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O. Henry’s Full House Review

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It’s time for an anthology film and you know that those can sometimes get a little dicey. Well, this one ends up being solid as most of the stories are pretty good. There is one particularly weak story that does almost lower this one by a star because it can really drag but the positive ones outweighed the weakest link. Ultimately this would be one of the better anthologies that I have seen.

So lets jump into each story. The first one is about a guy who wants to be arrested. He likes to be kept in a jail cell during the colder months of the year because then he is guaranteed 3 square meals and a warm place to sleep. The jails were pretty well kept back in those days and so it was like a free hotel service. The trick is he needs something that will keep him in jail for exactly 3 months so it can’t be anything too mild or anything too brutal. It would also be nice not to get beaten up or shot so he has to be careful on what kinds of crimes he dishes out. Unfortunately nobody seems to want to arrest him. What can he do now?

It does feel like this should still be a very easy mission to complete though. I mean there are so many ways to get arrested even if you’re just looking for non-violent means. The main guy tries some mild stuff like theft, dining and dashing, etc. but it just isn’t working. At that point the guy needed to adjust his gameplan a bit. Maybe try dining and dashing a second time since it usually works you know what I mean? It does lead to a funny gag at the end though so it worked out. This was a pretty fun story with a good amount of humor and solid pacing.

Then in the next story we jump to a murder case that has been unsolved…until now. See one of the cops recognizes the pen left at the scene of the crime. It belongs to a guy he used to know who was always a petty crook but evidently he has gone beyond that now. Thing is, he owes this crook $1000 and doesn’t feel right arresting him before paying the money back. So now he has to earn the money before the guy skips town but how do you raise 1000 that quickly? It’s a good story but I do have some rather massive issues with it.

First off, this villain’s a murderer. I don’t care if the cop owes him a million dollars, you have to bring him in so that he doesn’t murder anyone else. He is clearly unhinged after all so why hold back? You can pay him back while he’s in jail as long as he isn’t executed. So the whole premise to me didn’t make a lot of sense. It’s a very weak excuse to potentially let someone stay on the loose causing a bunch of trouble. The main character lost a lot of my respect at that point.

It’s still a very fun story though which is why it stays at a high level. The pacing is good and the writing is very solid. In general outside of one story involving a kid, the writing is always good which is what makes the anthology work. It balances the humor and solid elements well. The cop just comes across as the biggest pushover I’ve seen in a while. He literally lets the villain punch him in the stomach and doesn’t do anything about it. You can’t let people be putting hands on you like that. Trust me, it never ends well.

After that is a bit of a weaker story. Basically a girl is heartbroken and literally falls to the ground. She ends up catching pneumonia from staying out in the snow for too long and now her health is a matter of life and death. She should have recovered sooner but part of her doesn’t want to get better as life is meaningless without her man. So her sister and a kind neighbor try to help her out but she has this delusion about her life being tied to that of a tree outside. Once the final leaf falls, she will take her last breath. It’s an old tree that will soon be destroyed though so what can the heroes do?

The girl who is sick ends up being rather annoying here. Obviously it’s much easier said than done to tell her to buck up and handle this in stride but she really doesn’t help them out at all. I think this is a good place to quickly remind you all that nobody is so important that losing them means your life has no purpose. You have to always continue on living and while I would not recommend rebounding, find some solo activities to enjoy. Ultimately the neighbor comes through when it counts here. I do think he was taken for granted the whole time as he was really doing his best to help out through and through. He may not be a great artist but he was clearly someone who cared about them. So I was glad that the ending addressed that and it was the best ending out of any of the specials. (Although most of the stories did have really satisfying conclusions)

Now we enter the worst story of the bunch. Basically two guys who are down on their luck decide to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. They succeed but what they don’t realize is that this kid is really tough and he starts to literally beat them up. The town also has a no returns policy so if they want to bring the kid back then they are going to have to pay $250 which is rough when they don’t have much money. Can they survive this experience?

While most of the stories do have some comedic undertones they were great at balancing them with the serious moments. That’s not the case with this story as its fully comical and completely unrealistic. It goes a bit too far here with such a small kid beating up the two adults the whole time. The kid is supremely annoying and the same goes for the adults who are losing this battle. The whole plot doesn’t make sense but instead of that being in a cool abstract way like the Twilight Zone, it just comes across as really annoying.

The story ends up dragging on quite a bit as a result so I dunno I think they could have done a whole lot better with this one. If you make the story too serious it would be a bit too dark of course but somewhere in the middle would have made sense. Like have the two adults still be nice people so they can’t do much about the kid but then have the kid still be a lot of work. You could absolutely make this work and it was the only time I felt the writing was not up to par.

Finally we have the famous Christmas gift exchange story. It doesn’t compete with the Mickey Mouse version but that’s how it goes. Basically a recent couple is getting ready for Christmas but they are really poor. They tend to imagine having fancy foods and items but in reality they never get to have anything all that fancy. Well, each of them decides that they want to get something big for once so the guy gets his girl a fancy hair set while she gets him a really good watch strap. Unfortunately things take a rough turn with what they each had to sacrifice in order to make this work.

It’s a pretty tragic story all around. I mean the underlining message is that they didn’t really need any of that stuff and can still be happy but it’s still a shame to see what they have lost. It won’t be easy to get the watch back and while the girl’s hair will grow back, it’ll take time. It’s why secret presents and such can be fun but you do have to be careful about the whole thing. Keep your partner happy but don’t sacrifice something so precious that it’ll end up working out more like a guilt trip. Surprises can be double edged swords in that regard but all in all it was definitely a quality story through and through.

Overall, This was a pretty good anthology. Most of the stories worked out well which is exactly what you want to see in a collection like this. The writing tended to be good and the stories were on point. I’d definitely recommend checking this one out and I expect you will have a good time with it. The stories may be fairly basic but that’s why the execution is always important. They are handled well and so you are absolutely entertained.

Overall 7/10

The Holiday Review

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You might as well call this the rebound movie because that is constantly what is going on here. The characters jump from one person to the next with limitless speed. It’s completely uncanny and ultimately takes away from any message of true love that the film is trying to express. It ends up getting too dramatic and so ultimately none of the characters really make a lot of sense here. I cringed a lot more during this movie than any other recent title.

The movie starts off by introducing us to two characters who have both experienced a lot of heartache recently. First is Amanda who is super rich and owns her own film trailers company where she excels. Unfortunately her boyfriend cheated on her and so she breaks up with him and now has nobody to spend Christmas with. She decides to enroll in this super sketchy program where you swap houses with someone and flies all the way to England to get started on her vacation. Now she can be away from all of the usual neighborhoods which could remind her of her ex but she just can’t be alone anymore. So when some guy shows up at her new house she is ready for a quick one night stand.

Meanwhile Iris is having guy trouble of her own as she is in an unrequited love with one of the guys at work. He’s engaged to another woman and has lots of affairs but she is satisfied with just receiving his attention sometimes. He knows that she likes him and continues to exploit this fact by telling her that he needs her and letting her get some action now and again. It’s a very unhealthy dynamic though so Iris ends up swapping houses with Amanda. Now she can finally enjoy being rich for a little while but the colleague continues to call her because he needs some help on his projects. Can she learn to block his number in time?

In a lot of these adventures I really don’t get why the characters don’t just block the number. Seriously it’s not that hard and then you don’t have to worry about seeing any of those messages or calls ever again. In particular from the two characters I also can’t really sympathize with Iris all that much. She’s just too much of a pushover. Unrequited love is one thing. Sure that can be rough but at the same time it’s not this huge mess she’s making it out to be. When you’re in love with someone then you’re happy as long as they are. A crush is when you’re sad that your girl/guy got snagged before you could make your move. True love is much deeper than that and so as long as the girl he is with is a good person then that’s it.

So her jealousy the whole time isn’t great. You either move on or just really enjoy the moments you have with the guy. You do not continue being a homewrecker or just pouting the whole time. Then when you find out that the guy actually knows the whole situation and keeps weaponizing it, that is when Iris should have gotten out of there. How does she even love the guy when he’s this toxic? Yeah her plot just didn’t win me over in the slightest and it really hurts her as a character.

There’s a scene near the end that hurts her a lot too. So she’s ready to rebound with the nice music guy when her ex shows up again. Iris is ready to throw all of that away immediately to get back together with him and the only thing that stops her is that he’s still engaged. Meaning?? She would have gone back together with him if he had claimed that he called it off. It’s a horrible look and is why I can’t root for any of the romances in this film because this kind of thing keeps on happening.

Miles is the guy she’s supposed to end up with but he’s not much better. For starters I think he is a bit too much of a flirt. I half forgot that he was even dating someone because when he meets Iris he’s being super friendly, gives long awkward stares, kisses her on the cheek twice later on, etc. So then his girlfriend cheats on him so he feels bad and goes to Iris for the rebound…..only to then go back to the ex real quick when she asks him over. Ultimately he says no this time and goes back to Iris but again why is he tempted at such a late date? It implies that she could have won him over depending on how she handled this. Real bad look for Miles.

Men and Women reading this blog, always remember to know your worth. If you’re someone’s second choice then that isn’t the person you want to be with. The other wise words of wisdom I’m going to impart is to be careful if someone is too easy as well. Because the way you obtain someone is often the way you lose them. So if someone you like offers you a one night stand right away…know that the offer may be extended to others as well. So yeah when it comes to advice in the ways of love, I’m your guy. I’m something of a romantic expert myself after all….

Yeah back to the movie though, we’re cutting back to Amanda’s plot now. Her plot is also one that’s hard to be sympathetic with. I will say that she handled the Ex way better than Iris though. He cheated so she punched him in the face and kicked him out. Boom that was it for him. No second thoughts, no half hearted apologies, etc. He was gone and out of the movie. Where Amanda’s plot goes wrong is it takes a few seconds upon meeting some complete stranger for her to go all the way with him. Are you kidding me? If that’s similar to how fast she went with the first guy then it’s not too surprising that he ended up being a cheater. The entire point of dating is to find out the true character of a person after all. So you don’t get to learn about that if you’re skipping that whole phase.

Of course, knowing someone isn’t super easy and there are tons of ins and outs to romance that take years of experience and other parts that just require faith. This guy named Graham has a lot of secrets of his own which he doesn’t share and that does make him look bad by the end. Ultimately this plot was just annoying with Amanda and Graham both appearing to have no morals the whole time. I wouldn’t trust either one with my groceries let alone in a relationship! They just seem way too desperate.

The only real quality character here is Arthur. He’s a fairly old guy who is having health issues but still has a fairly positive attitude. He’s a fierce guy too who doesn’t let anyone push him around. He injected some humor into the film and had some of the best moments. The film could actually be inspiring and emotional when it wanted to be rather than being super dramatic all of the time. So this was definitely when the film was at its best. If it could have skipped the romance and just focused on making friends and learning how to enjoy yourself then that would have been a much better film.

The fact that the main characters cannot function by themselves without constantly being in a relationship is in itself a red flag. You should be able to be fairly self sufficient as needed because if not then you’re probably going to be a very clingy partner. You should always have your own interests as well so if you guy/gal needs to be on a business trip or working late you have something to do beyond blasting their phone with endless texts and things like that. None of these characters really seemed all that happy on their own so they aren’t in that perfect spot yet.

Overall, The Holiday is one of those films where you don’t really buy into the characters having a happy ending. They’re all too quick to rebound so it’s hard to see how they could possibly trust each other. There’s just too much baggage and so the relationships probably won’t last. The film could have really worked on making the characters more likable all around if you ask me. The writing isn’t the best and while the film is long, it stuffs itself with so many plots that it doesn’t really matter. It’s just used to create more and more problems for the heroes with made them more and more irredeemable. There are some fairly high quality songs thrown into the mix at least though.

Overall 3/10

Paycheck Review

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It’s time for a film with a pretty interesting premise, in part because I could see this actually happening in real life at some point. Companies want to keep things confidential after all and right now people sign non-disclosure agreements but at the end of the day those are hardly full proof. What if they could just erase your memories? Oh man that would be a company’s ultimate dream! This movie is pretty fun and will keep you entertained the whole time but I do have to admit that the main character does come across as gullible.

The film starts off by introducing us to Michael who basically contracts with various companies to work on specialized projects. After which his memories are deleted and he goes off to live his life. The positive here of course is that he’s making absolute bank. The guy is basically rich because of the missions but the negative of course is that he’s missing massive parts of his life. He’s completely okay with this and feels that it’s a fair trade off though. Well, one day an old friend shows up and asks him if he is interested in a longer term contract. This one will last 3 years and of course he won’t remember any of it. Michael agrees but when he wakes up, it turns out that he gave away all of his money for some reason and all of the records have been destroyed. Now he is being hunted and it’s all an elaborate frame up. What can he do to get out of this?

I have to give the film more credit here because this is exactly what my worst fear would be. When you’re erasing whole chunks of your memory like that, you seriously have no idea what happened previously and that is opening up the door to all kinds of trouble. You can’t properly defend yourself from someone accusing you of something when you yourself don’t know what occurred right? So long story short, I would never even consider doing this even if the money was really good like this. An added wrinkle is in this film the procedure of removing memories is actually super dangerous as well so one wrong move and you will lose all of your memories or potentially even die in the machine.

Michael is one of those guys who usually takes things in stride. He’s fairly confident in himself and is skilled but as a character I wouldn’t say that he’s great. He’s cool with having one night stands since he figures that he will forget all about them afterwards anyway and that doesn’t make for a particularly solid romance. So once he does fall for someone you have a hard time buying into it. The romance doesn’t seem all that convincing and in large part it’s because the main character doesn’t exactly seem like a great guy.

You still feel bad for him of course since being framed is rough but that’s about it. As the main heroine Rachel isn’t bad. Taking aside the romance plot of it all, she does contribute a lot to the plot and can also be rather tough which I always like to see in the heroine. Michael also has a friend in Shorty who is very helpful here. The guy has a bit of an “I told you so” attitude but it is completely justified he whole time. Like this was a bad idea from the jump and it was pretty clear to see.

Now where the film taps into some interesting themes is with how Michael keeps having items on hand that are useful in very specific circumstances at specific moments. It’s basically as if he is following a destiny that is pre written by his past self who saw into the future. I always like theory crafting with time and looking at all of the different ways it could work. Basically, if you can see into the future then does that imply that your future is written in stone, you are just seeing one possible version?, or was that the future but the instant you saw it, it has now changed since you can effect things?

Personally I always go with the one possible version theory because to me it makes the most sense by far. You should be able to change the future once you have seen it and everything being pre written is just hard to buy for me. That said, this one is mainly going in that direction as Michael saw the future and planned things out extremely carefully in a self fulfilling cycle where he saw what was going to happen and made sure that it did. So what happens when two people see the future? Well that’s another interesting one.

The climax is pretty fun as it deals with all of that. On the whole I wouldn’t say the film is super action packed or anything like that but there are a whole lot of chase scenes. We also get the government involved which is always fun. Of course they do tend to get in the way a lot at first as they take everything at face value and fall for the villain’s traps. The fact that they went straight to torturing the lead and nearly frying his brain was a really bad look for them. Come on now can’t they at least pretend to not act like the villains for a little while?

Overall, Paycheck is a pretty fun. On its surface it’s just a classic action thriller but the time manipulation and sci-fi elements help to make it stand out. It has some interesting themes there and while that’s never the focus, it is still a fun little thing to touch on even if it’s just temporary. I’d recommend checking this film out, it’s a solid cautionary tale about how technology can get really dangerous really quickly if you rely on it too much. At the end of the day I personally recommend not letting anyone mess with your memories, but hey that’s just me. Also important to note that even if you don’t remember something, it still happened. So Michael’s idea here about doing stuff since he won’t remember it later on…yeah not a very good idea.

Overall 7/10

Empire of the Ants Review

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Time for a foe that is just as scary as a spider…an ant! Look you don’t want to mess with Ants for a variety of reasons but one is that they always have numbers on their side. The plot of this film changes quite a bit as the film goes on and the second half in particular is very interesting with the route that was chosen. The ending isn’t quite as hype as the spiders film though but ultimately this one executes at a much higher level.

The movie starts by introducing us to a bunch of characters who are invited onto a private island to see if they want to buy it or invest in it. They are all supposed to be rich people who can afford such a lavish purchase but what the host doesn’t realize is…a good deal of them are not rich or have no interest in buying the property at all. They’re just here to mess around and eat the free food. It also appears that this place is a scam anyway which is why it’s being offered away so aggressively. Unfortunately the danger isn’t merely to the pocket books as harmful chemicals have given the ants an attack boost. They are now massive and can rip people apart with ease. Can our heroes hold their own against these guys or are they doomed?

The film starts out quite poorly with one guy getting a girl alone and attacking her. She barely manages to fend him off but rather than murdering him or having the guy arrested she doesn’t really report this to anyone and just leaves. The guy’s boss also doesn’t do anything so from this point on you’re really just waiting for the ant to eat him. Like come on why are you starting the film like this. The whole intro is a bit slow as the characters all talk but most of them seem to hate each other and there’s a ton of very awkward small talk. It’s awkward by design of course but it does make for a fairly slow pace. Gradually they start to pair up and get along but you’re really just waiting for the ants to show up.

Sure enough they appear to start murdering people one by one. A good chunk of the film is about running around and trying to dodge ants. There are always various forks in the road so the characters will split up and you try to decide which ones made the wrong call. To an extent no route is that safe though so there is a lot of danger every which way. One thing the film does really good about showing though is that the ants are quite smart. They actively make plans and even try guiding the heroes into specific locations. Ants are generally pretty smart and have an advanced system within the tribe and so I’m glad we got to see that.

This part is fairly by the numbers but with so many annoying characters you are glad to see them get taken out. Some are more tragic than others though like an elderly couple that tries to hide in a house. You feel bad because it’s really a rough way to go when you’ve been around for so long. Like you lived to be 80 and then now you’re going to be eaten by ants? Just doesn’t feel right so that adds a tragic element to the film. The deaths can also be a little on the violent side. Not super overdone or anything. I think it’s just that enough of the death is shown so when you add it to how you imagine it would feel to be eaten alive and it’s a really rough picture.

As I mentioned the second half is where things get really interesting though. So the survivors make it over to a nearby town where everyone seems really nice but secretive. They don’t want the heroes to leave the town or anything like that. A little strange…but okay. So the heroes need to get out fast now but they will be up against the full might of the U.S. Government. There are a lot of secrets being held here and the biggest one really comes out of nowhere. It’s definitely an interesting moment though and explains why the place is so unnerving. I thought it was a brilliant twist but this really should have been the bulk of the movie. It’s just got so much potential and I feel like we didn’t stay here long enough.

Honestly if you focus on the second half I do think you could have actually gotten a pretty high score for the film. Remove the most annoying characters as well and treat this like a Twilight Zone episode. I feel like it was almost there, the whole thing was so close to being awesome and it just could not seal the deal. The two halves almost feel like completely different films and you don’t see that very often.

Overall, Empire of the Ants is not a film that I would rank very high. Too many annoying characters everywhere and while the dialogue can be rather funny, I don’t think the writing is great. The twists are a whole lot of fun but you will have some big questions about a few and won’t have time to get the answers. The ending gets really convenient really quickly and just makes the villains look super sloppy as opposed to making the heroes look like geniuses. The moves just should not have worked and so I was real skeptical. Still, I applaud the film taking things in such a different direction because I really did not see that coming. It came as a real big surprise and absolutely elevated the film because if we were just talking about the first half then we would have been in trouble.

Overall 5/10

Kingdom of the Spiders Review

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It’s time for a story about evil spiders so you know that this is going to be intense. Spiders do not hold back and I can tell you that from experience. I personally don’t think they’re quite as scary as the movies would have you believe but then again I’ve never come face to face with one of those huge ones in real life. I’ve only been around the smaller variety. This movie is a pretty intense thriller through and through with a really solid ending but the characters are not amazing and there is some serious plot armor here.

Okay so the story starts off with Rack messing around. He’s probably the best doctor in this small town in part because he’s the only one. When a horse dies from some venom randomly he’s kind of puzzled but calls in an expert. Diane shows up and explains that it was a spider bite but Rack doesn’t take her seriously for a moment and keeps flirting with her. He’s also busy flirting with another girl but gets mistaken for his dead brother which ruins that moment. Rack just wants romance! So he keeps trying with everyone but what the town really needs is for someone to focus because the death count starts to increase. Even the farm dog gets murdered which the film added as a little punch to the gut for any viewers who were hoping for a high quality experience. It turns out that Diane was right and an army of spiders are approaching to destroy everyone, all around the world. They’re going to destroy everyone Rack loves, starting with the people in the town. Can he stop them?

Now while I give Rack a lot of grief for being a completely patronizing, irresponsible jerk, things wouldn’t have changed much even if he took the threat seriously from the start. The reason comes down to a numbers advantage, there are millions and millions of spiders running around. They can tank fire by going underground and they can run really fast. Short of nuking the area or something like that you are not going to defeat them. The mayor wants to use some strong chemicals but aside from the fact that it would end up hurting a lot of humans as well, the spiders may be immune because they are mutant types.

So the town was always doomed. What was a bit surprising is that we actually see a large part of the fight onscreen. Usually you see the aftermath or something but no we see the spiders jumping people and taking them down. It’s a little hard to buy at face value but the film does put in some work to make it a little more plausible. For example, one bite is enough to seriously start to paralyze you and if you hit the ground then you’ll die right away because of the endless bites. So your best bet is not to get hit at all or to get bit once while running and the adrenaline will help you out.

It’s pretty tragic if anything seeing everyone get taken down though. The climax gets surprisingly violent with everyone being eaten alive. Even the mayor/sheriff had a bit of a grisly end there. I don’t know why people were trying to stop his car though except to doom them all. Like those people are already dead men walking so at least let this guy escape right? Ah well I suppose that wasn’t in the cards. Now the film does bend this law a bit though which is where the plot armor comes in.

So as I explained if you are bitten then it’s game over. You can just throw in the white flag because there is no getting away from this right? Wrong! Rack gets bit a ton of times and then hits the floor. By everything we’ve seen in the film that means he is dead and yet somehow he gathers up enough energy to recover and rejoin the rest of the cast. The scene made absolutely no sense and was completely annoying. You can’t just have plot armor like that for no reason. If they said he was a poison expert or something and was already immune for the most part then that would be fine but there’s no reason he should be alive here. I just can’t accept that.

It doesn’t help that he’s such a bad character too. The guy doesn’t take anything seriously and having more than one romance plot in the same movie is always a massive thumbs down. This guy’s not loyal nor is he trustworthy. You would not want to be paired with him because ultimately he’ll just see you as the next romance partner. It’s why Diane ended up being disappointing as she quickly ended up liking him anyway. There was no reason for that.

It’s too bad because the idea of trying to shelter in a house while spiders try to break in from all sides is pretty tense. The film just doesn’t execute particularly well. Any film with animals attacking you is likely to be a dicey one as that can quickly go into animal violence but it doesn’t need to happen. Why even have the dog appear at all? It’d be nice if the spiders had not gone after any animals and were just shredding the humans. They shouldn’t have any beef with the other wildlife right?

All that aside, the ending is really good though. It makes for a solid cliffhanger and is like something out of Resident Evil. The true horrors still await the main cast and you know that they are not in a good spot. I would argue that they aren’t quite doomed yet though. Given that the spiders are small I feel like you should be able to just make a break for it. They can’t bite you through your sneakers and if you run hard enough none of them should be able to climb up your pants. The tough part is just finding out how widespread these things are. If they go on for too long then you will get tired and eventually die but if not, then you have a chance. A sequel would have been very interesting here.

Overall, The Kingdom of the Spiders makes for an intense thriller but ultimately it made too many mistakes to get a passing grade. Having better characters would have gone a very long way to be honest because then you’re more invested in seeing the characters do well and overcome the audience. Without that it just feels like you aren’t going to be quite as engaged with the whole adventure and I wouldn’t really recommend this to anyone. It’s an interesting premise….but that’s not enough to save it.

Overall 2/10

The Preacher’s Wife Review

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Uh oh, it’s time for another Christmas film that I’ve got some issues with. I’m talking serious issues here that definitely do take away from the film. It’s aiming to be a fairly wholesome experience but by the time I’m done with it you’ll see why this didn’t actually work. It’s a shame because the film had some real potential here but ended up fumbling the bag by the end and leaves you wishing that it could have managed to make it to its full potential. It really should have been the next big thing but ultimately it was not to be.

So the movie starts off by introducing us to Henry who is having a hard time as the pastor of his Church lately. Everything in his life is just falling apart, he feels like he can’t get his message across to the congregation anymore and some of the community are starting to get into trouble. One was accused of robbing a store at gunpoint, another is being taken away into a foster home, etc. He also hasn’t made any time for his wife in a long while. Just as things look like they’re about to break, an angel named Dudley appears. He says that he will help make everything better and yet…it seems as if he is after Henry’s wife. If Henry doesn’t move fast then his wife may be gone for good, but how do you stop an angel with unimaginable power?

The bulk of my complaints with the film are about the angel here. As an angel Dudley should be a very virtuous being, one without any real faults who is here to help. If I’m being extra technical he shouldn’t even be a human who died and then became an angel since all will rise up together but there are different theories on that so I can let it slide even if I don’t agree with it. But at the very least he shouldn’t still be interested in romance. I think the plot is partially to hype up Julia as being so attractive that even the divine want her which if that was the film’s intent could be funny but I think the film just seriously wanted a romance which makes no sense here.

The film really goes hard into this plot as they go out on dates and Dudley looks visibly upset when he has to go back to his mission of getting Henry and Julia to be together. One of the worst scenes is the very last one where Julia wants him to stay and he says how he has to go and the two are basically sobbing internally until the guy runs off. We absolutely did not need a final kiss scene there or for both characters to be so filled with regret. It should have been a full break with Dudley just running off. He really didn’t feel like an angel, he was written to be too much like some ordinary joe.

That’s probably the character he should have been written as then. Just make him a friendly ghost who decided he wants to help Henry out to get over the fact that he died early. It doesn’t change much of the plot but makes his flaws a little more understandable. It would still be bad since he is being a homewrecker of course but at least it’s not an angel doing that. That’s just such a crazy plot all the way around. Come onnnnnnnnnn.

I’m afraid Julia is partially to blame here as well. It takes two to tango after all and she’s still having fun dancing with him and doing all of this stuff. She’s even called out on it by her mother and admits that she is window shopping. Look, this is all behavior that is completely inappropriate once you’re married. I actually do believe that guys and girls can be friends which is something that would get you booed off of a lot of streets but it’s a real thing. You just have to know the boundaries. What are those? No 1 on 1 sit down lunch “meetups” because that’s basically a date, absolutely no dancing all right. Let’s not get crazy here. Ice skating together like that is a bad idea because it’ll probably involve a lot of contact, mountain climbing, etc. So yeah a lot of activities are out of bounds now but hey that’s the price of picking your one true love and getting married. You have to acknowledge that your personal life will never be the same. As bad as Henry was throughout the whole film, Julia still has to stay strong on her end as long as they are married.

As for Henry, he was practically begging Julia to cheat on him throughout the movie. He did every single taboo that typically causes this to happen in real life. Completely ignoring her every day, always being outside, not showing her any kind of romance, etc. Part of what makes Henry so bad here is that there is absolutely no excuse. He’s busy yes but he’s not so busy that he couldn’t have made time for her if he actually cared. Choosing to visit someone at the hospital instead of going on the date with her was egregious for multiple reasons. One is that he could have just brought her to the hospital with him and then at least they’re still together. That’s pretty obvious right? He also could have stayed to personally explain this to her instead of ghosting her. Henry finally could have not told Dudley to take her on a date in his place. Henry was just so annoying here and then he has a scene near the end of the film where she makes him a hot chocolate and he ignores her to head out.

Why was that scene so bad? Well, it’s near the end of the film, past the point where he’s supposed to have mostly learned his lesson already. So this scene showed me that he hasn’t learned a single thing. He’s still making the same mistakes over and over and over again. One area where this film was particularly weak even compared to the original is his big confrontation with Dudley about the guy going after his wife. Henry mostly just does a lot of whining here when I was expecting him to be a little fiercer and more direct. Maybe punch the guy out or something right?

The movie does have good humor from start to finish though with some solid writing throughout. You will laugh from time to time because the burns are quite sharp. Outside of the problematic stuff I wrote about above, it can be a pretty wholesome movie as well. It’s just that it’s really hard to overlook the stuff I mentioned. In fact I would say it’s impossible because that’s part of the main plot of the film. So yeah it’s one of those things where whether you like it or not, it’s a big factor and that’s a shame.

Overall, The Preacher’s Wife is a film with a decent plot but one that it doesn’t fully understand. It really wanted to have fun with the premise of the main guy getting so distracted by tons of random stuff that his marriage starts to fall apart. You can do a lot with that plot but having the angel be the one slowly encouraging the wife to cheat is a massive no no. There’s no way he would be doing this much flirting and leading on. He wouldn’t forget his mission like that and it’s a very distracting part of the film. There are good things to be found here but on the whole I would have to give this a thumbs down as a result.

Overall 4/10

Bright Eyes Review

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It’s time for a film that mainly has a very wholesome feel to it but at the same time is a little darker once you actually think about it. I’d say the film goes a bit too far in that area and has enough scenes that just aren’t very fun. The main heroine isn’t really able to hold her ground as the lead either being only a kid and so the film doesn’t go quite as far as it could have. The film ultimately had a lot of room for improvement.

The movie starts off with introducing us to Shirley who lives with her mother in the house of a really rich family that is very mean to the two of them. Mary works as a maid there and so Anita treats her with constant contempt. Shirley’s father died a while back but the Air Force fighters all look after her and help Mary with that task. One of them in particular, Loop really wants to make sure to keep her safe. He suspects that Anita’s family aren’t the nicest but Mary doesn’t complain and he doesn’t really push the envelope there. However, a custody battle over Shirley begins and so he is forced to throw his hat in the ring because if Shirley was forced to join the family he knows they would not treat her properly. Can he claim victory?

Mary is a solid character here who is really just trying to make ends meet and she has done a pretty good job. She puts up with as much disrespect as she needs to in order to get money and look out for Shirley. That’s why it’s rough the way her character arc goes because she was really doing her best and thing still did not go her way at all. I thought the film was really harsh to her because everything went wrong. She lost her husband early on and then another tragedy happens to her.

Then we have Shirley who is okay but she’s very young here so it’s not like there is much for her to do. She is always fairly cheery and takes things in stride. You won’t really see her crying or getting too upset no matter what happens. I’d still say her road isn’t a very happy one even if she doesn’t fully realize what is happening. It would have been nice if she could have spoken up more about Joy, the rich kid who was always being a bully. I know Shirley is a nice person but nothing wrong with calling out the bully and putting her in her place. Shirley may not have had the homefield advantage so the fallout might not be great but I doubt she would really be thinking about that.

Anita and Wellington are fairly cartoonish with how mean they are to Shirley. I’d also say as a result they really aren’t smart at all either. Basically they pretend to be nice to Uncle Ned in order to get their inheritance and yet they do everything possible to make him upset? He says to be nice to Shirley and they basically don’t change their attitudes at all. She keep on allowing their daughter Joy to terrorize Ned and generally be a pain the whole time as well. You just feel like they should have been putting up a much better effort to stay on his good side considering the stakes here. I would say their efforts were pretty awful all around.

Ned was actually a decent character at least. He was actively trying to make things better for Shirley and clearly cared the whole time. It’s really rough not being able to walk on your own since even in a wheelchair his options were limited. I imagine he would have left the family a lot sooner otherwise. The ending is satisfying since you were rooting for him a lot. Loop also did good. The guy was maybe a little more bitter than expected with Adele but it all worked out. I don’t blame him for being upset when she ran off so perhaps getting together again should have been out of the question but otherwise you do need to keep it together for Shirley considering the stakes at play.

For Adele we never got a ton of details on her past and why her relationship with Loop didn’t work out. I was expecting some kind of big reveal/twist on why she left but I guess from the context we have, it was just her making a really big mistake. Ultimately the movie’s ending is good but what holds it back is how it could be a bit mean spirited like I mentioned earlier and the film wasn’t always very entertaining. The songs were definitely really weak here with the main one really not landing in particular. I don’t think Shirley makes for a very good main character either so there isn’t a whole lot of replay value in this one.

Overall, There just isn’t a whole lot of reason to watch this one. It’s not a very bad movie or anything like that but it can be boring at times and I would have handled the plot in a different way. The writing wasn’t always very good and not having great songs hurts as well. I wouldn’t call it a happy movie in the end even if the film tries to really jump forward and not worry about the specifics the whole time. I think you could do better for Christmas films and so for this time I would say to skip this one and check out something else like Jingle All The Way.

Overall 4/10

The Accountant Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

I saw this film a little while ago and it’s definitely a solid action film all around. I remember the trailers and promotions for this one really well. The idea of an Accountant being the main character who is also a fighter and it was enough to get some eyebrows raised. Now granted, the film plays out a little differently than I expected since I was basically expecting accountant by day and Punisher by night but the route the movie goes is still solid.

The movie starts by introducing us to Christian who as a kid could not really handle any external stimulus. This would result in a lot of different episodes and panic attacks which gradually caused his mother to run off. His father did his best to train Christian and his brother Braxton even if his methods could be rather intense and tow the line of going too far. Well, it ended up working for Christian who is now an expert accountant who has been able to lead an ordinary life. He continues to train himself for stimulus every night using a custom setup at his house. His latest case is to find out if some money has been stolen by a huge company and this mystery goes back many years. An intern named Dana discovered this so she wants to help him out but he’s a solo act.

Is this guy hiding something though? Ray, the leader of the Treasury (Makes it sound like a big gang organization right?) hires a lady named Marybeth to find out the secret behind this accountant. He blackmails her so that if she refuses he will send her off to jail. That’s a pretty strong motivation so she’s all in but Christian appears to just be an alias that he uses and the guy has been the accountant for many powerful gangs and influential people across the globe. He always vanishes once the job is done and contacting him is next to impossible. Will she be able to pull this off?

Now the film is mainly focused on the two different plots, Christian’s and Marybeth’s. The latter is mostly a red herring in my opinion as you keep waiting for the two paths to connect. Of course they do to an extent but not as much as you would think. I feel like this was all leading up to a big sequel where you will have the payoff but even if we don’t get a sequel, I think this works pretty well. It’s a fun subversion as she continues to be one step behind him throughout the film as opposed to finally getting one over on him. Why is this a good thing? Well, it’d be a little cheesy if someone who just joined the force could track down the man that nobody has ever encountered yet. It would just be a little too fast, but give her a few years and that can of course change.

She’s a solid character through and through though. She also makes the right call in the end which I was glad about because for a bit there I was getting nervous. The “call” involves choosing to accept the help of a vigilante or not and yes while that can sound tricky, I think it’s clear that you have to say yes. You’re putting villains behind bars, it doesn’t matter where the intel is coming from. Meanwhile Ray was also a pretty solid character. He should probably tread lightly because he doesn’t want the Accountant for an enemy but I liked his drive. Replaying his backstory over and over was a bit much but I thought he pulled his weight really well in keeping the subplot interesting.

For the main plot, that’s where the meat and potatoes is. Christian makes for a really fun main character. He’s definitely been through a lot so it was nice to see him be in total control in the present. He has his system and knows how to protect himself. He’s also an expert fighter which is nice and balances out his serious side and comedic moments well. It also comes down to the fact that he’s just a nice guy in general. The film throws a whole lot of plot twists at you by the end and the best one involves the identity of the lady who works with him over the phone.

I thought that was a really nice touch and shows how he really helped improve a lot of other lives around him. It’s a twist that I absolutely did not see coming but works perfectly well when you see it there. That’s why it is such a good twist. Not every twist in the film lands though. One involves the identity of the main villain. So here’s the thing, it’s an unexpected twist which is cool but I think it was handled a bit too abruptly. No matter who the identity is, we know that this villain has been murdering a lot of people already. It’s hard to just let bygones be bygones.

While you could say that the villain is a vigilante like the Accountant to an extent, he’s certainly much more willing to cross the line at the drop of a hat. He’s an assassin for hire after all and while the victims we saw were other villains, he does murder them in rather intense ways and based on his reputation you are led to believe that he has quite the body count. All of this is just to say that you’re not really inclined to root for him in the present no matter what happened in the past. I actually liked him a whole lot in his past scenes but for the present it’s going to take some time.

Meanwhile Dana is a decent character although I don’t think she brought much to the movie beyond trying to squeeze some Hollywood romance in there. Christian works well as a solo act all the way through and they didn’t have a whole lot of banter or enough of a dynamic to make the extra character worth it. If she returns in the sequel you could probably do something with her but it did feel like this was probably it for her character. Her arc is concluded after all so the sequel would likely introduce some new characters.

The film doesn’t actually have a lot of action but the fights that we do get are pretty solid. Again that’s where the film tricked me a little because I was expecting a ton of fight scenes but really we just had the climax and a brief fight in the past. The choreography was on point though and the story is engaging enough where you’re invested all the way through anyway. The film can be sad, funny, serious, etc. It has a whole lot of range here and makes for a very complete film.

What seals the deal on this one being solid is the ending. A film like this could have absolutely destroyed itself with the wrong ending but it leaves a lot of room for a sequel and is satisfying for all of the characters. A whole lot of world building was accomplished here as well which is impressive for a stand alone title. It probably needs to sell me a little more on how Christian managed to stay alive for so long in such a brutal business but you could partially chalk that up to luck or him never really being in a position where someone wants him silenced. We do see some of the specifics on how he stays safe like a moving base and all buttttt I’m just a little skeptical.

Overall, The Accountant is a pretty good movie. The soundtrack may be a little forgettable but the writing is good and I liked the premise a whole lot. It really does throw a unique element into the mix (Being an accountant) and really rides that all the way through to the end. That will also prevent this film from just being forgotten because no matter how many other thrillers come out, it’s unlikely that they would end up copying that part of the plot. Even if they did, it would squarely be known as the copycat which just makes this one get brought up yet again. I’d recommend checking this film out for sure.

Overall 7/10

Going My Way Review

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Time for another festive film as we get closer to Christmas. This one has a solid message and a good character cast but ends up being held back just a little bit by not having enough fun. I think the movie ends up spreading itself a bit too thin with such a large cast and so at times you just wish they would stick to one story beat for a little longer instead of all the jumping around. It makes the film start to get a little boring at times but ultimately it sticks the landing well enough.

The movie starts off with a new guy entering the neighborhood. He is to work at the local church under Father Fitzgibbon but doesn’t have the best first impression as he gets framed for a ball crashing through the window and then gets yelled at by an annoying neighbor. Still, Chuck is eager to help the church out even if it seems like Fitzgibbon is ready to throw him away. What Chuck hasn’t let him in on is that he’s actually the head honcho now as he was sent to save the church. He just doesn’t want to embarrass Fitzgibbon so Chuck pretends that he works for him. It’s definitely a nice thing to do even if it does mean that his mission will be a little more difficult now. Can he save everyone?

I would really describe this film as Chuck going around town and trying to solve everyone’s problems. You have the kids getting into a lot of trouble all the time, a girl who is trying to be an aspiring talent and a guy and his father who completely disagree on everything. That’s just for starters. As the new guy on the block Chuck doesn’t have a ton of credibility yet so he will need to quickly show them why they should listen to him and get their lives back on track. All while trying not to but heads with Fitzgibbon too much.

With his debates with the older pastor, I do think Chuck could have explained himself a little more at times. Like when he walked into their first meeting in pajamas. It’s played off as a comical moment but I do think Fitzgibbon was justified in feeling like Chuck wasn’t taking this seriously. That’s absolutely how it appeared at least since he doesn’t have the privilege of seeing the events as we did. Then you have Chuck having fun golfing and such. He would really appear to not be serious at all initially.

Now Fitz does get to see Chuck doing a lot of good as the film goes on. I just think he was actually rather reasonable in his reactions. Fitz absolutely means well even if he can be a little old fashioned and once the two start teaming up things go a lot better. That’s where the heart of the film comes in as it’s about keeping an open mind and trying new things. Sometimes you do need a new approach to an old problem, particularly if the current tactics weren’t working. A lot of people were in quite the predicament under Fitzgibbon’s leadership and while it’s not like he was directly responsible for that, he would not have been able to solve the situations without Chuck.

Meanwhile while Chuck doesn’t communicate enough, he is good at his job. He takes some risks and ultimately bonds with the people really quickly. You need to be very personable when you’re working at a Church after all since you won’t convert any hearts if nobody likes you. His friend Timmy maybe goes a bit too far in how laidback he is though. You don’t really see him doing much work at all but hey I suppose we can’t see what he’s doing off camera. You should be able to have a job where you can relax and have a good time so long as you are still doing your work when it comes time to produce. The ending of the film has a cliffhanger that could have made for an interesting dynamic even if it may have been like a bit of a retread.

So the main plot is solid, but like I said the film can get a little uneventful sometimes with the other plots. For example the romance plot with Carol and Ted. Basically they end up getting married real quick and really rub it in Ted’s father’s face. You’re supposed to be rooting for them but they did come across as a bit rude there even if it was meant to be in good fun. He ultimately has no choice but to accept it since they’re married but then Ted is heading off to the army so they are going to be separated for a while as is. It’s a happy ending as they at least made the relationship official which is good but you just don’t really care about what is going on in this plot. We could have used that for more screentime comparing how the two pastors handle things differently in church.

Give us more scenes with the actual sermons and trying to raise money instead. As it is we already had the romance plot of sorts with the main character running into a lady that he used to be involved with back in the day. Of course he has turned from all such things now but it’s nice that they still have a friendship going. In a way this film does feel like a combination of a lot of experiences that you could picture really happening at the Church but at the same time it maybe goes a little too realistically at times so the film doesn’t have that hook.

Overall, The film plays it fairly safe and I have no significant issues with it. It’s probably not a film that I would ever really feel the need to rewatch but the writing is good and the character cast is solid on the whole so you could do a lot worse. It’s a good film, I just feel like it could have been a very good film. Throw in a little more humor and let us see more of the debates between the lead and Fitz. Based on the premise that’s more or less what I was expecting but it felt like there just weren’t as many of those scenes as I thought there would be.

Overall 6/10

Christmas at the Drive-In Review

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It’s time for our next wholesome Christmas adventure! This time we’re bringing in the Drive-In theater to the mix which is a fun little element to make this one more unique. Ultimately it succeeds on all of the classic Christmas elements you would want to see here. Definitely no real negatives to say about this film and so you’ll have a fun time from start to finish.

The film starts off by introducing us to Sadie who was a very impressive lawyer back in the day but she has decided to hang up her career in order to move back home and become a teacher. She is quite fulfilled in this role but then runs into her ex-boyfriend Holden. There’s a lot of history between these two as Holden stood her up on their last date and so their relationship fell apart. It’s been many years but the reunion is not under happy circumstances as Holden wants to destroy the Drive-In theater. Sadie is resolved to save it though and so the town is giving her until Christmas to prove that it can still be a hit. If not, then it will be destroyed to pave the way for new jobs. As Holden technically owns the Drive-In, he is forced to assist her as a good faith effort but his heart’s not really in it. Can Sadie pull this off?

Now as soon as they said Holden and Sadie used to be together you knew that things were going to get a little dicey for them. Holden’s excuse is that he saw Sadie cheating on him back in the day so that’s why he didn’t approach her and so the two of them are still single to this day. You can probably guess what kinds of misunderstandings are going on here. You’d think both characters would be a little too busy following their interests for romance at this late time but hey that’s how it goes I suppose.

I was glad that the film brought in more of an emphasis on baking and showing off different Christmas snacks because I’ve missed that from some of the recent movies that I’ve seen. The sugar cookies looked like fun as well as the chocolate drink. It’s definitely the time of the year to eat as much as you can and just have a good time with it. The Christmas decorations and backgrounds are also handled really well. The town looks like it would be a fun place to hang out and the Drive-In looks nice. Now that’s not really something I’d be all that tempted to do because being in a car just feels a bit too confining, I’d probably prefer to stand outside and watch but with the cold temperatures outside the average civilian would probably need the heater.

The writing is on point here. While the story may be somewhat predictable, I always say that it’s all about the execution. Just because you know how a story will end doesn’t mean that it’s bad. You shouldn’t always try to subvert everyone’s expectations after all as sometimes the expected ending is the right one to go with. The pacing is good and the film really goes by quickly. The main cast is also quite small here. You have the main two of course who do a good job. Holden may not have been very enthusiastic at first but he’s a good guy and gradually started putting in more and more of an effort. He even spent a ton of money on this project which was impressive.

Sadie of course was doing her best from the start and it’s great that she was looking out for the town the whole time. Losing the drive-in would have been rough even if granted, I think the town would have ultimately been okay. She also does her best to help someone in fighting a legal battle. I appreciated Kendra as a solid antagonist who sympathized with Holden’s plight but had the highest obligation to her shareholders. She was going to get a profit out of this no matter what and that’s the attitude you have to have when you’re in charge. It’s nothing personal after all, just business.

Then you have Bobby who was another antagonist. I mean from his perspective Holden is the trailer since the two had long since signed the contract. That said, he does play a dirty trick in bribing the council so the guy ultimately does not have the moral high ground at all. He really should have kept to playing fair all the way til the end. It’s always good to have a true antagonist to spice things up though so that was fun. He was an entertaining character all the way through to the end.

At the end of the day this film spreads a good message about friendship and uniting the people with a common cause. You don’t really see this kind of experience as much in the big city but in a small town where everyone knows each other you like to think that everyone would have each other’s back for a situation like this.

Overall, This was a pretty fun film. As always what I like to see in a Christmas film is a solid message and good vibes all throughout. The ending should always leave you feeling happy and fulfilled which this movie pulls off. You definitely feel good watching it and it properly captures the Christmas spirit. I would definitely recommend checking it out and having a good time with this film. It should get you in the mood to celebrate as we are getting very close to the end of the year right now!

Overall 7/10