Tag Archives: Remake

The Fog (2005) Review

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Our trip through horror land continues with The Fog! As you recall, I saw the original The Fog quite a while ago. I can’t say that it was a very pleasant experience and this one isn’t either. I dare say that it’s worse than the original and suffers from some problems that the first did not. That’s never a good thing, but it is to be expected. While it’s not the biggest trainwreck out there, The Fog doesn’t do modern horror films any favors.

An island is about to celebrate the anniversary of when it was founded by their heroes. The thing is, their “heroes” are actually traitors who backstabbed the poor people who used to be on the island and then threw them all overboard while also burning them alive. These ghosts didn’t like that….they didn’t like that at all! To have their vengeance, they’re going to destroy every last person on the island. It’s going to be a busy weekend for them…so time to get started!

Unlike the original film, the radiohost isn’t really the main character. She’s around, but instead the main guy is a man from the village. He’s driving around when a girl shows up in the forest and they decide to become more than friends on the spot. Once they’re done, she tries to head home, but isn’t welcome there so she goes home with the main character. We’re attacked with more fanservice scenes and forced romances that are as shallow as you can get in a film before the ghosts start to attack with more force. The body count begins to rise and we learn that the drunk pastor actually knew about the whole situation from the start. He just doesn’t care enough to actually try and save everybody.

As you might expect, there are no likable characters here. The ghosts have a few decent points and while it doesn’t excuse murder, the heroes aren’t making a very good case for themselves. They’re just standing around and allowing themselves to get wrecked. Spooner, a random guy who gets into the this situation, is framed for destroying two girls and his friend so he quickly escapes the hospital to find the main character. How he got past the guards we’ll never know.

All of the main characters meet up inside of the burning house like in the first film, but then they realize that it wasn’t their best move. The climax takes a strange turn that’s pretty terrible though as we learn that Elizabeth, the main female lead, was actually the wife of one of the pirates. So, we get another forced romance with the ghost and as they vanish, we try to recall what the point of the film was. I would have preferred a classic stinger like in the original film. That was surprisingly absent in this version.

It almost goes without saying that the film can be pretty violent. It’s not quite as excessive as other horror films, but when you just look at it in a vaccum, it’s still up there in terms of violence levels. The gimmick of the pirates is that they always aim for the eyes, which can be pretty gruesome. Meanwhile, I also didn’t care for the fact that the old aunt had to bite the big one again. I feel like old people should be considered out of bounds for the villains in these slasher/horror films. It’s not nearly as bad as getting a dog, but still pretty bad.

Nick is also a very underwhelming main character. Forced romances and desperation aside, he’s not very smart. He had actual evidence that Spooner did not commit the murders, but decided to hide it instead of giving it to the cops. Naturally, the ghosts used this chance to track Elizabeth down and take it from her. Nick basically cost Spooner his freedom at the time and he never looked back.

I wouldn’t even say that the ghosts look all that menacing. Old pirates with fishhooks? We can do better than that. At least they are pretty fast thanks to their mist and they did succeed in taking out the weather man. Even the kid barely managed to escape from the power of these ghosts. The fog is just too thick and too intense.

Keep in mind that as a remake, this “The Fog” also feels like an abridged version of the original. Many plot lines were basically cut out to make way for some more action scenes or just generic tension moments. The ghosts have the same motive as in the original, but instead of a life for a life, they just want to murder everyone. Having a reincarnated ghost living a fake life before realizing her true purpose also came at the expense of the majority of the story. I’m also not sure why the film felt the need to wreck the Pastor. He was a great character in the original and one of the only sensible ones around, but in this film he’s just a drunk who couldn’t care less if they all went and died against these pirates. Talk about dramatic right? The heroes can never get a straight answer out of him.

Almost forgot one last thing, the old man by the beach! He found some artifacts and warned Elizabeth that if she touched it…things would change. She ignored him and snatched it, rather quickly, from his hands. After laughing it off with Nick, she went home, but things started to change. It’s fun to think about whether the old man was off his rocker or if touching the object started a chain reaction. You know…when I actually think about this film. I’m inclined to say that the old guy was just crazy and another red herring for the fans, but adding a little misdirection is always a good thing I’d say.

Overall, The Fog isn’t a very good film and is in fact..a bad film. It’s not as good as the original and suffers from the main issues that you tend to expect from a remake. There’s more fanservice and the characters are less developed. The film moves at a very high speed, but this isn’t a totally good thing when you think about it and speed can’t save the rest of the film. There’s no real reason to watch The Fog, but if you want a generic horror film where everyone is bumped off one at a time. Maybe this will be up your alley, just remember that it’s not exactly a scripting masterpiece so prepare to wince. If Aunt Connie had lived and taken out her shotgun, things could have been a little different….I doubt it would have helped all that much though. If the film really wanted to be good, then taking away the fanservice scenes and forced romance plots would have done it wonders and maybe bumped it up a full 2 stars.

Overall 1/10

Poltergeist (2015) Review

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It’s time to take a look at the remake of the original Poltergeist film. I actually saw this film a while back, but the review has been rotting in my backlog for some time now. Surprisingly, I thought that the film was fairly decent and by all accounts…it is actually better than the original film. I know that critics wouldn’t agree and by all accounts…I’m talking about mine. This film doesn’t take itself quite as seriously as the original nor does it feel nearly as long and I almost consider it to be an abridged version. For some reason, I get that vibe from most horror films like I Still Know What You Did Last Summer and the latest The Fog. They all just go by so quickly that the villains barely even have time to hype themselves up a little.

A family moves into a new house…and weird things begin to happen. It’s sort of like Five Nights at Freddy’s if you ignore the plot of both items and just focus on the scary jump moments. The family must try to resist the ghosts, but the daughter is taken to the spirit world which certainly complicates matters. The family calls in a version of the Ghost Busters, but even that may not be enough to save them from imminent destruction and complete obliteration.

This film is a lot newer than the original so the effects are certainly more polished even if that means that they may not be as “scary” (Still don’t believe that films can actually be scary) There’s no family dog here, which was a big relief and the film is also toned down from the original. One guy’s face doesn’t start to peel off, which is a welcome improvement. There’s still a maggots/roach scene, which is pretty gross and unnecessary, but it could have been worse. As this is a horror film, the characters make as many mistakes as possible to fill their quotas. One guy nearly gets rammed through with a screwdriver/jackhammer but decides not to tell anyone about this. They couldn’t have done anything about it, but sharing is caring right?

When it’s not cutting out scenes from the original, this film follows the old plot very closely. As a result, you will know everything that is about to happen before it happens. It’s why such literal remakes are risky since it’s hard to scare anyone when they know what to expect. Honestly, I’m not sure what the film’s gameplan was for this since they didn’t seem to even try and escape from this issue. The film played it close to the cuff and while that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it also limited the movie’s opportunities.

Honestly, I’d say that the film was a little on the generic side although it was certainly more tasteful than the average Horror film. I didn’t mind the film all that much while watching it. It could even be fun at times like when the dad brought home pizza and chicken for dinner. The kids were rather ungrateful though and the situation got dicey, but it was neat. Adding in the rebellious teenage daughter was a little much though and one of those modern effects that makes you back up a little. The parents got to go to a fancy party and we actually saw it this time so that was neat I suppose.

It’s actually hard to find enough things to say about this movie to fill in the review. It’s the kind of flick that you will essentially forget after a little while because it furfills the cliches of horror 101, but doesn’t try to make a name for itself. Knowing horror films, this is probably a good thing though. Poltergeist actually ends up being the most positively received horror film by this blog in quite a while so it certainly did something right.

The actions scene where the heroes try to rescue the daughter from the portal using the rope is still classic. I felt like that plot was handled better than in the original. The clown was a lot weaker here though, but I can live with that since a toy clown should be no match right from the get go. As mentioned earlier, the film’s pacing is a lot quicker and I’d say that this is a good thing. The film doesn’t need to bother trying to develop the characters since they’re mainly here to be scared anyway. Just give them some basic personality and you should be all set for some action. The characters were actually pretty reasonable considering the genre and while the kids were annoying…how could they not be? I’d still take them over the kids in The Shining and Insidious any day of the week. I do like how casually people around the block take the whole house blowing up thing. This should have been filmed in New York, you really wouldn’t get a reaction from those tough blokes. They’ve seen it all and aren’t afraid to remind you of that from time to time. There’s a reason why New York City is known as the greatest place on the planet after all!

Now, I wonder if this film will get remade again someday. I certainly wouldn’t be surprised, but it’s a film that should be left alone for a little while. Then the writers can think about how they should improve it some more. This remake added to stars to the score so if they keep up at this pace, the series will be doing quite well! The next remake should be a little different though so surprise the audience a little.

Overall, Poltergeist is a decent horror film for what it’s worth, but that’s still not saying a whole lot. I couldn’t really recommend the film because I don’t know why you would be seeing it. If you want something that’s more intense, but less tasteful, then you’ve got the original film. If you want to watch something new and fancy, why are you in the horror genre? Poltergeist just doesn’t do anything within the genre and just becomes another horror film to be forgotten on the shelf. At least it had the nice portal effects though, I always like those.

Overall 4/10

Cinderella (2015) Review

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Cinderella is a classic film and I actually got a chance to review the original about half a year ago. It’s a pleasant film and you can see why people are so fond of it even if it’s not my cup of tea. That being said, the remake leaves a little to be desired. It tries too hard to be emotional and some characters like Cinderella’s father look pretty bad. I’d also argue that Cinderella herself isn’t a great character here.

I’m sure that you are all aware of the story. Cinderella’s mother died when the girl was still young and then her father decided to marry someone else and then leave home for a few months. He died while overseas and Cinderella went from being a girl of high standing to a slave. She finds magical strength through her fairy god mother and marries the prince so she can regain her social power. The plot limits the film’s potential, but if handled right it could still be good.

First off, I did not like Cinderella’s father at all. He certainly doesn’t come off as being very smart or wise and he is played the entire time. He marries a widow who has two rather mean spirited kids and then leaves Ella to fare for herself. I’ll just stick to calling her Cinderella since it held up I suppose. You just have to wonder how the father did not notice how sinister his new family members were and he was very oblivious. I also felt that he moved on too quickly even considering that there was a time skip. He was a very unlikable character.

Naturally, he was not as bad as the step sisters. They’re bullies who pick on Cinderella the whole time and since the main character doesn’t know how to fight or engage in verbal fisticuffs, she’s easy prey for them. Cinderella’s step mother is also fairly mean to her as she just wants to be rich and doesn’t like Cinderella from the start. Dealing with the three bullies turns out to be too much for the delicate main character.

Even Cinderella ended up being an unlikable character in the end. I like main characters to be nice. It’s a good trait and one that you don’t see as much as I would like. The problem is that Cinderella is a push over and there’s a very fine line there. Keep in mind that the place was still hers, but the step mother asks her to move to the attic and Cinderella allows this. The step mother gives her slave chores to do and slowly takes away all of Cinderella’s possessions. “Did she just walk up slowly and wreck Cinderella’s dress?” Props if you got the meme reference, but Cinderella basically allows herself to be a verbal punching bag for the new recruits.

One scene where you will also be frustrated with the main character is when she allows the cat to almost destroy one of her little mouse friends because the step mother stared her down. Cinderella seriously has no backbone in this film and allowing one of her friends to see his life flash before his eyes was the last straw. You’ll have a tough time finding a weaker willed main character no matter what film you decide to watch. Naturally, the romance was also nothing special and Cinderella was basically just escaping her situation. Falling in love with someone after meeting them for like 4-5 minutes is certainly iffy by any stretch of the imagination.

The prince was decent and I’ll give him kudos for not hunting the animal that he nearly destroyed. Hunting is wrong and now he has learned his lesson for good! His plot had some drama as his father died and there was a traitor in his army, but I actually preferred this plot to the main one. The royal characters were all fairly interesting and it’s always nice to see their social power. The bullies wouldn’t be able to stop these guys so the Prince was able to have his justice at last.

I think you can probably tell that this film is getting under a 5. For the most part, it’s a fairly charming film, but it starts to fall to pieces once the father dies as the bullying starts and drags on for quite a while. Another negative is actually the costume designs. I haven’t actually had to launch a complaint against a live action film for this in quite a while (Since the Charlie’s Angel days) but there is a lot of cleavage and it’s very overdone. The film was simply trying to copy the style from back in the day, but it’s still excessive and just not done in a classy way. The film could have easily used the same style of clothes without making it a different size. It’s a rare negative for live action films, but that just makes this error all the worse. I actually thought this since the trailer for the film first came out and I was sad to see that the film hadn’t changed.

Cinderella’s fairy god mother also didn’t look too good in this film either. For whatever reason (For comedy) she did not know what she was doing and came off as more of a novice than she should have. The original Fairy God Mother is fun because she’s a pro and with enough prep time, she can take down any foe. This one nearly destroyed herself by making a pumpkin too large and her scenes actually managed to drag on quite a bit. This is why changing things from the source material backfires so often. It’s simply not done most of the time and the film needs to recognize and accept this before moving on.

Due to the film taking place back in the olden days, there isn’t a whole lot of colorful scenery to look at. That’s too bad and while it’s not terrible, you could easily pass this film off as a 2005 film rather than 2015 and that’s always a bad thing in my book. Seriously, a 2015 film should look modern and this film already feels dated in some areas.

Overall, Cinderella’s plot simply isn’t for me so a future film will need to really change things up in order to win for me. For starters, Cinderella should be a nice lead, but she shouldn’t just let herself get bullied the whole time. Honestly, writing out the step sisters and all of their cringe worthy dialogue would be a nice step up for the film. They simply aren’t needed and just keeping the step mom around would keep the plot virtually the same. That, or just having one step sister. The film does try to have its comedy moments at times, but they’re pretty uninspired. This film may try to take you for a ride, but sometimes the best thing to do is to simply step off. If you’re looking for a good romance drama, I recommend watching Yugioh Bonds Beyond Time and just remember that a drama without romance can still be a very good film!

Overall 4/10