been better than a 0 at least. Maybe we could have stayed in the modern day which is an infinitely better backdrop than the olden days here. The olden days with werewolves is a super bad combo.

Overall, This film was pretty bad. At no point in the film was it cooking up a good story or developing any good characters. Everyone here is on the annoying side, the romance is dreadful, and the violence is definitely over the top. I didn’t really get what the point of the whole thing was. Surely they could have thought up a better script than this right? I think the movie got a little too ambitious with all of the stories inside of a story. Having it all be chronological would have helped but even then, anthologies are always the worst kind of format. You should really have more confidence in telling a complete story.

Overall 0/10

Nosferatu the Vampyre Review

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Oh no, we’re back to vampire world. As you can probably expect this film is pretty bad all around. The characters are sloppy and the main villain is anything but intimidating. The whole time he’s on screen you’ll be shaking your head because he’s just not really a threat. If the characters could learn how to throw a decent punch it would all be over for him but unfortunately they don’t have the speed feats needed to take the edge here. It’s a real shame when you think about it.

The movie starts off with Jonathan being given a big job from his employer Renfield. He has to go over to Dracula’s lair and sell him some real estate. The place is rather far but it’ll pay well so Jonathan goes even though Lucy begs him not too. She has seen visions of his this will go badly but he doesn’t care. He wants the money asap! Everybody is scared or Dracula though so he can’t use a horse and as a result the trip takes months. Not a great amount of luck there but at last he has made it. Dracula seems rather spooky the whole time though as he keeps on staring at Jonathan. Jonathan is sloppy and cuts himself which causes Dracula to go crazy and eventually Dracula decides to go take down his wife Lucy. Jonathan has to try and make it back home before Dracula but it won’t be easy now that he is super ill. Additionally a plague is going to be wiping out the place in short order.

Where to start with this one right? The bloodsucking is pretty awful as always. The heroes never put up a fight and just take it. Jonathan for example just stays in his bed as Dracula gets closer and closer. The guy barely even reacts as he is knocked out. Then the same goes for Lucy who is unable to do anything. Those scenes are super annoying the whole time and you’re always waiting for someone to break the cycle. In the end I would argue the heroes didn’t do much of anything and Dracula just got sloppy. I can’t even give Lucy much credit there because you’d think Dracula would be hyper aware of what time it was.

He’s just sloppy in general. Jonathan even had a good time to finish him off earlier but got spooked. This is one of the slowest incarnations of Dracula and he isn’t particularly impressive physically. There’s no way anyone should be afraid of him. His design is certainly very sinister but more in a completely insane, psychotic way as opposed to being threatening. Jonathan should have just knocked the life out of this guy. The fight should not play out any other way.

Also this is where the slow burn approach fails because all the scenes of Dracula staring at everyone is more annoying than it is scary. It will bore you to tears the whole time because it all feels so unrealistic. I don’t care if he’s using some kind of hypnotism, just break out and take him down. Every time they just stand/lie there you know how the scene will play out and it still takes forever.

Then the whole town plot with the plague is pretty boring as well. Basically a bunch of mice start coming around and the villagers know they are doomed so they all start to eat and just give up on everything. Surely they could have tried something before throwing in the towel right? Instead they did absolutely nothing and that was a shame. The ending is surprisingly grim for the heroes. It looks like evil has won out this time and if the cycle continues then it’s just going to keep on happening over and over again. Even Van Hellsing didn’t look particularly great here to be honest. His role is rather small and he just didn’t have a whole lot of confidence. He’s a far cry from the more action centered version that I am used to.

As the main heroine Lucy nis okay and she definitely has some guts but I was still expecting a little more out of her. I’ve already talked about Jonathan enough but the guy is super annoying and should have heeded Lucy’s warning. If not, at least get out of the house right away after getting the papers and don’t just let Dracula stare at you the whole time. Renfield is definitely at his most insane in this version and he was an interesting character. I can’t say that I was able to take him very seriously though. It’s not like he has a lot of raw power or anything and he’s no genius. He just gets lucky that the cops are not particularly careful so it’s easy for him to break away. That was extremely embarrassing.

Then Dracula is rather dull and boring. So yeah there’s not much here to make this film all that good. It’s one of the most boring Dracula movies that I’ve seen and that’s even considering that it still hits all of the usual negatives like excessive violence and a lot of blood sucking. It’s very rare that there is ever a good vampire film and this will certainly not end up being one of the exceptions.

Overall, I highly recommend skipping this film. It’s way too slow paced and unrealistic the whole time. If Dracula himself looked more powerful then at least that part could be believable but instead he looks flimsy enough to just toss away and that would be it for him. The guy is super slow as well. So if you’re in the mood for a thriller film, definitely skip this one as soon as possible. You absolutely do not want to be anywhere near this film unless you’re ready for a good nap. In that case then we have an exception on your hands.

Overall 1/10

The Chosen Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Oh no, it’s time for another one of those horror films with the evil kid running around and bumping everyone off. The Chosen starts out on a rather weak note and never really gets better. It at least has a bit more of a plot than titles like the Omen but unfortunately that’s still not enough to save it. The characters are annoying, the film decides to get needlessly violent later on and the whole film just sort of feels inevitable. Like it’s going to keep going through all of the same tired story beats you would have expected at the start of the film with the main characters having absolutely no influence over what’s going on. Like watching someone order a cheeseburger and eat it. No matter how many people line up outside the store and tell him to stop, he’s going to keep eating it the same way he always does.

So the film starts off with Robert breaking into an old tomb and seeing some creepy designs in there. He’s going to proceed with the project though and they blow a lot of stuff up. Basically they are trying to set up a bunch of nuclear energy stations to take the world into a new era. It’s going to be brilliant or at least that’s what Robert thinks but most people are against this. They feel it’s way too dangerous and people will die. The more supernatural folks also think this is a bad omen and they shouldn’t be messing around in this sacred area. Robert’s son Angel is really enthusiastic about the project but he is really the only supporter as even Robert’s wife is against this. In fact she nearly shuts down the project but is quickly murdered by a terrorist who broke into the building trying to get Robert. Is this pure coincidence that now Robert can proceed with the plan or is something nefarious at work here?

Don’t worry if you miss some of the symbology at work here. The film makes sure to slap you in the face with the parallels every time they come up. 10 towers? BAM! Flashback to the speech about the number 10 being demonic. Robert’s wife may have been accidentally murdered? BOOM! Flashback to show that Angel made sure to guide the blade to hit her. Robert’s not sure if this plan is really demonic? KABOOM! Time for a super long dream sequence where he merges with the sand, gets crucified, dies in the ocean, gets blown up a few times, has to run around naked, etc. The film is really proud of how it manages to tie everything together and so it won’t let you miss a beat. The film made sure to have a fairly long runtime so you’ll be here a while.

Look, I have a ton of issues with the film so let me talk about the one thing that was decent and that’s the story. Like I said before, usually there’s not really a story here. It’s just the Antichrist beating everyone up for the duration of the film and then it ends. In this one we actually have some political drama as Robert tries to get people on board with his plan. The fact that it is so unpopular is a bit of a twist because usually in these films the plan would be popular and at the end he has to find a way to stop it. Instead the plan nearly falls through so many times and Angel has to keep on using his powers to make things right.

It’s annoying that Robert takes so long to decide to shut it all down though. The amount of evidence it takes to convince him is absolutely crazy. Especially since he had doubts fairly early on, why should it take so many tragedies to get to him? I will say that it makes Angel look bad though. He’s got tremendous cosmic abilities and all, but he can’t just make the plan be popular? No mass telepathy or reality warping this time? He has to keep on doing flashy murders to get the plan on track but you wonder why it’s all necessary. Maybe he’s just messing with the characters or it’s all a game but it is odd and also annoying because it’s just stretching the film out.

Naturally as the main villain Angel isn’t meant to be likable and the film does a good job of that since he’s annoying from the jump. He’s basically a fake yes man who acts supportive but is always ready to take the reins from Robert. You’d expect nothing less from him. The guy gets so overconfident that he really lets his guard down for the final scene. That’s good because it made for a very satisfying ending. I definitely did not want to see Angel on top.

Unfortunately the characters who are supposed to be the heroes aren’t very likable either. First up you have Robert and the guy is way too fixated on this project of his. If everyone is saying that it’s a bad idea then maybe it is. Of course that’s not always true but messing around with Nuclear energy isn’t really a good idea. He then finds a new person shortly after his wife dies which was pretty bad. By far his worst scene though is when he attempts to trick Sara into murdering her baby. Seriously there’s no way around how bad this is. You absolutely cannot make someone abort their baby by force and expect to be called anything but an absolute villain.

Yeah he had reason to think this baby would also be evil but there’s no way you can just murder a baby like that. It’s going way out of bounds and I don’t see how Sara could ever trust him again after that. It was an extremely bad look. Meanwhile Sara is also not great here. I don’t see why she made such a big deal about going to the church but surely she could have talked it over more. Again here I’d also say that she should not have trusted Robert at all. It’s not a touching moment to see her going back to him, it’s just annoying. She needed to cut him off completely after what happened.

It’s too bad because she was a nice enough person but it makes her seem more like a pushover than anything. Also this is a nitpick but I don’t see why she invited both Robert and Angel to announce that she was pregnant. Seems to me that this is such a personal private thing that you would only tell your husband/wife first. Everyone else can find out later on. Just seemed super contrived as a way to have Angel there to mess around when he had no business being in the scene.

As I mentioned the film could get rather violent as well. Each death tends to be quite over the top as they are smashed to bits, ripped into pieces, etc. Nobody gets an easy death here and they’re also very predictable. You know that they don’t stand a chance each time. It’s one of the big problems with having a villain who is all powerful like that. With no weakness there can be no fight and with no fight that means there can only be a slaughter. Some films at least pretend that the heroes have a shot but this was not one of them.

Then there’s also the subplot with the crazy people running the asylum. Their scenes were all extremely forced and it’s beyond annoying that they showed up to beat Robert up some more in the climax. I dare say the film would have dropped to a 0 if they had murdered him there. But even without that, it just makes no sense that he would escape again. That prison needs better security and it’s good that Robert knew self defense or it would all be over.

The problem with the Chosen is that this is not even remotely a fun film. There are no good scenes to be had here and you’re just waiting for it to end. The movie tends to be very mean spirited and everyone goes through a lot before it’s over. The ending at least delays things but it still not what I would call a super happy ending. I also think that including the scene of Robert being complicit in trying to drug Sara so she can have the abortion was a really bad idea and does hurt the film significantly. That should never have been included.

Overall, The Chosen is a pretty bad film. It relies on lots of shock value and grisly murders without the substance needed to back it up. The film is also not very subtle so even when it tries to pull some plot twists it doesn’t work because the film showed its cards early. To be honest there’s not much that the film could have done to turn things around and actually be good. That just wasn’t going to happen but you always like to hope that the film could have been a little better. Give us some fun moments next time and provide the heroes with some kind of a chance. Otherwise it’s all pointless.

Overall 1/10

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Resident Evil is one of those franchises where the films are typically doomed from the start but you are still curious how it will play out. The first movie series had a lot of flaws to be sure but it never forgot to turn up with some amazing musical themes and a whole lot of action. It had some crazy scary visuals and in general was very intense. This one tries extremely hard to be scary, often taking the shortcut of just being grotesque but it doesn’t work as well. It drags on and on and while the film was initially trying to be more accurate to the games, it seems like they gave up on that early on.

The movie starts out with a reallllllly long scene of a girl noticing that there’s a mysterious creature in her room. She heads over to investigate and you’re just waiting for the jump scare the whole time as something seems wrong with the other girl. Anyway onto the real plot! Many years later, Claire travels home to warn her brother Chris that Raccoon City is hiding something and they are in danger. Chris doesn’t buy any of it and runs back to the police station. Only problem is that zombies are real and the town is now under attack. It’s mostly deserted at this point which is good but the problem is that the Umbrella corporation is blocking all exits. Can the heroes find a way out?

Where to start with this one right? First off most of the characters are pretty bad here. You have a truck driver who isn’t paying any attention to the road so he crashes into a girl and then tries to tell himself that the crash wasn’t that bad. Unfortunately his dog becomes a zombie so later on he gets taken out which was pretty tragic. The dog really didn’t deserve any of that.

Then we have Leon who is the biggest clown in the movie. This guy’s supposed to be super serious. An amazing agent who takes on all kinds of threats and stuff. He’s the guy you call in when all else has failed and yet that just never happens to be the case here. Yes he gets a big moment at the end of the film. That’s great and all but he’s complete comic relief here and constantly getting into trouble. I laughed when he walked up to the prison bars like a rookie after a prisoner was threatening him. What do you think happens at that point? Well the guy pulls him into the bars and while Leon is stunned he grabs his gun and gets him into a chokehold.

That’s so embarrassing. That should absolutely never happen to anyone. How do you let yourself be that close to the bars in the first place? It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense at all and just makes him look awful. Then Leon takes so long to open the door that the guy gets eaten anyway. To be honest if I’m that guy I would have shot Leon myself for all the incompetence there so hat way at least we both go down together. Leon shouldn’t be walking out at that point when he’s the one who was creating this whole mess.

Hopefully in a sequel he will be experienced but I wouldn’t hold my breath. The writing for this film was pretty bad the whole time anyway. Wesker definitely has a very different kind of role in this film. He’s certainly missing all of the usual aura that he has. This guy is just another dude with a gun now and he also comes across as rather petty since his motivation here is money. It’s not global domination or anything like that, he just wants his big pay day. That’s a fine motivation for a grunt, but not Wesker. That’s going way too far in the other direction.

I didn’t really have a problem with Chris or Claire. Chris maybe could have listened more but I do have to admit that Claire made an historically bad argument in favor of the conspiracy. Showing a video of a crazy looking guy yelling about the virus and how Umbrella is evil isn’t a great jumping on point. She didn’t give Chris any reason why he should even believe this guy. Chris also did dash off rather quick so it would have been tough to convince him either way but the whole exchange didn’t work out in Claire’s favor.

Chris does get a really bad scene later on with a lighter though. It’s supposed to be tense but it was just dumb. So basically there are a bunch of zombies around and so Chris turns on the lighter to scare them off. Problem is that it’s defective so it keeps on turning on and off. This way you can see the zombies getting closer as they keep on circling him over and over again. The scene doesn’t work because they should have finished him off so many times. Like it just doesn’t make sense that he keeps on surviving because of how close they were. It should have been all over for him and so it was pretty annoying to see him just continuing to escape with that plot armor.

I’d argue more plot armor is when the girl from the opening scene returns in some kind of monster hybrid form and crushes one of the zombies. These monsters should not be losing in a battle of physical strength like that. Maybe if you’re Alice who has super abilities but a girl who is seemingly some kind of hybrid? It’s a bit harder to buy even allowing for the fact that we didn’t get to see her much. Meanwhile the final boss looks really bad as it gets one shotted. So the problem here among many others is that you couldn’t take the zombies super seriously as a threat since they kept losing.

There’s not much of a good soundtrack here unfortunately. There are a pair of songs that play randomly in moments that really don’t seem to match with what’s happening on screen though. Trust me that really took me by surprise because of how crazy it was but not really in a good way. As for the visuals, again I’d say the original is much better. This one’s going more for grotesque as opposed to cool so you lose a lot of points there.

At the end of the day what more can be said about this one right? It squeezes in all of the negatives you would expect to see. We’ve got animal violence, general excessive violence all over the place, a very weak cast, poor writing, and it’s just not that interesting. There are very few positives I can even give the film which is why it’s so low. There is one positive though and that is that I enjoyed the way the information was presented. For example when the on screen messages tell us what time it is or why the city is so abandoned. It was a fun way to deliver the exposition. I enjoyed it at least which is a small consolation. If only the rest of the film could have hung in there. I wanted to see more of what Umbrella was doing about this and reactions from the rest of the world. It feels like the setup is really nice but the film just didn’t capitalize. There’s a lot of fun things you can delve into here aside from the obvious zombies murdering everyone.

Overall, Resident Evil has another stinker here. I would definitely recommend watching the original films instead but I suppose technically the best thing to do would be to skip the whole franchise at this point. It’s difficult to pull off a zombie film as it is and I don’t think these will ever be the ones to buck the trend. At least there is an after credits scene to help set up the sequel and in general there are a lot of ways you can continue with the series but we’ll see what they actually want to do for the next adventure. Hopefully they get a little more out there with the next one.

Overall 1/10

Day The World Ended Review

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It’s time for a really sloppy movie which is why this one does not fare very well. The poster’s actually pretty exciting but the monster barely even appears in the movie. I suppose it’s not false advertising per say but it’s certainly on the border right there. You see that poster and it just makes you shake your head because the vibe the poster’s going for will not reflect your experience with the movie in any way.

The film starts off with Jim and his daughter Louise taking refuge in their house. Most of the world has been irradiated after a big bomb attack and the only reason they have survived is because Jim knew this day would come so he has enough supplies for the two of them and the house is in the perfect place where the winds are kept out by the nearby caverns. Unfortunately a few people stop by and Louise lets them all in despite Jim’s protests. There isn’t enough supplies for all of these folks and as they all get hungry, these “nice” strangers may prove to be deadly. Also there’s a monster running around.

The movie really has a Twilight Zone kind of feel to it for the opening act. It’s a very strange circumstance after all and we’re thrown into the mix without much of an explanation at first. So as more people pile into the house, you know that something’s going to give way and fast. It’s inevitable that there will be big fights and disagreements when everyone is hungry and irritable. The movie is at its best during these opening moments when everyone is suspicious of each other. Where the film falters is after that and I’ll get into it more in a second but basically it breaks the atmosphere for a lot of action and thrills except it’s all very poorly written.

The first issue here is just how much of a villain Tony is. Now at first as the viewer you’re upset with Louise for letting everyone in but hey they would die without coming inside so you get it. The first thing Tony does though is break through the door and hold Jim at gunpoint. That should be enough to immediately say that this is not going to work right? If this guy is so willing to use a gun then it’s time to take him out. He takes out the gun and makes threats multiple times. He attempts to murder Jim, Rick, and other people in the house numerous times.

Often times they will beat him up and he’ll say that he’ll try again later once they are asleep. Tony is not subtle at all. Then he’s always trying to force himself on Louise and he’s abusive to his sort of girlfriend Ruby but nobody does anything about this. Time after time they just threaten him some more. The heroes will literally say that they’ll shoot him next time to Tony calls their bluff and each time they don’t do anything. Right now they are at the brink of life and death with how bad the situation is, there’s no way they should be tolerating this.

The whole film feels supremely unrealistic. To put this another way, there are many times where Tony goes for Jim’s gun but Jim insists on just leaving it on the couch all the time. Inevitably there comes a time where Tony grabs it and you’re just wondering what is going on. You’re hoping that it’s somehow part of the plan but it really isn’t. Then Jim has all day to shoot Tony but doesn’t seem to want to do it. He only fires as a last resort after the body count has gone up enough.

All of the characters look awful as a result and this comes down squarely on the writing. It makes absolutely no sense to put up with so much from Tony. They should have finished him off or at least tied the guy up a long time ago. By not doing anything they’re putting everyone else in danger for no real reason. You just can’t be doing that sort of thing. Then there is the injured guy who mutates into a monster hybrid who goes out at night to eat animals. This guy also has veiled threats the whole time and is generally creepy but the heroes don’t do anything. They just go to sleep as normal.

For this guy I’m not saying you take him out per say as he’s not obviously evil the way Tony is but you figure they should do something. This guy talks about the future of mankind and how his mutated kind will rule which is as ominous as it gets. That and when he says that they’re all going to be killed shortly. Makes you think a little right? Of course this is referencing the monster which barely appears. The monster really should have shown up more, that would have made everything a bit more exciting. Yeah it takes away from the spooky Twilight Zone atmosphere but that was already starting to break anyway.

I think this movie would have been most effective without the monster or mutations. Just the heroes surviving as they slowly run out of food and have to decide what to do. Do they make a run for it and try to find some food, stay in until the last moment and hope the radiation leaves? A lot of good ways to have some tension in there and the film doesn’t go for any of that unfortunately.

So yeah back to the characters. Tony is super evil yet nobody does anything about it. Ruby is also super annoying because it’s clear that Tony doesn’t love her and will just keep on using her but this never sinks in. The guy does everything short of murdering her and she still thinks they have a chance of being together. Ultimately this really doesn’t go over well and the whole subplot is just really annoying.

Jim is a pretty bad main character for all of those scenes with Tony where he doesn’t do anything. Jim talks a tough game but when the chips are down he’s just not leadership material. Louise allows Tony to go free by not reporting what he was doing to the others. She needed to mention immediately what he did and have the team destroy him. She takes too many chances and lack of communication is a big reason why the heroes are always falling behind in situations like this. You really need to be warning others and prepping for what is coming up.

I’m afraid that I have to take shots at Rick for the same reasons. Even more than Jim, Rick doesn’t want to shoot anybody. Jim even tries to talk him into it a few times and he refuses. Look, it’s great to not want to murder someone but when they keep on trying to murder you, you’re now putting other people in danger. It’s a selfish ac at that point and he doesn’t do a great job of protecting the other heroes as a result. I just expected way better out of this guy.

Another knock against Jim and Rick for going along with it is how Jim decides that it’s time to continue the human race. He encourages Ruby to go with the abusive Tony to have some kids and wants Louise to forget about her missing fiancé and hook up with Rick. Really now? As someone who’s never liked the idea of arranged marriages, telling someone to get together to protect the future of the human race is crazy. It’s way too much of a dramatic leap in logic. We don’t yet know that everyone is doomed and if they are, why bring a baby into this? The babies will now be all on their own if something happens and without any civilization around, there’s not much that can be done if anything bad happens. It’s just a net loss all around.

This film isn’t even that long but it sure drags on at times. There’s also some dead animals that pop up because of the whole eating animals part which doesn’t go over well either. If the film could make a mistake you can bet that it did. It’s a shame because I do think that the premise is really solid. It’s just been done way better by other titles including the Twilight Zone itself. There is really no reason to watch this one.

Overall, Day The World Ended is a very disappointing film. Particularly because I thought the ending was really strong. I was seriously impressed by it the whole time and yet it all ended up failing miserably by the end. The characters’ actions make absolutely no sense and so the drama felt forced. Tony should have been taken off the board way sooner and the longer he remained with the group, the worse it got. You had a hard time seeing him just enjoy the music and sleep soundly with the group when he was constantly trying to murder them. Maybe if this was a parody it could work but it’s all played straight. Yeah the writing here was brutal.

Overall 3/10

Children of Men Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a dystopia film with the end of the world approaching but not due to some kind of giant twister or meteorite attack. No, this time it’s because the world just isn’t generating new humans anymore and so that’s an interesting take but this is more of a dreary kind of adventure as opposed to a thrilling escape film on trying to find a way to survive. It brings up some interesting ideas but ultimately couldn’t quite turn the corner.

The movie starts off by explaining the plot. At some point women stopped being able to get pregnant and the cause of this was unknown. It could have been anything from radiation, vaccines, just a natural end to this cycle, etc. Regardless of the cause, that means humanity will slowly begin dying out soon. Just about every country on the planet has fallen except for the United Kingdom and so there is a huge immigration issue. Everyone wants to go there and so they have basically shut the kingdom off and all immigrants are basically treated like slaves.

The film centers around Theo who has a fairly good job and likes to keep things low key. He stays out of the media and plays along with what people consider to be big events like the world’s youngest person dying but he doesn’t really care about any of that. One day he is kidnapped by his wife or ex-wife…I forget if they had split up or not officially but she is now a high ranking member of a terrorist organization. Why does she want him? Well there is a girl named Kee that they are trying to protect and they need Theo’s help. She doesn’t actually trust the other terrorists so he is her absolute last resort play. Theo doesn’t want to help but circumstances basically force him into the picture. Can he protect her?

Theo doesn’t exactly have much combat training or anything so it won’t be easy. Additionally, there is a specific reason why Kee is a super big priority target for just about every force on the planet. There are tons of people who want her for both good and bad reasons. That means there is now a big target on Theo’s back. He does suggest at one point that they should turn themselves in but this is the only area where I have to agree with the villains in thinking that this is a bad idea. I have no doubt that she would immediately be experimented on and would effectively lose her freedom/life in short order.

There are no great solutions to this though. One idea is keeping her in hiding for say 10-20 years so you can show off certain results with a bit more safety also in hopes that other people appear or you make her a central figurehead for the terrorist group from a safe location. I’m not sure exactly where would be considered safe at this point though and even if it appears to be for a good cause…I don’t think anybody would want to be the figure head for a terrorist group.

As with most of the dilemmas in this film, your only choices tend to be bad or worse. Theo has one real friend in the film who is an old guy trying to take care of his sickly wife and from the jump with this kind of film you know that’s not going to go over very well. I don’t even get the logic of his final scene. The guy was super prepared for everything including poison pills and lots of other kinds of things so at least he wouldn’t be captured and tortured. There is even a plot element to this involving the past which explains why he would want to be wary of such a thing. Yet when his time comes, he only gives two others the poison pills and doesn’t take any safe guards for himself. If anything he actually gets off really lucky here comparatively speaking.

Aside from making things rougher on Theo this just didn’t make sense. There are lots of scenes in the film that are pretty much here to remind you how bad the world has gotten. People are being led up to a firing squad, the whole being tortured as a backstory, we see the bad living conditions, everyone starts dying near the end, etc. Even with the ending I wouldn’t exactly say it’s a very positive one. You have to assume that while things may get marginally better later on, they may not.

In a way the whole film follows this theme of hopelessness. At the end of the day no matter what the characters choose to do, they’re all going to die soon. There is no saving the world or some big enemy to defeat. Every person who gets murdered during this adventure is just one person leaving early but everyone will eventually be dying with no heirs to continue. The first half of the film is much more interesting in that sense though as it’s interesting to see what happens but once we enter the thriller aspects it’s ironically not as engaging. It’s more of a classic everyone getting shot and running through the destroyed towns but it’s all rather gritty and not meant to be very fun. Everyone’s constantly in pain and the film does give us a rather long birthing scene which makes sense as it could be the last one ever seen but I’d still have rather that had beem off screen as it always looks and sounds so painful.

Meanwhile the ending only holds hope for the world if the circumstances with Kee can be reproduced. If they are unable to figure that out then it won’t matter. Even if they do figure it out, if the circumstances are not practical then it won’t matter there either. So there’s a lot of ways this could go sideways and only a few possible positive routes. Personally I don’t see it working out, the world is way too far gone. At this point even if things do start to turn, society itself may as well be collapsed.

Theo isn’t a particularly good main character either way. The guy comes across as selfish and it takes a whole long time for him to get on board. He doesn’t care about much which is fine but it also means that it basically takes the most extreme of circumstances to get him to do anything like a lot of money. I can’t say I was a big fan of Julian either though. She feels a bit manipulative. It doesn’t look like she actually likes Theo all that much but was just using him for her own means which was risky in itself.

Kee was a good character. She was really thrown into a really tricky situation and did her best but this was probably the roughest for her in a lot of ways. When you’re just trying to survive but going through an ordeal nobody even knows about, that has to be pretty rough. Then we have Luke who is one of the more interesting characters. Definitely the kind of guy who can really turn on a dime though so you can’t really trust him at all. The guy shows some warning signs right out of the gate and they only get worse. From his point of view it probably all seems worth it like he has to do it but there’s no way to really justify his actions.

The worst character would have to be Syd though because in the end he’s just a really greedy guy who will absolutely turn on his own convictions for the right price. In a lot of ways he’s worse than someone like Luke who at least has a logic to his actions. I don’t believe that Luke could ever be bought by anyone while Syd is just too weak. The guy’s annoying because there were such high hopes for him.

Overall, I think Children of Men is a very interesting film. There are definitely many parts to it that feel really realistic and if the planet did ever enter a period where children could not be born anymore, I expect there would be massive chaos. It would be like knowing that everyone was going to die soon and not being able to do anything about it. Society absolutely would collapse and it’s a scary thing to think about. So while it is a very interesting writing prompt, it doesn’t work as well in a movie like this. It’s just more depressing than anything with no real breaks. It can get rather disturbing and even a little violent as well. I would have preferred a film that focused more on the societal impacts from the government’s point of view like a drama version of this without the thriller aspects. Even the most kind people would have a lot of things to worry about if they’re the youngest and know that nobody will be around to take care of them when they get old. So I don’t recommend the film but the plot is very unique and if you’re curious about diving in, the film has no shortage of traumatic imagery to present to you.

Overall 3/10

The Old Dark House Review

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It’s time for a bit of a blast from the past since I actually saw this one quite a while ago. It’s a pretty interesting story about a group who ends up at a strange house where there is something a little off about everyone. It may not stand out a whole lot next to some other haunted house movies but with something constantly happening it will certainly keep you entertained. The moral is that sometimes it is better to stay outside in the car instead of wandering into a haunted house.

The film starts with Philip and Margaret bickering a whole lot after they had gotten lost on the road. They can’t figure out a way to get where they were going and then the car gets stuck in the mud. With a heavy rainstorm ongoing their only option is to head inside of a mysterious house for shelter. Well, they are granted entrance by Horace but he is bickering with his sister Rebecca constantly so it’s like going from the frying pan into the fire. Rebecca is very into the supernatural, Horace seems to treat everything like a bit of a morbid joke and then they have a butler who cannot speak but seems to be rather creepy the whole time. Did I mention that there seems to be someone upstairs?

That’s not even accounting for the fact that two more strangers wander in later on. More crazy people or just here to throw a little romance into the adventure? After all, Roger is basically a third wheel to the main couple. Yeah the film actually does squeeze in some romance amidst all of the horror and the large cast so like I said this film is really chock full of story and different plots going on.

The writing is pretty solid. Everyone speaks in a very distinguished way and the film does get that eerie feeling across rather well. It does live up to the hype of being a haunted house but less so for the house itself and just the inhabitants. That’s probably scarier anyway since not everyone is scared of ghosts but strange people who could be mass murderers? Yeah that’s pretty scary.

As the main character Philip can be more on the annoying side at times. I do think he was a bit much in how he was in a bad attitude during the drive. He gets along with Margaret better once they are inside at least though and isn’t as afraid of everyone as some of the other characters. He’s willing to go up and get the lamp at least even though it’s…upstairs!! So there’s that.

Margaret is a character who makes it a point to say that she doesn’t scare easily at first but then spends most of the film getting scared a lot and panicking so it wasn’t a good look for her. She at least had a better attitude than Philip initially but loses a lot of points for this. She also tends to run off on her own and get into trouble which is a really bad idea here. You need to always stick together when you’re in a strange place like this.

Morgan’s by far the worst character though. A pretty terrible antagonist who is basically a wild animal just trying to go after Margaret the whole time. Whenever he’s on screen tends to be the most annoying part. The guy’s fairly strong and usually handles whoever goes up against him but I prefer the more subtle kind of horror in these films. Having someone like this doesn’t add anything to the table.

Philip’s friend Roger is fun. His romance plot definitely comes across as really rushed given the circumstances but I like the fact that he’s at least having fun with all of this. While everyone else is panicking and getting scared he’s just laughing and having a good ole time. Nobody’s about to scare him. It feels like he’s always subtly mocking everybody.

Gladys is a fun character. There is no rebound going on here at least as the guy she came into the house with is just a friend. For once the film has no twists about this and that he secretly likes her or anything. They’re just good pals and he takes care of her. So Saul’s a pretty decent guy. The only part he’s upset about is the fact that Roger has no money and doesn’t seem like a very serious guy. Very valid reasons to be a little skeptical at least but ultimately he accepts this.

As for the house inhabitants, they’re all rather flawed of course. Horace is a fun guy but he is really just sitting back and allowing all of this craziness to unfold. He’s not even brave enough to go upstairs which says a lot about his character. The guy may seem like he’s having a fun time but is always scared out of his wits. At least Rebecca is taking charge the whole time but you never know when she will go on one of her crazy tirades. It makes for some pretty entertaining scenes though. Margaret really needed to stand up for herself more though.

Then we have the most random character at the end, good ole Saul. So the climax is hilarious in some ways even if it’s trying to be serious. So some old man shows up claiming that he’s completely harmless but grabs a giant knife. So he talks for a while and then one of the heroes lets his guard down and gets knocked out. Come on how are you going to get beat up by an old man who doesn’t train or exercise or anything?

Yeah really bad look but the whole climax is so sudden and random that it is pretty funny though. The film actually has a lot more action than you would expect from all of the Morgan fights as well as the climax fight with Saul. It’s really just wild stuff that you have to see to believe because it’s such a massive departure from the actual premise of the movie. Anti-shoutout to the two heroines hiding in a closet the whole time though. When it’s life or death like this I feel like everyone needs to try and help out. After all of the guys lose then the girl will die shortly afterwards so there’s no benefit in hiding. Either you all win or you all lose.

Overall, This was a pretty fun film. It’s got some fun unintentional humor and the writing is fun. The ending is also so nonchalant after everything that went on. Definitely a product of its time but one that has a decent amount of replay value so yeah I’d end up recommending it. It’s also something you can really impress people with since I’m sure the average moviegoer has probably never even heard of this film. It’s not exactly an iconic movie after all.

Overall 7/10

Nightmare Alley (2021) Review

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This is a review of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for another remake as we step into the circus this time around. I have to say that the original film defeats this one much like the Death on the Nile original beat the remake. Ultimately this one hangs around a bit too long and just doesn’t manage to surpass the original on anything except visuals. The visuals are really solid after all.

So the movie starts out with Stan on rather hard times and he ends up joining a circus. He does odd jobs around the place and helps with one of the magic tricks. Eventually Stan grows ambitious and figures he can use the trick of fake psychic powers to get huge. He leaves the circus with Molly and they set off to light the world ablaze. It’s all going very well and they have a lot of money now but Stan gets jealous. He wants to be even richer and so he decides to forego the morals and start spooking people with visions of their deceased loved ones and things like that. Molly is completely against the idea and so Stan goes to a local psychiatrist named Lilith. She agrees to help him scam people and will even do him the favor of holding all of his money for him in her vault. That’s real generous. What can go wrong?

I’m going to be honest this part’s a little on the nose. Her name is Lilith like the succubus of legend. She is gladly keeping all of Stan’s money for him since she doesn’t care about material gains and all the while she is recording sessions with Stan where she breaks down his psyche to learn of his dark past. Along the way she’s also seducing him since the guy has no ethics as we’ve already established. Any red flags here? Gee….I can’t even….

So yeah Stan has it all coming to him and you can’t feel bad for him. You could argue that he was never a particularly nice guy but he was in a seedy environment and had to be tough. You can certainly understand that and I wouldn’t hold it against him. The main problem is of course the betrayal once he turns from Molly into the arms of Lilith and also getting so greedy. If he didn’t try so hard the guy could have just stayed plenty wealthy and lived a peaceful life. Instead he just had to get bigger and bigger and bigger as the risk kept growing as well. When you turn your backs on everyone for money that is always going to lead you down the wrong path.

Molly was a good heroine at least, she really tried to keep Stan on the straight and narrow. The thing is, at the end of the day you can’t really control someone else so either they want to do the right thing or they don’t. If they don’t then your hands are really tied the whole time. There’s just not much that you could really do about it. Ultimately she does eventually draw the line although it would have been great if she had left a little sooner and decided not to dress up at all.

Lilith is a pretty solid villain and probably the highlight character of the film. Yes she’s not a good person to say the least but I appreciated her cunning. A large portion of the film is Stan just messing with everyone and showing why he is the smartest guy in the room. Lilith was the first one to challenge that and so they have a meeting of the minds several times. It’s by far the most interesting part of the movie. You really feel like he’s on the back foot the whole time despite his bravado and how tough the guy thinks he is. He’s just not on the same playing field as her and it really shows.

Where the film really falters are all the scenes with the circus. It feels like the film doesn’t really get going until he’s out of the circus and into the city, yet that takes a very long time. A good chunk of the film is to set that up and all of those scenes are rather brutal. We see how Stan’s natural charm carries him far but the whole place is rather dreary and gritty. We also get the scene of eating a chicken which is pretty brutal. Obviously most of its not on screen but it’s set up enough where it’s still pretty bad. You definitely don’t want animal violence like that in any form.

The film’s ending is also leading up to this once again. Now I do think the ending is better than the original. This one leaves you some hope for some kind of master plan or a way for Stan to get out of this. Not that you’re really rooting for Stan by this point but you’re at least hoping that he avoids this fate because you wouldn’t really want that to happen to anyone. It’s a rough way to go and the laugh at the end could mean a few different things. I’d say it’s clear which way the film wants you to interpret it, as complete despair and acceptance but you could still maintain that maybe there is some grand master plan coming into play. After all Stan already knows the playbook to this so hopefully he wouldn’t be fooled so easily.

Overall, Nightmare Alley definitely shows you a circus that would give you nightmares. It can’t be easy having to live in such an environment and most of the people there are hardly around by choice. It’s a place of last resort but that doesn’t really make for an interesting film. Once we’re outside that and into the big city then the film picks up but not enough to overcome the intro. I appreciated the strategic element of the film and wish we had stayed to that more but ultimately this is not a film I would really recommend. I would much sooner say to check out the original instead.

Overall 3/10