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The Land Before Time Review

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Time for a fairly old film that most people have heard of. The Land Before Time was a really big deal back in the day and I’d say it’s definitely had a lasting effect on the world. People still haven’t forgotten the films after all. This one works pretty well to kick things off and you’ll have a wholesome time with the dinosaurs. One of them is definitely pretty annoying for most of the experience but there is a character arc involved.

The film starts off by showing us the world of the dinosaurs and how each species mostly keeps to themselves. Littlefoot doesn’t understand this since he wants to be friends with everyone but the grownups are adamant that the dinos keep to themselves. Well eventually a giant earthquake happens which splits all of the dinosaurs up. Littlefoot must now go on a great adventure to get back to his tribe but it will be a long journey. Fortunately he meets up with a few other kids along the way. Together they can show the world that dinosaurs of different species can get along!

I’d say one of the more emotional moments here is definitely when Littlefoot’s mother passes away. It’s pretty much a rite of passage in every animated film involving an animal that the parent dies early on and Littlefoot was not spared this tragedy. He still tries to put his best foot forward at all times which is admirable though. Throughout the movie I would say he is consistently the best character. Even when the other dinosaurs are being jerks or traitors he will do his best to save them. A key moment in this is when they all ditch him for Cera despite the latter not being dependable or a team player at any point. Littlefoot could have just took off and forgotten about the lot of them but he still ventures into the magma zone to save them all.

Littlefoot can definitely end up being the chief of the dinosaurs at some point with his courage and dedication. On the other hand Cera spends most of the film trying to prove herself to be a tough dinosaur while often having the opposite effect of that. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to present yourself as a tough fighter. It’s good to have courage and determination but at the same time she needs to realize her limits a bit sooner. I expected Cera to learn how to be humble a lot sooner than when it actually happened.

It’s really over 90% of the movie where she is doing her own thing and getting everyone into trouble. The worst of it has to be towards the magma zone when she decides to ditch Littlefoot and the others all follow her. Of course that translates really badly on them as well though. Seriously throughout the film Cera never lifted a foot to help any of them and that’s true here as well. Two of them get separated and Cera doesn’t care. One of them falls into the ocean and is about to drown and Cera doesn’t even notice. Yeah I’m going to need Cera to work really hard to be a likable character in the sequel because right now things are not going well for her at all.

Ducky is a nice character, she’s very outgoing and always doing her best. So in a lot of ways she has all of the right traits here but I do deduct some points for her going with Cera instead of Littlefoot. It’s the only error she made but it was a pretty big one. When all of your screentime is so positive though it’s hard for one moment to stop you so I still give her a lot of credit. Meanwhile Petrie also made that error but was decent otherwise. A little timid since he had a lot of trouble flying at first but gradually he is able to get past that. I suppose I’ll cut him a little slack since he was so young as they’re all kids here.

As a villain Sharptooth works pretty well. There is a bit of plot armor on the heroes to deal with him since a grown T Rex isn’t about to be stopped by a bunch of kids so easily. You almost feel bad for him in the sense that it’s more instinct to go after the prey rather than him being evil or anything like that. Of course you want the heroes to get away but you still hope Sharptooth will be okay as opposed to getting taken down by the kids. They can’t all be winners in the end but at least a truce can happen in some films. I can tell you right now that this doesn’t happen.

I was half expecting a little more of a reaction from the grown up dinosaurs at the end though. Like they see everyone getting along so well and decide that maybe dinosaurs can all get along. Some kind of coming of age moment where they realize the error of their ways. Perhaps the film writers felt that would be too cheesy or just too rushed to put in the last minutes though. I mean you could say it’s pretty much implied I guess, everyone is hanging out at the same area after all and at this point the kids have been through enough where they’re probably old enough to hang out with whoever they want. One of these days I’ll probably watch the sequels so we’ll see how they go.

Overall, The Land Before Time is a pretty fun film. It has a reasonable cast of characters and I was glad that Littlefoot got the win in the end since Cera really wasn’t being helpful or grateful at all the whole time. It is fairly short so the movie ends really fast but I’d say it got a good amount of plot in there. It might not be the most exciting movie out there which keeps it from being a bit higher but the quick length keeps it from dragging on. For example if this had been a 2 hour movie I would argue that it would actually hurt the experience since that would just be too much. At about an hour? Yeah that’s a pretty good length for this one.

Overall 6/10

Baby Driver Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

I remember seeing a whole lot of promotion for this film back in the day when it was coming out. It really got to be quite the big deal back in the day and who doesn’t like a high speed car film right? now that I’ve seen it I can safely say that it is a solid title. It’s a pretty well rounded film with a solid cast of characters.

The movie starts by introducing us to Baby who is the best getaway driver out there. He doesn’t want to be living this life of crime but doesn’t really have a way out yet. Doc has some serious dirt on the guy and he’s a powerful mobster in general so if Baby crosses him then it’s lights out. At least Doc says Baby just needs to do one last job and then they’re square. Is that really the truth? Well, Baby can’t really risk that either way. His foster parent Joe isn’t happy about this life of crime but it’s hard for Baby to explain exactly what’s going on. Then he falls for a lady named Deborah while at a café. Baby is trying to move forward in his life but the past just keeps on catching up.

Baby makes for a fairly unique character as he’s always listening to music because he suffers from tinnitus. Definitely a really rough condition to have and one that can be hard to fix even in modern times. So listening to music helps him tune out the constant whistle at least. He’s got a ton of different pairs of glasses and Ipads at the ready and even makes mixtapes in his spare time. This all makes for a fairly compelling main character and I think most impressively is how he’s able to stay strong and not flinch when the other villains try to mess with him.

I also liked that he isn’t naïve about the whole thing. Sometimes you see the main guy being blackmailed to being a villain but is really slow on the uptake the whole time. That’s not the case with Baby, he’s always alert and always ready to make a move. His plans towards the end of the film were actually really solid, just the wrong thing kept happening at the wrong time. So he’s definitely a unique main character and worked well in the role.

I also enjoyed Doc as the main villain. He’s a fairly ruthless guy who definitely doesn’t take no as an answer from the other characters. He will make sure they get their money and are fairly compensated though. The guy is a full businessman, an evil one but he’s not crazy. So the guy has had a steady business as a result and just keeps it moving. Perhaps his last scenes felt a bit rushed in terms of character but I’ll just take the scene at face value for now and he just wasn’t all bad.

As the main heroine Deborah is a fun character as well. She tries to cheer up Baby when he seems down and generally seems like a nice person. She had the right attitude on the job and she was quick on the uptake when Baby walked in with the gang. Deborah really didn’t make any mistakes so I appreciated that and she didn’t just freeze when the villains show up. She grabs a pipe and actually hits one of them which was really key since it bought enough time for the heroes there.

Then for the other villains, I would say Bats was the highlight. He’s a very tough guy who has been around the block a lot of times before. Nothing bothers him and he is always ready for a fight. The guy can be a little too perceptive for his own good at times but nothing just gets past him. I enjoyed having him around and he’s the kind of villain you want on your side in a heist. You don’t want to be going against him or it’s not going to end well.

Finally we have Buddy and Darling who really love flaunting their relationship in front of everyone. Darling in particular seems to get a kick out of it since she’ll have Buddy murder anyone who takes a look at her. They make for a solid toxic duo on the villain roster and Buddy is definitely a really determined guy. At first he seems like one of the nicer ones on the villain squad but once you’re on his bad list then it’s over.

What helps put Baby Driver at a solid level here is that the characters are fun. I feel like I’ve seen a ton of films with the main guy helping some gangsters and they’re all super forgettable criminals. You finish the film and you just won’t remember these guys at all. In this film they all had full character personalities so you won’t be forgetting them any time soon. I’d say that’s a good credit to the movie.

While the soundtrack’s fairly well known here I would say it can be hit or miss. I wasn’t particularly impressed with many of the tunes here but it certainly did have a lot of them. Music is a good way to build intensity during the chase scenes so that is appreciated. The specific songs just weren’t all that great compared to what they could have been but they were all fast paced which is the main important part. I enjoyed all of the car scenes and there was a lot of effort put into them. The actual shooting battles were also on point. They felt like true gunfights with a lot of back and forth. The whole climax is very hectic in a good way.

Overall, Baby Driver is a pretty good movie. It lived up to the trailers and you don’t always know what’s going to happen next. The pacing is on point and the writing was solid too. It works really well as a stand alone film and covers everything that it needs to. I think a sequel to this could be fun too since there’s a lot of avenues you can go for it. Baby Driver isn’t trying to be super ambitious or anything like that, just a good film to pass the time by and that works out well. It is a lot of fun and you’ll finish the movie feeling satisfied. I’d definitely recommend checking it out.

Overall 7/10

Die, Monster, Die! Review

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This movie definitely doesn’t feel like the average horror title and I’d say that shows how Lovecraft handles things a bit differently in general. This is more of a slow burn with a lot of solid atmosphere and suspicious things going around. There is a violent visual or two but for the most part this film isn’t going for a lot of violence or anything like that. I think it could have stood out a bit more with a more engaging plot and cast of characters but it’s a decent title.

The movie starts off with a guy named Stephen looking for his girlfriend’s house but whenever he mentions the name of the place people refuse to talk to him. Nobody will give him the time of day at all and it’s starting to tick him off. Finally he finds the place and her father Nahum insists that he leave. Stephen will do no such thing and gladly meets up with Susan anyway. She introduces him to her mother who seems nice enough and now Stephen can stay to have a good time. But will it be a safe time? He hears weird sounds in the night, Nahum continues to be really shady and in general the place feels like its got a rotten edge to it.

If I was Stephen I’d probably just ask Susan to come with me and get out of there right away. The longer you stay at this place the worse it gets but once you’re thrown into the mystery it’s hard to leave at that point. What is Nahum hiding? Until Stephen figures that out then he knows Susan will probably be in danger. So one way to escape danger is to leave. He seems like a reasonably tough guy too and wasn’t taking the town’s nonsense. You need to be a bit stubborn like that if you want to succeed when going to a new town for the first time. I was also glad that he was not intimidated by Nahum and intended to say from the start. Now, it’s clear that Nahum cares about his daughter but at the same time he’s just not really doing much to protect her at all.

That’s my main problem with Nahum. He is so passive about the whole thing. Sure he tells Stephen to stay away but on his own what is he really doing? It’s not until the very climax of the film that he makes the obvious call to deal with the threat and by then it’s a bit late. Lets just say that there’s some radiation involved and Nahum did the equivalent of throwing the source in a box. That was never going to go very far and in the meantime casualties were piling up.

I guess you could chalk some of this up to the film going for a vibe of being very strange but it wasn’t the most satisfying execution. I’d also say that Susan seemed really slow on the uptake since she didn’t really seem to know what was going on and Nahum wasn’t being very subtle about how shady he was. Seriously the locked rooms, “You can’t go in there” and other lines didn’t set off any alarm bells? The whole place even looked spooky during the daytime which is a massive red flag.

As always the townsfolk were really not helpful in the slightest though. They could have at least given Stephen a hint as to why they wouldn’t talk to him or help the guy get to the house. Instead it was the same vague warnings of not saying anything so I can’t give the town any credit at all. Having them do something could have given this film the bolt of energy that it needed.

Because at the end of the day I wouldn’t say the film made any big mistakes. If anything my only real problem with it was that it could be a bit dull at times. I wouldn’t say this film was a real page turner. You didn’t care much about the lore as it was happening and this wasn’t a film that was going to suddenly start throwing in a lot of fight scenes or plot twists after all. So in that case you need top tier writing or something to really give the film energy.

The writing is good. I may not say amazing but it’s got that retro feel that I always enjoy and so that part’s okay enough. It just needed more though, whether it be a fun antagonist or something like that. Maybe the problem is that for all the build up of the odd mystery within the dungeon, it wasn’t as exciting as I expected. The film did surprise me since I hadn’t guessed what the actual twist was going to be, but eh it wasn’t enough. So I wouldn’t say the movie’s bad or anything but it wasn’t very solid either. I’d end up putting it right in the middle.

Overall, The movie’s title is a lot more colorful and intense than the actual movie itself. You’d expect a monster running around and some kind of crazy climax but that isn’t the case at all. There is sort of a “monster” running around if you really stretch the term and of course there is a climax but it’s just not what you would really be expecting. It’s not a frenzy of action and if anything you just feel bad for the victims who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. When you finish this film it will quickly be smothered by the more popular horror titles and you’ll be lucky to remember more than bits and pieces within a year. If you’re a big fan of Lovecraft works then you should check it out but I expect most of the other titles will be more memorable. The suspense is what’s supposed to sell you after all and I’m confident that more of them would be able to pull this off. This one just couldn’t get the vibe right.

Overall 5/10

Lifeboat Review

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When you’ve got the whole cast stranded in one location you definitely need to make sure that the writing is engaging or you’re going to be in for a really rough time. Fortunately this movie is up to the task and it ends up being a fun adventure. I do think having more locations would have made it more fun but the time doesn’t drag and there’s still a lot happening here. The film reminds you that you never want to be stranded with anyone for too long or things could get dicey.

The movie kicks off with a ship being bombed by the Germans and only a handful of people survive. They all have to huddle together on one of the big lifeboats that was around. They all fit in rather comfortably at least to the point where they can all stretch and even play card games. Still, there is the issue of how the food and water are quickly going so they can’t survive like this forever. Additionally one German washed up onto the boat and some of the crew want to quickly throw him overboard while others think this would be morally bankrupt. The tensions only continue to grow as the film goes on. Will they all be able to keep it together?

Being stuck with strangers for a few minutes can be tough, let alone whole days. When you consider that the characters can’t shower or anything the whole place would be hot and hard to breath in. So the characters being in a bad mood makes sense. Even without Willi (The German) around I’m sure things would have been really tough. Kovac believes he is the best person to be leader of the craft and takes a rather aggressive/threatening tone about it. Gus gets drunk rather easily and he has a spot of bad luck which sidelines him the whole film.

If all of the characters were at 100% health that would help too but of course that’s not really how things play out. While Kovac can be unreasonable at times, he does make for a good central character. He’s solid enough but the whole romance plot was pretty bad. He really can’t stand Connie’s jewelry to the point where he refuses to be nice to her as a result. How can you make a good romance out of that? It seems to me that no romance would really be starting on a ship like this so you should cut out this one and the other one that was happening.

It’s a do or die situation and everyone needs to stay focused! Meanwhile Rittenhouse was my favorite character because he keeps his composure more than the others. He at least tries to be the voice of reason in all of this and only gets upset when Kovac begins to obviously cheat at cards. Yeah definitely another knock against Kovac since he was rubbing this in Rittenhouse’s face and was generally being a delinquent. It reminds you not to trust him at all.

Connie is usually the focus of his rage though because she tends to talk a whole lot and so she gets on everyone’s nerves. You’d think she would tone this down after a bit but I guess she’s a bold character. Things really go rotten for Connie the whole time as she loses her camera and basically everything else by the end. Of course surviving is the most important thing but you feel like the characters are a bit meaner than needed. The whole scene with the fishing hook was just downright tragic.

Gus was more on the annoying side. I know he was drunk for part of the film after the operation but even so he was always getting into trouble. Kovac and the others had a point that if his girl was going to leave him because he couldn’t dance then she probably wasn’t a keeper anyway. Of course he tries to turn this into a fight. Now personally if I was him I would have said no to the amputation. Mainly because I absolutely would not trust Willi for a single moment. Like seriously that guy could try anything and you’re giving him a blade? Also, maybe the leg doesn’t actually need to go.

So yeah I definitely wouldn’t have gone through with that. As for Willi, Kovac is on his case the whole time. He’s definitely determined to get Willi off the boa and doesn’t give him much of a chance so it’s ironic how the film keeps showing how the lead was actually right. You know that feeling when someone is right but for the wrong reasons? That’s basically Kovac the whole time and things really keep escalating with Willi messing with everyone for a whole long while before the ending. I’d say his plot ends on a pretty good note with the crew making the right call but it sure took a while.

In general I’d say the film had a strong ending. Perhaps a bit mean spirited towards Connie but it was otherwise solid around the board. The movie had a good plot and the writing was on point. I would say it lags behind some of the other Hitchcock movies in part because of the limited setting and also it’s not really a mystery the way that the others are. There is less replay value here as well because there’s not a whole lot of story. The fun is seeing how the characters handle the situation but once you’ve seen it once there is really no reason to ever watch it again. I’d say that’s probably true for a lot of single location films like this one.

Overall, Lifeboat is a good movie. I had a fun time with it and it’s really a tough spot to be in. If you’re ever trapped in the middle of the ocean like this then you instinctively know that yours odds of surviving are very low. At that point you’re really just waiting for the inevitable and hoping that something can change that. Especially since at that point you’re likely going to die from starving, dehydration, or drowning. All of which are really rough ways to go out.

Overall 6/10

Unforgiven Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Unforgiven is basically a wild west film with the classic theme of revenge. It’s going for a fairly somber tone with the main character having to contend with his past. The premise isn’t bad since that’s really classic for doing a solid revenge film about someone getting back into the game but the film ultimately misses its cues to make this the next big epic that you will never forget. Ultimately I just couldn’t land it near the top.

The movie starts off with a rather intense scene as a villain beats up on a lady and disfigures her. The guy gets off very light without having to go to jail or get beaten which shows how corrupt the town is. The ladies are prostitutes so unfortunately the town doesn’t really care to avenge the lady. The group takes it upon themselves to do this and issue out a warrant for the murder of the guy who slashed up the lady and his partner. Word reaches out to a young man who figures this is his chance to get rich. He ends up recruiting a legendary gunfighter named Will and Wil brings in his friend Ned. Between the 3 fighters they have a young guy who doesn’t really know how to fight, an old man who has long since stopped fighting and doesn’t have the edge anymore, and a guy who lives a life of peace now and may not be able to take the shot when it counts. The odds are not in their favor.

Whenever you have a film about a character having to go back to his old ways of fighting it can be tricky for the character because he may just not have the stuff anymore. Some characters keep honing their skills of course but others don’t because they figure that life will never come back. That’s the case with Will who may have been the best a long time ago but now he’s feeling his age. The guy’s worst scene has to be when he walks into the bar and just gets clobbered by Little Bill and his men. This is where I feel like you have to take your gun out and start shooting because he very easily could have just been murdered there.

Seriously when you have a gun, you have to use it. Even when you’re outnumbered there, you’re probably going to die anyway so what’s really the benefit in holding back? He makes up for it by the end but I was just surprised at how the scene went. In a way it ended up just being the same as the first group who showed up and promptly got destroyed by Little Bill. Bill definitely got a lot of hype in the movie that’s for sure.

There’s a whole subplot of Bill telling an aspiring author about how the wild west really works and all. He’s all about accuracy over speed and why he’s the best one out there. I do agree with him on always going for the best shooter if you’re facing off with a group. I’m more a fan of the quickdraw myself so I don’t fully agree with him there. Of course you do need accuracy too but if you’re a quicker shot and land a bullet anywhere then you’re in business. If you’re a step too slow then it’s likely game over right out of the gate.

Bill makes for an impressive villain in just how determined he is to make sure there are no assassins in his town. He’s a corrupt sheriff and one who wants to keep complete power. He has no respect for anyone who brings a gun onto his property. Again you’d think people would use their guns before they are stomped into submission but that’s how it goes I suppose. He’s a very memorable character which is always good and it’s a way for you to always end up remembering this film no matter what happens.

Meanwhile The Kid on the hero’s side was definitely just annoying the whole time. He didn’t have what it took to keep on blasting and nearly ended up costing Will everything. He talked a big game but choked when it counted and that’s typically the worst kind of character. He definitely should have just stayed quiet in the back. Instead he really put himself in a twist. Then there’s Ned who is a decent character but I wasn’t a big fan of his either. Deciding to leave midway through the adventure was not a great move. Of course there’s no way for him to have known that he would be caught but of course it did put the other two characters in a tricky spot. Again I’d also say you need to try shooting because if you’re captured then it’ll end up being a fate worse than death.

Will had a great climax but it would have been nice if he could have stayed strong the whole time. No taking that last drink and undoing all of the work his wife had put in to getting him off the habit. It was definitely a metaphor kind of moment for showing that he went all the way back. Of course we can say he went back to being all good after the ending here but I think it would have been a much stronger performance if he went in and took everyone out without the drink. Just show that he would use the skills one last time and he’s doing it for a friend so it’s different than if he was just doing it to be a murderer.

The film fits in a lot of lore and backstory around the plot so I will say that they made sure every bit of the story was covered. I had a lot of issues with the film but the story itself was sound and the final fight that we did get was good. It’s not a film that’s without its positives, they just ended up being outnumbered by the negatives rather strongly in this case.

If the film could tone down the grit here then we’d be in a much better spot. The opening scene really starts the film off on the wrong note and it’s hard to recover from something like that. All the beatings in the film extend for quite a while and then seeing Will just get beaten up at the bar without fighting back was rough. The fact that the other two heroes were taking their payment in advance was also pretty awful. C’mon now these people are obviously in distress and doing whatever they can for the heroes to right the wrongs so actually taking them up on this is crazy. The film could have done with more heroic characters that’s for sure. This is definitely more of a jaded wild west story and you can feel it.

Overall, In trying to dismantle the wild west genre the film only serves to dismantle itself. It focuses too hard on being gritty and having none of the characters be an awe inspiring hero instead of just being an epic film. Ultimately this one won’t compete with the classic wild west titles even if the climax was really good. They always say to end on a good note so I can at least give the film that defense. It ended on the best note possible and if the whole film had been like that then we’d be having a very different conversation.

Overall 3/10

3:10 to Yuma (2007) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

3:10 to Yuma was a pretty fun film back when I saw the original and this remake does it justice. It’s a remake that keeps very close to the original with minimal changes but they work well. The lead’s wife gets less of a role here as his son gets to do more instead but the film makes the main villain and his right hand man a little more memorable. Ultimately it’s close but I would say this one does beat the original. There’s a whole lot to enjoy here.

The movie starts off with Dan in a rather rough place. He isn’t very well off as it is and then gets all his stuff stolen and burned due to the debts he has. It gets worse when he watches someone get robbed and does not help. Now he feels like his kids won’t respect him as much and so this leads him to join in with a posse to stop the legendary robber Ben. It’s actually not a job that sounds very hard. Ben has already been wrapped up by the proper authorities. Dan just needs to get him to a town where he will be taken in to jail. They just have to last a few days until the train pulls in. The only real complication is making sure that Ben doesn’t get into their heads. Most of the fighters are in the same boat as Dan. They have big debts and need money badly. Often times money can really mess with your morals and of course if there are less people around then each person’s cut of the money might be a little bigger eh?

Perhaps you can cut a deal with Ben rather than getting money from the company. Either way Ben may be the guy in handcuffs but Dan and the others are the ones who feel outnumbered. Another complication is that Ben’s crew is very loyal. Particularly his right hand man Charlie who will not rest until he has found Ben and freed him from these guys. Dan may have bitten off more than he can chew but at the same time he knows there is no turning back now. His honor and reputation is on the line right now.

Now there’s always a question of how far is too far with honor. Of course you need to do the right thing always and you can’t stop on that. The real question is if you should be risking your life for respect when it’s something you don’t actually need to do. In this case Dan absolutely could have stayed home and lived a decent life. Sure he would not have been known as a tough guy but he’d be around. I think if he was doing this because he really wanted to see justice done then that’s one thing but I’d say he should have stayed home after getting the money. It’s not like he’s trained as a police officer or anything like that.

That said, I agree with him on staying to see it through once he was there. It’s not like it went any better for the guys who left since they all got shot anyway. Particularly back in the wild west I never get why people just leave and assume the villain will keep their word. Seriously you’re just going to get shot right away I can guarantee it. So instead of putting your gun down you should at least go out blazing. Maybe you take one or two of them with you. Ideally you take out the villain leader that way. When you have a gun like this, you can always guarantee mutual destruction for at least one person.

Meanwhile Ben is a great villain and I would even say the best character in the film. He’s a villain through and through but at least he is one who has his own set of principles and an honor code. He’s not just going around blasting everyone randomly. He steals and generally does whatever he wants but he’s not going after kids or anyone who is not in his way. For example he was not going to go after Dan initially and he let him go. Then by the end he was actually helping out a whole lot in trying to get Dan to safety.

I also liked the fact that Ben was shown to be a great shot. He was probably the most skilled fighter in the whole movie and that really goes to show how he wasn’t trying to hurt the main characters. If he wanted them dead then they would absolutely be dead. The film is fairly light on gun fights but at the end his fight scene is really impressive. Definitely not someone that most of the characters could dream of taking on.

I’d say the only one who was close would be Charlie and to an extent you feel bad for him. He’s definitely a cruel villain and someone who has no mercy but he is loyal. He never waivered in his mission to help Ben out of the jam and really didn’t take any disrespect towards the guy. If Ben actually was as evil as the rest of the characters thought he was then these two would have been the perfect duo and really impossible to stop. So when they have to fight it’s one of the most emotional moments in the film to be sure.

Yeah this is definitely a very satisfying film all around. It’s also a movie where I think you can take a message about being careful what fights you jump into. You may not start a fight but after you jump in you suddenly find yourself as the last one standing. Everyone abandoned Dan by the end and of course there were legitimate reasons for doing so. The mission did start to seem impossible so you definitely get it and Dan had his own reasons for sticking around but it’s got to be tough when everyone is just gone like that.

Perhaps it’s better that way in this case though as most of the other “heroes” were extremely annoying. You had one guy who spent the whole film trying to pick a fight with Ben which made him easy to manipulate. It was another impressive moment for Ben with how he took him out. One of the older guys just got super greedy, etc. These were moments to show how Ben was able to easily turn everyone against each other but you feel like in part it’s because the characters were all just lousy people to start with.

Overall, 3:10 to Yuma is a pretty good movie. It gets all the positive elements of the wild west in there and has good pacing. It never ends up dragging on and the characters are very interesting. The verbal battles between the main character and villain are on point. Some characters definitely look pretty bad in how easily they are manipulated but for the main two they at least have a good respect for each other. The tension is constantly high with Dan knowing that he could die at any point and even Ben realizing that this won’t be an easy situation. Ben definitely does have the edge since even if he is captured he could escape. Definitely a must watch if you like the wild west genre.

Overall 7/10

Airport ’77 Review

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It’s time for another Airport movie and once again the actual airport is really nowhere to be found. That’s got to be the biggest weakness of the series at this point because you would think that by now they would have gone back to the roots right? Seriously this one barely has to do with an airplane at this point since it functions as a boat for most of the movie. Still, it does end up trying something more interesting than the second film and I would actually say this was a reasonable title. It certainly doesn’t beat the first film but I would end up giving it the edge over the second one.

The movie starts by introducing us to the characters. They’re mostly rather annoying as you would expect. You have a lady who seems unhappy with her current relationship and likes to flirt with everyone while also using blackmail. She refuses to let her guy talk to anyone though so this way she can be in complete control at all times. You have the Captain who is at least a good character even if there isn’t much to him beyond being the captain. Then there are the group of terrorists who have decided to take over the plane to get rich with the exotic artwork on board. You’ve got a doctor, the wife and kid of the Ceo who built the plane, and of course Patroni. Unfortunately Patroni’s role here is really small.

So the group get on the plane and prepare for a nice flight but things go wrong when the hijackers take over and the whole thing crashes real quick into the ocean. Now you may think that’s better than crashing on land…and that’s true. However, they are sinking fast and it is looking like it will be very difficult to exit the plane in time. If the heroes don’t think of something soon then it’s all going to be over. All their dreams and goals will be gone like the waves. Can they survive long enough for the plane to be found or are they going to drown?

Particularly with the recent submarine incident in real life, you can imagine how terrifying it would be to be stuck underwater in a plane like this. It’s not even a boat so you can’t trust the plane to hang in there forever. Death by drowning or suffocation are some of the worst ways to go and in that respect I’ll take the quick death in a plane crash into the mountain or something. Still once you’re alive you have to try and make the best of it which is where some of the characters get annoying. They’re still yelling a lot and giving the captain a hard time. I know they’re all stressed but these characters do not do well in emergency situations, that’s for sure.

The Captain is the best character by far because at least he’s doing something about this. He takes risks as needed to get the crew off the boat and does his best to keep everyone calm. I’m not going to say that he’s perfect but I would say he really does everything you can possibly expect him to do and considering that he was knocked out at one point the crew is lucky that he wasn’t too dazed. You definitely feel bad for the one guard who got murdered because the villains ended up hitting him harder than they planned. It definitely goes to show how these hijackers won’t be going for any sympathy points here.

Patroni’s cameo is nice but that’s basically all that it is. The characters ask if he wants to take a more hands on approach to saving everyone but he explains that he can direct better from homebase which makes a lot of sense. Particularly at his age would it really make sense to go out there? Probably not although it still would have been cool to see. The CEO character is nice enough. There’s a lot of family drama going on in his plot but it sort of feels like there’s no point to it because inevitably he will only get to see the family for a minute or two at the very end of the film. So there’s only so much you can do with that.

I’d say where the film shines is that you do get the danger of being in this situation. Everyone knows the fear of the water and when you mix that in with a plane crash then even more so. The film doesn’t overplay its hand with a lot of tragic sob stories or anything like that which I really appreciated. That could have also been annoying but the film doesn’t fall into that. So you’re allowed to see how scary it all is without the film beating you over the head about it. You probably will forget that they’re inside a plane after a while but that’s fine.

The rescue efforts also looked pretty cool. I liked the idea behind it. Of course I would be skeptical in practice but the film depicted the attempt well. It takes itself very seriously so there’s almost no room for humor but the pacing isn’t bad. The movie doesn’t overstay its welcome and so that’s why I would say that this is a good movie. It’s admittedly more of a forgettable movie so you won’t remember it in a year or two. That’s why I won’t say it’s a very good movie or anything but you will be entertained and it doesn’t make any big mistakes so I think it’s fair to put it at this level.

Overall, Airport’77 may be an extremely misleading title for the film since it’s really a submarine film that wants to be an airport movie, but it still works well. The tension is carried across nicely and the effects are solid. The cast is just super forgettable and can’t really hold their own against the casts of the previous two films which isn’t a great look. These guys by and large feel more like horror movie type characters in that almost all of them are really annoying and just exist to set the heroes back as much as possible. Seriously you don’t want any of these guys on your team except for the captain.

Overall 6/10

The Trial Review

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The Trial is definitely a very unique film because the whole thing is really crazy from start to finish. A short story is played before the movie starts about how the logic of a dream can always be hard to follow and that seems to be what they are going for with this film. Things don’t tend to make sense and it’s like a scene out of the Twilight Zone. It makes for a pretty fun adventure even if it does drag on a bit towards the end.

The movie starts with Josef K waking up to find that a bunch of people are in the room with him. They seem to be detectives…possibly but they don’t identify themselves. They cryptically tell Josef that he’s under suspicion of something but won’t mention any details. Josef just knows that he will be arrested soon and his coworkers aren’t being very helpful about this. He has a crush on his next door neighbor but she’s a lady of the night and so bad rumors have been spread around her. At least Josef is allowed to go to work while he is being accused but what can he really do to clear his name when he doesn’t know the charges?

Right from the start things are going batty but I would say that is where the film is at its strongest. The beginning is incredibly memorable. The whole film has a very spooky atmosphere to it but this has to be the scariest scene because you have to wonder if he is even able to leave the room. What’s waiting for him outside those doors? In theory it’s all normal outside those doors but after everything that has been going on it’s just hard to say for sure. The world seems very empty, nobody is on his side..well he has his uncle I guess.

It’s almost like Josef has entered a big conspiracy that he doesn’t remember joining. He makes for a pretty good main character for the most part but as the film goes on he starts to lose his willpower a bit. Of course he liked Ms. Burstner but then he lets himself get seduced by the mistress of his lawyer who seems to enjoy hearing about her adventures. Josef ends up not really having a lot of self respect for himself here. Sure he might be about to die here but even so he doesn’t need to go through with these affairs.

The “romance” if you can call it that is pretty weak here. It doesn’t really help with the trippy vibe or do anything to enhance the plot. It’s just sort of around and I would have cut that part out in order to save some time. It’s not like there’s any real emotion to this either which is part of the gag. Burstner was practically falling asleep when Josef was trying to get together with her which is rather embarrassing if you think about it.

At least Josef didn’t let this break him though. One character is thoroughly broken to the point where he kneels before the lawyer and degrades himself. Seriously that guy was a lost cause. After a point you may as well just face prison or the execution room instead of allowing yourself to be manipulated by this guy. If you’ve lost all your self respect then will your life really be as satisfying and complete as you had hoped?

I’ll give Hastler credit of course because somehow he pulled this off. He got clients who are so desperate for his help that they would do anything and that’s a skill in itself. He also was just an entertaining character in general as he was just chilling while everyone was so stressed out. The guy had fun just running his mouth the whole time and you really didn’t know how much if anything of what he was saying was actually true or not. There just wasn’t any way to tell.

Then the film will randomly introduce minor characters who don’t actually add anything to the plot. For example Josef’s younger cousin who shows up randomly and then vanishes as soon as she had appeared. You have this lady with a robotic leg helping pack Burstner’s things and then she doesn’t really appear again. Even Grubach sort of vanishes after the opening scenes. Characters will disappear and then reappear as needed but sometimes they won’t reappear at all so this way you’re always kept guessing. The police detectives from the start of the film looked pretty tough but then things go downhill for them after that.

I’m sure people have probably written long essays explaining exactly what happened here but for the most part I feel like you can come to your own conclusions. You can absolutely analyze what was going on and make some kind of full story out of it but part of the fun is in how vague the whole thing is. I feel like this whole movie is a dream but of course it’s more fun if we take it as being very literal. In that case Josef probably was framed as some kind of huge conspiracy. I guess he made some very powerful enemies and that’s a good way to just vanish unexpectedly.

As mentioned earlier my only real issue with the film is that it does drag a little bit. The first half is a lot more exciting in a lot of ways because you’re being introduced to the world and how crazy it is. You get to be as shocked as Josef is at how things are playing out. Somewhere towards the middle of the film it just doesn’t have the same wow factor going on so while crazy things are still happening, it’s not as crazy as that bold intro. The ending definitely keeps the crazy factor in though so that was good.

I wouldn’t mind seeing more films operating on dream logic like this. You still need quality writing to pull it off so it doesn’t ultimately feel pointless or boring after all. You can probably allow it to be a little pointless but you need to be entertained all the way through. Ultimately Josef probably should have just tried fighting these guys. In dreams people usually can’t fight as much so mow through them and reclaim your freedom!

Now in terms of the story I’ll give my quick interpretation here. So the way I see it, one of Josef’s coworkers was jealous of him. Probably the nosy one who was snooping through the neighbor’s room. That guy also had a crush on her so he needed to bump Josef off which he did by giving the cops some incriminating evidence that Josef was dealing drugs. That’s why they were searching his apartment. Additionally the reason they let him go back to work was so they could find where he had the stash. I think it works about as well as you can do it with all these variables here.

Overall, Dreams are a blast when you have them but it’s hard to summon a dream on command. So watching a film like this is definitely the next best option. It may not be perfect but it’s very entertaining and that’s what counts. You definitely need to go into it with the right mindset but if you do then I think you’ll have a good time. I’m sure it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but that’s how it goes with being unique. This really could have turned into a horror film if the writers wanted to go that way so I think there’s potential for that within this crazy sub genre of sorts.

Overall 6/10

Starman Review

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Starman is one of those films that seemed a little iffy right out of the gate. The whole plot involves an alien impersonating Jenny’s husband and calling it a day. And this film is going to be part romance? Uh ohhhhhhhh. Yeah this is why the film was never going to get particularly far. Throw in that the pacing can be slow and the main character is super annoying and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

The film starts off with an alien crash landing to Earth after the government shot down his space ship. He has 7 orgs/magic spells at the ready and uses one to tell his people that Earth is dangerous. He then sees a widow named Jenny and decides to shapeshift into her dead husband. The alien is now “Scott” but he knows nothing about human customs, their ways, or even about talking. So he gets to work on learning all of this and until he does, he figures Jenny will be his prisoner. Jenny has to try and escape quickly before she falls victim to Stockholm syndrome. Will she be up to the task?

Yeah the romance here is just bad. Since her husband is dead, you would think that the last thing Jenny would tolerate is an alien shapeshifter. I would argue that a normal rebound is even better than this because at least it’s a different person. Choosing to get together with someone who looks like your husband but isn’t is just really eery and not something you should be doing. I would also argue that there is no reason for her to fall for him at all. He basically kidnapped her and then held her against her will for a long while. At what point would that really turn into some kind of admiration? I’m not buying it, no sirrrrrrrr. He basically got her pregnant through alien magic too and she was cool with it.

Jenny started out by being a tough character but started breaking down as the film went on. I would have preferred that she knocked “Scott” out early on and then escaped. She doesn’t have to help the government since those guys were real shady the whole time but not falling in love with this guy is the baseline requirement to being a really solid character here. The romance should have been cut out entirely.

It’s not even to say that “Scott” is a bad guy but I would still put him as more antagonistic than anything. While it takes him a while to learn the human customs so he isn’t intending to be a bad person, you can’t forget that he was completely threatening Jenny. This guy also seemed serious about it and while you know that he is changing, it’s not like you can just quickly see that and get together with him at the drop of a hat. It just doesn’t work like that by any stretch.

The film also suffers in large part due to “Scott” and how long it takes him to get used to Earth. It’s one of those tropes I’ve never been a big fan of where it takes him forever to understand what’s going on. So you see him make a lot of goofy faces, not know how to respond, etc. These scenes take forever and I just really prefer to have a character who is on the ball the whole time. Someone who knows what is going on and is ready to act. With his magic powers surely he could have used one of them to immediately understand human customs or something right? He comes far by the end but at first all of his scenes are absolutely brutal. You’ll be cringing a whole lot and that hurts the pacing.

Meanwhile the government makes for a decent villain but there isn’t a lot to them. They hire a freelancer to help out but that was the government’s mistake as he clearly had disdain for them from the start and instead of helping out he basically makes sure to get in their way the whole time. Seriously they would have been better off without him. In general while the government does get close at times, they rarely feel like much of a threat.

That’s why to add tension we see a deer die which was pretty regrettable. It’s a way for “Scott” to see how cruel the world is and how people hunt other animals. Fortunately he does use his abilities to revive it but it’s a scene that we didn’t really need. Still I wouldn’t say the film was ever aimless or anything. I wasn’t big on that scene of course but the film did have a plan the whole time and went ahead with it. You could easily transform this into a really fun film if you switch up the genre a bit. Have it be a thriller where “Scott” needs to evade the government until his backup arrives. Then we get a classic alien invasion film or something like that. You have to admit that would definitely be a lot of fun!

Of course if you really want to make this plot work, just don’t have Starman turn into her husband. Have him be an ordinary joe and gradually she falls for him. I think you’d still need to bypass all of the threats and such though for this to even be a conversation. Additionally it’s best for her to not even have a dead husband so that it’s not a big rebound like that. That would be an immediate upgrade to the plot and it’s not even that hard to pull off.

Overall, Starman isn’t a particularly good film. I would say that it starts off on the wrong foot with the romance right out of the gate. It’s just hard to get past that because it’s such a bad romance plot that only serves to actively harm the film. It’s hard to survive when one of your main genres is holding you back after all. There’s just no escape from that. Then mix in how Starman’s initial scenes really drag on and that doesn’t help either. To an extent it’s probably trying to be funny but give me the witty fast talking kind of humor over the slow on the uptake version any time. I’d say to avoid this film. The title sounds cool for sure but the actual film isn’t quite up to par.

Overall 3/10

Prophecy Review

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When you have a film about mutated animals running around often times it isn’t going to end well for the movie. This one was no exception as you’ll be shaking your head the whole time with the animal violence. The idea of the characters wandering into an area with a lot of radiation and creatures running around could be something more like Godzilla but that wasn’t the case here.

The movie starts off with Robert being asked to go look into a fight between some Native Americans and a lumber company. Robert asks why he would possibly be asked to do this and he’s basically just told to stop asking questions. Well, if he’s going to do this job then he’ll do it right and since he works for the EPA he looks into the radiation. Unfortunately this area is ignoring all environmental standards and toxic sludge is being tossed around. This sludge not only causes birth defects but seems to be triggering some kind of changes within the lifeforms around here. What can Robert do about this?

For the drama angle we have his wife Maggie who is pregnant with their future child and of course this is bad news for her. Any kind of birth complication would be particularly worrisome. Then there’s also the fact that Robert really doesn’t want kids. I forget if Maggie just forgot to use protection that time or if she just really wanted the kids, or if the film even addressed that. Either way she isn’t quite sure how to mention this to him so that causes a lot of tension.

Now if you are with someone who expressly says that they don’t want kids before you get married then you already know the score and shouldn’t try to mess with that. If it’s an accident then of course there’s nothing you can do about it so the context is important for this angle. Either way I wouldn’t say it adds a lot to the film since we’re here for the action, not for this romance plot which is definitely not the highlight anyway. Neither character ends up looking all that good by the end of that plot.

Maggie’s a bit too timid in bringing the topic up before it’s far too late. Once she was hearing about the sludge she should have let him know. Meanwhile Robert was so absorbed in what was going on that he didn’t pay her much attention at all. He at least tries to diffuse tensions within the camp but rarely does all that good a job of it. This guy’s a researcher, not a fighter so don’t expect him to get a ton of fight scenes.

Isely represents the company in this movie so naturally he is fairly corrupt and can’t really be reasoned with. When John and the tribe try to stop him from going further he nearly murders one of them. Of course he had to go through for his job and could have definitely knocked them around a bit but of course murdering them is never the answer. John is the leader of the tribe or at least the main acting member and he tries hard to protect the tribe’s interests but the plans aren’t always very well thought out. Standing in front of the jeep with the rest of the characters would just make it easy to be run over. Ultimately corporate would do that in order to save a few bucks.

Of course at the end of the day the movie is fairly standard in a lot of ways so it would have been fine without the animal angle. What really sinks it is what happens at that point. You have animals getting poisoned and dying out, being eaten, and then of course the final bear monster which looks incredibly deformed. It seems to be in pain just by existing. While the film’s about the Katahdin monster, it’s safe to say that this was still just an average bear. Even if it was film budget limitations that insisted on this, it doesn’t change that it wasn’t the big hyped hybrid.

Having a bear as the final boss is regrettable because of course that means the characters have to be attacking it even when it’s just trying to save its cub and take down the pesky humans. This is a problem all films involving antagonist animals have to deal with and it doesn’t leave the movie a lot of hope for making a comeback. Animal violence basically becomes unavoidable at that point.

It’s not like the film has any aspect that really sticks out to try and combat this either. It’s really a very standard film all things considered. There’s also one scene that will have you puzzled where John stays in the water for a very long time as the bear approaches. You fully expect it to pop out of the water and grab the guy but surprisingly in the 11th hour he manages to get up and run away. A bit of a pointless scene then right? Why was he even staying in the water? You can’t tell me he was so exhausted that he couldn’t move because adrenaline should take care of that real quick.

Overall, Prophecy is a title that probably won’t make you think about evil animals right away. Of course that is a bit misleading since it’s all the pollution’s fault. Not like the animals wanted to turn giant or deformed. That said, the movie ended up being pretty bad due in large parts to the very realistic effects for the deformed animals and the plot in general. It could be hard to look at the bear or the other animals directly in general. Throw in the romance plot that really didn’t add anything at all and this film was sliding downhill the whole time. I highly recommend avoiding this one and in general you will want to avoid films with an animal at the end like this. Trust me they aren’t going to stand out.

Overall 1/10