Monthly Archives: May 2025

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Review

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It’s time for the weakest Indiana Jones adventure. This one definitely dwells a bit too much on the grosser elements of exploration as the heroes keep finding themselves in spots where the locals eat rather gross food options. Additionally the film definitely does decide to get a little extra edgy like having Jones be forced to take some corrupted blood. The end result is a film that doesn’t quite let Indiana Jones get as much adventuring in as you’d like.

The film starts off with Indiana trying to close out a deal he made with some shady individuals. They betray him but Indiana was ready and betrays them right back. His big mistake was in drinking some poison by mistake so he loses his leverage and barely escapes along with his life. His sidekick Short Round was definitely really helpful here but Jones is less pleased to have a lady named Willie follow along. The 3 of them are now stuck together and before they can go home, Indiana runs into a village where the kids have gone missing. Is it the work of a supernatural entity…or something a little more down to Earth?

Right away I can tell you that the romance in this film is quite abysmal although it’s not like the romance in the Jones films tend to be all that good anywhere. The third film actually gets even worse in that regard. Willie has no reason to like Jones after being tossed in this crazy predicament and she comes off as looking desperate. No worries, the same is true of Jones as well who really can’t ever seem to keep his mind on the adventure at hand. Perhaps that is why he tends to lose several times in every movie? He is constantly being outmaneuvered and manipulated by all of the other characters at every turn. He has to get lucky constantly in order to survive.

I’ll give him credit for doing his best to save the kids and help things end all right but as a character he can definitely be really annoying. In this film he is really outshined by his sidekick most of the time. Shorty saves Jones on multiple occasions and really does a lot better than I would have expected out of any kid. Usually the kids tend to be panicking or getting in the way but not this guy. He stepped up as needed and took a lot of risks. While I still tend to avoid having kids in film, this one wasn’t bad at least. He was probably even the MVP here.

Willie never really gets better even outside of the romance plot to be honest. She is constantly panicking and yelling the whole time. She has some valid points like I wouldn’t want to be forced to eat bugs either. Some kind of escape plan would be a good idea but at the end of the day you can’t always escape everything. Sometimes you’ve just got to take a stand but even to the end Willie was allowing herself to just be pushed around and go with the flow. Not the best way to really pave a path for herself.

Like I said at the start, the film definitely leans too hard on all the creepy crawlies. When characters aren’t eating them, they are in rooms covered in them or having to let them crawl all around. Crude humor probably isn’t quite the word for it so I don’t really know which term is right but it’s just overplayed. Meanwhile this is definitely known as a fairly violent Jones film for good reason. The deaths can get intense, then you have the gruesome drinking blood scene and of course Jones being used as a pin cushion.

While the climax gives us a really long action sequence, it actually takes a while to get there. In the leadup to that we have a whole lot of lore as things are being explained to Jones but the film basically takes a timeout. This could have worked better with a fun backdrop but of course it’s all about the bugs and the weak romance so you’re really just itching for the plot to begin again. Anything to get you out of the duller moments.

The villains are also on the very forgettable side. I’d say the villains from the first film were a lot more impressive. These guys are all insane cultists who fit all the primitive tropes well but do little to really impress you. They’re the kind of villains where you probably won’t remember any of their names or even much of their goals within a few weeks. They are obstacles for Jones to defeat and nothing more. I’m waiting for another big rival character like the guy from the first film. That would make for a much better dynamic.

Also by this point there is so much supernatural going on within the world that Jones needs to weaponize it. Clearly voodoo dolls work so using that to tie up his enemies would be intense. Of course first he would need to figure out how it works but this is all a lot easier once you know that supernatural things do exist. Likewise we had spirits in the first film. I know at the time Jones didn’t believe in the supernatural but surely by this point he does. He would be absolutely crazy to not have put the two dots together by now.

Overall, The Temple of Doom wasn’t particularly good. It’s also just a little too long for it to only be okay so there isn’t a lot of replay value here. To watch it again you would need a strong reason to do so. Additionally there is pretty much no screentime of Jones in his professor role which is a shame since I liked the whole dual identity. It feels like the film just sort of lost its way a bit here although it would rebound in time. I needed more fun tomb exploration and solving puzzles like a Tomb Raider game. That’s what I expect from an Indiana Jones adventure at least.

Overall 5/10

Spy X Family Code: White Review

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It’s definitely cool that Spy X Family got a big movie already. Many titles never get a movie or it happens at the very end but at this rate the series can probably squeeze another 1-2 films in before the series is over. It’s a fun adventure with a new setting to have fun in. The fact that it’s a movie also allows us to get a really dynamic fight scene in and Yor hasn’t been this relevant in quite a while. It works as a really solid stand alone adventure.

The film starts off with Loid taking down another villain group but his secret organization is not impressed and still says he will need to be reassigned from his current project. The only way to convince them otherwise is to make some progress really fast. He figures the quickest way to do that is by getting his daughter Anya to win the cooking contest and get the elusive Stella grand prize. Loid knows that the judge loves a certain kind of cake but it is only sold in another town so he plans a big vacation with his wife Yor and Anya to go try it out. This should be a piece of cake.

Meanwhile Yor finished her latest assassin mission and murdered her opponents but the next day she sees Loid seemingly kissing another woman. Her friends happen to be talking about infidelity and tell Yor to watch out for 3 big red flags. Sudden vacations, lots of presents, and new clothing styles. Yor is now on red alert for this big trip to try a cake. Is that the real reason for this trip? While her marriage to Loid may be a ploy, she has started to catch feelings and won’t let this slip away so easily.

Finally Anya is always really hungry and unfortunately she broke into someone’s luggage and ate their chocolate. What is even more unfortunate about this is that inside the chocolate was a tiny microchip containing a lot of important data and so now the government is after her. They need the data and aren’t afraid to murder Anya to get it. As Anya is just a child she doesn’t quite recognize the immense danger that she is in. Has she just doomed them all?

I would say that the 3 plots converge eventually but technically the 3 characters are together for most of the adventure. They just don’t know the specifics of what the other is doing for the most part. It makes for a fun dynamic and everyone gets something to do. It probably goes without saying that Anya has the weakest plot of the 3 though. For starters the whole thing is her fault since she should not have been eating other people’s chocolate. Yes, the eating part was an accident but she still opened the suitcase on her own which was not a good idea. We get a trippy dream sequence about using the bathroom as well which felt like something out of Teen Titans Go. Definitely not what I was expecting here.

Anya definitely means well but you can see why she is still just a kid. She isn’t quite prepared for this situation. I’d have traded in her scenes for Yuri getting to do a bit more. He looked great here as he was immediately ready to go save Yor when he heard that she was in a dangerous place. Yuri was ultimately stopped but it is the thought that counts. He’s the kind of guy you can really count on to help as needed. Maybe he will get more to do in the next film.

Loid looks solid as always. He is always trying to basically do everything on his own and does a good job there. He doesn’t want to make anyone worry after all and he’s trained for things like this. he can always handle himself well in a fight and thinks his next move through carefully. He may not be perfect at reading the other characters but who is right? At the end of the day he continues to get closer to achieving his objective.

Meanwhile Yor does really well here. She did well to take down the two guys attacking Anya near the beginning and her fight within the burning ship was great. The background was really intense and the animation got to shine there. Dealing with someone who is basically not even human anymore is no small feat and this is a fight where even Loid would have been in trouble. She really had to use her athleticism and smarts to take this guy down. Her opponent would probably end up being one of the strongest enemies in the series. It’s also a fight that really benefits from being in a movie where the staff can really show off with the animation.

As a whole the animation is quite solid here. It may not be looking like Dragon Ball or My Hero, but it still shines considering that this isn’t first and foremost an action story. It manages to contain action stories that would make those titles proud. The soundtrack is a bit more forgettable. I was expecting at least one big lyrical song to play during the climax but what we got was still decent. Soundtrack is just something that I think the movie could have worked a whole lot harder on.

Yor getting jealous and insecure may be a bit of a stale plot point already but it’s not like that is the sole focus of the movie. It would have been dicey if that was the case but the movie has a lot going on throughout. Anya aside, the humor tends to be good and the film is very fast paced. Bond gets the shaft here but it’s not like there is much you could have expected him to do here anyway. This is really a mission for the top two fighters in the business and they get the job done. As I said before, it’s an easy film for new watchers to get into as well since the basics of the plot are explained at the very beginning. If you’re up for a fun action/adventure title then you’ve come to the right place.

Overall, This was definitely a pretty good film. It was fun seeing the characters in action again and Yor definitely had the best moments here. Every time there was a fight it was definitely a lot of fun to see. At times the film could maybe be moving a bit slowly and you don’t really care about Anya’s scenes all that much. While the new setting helps make this feel like a film, I would also say it feels more like an extended episode compared to other big films like Demon Slayer and the DBS Broly film. So it may not be nonstop hype all the time but there was definitely enough of it going around where it still ends up being a quality title all the way. It’s a chance to see the characters in a new adventure never before seen in any format and that alone is worth the cost of admission.

Overall 7/10

Raiders of the Lost Ark Review

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It’s time for the original Indiana Jones adventure. It’s definitely been quite a while since I’ve seen this movie. Did it age well or has the film absolutely been devastated by the cruel march of time? Well, I can safely say that the film is pretty solid. It’s actually a fun adventure that may drag on just a tad but there is a lot going on. We get a good amount of fight scenes and chases throughout. I’d actually like to see more of Professor Jones in his day job since I like the idea of an alter ego like a superhero. I mean he doesn’t keep it a secret…but you know what I mean.

The film starts off with Indiana Jones on a big mission but he ends up getting double crossed by his travel guide and then being wrecked by his rival Rene. Rene has historically always gotten the better of Jones and this adventure is no exception. Rene just has too many tools up his arsenal. He’s smart, rich, and always one step ahead of the adventurer. Jones crawls back home where he is then sent on another mission to retrieve the Ark of the Covenant before the Nazi’s. The problem is that the Nazi’s have hired Rene and Jones has never beaten him before. He will need the help of his old friend Rene but she has not forgiven him for the dubious relationship of the past. Can Jones turn on the charm and win her over?

I would say the main adventure gets even worse for Jones because he has a clear step up over Rene since he knows where the key is which will help in getting to it. Unfortunately Jones forgets that Rene always likes to skip the adventure and just steal things at the end. Get ready to see Jones lose a whole lot of fights over and over again but he refuses to give up. Jones is no quitter, he will keep on fighting to the last. It’s why he is a professional. In a way it’s almost impressive how much plot armor the guy has because he should have died many times.

The worst instance is probably when he grabs a rocket and tries to hold everyone hostage. Rene calls his bluff and Jones surrendered. Look, you can’t surrender at this point. There’s no reason why Rene wouldn’t just shoot him there or be overruled by the Nazi’s where Jones would still be shot. You have to just go down with everybody at this point. Every time a hero decides to just throw in the towel I have to shake my head because that’s just a really bad idea. Jones makes a lot of questionable decisions though like leaving Marion in enemy camp where she might be tortured and beaten by the enemies because he doesn’t want them to know that he’s around.

Jones is a guy who really puts the mission first and the film makes that clear. He’s not here to make friends or anything like that. No, he’s here to do what he has to and live the adventurous life. For that reason the romance definitely doesn’t work at all here because there is no way Marion would forgive Jones, let alone get together with him. He showed how little he cared about her throughout the film. Honestly she should have just back stabbed him and ran away. It’s not like she is a great character either. She makes a lot of mistakes and can be annoying but she seems to have had a rather rough upbringing and was in a terrible situation so you can empathize there.

You certainly sympathize more with her than with Indiana Jones. Make no mistake, Jones is a fun character to watch. The film wouldn’t be the same without him but that’s definitely different than being a quality character. Meanwhile the rival Rene was good until the film inevitably made him girl crazy. It’s always a cheap way to suddenly make the villain look weak and give the hero a chance. Why make him so gullible? He was basically willing to throw everything away for a quick fling and that doesn’t make sense from a man who was so determined and strategic.

If he wants romance then he can find that on his downtime. The guy is rich so that should be easy. No, instead he messes around during a mission. Ah well, I’d like to see more of him and his rivalry with Jones in some prequels. There’s probably a whole lot you can do there, maybe even the reluctant team up. Now that would definitely be a fun way to go about things.

Naturally the film does well on the technical aspects. It looks good and the soundtrack is fun. The Jones theme itself has always been well known and it’s fun. Definitely has that heroic feel to it. Meanwhile the backgrounds look good and the fights are on point. They incorporate some nice humor into them as well like when Jones just shoots someone instead of trying to outfight them. The blend of action and humor works really well and that comes down to the writing which is really sharp. The script is good with all of the characters and helps to support the rest of the film.

At times the film can be surprisingly violent with how the characters die. The spinning airplane death and the trap near the beginning of the film definitely come to mind. This is definitely a movie where they aren’t afraid to really have characters bite the big one. It also underscores how Jones nearly dies on several occasions only to get bailed out. Can you believe he was ready to eat some fruit while in a dangerous territory? Yeah you definitely have to wonder how he survived this long. The film does keep things from being too extreme though which is good. It has a better balance than the next film does.

Overall, Raiders of the Lost Ark is a pretty good film. It has a whole lot going on and the fun script makes it go pretty fast. As I said it can feel a bit long at times, I would say particularly the part in the desert but not enough to really hurt the film or anything like that. It is also a long film in general so to an extent this may have been unavoidable. If you haven’t seen the film yet then it is a good time to check it out. The movie is known as a classic after all and you can see why that is the case.

Overall 7/10

Romance of the Three Kingdoms IV: Wall of Fire Review

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It’s time for another tactics title and unfortunately I am here to say that it is definitely not a particularly good one. As with the others that I’ve played recently, it takes away all the fun from the concept. The game goes too far in trying to be as realistic as possible and completely forgets about the fun factor. You always need a good balance in order to succeed here and the game completely forgot about that. It’s a shame since I think this could have really ended up being solid but in the end it definitely did not live up to the potential.

When you begin the game you get to pick which event you want to play through. Big history buffs will recognize the differences but to a casual player it all looks the same. Fun enough and all that but nothing to really hang your hat on. They may as well have only had one level for all the difference it would make. The levels can also be quite long as I managed to survive for well over a decade before dying and that’s considering that I had no clue what to do.

Aside from combat you can also make deals among the men, give them food, barter for items, etc. The game lets you simulate almost every part of a real war from back in the day. You definitely have a lot of control this way and I can definitely see someone getting a kick out of it but the problem is that everything takes so long. This is probably unavoidable for a game of this scale from back in the day but it also means that you wish it was not so intricate.

You want to be able to just rush in and start fighting but of course you are penalized for doing that. It puts you in a really bad position because you are meant to do all of the side parts of the game but in that case it will be forever until you see any real combat. The actual combat is slow enough as it is since you can barely move in each turn. It ends up feeling like a real RNG fest. I know a lot of it comes down to skill as well and I couldn’t figure that out either. So as a result everything ends up going sideways here. Not really the way to go about things.

At the end of the day this feels like a war simulation game but without any real hook. It doesn’t help that the graphics are not particularly good. They’re not awful or anything but they also aren’t testing the limits of the SNES architecture. You’ll forget all about them by the end, same with the soundtrack. It’s just very generic and doesn’t do anything to elevate the experience. At the end of the day it means that this is a game that will not withstand the test of time, not even by a little bit.

Throwing in a true story mode would really help for this kind of thing. Adding that in addition to the simulation mode would have been a really good idea. For starters it would give you a way to really identify with the characters as well as make you want to keep playing. There isn’t much reason to play through otherwise since there are no real cutscenes. You just have to absolutely love the gameplay and it feels like that would be a very limited audience. How many people actually enjoy that kind of thing? Give me a classic 3D beat em up instead any day. Then no matter what happens with my allies and the A.I., I know that I can do in and just start taking names. That’s a way more fun experience.

Overall, This is definitely not a game that you have a whole lot of fun with. It was too ambitious for its own good although even in the modern day I’m not sure how good a remake would be. If it can make things very cinematic then that could work but the key will be ensuring that every part of the game is fun. Counting up the money and distributing among the warriors doesn’t really seem like a good idea if you ask me. It’s just not the proper way to play a game and have a blast. Definitely skip out on this title if you can.

Overall 3/10