Nightmare Alley (2021) Review

This is a review of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for another remake as we step into the circus this time around. I have to say that the original film defeats this one much like the Death on the Nile original beat the remake. Ultimately this one hangs around a bit too long and just doesn’t manage to surpass the original on anything except visuals. The visuals are really solid after all.

So the movie starts out with Stan on rather hard times and he ends up joining a circus. He does odd jobs around the place and helps with one of the magic tricks. Eventually Stan grows ambitious and figures he can use the trick of fake psychic powers to get huge. He leaves the circus with Molly and they set off to light the world ablaze. It’s all going very well and they have a lot of money now but Stan gets jealous. He wants to be even richer and so he decides to forego the morals and start spooking people with visions of their deceased loved ones and things like that. Molly is completely against the idea and so Stan goes to a local psychiatrist named Lilith. She agrees to help him scam people and will even do him the favor of holding all of his money for him in her vault. That’s real generous. What can go wrong?

I’m going to be honest this part’s a little on the nose. Her name is Lilith like the succubus of legend. She is gladly keeping all of Stan’s money for him since she doesn’t care about material gains and all the while she is recording sessions with Stan where she breaks down his psyche to learn of his dark past. Along the way she’s also seducing him since the guy has no ethics as we’ve already established. Any red flags here? Gee….I can’t even….

So yeah Stan has it all coming to him and you can’t feel bad for him. You could argue that he was never a particularly nice guy but he was in a seedy environment and had to be tough. You can certainly understand that and I wouldn’t hold it against him. The main problem is of course the betrayal once he turns from Molly into the arms of Lilith and also getting so greedy. If he didn’t try so hard the guy could have just stayed plenty wealthy and lived a peaceful life. Instead he just had to get bigger and bigger and bigger as the risk kept growing as well. When you turn your backs on everyone for money that is always going to lead you down the wrong path.

Molly was a good heroine at least, she really tried to keep Stan on the straight and narrow. The thing is, at the end of the day you can’t really control someone else so either they want to do the right thing or they don’t. If they don’t then your hands are really tied the whole time. There’s just not much that you could really do about it. Ultimately she does eventually draw the line although it would have been great if she had left a little sooner and decided not to dress up at all.

Lilith is a pretty solid villain and probably the highlight character of the film. Yes she’s not a good person to say the least but I appreciated her cunning. A large portion of the film is Stan just messing with everyone and showing why he is the smartest guy in the room. Lilith was the first one to challenge that and so they have a meeting of the minds several times. It’s by far the most interesting part of the movie. You really feel like he’s on the back foot the whole time despite his bravado and how tough the guy thinks he is. He’s just not on the same playing field as her and it really shows.

Where the film really falters are all the scenes with the circus. It feels like the film doesn’t really get going until he’s out of the circus and into the city, yet that takes a very long time. A good chunk of the film is to set that up and all of those scenes are rather brutal. We see how Stan’s natural charm carries him far but the whole place is rather dreary and gritty. We also get the scene of eating a chicken which is pretty brutal. Obviously most of its not on screen but it’s set up enough where it’s still pretty bad. You definitely don’t want animal violence like that in any form.

The film’s ending is also leading up to this once again. Now I do think the ending is better than the original. This one leaves you some hope for some kind of master plan or a way for Stan to get out of this. Not that you’re really rooting for Stan by this point but you’re at least hoping that he avoids this fate because you wouldn’t really want that to happen to anyone. It’s a rough way to go and the laugh at the end could mean a few different things. I’d say it’s clear which way the film wants you to interpret it, as complete despair and acceptance but you could still maintain that maybe there is some grand master plan coming into play. After all Stan already knows the playbook to this so hopefully he wouldn’t be fooled so easily.

Overall, Nightmare Alley definitely shows you a circus that would give you nightmares. It can’t be easy having to live in such an environment and most of the people there are hardly around by choice. It’s a place of last resort but that doesn’t really make for an interesting film. Once we’re outside that and into the big city then the film picks up but not enough to overcome the intro. I appreciated the strategic element of the film and wish we had stayed to that more but ultimately this is not a film I would really recommend. I would much sooner say to check out the original instead.

Overall 3/10

Not as a Stranger Review


It’s time to look at a film that really overstays its welcome. It’s long enough where it keeps bringing up more and more plot points only to completely drop them when it counts. It felt like this movie didn’t have a lot of focus and we have yet another main character who has less strength of character than the foldable chairs you find at the dollar store. This film isn’t it I’m afraid.

The movie starts with introducing us to Lucas who is aspiring to be an amazing doctor. He wants to show the world what a true medical professional is and he believes in the practice. His fellow students are more concerned with how big their cars will be and don’t have the same drive. Unfortunately this makes Lucas rather arrogant. He figures that he can never make a mistake and is always blowing up at everyone. He also runs out of money when his father steals all of it so Lucas comes up with a crazy plan to marry a nurse who fell in love with him. He doesn’t actually love her but he loves the fact that she has some money saved up so he gets together with her so he can use it all up. This launches him into the career of being a doctor but at what cost?

Well not much it turns out because the film barely pays any attention to the fact that he just took her money through deception like this. It’s not really brought up again until the very end of the film and that has to be swept aside when he has his sad moment. The main problem with Lucas is that he’s basically a jerk for the whole movie and never really gets much in the way of consequences from it. Lets start off with the main instance of this here which is marrying Kris for her money.

The film doesn’t actually give this a lot of screentime when it’s a huge deal. Her family doesn’t find out about it or anything and he never has a moment where he thinks about what a rotten thing he did. Nah he just keeps about his business. He never apologizes or anything and that’s absolutely major. It just makes him completely unlikable from the jump. Then throughout the film he doesn’t treat her well as he blows up at her several times. A really bad look no matter how you slice it. He also blows up at his friend Alfred on many occasions.

Each time Alfred’s the one who is the bigger man and just takes it or says they can let it go. Lucas actually uses violence in slamming him into a mirror at one point and later on humiliates him in front of the whole medical staff. Every time Lucas basically gets away scot free without learning a lesson. I think that’s the biggest problem here which is that he never learns a lesson. Usually the main character will reflect and see how what he did was wrong but that never happens here at any point during the adventure. That is probably the most critical out of all the issues.

Then of course we have the part where he ends up having an affair and cheating on his wife. Yet another strike for a character who passed the 3 strikes a long time ago. It’s a really bad look all around and yet another element that he doesn’t get slammed for enough. That’s a real dealbreaker no matter how you slice it. So having someone like this as the main character just doesn’t work. He drags the whole film down the whole time.

You just feel bad for Kris who basically got blinded by love to the point where she was tricked like this. She ended up wasting the best years of her life when maybe she could have ended up finding someone who actually did care about her instead of being used like this instead. She had a whole lot of possibilities in her life and they all got wasted instead. Definitely a shame all around. I wouldn’t say Alfred was a great character or anything but he could have had a better friend as well.

The only part of the film that’s rather solid is how the small town is treated. The big city guys are skeptical about how a doctor could really operate there and how it would all be very backwards and outdated but the local doctor actually runs a fairly tight ship and it’s all pretty sound. All except for the head of the hospital who is unfortunately completely out of his depth and sabotaging everything. It’s a shame when the lazy part is at the top since they can’t be stopped so easily but still for the most part this is how a small town should be portrayed. Everyone was just doing their best to help each other out at any time of the day. The film could have decided to go down the wholesome route and maybe have Lucas finally notice Kris at this point instead of just doubling down on his character.

It’s why I say the film was too long and opened more doors than it could close. Lucas’ father’s plot had to just be taken care of off screen because there was no time for it. We never got to see Lucas reflecting on anything, Kris never got to talk to her family about what was going on, the old surgeon is still using the wrong technique in every operation, etc. I say they should have cut out about an hour, have Lucas head to the small town early on and then make the film more about the character development he goes through there. Obviously you cut out the cheating plot as well and then we’re in business.

Overall, The film had a chance at least to end on a reasonably sad note with the main guy just walking down a cold path on his own. That would have worked out really well but the final moments instead are a little too happy for him. You can make the case that it’s just a moment of quick compassion for someone who’s been through a rough patch and that’s probably true but it doesn’t change anything. So he’s still out of there and that makes the most sense to me. In the end it’s just a bit of a dreary film though because at no point are the characters truly happy. The whole relationship is built upon a lie and at no point does Lucas even feel guilty about it. You could do far better than this film in looking for a solid retro title.

Overall 3/10

Death on the Nile (2022) Review


I don’t rewatch mystery films very often so it’s rare to be able to go back and see the whole adventure again while already knowing the ending. This is a rare chance where I was able to do that since I saw the original film a while back. It makes for a fun perspective and all in all this is a pretty good film even if the original is certainly better if you ask me. If you can only pick one version I would say to watch the first one but otherwise this works well enough.

The film starts with Poirot enjoying a nice party and then he gets to witness a big shot enter the room. The super wealthy Linnet. Jackie introduces Linnet to her fiancé Simon and begs Linnet to give him a job. Linnet agrees but also ends up taking Simon himself to be her bride and the two get married very shortly afterwards. Poirot finds this out the hard way after bumping into an old friend Bouc and joining the group on a big honey moon adventure. They’ll be visiting pyramids and going on boat trips. The usual rich people stuff. An obstacle appears though as Jackie shows up and decides to cause a lot of trouble. She has not forgiven Linnet for stealing her man and even has a gun at the ready. Linnet asks Poirot to take care of Jackie but he doesn’t want to be a vigilante. Well, Linnet is shot to death shortly afterwards and now Poirot has to solve the case no matter what. His honor is on the line!

So this movie does add some fluff which does drag it out a bit compared to the original. As a whole the film is still engaging the whole time but the new stuff does happen to be the weakest. For example we see Poirot’s backstory which really doesn’t elevate the film in the slightest. He’s a character we don’t need to know about, just the fact that he is an ace detective. It’s a fairly sloppy origin that does borderline on boring but it’s fairly quick. It does lead to a final scene that will have you shaking your head.

The actual mystery is on point though. Linnet is introduced as a true antagonist all the way through with how she callously stole her best friend’s man like that. Now as they say, anyone who is taken so easily is not someone you want to have as a partner anyway but it’s still a huge betrayal. It also shows once again why you shouldn’t have your partner just dancing around with someone like that. Seriously there is no upside to asking your super wealthy best friend to dance with your fiancé. Particularly when he isn’t super well off which is why he needs a job right away. In the worst case Linnet could have ended up blackmailing Simon or something.

It’s also a very involved dance that is inherently romantic. Now I don’t care if they’re singing Jingle Bells or Bring me to Life, the end result is the same. You just can’t let the dance happen at the start. But obviously that means you are rooting for Jackie to take them out the whole time but she is such an obvious suspect that this should set off a lot of alarm bells in your head. Granted, even Poirot gets emotional really quickly here which shows that he isn’t quite ready for a case of this level but he starts to get his bearings. It is a little embarrassing that he slept through the whole thing but hey it happens to everyone I suppose.

Poirot is still a good main character as always and fun to watch. He definitely likes trying to anger the suspects all the time to really put them in a vulnerable headspace where they could say the wrong thing. It’s actually a really effective tactic when you think about it. Now lets talk about the suspects, there are a ton of them. Everyone should be considered one except for Linnet of course as she was taken out of the picture right away.

First up we have Jackie who is a fun character. I do think the fact that she still wants Simon makes her look really desperate of course because why would you want a cheater back. Taking him 6 feet under makes sense or getting revenge on Linnet but actually getting together with him doesn’t. He’s already been tainted and you would be the rebound at that point. Plus how could you ever trust him again? Ultimately she is a high quality character and one of the most entertaining ones in the film but that’s not the proper motivation that you want.

Another obvious suspect is Simon as well since of course he needed a lot of money and we already saw that he is quick to betray anyone to get to his own ambitions. The guy’s only honor code is that he will do whatever it takes to win. So yeah that’s a good reason as any to suspect him and of course if he is the villain it will make Linnet look pretty bad for letting him in so easily. You always have to consider that maybe your seduction techniques weren’t as great as you thought they were and the other party just let himself be ensnared. Particularly when you’re rich you need to be extra careful.

You have Bouc who is Poirot’s friend so he would have many opportunities to slip past the detective by using this knowledge. The guy wants a romance that is being blocked by his mother so perhaps he is taking his jealousy out on the newly weds. His mother is also a suspect as she believes all romance is a scam and tries to prevent it as much as possible. Someone like that might try to end everybody! Then you have Louise who is always treated terribly by Linnet and who had her own romance brutally crushed. Perhaps this is payback once and for all!

We can’t forget the singer Salome who has a gun of her own at the ready and takes no disrespect. Linnet may have said the wrong thing and that was the end of her. Sometimes all it takes is the wrong word. Then we have Rosalie who likes Bouc but their relationship isn’t approved just yet. Perhaps knocking off Linnet will be enough of a distraction for them to escape together. We can’t forget Linus who was in love with Linnet but was kept to the friend zone the whole time. She basically flaunts the relationship in his face and he has to stand there and take it. The poor guy seems down bad so maybe he finally decided to bump her off.

We also have Andrew who keeps Linnet’s finances and may have finally stolen too much this time. Perhaps he thought she would notice and had to take her out of the picture. There’s also the two older ladies on the trip who could easily launch a sneak attack when nobody was looking. There are all kinds of ways they could have gotten their hands on the gun and then that would be case closed.

So yeah a lot of motives here and there are a number of characters who could have been willing to commit the act. Part of the focus here is that just about nobody liked Linnet at all so they weren’t even sad to see her go. It’s definitely tragic if you’re in her position but she really did dig her own grave on this one. The mystery is solid and so you’ll have a good time here. It’s also long enough where you can really develop all of the characters and get to know them before the end.

As with quite a few murder mysteries I didn’t actually buy into the explanation at the end. The window of time was way too short for this all to work out as it did in the flashback. There would have been witnesses and the whole plan ends up failing at the gate. You just have to shake your head and accept the explanation but I would not say that it was a very satisfactory one. I think the film could have done better there even fi it meant diverging from the book a little. Just rearrange some things.

The film has really nice visuals and good music so the technical elements are on point. Personally this kind of honey moon would not be up my alley though as it seems like a ton of work travelling and everything when you should just be having a good time. I also would not be going anywhere near the hot areas like the desert when I’m trying to have a good time. No shot, I’d be somewhere cold at least.

Overall, Death on the Nile is a solid film. It does end up getting overtaken by the shadow of the original but as long as you’re looking for a solid thriller then you should have a good time here. There’s always something happening so you have to pay attention to every detail. Even if I didn’t buy the whole murder reveal this time or last time, it’s a fun setup which is the important thing. You can always stretch your disbelief a little bit to just have fun with the story. I look forward to seeing how the next installment goes now that we’re dabbling into a bit of horror with that one.

Overall 7/10

Someone to Watch Over Me Review

This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film about betrayal and ultimately not focusing up in time to save the day. This film definitely gets real dramatic and while it had some potential as a solid thriller, it’s ultimately not able to live up to it. The character cast is not very solid and that will ultimately always hold a film back from its full potential.

The movie starts with Claire attending a fancy party with her boyfriend. She decides to quickly ditch him for an old flame though and heads off to have an affair but before she can, he is murdered by the gangster known as Joey. She quickly screams so that Joey knows she witnessed this event and heads to the cops. They assign family man Mike to watch over her until she can testify that Joey is the crook. So there’s a strict house arrest and in theory Claire should be completely safe since this movie is realistic and it’s not like the villains are everywhere. Unfortunately Claire runs off to a party anyway and while Mike is busy having some drinks she is attacked by Joey who confirms that he will murder her if she testifies. Now she has to decide once and for all if she will be the witness here or run off. In the meantime she can betray her boyfriend Neil once again by seducing Mike who has about as much willpower as a folded napkin.

So there’s a lot going on here and definitely a lot to unpack. For starters all of the relationships here are pretty weak. Neil really has no respect for himself with the way he lets Claire run off and show him up all the time. In general I actually think parties are a really bad environment for a relationship, particularly the kind of party where everyone is getting super drunk. I would even go as far as to say you should never do any kind of dancing with other people once you’re in a relationship. Hey I know it’s a bit of a hot take but me personally? I think that’s a good boundary to have.

The sad part for Neil is it’s clear that Claire really doesn’t like him throughout the entire movie. She’s basically just with him because he has money and is a stable guy. So she intends to go crazy and have her fun now but this way she has somewhere to come back to and this guy is completely oblivious. The problem is this makes it a little harder to root for Claire because she’s such a bad character. Couldn’t they have made her a little more heroic or something? I think that would have really gone a long way personally. She just keeps on making mistake after mistake.

Of course I’m not going to shield Mike at all though. The guy is married and so any fooling around is completely taboo. Mike still allows himself to fall for Claire and that’s game over. It makes him such a bad character. Once you have gone and taken the oath you really can’t be doing things like that. He needs to stay strong and just be a quality character rather than just sabotaging his life like that. The worst part is of course he’s messing things up for his wife Ellie and their kid as well. It’s the kind of thing you can’t take back. There are no second chances when you cheat like that.

SO then you can’t root for Mike either and you’re hoping he gets bumped off in the end. The final ending of the film isn’t really satisfying for anyone. All of the characters were just so bad and it goes without saying that the romance here is abysmal as well since you’re dreading every moment with Claire and Mike. You just knew from the start that they would get together no matter how much of a bad idea that was. The film should have focused more on the actual protection angle and the main plot with Joey. I guarantee that would have been many times better than what we got.

As a villain Joey is fairly generic. He’s got a whole gang at the ready and doesn’t want to leave town since he owns the place. If the heroes actually played things smart then he wouldn’t have had a chance which is why of course they had to go to parties and such. The hostage situation was likely inevitable after a certain point which is why having Mike’s family stay in a seedy area was a bit of a risky move. I suppose you can’t move every time there is a dangerous situation but it certainly didn’t help matters.

In general the writing isn’t bad at least. You actually are invested in what’s going on which is good. It just would have been sooooo much better if the characters were more likable. I guarantee it would have helped the film turn the corner and gain a few stars. When more of the film is about the cheating plot than the actual witness protection then you know that something went wrong. Focus more on Mike lying to Claire about the danger she’s in and have the drama be about that. Get rid of them hooking up at all and instead have more moments of Joey trying to break in or some minions lurking around. Play up the paranoid angle, etc. Lots of ways you could have pushed this to make it a really dramatic film with a lot of action rather than one about bad choices all the way.

Overall, This was not a good film. The main characters absolutely sabotaged it and the ending was very weak. It just wasn’t deserved so I would have handled that wayyyy differently. Past a certain point the film was doomed anyway but at least the ending could have tried to deal with the severity of it a little better instead of brushing it all to the side. I would recommend skipping this film. There are way better thrillers out there that focus on the main plot all the way through as opposed to all of the drama.

Overall 4/10

Suspect Review

This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the movie. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a big mystery about who the true culprit is. Prepare for a lot of red herrings and a ton of people all trying to make this as crazy as possible. I always like a good court case so that made this film pretty fun and we also have some jury tampering going on which spiced things up. There is a completely unnecessary romance plot trying to get in the way though.

The movie starts off with a guy shooting himself and a lady gets murdered by the river. A suspect named Carl is picked up. He’s homeless and can’t hear or speak which makes it difficult for him to explain what’s going on. Kathleen is assigned to defend Carl which she is not thrilled about but she doesn’t really have a say in the matter. Carl isn’t being very helpful either and has an attitude issue where he keeps on attacking people. She needs to try and get past that to find out the truth but all signs point to Carl being the villain. He was seen going through the victim’s belongings and was conveniently around at the time of the murder. Fortunately Kathleen does have help from one guy, a juror named Eddie who is a lobbyist and used to getting things done. Will he be able to solve the case or will her sense of ethics get in the way?

A big focus in the movie is that of course this is completely not allowed. Jurors can’t try to investigate a case that they are in and vigilante justice is frowned upon. Jurors cannot interact with the defense or prosecutor at all or it would be a mis trial. Eddie doesn’t care about all of that though because he wants to see to it that justice is done and after some convincing, Kathleen gets on board with this as well. Now the question is, do you as the viewer go along with it?

Well for me it’s a definite yes. There’s a lot of things I don’t agree with in the justice system. The fact that I could hold the literal smoking gun of the murderer in my hand and it wouldn’t count if it wasn’t turned in as evidence in time or came out after the trial is a shame. The fact that you can have the crime on tape, but it would be inadmissible in court depending on how I got it is crazy too. So of course you need rules around the jurors so that they wouldn’t all be vigilantes but if they are able to find something out then I say that’s fair game.

So the fact that we actually have a film where a character is able to jump into the court process and get stuff done is great. This is exactly what I’ve been hoping for the whole time here and that part’s really solid. Now the characters aren’t always smart about this like heading into the main research library together to look at old files since that’s where the judge or other jurors would be if they needed intel but for the most part they’re discreet about things. If anything it’s probably easy to conspire together in most circumstances because people ultimately aren’t paying that much attention to the jurors.

Kathleen is a decent main character even if at first you can be annoyed waiting for her to accept Eddie’s help. As he says, “I thought the whole point was to find the truth right?” It’s a really good argument as well because if your client is going to get life in jail or something then you really have to do your best to win. Once she’s on board then they make for a good team. Ultimately Kathleen knows her stuff and is fairly quick to adapt when the situation isn’t going well.

Eddie is really the standout character here though. Initially he didn’t even want to be a juror but once he was the guy got interested in the case and did some digging right away. Deep down he still believes in justice and maybe working in such a corrupt field helped him out with that. So that was good to see but of course the romance does hold him back somewhat. Eddie is the kind of guy who does whatever it takes to get his objective including affairs and while this romance is supposed to be real, it just feels like it’s out of left field.

There is no reason for the characters to like each other except if they just need a desperate fling or something. Additionally there just isn’t time for this because they’re busy trying to solve a huge case right? The romance doesn’t enhance the film and should have certainly been cut out. Meanwhile the film didn’t do a great job with Carl if you ask me. Regardless of if he’s innocent or not, the guy was caught red handed stealing, he actually attacked several police officers including stabbing one of them, tried to murder Kathleen when he first saw her, etc. It gets to the point where it doesn’t matter if he’s innocent because he just committed a bunch of other crimes.

Imagine if the film ended with him being innocent of the murder charge but then still going to jail for all of the other stuff? Because that’s basically what happened. Yes, Carl’s been through a lot but it doesn’t ultimately excuse him from all the bad stuff that he’s actually done. If we were to give him a pass for all of that then it would actually undermine the legal system far more than all the juror stuff going on.

I’d argue it also makes the situation even more unlikely for Kathleen to be quite as helpful as she was. You’d think after nearly getting murdered that would be it. Also the film does need to throw in some danger so we have a psycho running around with a knife too. I would have switched out that plot with more of the political stuff since Eddie’s subplot never gets much of a resolution. The closest we get to that is when his side wins on one of the issues and he is visibly upset rather than being happy about it. I’d say that’s in line with how he’s become a lot more ethical now but it’s still not really closure per say.

Still the mystery should keep you engaged which is the important thing here. There’s a lot going on at all times and of course there are a ton of twists all throughout the movie. You won’t want to miss a beat here and the ending is pretty fun. We even do get a chase scene near the end where someone has to run from someone holding a knife and it’s an interesting scenario to try and put yourself and imagine how you would play things out. Imo one thing you have to do is find a way to make the elevator get stuck so you can’t be followed. Jam a coat and other clothes in the middle to prevent the doors from closing or something.

Overall, Suspect is a pretty good movie but it definitely does have a lot of unnecessary material in it as well. You only need so many red herrings in one movie after all. Cutting out the romance would have been good so we could focus completely on this being a mystery thriller as the heroes get closer to cracking the case. Maybe more screen time into the actual court proceedings as well. I felt like the prosecutor was completely destroying the main heroine purely from an arguments perspective so as the juror I’d be leaning on a guilty verdict but maybe seeing some of the deliberations could have helped with that or more of the counter arguments since we didn’t get to see it all. I also wouldn’t have minded some more scenes on the political end with Eddie really making waves and manipulating everyone. He definitely does seem good at his job and ultimately that works out well for everyone here. If you enjoy a good court drama and don’t mind some vigilante material then this one is all set for you.

Overall 7/10

Suzume Review


It’s time for the next big anime film. This one was definitely getting quite a lot of buzz when it was coming out. Ultimately it is a pretty solid title through and through. It feels like it’s missing something compared to some of the other really big anime films but ultimately there’s a lot of heart and emotional moments here so it works well enough. We even get a quick action scene which is always appreciated.

The story starts by introducing us to Suzume who is your average teen wandering through the mysteries of life. One day she passes by a random dude asking if she’s seen any old ruins. She tells him about an abandoned town and continues on her day but gets curious and heads back. She ends up opening a mysterious door that seems to lead to space but when she goes through it, nothing happens. So Suzume heads back to school but now she can see things that nobody else can. Smoke, giant worm monsters, etc. She needs answers and heads back but it turns out the door she opened has caused a weakening in the rift between dimensions and the worms are going to end the world. She has to find a way to close all of the doors and recover the keystone quickly but this will be difficult as the expert on this (The stranger known as Souta) gets cursed into being a children’s chair by a mysterious cat who may have sinister intentions. Can Suzume handle all of this?

Now that plot may sound like we’re about to embark on a Shonen Jump adventure of the utmost hype but this is still more of an adventure story. See, Suzume has to get around the control to plug up all the door as they show up but she’s a teenager without a ton of money so she has to rely on the kindness of strangers. She meets many different people who are all very helpful. You have a lady who sells apples, a lady who dances, and even Souta’s old friend who wants some money that is owed to him.

Suzume gets to see how everyone has their own issues and happy moments and it’s a way for her to come to terms with her troubled past. Yes, she has a backstory involving lots of destruction and losing her mother at a young age which definitely plays a role in this movie. See, her aunt (Tamaki) has had to take care of Suzume for all of these years and Suzume worries that this has held Tamaki back quite a bit. Now Suzume has a true purpose and so she can turn her whole life around.

The writing is solid here and the movie may be long but it makes the most of every minute. There’s just a lot happening here and so you’re able to learn a lot about all of the characters and enjoy the experiences. It’s always nice to see a bunch of people just helping out without any of them turning out to be evil or some jaded stuff like that. This is a happy story first and foremost. I would even argue that despite Suzume’s backstory the film is happy for around 90% of its runtime. I’d categorize it as a feelgood film personally.

One of the main themes is really about asking for help when you need it and that people have your back. It’s a good message and Suzume always pays the kindness forward to the next person. So with everyone helping each other out all of the time that is really a recipe for success. It also means that the film isn’t really likely to make many mistakes as upbeat films are supposed to be fun so you’re not going to run into any terrible characters or anything like that.

Now that’s not to say the film is perfect as none are but also I did mention this was missing something. To me what it is really missing here is that the main character’s arc feels a bit incomplete/didn’t resolve the way I’d expect it to. A lot of the film, in fact just about all of it is her fault. She opens the door and removes the seal which causes all of this to go wrong. Then she basically runs away from home to help Souta on his quest but does this without telling Tamaki at first and then doubling down during every interaction.

When Tamaki gets upset she is 100% justified because it’s a huge deal. Having your daughter (Because that’s basically her role in this dynamic) vanish suddenly like this and then be travelling across the place with a man that they don’t even know is completely suspect. Yet I feel Suzume takes absolutely 0 responsibility for this. She acts very defensively throughout the movie and rejects all of Tamaki’s attempts to help her. Ultimately Tamaki decides to be the bigger person and really just makes this work but I really think the film could have benefited from Suzume making a real apology near the end.

Not a “We both made mistakes” kind of moment or anything like that but just a really nice thank you at the end considering everything Tamaki did. Tamaki really put her job on the line in leaving for so long to help Suzume and has given up a whole lot to help her. Even though Tamaki was being mind controlled at one point when she finally blows up at Suzume and she wouldn’t have ever said those things otherwise, it was mostly correct. Of course her romantic endeavors would be weakened quite a bit due to her role of watching over Suzume and she lost a ton of freedom as a result as well. It’s not something that Tamaki regrets but I’d say it underscores just how hard she’s worked to give Suzume a really good life and it felt like the main heroine was not very grateful at all.

Suzume’s still a good character, I just felt like she did not really see the whole picture and could come across as selfish at times. Likewise I wasn’t a big fan of Souta for the same reason. He’s one of the most ungrateful characters you can think of. He constantly tells Suzume to stand back so he could handle the situation only for him to fumble it. Then after a whole journey risking life and limb he barely has time to say thanks before heading off as if this was just another day at the office.

Now the good part about this is that means there isn’t really much time for romance here. That’s good because I would not say this would have been a quality romance either way. It wasn’t developed enough and just didn’t make sense. Same with Tamaki and that random co-worker who feels completely stuck in the friend zone to me. He just needs to tell her how he feels straight up because otherwise all this beating around the bush is not going to work.

Tamaki and Serizawa have a great fight for being the best character in the film. Tamaki is super responsible and always doing the right thing as I mentioned before. So it’s always great to see her doing what she can here. Meanwhile Serizawa is just a really good friend doing his best to help out. He’s completely out of his depth in terms of what’s going on but still sticks around to make sure that Souta is okay and that nothing happens to the two ladies. He really does his best to break the tension all the time too even if he is largely unsuccessful. He’s just trying to have a good time which isn’t always easy.

The soundtrack is okay but not too remarkable. I’d say Your Name and Belle are much more memorable although Belle should perhaps not count since having a lot of songs is actually part of the plot. The animation is pretty good. As always I feel like these big movies don’t look quite as sharp as the average anime since it’s trying to be more mainstream and not have the colors be as sharp but they do go all out for the scenes of the heroes closing the doors. Then the animators are really able to cut loose. So in general this looks pretty smooth.

I didn’t talk about the supernatural stuff here much but that’s mainly because I’d argue it’s not super important to the plot. The actual story of closing the doors and all that is really just the excuse to have Suzume travel the country and meet a lot of people. I’d argue the story itself is sort of the McGuffin in this case as it doesn’t really matter. We do get some nice visuals and a quick fight from it but that’s why even the film doesn’t seem to care as much about it. The cats are intentionally vague and unhelpful for basically the entirety of the movie because if they actually were straight forward then the movie would have been over really quickly. I did like the quick time travel conversation paradox we got near the end though. That was a really good use of the doorways. And of course the climax was pretty good so while the film’s more about the human interactions, the actual story did lead to some good stuff.

Overall, Suzume is a pretty solid film. I’d say it has a good amount of replay value and it’s the kind of movie that does leave you feeling good afterwards. It’s just a complete title with a lot going on and while it may not be the kind of movie that leaves you with a lot to discuss afterwards, your experience will be a good one. Now we just have to wait a bit until the next big anime film comes out so we can see how that one stacks up.

Overall 7/10

Scooby-Doo! and Krypto, Too! Review


I always forget just how short these films can be but man do you feel it with this one. It just ends so fast and I think that does take away from what they could have done here. Ultimately it’s a fun enough movie even if I wouldn’t consider it to be one of the strongest ones. Just having the DC heroes/villains here is pretty fun. At the end of the day I also tend to enjoy crossovers quite a bit so that adds a bit of an extra punch to the experience right out of the gate.

The film starts with the Justice League vanishing and the culprit appears to be some kind of fire ghost. Clearly he is a threat to be able to take out someone like the mighty Superman. Lois tries to investigate but the monster is too tricky so for once she gives up on the biggest story of her life and instead brings in the Mystery Gang to solve this. They look scared right out of the jump with their credibility diminishing the longer they are in the room but they vow to solve this case and help save the world. Can this terrified group of youngsters surpass their limits to save the day?

Now you may be thinking, what about Krypto? No worries he randomly shows up in the Hall of Justice and helps out. Aside from Shaggy and Scooby the rest of the gang aren’t impressed since they think that Krypto is just some normal dog. I think this is supposed to be funny because they’re used to Scooby Doo doing all kinds of crazy things but now they’re skeptical. Perhaps they are right to be though because Krypto looks very underwhelming for most of the film. When the heroes are attacked by a group of villains Krypto is the first to run for the door and spends a while trying to open it instead of helping out.

He then gets absolutely crushed in his only one on one fight against another dog. This may be a Krypto crossover film but he looks so bad that you may wonder why he was in the title. His role just isn’t as critical as you would expect it to be for a 50/50 crossover like this. I would say Courage got a lot more to do in his adventure. It’s still nice to see Krypto of course and they show off his powers but when he scratches on a door instead of busting it open you wonder how much of his super strength he actually kept. Not enough if you ask me.

From the DC side the main characters here as Lex Luthor, Mercy, Lois Lane, and Jimmy Olsen. Jimmy looks pretty bad the whole time too as he’s so desperate to be with Daphne that he made up this whole rationale in his head. He looks desperate the whole time but no worries he does vanish for most of the film. Lois looks tough as you’d expect and isn’t afraid to take shots at the cast. That said I do find it a bit out of character that she wouldn’t pursue the story herself. Yeah we get a half hearted excuse about covering other stories since the city is being overrun but that’s not quite good enough.

Mercy looks solid here as she tries to balance everything out for Lex. Her role is really satisfying all the way through and the film is able to handle the dynamic with her and Lex better than a lot of other titles to be honest. Lex is hamming up the villain angle quite a bit in this film but you would expect that with the Scooby gang in tow. This is where the film shined a bit more than I expected because I was ready for him to just be the comic relief for a while there but his role is actually rather solid. Yeah he has some anti feats in terms of intelligence but based on the ending you could make the case that it was all an act and I would take that case.

The Scooby gang are mainly as you would expect. Scooby and Shaggy are still running from every threat and generally getting taken down with minimal effort. I still think by now they should have improved a little more so I tend to be a little critical of them. Velma does good in getting hints and cracking the case so I have no issues with her. In some ways you could say it’s one of her better appearances because she’s really not getting distracted and just works to solve the case. You can’t say that most of the other characters in this one.

Fred looks pretty bad here as he keeps grilling Daphne about her and Jimmy despite being in the room when she explained that they were never together. He looks really insecure the whole time and then he gets cared easily and everything. His confidence issues are definitely not fitting for his character since he should always be the calm and collected leader who gets the job done. At his core that’s who Fred Jones is after all. A man on a mission but at least he gets some stuff to do during the climax.

Meanwhile Daphne’s not bad. She gets to fight quite a bit as the films have established her as the best fighter for a while now. She’s able to use Batman’s skills with ease and dishes out a lot of damage the whole time. Honestly it might be time for her to leave the mystery gang and become a crimefighter full time to make the best use of her talents. She could be making a real difference in the city by now.

Despite the film’s short overall length it does still manage to deliver a fairly long climax which I found to be impressive. There is a whole lot of action as we get to see all of the heroes and villains mixing it up in the city. We even get a brief battle between Mercy and Daphne which I would have liked to have seen more of since it would have had a lot of good choreography. So the action at the end was really appreciated particularly since it helped to give the DC side of this crossover a little more shine.

The humor can be a little more on the hit or miss side. I think one issue with the series is that sometimes they do tend to do the same gag over and over until it’s run into the ground. Fred trying to find out about Jimmy from Daphne, Scooby and Shaggy never being able to eat their meal in peace, etc. Still at the end of the day it’s nothing so bad that it would hurt the score big time or anything like that. The writing just isn’t nearly as clever as it’s trying to be.

Overall, Scooby Doo delivers with another fun film here. At the end of the day it may not be one of the more intense Scooby Doo titles but the novelty of having the DC characters in here makes up the difference. If you like Krypto then you’ll probably be disappointed but otherwise just enjoy the DC universe and you’ll have a good time here. I look forward to seeing Scooby Doo churn out more titles and hopefully another big crossover soon.

Overall 7/10

The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock Review


It’s time for a parody of a film that I wasn’t a big fan of. Fortunately this one blows the original out of the water. I’m not going to say that it’s a great film or anything but it’s fun enough and worth a few laughs. Ultimately I would say that it is solid and a film that you don’t want to forget because of how absurd the whole thing is.

The film starts off by introducing us to Rossiter who is running for governor. This guy knows that he is the best man for the job and is eager to do whatever it takes to win. The only real obstacle in his path is the garbage disposal man, Artie. Artie is someone who has resisted Rossiter’s total ownership of the town. This man owns all of the businesses except for Artie’s. The worst part is that his niece Emmy is dating Artie which Rossiter fears will lower his own social reputation. Well Artie manages along just fine until Emmy grows huge one day. Now her appetite is fierce and she desperately needs to consume more and more calories. Can he really handle her at this point or is it game over for Artie?

Artie is one of those guys who isn’t very smart and so he rarely notices when someone’s insulting him. He tends to be getting dominated throughout the film with a variety of insults but at least his spirits never go low because he takes it all in stride. The guy is really carefree in a lot of ways and that’s nice because it really means that he can always make a comeback. Through misunderstandings and absurd events going on he manages to usually get some victories too like Rossiter allowing him to marry Emmy.

Artie’s ultimately not one of the most likable characters though because of this. Not being very smart tends to hurt when it’s to an exaggerated degree. He did somehow create a robot capable of moving through time and space while bending reality though so he does have some skills. It does lead to a fairly interesting climax with a lot going on though. If you thought the first half was crazy, well the second half definitely escalates this quite a bit. Trust me the film was not holding back at all.

Emmy doesn’t look as good here though because she tends to be unreasonable once she’s a giant. Now you could say that a side effect of turning giant is that it’s destroying her reasoning skills and that’s certainly possible but I’m not sure that I’m giving her that out yet. The film doesn’t really go into that and so in the end it can make her look a little petty. She causes a ton of collateral damage when throwing the trees around and ultimately takes her vengeance a little too far. Honestly people could have died after all of the rampaging. Also the town did pretty well to get her the jumbo food and drink considering that this was a situation nobody had seen before.

Finally I did enjoy Rossiter’s character quite a bit. Yeah the guy’s as selfish and uncaring as can be but that’s part of his charm. He’s the guy who would run you over to save 50 cents if he needed too. All he cares about is himself and he’s not afraid to flaunt that. He has a ton of close calls while on camera but always manages to play them off which shows how resourceful he is. I actually think he could do a pretty good job all things considered. Yeah he’s not someone you could ever trust because of how two faced he is, but by all accounts he’s run the town really well.

Throughout the film everyone seems really happy and they all get along. So wouldn’t you say that Rossiter should take most of the credit for that since he owns every business? He also seems to get along with just about everyone aside from the main character which is pretty impressive. This guy has good people skills to be sure and the film establishes him well. Considering the short runtime each character has a very well defined personality right out of the gate.

The writing is really solid and the humor is on point here. Of course you really need to enjoy this humor style. I’d still consider it slapstick even if the main guy isn’t getting knocked around too much because he does get grabbed a few times. You just know he would have been slugged if there weren’t witnesses around. He definitely needs to be careful because Rossiter is not the kind of guy who will give up. You easily could have done sequels to this movie if all of the actors had still been around because there’s a whole lot of potential around the setup.

The best gag was probably when the machine started explaining how the wedding would have to wait and then it went farther to start yelling that there would be no wedding. Of course it was just another glitch but the timing was just perfect for trolling the main two. It’s clear that the robot still has a lot of errors to iron out but at least it come through when it counts. You can’t really ask for much more than that.

Overall, This is a fun film like I said before. I don’t think you’ll find it super memorable so eventually this will fade away but it’s short and never drags on. The characters have some nice back and forth banter the whole time as well which is always good. The writing did a good job here and so mixing that in with the effective humor makes the film a winner as well. It’s probably a rare case of a good film that would have been worse if it was too long because then it would drag on but that doesn’t happen here. A good movie knows when to end and I did enjoy the final scene here as a nice gag to end things off.

Overall 6/10

Bloodsport Review

This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a big tournament epic! Bloodsport is a film I can’t say I was too familiar with even though it’s a whole series. After watching it I can definitely see the appeal though as I always enjoy a big tournament like this. Now the story beats may be overly predictable to a dramatic degree as the film really telegraphs every moment but even with that it’s executed well.

The film starts off by introducing us to Frank. He used to get into a lot of trouble but eventually he was taken in by a nice man and learned the ways of the martial arts although mostly it was second hand as he wasn’t taught directly. The guy’s real son was the one who was meant to be the champion but unfortunately he ended up dying early. Frank figures it is up to him to achieve the dream of winning the ultimate tournament now and so he gets some training in and then heads over there. This tournament is a huge deal so fighters from around the globe will be participating. It’s all done under the books as this tournament isn’t exactly official. Now why would you enter a tournament where you could die? For some it’s a matter of honor and for others it’s the money. Either way it’s the opportunity of a lifetime!

So yeah it’s very much a Mortal Kombat setup right from the start here. There are a ton of battles and that’s one thing I really liked about this film. A lot of times in these martial art titles there can be a lot of deadtime before you get to the tournament. The training is important too of course but I want to see the matches. This has to be one of the longest tournaments that I’ve seen in a long while and trust me when I say that this is a very good thing. We see all kinds of opponents so you are reminded that this isn’t just a small battle with the main character and a bunch of throwaways.

A small detail I appreciated here is that most of the opponents put up a fight. For example in your average film the main villain will sleepwalk his way to the grand finals. Instead Li actually has a tough go of it at least for a little bit against several of these opponent. His victory is never in doubt but I’m glad that they at least landed shots. It feels a little unrealistically when the villain just steamrolls everyone no matter how good he is. These are all professional fighters after all.

Each fighter also has a different fighting style. You really get to see a lot of variety here and all of the fights are really intense. We’re talking kickboxers, sumo style, aggressive hands, jumping around, etc. It works really well as a solid blend to keep each match really interesting. You also get to recognize the characters as they go through the rounds. So yes this tournament was handled excellently with the bracket and actually making every fight feel real.

The pacing is on point as well and Frank makes for a good main character. He is confident in his abilities and really does well in battle. I also appreciate how confident he is, Frank knows that he is a good fighter after all. My only complaint is when he didn’t step in as a guy was harassing a girl on the bus. Feels like most main characters would have stepped in there. It was also a bit of a bizarre intro to Ray’s character as he’s meant to be the likable sidekick after the opening scene.

He brags a ton and the more he brags the more you know his ending is going to be painful. Even so you’re meant to like the guy so the opening scene just doesn’t work. I’ll also say I think the film overdid it with all the bragging in the final round. Cmon I don’t care how overconfident the guy is, he knows exactly who he is fighting. You don’t just turn your back like that for so long. The scene is so exaggerated that it would be funny except you knew that a lot of pain was coming up.

This film definitely does go all in on the finishing blows which is another thing that will feel like Mortal Kombat. The fights with Li always end with a final blow where it feels like a 50/50 on if you’ll die or not. He holds nothing back and the tournament isn’t going to eject him for it so he keeps escalating. He has murdered someone more than once after all. The tournament’s moment of silence definitely didn’t make sense with how callous they were the whole time. It’s also a completely empty gesture considering they aren’t going to disqualify him either way.

Li’s definitely a bad guy through and through however he makes for a great final boss. You do want a powerful opponent like that at the end and the final fight has a lot of good back and forth. Li does have to cheat so it does show right away who’s better but the final fight is really on point the whole time. It’s also a little less exaggerated of a comeback than Kickboxer so you can buy into the eyes closed fighting a bit more. Ultimately it makes for a fun climax.

Now I did still have some issues with the film. First off is the romance subplot with the reporter Janice. She can be pretty annoying the whole time. So at first she wants to get into the tournament and is doing whatever she can to make this plan work. Then once Janice gets in she starts to think that the violence is too much and gets angry at Frank. I never like this kind of plot because everybody told her to stay away but she insisted that she could handle it…and then she couldn’t. Cmon…that’s just bad.

Additionally the romance is really abrupt and comes out of nowhere. Given that it’s not even going to continue, it just feels like a waste where we could have had more fights instead. Frank also needed to give the tournament his full concentration so the fact that he was almost late to a match because of that was rough. The other time was because of the army so I can cut him a little slack there.

Also the government plot could have been cut out. I suppose it helps to explain why Frank is so powerful and well conditioned but you could have easily established that with his origin. The plot just doesn’t add anything to the film except for a slight obstacle that isn’t taken very seriously anyway. The fact that they were ready to knock him out is crazy. It gives us some decent humor scenes but eh the film would have been okay either way.

Overall, Bloodsport is a pretty solid film. It has a nice sense of humor and a pretty good cast of characters. You should be warned that the film can definitely be quite violent, particularly with the finishing blows. In some cases it’s not even the blow itself that is so intense, but the build up to it because you always know what’s about to happen. Still the fight choreography is really on point and for the most part the film is careful not to overdo it the way that Kickboxer did. Yeah this is one I could safely recommend.

Overall 6/10

Out of the Fog Review


It’s time for one of those movies where 90% of it wouldn’t happen if the characters would just talk to each other. Unfortunately everyone’s rather tightlipped here which leads to the villain getting away with a whole lot. At least it should serve as a cautionary tale that sometimes you need a little help to deal with a villain and that’s okay.

The movie starts with Olaf and Jonah enjoying their fishing as per usual. It’s their main hobby as a way to take a break from their day jobs and it’s been a long standing position. Well one day a guy named Harold shows up and basically he’s a criminal who blackmails people into giving them money. He says that if the heroes don’t give him money then he’s going to break their boat and beat them up. If they continue to resist then he will ultimately destroy them. Jonah is completely against this while Olaf believes they should just pay the money. meanwhile Harold starts dating Jonah’s daughter and Jonah doesn’t have the heart to tell her what a bad man he is. will they be okay?

There’s a lot of issues here of course but the biggest one is not telling Stella about Harold from the beginning. As soon as Jonah found out he should have told her so she could hopefully break this off and then he could make a move. Instead he stays silent about the whole thing even after Harold comes over one day and beats Jonah up for lying about the money. It’s just a really crummy situation all around. I appreciate Jonah standing up for himself for a bit but he really needed to take that a step further.

Get the cops involved, let Stella know, make this a really big deal as needed. Jonah is well known in the area so he would have a lot of support. Yes Harold is dangerous but the longer you let him dictate the terms of engagement the worse it’s going to be in the end. Olaf is a lot more passive so I don’t agree with him in just paying the toll. The toll is simply going to get more and more expensive which is why in general you’re never supposed to give a blackmailer what they want. It will just never end so while it’s going to be dangerous you have to do something about it.

Olaf and Jonah ultimately come up with a plan to murder Harold which is good but they do fumble a bit when they aren’t able to go through with it. Fortunately luck is on their side and it works out but they easily could have died there. When you make an attempt to murder someone but then stop halfway, that’s usually going to end very poorly. Trust me that’s the worst way to go.

As the main villain Harold is pretty annoying here. He’s your general blackmailer so nothing special there but he just keeps getting wins here due to the heroes not coordinating properly. The fact that he’s persistent with Stella until she agrees to go out with him is awful. Then he’s basically rubbing it in Jonah’s face while the guy doesn’t say anything. Yeah he needed to go down a whole lot sooner.

Stella is unfortunately an awful character as well. So you know how I was upset with Jonah for not telling her the truth about Harold from the jump right? Well later on he finally manages to tell her that he blackmails people and she basically just says that everyone has to make a living somehow. She’s completely fine with this guy being a crook as long as it means she gets to travel and live a rich lifestyle. It’s a really big hit against her character because it shows how she is really lacking a moral compass. She will do whatever she needs to in order to move forward.

Yes this includes betraying George, the guy who’s been with her for a while. Yeah their relationship wasn’t exactly official all the way through. I guess you could say she was keeping him around until she found something better but it’s a pretty rough deal for him. He even tries to fight Harold but unfortunately gets folded immediately. This guy just needs to forget about Stella because she really doesn’t seem worth it.

The worst part is that the fishing hobby will never be quite as relaxing as it once was. Now the two main characters will always be on the lookout a bit wondering if someone else is going to try to appear and pull a fast one on them. Additionally it’s not like the relationship with Jonah and his daughter will ever be the same since she basically chose a random stranger over trusting in his advice. That’s a really tough blow and so the fallout from this film will likely be rather large.

The writing is good though. As you’ve come to expect from these old titles, the script is on point and the pacing is good. The film doesn’t drag on or anything like that even if you may be grimacing at some points. At its core this also feels like a situation that can and probably has happened to people before. So make sure you have your proper takeaways from the film on what not to do and how you could avoid this outcome.

Overall, Out of the Fog is a movie that has some pretty interesting storylines but the whole thing just comes across as annoying. Harold should have been stopped a whole lot sooner than he was if the characters had actually been paying attention here. Just bring in the cops and end this real fast. Instead they have to suffer for quite a while until they finally manage to take this guy down with a little luck. If the characters had acted better it all would have been over a lot quicker. I’d say you could do better in the Noir genre.

Overall 4/10