Tag Archives: Thriller

The Jet Black Hedgehog: Shadow the Hedgehog Review

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The year of Shadow was really a hype moment in the world of multi media franchises. We got to get a Shadow game, movie, and a whole lot of appearances everywhere. It was a great time to be a Shadow fan and now it’s time to finally look at the manga that went on briefly. It roughly adapts the Shadow Generations story albeit with a few changes and even a new original character. Not sure why they changed it at all since the changes feel so minor but I suppose you don’t really need a reason to change things up and have fun right? It’s a quick and easy read with only 6 chapters.

The manga starts with showing us the good ole days of Shadow stopping the BioLizard and even getting to hang out with Maria. Those were back when he could show off a lot of emotion and had a really good time. Ultimately it wouldn’t last as Maria died tragically and Shadow lands in a weird void world. A little bat shows up saying that he can save Maria but Shadow needs to get all of the dark orbs to achieve his true power. Shadow is willing to go through all of the hardships in order to make this happen but if the bat is lying to him….there will be a whole lot of trouble coming soon.

The art is a little on the basic side but it’s not bad. I would have liked a more intense style which fits in with the serious story they are going for here but this one is easy to read which makes sense since the magazine is still for a younger audience. In a way that’s part of what makes it all very easy to read through because the panels are very big and the pacing is fast. Shadow basically takes down a boss in each chapter and keeps it moving. The final boss with Black Doom gets a good amount of screentime although in this version it’s pretty clear from the start that Shadow is a lot more powerful. As soon as he is able to fight seriously it is all over.

There is no big Sonic guest star appearance here so I suppose they couldn’t squeeze that in. It would have definitely been really good to have though. I suppose this way it is really 100% Shadow’s story with no real distractions or separations. The decision to basically have Shadow go from losing Maria to the Shadow Gens story without any of the Sonic games from the middle was an interesting choice. At least in terms of memories that was Shadow’s trajectory here. I would say I ultimately prefer the main story’s version of events but this way wasn’t bad. Having an alternate path is nice to experience the story from different angles.

There did have to be some big cuts though and sadly Metal Sonic is one of them as he basically just gets one page. Ah well at least he gets one page which is good. Him not appearing at all would have definitely been rough. Throughout the story Shadow does know that this whole thing is a longshot but he continues to try anyway because saving Maria is really important to him. Their bond of friendship is always one of the strongest ones in the Sonicverse. Ultimately Maria had to go through a lot in every timeline but she always stands strong and never gives in to the darkness. She does well in helping Shadow resist as well.

Shadow is in a tough spot throughout because he knows that every orb he absorbs brings him closer to losing control and yet he has to keep on absorbing them in order to even have a chance at saving Maria. So he gets closer and closer to the abyss the whole time all while knowing it’s a dangerous plan. At the end of the day that’s why he’s the Ultimate Life Form though. He can handle a whole lot more than the other characters could even dream of.

This has always been true throughout the Sonic mythos. Sonic and friends have their share of hardships and strife but at the end of the day still tend to have a lot of fun. Shadow is constantly dealing with the biggest threats around and also the eternal grief of losing Maria. It’s why there were a whole lot of memes around this period about how the Sonic Generations story was so happy and colorful the whole time while Shadow Generations was ultra serious business.

This manga did allow Shadow to express himself more though which I really appreciated. Starting off the manga with the Shadow from the past was a good idea for that reason. He really used to have a whole lot of fun until tragedy struck and he simply couldn’t anymore. If not for that then I’m sure that even now he would be having more fun. It could make for a nice AU story someday although the current Shadow is the character who rose to being the greatest in the franchise so it’s not like you’re topping that anytime soon.

There’s not a whole lot more to say about this one because in large part it is a very direct story. There aren’t a lot of twists and turns here and it’s pretty clear where the story is going to go from the start. Black Doom probably could have looked a bit stronger though, maybe one more chapter would have been ideal. Still, the series had to balance a whole lot of fights and action into 6 chapters so I can definitely cut it a ton of slack here. It’s all pretty reasonable but of course that also shows why we need a full Shadow ongoing manga.


Overall, Shadow makes for a good character so it’s not surprising that his manga would be really good. It’s very short but still makes for a compelling read. By the end of it you will definitely want to go ahead and buy the video game to get the full experience here since they couldn’t quite fit everything into this one. It is a great side product though and also works as a substitution if you don’t own the game consoles to play it on or something like that. In a way that’s the biggest part of being a multi media franchise after all. This way you have different ways to experience the story for everyone.

Overall 7/10

Teenagers from Outer Space Review

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It’s time for a film about an alien invasion and it’s definitely treated as a fairly casual affair. Humanity was absolutely not ready for these alien invaders, not that they usually are. It’s a movie that has aged well and provides good entertainment the whole time. The pacing is not bad and we largely avoid the big romance thanks to the film’s ending. All in all I don’t have many issues with this film as it turned up when it counted.

The movie starts with a few aliens landing on the planet Earth. They all look like humans but they are certainly not the same species. The most ruthless member of the group is Thor who wants to use this planet as a breeding ground for their giant monsters. Derek protests as soon as he sees that there are intelligent life on the planet and so he runs into town to warn people. Thor lets him escape only because it turns out that Derek is the son of their high leader. So they need to take him alive. Will Derek be able to spread the message with the planet or is he already too late?

The tough part for Derek here is the fact that he doesn’t really know anything about the planet. So he’s having to learn a whole lot of things on the fly. He meets a girl named Betty and her kind Grandpa but it’s hard to convince them of the urgency of his mission. This changes when Thor shows up and begins blasting. His disintegration ray can destroy anything that it hits. Derek will have to find a way to disarm him and fast before the whole town is obliterated.

The death count in this film can be surprisingly large at times. There are a whole lot of deaths left and right here Thor basically gets to do whatever he wants to the place. It takes a long time to bring him down and even then the heroes fumble the bag by not taking his weapon or anything like that. Thor lasts way longer than he should because the heroes insist on using kid gloves with him. This is a matter of life or death, you really need to take him out. At one point he is totally unconscious after being shot a few times and nobody capitalizes on this. Very sloppy behavior without a doubt.

Thor does make for a decent villain the whole time though. He’s very confident in himself and is always pressing forward. The guy comes off as being insane right from the jump so you’re not sure how he got such a high ranking position but the possibilities around it are so endless that there isn’t much point in really pondering it. That’s just how this alien group goes. The climax of the film gets quite explosive and definitely doesn’t leave many loose ends for a sequel. Unfortunately this also means that the giant monster himself doesn’t get to appear or do much at all throughout the film. I was looking forward to seeing more of him since the design was really hype. It had a lot of potential but ultimately the budget just wasn’t there to support the film and that is really a shame. Having a giant monster stepping on all of the buildings would have definitely raised the danger level by quite a bit.

We at least know that it was pretty strong though. If not for the pesky disintegrator ray then it might have really had a shot. I regret to inform you that a dog does die in the film though. Early on the villains use the ray on the dog Sparky which was definitely a big mistake. Fortunately the whole scene is pretty fast and you instantly turn to bones which is better than most methods of death. Still unfortunately but that’s the reason why the film didn’t immediately get a negative score or anything like that. It could have definitely been curtains otherwise.

I have to give Betty’s grandpa some respect in this film as well. At first I figured he wouldn’t be doing much of anything here as the guy was really showing his age but in the end he stayed strong. He wouldn’t say where Betty and the others were even under threat of death. He kept on riding around with the crew the whole time and never gave up. That’s the kind of determination you like to see here. He had a lot of energy and in general all of the townsfolk were pretty good. None of them were just going to turn tail and run or give up without a fight. This is the true meaning of unity.

As expected the writing is pretty good here. The script is solid and the pacing is really good. The movie never drags on and you can feel the danger lurking around every corner. At most the only weak part would be when Derek first arrives in town and doesn’t know that the other aliens stuck around. So he doesn’t have a lot of urgency as he rents a room and puts of telling Betty about the dog. The film also narrowly avoided the love triangle since it was looking dicey with Betty and the reporter plus Derek for a while there. That could have docked some points but the characters made the logical move here this time by focusing on the end of the world threat and not getting side tracked. That was a welcome surprise.

Now this is a very old film so even as an alien invasion film you should not be thinking about this in terms of a lot of explosions or anything like that. This is a slow burner through and through and you can almost think of it like a slasher aimed at kids. You have the seemingly invincible villain who slowly approaches each town goer as he obliterates them from existence. He takes no hostages and has absolutely no mercy. The guy just keeps on going and going with no plans to stop. It’s the part of the film that leaves you feeling a bit sad because none of those characters expected that they would die today.

Overall, Teenagers from Outer Space may be very different than what you would have expected based on the title but it’s a pretty good film. I wouldn’t say it has any obvious weaknesses at all. I had a good time with it and the film even has a decent sense of humor at times. If you like these retro films then I would say to definitely check this one out. It’s really got every classic B creature element in here along with the creature itself even if that’s more of an afterthought.

Overall 7/10

Mile 22 Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Mile 22 brings in another big war time thriller as the heroes duke it out with the villains. It’s one of those films that does decide to do this through an interview lens as one character talks about what happens and keeps on spoiling different parts of the film. Definitely a bad decision but if you can get past that then the rest of the film is pretty good. I did like the cliffhanger so a sequel would be fun but I can see how the ending might be divisive.

The film introduces us to Silva who is a very good special agent captain but one who is also very emotional. The different characters debate what is wrong with him mentally or if he’s just a jerk but Silva is definitely very prone to going on large tirades about pretty much everything. He gets very emotional and explosive at all times so you can’t really predict what he will do next. You could say that he is the ultimate wild card. Well this latest mission involves a guy named Noor who has defected from his country and has intel on weapons of mass destruction. He requests a trip to America for his cooperation and the heroes don’t have much time since he has set his files to self destruct pretty soon. Silva agrees to help but he’ll have to keep an eye on this guy.

While the film’s title and poster is all about the 22 Mile drive, that doesn’t happen until very deep into the film. It felt like over half of the movie was really set up for this as we are introduced to the characters and the stakes. Setup is definitely good but this film does push it a bit as you’re waiting for the adventure. Silva’s group are all stars who can handle any mission but naturally you can probably expect some of them to get taken down in short order here. At the end of the day even top rate skills will buckle before superior numbers.

As always there are a number of moles and security breaks throughout the agency so Silva can’t trust too many people. They are also in enemy territory the whole time as the whole point is that Silva’s team is trying to get this guy to America. Until they reach those borders, they’re going to have to deal with an army of corrupt cops and agents trying to shoot them all. The villains aren’t exactly subtle either as they say to Silva’s face how they intend to handle this. Silva just has to try and destroy them all in return or it’ll be all over for him.

As the main character he is definitely fun. Silva’s the kind of guy you want on your side because yes he’s a super loud jerk who is constantly yelling but that means your opponent’s are in for a tough time. There’s even a saying about that how every team should have at least one jerk on it. The idea is to at the very least have someone who is really confident and not afraid to get in the other guy’s face. Silva is definitely comfortable in that role and it’s a good thing too since his teammates can also have their own issues.

Kerr for example is going through a messy divorce and has not been able to concentrate as much as usual because of this. She is constantly yelling and swearing as things don’t go her way. Additionally this line of work does result in not being home very often which certainly doesn’t help on the court side. The app she has to use as part of the package was pretty interesting though, I could see that being really useful for a lot of situations since at least every message is being tracked. No funny business happening off camera as long as the app is around and the fact that it logs each swear word is impressive.

Kerr probably should be able to control herself better while on the mission though. She bears some responsibility for not noticing the two intruders messing with the hostage. Finally Noor is the third member of the main characters. He’s the informant who is making a whole lot of demands and the guy is in control the whole time. I figured his meditation was a way of keeping track of the code for a while there but in the end that was a bit of a red herring. Noor gets a whole lot of character development as the film goes on and really excels in his role. He is neck and neck with Silva in terms of being the most interesting character.

He also does get a really intense fight scene when he has to face off against two fighters at once. It showed that his fighting skills were the real deal as any other character in this film would have likely been destroyed rather quickly. He definitely knows that he can’t trust the security of the USA by the end of that scene. Additionally this all star squad is completely off the books so at any point he could be destroyed. If they are too late to get to the plane and the data is deleted, well they’ll end up shooting him anyway. So there are a lot of ways that Noor could die and he has to be prepared for all of them.

The overall tone of the film varies from being your classic action fare to being a little more on the darker side. The ending itself is definitely really intense and for my two cents I would say I thought it was a good ending. It was really unexpected and happened quickly without dragging the reveal for too long. You come to the conclusions that the main cast come to at about the same time. I do think it does once again show how the heroes are super lax and unprepared with their procedures though. Procedures exist for safety and consistency so the instant you start going away from them you really start to open the door to a lot of problems.

Overall, Mile 22 is a good film. It balances a whole lot of different plots going on at the same time pretty well. The pacing and writing are on point so you’re engaged with the story throughout. The ending was definitely a bold choice and I definitely respect the decision there. A sequel would certainly come in handy to see how things go from here. I would hope that this time there is no narration from the future though. This is a very intense film without a whole lot of happy moments so you do need to enjoy the overall war vibes. I thought it was handled better than most and didn’t get quite as extreme as competitor titles. That said, you would want to avoid this film if you don’t like this level of violence. Neither side is really in a position to take hostages due to the situation.

Overall 6/10

Shooter Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Shooter is one of those tragic films because it could have been good but then it decides to absolutely nosedive by throwing in some extra grit and over the top dark themes for no reason. It could have been known as a fairly decent revenge film about destroying everybody but instead this one will quickly fade away into being forgotten. Just a lot of missed potential here.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Swagger who used to work with the army but after they left him and his partner for dead, Swagger decided to tap out. With his friend dead, Swagger was all by himself except for his pet dog. He stayed off the grid for years but now the government has caught up to him. Isaac wants Swagger to help out in preventing a presidential assassination but this quickly goes sour as expected and now Swagger is wanted for murder. He’s tired of being thrown around by the government, it’s time for Swagger to do something about this.

So you’ve got a classic revenge story against corruption here. It’s a pretty classic story and one where it is easy to root for the hero over the evil government. That said, the film feels the need to make the villains as evil as possible to jam the message through and it’s really not necessary. For example they murder Swagger’s dog. Really now? That was completely unnecessary. Then at one point it turns out that one of the villains is really just here for his own pleasure and has his way with the heroine while Swagger is gone. Another absolutely ridiculous scene that didn’t need to be here at all.

This is the kind of film where the writers just weren’t confident in their own plot/script and so they have to add all of these quick shock value moments. You’re not able to enjoy the film naturally and each scene is instead pushing you hard into the next one. No need to think about anything as the movie is as black and white as possible. One of the scenes near the end as Swagger explains his evidence is one I’ve seen before as it’s a pretty common out of context clip for Youtube shorts. It’s yet another moment that is meant to show you how logic just won’t work because everybody is as corrupt as possible.

The movie definitely has a very jaded view of the justice system. Fair enough, it’s definitely got numerous weaknesses and shortcomings. If the film wants to go the vigilante angle then that’s fine but again it would be nice if the film could just let us watch the action unfold without having to basically narrate it. The villains are all loud and obnoxious as they laugh about how they have dominated the system. They don’t seem to be concerned about any bugs or wiretaps because everybody important is already in on it. They’re just having a grand ole time.

I think for that reason Swagger made a huge mistake near the end and just happens to get lucky. He basically lets some of the key villains go so he could do this through the legal process but naturally that doesn’t play out very well. By this point you’ve already murdered all of the foot soldiers so why wouldn’t you finish off the general? It never makes sense to spare the captains at that point. Particularly since they have the riches and the resources to completely disappear if that’s what they want to do.

Swagger definitely lets his guard down at times but ultimately he looks good for most of the film. His sniper skills are definitely on point and he can really hit a target from almost anywhere. That’s definitely a scary opponent to have to contend with because you’re going to have to find a way to close the distance without getting shot. I’d ask why the army would leave such a capable soldier out to die like in the opening but again it comes down to basic corruption.

Nick ends up helping out from the FBI side. The guy is a little slow on the uptake about how nobody else really cares about the mission though. He gets lied to almost immediately by everyone else in the agency. They’re all either on the take or just generally incompetent. It’s easy to see why he decided to break away from them as soon as possible by the end. Of course you get the feeling that he might be doomed in either event because the villains won’t let him live forever. His only hope will be to hitch a ride with Swagger.

Then we have the heroine Sarah who definitely goes through a lot. The whole film is definitely a terrible experience for her. She does a good job of being helpful and going undercover. My only issue is really with the romance plot. You can’t just get together with your dead husband’s partner. That seems like a terrible idea even aside from the fact that it’s a rebound. The whole thing would just be too personal and it’s also way too sudden. They barely even know each other and so the film suffers from the really quick paced romance here. It doesn’t really have any kind of development and just happens.

As far as conspiracy films go, this one requires a few more stretches of disbelief than some of the others. A certain degree of that will basically always come with the genre but at the same time they just seemed so sloppy in this one. The fact that an FBI rookie noticed that things didn’t add up shows how little thought was put into it. Producing answers too quickly, etc. It may have fooled his boss but it was clear that she didn’t really care about the case in general. She had me convinced that she was on the take the whole time for that reason. How else would she make the worst excuses each time? At one point when Nick points out that a key player was just shot, she says it was probably just karma. That’s just crazy.

Still, conspiracies are fun. Even in real life I’m sure that some of the ones that occurred had a bunch of loose ends and people just looked the other way. That’s bound to happen from time to time but when you’re actually seeing it you can’t help but roll your eyes a bit. If the film had stuck to the action then I think it would have been a lot better. I also liked seeing some of the frame technology. For example to make it look like one guy shot himself they had a clever device that holds the arm up at just the right angle. I’m sure they’ve got something like that in real life.

Overall, The Shooter is a pretty bad film I gotta say. The plot had some potential in there but threw it all away in the second half. I won’t blame the main character for getting tricked since it was a calculated risk but he definitely makes some terrible judgment calls. Even romance aside, I still think the plan he had on top of the mountain was absolutely terrible. Letting villains go in the hopes that you can get them later is really a recipe for disaster. At least the film has a pretty fun ending. That part at least leaves you satisfied in the end.

Overall 3/10

Nobody Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Eh the movie poster is cooler since there are many more fists but this cover’s not so bad either. The film sort of betrays its own concept almost immediately as this “Nobody” is naturally a big Somebody. I like the idea a bit more of having an average family man have to contend with a big revenge flick but this one’s still okay. It taps into that John Wick kind of energy with the legendary fighter having to come out of retirement. The film does have to survive an extremely rocky start though.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Hutch who has been living a very repetitive life for a while now. Every day is basically the same as he lives it over and over and over again. There is little variety to be found at all and it’s just not very fulfilling. Well one day his home is invaded by two thieves and he doesn’t fight back or do much of anything so now everybody is making fun of him and his family has lost confidence in him. Hutch doesn’t seem to be the provider they thought he was. Hutch only gets serious when he finds out that they stole his daughter’s bracelet. Now it’s time for him to unleash his skills!

Now the film quickly tries to defend why Hutch didn’t do much in the opening scene. He noticed that the gun wasn’t loaded and didn’t want to escalate the situation. The problem is that this was still the wrong move by a longshot. These two are still unknown criminals who are breaking and entering. Additionally they are using blunt objects in order to cause a lot of damage. Just letting them get away with the money is terrible and even more so when his son stood up to defend the house and Hutch didn’t help at all.

No amount of explanations or hindsight was going to be enough to save Hutch here. He needed to defend his family, at the end of the day that is absolutely critical and he failed when it counted. The instant someone breaks into your house all bets are off and lethal force is absolutely authorized. Any time you hold back there you are putting the whole family at risk. This whole scene is important too because later on we see how Hutch is actually an expert fighter who can take out dozens of enemies. Dispatching the two intruders without seriously injuring them would have been another easy outcome for him.

So when all of the characters are poking fun at Hutch the whole time it’s hard to feel too bad for him. Obviously it’s not cool to be too unrelenting about the situation but trying to get Hutch to understand how he made a mistake was important. His brother in law even gives Hutch a gun which is a pretty sensible thing to do given the circumstances. The second half of the movie basically does become an unrelenting John Wick film as Hutch goes after everybody.

He ends up tangling with the mafia and so he begins to dispatch those guys as well. Now Hutch isn’t Superman or anything like that so he’s not invincible. The film does show that he needs help from an old friend and his father to actually come out of this alive. It was good to have that in there for a touch of realism especially since Hutch has been out of the game for so long. Now unfortunately the film does spoil the adventure by having an opening scene work as a time jump which is still one of the worst tropes. Ah well, I suppose the film had to fumble a little bit there.

The movie can be rather violent with some of the kills. The fight scenes themselves tend to not be too over the top but the finishing moves can be like Mortal Kombat. Hutch really tries to make an example of why you shouldn’t stand against him and the main villain has the same idea at a gala event. Both sides are no strangers to violence and to an extent you can even say they encourage it like when Hutch basically dares the villains to keep on fighting him.

In some ways I would say this film is really going through the action thriller motions. It’s not a film that you’re likely going to remember very well by the end of it. It’s a good movie but the story is one that we’ve all seen before. Even down to the origin story which plays itself beat for beat as many ex professional type films. I enjoyed the banter with Hutch and his allies even if that too is familiar. Sometimes you just want a solid action film that puts the fighting before the story itself. I would say this film definitely does that.

The villain is mainly forgettable. He’s your average gangster who knows how to fight but finds himself in a leadership role now. He’s not particularly patient with his minions and the guy is incredibly unstable. If you work for him then you may end up dying just on a whim. When the going gets tough, he does fight but doesn’t last all that long. That’s basically his whole character in a nutshell. I was more interested in what the cops were going to say about all of this although naturally they don’t get a ton to do. I imagine in the sequel we’ll see more out of them and the 3 letter agencies as they decide to take Hutch down just to be on the safe side.

Overall, Nobody is a decent movie but I don’t think it has the highest replay value. It takes a bit long for Hutch to finally go into action. The violence can be a bit try hard at times too. The film is really advertised as a big action title though so there were definitely no lies presented here. What you see is what you get and I would definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a solid action fix. I get the feeling that the sequel would be better though as here is a lot for the film to capitalize on here.

Overall 5/10

The Thomas Crown Affair (1999) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Whenever you’ve got a film with the word affair in the title then you know that you might be in trouble. Naturally the word doesn’t have to inherently be bad but it’s usually used in a negative context. The film is basically about someone trying to pull a James Bond and just the concept of that plan is usually funny to me. Still, it does actually work in the real world even so I can’t really talk much about that. Ultimately the film lacks the good characters to make this a success and the romance is particularly weak.

The film starts off with a rare painting being stolen from Thomas Crown’s museum. It was worth tons and the insurance company might have to pay for it. As a result they send in a lady named Catherine to oversee the whole thing. She will make sure that the company does not get ripped off here and she will locate the painting. She believes that Thomas did it himself. It seems a bit unlikely to the cops to put it mildly but she is convinced. So her plan will be to seduce him and then get the information. Will she really be able to reel in a rich guy who has everything so easily?

The first part of the plot that already starts you off on a skeptical note is Catherine’s idea that she can just seduce this guy like it’s easy. I have the same skepticism for many romance type titles and naturally the James Bond films as well. Sure there are some people that are extremely shallow like that but a super rich guy with unlimited options? At least have her break him down after several months or something but he immediately takes the bait hook line and sinker. Now you could argue that it’s just because he wants the thrills of a cat and mouse game but to me it seems like he liked her right away with how sharp her personality is.

Then the rest of the film continues the cat and mouse game while they mess with each other the whole time. There’s a subplot where Thomas has a psychiatrist who confirms how he can’t trust women and all that. Well the film seems to confirm his suspicions as Catherine tries to mess him over several times. If anything the movie seems to make the case for Thomas on why he can’t trust anyone too much. The instant Catherine feels betrayed she tries to completely ruin his life by exposing his theft.

I mean…that was her job the whole time but it’s clear by the end that it’s super personal now. She refuses to listen to him at all and just goes back to her own thing. Then by the end when the misunderstanding it cleared up she is desperate to be with him again. Catherine jus seems incredibly unstable and I don’t see things going well for the two of them. The original film had the much more satisfying ending as a result and I couldn’t stand by this one. The reason is because I wasn’t a big fan of the romance in general despite how much the film tried to present it as a decent one.

I do like the whole enemies to lovers trope when handled right but this one didn’t convince me. As much as I was going on about Catherine not being the most reliable or trust worthy, the same is true for Thomas of course. The whole film is happening because he was bored and wanted a thrill after all. You better hope he doesn’t get bored of romance either since he seemed like a real player back in his day. That is definitely one of the big downsides of being super rich. It’s a bit of a meme as everybody would usually like to be rich anyway but I can see how life can get dull if you don’t find anything to give you purpose.

Also to make the romance even worse, we have the head cop in charge of the case, Michael. This guy is absolutely desperate for Catherine from his very first scene and it’s obvious that she is not into him at all. She gives him a pity kiss later but I wish the guy had been a little bolder and just created some distance after the first attempts failed. Lets keep this professional right? This film is the definition of unprofessional as nobody was able to really keep to the job but it’s probably the worst for Michael. Catherine at least had the excuse of this being part of her plan and Thomas was using this as a way to gauge Catherine but Michael should have at least been objective.

Now in terms of the heist itself, it does stretch your disbelief at times. I find it hard to believe that nobody noticed the CEO sliding under the door to steal the painting early on. The film’s excuse for this would be how crowded things were and to an extent I get that but it’s still a bit of a stretch. Likewise when the painting was returned later on. The ole switcheroo was pretty clever though and I didn’t really have any problems with that one. I did enjoy all the “magic” and planning even if the resources and time to pull that off are also tricky. Thomas obviously has the money but finding enough people willing to take a fall and potential jail time? With enough money you can pretty much do anything but you can also count on at least one guy to get cold feet and go to the cops.

I’m not really an artistic person myself so I always wonder how paintings can really go for millions of dollars. I’d sooner buy into the conspiracy that the whole art market is just a front for money laundering than actually thinking someone would value the piece so highly. Talent is talent and some people are truly gifted at it but millions for any piece of art seems absolutely crazy. I’m also not particularly entertained by walking around a museum to look at paintings. That seems like the kind of thing you would endure for good company.

So the main appeal of the movie is about the heist and the cat and mouse games. That is when the movie is at its best but the rough romance really holds it back. There’s just no way this will work out and the romance is more of a show over tell kind of experience. So not only was I not convinced but the movie spends a lot of time on the romance only for me to still be shaking my head the whole time.

Overall, I would still skip on this film. It’s an improvement over the first film but it’s still not a winner yet. At this point I think we need a live action version of Sly Cooper. That’s a film with a similar premise but 1000x cooler. You will still have the cat and mouse banter with the detective trying to catch the thief but it’s played in a much more interesting way. Until that movie comes out, I recommend playing through the games and you will quickly see why the Thomas Crown affair can’t quite compete.

Overall 4/10

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes Review

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As someone who does not like tomatoes I can confirm that one of my greatest fears would definitely be having to go toe to toe with one of them. If these guys bite as strongly as they taste then it would be all over for me. The film does a good job of poking fun at the concept while also getting in some terrifying moments. I would definitely recommend this one.

The film starts off with a lady getting murdered by a tomato. When the cops show up to check out the damage, one of them immediately notices that the “blood” is actually tomato juice. After this point the tomatoes launch an all out assault against humanity. Their numbers are considerable and for the most part the humans are powerless against them. They even have cherry tomatoes on their side. Will the humans be able to mount a proper counter offensive or is it game over for them?

This movie effectively takes shots at a whole lot of different story beats and groups. For starters the government doesn’t look very good here as their so called experts are completely out of their depth the whole time. They have absolutely no idea what they are doing and this only gets more and more evident as the film goes on. Their meeting rooms simply aren’t big enough for them and even their best agents trip up when the going gets the tough. The master of disguise actually made it pretty far but ultimately even he faltered when it counted. Trust me it was not a proud moment for that guy.

You may even end up rooting for the tomatoes here because of their fun sound effect. It’s really hype whenever they show up. The sound in and of itself isn’t creepy or anything but it’s with the context of knowing that the tomatoes are back. They even toy with the humans like at one point where they surround someone’s car and then calmly roll away. He really got off easy that time and they were effectively giving him a warning. The Tomatoes just took it a little too easily that time. If they had been serious then the film would be over.

Naturally the special effects for the film aren’t particularly good. There are a lot of cutaways so we don’t really get to see much of anything. The tomatoes themselves are just ordinary tomatoes for 90% of the screentime. I would have liked to have seen them grinning and running around more but the film didn’t really have the budget for that. The overt cheapness of the film is part of what makes it all fun though. This film is a parody that is really being as silly as possible.

Now of course in any film with a ton of jokes, there will be a bunch that absolutely don’t land. This film is no exception to that. For example you have Lois who is trying to make a name for herself but her skills aren’t all that great. So she gets desperate enough to consider her boss’ advice which was not good from the start. We also get a last second romance and so those scenes were pretty rough the whole time.

Fortunately the good ones easily overshadowed those. For example we also had Clark Kent show up as well as a good Superman gag at one point which was really good. We got the classic “up up and away” moment which was really inspired. There was also a kid and his dog although they didn’t do so well in the fight. The film had plenty of good references and little moments here and there that enhanced the movie.

There was also the whole plot regarding the white house’s chief of communications. The guy gets embarrassed early on during the Q&A and then we actually get some repercussions from that later on. His plan had been unfolding for a while but I’m sure this helped speed it up. The betrayal was really good. The scene had a lot of tension to it and good development. I was almost more invested in this plot than the tomatoes for a minute there.

The movie is fairly short but even then you enjoyment here will be based on how much you enjoy the main gag of the Tomatoes. Will you find it to be too silly or just the right amount of fun and exciting? Everything hinges on that because at the end of the day this is not a serious thriller or anything like that. Technically the body count is rather high and by the end a ton of people are dead but it’s not like the tone is going to reflect that. This is meant to be a really happy film all the way around and it succeeds on that angle.

I tend to enjoy some quality silly humor so this is up my alley. There was even a quick song by the corporate guy helping on PR which was out of nowhere but pretty intense. The singing voice wasn’t half bad and the lyrics are of course the main highlight. This guy showed that you can be great at business and still find time to sing a quick tune. So the quality song helps to make up for a lack of a big soundtrack, although it’s not like I would have expected a grand soundtrack for this film anyway.

Now lets imagine that the film was played seriously for a moment. I think the way you would do it is that the tomatoes move at high speeds. They would keep slamming into people and the sheer concussive force would knock them out. Maybe the main character is a cook so he is able to slice them apart when they show up. You could still have an end of the world plot with ease but the question is how many audiences would take it seriously anyway. And if you know that they wouldn’t, well that’s why you do the parody instead.

Overall, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is a film that I’ve looked forward to for a long while now and I can definitely say that it lived up to the hype. This is a fun film with an original story. It has a large variety of gags so you are bound to like some of them. From there is just depends on how many you did not like. If it’s a small number then we have a winner. I’ll be curious to see how good the sequels are but it will be hard to beat the original. It’s one of those premises that you probably don’t want to overdo. It’s why I really liked the stinger at the end which showed off the new villains coming up. That has a ton of potential right there.

Overall 7/10

Ransom (1996) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

All right it’s thriller time! Whenever someone is taken for ransom you have to decide if you will pay it or not. This is a pretty big dilemma and everyone will have different answers here. I tend to agree with this film’s position on not paying the ransom. If you pay once then they will just do it again or in the worst case they don’t intend on returning the person anyway. You’re taking some considerable risks here. No matter what you pick, the important thing is to never look back.

The film starts with Tom and Kate enjoying a nice day in the park. They are both pretty busy with events and lose sight of the kid. Sean is kidnapped by a bunch of villains and then they send a ransom call. They want millions of dollars from Tom or the kid will die. Tom is a super mega millionaire so he’s fine with paying the money at first but then gets the idea that paying the money will effectively be a death sentence for Sean. So he decides not to pay but now everybody has turned against him and thinks that this is the wrong decision. Has he just made a grave error or is he doing the right thing?

As with all kidnapping films, there is more than a little suspense for disbelief here. In a place as super crowded as what we saw in the opening, I find it hard to believe that there would be no witnesses. I do think the parents should have been more careful and I feel the same way in real life when I see kids running around by themselves but I don’t see it being this smooth. Either way that’s how the film gets the story going so lets not get bogged down too much there.

Naturally from the intro you can tell that I agree with Tom here. You can’t pay the ransom and I thought that the movie did a good job of explaining the logic. Tom stays strong no matter how many critics he gets so that was impressive. The film even gives him a fight scene in this version which was cool. I would argue that he mishandled the timing though and got pretty lucky. He should have tackled the villain once he had spotted the guy and in the end he should have finished him because the guy nearly got another shot off. All in all, he did a lot more right than wrong though and was a good lead.

Unfortunately his wife Kate looks pretty bad the whole time. She crashes out on multiple occasions here as she just wants to pay the money. Then when she gets a suspicious letter she ends up going outside by herself and beaten up. She really needed to think things through more. Yes of course she is also doing everything she can for her son and I appreciate that but you can’t succeed on your own. Once Tom made his decision, she needed to stand by him instead of just making the situation worse. Throughout the film she is one of his biggest challenges because she actively eats away at his confidence.

Meanwhile for the villains, they’re all irredeemable and you don’t feel any pity for them. When you get into the business of kidnapping then you deserve everything that comes to you. Jimmy may have been the mastermind but they were all in on it so when they were getting shot you don’t really care about them. As for Jimmy, he was definitely holding his own for quite a while there and ultimately just got greedy. He did make for a fun contrast as we would see him panicking when Tom would get on TV and start with the threats. We got to see just how shaken up he was the whole time.

The police don’t look great here though. Jumping in unprepared ends up leading them to shooting the only witness. It was incredibly sloppy as they couldn’t have handled that worse. Meanwhile the lead officer leaking secrets to try and shake up the marriage was a low blow. He wants the characters to pay the ransom but taking it into his own hands like that was a bit much. Likewise we also see him talking on the phone about how he’s glad that he isn’t rich which feels incredibly inappropriate. Even aside from the fact that someone might hear him, it’s the worst possible time to say that. He really needs to work on his mindset.

Well nobody’s perfect but it does underscore that Tom is really on his own here. If he even thinks to rely on the police then he will be in trouble and naturally that is exactly what you don’t want to hear. It’s already a stressful situation and being on your own makes it even tougher. That’s why it was impressive that Tom stuck to his guns and never looked back. If he had been shaken up and changed courses then things would not have gone well at all.

Overall, Random is a pretty good movie. It should have you on the edge of your seat the whole time. The writing is pretty good and I really enjoy the premise. It makes for a fun game of cat and mouse. It also allows Tom to actually tough talk to the villains for once rather than the usual setup where the villain just smack talks and gloats for 2 hours. This time the hero gets to take the offensive which is really refreshing. It makes the film a little more fun without sacrificing the atmosphere. At the end of the day the story itself is simple enough but the film is able to craft a really interesting movie out of it by executing well on every aspect. The film has no real weaknesses to speak of here which is impressive and not so easily done. You can trip up in a lot of ways for a thriller like this. So I would definitely recommend checking the movie out.

Overall 7/10

Scarface (1983) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those iconic gangster films. In a lot of ways it tackles the classic rise to infamy type of story but takes its time with it. The film boasts a very impressive runtime of nearly 3 hours but as a result it can move rather slowly at times. I would also argue that Tony himself looks far less impressive in this version as he falls to the vices faster. Perhaps it is good in terms of not letting people accidentally look up to him but in the film’s context it does mean that he is considerably weaker than the original.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Tony and Manny who slip into the USA. They’re going to be starting out as bottom barrel thugs but Tony has dreams of rising up to the very top. He continues taking more and more risky jobs as he moves up the ranks. His ambition knows no bounds, the guy wants to own everything. He also falls for the wife of his boss. If he’s told no about anything then Tony wants it, that’s the way he lives and how he plans to move until his death.

Obviously this does mean that this is one of those films where you are rooting for the cops to take him down. Tony is a villain through and through. He has some moral scruples compared to other gang members but the guy is still a mass murderer who does whatever he feels like. He gets addicted to drugs to the point where he can barely focus on anything. So he becomes someone whose personality flips on a dime. He’ll blow up out of nowhere and this makes him a very dangerous leader.

It’s a bad mix when you’re in a sudden death career like being a mobster while also being completely addicted to drugs. He’s basically taken in by all of the bad vices and is too far gone to ever go back. Meanwhile there is a subplot where he doesn’t want his siter to go down this path so he gets very demanding in terms of what she can or cannot do. He seems to want her to be alone for her whole life and to just stay indoors. It’s not a particularly reasonable position and so she makes things go pretty badly for him as well although I would have liked her to have finished him off. Instead she just completely cracks in this version which isn’t satisfying in the slightest.

Tony goes around betraying everyone all the time so he doesn’t have many loyal allies by the end. There’s his best friend but then Tony gets upset because of his sister being involved so that’s it for that. Again Tony is really burying himself at this point. Even his obsession with Elvira shows how bad Tony is at making the right decisions. Why would you ever want to get together with a girl who flat out does not like you? She only likes the money and status which isn’t a good idea for a relationship.

This even happens in real life as there are a few people who keep getting passed around in an endless cycle because I guess everyone wants to prove themselves but it seems like a terrible idea. With his influence Tony could have had a whole lot of options but no he wanted the lady who was already married. Elvira may not be a good person in the slightest but I still put most of the burden on Tony here for trying to break up the marriage from the start.

The film has some violent moments to be sure. It doesn’t mind having some blood spray during the gunfights and there is the axe moment. In this case you can count on people being shot in non combat situations as well like the scene where Tony shoots one of the passengers in his car. You probably shouldn’t double cross the leader of a mafia boss like that. Tony said he doesn’t murder kids and so he took steps to enforce this position. It was a good scene for Tony amidst a mountain of bad moments but we’ll take what we can get here.

I feel like the police had a smaller role here than in the original film despite the longer screentime. Yes we’ve got the corrupt cop but we don’t get the perspective of the main police force hunting this guy the whole time. That could have helped this film by giving us some tangible characters to root for. It’s why films based around the villains are always fighting an uphill battle. Unless the villain is super charismatic or has a goal that you can empathize with then you run the risk of the film just being too dreary. This one never really gets past that to make the case on why you should really be invested in the title. Just give me one really likable character and that could change things at least a little but the movie never really does that.

Overall, Scarface may be an iconic film but I wouldn’t say it’s all that good. It does show off the rough life of a gangster and it’s not like you have any real sympathy here because they are all bad apples anyway. This is a life that they completely chose for themselves after all. Now they have to contend with the dark side of their own career. The more that Tony loses, the happier you get as the audience. At the same time, this is just not a happy film. It’s a very serious one that just keeps on going and so when the film isn’t fun that takes a lot of the pop out of it. It’s hard to succeed under such circumstances. I’d recommend just watching the original one instead which handled the material a lot better.

Overall 4/10

Bullet Train Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Bullet Train definitely got a whole lot of marketing and advertising when it was first coming out. It was going to be a totally crazy film filled with lots of assassins and action the whole time. I’m always up for an ensemble film and so this was pretty fun although I do think it could have utilized the ensemble part a little more.

Ladybug is one of those bounty hunter/special agents who takes on different requests for money. I hesitate to call him a straight up assassin like the rest of the people on the train because he’s rarely going after any lives and people just die on accident. Ladybug’s filling in for a sick colleague here. This should be easy, he just has to get on the train, steal a suitcase, and then head back out. Easy peasy. What he doesn’t know is that he has a whole lot of company. One guy is here to murder the person who put his son in the hospital, a pair of assassins was hired by a top mafia boss for another mission, a little girl is here for murder, etc. Everybody has their own motivations but they are all fighting for the kill. Can Ladybug handle them all? On one hand he clearly has more experience than most of these guys but on the other hand he’s not nearly as bloodthirsty. He will have to think carefully here.

So before I mentioned how I didn’t think the ensemble part was handled perfectly and that’s because some of these characters get almost nothing to do. In particularly the poison girl and the knife guy are dispatched rather quickly. We still get backstories for both characters but as a result they just didn’t get to feel important. An easy fix to this I’d say would have been to have had their origins earlier. That way you are waiting for them to appear for most of the film. Even without increasing the sheer amount of screentime, their presence would be felt more.

I would even say to go one step further, it might have been a good idea to have shown everyone’s origins at the start of the film. Then as they all step foot on the train it becomes a true battle royale. You can make an exception for one or two characters who rely on twists but this would have definitely helped. Even so, the film does a good job of juggling quite a few characters and even giving them full personalities. You end up remembering them even well past the film’s runtime which is impressive.

At times the film’s tonal shifts can be a bit much. Sometimes you start to look forward to a big fight and then it doesn’t quite play out. On the other hand, the light tone and humor is part of what makes the film fun. On the whole I would have liked to play the fights more straight but the ones that we do get tend to be pretty good. The film’s light tone also helps to prevent things from getting too dreary which could have easily occurred otherwise.

The movie can be fairly violent but at least most of the scenes are combat related so it doesn’t feel too bad. Enough to be noticeable but not enough where I would dock serious points for it or anything like that. The visuals for the film were really nice though and it made good use of the mascots and colorful backgrounds. The train looked like it would be very comfortable to ride on.

As the main character Ladybug was decent. He definitely messed up by not getting off the train earlier though. It’s a good thing he’s lucky because otherwise the mission made no sense. He was only able to get the suitcase at the start because the two assassins left it alone and totally forgot about it. Usually I’d call that plot hax but the film specifically shows how Ladybug is always super lucky (Although he sees it as bad luck since he doesn’t like to see people getting murdered) so I can overlook that. He gets lucky throughout the film but that’s the point. He does a good job of not letting it get to him though and has a lot of the most enjoyable bits of dialogue here. He does a good job of leading the film.

Lemon was a really fun guy who was a big fan of Thomas the Tank Engine. This was a fun and original gimmick. I know an online account that is always talking about that train so it’s nice to see the franchise being referenced. Lemon may not be the biggest genius in the room but he can read people and that trait continues throughout the film. He gets a bit sloppy at one point but always did a good job of lightening up the atmosphere. His confrontation with Ladybug was really good.

Then we have Tangerine who is the serious member of the duo. He may argue with Lemon a lot but does trust the guy’s judgment when it counts. If he was just a hair trigger faster he could have ended the movie sooner. Ultimately he just wasn’t able to connect with his shot before it was too late. The film did a good job of developing both characters.

Then we have our first miss in The Father. Different characters insult him and it makes sense because he’s just super out of his depth here. The instant the Prince revealed herself as responsible for pushing his son off a building, he should have taken her out. Instead he hesitates and this leads him down a long trail of danger. The guy is a really passive fighter the whole time compared to the other characters and that’s what holds him back. He isn’t even close to the others in terms of skill.

The same can be true of Prince but to make up for this she has a lot of plans and contingencies. I give her a whole lot of credit for always remaining on top of the situation. She manipulates a whole lot of characters before the film is over which is more than I can say for some of the others. The Wolf and the Hornet don’t get to do much and are mainly here to fill out the numbers. This is definitely the part where I said the film could have developed them more. That would have made them way more likable and memorable.

The Elder also doesn’t do a lot but his scenes are very memorable. For starters one of his twists makes a lot of sense and I was wondering why The Father didn’t think of this. The Elder was a really good character and dominated in his short screen time. The White Death is a little more forgettable. A decent villain who perhaps got a little too much hype. Less hype may have gone a long way here since his actions could have spoken for themselves instead.

Overall, Bullet Train is a good film. It does deliver on having a lot of action and the ending is also pretty satisfying. I think the movie could have had a little more confidence in its own fight scenes though. Letting the characters go at it a bit longer would have been nice. I also wouldn’t have minded some more verbal confrontations because those were always a lot of fun with how the characters would try to be normal on the surface. It had a very Sakamoto Days kind of vibe there. If you haven’t watched this film yet then I’d recommend it. It makes for a good watch.

Overall 6/10