Category Archives: Live Action Movies

Bat*21

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This review is based on the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film based on the dramatic story of the Bat’21. It makes for a pretty solid thriller and since I knew nothing about the real life events, it was all still very real and exciting for me. Definitely another reminder of why travelling across enemy lines for any reason is always dangerous and you never know what will happen. Being stranded has to be one of the worst nightmares of things that can happen to you.

The movie starts with Gene getting shot down over Vietnam and the rest of the men die. He manages to contact “Birddog” the call sign for one of the guys manning a helicopter. Gene hoped for a quick extraction but it won’t be so easy here since the whole place is basically a fire field and there are enemies all over the place. He will need to try and survive a whole night here but that won’t be easy. Additionally what if that one night turns into two? Gene is going to have to start thinking about planning his own way out of here or his life may be over a whole lot sooner than he expected.

The movie properly gets across how scary it is to be alone in the forest at night. Even when nobody is around you think you hear things. The natural wildlife certainly isn’t pleasant and it’s also incredibly dark out there. A single wrong move like stepping on a branch will absolutely be heard for miles. Additionally since you’re in another country you can’t just run out of there. You could be running for months and never make it anywhere close to America. In fact that’s basically a guarantee since you can’t just run out of there.

It’s also a tough numbers game because of course you could just blow up most of the area and evacuate him but the government’s not trying to burn down all of the innocents in the area too. Home court advantage isn’t with the U.S. and so a lot of the enemies are taking shelter with families in the tents. The longer Gene stays in Vietnam, the more he begins to doubt the mission as he sees just how brutal things get there.

One of the main themes here is how the war doesn’t look nearly as bad on paper but once you’re out on the field it can be a lot tougher to stomach. His life certainly wouldn’t be the same after this, that’s for sure. He also has to make some tough calls while on the ground on if he will fight or just succumb to what happens next. He doesn’t always handle the situation perfectly but it’s hard to ask for much more since he’s not accustomed to this.

Meanwhile Birddog has to be the MVP here. He takes a lot of great risks to help Gene out even when it means going against orders. It’s a tough situation but even so he knows that some of the orders don’t make sense, like sacrificing Gene and so he makes a move. When the going gets tough, the best characters will make a move and follow their instincts even when other characters tell them not to do something.

It’s why Birddog’s such a great guy. He never loses his humanity during all of this and you know that he’s someone you can count on. He intends to keep his word all the way to the end. I also liked his friend who led the air battalion to support extracting Gene. Things don’t go very well for them but the important part was that they tried. It would have been nice if someone could have helped them out though.

The movie is certainly very serious so you will see your share of sad moments here. Behind enemy lines there isn’t really such a thing as a 100% victory. There are going to be losses that pop up and the cycle of violence is another thing to consider. Each side keeps retaliating more and more which keeps increasing the body count and it’s always super difficult to be the one to stop it. However you do need someone to step up or ultimately everyone will be dead.

I definitely get why the airplanes ultimately took out the village though. While Gene was right that not everyone was a combatant, after a point they were being used to keep arming the others and providing a place to rest. It’s a no win situation and ultimately everyone loses so you have to choose who you protect and who to sacrifice. Never an easy call for sure.

Overall, Bat’21 is a pretty solid film. There is constant tension and danger in the air throughout the movie. You really see just how much the soldiers had to deal with on a daily basis during the war and of course it wouldn’t get any easier when they would get back home to a lot of disapproval. At the end of the day the soldiers didn’t ask to be stationed here but once they arrived they had to do their best to stay alive. Gene got to see first hand how rough this was and of course in the end the moral is that war is never a fun thing. It’s why you have to avoid it as long as you can but ultimately be prepared to fight when it comes to you.

The Warriors Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. Please address the review as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

The Warriors is a film that was pretty big back in the day. I like the concept of a gang having to basically try and get around the entire state with everyone after them. Unfortunately the movie doesn’t quite live up to the concept. There is a good amount of fun to be had here but the more the movie goes, the more the characters start to get a little unlikable. The movie sort of loses focus on its own plot and there isn’t nearly as much action as you would initially expect.

The movie starts off with all of the gangs converging in the Bronx because a speech is going to be made by the most influential gang of all. The leader is basically calling for a ceasefire because if the gangs can team up then they should be able to take over the city. Everyone’s pretty stoked about this but then the leader is suddenly shot. The worst part is that someone claims the Warriors are behind it. Their gang is fairly small plus they are behind enemy lines so it’s time to bounce. The problem as any New Yorker knows is that Coney Island is quite far from the Bronx. It takes over an hour to get there from Manhattan as it is! Are they ready for this?

It’s definitely fun to recognize the sites during the film. They actually filmed in slightly different locations and switched the train signs around which is clever but if you live in Manhattan then you’ll see through it. It’s a good way to just see the city and I’ve been around the area where most of the film takes place in quite a lot so that was nostalgic. The atmosphere is just right and so the film really starts off with a bang. You can feel the danger and the whole first act is excellent.

Where the film drops off majorly is during the chases in the middle of the film. See, the Warriors get split up and each group gets their own subplot. One part of the Warriors ends up bumping into an all girls gang and figure they’ll mess around a whole lot. The film needs extensive amounts of plot armor to keep them alive here though. Keep in mind that they suspect absolutely nothing the whole time and so there are numerous times when the guys are completely preoccupied and defenseless. It made no sense that the girls didn’t just murder them and that will definitely take you out of the film the whole time.

Then you have another group where one of the guys gets distracted by a lady who’s hanging out alone by a bench. He is here to remind us that the Warriors are still a gang and as such are not particularly heroic. Fortunately she ends up being an undercover cop and calls in the police to bring him to jail. What’s disappointing is the fact that he was actually attempting to overpower her which isn’t just a villainous move but pretty much the worst action possible. You’re absolutely rooting for this guy to be crushed and by extension you’re not really rooting for the rest of the Warriors as much either.

As a side note I do think that the undercover cop plan was super risky though. It took quite a while for the cops to arrive after being signaled since I guess they didn’t just have them camping in the park. Personally I think you have to have at least one officer hiding close by in the bushes or something because a lot can happen in a few minutes. You have to be discreet but you can definitely do that while still being safe.

Meanwhile the main one, Swan mostly stays focused and does a good job of staying focused on the goal..until near the end. He ends up cracking and has a quick fling with Mercy who had been taunting him throughout the film but if would have been good if he had stayed strong instead. She was constantly getting the group into fights by goading on different fighters and increasing the tension levels as a result. The Warriors nearly got away without a fight from the first gang and she’s the one who pressed for one. I feel like getting together with her after that is a bit much.

The romance here is definitely sub par and in a way that’s because this film should not have had any romance to start with. This is supposed to be a gang war film with a ton of battles and every group going at it. When you stop to have a quick affair like this it just doesn’t make any sense. There are only around 2-3 real battles here. I did like the confrontation in the park which was one of the more extended fights at least. The Warriors got to show that they could really fight but it’s also an opportunity to show what the film could have been.

This absolutely should have been like Mortal Kombat with a fight every few minutes. It should have been a full boss rush as the Warriors take on every rival gang around and keep it moving. There was a whole lot of potential there but in the end there are definitely a lot more chases than fighting. Still there are things that the film does well.

When the characters aren’t looking really awful, we do get to see them planning and outmaneuvering all of the gangs. I liked the atmosphere of the gang being out really late at night. Even nowadays you never want to be out too late because that’s asking for trouble so you can only imagine back when there were a ton of gangs everywhere. You do feel better when you’re in a group though which is why they keep on getting separated until there are fewer and fewer of them around.

The ending is also satisfying and really finishes things off in a nice way. You always want to end things on a high note and that happens here. Plus seeing the sunlight as the heroes finally make it back to Coney Island was nice as a way to show that they did survive the night and made it back home. Only way I’d top the ending would have been to show that the Warriors had a bunch of extra members who had stayed home and they are the ones who end up surrounding the villain. Would have been a good way to show that this is their home turf. The villain was very underwhelming so he would have folded either way but I think this would have been a nice touch.

Overall, The Warriors has a better story than the actual execution. While watching the film you keep waiting for the big gang fights and all the action that follows but instead we focus more on the gang members individually as they get a lot of character development and that’s not what you wanted to see here. Particularly because the characters didn’t end up being likable by the end precisely because of these moments. You’re better off doing the big New York walk yourself one of these days, start early and see how far you can go.

Overall 4/10

The Trip to Bountiful Review

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It’s time for a movie that is pleasant enough but also supremely annoying. The ending isn’t at satisfying as the movie would have you believe and that’s because there just isn’t a reason to believe that things will be different. One character in particular is a massive pushover and looks awful the whole time. Seriously you do not want him in your corner because at the end of the day he’s really not going to do anything for you. He’ll just bow to peer pressure and then that’s the end of that.

The film starts off with introducing us to Carrie who has had to live through a rather unpleasant home environment for quite a while now. Her son Ludie has been completely dominated by his wife Jessie to the point where he will do all her bidding and never sticks up for his own mother. Jessie keeps on taking Carrie’s retirement checks and forbids her from doing basic things like singing hymns. She has also forbidden Carrie from ever going back to her real home. Carrie finally has enough of this and slips away during one sunny afternoon. She has a headstart now but is older and she’s heading for a town so small that most people don’t even know about it anymore. Will she be able to make it or will she be captured by Jessie? The clock is ticking and time is definitely not on her side.

Okay so the main annoying thing here is how much Ludie lets Jessie get away with. The guy is absolutely spineless for the entirety of the film to the point where I would call him an antagonist. When you just stand by and let your mother get picked on then you’re basically guilty in that respect. Ultimately when you’re married it is expected that your significant other will become the #1 priority in your life but you should still be able to see reason enough to stand up for yourself and call that person out when the wrong calls are being made.

This did not feel like a healthy or balanced relationship. Instead Ludie was basically just getting bullied the whole time and it’s a really bad look. It’s a massive L for this guy. Then of course you have Jessie who is still the main antagonist here. It’s crazy how she shamelessly takes the money and constantly barks out orders. She’s a very toxic person and one who shows no real signs of changing which is why the ending doesn’t land. Any scene with her is annoying and you just feel like the movie doesn’t really do anything to have her own up to her crimes. That’s really the biggest problem with her. If the film had acknowledged this…then okay fine I can get behind that. But since they don’t, that’s where the issues really come up.

Finally we have Carrie who is doing her best to get back home. She is very old during this adventure so that does put her at a big disadvantage. She also ends up succumbing to Jessie’s demands most of the time to please Ludie which is too bad since I’d like her to take a firmer stance. Ultimately it would bring more trouble but apologizing when you’re not the one at fault has always been a real annoying thing. You just shouldn’t have to do that under any circumstances.

There is one main side character here in Thelma who was a really nice character. She did her best to look out for Carrie during the bus ride as well as when they were at the bus stop. I actually thought she was going to be around for the whole film but ultimately she was just there for part of the journey. Her appearance was very appreciated though as she helped Carrie through a tough period and it would have been a lot tougher if Carrie was on her own. Ultimately Thelma was the highlight of the movie for just being a kind person in a movie where everyone else seemed rather cruel for no reason. Even the Sheriff took forever and a day to help Carrie out when giving her a simple drive seemed like a no brainer.

I’m also glad the film didn’t have Carrie die when she made it home, like she had just been hanging on until she got there. That definitely would have been real unfortunate. As I mentioned earlier this ending still isn’t perfect like with how the villains don’t really pay for their crimes. That’s something that really should have been fixed through and through. I wanted Carrie to insist she stays in town or just move off on her own. Even bolder, have Jessie leave, those would have all been more satisfying endings.

Instead the ending is basically that things will eventually work out and they all just have to take it. Pretty bad message if you ask me because none of it was Carrie’s fault. It’s the classic “We’re all a little at fault I guess” kind of ending that I never agree with. You shouldn’t have to pay for someone else’s issues and we saw nothing in the film to even suggest that Carrie was being a problem in any way. Throughout the film she was the one doing her best through and through.

That’s really the sore point of the film and what keeps it from getting a higher film. It just feels like the whole thing wasn’t fair at all and Carrie effectively got penalized for just being a nice person. That’s no good. If you watch this film, just get ready to be annoyed a whole lot because Carrie just trying to visit her home is something that should be a simple matter and not something she has to ask permission for. The whole thing is just bonkers.

Overall, This movie is still supposed to be more of a feel good title, but it forgot the feels good parts. If it was a little more upbeat and fun then I think we’d be having a very different conversation here. As it stands that just wasn’t in the cards and I can think of many better films to watch if you want to feel good. It’s time for this movie to instead be lost in the years of time.

Overall 4/10

The Beguiled Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the movie. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

If I saw this film in the theaters my disappointment would have been immeasurable and my day ruined. Look at this poster above? It’s a great poster and would get you hyped up for the movie. Now this is an excellent wild west adventure with some action right? Well the movie is anything but that. There are no true fight scenes here and instead we have a super awful main character and a bunch of bad side characters as well. Definitely a film that you will want to stay far away from without a doubt.

The movie starts off with John getting injured and a little girl notices him outside of her school. The headmistress reluctantly takes him in and they figure they should nurse him back to health before turning him over to the authorities. This film takes place during the civil war and the school is in the south while John is from the North. As a result their duty officially is to turn him over right away but they feel like this would not be just. So instead they are keeping him around and John figures that this is his chance to get away. His grand master plan is to seduce all of them and take over the school. The problem is…he’s succeeding. Can anyone stop him?

This is just a very mean spirited movie from start to finish. All of the characters are either corrupt or get corrupted as the events fly by. John isn’t a likable character and to the film’s defense he is the main antagonist so they’re not trying to make him likable. Whenever he shows up you’re just going to groan and he’s around for the entire film. Basically the guy has absolutely no shame in manipulating the emotions of the women there. The film is also going for the extra gritty points here by adding in two crazy additions to the plot. The first is that one of the girls is only 17.

Yeah the film went out of its way to confirm this just to make that whole plot even more awful. The film was morally bankrupt by this point. Then we see that Martha had an inappropriate relationship growing up and the less said on that the better. None of these additions do anything to improve the film or service the plot. They are only here for shock value and to remind you of what a trainwreck this movie is. At the end of the day that’s all this is and a film isn’t going to survive with this low level writing.

Shock value doesn’t work for more than a second but does lasting harm to the film. Just like that, all of the characters are ruined. John would have been ruined either way with how exaggerated he is and all the affairs he’s pulling off. The guy lies, cheats, and does whatever he can to survive all so he can avoid the war which makes him a true villain. Then the movie isn’t satisfied and also has him murder an animal just to let this all sink home. Oof that was bad.

The film really made sure that it fell into every possible cinematic landmine. The worst part is that despite this, Edwina doesn’t totally go against John. Yes she gets mad at him during several points of the film but by the end she seems to have actually forgiven him. I was shellshocked. See, the whole time I thought she was planning some kind of grand murder scheme and was just acting the part. See, that would actually make a lot of sense but the film doesn’t go this route. No, instead she got stockholm syndrome I guess and actually liked him.

At least the ending of the film is very satisfying. I got really worried that there would be a cop out at the end like the girl didn’t pick the right mushrooms but fortunately that doesn’t happen. Everything happens as it should and in a way John probably gets off a bit lighter than needed. Still, I’ll accept the outcome and while the film may have been beyond saving by that point anyway, it was a start. I was still glad to see this outcome at least.

It goes without saying that Martha’s a pretty bad character too despite trying to have a holier than thou attitude. She had a lot of issues of her own and a very troubled past. Martha also went out of her way to get even with John despite all of the excuses that she had afterwards. She absolutely knew what she was doing every step of the way and I don’t think anything could convince me otherwise. This is just who she was through and through. Edwina comes across as incredibly naïve and too emotional. The ending of the film hurt her big time as a result. Then Carol was also really annoying in her constant attempts to seduce John. This even eventually went all the way up to blackmail which was crazy and made her a full antagonist as well.

Yeah this film’s definitely no fun and you should stay far away. The film even has the southern soldiers show up at one point and then heavily imply that they were creeps as well. The scene that almost happens which the film kept hinting at was really not needed. The movie is so concerned with being edgy that it forgets to have a real plot and that’s the worst part about the film. You definitely could have tried to make a decent flick out of this even after you changed the basic plot and made the characters more likable. Instead it’s all just absurd and not in a fun way.

Overall, The film may have a satisfying ending but that doesn’t take away from the unlikable cast and all of the unnecessary elements of the film. I’s hard to get past those and ultimately the movie doesn’t have any fun. It’s definitely a hard film to finish and has below average pacing. Stick away from this one and watch something a lot more fun like the Tom & Jerry movie instead. That one will keep you entertained.

Overall 0/10

St Elmo’s Fire Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a particularly brutal film. When you think of a dramatic romance film this is the kind of title that comes to mind because it’s so over the top that you’re going to be cringing a whole lot. None of the characters are likable in the slightest and the whole thing is like an out of control fire. Trust me you’re going to want to stay far away from this one.

The movie starts by introducing us to a group of teenagers. They have a very complicated interpersonal relationship structure going on. They’re having affairs with each other, living their life, and crushing hearts all at the same time. After graduating school they figure they can still be friends but that is quickly found to be impossible. There are just too many relationship dramas going on and for at least one character it may even be life threatening. Is there any way to salvage this?

All the characters here are awful but I guess we should still break this down a bit. First up is Kirby who is a super desperate guy. He likes one girl who basically never gives him the time of day but each time he thinks he can win her over. He always overanalyzes what she says and now thinks that he needs to get rich and then she’ll go out with him. Of course he should ask himself why he is chasing after her like this. If she is only going to get together with him if he’s rich…then is that really love? Of course there are some conversations online about how gold digging is actually really good and the strongest bond but I feel like that is mostly hopium and not rooted in any facts. Regardless this guy is extremely annoying. Kirby has a lot of competition for worst character along with all his friends but the guy doesn’t do himself any favors.

Then you have Jules who is trying to have an affair with her boss but things aren’t going so well. She’s also leading on another guy who is having troubles of his own and ultimately this leads to her getting really depressed and nearly ending it all. It’s definitely a rough situation all around and while she may have dug herself into this situation, you do feel bad for her. It’s just that the whole movie is so overly dramatic that it all doesn’t hit as well. Even while she is about to die, her “friends” are fighting with each other and one nearly gets thrown off the building. Not a good look right?

The problem is that they’re all cheating on each other with others so it’s only natural that none of them can trust each other. Then there’s Billy who is really messing around by being with everyone and has gone in with the wrong crowd. He’s way too off the deep end and has a bad attitude about everything. Even when characters try to help him out and get him a job he has no gratitude. You can’t really help a character like that.

There’s Wendy who is the nice character but ultimately she makes a lot of mistakes in the relationships as well and cracks by the end. Honestly the best thing you can do in this situation is to get away from the other characters as fast as possible. I dare say that almost anyone would be dragged into the mud along with them after enough exposure. It’s why it’s so important to choose your friends wisely because otherwise you will just begin to get corrupted as a person as well and then there is no coming back from that. I mean you can come back from that but of course it gets difficult.

There are a bunch of other teenagers here but ultimately the characters are going to start blending together. They’re already sounding a bit similar in the summaries above right? Well one last one to put a spotlight on is Kevin because he’s particularly bad. So he fell in love with Leslie a long time ago but never had enough courage to mention this so he’s basically been her “friend” for ages. Finally he gets drunk enough to confess and they have a quick affair but the whole thing is basically a summation of the worst Hollywood romance tropes.

First off you have the classic idea that any “friend” is always secretly looking to get together with you the instant that you drop your guard. That was definitely rough here, like really? Then the girl was easy enough where they did have a fling which ends up adding a lot of tension since her other boyfriend shows up later on. Ultimately if you like your friend like that then you have to confess early on or keep the secret to the grave. If you stretch it out then you’re basically taking advantage since all the times you were hanging out platonically, it wasn’t actually platonic. This guy just felt way too whiny the whole time.

Needless to say I didn’t find the writing in the film to be particularly impressive. With no likable characters to root for, the film was always going to be very limited in what it could pull off. You need at least one great character around or else the whole thing’s kind of pointless. There’s a ton of drama here but all of the problems are basically self inflicted wounds by the characters in putting themselves in these scenarios. The film starts to drag and it goes without saying that the romances here are awful. In short the movie doesn’t give you any real reason to enjoy it.

Overall, I definitely recommend staying far away from this film. The whole film is a fire in a sense so I guess I can give them some props for living up to the premise but that’s it. There are no redeeming factors about the movie and at no point will you be entertained. This one desperately needs a remake from the ground up that changes everything about it, but at that point it’s basically a different film anyway.

Overall 1/10

The Flash Review

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All right folks it’s time to talk about the Flash. This film was getting quite a lot of hype for the Batmen and Supergirl appearing. You could say that the guest stars were the main draws in this one and it is deserved since they all upstage the Flash. This ends up being a good movie but unfortunately that’s about where it ends because this film had the longest amount of dead time I’ve seen in a CBM. The long middle act really ends up limiting its potential.

The movie starts with Flash saving the city while Batman saves the world and it’s a pretty solid way to kick things off. It felt like the intro to a Justice League episode. Flash then gets the idea to go back in time to save his mother and in turn save his father from being falsely accused of murdering her. So the Flash pulls this off and saves her but now the timeline is going in a rather odd direction. Will he be able to fix this new timeline or will he have to become the ultimate villain and let his mother die?

Fans who know of the Flashpoint event from the comics or the previous animated movie will likely know a lot of the story beats right out of the gate and I’d say most people seemed to figure out the villain right from the trailer so this isn’t about the twists so much as it’s about the adventure. There is one twist that I didn’t see coming involving the main Flash and his powers since the trailers cleverly hid/misdirected from this but unfortunately that’s actually one of the biggest issues in the film. There are a lot of things I can’t really talk about without getting into spoiler territory so I’ll leave that for the end.

The special effects here are really solid. They do a good job with the lightning bolts from the Flash costume and with the slow mo. The fights with Zod have some good sound barrier blows although the fights are noticeably a step below Black Adam and Man of Steel so the director/producer need to work on showing off the power levels a bit better for the next one. The costumes and visuals are good so I have no complaints here. The soundtrack is also good with a lot of variety among the hero themes and of course some really solid ones from the past as well. It’s effectively like a big crossover track selection which makes sense for the movie.

The whole climax is pretty solid on the action front even if they do fumble the ball with some decisions by the end. The ending’s definitely not good but I’ll delve into that in the ending segment. Unfortunately the after credits scene is also one of the weakest ones I’ve seen. You won’t even break into a smile while it plays and the whole time you were waiting for something big to happen. It’s not as disappointing as the after credit scene involving Venom where he teleported again but this was still very lackluster. They could have shown Zoom, Reverse Flash, Savitar, or some other really hype character. Instead…well you’ll see it when you see it.

The film works as a Flash origin story to an extent as they manage to squeeze that in while we learn more about his past. It’s an origin you’ve pretty much pictured all the way through but that part’s not bad even if it lacks the mystery and mystique that you’re used to from it. The way we don’t see much of who actually bumped off the mother does lead me to believe that eventually they’re still going to set up the real culprit. It’s just going to be a little dicey because there should be some clues that would have come up during the investigation, like nobody actually approaching the house or something. These things can be easily explained though so we’ll see how that goes.

Ultimately the film lives or dies on the Flash which is fitting since it’s his movie and unfortunately he is one of the weakest parts of the movie. There are two Barry Allens due to this second timeline and the second one is super annoying. Part of why the middle portion of the film flops is because it’s basically trying to be Bill and Ted. The characters are just being annoying the whole time, the original Barry gets wrecked by everybody while the second one takes everything as a joke.

That can be fun but the problem is that the writing isn’t nearly up to par with Bill and Ted. That film on the whole is considerably funnier. This film does have some good humor scenes like Batman and Flash getting blasted with a mental attack to try and humiliate them. Yes, I’d say the attack was clearly intentional and not accidental. It’s fun just because you can imagine how difficult that scenario would be if you were hit. Beyond that though, the film’s humor doesn’t really land all that well. The Flash is often times just annoying.

Additionally from the jump I said that the Flash actor wasn’t really right for the part and he still doesn’t feel like the Flash. Part of that is writing to be sure but part of it is ultimately just the actor. Grant from the CW still has the definitive Flash look and also the much better suit which is always odd to think about since a TV show costume shouldn’t beat a big budget movie version right? Sometimes it’s just a case of overdesigning and that’s what happened here. With a bunch of DC heroes getting recasted soon I definitely don’t mind if Flash gets recasted. Honestly Affleck and Cavill were the only two definitive ones. I don’t mind if the rest get recasted but I’m good either way on most of them. The Flash is just the one that really needs it.

The Keaton Batman gets a fairly big role here. He has a super rough start though, his first scenes are really just painful and you’re wondering how this could possibly be Batman. That whole string of scenes is another sequence that is just painfully unfunny. I don’t want to say it’s the worst sequence but it was rather brutal in a negative way and same for all of his scenes prior to the costume. Once he puts on the suit then he’s good though. He gets his share of action scenes and puts up some good fights which is always really good. I’m always up for some good Batman action after all and the suit really holds up well. The film also did a good job of showing the different fighting styles between him and the main timeline Batman.

The first Batman doesn’t get to appear a whole lot but he definitely made the most of his scenes. He perhaps had a little too much trouble against some ordinary minions but the point of the scene was really to show off his motorcycle. I really liked the design of that thing and the afterburners were really cool. We also saw his gadgets in more detail and it reminds me of why a film about a super experienced Batman like this sounds really good right about now.

In terms of the villains, well we have Zod who is an interesting character. See, he looks incredibly weak in the fights as he struggles to land a single hit on Supergirl at all so on one hand she seems to be massively stronger and faster. On the other hand, he always seems to come out on top for contrived plot reasons. I suppose I’m satisfied since it shows his tactical skills. The others don’t get to do as much and are practically mindless monsters. In general the Kryptonians don’t look as strong as they should since the rank and file should still be very strong but that’s how it goes sometimes. Supergirl herself looks really good though. She has a solid amount of super strength at her disposal and does well in the fight. She’s definitely a very different take on the character but one that works well I would say. She reminds me a bit of Wolverine or Superboy and still comes with the aggression and eagerness to fight which is important.

You may be wondering why the Flash doesn’t just solo the whole movie in an instant right? Writing a speedster is the single hardest thing for a writer to do because their speed is so unreal, particularly the Flash since he’s the fastest of all. Well, the movie introduces a few weaknesses to try and prevent this. The first is that the Flash’s appetite has been drastically increased to the point where he loses his powers if he’s too hungry. Great…..but hey it is a legitimate way to nerf him into the ground and does widen the gap of why Superman’s way more powerful so I can get behind this.

Flash also can’t move people at super speed more than a few feet or they get super sick and could possibly die. I’m not sure about this one since you’d think the speed force would protect anyone that he’s carrying but it’s also a way to make sure he doesn’t just evacuate a whole country in a few minutes or anything like that. There is one other element used to prevent him from soloing the movie but the trailers intentionally hid that so I’ll keep that for the spoiler section. So that did at least help with some of the power level issues you’d usually find but the film still had enough of them to go around.

Okay it’s time for the spoilers! Skip the next paragraphs if you haven’t seen the movie yet since we’re about to dive in! First up we have to talk about the middle act and why I didn’t care for it. Long story short, the Flash gets depowered because he wasn’t fast enough to dodge lightning. That’s already absurd but the worst part is that it defeats the purpose of this being a Flash film. I never like when the main character is depowered for a movie, particularly when it lasts for a long time. Do that as an episode plot in season 5 of a TV show or something but not for a movie. I’m watching the Flash to see the Flash run around and do cool things with his powers.

Instead this is used to prevent him from saving the day and using his cool powers. Instead we have to watch the other Flash learn how to use his powers. Again they’re trying to make this the big origin story kind of moment as he slowly goes through the motions. I get what they’re doing but to me it just did not work. The other Flash is just way too annoying the whole time and without his powers the first Flash isn’t particularly interesting. The whole plot felt very forced and lasted for a super long amount of time which was the roughest part. Depowering the hero is never a good idea imo.

Then we get to the core of the issue which is the dilemma of choosing to save the mother or not. Now you know where I stand on this, you absolutely do have to save her. The instant that you have the ability to manipulate time then you are now required to use it to save people. Why? One big reason is if you have this ability then it stands to reason that someone else does as well. The instant that time travel becomes real, there is no such thing as a correct timeline because you have no way of knowing if someone else has already changed time. So now you do need to use it to save as many people as possible. I’ll dive more into this in an editorial someday but yeah that’s a big one.

Then this scenario is even worse because it’s not like you’re trying to save a random person to which you would still be obligated to do so. It’s his own mother and he has to actively murder her by removing the can of tomato sauce from her shopping cart. That’s a huge no no, it’s virtually as bad as Eren by the end of Attack on Titan with the decisions that he made. Flash should not be doing this and unfortunately it’s a part of every Flashpoint adaption and never gets any better.

Now Batman makes the argument that some points in time cannot be changed because they’re fixed points. I didn’t buy into this in Spider-Verse and I certainly don’t buy it here. At least in Spiderverse you had some reason to buy into Miguel’s speech because the characters have been going across dimensions so they have something you can tangibly look at. In this one? Batman’s arguing pure hypotheticals because he’s never gone through time or to other dimensions. He talks with such confidence about how every other time travel theory is wrong but why should he believe this to be a fact? Personally I don’t buy into this time theory myself but even in universe I wouldn’t.

In fact, the film breaks its own logic. At the very end the Flash ends up moving the tomato sauce which causes it to be on the wrong shelf so the father looked up and that’s why the cameras caught him this time causing his innocence. This changes who Batman is and likely changes a whole lot of other things along with it. So…he just changed the past with no future effects. What the film should have done is end Jingle All The Way style with Flash realizing that he actually can change the past and he gets ready to dash off as the music flares.

I’ll never accept a reality where he has to destroy his mother and the film did a very poor job of trying to convince me otherwise. It’s the only good point I give to alternate Barry because at least he tried over and over again for numerous years to the point where he got old. That’s true dedication as opposed to Barry who gave up after 2-3 tries. Seriously you’d think he would have tried a little harder than that.

Additionally another issue I have here is that with time travel there will never be such a thing as a fixed point with the amount of options and speed that Flash has. Just go further back in time so you save Supergirl before the government gets her or some other radical changes that ensures the present won’t arrive. When you tell me that time will always happen the same way I don’t buy it because it’s just impossible. It didn’t work in the Booster Gold comic, it didn’t work in Mashle, it’s never worked convincingly in any form of media. When you have the ability to freely move through time then nothing is inaccessible.

The ending’s definitely a sour point to be sure. As to the power level issues, they’re not as big a deal but the Flashes taking on an army of Kryptonians and blasting them away with thunder? Eh, I’ve seen worse but I’m not totally buying that. By the same token though once time travel is on the table, they should have had no problem taking out Zod and friends with their unlimited prep time. After all that’s what it is…unlimited prep time. Take the scene where Flash tells Batman not to take on the ship and he quickly dodges. That’s an excellent way of using time to your advantage and he just had to keep on going.

Ultimately Alternate Barry makes for a cool villain design. Not as cool as Savitar from the show but it looks neat. I just wish he got to do more since he probably has less than 5 minutes of screen time. The movie needed a villain who was around longer. There was Zod but he’s always in the background for the Supergirl plot. We needed a villain for the Flash and that would have helped to elevate things or just give this guy more screen time and a true fight. Isn’t it a waste that this is a Flash movie yet there are no speedster battles? Cmon that’s kind of crazy since that’s something you look forward too.

The movie dropped the ball on a lot of potential with things like that. No speed battles, all of the cameos don’t get to fight with each other or help the Flash. The only one who got an action scene was against a giant monster which was cool and all, the best scene from the cameos. You just wanted a little more than that. Throwing in some extra excitement and action would have done the movie a world of good. Okay this ends the spoiler bit so lets wrap things up now.

Overall, The Flash is a good movie but the super long middle act really hurts the replay value of this one. It’s the kind of film you’ll probably have fun watching the big action scenes on Youtube but you don’t really need to watch the whole film again for that. It’s definitely still worth the watch though to see the next big DC adventure. Even if the ending’s no good, there is still a chance to fix it in the sequel. Just have the Flash find out who actually bumped the mother off and if it’s a certain speedster, then he’ll realize that the timeline was already messed up from the jump and he can make another attempt. That’s definitely how I would do it. As the Avengers would say: “Whatever it takes!”

Overall 6/10

American Underdog

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It’s time to take a look at a movie about Kurt Warner. I definitely remember him a lot growing up, I missed his golden years but he was still recent enough where he was in all of the books. I remember him as a very explosive QB and an elite talent all around so I was looking forward to seeing what he was like here. That said, while the film is very good and goes into great detail on the work it took to get to the NFL, it dropped the ball on one key aspect. We don’t get to see almost any of his actual NFL journey and considering that he won a Super Bowl, that’s a pretty big deal. We really should have gotten more NFL screen time even if it meant extending the film by 30 minutes or so.

Kurt was always good at throwing the ball but as we see in his younger years he would scramble a whole lot and his coach didn’t like that. He wanted Kurt to be a pocket passer even if it meant taking absolutely devastating shots throughout the game. Kurt did his best but it wasn’t working so well and he was starting to wonder if he would ever end up playing in the NFL. Around this time he met up with a lady named Brenda and they hit it off right away. The main dilemma Kurt faces from there is if he continues to chase his dream but in the meantime he will be super low on money which is rough for their family or he finds a stable job and gets out of the sports game.

Of course we know the answer since this is based on his incredible career but that’s where most of the drama is. He and Brenda may have gotten together right away but their troubles only just begin from there. First up is obviously the financial issues since that’s always a strain on any relationship. Then due to Kurt’s job, he has to be away from home a whole lot because there are always games to be had and practices. Kurt’s with a lot of younger guys all the time who may not be the best of influences as well so he has to constantly guard himself against temptations and that’s also rough for Brenda while she’s at home. Brenda already had a negative experience in that way with her first husband. Finally Brenda is a little older than Kurt and already has a kid, both things of which can appear as red flags and Kurt’s mother isn’t particularly pleased with this arrangement.

Yeah they’ve got a lot of hurdles to overcome that’s for sure. In general you usually see the wife being younger than the husband as the norm but if the gap’s not that large I don’t think it should matter. My rule of thumb is of course it’s ideal if both people are about the same age but if there’s a gap, I think you can make it work up to 10 years or so, obviously as long as both are over 21. In this case the gap is 4 years which is basically nothing really. I think having a kid already is a bit of a tougher one since often times you want a fresh start and to have your first kid together.

Fortunately Kurt’s a great guy and gets along with the kids (There are 2 of them after all) right away. Brenda’s also a very responsible person with a good head on her shoulders and basically lets Kurt know that the kids are her priority and if he’s cool with that. He is and so things are good there. I could have done without some of the drama near the middle as I felt like it went on a bit longer than it needed to be but if that’s how it played out in real life then of course it makes sense to keep that in.

I enjoyed the Football moments a lot and his coach at the Rams was definitely a very likable guy. The OC took a little more getting used to since he seemed to be mean for no reason. The whole “Tough Love” approach can be annoying at times because sure being tough for a little bit can be a character builder but when you go too far it just comes across as obnoxious. I would personally have focused more on the Football though because it’s always great to see the games. I watch the NFL every year after all and can never get enough of it. Nowadays I’ll even check out the late games when I can and as much during the day as possible. With movie directing and such you can probably make it even more epic so that’s still my one complaint which I keep bringing up.

The drama is important of course and same with the romance but you could still cut large chunks of those scenes out and you’ll be all set. I think it’s a worthy tradeoff for some more Football action don’t you think? The Super Bowl is the main reason he got a film after all. If Kurt didn’t win a Super Bowl then the story wouldn’t be quite as miraculous the way it is today and so since that was such a big part of his legacy it should be included here. More than just a scene or two the way that it happened, I wanted a full breakdown of the season and everything!

Overall, American Underdog is definitely a really solid film. Kurt Warner was one of the best to ever do it and he definitely went through a path that seems like it would be super hard to replicate. He is the one in a million scenario here. If you’re interested in the details of how he got to the top then I definitely recommend checking this one out. Now we just need them to do a film on the greatest QB of all time, Tony Romo!

American Sniper

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This write-up is based on the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

I can only imagine how difficult it is to be a sniper in an active combat zone. On top of the pressures on the average soldier which are already numerous, you’re now someone who has the added burden of watching out for them. If you notice a threat too late or hesitate to pull the trigger, you may lose comrades and that’s guilt that will stay with you for the rest of your days. You also have to be super accurate because in real life people are constantly moving and so all it takes is an inch to miss. Yeah it’s definitely not a gig that I would want but someone’s got to do it and this film’s about one of the best in the business.

The film starts off by introducing us to Chris who learned how to shoot at an early age by his father. They would go on hunting trips and such. Chris was also taught to defend himself and to stick up for others from early on as since he was blessed with great strength and ability, he needed to use that. This ultimately ends up giving him a bit of a hero/martyr complex as he goes into war and then he just can’t leave. After every term is up he keeps on re-enlisting which causes some strife at home with his wife. Ultimately if he continues to go out there as a sniper he can keep on saving a lot of lives but it may cost him his own as his family will have to move on without him. Can he choose to exit the game now or must he press on?

It’s a tough question of course and one that you always have to wrestle with. In life there is always something extra you can be doing to help someone else. Whether it be something really dangerous like going to war or something more mild like volunteering at a local soup kitchen there are always people who need help and ways for you to provide that. You also have to balance it against your own mental and physical health as well as keeping time to spend with your family. Everyone ultimately has to figure this answer out for themselves and it’s why I won’t say Chris was incorrect to keep on going.

If the guilt of not going to war and saving his troops would have ate him up then it makes sense to keep on going. Ultimately once he took out the enemy sniper then he was finally ready to call it a day but even then he was haunted for a while. When you’ve been in war all your life it has to be tough to just go back to being a normal civilian again. I’m personally against hunting in general and think we shouldn’t be doing that at all. It did allow Chris to develop the skills that he would ultimately need to take down the enemies but ultimately I’d like to see robotics improve enough to where you can practice on them rather than wildlife. The animal scene was a bit rough here.

Aside from Chris there really isn’t much of a main cast. His fellow soldiers tend to change for every draft since most aren’t voluntarily deciding to jump back into the fray. For a lot of these guys that probably sounds crazy since so many people die normally, re-enlisting is doubling your chances to die. There are other patriots like Chris who will keep on enlisting but they are likely the minority there.

His wife is around a lot and you can see how things are difficult for her. Effectively she is raising her kid as a single mom at this point with how he’s never home and that’s not easy. In general you get married for companionship as a main component so being by yourself tends to defeat the purpose. She definitely fought hard to stop Chris from going each time but in the end he was just too determined.

On the enemy side the only person with a lot of screen time was the enemy sniper who could really hold his own against Chris. The guy’s skills were legit and he also got a lot of kills on his side. Of course each one would eat away at Chris more and more even though most of the time it really wasn’t on him. He can’t do everything and taking out other snipers can be a part of his job but ultimately covering the troops and looking for threats is the main one. In a large battlefield you won’t always be in the right place at the right time.

It’s a different perspective on the battles compared to the normal ones for sure since usually you’re following the soldiers, not the sniper at the top. There isn’t a lot of variety in the scenery as a result though and if you’re not really into war movies then a portion of the film will probably get a little boring after a while. This movie isn’t aiming to be super entertaining, funny, or like a summer blockbuster. It’s really a movie about how traumatic war can be so this won’t really be for everyone. That said, the film properly gives you the right impression of what it’ll be about so you should know right out of the gate if you will like it or not.

Overall, The movie seems to be very true to the story of Chris’ life. I don’t know a whole lot about it myself but there’s a lot of good detail here and at the end they also give you the aftermath. Often times films based on true stories don’t have the happiest of endings which is why it was big enough to be a movie. So I understand why they kept the afterword in even if it’s not really the best way to end things off. If you’re up for an intense war film then this should be up your alley but definitely be ready for a very emotional experience.

The Cheap Detective Review

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It’s been a little while since I’ve seen a parody but I’m always up for this kind of a film. A well written parody will absolutely go a long way because when you understand the gags and see how the film pulls them off it can really be a blast. I would say that by and large this film really succeeds at it too. It probably ends up front loading most of the best gags into the first half but ultimately it’s a film I would recommend all the way through. There is also a good amount of replay value to be found here.

The main character here is a detective named Lou who is always in over his head. The guy’s not very good at his job and just barely manages to hang in there. This time he is in a particularly tough spot though as he is framed for the murder of his partner. He’s the main suspect as it was common knowledge that he had been cheating with the partner’s girl and she isn’t doing a whole lot to try and prove his innocence. She even shows up with the cops to his door on multiple occasions. Lou needs to put some distance between all of them and quick. He has some leads including old flames and very sketchy underworld figures. Will they be enough to help him crack this case once and for all?

Naturally as a parody this film never really takes it self seriously and you shouldn’t either. You’re here more for the laughs and smiles than the actual mystery. Right from the opening scene they set the tone on this as everyone has just been murdered yet they were all in odd poses and never broke formation even after the bullet hit them. That is impressive to be sure but also really crazy. All of the conversations tend to start getting nonsensical after a while which is part of the point.

One of the better scenes is when the heroine calls Lou up but openly allows the cops to listen in on the conversation. The film even pokes fun at how the hero always has a bunch of heroines after him as he gets involved with 3 during the course of this film and they all end up at his place at the same time. It takes a lot of agility and quick thinking to keep them all from meeting up with each other. Lou is ironically quick witted when it comes to situations like this as opposed to the actual case.

Although the case would be difficult for anyone to solve. There are always more and more twists here as more and more players jump into the action. Also you have to consider that even the best of detectives would start to run into trouble when every character is lying through their teeth and half of them make absolutely no sense. Honestly after the film is over you’ll have a hard time keeping track of everything as well. It almost feels like the characters’ stories are changing as the film goes on although that might just be my imagination. It would be a nice extra detail if that was the case though.

The main thing to keep in mind is just that the characters are trying to get some kind of special object the whole time and you’ve also got a war going on in the background. As long as you have all that context then the rest is easy. You’re bound to be laughing at quite a few of the scenes here and the pacing is good so the jokes don’t tend to overstay their welcome. Not every gag will land for you of course but in a film like this there are always a bunch of other jokes to pick up the slack for the ones that did not do so well.

This film just never runs out of jokes and that’s a good thing because it’s important for a comedy film to just keep plunging ahead without missing a beat. The writing is good which is also important and the story is engaging. As I said earlier my only issue to an extent is that they used all the best material in the first half. The second half had a tendency to just not have as many all star jokes the whole time. It was still funny but the first half is absolutely what put it on the map. That’s regrettable to an extent because the ending is always what people remember so you want to end really well.

If there’s anything the film is lacking it’s that we could have had a good rival to Lou. Someone who is super competent perhaps but somehow always gets foiled. That could have been a nice contrast to Lou because in the end none of the supporting characters were particularly memorable. They all just sort of fade off into the distance by the end and while that’s fine since the focus is on the lead, having one more really distinctive character would be good. In the end I’d say that the main police officer was the second best character as is. I liked how calm he was while munching on his snacks the whole time.

Overall, The Cheap Detective is definitely a very good film. I was super close to even giving it one more star but ultimately I would say a 7 is fair. It’s got a lot of replay value and a whole lot of great moments all throughout but in the end I would say it loses just enough steam not to make the jump to the next level. Either way I definitely recommend checking this film out. The more detective films you’ve seen over the years, the more you will get out of this one since it really does a thorough job of destroying the normal tropes.

Overall 7/10

The Thing with Two Heads Review

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It’s time to talk about this film which is definitely one of those titles that I really didn’t know about before watching it. It’s definitely not one that went on to win a lot of awards or anything like that but it embraces the absurdity of the whole story and ends up succeeding because of that. A certain car chase scene will either make or break the film for you though, that’s a guarantee!

The movie starts with Maxwell succeeding in his grand experiment to give a gorilla a second head through a surgical operation. This whole thing seems so crazy and yet it is now a reality. The real reason why he wanted to do this is so that he can put his head on another body since he is slowly dying. There ends up being a bit of a mixup though as the surgeons put Maxwell’s head on the body of Jack, an inmate who was sentenced to death. They wanted an inmate since the process will ultimately destroy the original host but Jack’s a little too smart for them. When he wakes up to find that he has an extra head, he breaks out and holds another doctor hostage, Dr. Fred. Now they are in a chase against the police. Even if Jack evades them, will his life ever be normal again?

There’s quite a lot to unpack right here. Lets put aside the fact that you can now remove someone’s head and put it on another body. That sounds pretty crazy but it’s the basis of the whole film so lets accept that as possible for now. There is a whole lot of plot convenience to Jack’s escape as he pretends to be asleep and then knocks out the staff but you’d think they’d be ready for that and have more security measures. Once he gets in the car though, that’s when things really get intense.

The police to their credit weren’t messing around. When they got the call that the convict was on the escape they basically sent the whole platoon of every officer in the state after him. We’re talking well over 40 police cars here and yet they all fall one by one to Jack. His car is just way more agile, nimble, and can hit those turns in a way that the police cars can’t as they all crash one on one.

The sequence goes on for an extraordinarily long time and like I said this is where the film will either lose you or you’ll be 100% on board. Personally I found the whole chase scene to be hilarious so this ended up helping the film in the end. Effectively this ended up making the film because it really got to embrace how hilarious the whole thing is. The same scenes just keep replaying like they were going out of style. I haven’t seen so much recycled footage in a very long time. that’s part of what makes it funny though even if it’s possibly a bit unintentional, it’s also fully possible that it was 100% intentional. We can’t rule that out.

In general the film has a lot of fun with the humor and I tend to enjoy the banter between Maxwell and Jack. See, a big part of the plot is that Maxwell is incredibly racist to the point where he tried to fire the new doctor Fred since he turned out to be black. Then when he’s merged with Jack….well he’s furious because Jack’s also black and so part of the dynamic is that Maxwell just can’t stand him. It’s to the point where Maxwell can’t even pretend to be nice to try and perform some kind of double cross. No, he’s as obvious as it gets the entire time.

Maxwell’s definitely the main villain of the film so the movie goes all in with making him as unlikable as possible. Meanwhile Jack’s a fairly calm guy who just wants to get out of this crazy predicament. He certainly never would have expected that he’d lose his body like this but he adjusts rather well. He doesn’t always make the smartest decisions like allowing Maxwell to knock him out but I guess as a scientist Maxwell would have a fairly strong will. Jack definitely has great skills with vehicles and escape though since he evaded all the cops.

There is a subplot about Jack saying that he’s innocent and trying to find the real criminal but that plot never goes anywhere so don’t worry about it. As for Fred, he’s hesitant to help the whole time so he spends most of the film waffling in the middle. Eventually he finally makes the big decision to be helpful though which was good. I feel like it should be an easy call to side with Jack in getting rid of Maxwell and restoring Jack’s body after all.

The cast is fairly small as those are really the main characters here. There are other scientist and you also have Jack’s girlfriend but for the most part the film is really focused around the main 3 here. They are the ones in the huge car chase scene after all and there isn’t really any room for the other characters. The film does throw an interesting misdirect at you with the gorilla that has 2 heads early on. Based on the title you’d expect that would have been the main plot so this was really a big shift. I got to watch the film without seeing the poster so that really helped to make the storyline a bit of a surprise.

I think it’s fair to say that the movie could have done more with the premise. Cut out the chase scene and throw in more dialogue and you would really have more opportunities for banter. That said, we still got a good amount here so I was satisfied. Honestly it’s the kind of film that I could definitely watch again because of how crazy it is so it’s got good replay value.

Overall, This is a pretty good movie. The plot certainly isn’t sound and you’ll find plot holes/conveniences throughout but the movie never forgets its sense of humor. There are a lot of good burns coming in from all the characters and you’ll have a good amount of laughs. Definitely check this out if the plot sounds intriguing to you. Not a whole lot happens technically since the plot goes on break for a while but you’ll still have a lot of fun either way.

Overall 7/10