Tag Archives: Drama

Delicious in Dungeon Review

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It’s time for a big food based manga that has gotten especially big lately with the show ongoing. Well, it’s definitely got a unique premise but given that it’s all about eating every monster possible, you can probably guess that this is not going to end well for the show. Even fans of cooking will probably have a hard time with this one since it’s not like you can actually copy most of these recipes but the series gets some props for sticking with the concept. Even to the end, cooking is always a primary focus of the series. Still ends up being a miss for me though.

The series starts with Laios and his party going through a dungeon when they are attacked by the legendary Red Dragon. Unfortunately it ends up eating Laios’ sister Falin and escapes. Half of Laios’ party disbands the remaining members are basically bankrupt. Laios doesn’t want to wait and go all the way out of the dungeon so he decides that they will just have to eat every monster they come across. Fortunately they meet up with a guy named Senshi who is an expert at cooking up monsters and he agrees to help. Is this really something Laios is doing out of desperation though or is using Falin as an excuse to eat monsters?

The series is fairly long with 14 volumes so you may wonder how all of that can be about finding Falin. Well, that’s not the whole plot. Things keep on going and you really have 2 main story arcs here. The second half takes a while for sure we the heroes have to learn more about what to do next and then work on their plans. The cast further expands here so there are a good number of characters to keep track of. The series also has a lot of world building which works well for including a bunch of characters into the mix.

As a little background here, the world connects to a massive dungeon that appears to get bigger and bigger every day. There is no upper limit to the dungeon and so people continue to go in and grab some money. You can use remains of animals to sell, different treasure chests, artifacts, etc. If you die in the dungeon then you have to hope that someone goes up to you and casts revive. Your soul is trapped when you are in the dungeon which is why you don’t die right away. On one hand that may sound good but on the other hand that also means it could very well be possible that you are stuck for all eternity. Jut think about that for a minute there, it’s not exactly a spot that you want to be in. It also means that several characters will die multiple times. Just because you can revive doesn’t mean that the pain goes away which is another thing to consider.

Basically what I am getting at is that living in this world feels really dangerous. You can just decide not to go into the dungeon and have a normal job but the series doesn’t go into that too much so it’s hard to say just how feasible that is. For all we know there are barely any jobs available so you would have to venture into the unknown anyway. Then you have the Elves who tend to be rather selfish and dangerous. They do not have your best interests at heart so you need to keep that in mind all the way and of course if you run into the mad mage then you may be put to sleep forever. Fighting between adventurers is completely forbidden but since when has that ever stopped anybody right? So you better keep your guard up at all times.

The art is pretty solid here. That doesn’t always work in the game’s favor but there is a lot of detail here at all times. The characters are easy to spot and while the series doesn’t have a ton of fight scenes, the action scenes that we get look pretty good. At most, some of the climax moments can be a little too cluttered with everyone running around but on the whole I would still say that things look good. The art is not a problem I have with the title.

So lets talk about the big issue right out of the gate which is naturally the animal violence. Yes a lot of these are fantasy creatures but we’re still watching the heroes slice and dice them to add onto a meal. This tends to be rather gross a lot of the time. A lot of these creatures also end up looking like real animals. It gets more and more twisted as some of the creatures get close to being humanoid. I thought that Marcille had a good point about at least drawing the line at humanoids but why would Laios listen to that? These are desperate times so it makes sense to do what you have to do but by the end everyone are eating various monsters.

So all of this eating is a big blow and that’s a main focus of the entire series so you’re not really going to be coming back from that. I usually like a lot of good food titles like Superman Meshi but this is one that I just couldn’t get behind. You would need to change the entire premise of the series to make this work or put them in a virtual world where these are just programs or something. By the end of the series it gets even more and more twisted about what’s being eaten. The whole climax is easily one of the most disturbing ones that I’ve read in a manga.

It’s not just about being eaten alive but how graphic and painful the whole thing is. The series is never afraid to be on the higher end of the violence side since characters can be brought to life. This is shown early on by the manor in which people die. They get stabbed or shot through the head and while they are revived later on, you feel like it’s a bit much. So just keep that in mind, this is a series that tends to be on the more extreme side in each aspect of the title.

Take away all of the animals and I would still have some problems there but yeah that’s got to be the biggest one here. I was rooting for Marcille and the various characters who didn’t want to eat these monsters to stay strong but ultimately they couldn’t. To an extent you may feel it’s no different from cooking actual animal so what’s the harm right? Well the first part is that cooking those after being hunted would destroy any series for me anyway, the monsters only dampens the blow to an extent but it all just feels wrong.

Part of the problem is how crazy Laios is. The more the series goes on, the crazier we see him become. The guy can barely contain just how twisted he is at different points and that’s really the main issue with him. I don’t like Laios as a character. He really does seem to be using Falin as an excuse half of the time. He’s super interested in trying out every monster, he basically wants to become one. This is mainly played off as a gag of course but he is still like this in the serious moments as well. So he’s not exactly the hero type and his twisted set of morals should have you concerned.

Marcille is easily the most likable member of the main crew. She has a rather intense backstory and really good reasons for wanting to save Falin. She’s the first friend that Marcille had after all. Yes, Falin also has her weird moments to be sure but on the whole she is a lot more normal than Laios. Marcille is always ready to do whatever she has to in order to save the day even if it means putting herself in danger so I can definitely applaud that. You want her on your side without a doubt. She makes a whole lot of sacrifices in order to get to the end and even her overall goal makes a lot of sense. Yes, she comes close to accepting a shortcut which wouldn’t work out so well in order to support her goals and dreams but you get why she would do this. So she’s an interesting character all the way.

Then you have Chillchuck who is a bit more jaded than the other characters and gets jaded a lot. He doesn’t have some grand master plan for the world and talks tough but at the end of the day he is here in the front lines fighting with everyone else to save Falin. So you can definitely give him a lot of credit too all the way through. He is good at avoiding traps and helping the heroes get through the dungeon so he is definitely really handy. Meanwhile Senshi may be the MVP for the group since without him they would have a hard time staying alive at all. While cutting up all of the monsters may not help the series as a whole, it definitely helped the main party conisderably.

Senshi has a ton of experience not just in cooking but surviving in general. He knows a lot of the different players in the dungeon and has formed strategic alliances that allow him to do what he does. Without him the heroes would have been murdered by the trolls, orcs, or other random creatures. Then you have Izutsumi who joins up later and is a solid addition. She has quick speed and can fight rather well thanks to her claws. She is cursed to be part cat which is tough in terms of having to live that way but it really comes in handy for fights which is what the main cast really needs in this situation. So that is definitely impressive and in general I liked her. She’s not going to fall for the usual illusions and traps that the others jump into.

As for Falin herself, I wouldn’t say that I was a big fan. She’s okay and seems like a nice enough person but she does suffer from a lot of the same issues as the main guy. It wasn’t great for Laios and she doesn’t fare any better either. If anything I would say the more she appears, the less normal she acts. I suppose because at that point everyone is a lot more familiar with her but she tends to be at her best when Laios is not around. Her abilities are certainly impressive though.

Then we have Namari and Shuro who I didn’t like because I consider them to be traitors. After Falin was taken out they both ditch the party. Yes, Shuro shows up to help later on but he makes a big fuss about the dark magic used to help Falin and is generally a pain in the neck. He doesn’t make things easier for the main characters at all and by making things tougher that just means that he’s in the way. Not a good look when you need everyone on deck right?? That’s what I thought! Namari is at least more sociable but it doesn’t change the fact that she ran off either. I still can’t forget that and it’s a really big deal. You can’t just run off, there is no coming back from that.

Kabru is easily one of the most interesting characters though. I’m not big on a certain plot twist he got in the end but for the most part he was a strategic figure who helped to add a little intensity to the plot. You never really knew hat he was thinking and he was a really good wild card. He kept all of the characters on their toes which is exactly what you would be expecting from a character like this. Kabru was always one step ahead of the other characters. He may not have had a great ending but I still enjoyed his character a lot and if anything he should have been the real main character.

Meanwhile the mad mage Sissel was a reasonably solid villain. I thought he had some reasonably solid goals and ambitions the whole time. He did start to get more and more unreasonable as the series went on though. I suppose you could say it was maybe because of the influences around him but that’s probably more of an excuse in the long run. This guy just couldn’t handle the power and didn’t think things through in the long run. That’s what really got him in the end. Still, this was a threat that made all of the heroes get up and pay attention which was nice to see. If anything they’re lucky that he didn’t press the attack more.

Then you have the main canary Mithrun who was a fun character. He’s seriously skilled and always goes for the lethal attacks in a fight. He desperately wants to stop Sissel but that’s hard since the whole dungeon obeys the mage. It’s really a one sided revenge tour since he doesn’t have much of a chance of really doing anything here. Still, he goes through a whole lot and is a likable character. The whole thing feels like he got the short end of the stick so you can feel bad for him there.

Finally there is the Winged Lion who is a very interesting character. His goals may not be as intense as Sissel’s but in a way that’s due to his nature. For the mot part he’s doing everything because he can, rather than having more of a specific ambition. He is absolutely able to play the long game though and has been strategizing for a very long time. He does a good job of manipulating characters so I give him a ton of credit there. Not just any character could manage to pull that off. He can also fight well so that’s another plus.

So the character cast here is pretty solid. While I had a lot of issues with the execution, I think the world building is pretty solid. For starters it is interesting to see a world where a dungeon is the primary source of income because of all the rare stuff in there. Death being suspended is definitely pretty cool since otherwise the body count would be massive. You’ve got the Elves and a bunch of kings running around as well to stir up some trouble. I would have liked some more fights between the factions but again this isn’t really an action series first and foremost. It’s more about the platforming and eating. We do get fights but they just aren’t the primary focus.

I still can’t help but think of how much better it would be if not for all of the animal stuff. Just have them eating off the land, lots of berries and things like that. That would have been so much better and would have made me proud. Seriously it would have been a really good idea al the way. Ah well, at the end of the day it is what it is. I can say that I will never forget the series, it really is quite memorable. Also while the humor around Laios doesn’t tend to land, the series does actually have some rather solid gags. I really enjoyed seeing the characters come to terms with how they’re seen by the rest of the party for example when they fight a bunch of shapeshifters. That was funny while also being very interesting. The characters tend to be very expressive and the series is rather light toned so there are lots of opportunities for fun scenes apart from everything being eaten.

Overall, This series definitely lives up to the name. There is a lot of food everywhere and the whole series does involve a dungeon so there is no clickbait here. Everything is as you’d expect it to be from the title except for the fact that none of the food actually looks delicious. The characters do say that it all tastes delicious though which I suppose is the important part even if I am super skeptical. So really if you can get behind all of the monster eating then this should be the story for you. If not, then consider this an experimental series that just can’t hold its own and give it a skip. There are enough good manga out there where you don’t have to force yourself to check this one out. Check out Superman vs Meshi as a good replacement.

Overall 3/10

Downhill Racer Review

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All right guys, it’s time for a film that had a lot of potential but didn’t quite stick the landing. This is a sports film at its core and usually those are a blast but this one ends up being rather boring at times. It’s a little too dragged out and you don’t really get to know as many of the supporting characters as you should. That would have made the film work a lot better and I also think that they chose the wrong sport for the moral that they wanted to use. I dare say that you will only really enjoy the experience if you really love the snow. Because you’re going to be seeing a whole lot of it!

The film starts off by introducing us to David, an up and coming skiing master. The guy is an expert at what he does to the point where it has really become his entire life. The guy lives and dreams skiing at all times. The thing is, he doesn’t have much time to think about anything or anyone else. He’s also no team player. He does what he wants when he wants which causes his relationships to go south. Can he truly become the best or is this just a recipe for disaster.

Okay here’s part of the problem, Skiing is truly a solo sport. There is basically no teamwork here because once you’re going down the mountain you can only depend on yourself. So I didn’t really understand the drama all that much. This moral works for basketball or baseball but for skiing? Yeah I don’t think so. It’s also not much of a moral based on how the film ends. In fact, it seems like David was right to be going it alone the whole time which is wild.

Yes, it did come at great sacrifice to his personal relationships but what does he care about those? He’s on his way to permanent success and he will have time for that later on. In fact, most of the best athletes have had to make tons of sacrifices over the years. Sure, you can definitely do it without being a jerk, that is 100% true. The problem is that we’re never really given a reason to show why David was wrong which makes the whole film a bit of a waste.

Also going back to the boring part…the film is incredibly slow. There are so many scenes that are just silent or without anything happening as you watch the skiing form. Again, I could see this being a big deal if you love skiing because then you have no distractions. It’s all just about how realistic the scenes are. If you’re here for the story though then these are massive breaks in the action. There are so many unnecessary scenes that exist just to pad out the length. I dare say you could shave 30 minutes off easily.

As the main character I do like the type of character David represents. He’s the natural prodigy who is incredibly overconfident. He thinks that he is the absolute best guy to ever be on the ice and to a large extent his confidence is justified. The guy is breaking records and doing really well but he lets this go to his head and starts biting off more than he can chew and ignoring everyone. He crashes out during one of his first races because he refused to listen.

So yes that ties into the overall message of needing to have teamwork but it’s a bit loose. Also David constantly has excuses which I do think weakens his arguments. He blames the snow for being too wet and his placement in a race rather than blaming his own lack of ability. He doesn’t own up to any of his failings which is a horrible habit for an athlete. You can’t get better if you think that you are already perfect after all.

Then as the film goes on he gets more and more desperate to break into the top spots even if it means attacking someone on the snow. He’s practically an antagonist at some points depending on how you look at it. Ultimately he does start to get the lesson a little bit although I would argue that he doesn’t fundamentally change much at all compared to the beginning. In a way his talent was just so good that he can get away with this which is in itself a reasonable lesson because it’s true that the more talent you have, the more things you can get away with. It doesn’t exactly make for great cinema but I think with the proper writing it can be a very compelling story.

So it’s possible that maybe I’m just not all that into skiing. I want to at least acknowledge the possibility that it’s not the film doing a poor job of showing the sport but it could be that it just went over my head. All I know is that I wasn’t very engaged the whole time. The romance is also on the weak side even if that’s part of the point for a while there. David has no time for such things even if he thinks that he does and this comes back to bite him several times. He really did have to sacrifice everything for the win. Was it worth it? That would be a good plot for the sequel because the film ends before we really get the answer to that.

Overall, Perhaps I am a bit harsh on Downhill Racer but I don’t think so. This could have easily been a more entertaining film if they tried harder. I tend to like sport movies but this one just wasn’t going anywhere. I think one big thing would be to make the rest of the team members have more personality and screen time. Really build into the rivalry between all of them and that could have helped the film find its legs. It’s not a bad film, I wouldn’t say it makes any real mistakes outside of the pacing so you won’t have a bad time watching this film but it really has no reason to be this long. It just doesn’t make sense. Ironically I think the non sport scenes may have beaten the actual on the ground action since that’s when we actually get to see more of the interactions with David and the team as well as the day to day life parts. Although if we stayed on that it wouldn’t help make the film more exciting either so to really fix it you would need a bigger change.

Overall 5/10

The Land That Time Forgot Review

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It’s time for a dinosaur film with a group of people having to try and get along. You can probably guess how the latter goes but surprisingly the dinosaurs themselves don’t do much for a majority of the film. If anything it’s more about the cave people who tend to generally be annoying. Unfortunately this film uses time travel in the opposite way of how you would want it to be used. Ideally you always want to go to the future with lots of cool gadgets and awesome concepts. Instead it ended up going to the past which is not the direction you want to go. There just aren’t nearly as many possibilities to be had there.

The movie starts with a ship being destroyed and so only a few of the passengers manage to survive. They are able to use their quick wits to take over an enemy submarine though and after a lot of in-fighting they manage to get the ship landed on a mysterious island. This island is like something out of the prehistoric age. There are dinosaurs around, cave people, and basically no sign of modern civilization. This could spell trouble or the heroes could adapt to the place. They will need some oil in order to get the ship operational again but will they be able to survive long enough to do so? It will all come down to whether this group of adventurers can get along with each other.

Now I am poking fun at the idea of these guys all working together and that’s because there are a lot of reasons to hold grudges with each other. Half of the crew are British and the other half are German and they would quickly murder each other if given the chance. The Germans are the ones who blew up the British ship at the start and then now they were being held hostage. So resentment is quite high and they will only work together for as long as is necessary. If either side shows any sign of weakness then it is absolutely game over. There will be no coming back from that.

That’s why true teamwork just won’t work here. Yes a shared goal may sound like it’s enough but not when you know that the person behind you wants to absolutely destroy you as soon as possible. That just means you have to watch yourself carefully at all times. You don’t actually trust the person standing right next to you. In the film we see constant betrayals and the main group keeps on getting whittled down. Realistically if they were one tight unit then the film would have been over rather quickly. They would have easily been able to defend themselves from the dinosaurs, fight off the cave people, and get their oil. Instead all the bickering and arguing slowed them down a little too much.

The dinosaurs that we do see get to have some action and fights but they didn’t help the film. For one thing, the dinosaurs are not bullet proof at all so they’re getting riddled with bullets the whole time and dying. Their first death scene even takes forever which has one of the characters comment on it. It’s just a little rough to be seeing the dinosaur getting absolutely dominated like that. Typically you would expect them to be the scary antagonists right? Sure they do still scare everyone but you can’t take it quite as seriously as long as the guns are around.

So what you have is some extra animal violence here and that’s not even considering the dinosaur vs dinosaur fights. I would definitely recommend cutting the dinosaurs out of the film entirely since they don’t change much. That or just keep them in the background since the designs themselves weren’t bad. Meanwhile what also hurts the film generally are the cave people. Naturally it is hard to have a conversation with them due to the language barrier and so those scenes tend to drag on. We didn’t need the brief fanservice by showing us how the egg work with the tribe jumping into the pool and generally this is why I don’t care much for the past. It was less sophisticated and doesn’t end up being as entertaining.

Whenever the main characters were getting defeated I would be shaking my head. Yeah these cave people would be tough in close quarters combat but why take so long to ready your gun? Half the time the heroes were using the gun like a baseball bat rather than as a projectile. That’s definitely the way to lose a fight, it’s certainly not going to help you win one. I can guarantee you that! At least one guy remembered to flip the opponent and use his momentum against him. The rest were picked off like novices.

One thing I will give the film is that the writing is still pretty good. I at least liked the attempts at teamwork and there was some good banter here. Yeah you knew that the alliance was doomed but getting to that point was still written very well. It wasn’t like the characters were written out of character or that it was all contrived. I thought it was fairly realistic as to how this could all play out without diminishing the intelligence of any of the characters. So I definitely appreciated that.

Overall, The Land That Time Forgot is a film that’s not very good and large part it is due to the premise. I don’t think there’s a lot you can do about a movie going back to the olden days. It felt like the writers more or less knew what they were doing and they couldn’t save the concept. Even aside from the animal violence and the characters being more on the annoying side, I think the biggest issue was that the film could be rather boring at times. It feels long as you’re going through the movie and it would have been so much better if no such island ever showed up. Have the tension be about the characters needing to survive on a week’s worth of supplies with both sides getting more and more anxious about the situation. If you do that then I would argue that the whole movie would work a lot better. I know it is a completely different movie at that point though so for better or worse, that’s the way I can see to save this film. But hey it could have been a whole lot worse to be honest.

Overall 4/10

Millennium Snow Review

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It’s time for a romance series that I had definitely never heard of before. It’s got vampires in it so you already know that the series is setting off some alarm bells for me. Well, in the end it wasn’t that bad but I don’t think there is really much to it. The characters never end up being all that great and it gets really rushed by the end. There was definitely a lot more they could have done with the concept.

The series starts by introducing us to Chiyuki who is very sickly. In fact she is close to death and just barely survives thanks to being bit by a vampire named Toya. He didn’t want to do this since he doesn’t believe in biting people or draining blood but it was an emergency. So now he watches over her to make sure that she doesn’t die too quick and then he will head off to another location. Chiyuki now wants him to fully convert her into a vampire so she can live for 1000 years and finally have good health. Can she convince him to drain her though?

You can probably already guess that I’m not a big fan of that part of the plot. I actually think it’s impressive that Toya refuses to drain anybody and he just allows himself to always be in a weakened state. He’s kept a strong will about this and so it’s too bad that Chiyuki is trying to crack him here. In a way you could say the series is sort of using this as a metaphor and either way it doesn’t make for a great romance plot here. Yeah Chiyuki likes Toya but how much of that is because her life is depending on this? She will only be able to live a long and healthy life if she is turned into a vampire. It’s not a great dynamic there but at least the series does avoid any rebounds this way.

Still, the romance didn’t really work out for me. Then we have the art which is a little on the rougher side. I won’t say that it’s bad or anything like that but it could stand to be smoother or more streamlined. It’s not as good as the average manga is what I would say there. Mix that in with the main character cast already being underwhelming and you can see how this is not a title that would end up competing with the heavy hitters. I can see why it isn’t very well known.

The best character here is probably Kaede even though she showed up fairly late in the adventure. She has always been a very lonely girl who had no friends and this leads to her raising up an animal spirit. Unfortunately she didn’t realize that the words she was feeding it weren’t really doing any good but the fact that she cared about the creature is the important thing. She didn’t get to contribute much to the story but it was always good to see her in the last chapters after she made her debut.

As the main heroine, I would say that Chiyuki stands out a bit for being more unique compared to how you would expect her to be. After all the whole trying to have the main guy make a move is already a bit different and she’s the aggressive one trying to pressure Toya instead of the other way around. I tend to like confident characters so in most cases this would have been an instant win but since in this case it was like her pressuring him into something that he just didn’t want to do, she ended up losing points instead.

As for Toya, he’s not that great either because of his generally low levels of confidence and how he just doesn’t use his abilities well. He has a tough time in multiple situations and you have to remember that he can stop time and do all sorts of cool stuff. So it feels like he is playing the matchup wrong and holding himself back which are massive mistakes to be made here. His rival Ariyoshi’s not much better. This guy is a wolf so he also has some superhuman abilities but at the same time his big weakness is really that he is a big flirt. So he is more outgoing and tough but but the flirty nature holds him back quite a lot. He has a fairly intense backstory and you feel bad for him but he definitely didn’t handle things well.

He’s still better than Kei though. Kei is Chiyuki’s overprotective cousin who gets really extreme like when he locks her in a room. The guy is meant to be sympathetic but he goes way too far so that just is not an option by the end. You’re just rooting for his downfall the whole time. Fortunately he doesn’t appear much but the guy is super petty. Another villain without much screentime is Luis. He shows up near the very end of the series and I feel like there wasn’t much point to his whole character. There’s just no time left in the story for him and when he shows up he is sickly as well so he is quickly written out anyway. It was to add a little danger but the whole thing felt rather force and everyone treated him too well. I don’t care that he’s on his deathbed, he was attacking the main heroine so he’s got to go. It’s not that complicated.

I did like Toya’s attendant Yami though. He was a loyal friend who was always ready to help even if Toya isn’t the easiest guy to work for. Yami may act like a kid most of the time but if anything it feels like he is probably more mature most of the time. So I definitely give him a lot of credit. That about wraps it up for the characters. That’s probably a good thing since we’ve only got 4 volumes to deal with and more characters would mean that things are even more scattered.

Ultimately the series’ weakness is really that it did not get to excel at anything. If any aspect could have been really solid then that would have helped the whole series out but it didn’t really have anything like that. For example there aren’t really any funny gags or comedic characters to help carry the slice of life stuff. Generally I would consider this to be more of a drama. There are a lot of big facial expressions and the series is generally light hearted but I wouldn’t say that it’s very funny. Some good humor would have gone a long way here too so that’s really a shame.

Overall, Millennium Snow is a little below average I’d say. It’s not really a manga that I would spend much time thinking about later on, nor do I think it’ll get a re read at any point in the future. The characters are weak and the art doesn’t help to save it. If you’re looking for a title where there are vampires but not a lot of blood sucking then at least it beats the average there but nah in the end I would have to give this one a thumbs down. It should have either focused a bit more on the romance without throwing in a bunch of side characters and a random villain or it should have just doubled down on action. In the end there just wasn’t much time to do anything and it felt like the series was really lacking direction.

Overall 4/10

Safe in Hell Review

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When you’ve got a title like this you already know that the main character’s probably stuck in a rather tricky situation. It’s definitely a film where the heroine has to go through a whole lot. There definitely is a lot of tension but I can’t say that it’s the kind that really helps to elevate a film. Ultimately there are very few likable characters here at all and it’s always hard for a film to really survive that.

So the movie starts off with introducing us to Gilda who has had a rough time of things. She has not been able to hold down a steady job for a long time due to one guy who basically blackmailed her into an affair and then his wife found out. So Gilda was blackballed from every industry and ended up becoming a lady of the night. Well, one day that guy returns and Gilda accidentally murders him in self defense. Her boyfriend Carl shows up just in time to save her from the police. While he’s not thrilled about what Gilda has been doing, he takes her to an island to hide from the cops for a while. He’ll go figure something out but she’ll have to stay on the island for at least a month. That wouldn’t be so bad except…this is an island inhabited by a bunch of criminals and degenerated and they’ve all got their sights on her. Can Gilda remain faithful amidst all this temptation and can she even remain safe?

So now you can see how none of the characters are particularly likable. They’re all just throwing themselves at her the whole time despite knowing that she is already with a guy. None of them have much in the way of class at all. Of course some are worse than others. The worst of which is a guy who shows up at the island later on after a plot twist. Definitely the kind of villain you don’t want the heroine to go easy on. Just bump him off and everyone will be happier off for it. He’s the kind of villain who actively brings down the quality of the movie.

Another thing that brings it down is the ending though. It’ really a rough way to go out and I definitely prefer for a movie to have an ending with a bit more hope. You basically have to stomach the fact that the villains won in the end. Perhaps not in all the ways they wanted but they still got a win which is absolutely undeserved. I get the feeling that the film didn’t want Gilda to have a happy ending after the mistakes she made but they were all under rather drastic circumstances. She’s certainly not without fault but is nowhere in the same league as the other characters. The whole film just doesn’t feel all that fair to her at all.

I’d argue Carl should absorb some of the blame here. He ditches her for months at a time on his job which always leaves her to fend for herself. Yeah Carl’s a sailor so he’s gone a lot but it seems like there is absolutely no way to reach him. So when Gilda was out of a job with no hope in the beginning, there was no way to reach Carl. Then when she was stuck on the island, there was no way to contact him easily again. She is constantly left on her own in the absolute worst circumstances. Now she does send a letter later on so there is at least a way to eventually reach him. Maybe she should have trusted him a bit more and reached out sooner but I get why she figured she had to stick it out. Ultimately she does still get more of the blame because she didn’t trust Carl when it counted. Sometimes trying to stick something out by yourself doesn’t work, particularly in a realistic setting like this.

So if she has to have a bad end, then that should apply to the rest of the characters. At least Bruno who ends up being just as demented as the other characters. In fact he was the second worst beyond the first guy. Nothing happening to him is really a shame. It’s like the film could have used an extra segment at the end. It is really short as it stands, the film is barely over an hour. So maybe extend this to 90 minutes and have an epilogue where various characters are taken out. Have a big revenge scene where Carl shows up and blows everyone away.

You could also have just included the moral of trusting him at the end. Instead of doing the false confession to get executed, have her make her speech which is when Carl shows up. Maybe have one of the other hotel guests reveal that he saw the whole thing with her being handed the gun. There are so many ways you could have written around the ending to have her actually make it out of there in one piece and given Bruno the chair instead.

Overall, Safe in Hell is definitely a pretty awful film. It’s one of those never ending stories of misery the whole time with a bad ending to boot. None of the characters do anything to actually help Gilda out which is where the film really fumbles the landing. With this kind of premise you’d assume that by the end most of the guys would actually be decent and would end up defending her. Maybe bumping off the corrupt cops or just lying about the whole thing when the real authorities get there. Just about any of those endings would have been more appreciated. Instead Gilda is consistently punished for her use of self defense in what I would call the most valid situations to use it. Definitely stay as far away from this film as possible!

Overall 2/10

The Man Who Watched Trains Go By Review

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It’s time for a film with a pretty awful main character. I think he got off way too easy the whole time which definitely hurts this one a bit but you’ll stay engaged throughout the adventure. The film’s not super long or anything so it goes by quickly and it doesn’t make a lot of mistakes. A better main character would have absolutely taken the experience to the next level though.

The film starts off by introducing us to Kees who has worked hard as a Clerk for many years. He’s really been hoping that some day he could get a promotion and move up a bit considering all of his loyalty. Well, his plans are dashed when his boss decides to run off with all of the money and basically doom Kees. Well, Kees has had enough of that and he murders the guy. Granted, he wasn’t intending to murder him initially although he was approaching that guy in a threatening manner but the boss falls into the ocean and Kees doesn’t help him. Now Kees has a briefcase filled with lots of money and he can finally live out the adventurous life that he has always wanted. His first stop is to meet up with the lady that the boss was running away with and have an affair.

For context, keep in mind that this guy is married with kids so right off the bat we know that he has no morals here. A life of adventure is all fine and well as a family, like if he had decided to travel with them using the stolen money then you can at least be sympathetic since a lot of the stolen money would have turned into his salary in the future. By doing this and betraying his family you have no sympathy for the guy. The film keeps showing how this guy is a total amateur when it comes to living a life of crime but it’s not like that’s going to have you feel bad for him. No, instead you’re just shaking your head and waiting for him to get his.

At times it feels like Kees is also stacking the deck against himself. A main supporting character is Lucas, who is a detective on the case. They bump into each other a lot and Kees makes himself look incredibly suspicious in every single encounter. In a way you feel more annoyed for Lucas than anything though as the guy absolutely suspects what is going on but just has no proof to confirm it. It’s not like he can just arrest Kees after all. He’s got to go through the process and everything.

Lucas is my favorite character though. He’s at least trying to do the right thing and is very persistent. Just about every other character in the film is really an antagonist so you want him to just arrest everybody. Back to Kees though, he’s just really annoying to follow as a character. He is so desperate to finally have adventure that he basically thinks the main villainess will get together with him just because he has a lot of money now. He’s extremely lucky that she didn’t have him bumped off early on. Kees doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who can stay strong when getting beat up either so I think he would crack right away.

It seemed like a stretch to be playing the long game here. Michele is a big villain here of course but she’s always been a villain which is why I have more respect for her than Kees. At least she has some dignity and does well in her long term planning. There’s not a lot that I can say to really defend Kees in contrast to that. Meanwhile Louis is another guy who likes Michele and he’s always ready to use violence to solve his problems. Michele has to save Kees from him on several occasions but again I think this was a strategic blunder. Louis would have gotten the answer out of Kees with ease.

Kees is only a tough guy when confronted with someone who can’t fight back. He gets tough with Michele at some points when he’s not being obviously manipulated but Louis would take him down easily. I would have liked to have gotten some closure with his family back home since they really vanish after the opening scenes. If they were portrayed as more antagonistic then that would have maybe helped Kees be a bit more sympathetic but it didn’t work for me. I feel like the film was at least trying to go for that angle but ultimately I did not think that they succeeded here.

Still, the premise was good so I think it would be easy to do a remake of this film that’s actually fairly solid. For starters, he should be a novice at being a criminal but shouldn’t be absolutely helpless. Don’t have him dash towards the villainess hoping to score when there is no reason why he should. It would make much more sense for him to be spending the money a little too loosely when treating himself to some foods and then the villain approaches him. After that he gets suckered of course but at least keeps some dignity. Ultimately it won’t save the character since he’ll still be annoying, but not as bad and that will help the film by extension.

If you are going to go this route though, then you have to make Kees meet a tough end. He absolutely should have been bumped off or scolded a bit more about deserting his family. I’d argue he shouldn’t have gotten any wins by the end either. He should have been outsmarted and then arrested to show how he was not able to keep up with the career criminals. That would have really been a good way to make the story go full circle.

Overall, The movie has a fairly interesting plot about an average guy becoming a big criminal by being in the wrong place at the wrong time but the execution wasn’t totally on point. I think it loses a bit of steam with how utterly corrupt Kees was from the start. Honestly a huge change that would have helped would have been for him not to have a family. That would have even tied well with his not really having much of a life and wasting it all on the job. It could actually make him a whole lot more sympathetic, but that’s just how it goes sometimes I suppose. In some ways I found the opening scenes before the boss died to be the most interesting and having the whole film take place in town could have been more fun. Like Kees has a ton of money and has to spend it carefully without letting anyone know that he’s rich. That would have been pretty interesting.

Overall 5/10

Miracle

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It’s time for a hockey movie about one of the most legendary games of all time within the sport. I don’t really follow Hockey all that much at all and hadn’t heard of this big battle before so that makes watching the movie even more fun. It’s really all new content for me and I feel like I know a whole lot about what happened from this film. It really covers a lot of ground and I appreciate that.

The movie starts with the coach being picked for the USA team that will participate in the Olympics. In a way he has been waiting for this opportunity his whole life and so he is determined to do well. The Olympics only happen every 4 years after all and there is no guarantee that you will get a second chance. So he figures that he will do things his way. This means selecting all of the players personally without going through a hiring committee and additionally he will be putting them through the wringer. He intends to push each player to their breaking point and take their skills to new heights. The risk of this though is you get an increased chance of injury. Balancing the load will ultimately make the difference between victory and defeat.

One of the main themes in the film is about playing for the country as opposed to looking out for yourself. Initially just about all of the players were thinking about this as a normal game and trying to do their best but gradually they realize just what is at stake here. It’s a big honor to win the Olympic for your country and losing is a really big deal. The coach ends up having to scare them a few times to get their heads on straight but eventually the message gets through. Having that national identity is important in order to get your skills to the next level.

Meanwhile the media is doing their best to stir things up as well so you have people trying to make this into a pseudo war of sorts. Like defeating Russia in Hockey will turn into a physical victory against them and the coach is trying his best to keep that from happening. So he blocks the interviews which annoys the press but there’s not much they can do about it. I feel like nowadays you’d probably gets a lot of fines for that since you’re pretty much forced to talk to the press all the time but I’m glad he was able to stop that. At the end of the day, in most cases the questions you are asked aren’t actually that helpful and they’re just looking for some buzzwords. So it’s a lose-lose situation if you play along.

The film’s probably at its weakest when there is no hockey happening though. We get some drama between the coach and his wife for a while there which was more on the annoying side. They end up patching things back together but it felt like that plot was more on the unnecessary side. Of course this is based on true events so if that actually happened then I suppose you have to include it. Otherwise, it just felt like the coach could have handled things better at the jump and then there wouldn’t have been any problems.

The actual hockey scenes are handled really well. You feel the intensity of every play as the players get into the action. Nobody is backing down and the sport has always been one of the more physical ones in real life. So add the cinematic angles to it and this flows together really well. The final game is also really long which is nice. If I had any complaints here, it’s that we didn’t get to see the final round. I know the Miracle moment was really about the semi finals round but still give me a little glimpse of the round after that.

The film’s use of real recordings and clips during the adventure was also a good way to get the realism across. There was certainly a lot going on at the time and the film makes sure that you are aware of this even while the coach has to actively try and ignore all of this so that he can focus on the team. Crazy things may be happening but what he needs to do is deliver a win and the rest will come into place eventually.

Overall, Miracle is a pretty solid film. It’s long enough where it really gets to go into detail on the various games and on each individual player as they prepare for this event. Sports are certainly not easy and you can multiply that amount of difficulty many times over for an event as big as the Olympics. When you are competing in world championships like this, there are certainly no easy matches. If you enjoy Hockey or just like seeing a good movie about teamwork then this is a solid title to check out.

One Touch of Venus Review

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It’s time for a romance musical film. The latter doesn’t really become an element for a while but you can be sure that the romance is here from the jump. It’s a pretty interesting scenario since it’s sort of like the classic wish fulfillment scenario but with the main character trying his best to get out of it. He looks rather awful in this movie to be honest but there are some decent laughs to be had here. Is it a good movie though?…wellllllllllll I’d probably have to say no on that.

The movie starts off with Savory being really excited to show the world the giant Venus statue that he got. He ordered it a long time ago and put a fortune into obtaining it. Unfortunately the curtain on the display isn’t working so he sends one of his employees over to fix it before the unveiling. This employee’s name is Hatch and he’s not very talented, smart, or reasonable. He also gets drunk extremely easily. So Hatch does some drinking on the job and decides to kiss the statue before fixing the curtain. What he doesn’t realize is that he has just awakened the goddess of love, Venus up from her slumber. Venus is now ready to enjoy life and has fallen in love with Hatch. The problem is that Hatch is super afraid of her and now the boss believes that he has stolen the statue.

Hatch is an annoying character from the jump. First off, he has a girlfriend in Gloria already but the guy keeps her distant because he doesn’t want to get married. If you just started dating then sure it’s probably good to get to know each other for a while before you’re married. Date for a few months or something and then you’re all good. The problem here is that it feels more like Hatch is just scared of commitment and instead of having an honest conversation with Gloria about it, his first instinct is to just run. Not a very responsible or mature thing to do right?

He does the same thing with Venus. He literally faints the first time and then after that he spends most of the film panicking and running around. If he was at least 100% dedicated to Gloria and was just trying to reject Venus then that would be one thing but he still weakens in several instances which just makes him look really bad. Yes, Venus does passively increase the desire of love within everyone she is around but you need to be able to resist those abilities with your willpower. I don’t accept any excuses in this kind of thing. You either stay strong or you don’t, I’m afraid there is no middle ground here.

Savory may be one of the antagonists here but he has a lot more flair than Hatch. When he meets Venus he does his best to impress her to the point of appearing desperate. He is quick to help others out and yeah he’s not exactly a superhero but he seems like a reasonable guy. I know with the Molly subplot he could be a bit oblivious but she wasn’t super direct either so I’d put that on both of them 50/50. You even feel bad for him a bit when Venus is obviously using him by the end. She didn’t need to do all that but of course at the end of the day it’s on him for falling for that.

Molly gets a fairly happy ending though. I was glad that at the end she wasn’t going to throw Hatch under the bus during the big misunderstanding. At the end of the day she is a good person with her own standards. She may have been a bit too cold and cryptic to the point of sabotaging herself for a while there but she was fun to root for. She always had a few cold one liners at the ready to toss around.

Venus is possibly a big antagonist depending on how much control you think she has over her love abilities. If she is pro actively trying to get Gloria and Joe together so she has Hatch then of course that is antagonist behavior. If it’s more passive then that’s not as bad. The film hints to the former though, particularly since she can use her other abilities at will. She is quite powerful in this film as she can really do anything that her heart desires. Quite a fun ability, I think anyone would really agree to that.

She is willing to charm her way to victory and use people though which is always a trait that I dislike in any character. Her overall confidence is fun enough but the manipulation isn’t cool. So yeah I wasn’t rooting for her here since the whole romance wasn’t build upon great circumstances from the start and she could have used her powers for a lot of better purposes. I wasn’t a big fan of Gloria either though since she rebounded with Joe so quickly. Yeah they’re both possibly being influenced and all but you have to fight it.

Gloria has a boyfriend and Joe’s the guy’s friend. These are both massive taboos so you can’t just ignore that when you feel like it. No sirrrrrr, that was not a good move. That whole subplot is pretty sad whenever it shows up on screen so the romance as a whole is lacking like I mentioned. The film is at its best when it’s embracing the craziness of the whole situation. Every time Hatch would break past the cops I was having a of fun there. It’s silly and over the top but it’s charming with no strings attached.

It made for some decent chase scenes. I also generally enjoyed Venus and Hatch running around and having to hide from everyone. Yeah it’s a bit cheesy but again this is what the film should have been like the whole time. It takes itself so seriously despite the outlandish plot and this being a musical. Also, the songs aren’t all that good. None of them stand out at all and that’s my main problem with a lot of old school music like this. They tend to sound the same and aren’t fast paced or action enough to really take the movie to the next level. There aren’t a ton of songs compared to other musicals though so even if you don’t like musicals then you should be okay as long as you enjoy the story.

Overall, One Touch of Venus is an interesting film. It can be a little funny to see Hatch just panicking and fumbling the bag in every instance. He always finds a way to get himself into bigger and bigger trouble by making himself sound crazy. At the same time, it does mean that he can also be a really annoying main character. It’s hard to root for someone who is his own worst enemy. The film doesn’t drag on though and for the most part it is fun. So I’m leaving it at the midway point here. It’s good enough where you won’t be bored or anything while watching it but at the same time it’s not like you can really root for any of the romances and the characters are all mainly annoying.

Overall 5/10

The Time Travelers Review

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It’s time for a movie that’s definitely more on the disappointing side. It’s not like I had massive hopes for it or anything like that but a film about time travel should always be exciting. Instead this one was just more of a let down. A lot of the time there was nothing going on in the movie and it felt like the story was constantly stalling for time. That is absolutely not the right way to make a good impression and so even the ending doesn’t land as well as it should have.

The film starts with a bunch of scientists working on their time device. They want to be able to peer into different time periods but they are using up a lot of energy and have no results. Danny is sent in there to tell them to cut it out but they try one more test. This time it works, only better than they expected. The “window” doesn’t just let them view other times, it actually lets them jump in as well. Now they are all trapped in the future with no way to get home. This is already bad but it turns out that the world is about to end. They will have to rely on the help of other scientists from the future who are rather suspicious.

The story sounds a lot more interesting than it actually is. You’ve got a whole race of brutes running across the planet and then you have “Deviants” who are part brute, part human. Stuff happened along with the mass bombing of the planet that caused people to not develop so much and this really split humanity. There’s a story somewhere in here about rebelling against this tyranny but there’s just no time. We already missed the collapse of modern civilization and these are the last scientists on the planet either way.

The brutes are also surprisingly weak. Guess how the main characters get them to go away…..they throw rocks at them. Yeah this is enough to make them retreat. It really makes no sense no matter how the film tries to spin it. I couldn’t believe how the whole crowd backed off from the main fighters because of this. There are some action scenes once in a while during the movie but never for long. You don’t need this for a time travel movie but at the same time it means that I couldn’t really take the villains all that seriously.

Then we also have some random fanservice near the middle of the movie. The scene has absolutely no point being in here and you could say that about quite a few other scenes. The film takes us through the long process of building and fixing androids. I imagine they will have been doing this for a very long time because these androids are super flimsy. I’d trust Flippy the modern burger A.I. over some of these things. The brutes destroy them with ease. Couldn’t the scientists have taught the robots to throw rocks or something?

Now in part this is a problem with the film being so old but the so called high tech civilization don’t really feel that advanced. They’re also not very reasonable but that’s just human nature so I could roll with that. The only thing I will defend them on is not wanting to alter the plan to leave the planet. They already spent years getting the perfect window set up and it’s reasonable to assume that they would be obliterated by the villains if they stay for much longer. So it sucks for the main scientists but they can’t exactly wait for them.

This could all be very fascinating if you didn’t have to sit through 20 minutes of comedy music while the heroes walk around the base doing nothing. It felt like the script for this film was only around 30 minutes so they really had to stretch this for as long as possible. Not a good idea by any stretch of the imagination. Again, the story itself is very interesting but it was executed in the worst way possible. The film’s biggest error is really that it can just get rather boring at times. That shouldn’t be possible for a time travel film. It should be extremely engaging and fascinating the whole time.

The pacing is just so bad. The film’s not even very long but it sure feels like a lengthy epic as a result of the decisions made here. I was shaking my head the whole time. Lets quickly list the cool concepts the movie had that weren’t explored much at all. 1. The warring factions with the brutes, 2. The poor guy in the middle of this who is shunned by humans and monsters. How did he even break into the ship? 3. The guy who was trigger happy from the future scientists. I felt like he was going to get a much bigger role, etc. There was a ton of meat left on the table for this movie.

The only part of the film that I will give some decent credit for being original is the ending. Sure, it’s something you may have seen before in some way or another but it’s not an option that tends to be picked. So actually seeing this ending was pretty fun and makes a whole lot of sense. It all depends on the rules for time travel that the verse picks but this is one that’s always interesting and works to prevent any kind of a paradox. The ending alone isn’t worth watching the film of course but if you are intrigued, this could help enhance the movie just a little bit.

Overall, The Time Travelers is not a very good film. It spends way too much time on filler moments and not actually advancing the plot. Every time the heroes would take a break to just marvel at the future I would get annoyed. Particularly since none of the stuff was all that impressive either. None of the characters really stand out either and the film’s weak attempt at a romance here falls flat. Yeah you’re really not missing much by skipping this film. It will ultimately stay forgotten.

Overall 4/10

My Blue Heaven Review

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All right it’s time for another retro film as we go way back to 1950 on this one. It’s an old school musical with a whole lot of songs so you don’t have to worry about running out of those. Unfortunately the main character loses a lot of points by the end and the characters definitely don’t always make the right moves.

The movie starts with Kitty and Jack having a big celebration because they are finally having a kid. Everything is looking really good until they are in a car crash and Kitty loses the baby. Now her only option is adoption but the orphanage doesn’t think people in the TV business like Kitty and Jack would make for good parents. They need to find some way to get a kid though but what can they do. What even are their options at this point? One thing’s for sure, if they get too desperate they may end up getting into trouble.

I can see why it would be a bit of a tougher sell for the orphanage on a couple like Kitty and Jack who both work. Especially back in 1950 when this was far less common. It would mean they would need to hire a baby sitter and as we saw later in the film, that’s not always a good option. So the orphanage may have been onto something at least to a small percent although of course the main couple actually was responsible. They just didn’t leave a great first impression.

Where they got a bit too desperate was when they decided to do this behind the books. They went to some shady people at the back of a restaurant and ignored a ton of red flags in order to take the baby. Jack in particular messed up on this one since they had been leaving when his willpower weakened. The film mainly tries to dodge this plot for later on with an easy resolution when that could have really gone sideways.

Jack’s biggest mistake was cheating on Kitty with a younger actress known as Gloria. That whole scene was crazy and completely dooms his character. The fact that he wasn’t even fighting by the end and seemed eager for more before Kitty walked in was just sad. Yeah he got his excuses lined up and we can assume it’s all happily ever after but it’s just unfortunate how he proved all of the friends and neighbors right. They figured he couldn’t be trusted by himself and well, he couldn’t. The guy was practically encouraging Gloria by the end.

So yeah he looks pretty bad throughout. Kitty fares better in the film but has her own share of issues like when she allows the hired help to boss her around. Kitty brought in a nurse for when she has to go to work but she lets this person boss her around during the day to the point where she isn’t allowed to hold her own baby? That makes absolutely no sense, it’s just completely backwards. Yeah that’s not very smart and at least eventually she fired that person.

The main cast is rather small but there are a few supporting characters. The main two important ones would be the other couple who are always around to cause some trouble. Whether it’s by finding shady deals for more babies or throwing a party which doomed the odds for the first try, something is always going on here. They don’t always have a lot of tact and the party going on for so long is part of why the main duo crashes in the first place. Technically this influence ended up being a net negative for the main characters.

One thing that doesn’t really help the film is that none of the music is all that good. It’s a big contrast to the writing where I tend to enjoy older films for how the writing style was but I tend to dislike or be generally indifferent to older style music. Give me concert type films over musicals any day as those tend to have a lot more life to them. At the end of the day this one really could not keep up. I won’t really remember any of the tunes by the next day.

The baby scenes don’t really do anything for me in terms of helping the film or being funny so the film has to try and have a blast around those moments. The dog was nice though and always good to see. Whenever a pet appears in a film without an action context or anything then I can generally be assured that it’s going to enhance the movie. There should be no risk of anything negative happening to the pup after all. I also appreciated the maid who was a fun character. Honestly she got the roughest bit of things because the characters were never really being all that nice to her or embracing he positive energy that she was throwing out. That’s definitely something that they need to work on.

If I could do something differently here, it’s that I would have focused more on the main characters’ radio career. I think those shows have a lot of potential to them, far more than the TV versions. On the radio it’s all audio so no reason to be running around with all these big productions. Instead it’s more about telling a good story and being dramatic. The opening segment about the IRS for example was better than any of the shows that came before it. Don’t introduce Gloria a a character and I think you’ve got a whole lot going on here to be a big success.

Overall, My Blue Heaven is a film that definitely throws a lot at the main characters. Some of the problems are self inflicted while others are really outside of their control. As with most musicals the songs themselves aren’t all that good but the film does have a chipper feel to it the whole time. Jack ultimately cracking and giving in to the dark side keeps this film from going above breaking even, particularly with how easy he was let off. Still, if you want to check out an old school musical then this could be the one that is up your alley. Just don’t expect great characters or anything like that.

Overall 4/10