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The Trial Review

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The Trial is definitely a very unique film because the whole thing is really crazy from start to finish. A short story is played before the movie starts about how the logic of a dream can always be hard to follow and that seems to be what they are going for with this film. Things don’t tend to make sense and it’s like a scene out of the Twilight Zone. It makes for a pretty fun adventure even if it does drag on a bit towards the end.

The movie starts with Josef K waking up to find that a bunch of people are in the room with him. They seem to be detectives…possibly but they don’t identify themselves. They cryptically tell Josef that he’s under suspicion of something but won’t mention any details. Josef just knows that he will be arrested soon and his coworkers aren’t being very helpful about this. He has a crush on his next door neighbor but she’s a lady of the night and so bad rumors have been spread around her. At least Josef is allowed to go to work while he is being accused but what can he really do to clear his name when he doesn’t know the charges?

Right from the start things are going batty but I would say that is where the film is at its strongest. The beginning is incredibly memorable. The whole film has a very spooky atmosphere to it but this has to be the scariest scene because you have to wonder if he is even able to leave the room. What’s waiting for him outside those doors? In theory it’s all normal outside those doors but after everything that has been going on it’s just hard to say for sure. The world seems very empty, nobody is on his side..well he has his uncle I guess.

It’s almost like Josef has entered a big conspiracy that he doesn’t remember joining. He makes for a pretty good main character for the most part but as the film goes on he starts to lose his willpower a bit. Of course he liked Ms. Burstner but then he lets himself get seduced by the mistress of his lawyer who seems to enjoy hearing about her adventures. Josef ends up not really having a lot of self respect for himself here. Sure he might be about to die here but even so he doesn’t need to go through with these affairs.

The “romance” if you can call it that is pretty weak here. It doesn’t really help with the trippy vibe or do anything to enhance the plot. It’s just sort of around and I would have cut that part out in order to save some time. It’s not like there’s any real emotion to this either which is part of the gag. Burstner was practically falling asleep when Josef was trying to get together with her which is rather embarrassing if you think about it.

At least Josef didn’t let this break him though. One character is thoroughly broken to the point where he kneels before the lawyer and degrades himself. Seriously that guy was a lost cause. After a point you may as well just face prison or the execution room instead of allowing yourself to be manipulated by this guy. If you’ve lost all your self respect then will your life really be as satisfying and complete as you had hoped?

I’ll give Hastler credit of course because somehow he pulled this off. He got clients who are so desperate for his help that they would do anything and that’s a skill in itself. He also was just an entertaining character in general as he was just chilling while everyone was so stressed out. The guy had fun just running his mouth the whole time and you really didn’t know how much if anything of what he was saying was actually true or not. There just wasn’t any way to tell.

Then the film will randomly introduce minor characters who don’t actually add anything to the plot. For example Josef’s younger cousin who shows up randomly and then vanishes as soon as she had appeared. You have this lady with a robotic leg helping pack Burstner’s things and then she doesn’t really appear again. Even Grubach sort of vanishes after the opening scenes. Characters will disappear and then reappear as needed but sometimes they won’t reappear at all so this way you’re always kept guessing. The police detectives from the start of the film looked pretty tough but then things go downhill for them after that.

I’m sure people have probably written long essays explaining exactly what happened here but for the most part I feel like you can come to your own conclusions. You can absolutely analyze what was going on and make some kind of full story out of it but part of the fun is in how vague the whole thing is. I feel like this whole movie is a dream but of course it’s more fun if we take it as being very literal. In that case Josef probably was framed as some kind of huge conspiracy. I guess he made some very powerful enemies and that’s a good way to just vanish unexpectedly.

As mentioned earlier my only real issue with the film is that it does drag a little bit. The first half is a lot more exciting in a lot of ways because you’re being introduced to the world and how crazy it is. You get to be as shocked as Josef is at how things are playing out. Somewhere towards the middle of the film it just doesn’t have the same wow factor going on so while crazy things are still happening, it’s not as crazy as that bold intro. The ending definitely keeps the crazy factor in though so that was good.

I wouldn’t mind seeing more films operating on dream logic like this. You still need quality writing to pull it off so it doesn’t ultimately feel pointless or boring after all. You can probably allow it to be a little pointless but you need to be entertained all the way through. Ultimately Josef probably should have just tried fighting these guys. In dreams people usually can’t fight as much so mow through them and reclaim your freedom!

Now in terms of the story I’ll give my quick interpretation here. So the way I see it, one of Josef’s coworkers was jealous of him. Probably the nosy one who was snooping through the neighbor’s room. That guy also had a crush on her so he needed to bump Josef off which he did by giving the cops some incriminating evidence that Josef was dealing drugs. That’s why they were searching his apartment. Additionally the reason they let him go back to work was so they could find where he had the stash. I think it works about as well as you can do it with all these variables here.

Overall, Dreams are a blast when you have them but it’s hard to summon a dream on command. So watching a film like this is definitely the next best option. It may not be perfect but it’s very entertaining and that’s what counts. You definitely need to go into it with the right mindset but if you do then I think you’ll have a good time. I’m sure it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but that’s how it goes with being unique. This really could have turned into a horror film if the writers wanted to go that way so I think there’s potential for that within this crazy sub genre of sorts.

Overall 6/10

Starman Review

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Starman is one of those films that seemed a little iffy right out of the gate. The whole plot involves an alien impersonating Jenny’s husband and calling it a day. And this film is going to be part romance? Uh ohhhhhhhh. Yeah this is why the film was never going to get particularly far. Throw in that the pacing can be slow and the main character is super annoying and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

The film starts off with an alien crash landing to Earth after the government shot down his space ship. He has 7 orgs/magic spells at the ready and uses one to tell his people that Earth is dangerous. He then sees a widow named Jenny and decides to shapeshift into her dead husband. The alien is now “Scott” but he knows nothing about human customs, their ways, or even about talking. So he gets to work on learning all of this and until he does, he figures Jenny will be his prisoner. Jenny has to try and escape quickly before she falls victim to Stockholm syndrome. Will she be up to the task?

Yeah the romance here is just bad. Since her husband is dead, you would think that the last thing Jenny would tolerate is an alien shapeshifter. I would argue that a normal rebound is even better than this because at least it’s a different person. Choosing to get together with someone who looks like your husband but isn’t is just really eery and not something you should be doing. I would also argue that there is no reason for her to fall for him at all. He basically kidnapped her and then held her against her will for a long while. At what point would that really turn into some kind of admiration? I’m not buying it, no sirrrrrrrr. He basically got her pregnant through alien magic too and she was cool with it.

Jenny started out by being a tough character but started breaking down as the film went on. I would have preferred that she knocked “Scott” out early on and then escaped. She doesn’t have to help the government since those guys were real shady the whole time but not falling in love with this guy is the baseline requirement to being a really solid character here. The romance should have been cut out entirely.

It’s not even to say that “Scott” is a bad guy but I would still put him as more antagonistic than anything. While it takes him a while to learn the human customs so he isn’t intending to be a bad person, you can’t forget that he was completely threatening Jenny. This guy also seemed serious about it and while you know that he is changing, it’s not like you can just quickly see that and get together with him at the drop of a hat. It just doesn’t work like that by any stretch.

The film also suffers in large part due to “Scott” and how long it takes him to get used to Earth. It’s one of those tropes I’ve never been a big fan of where it takes him forever to understand what’s going on. So you see him make a lot of goofy faces, not know how to respond, etc. These scenes take forever and I just really prefer to have a character who is on the ball the whole time. Someone who knows what is going on and is ready to act. With his magic powers surely he could have used one of them to immediately understand human customs or something right? He comes far by the end but at first all of his scenes are absolutely brutal. You’ll be cringing a whole lot and that hurts the pacing.

Meanwhile the government makes for a decent villain but there isn’t a lot to them. They hire a freelancer to help out but that was the government’s mistake as he clearly had disdain for them from the start and instead of helping out he basically makes sure to get in their way the whole time. Seriously they would have been better off without him. In general while the government does get close at times, they rarely feel like much of a threat.

That’s why to add tension we see a deer die which was pretty regrettable. It’s a way for “Scott” to see how cruel the world is and how people hunt other animals. Fortunately he does use his abilities to revive it but it’s a scene that we didn’t really need. Still I wouldn’t say the film was ever aimless or anything. I wasn’t big on that scene of course but the film did have a plan the whole time and went ahead with it. You could easily transform this into a really fun film if you switch up the genre a bit. Have it be a thriller where “Scott” needs to evade the government until his backup arrives. Then we get a classic alien invasion film or something like that. You have to admit that would definitely be a lot of fun!

Of course if you really want to make this plot work, just don’t have Starman turn into her husband. Have him be an ordinary joe and gradually she falls for him. I think you’d still need to bypass all of the threats and such though for this to even be a conversation. Additionally it’s best for her to not even have a dead husband so that it’s not a big rebound like that. That would be an immediate upgrade to the plot and it’s not even that hard to pull off.

Overall, Starman isn’t a particularly good film. I would say that it starts off on the wrong foot with the romance right out of the gate. It’s just hard to get past that because it’s such a bad romance plot that only serves to actively harm the film. It’s hard to survive when one of your main genres is holding you back after all. There’s just no escape from that. Then mix in how Starman’s initial scenes really drag on and that doesn’t help either. To an extent it’s probably trying to be funny but give me the witty fast talking kind of humor over the slow on the uptake version any time. I’d say to avoid this film. The title sounds cool for sure but the actual film isn’t quite up to par.

Overall 3/10

Prophecy Review

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When you have a film about mutated animals running around often times it isn’t going to end well for the movie. This one was no exception as you’ll be shaking your head the whole time with the animal violence. The idea of the characters wandering into an area with a lot of radiation and creatures running around could be something more like Godzilla but that wasn’t the case here.

The movie starts off with Robert being asked to go look into a fight between some Native Americans and a lumber company. Robert asks why he would possibly be asked to do this and he’s basically just told to stop asking questions. Well, if he’s going to do this job then he’ll do it right and since he works for the EPA he looks into the radiation. Unfortunately this area is ignoring all environmental standards and toxic sludge is being tossed around. This sludge not only causes birth defects but seems to be triggering some kind of changes within the lifeforms around here. What can Robert do about this?

For the drama angle we have his wife Maggie who is pregnant with their future child and of course this is bad news for her. Any kind of birth complication would be particularly worrisome. Then there’s also the fact that Robert really doesn’t want kids. I forget if Maggie just forgot to use protection that time or if she just really wanted the kids, or if the film even addressed that. Either way she isn’t quite sure how to mention this to him so that causes a lot of tension.

Now if you are with someone who expressly says that they don’t want kids before you get married then you already know the score and shouldn’t try to mess with that. If it’s an accident then of course there’s nothing you can do about it so the context is important for this angle. Either way I wouldn’t say it adds a lot to the film since we’re here for the action, not for this romance plot which is definitely not the highlight anyway. Neither character ends up looking all that good by the end of that plot.

Maggie’s a bit too timid in bringing the topic up before it’s far too late. Once she was hearing about the sludge she should have let him know. Meanwhile Robert was so absorbed in what was going on that he didn’t pay her much attention at all. He at least tries to diffuse tensions within the camp but rarely does all that good a job of it. This guy’s a researcher, not a fighter so don’t expect him to get a ton of fight scenes.

Isely represents the company in this movie so naturally he is fairly corrupt and can’t really be reasoned with. When John and the tribe try to stop him from going further he nearly murders one of them. Of course he had to go through for his job and could have definitely knocked them around a bit but of course murdering them is never the answer. John is the leader of the tribe or at least the main acting member and he tries hard to protect the tribe’s interests but the plans aren’t always very well thought out. Standing in front of the jeep with the rest of the characters would just make it easy to be run over. Ultimately corporate would do that in order to save a few bucks.

Of course at the end of the day the movie is fairly standard in a lot of ways so it would have been fine without the animal angle. What really sinks it is what happens at that point. You have animals getting poisoned and dying out, being eaten, and then of course the final bear monster which looks incredibly deformed. It seems to be in pain just by existing. While the film’s about the Katahdin monster, it’s safe to say that this was still just an average bear. Even if it was film budget limitations that insisted on this, it doesn’t change that it wasn’t the big hyped hybrid.

Having a bear as the final boss is regrettable because of course that means the characters have to be attacking it even when it’s just trying to save its cub and take down the pesky humans. This is a problem all films involving antagonist animals have to deal with and it doesn’t leave the movie a lot of hope for making a comeback. Animal violence basically becomes unavoidable at that point.

It’s not like the film has any aspect that really sticks out to try and combat this either. It’s really a very standard film all things considered. There’s also one scene that will have you puzzled where John stays in the water for a very long time as the bear approaches. You fully expect it to pop out of the water and grab the guy but surprisingly in the 11th hour he manages to get up and run away. A bit of a pointless scene then right? Why was he even staying in the water? You can’t tell me he was so exhausted that he couldn’t move because adrenaline should take care of that real quick.

Overall, Prophecy is a title that probably won’t make you think about evil animals right away. Of course that is a bit misleading since it’s all the pollution’s fault. Not like the animals wanted to turn giant or deformed. That said, the movie ended up being pretty bad due in large parts to the very realistic effects for the deformed animals and the plot in general. It could be hard to look at the bear or the other animals directly in general. Throw in the romance plot that really didn’t add anything at all and this film was sliding downhill the whole time. I highly recommend avoiding this one and in general you will want to avoid films with an animal at the end like this. Trust me they aren’t going to stand out.

Overall 1/10

The Cincinnati Kid Review

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It’s always tragic when you have a film that is executing the story at a really high level but then it gets bogged down by scenes that don’t actually enhance the plot. The actual gambling scenes are excellent and I love the tension/build up to the final battle. Unfortunately along the way the film stumbles into some really unfortunate animal violence and the main character is as weak willed as they come. This makes for a very dicey part of the film that drags the rest down with it.

The movie starts off by introducing us to the Kid who is an excellent poker player. In fact he’s so good that he has to go out of town to find new opponents now because everyone in the city owes him a ton of money. He’s just a natural at this kind of thing and now the world’s greatest player Lancey is in town. Their battle is sure to shake the entire planet but can The Kid win? If he does then he will become “The Man” and everyone will respect him forever. However, if he loses then all is lost because he’s staked everything on this. What he doesn’t know is that the shady Mr. Slade also wants the Kid to win even if it means pulling a few strings.

The only thing worse than losing a match is realizing that you only won because someone was cheating. That’s the dilemma that The Kid runs into here with all this match fixing going around. Slade works well as the main villain with how he’s always threatening everyone and pulling his weight around. You really don’t want to go up against that guy in the ring. That said, it would be nice if everyone could just resist like The Kid did. He wasn’t going to play ball at any time and that’s the right move.

Unfortunately Shooter is a lot weaker willed. It was a shame that he couldn’t resist the blackmail at all. Yeah it involves his wife Melba and her past but lets face it she doesn’t care who knows about that. In fact she seems proud to flaunt how available she is at every point as she keeps on rubbing Shooter’s nose in it. The guy has no self respect as she uses and abuses him the whole time. That’s why I didn’t like Shooter. Even if he hadn’t started cheating at the end, he really needs to know when it’s time to cut your losses. He’s sacrificed everything for her and it’s clear that it would never be enough.

Of course Melba is a very bad character as well. She clearly doesn’t mind cheating at all and seems to enjoy bringing everyone down to her level. She is a bad influence to all of the characters. If you’re her friend then she will find a way to take you down as well. That’s just who she is at this point. Now is where I have to take some shots at The Kid as well though. Sure his skills are good and I like the confidence but as a character he has to take a big thumbs down here.

For starters he actually does let Melba seduce him on more than one occasion. He completely betrays his girlfriend in these moments and it’s why the ending of the film is not deserved in the slightest. The Kid has no degree of self control or self respect whatsoever and it’s just a shame to see that. His girlfriend Christian deserved a whole lot better than what she got and she should stay away from him after that. Her parents didn’t seem to like him much at all and their gut instincts were right here.

Then there is also the scene where he has his rooster fight someone else’s. Animal fights have long since been banned fortunately and maybe even at the time they were. The Kid knew his way around the underworld so that might be what this is but the whole fight should not have been in the movie at all. It’s a really bad moment and it gets rather violent too. Especially since there was no CGI back then I worry about the animals used for this shot. I like to think they’re okay but either way the film itself doesn’t get a pass for that scene. Just bad stuff all around.

So I would say the only good character in the film would have to be Lancey. Christian takes some fault as well for being a bit too naïve and also for doubting her own instincts of leaving. Lancey at least was doing his best to win the whole time and wasn’t about to get distracted. No, he’s in it to win and you can see how he became the champion. At the end of the day he never lost concentration and also didn’t give up even when he was losing in the fight. Poker is about luck to a good extent but there is also a lot of skill involved. You have to be able to defeat your opponent mentally as well as with your deck. That’s the only way that you’re going to be able to pull this off.

I liked how the film showed the characters practicing their math too since that is really how you can try to make Poker into a game of science. Memorize the cards that have been played and then you have to make a snap judgment on if you take the bet or not. Nothing’s a sure bet but it makes sense that knowing the cards that have been dealt will help you with the odds. Then if you play enough with the law of averages you should come out better than someone who is just playing wild. So there was a lot of thought put into this.

It’s the most detailed Poker game that I’ve seen in any movie thus far and it’s handled perfectly. I love the atmosphere and intensity of the games and if the film had purely stuck to that then it would have been great. The pacing and writing were also on point so you were really invested in what was happening. The Kid just needed to stay strong but either way I was rooting for Lancey since the hero made way too many mistakes like with the roosters and then with Melba.

Overall, The Cincinnati Kid is a very entertaining movie. It never lets up from start to finish and so there are a lot of moments that will have you at the edge of your seat. I just couldn’t recommend it though because the low moments hit really hard like the rooster battle. Even all the cheating and horrible romance doesn’t hurt the film quite as much as that sequence did. It’s just hard to fall that hard but of course all of the scenes really add up. I loved part of the ending, it was all great except for the very last scene which also ends things on a bit of a whimper. I’m really tempted to bump this one more star up the middle but ultimately I couldn’t do it. For a tense film, check out Demon Slayer the movie instead.

Overall 4/10

The Second Time Around Review

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The Second Time Around is one of those films where you’ve got a pretty decent setup for a wild west film but it doesn’t take itself all that seriously and gets lost in the sauce. You can do a pretty good parody if you want or make this a full comedy but in the end this one didn’t do either of that. The romance actually ends up bringing it down. It’s still reasonably entertaining at times but has enough flaws to prevent me from calling it a good movie.

The movie starts with a lady named Lu heading to the wild west to get a job so that she can provide for her kids. As a single mother it ain’t easy ever since her husband died while on duty. Still, she is ready to do something about this but the job falls through and she only manages to get by thanks to the grace of an old lady named Aggie. Aggie decides to help Lu out which is great but helping out with odd jobs isn’t going to be enough to pay the bills. Perhaps if Lu were to become Sheriff then she could change things but the town is a corrupt one with a lot of powerful players. Can Lu really hold her own when she is new to the area?

Really where the film breaks down is the romance as I mentioned so lets jump right to that. Dan and Pat both fall in love with Lu as soon as she appears. Dan is the bad boy of the town who operates an illegal gambling/beer joint while paying off the corrupt sheriff to keep it operational. Naturally that means Lu does not have a whole lot of respect for the guy. That being said, he has a quick wit which makes it easy to fool her.

Then you have Pay the nice guy. He plays things by the book and wants to win her over the right way. Of course you know that means he’s probably doomed here since things always get tough for the nice guy. It’s part of the film that will have you shaking your head. Now by no means am I saying Lu should have gone with him. Being a nice guy doesn’t mean you’re owed anything in the slightest and if he’s not her type then that’s it. It’s not about who lost but about who won. See part of what hurts here is how far Dan goes.

He tricks Lu into going out with him into the mountains because he knows that she needs money for her kids. So he claims there is gold up there and even plants some so she could get a bit and then ideally fall for him since he helped her out so much. He even takes the chance to steal a few kisses from her during the movie which is always an extremely bad look. Seriously you can’t come back from that so Lu somehow liking him in the end anyway is pretty crazy. This is the kind of film that is throwing in a romance that doesn’t need to be there.

I’m cool with them becoming friends in the end. He helped save her life at the end after all so maybe they call it square but actually getting together with him? Nahhhh that’s definitely no good. It also means that the film has a pretty weak cast since Dan is supposed to be one of the likable characters. You just can’t really end up liking him after all of that. It’s just way too late for him to even begin to mount a comeback.

I don’t mind Pat all that much. He’s a likable guy but a little too timid and slow to act. So he does lose some points for that. Then we have the main villain as the Sheriff. I knew the guy was corrupt from the start but I didn’t really suspect just how corrupt he was. Definitely one of the more petty villains but at least he gave the film a little danger along with the rest of the bandits. Unfortunately this shows why Lu would not make for a good sheriff.

See at the end of the day you need a sheriff who can really fight. Someone who is an excellent shot with a gun or something like that. If Lu could shoot down everyone in her way then of course it makes sense for her to lead. But she goes down so effortlessly against the villains without even putting up a fight. I’d say that is what really hurts her in the end. If the film could have at least had her defeat a few fighters first then that would have absolutely helped a whole lot.

Aggie was a nice character although she didn’t do a whole lot here. The fact that she gave Lu a place to be where she could earn money was nice of her though. So all in all you can see why this film didn’t rank as highly as it could. It ended up being rather jumbled with no really strong aspects to the film. It wasn’t particularly going for a comedic angle so there weren’t a ton of jokes to keep it afloat. The fight scenes on average weren’t all that good for one of these films and of course the romance was really not good.

If they toned down how naïve Lu was and made her a little more skilled that would have done the film a world of good. I do think there is a decent film somewhere in here but it’s buried really deep. It’s not even an awful film or anything like that but I wouldn’t call it a good one. Ultimately you will want to give this one a skip. Lu didn’t even get to keep the gold she got since she threw it away in rage. I have to say that I would have kept the gold. Planted there for me to find or not, it’s mine now and gold was worth a whole lot back then. You really want to keep it.

Overall, You can even tell from the title of the film how this is going to be about a rebound. I already don’t care much for rebound romances so making that the very center of the movie is already starting things off on the wrong foot. If you’re going to do a classic story of two guys fighting over the girl then don’t add the dead husband in the first place. Just make it an initial romance and that’s already a much more wholesome plot. It’s still not going to save the fact that Dan’s such a bad character but it’s the attempt that counts.

Overall 4/10

Where the Wild Things Are Review

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This is one of those movies that didn’t have a lot of potential since the main character is just a kid but even then it went lower than I expected. One of the big problems with the film is really that it gets really boring. For the most part I want to say that nearly every film has something really engaging in it. Something that you can sink your teeth into and have a good time but that wasn’t the case with this one. You’re just waiting for it to end and a big reason for that is the annoying main character.

The movie starts with Max building a snow castle but he is bored by himself. He tries to get his sister and her friends to play with him but in the process they break his snow castle so he cries for a while. He decides to embarrass his mother next and then runs away from home. This is where he falls into the land of the monsters and decides to be their king. Fortunately none of them are even remotely smart so they don’t mind working for a kid but is this really the life that he wishes to lead?

Now you may have suspicions on if this is really happening or not but I won’t spoil that for you. All I will say is that the film really does feel aimless for almost the entire run which is really my problem with it. Look, the monster designs aren’t even that cool when you really think about it. I personally didn’t find them scary but I also didn’t find them interesting. It’s like a bad episode of Barney but without the wholesome messages the whole time. Sure, you sort of see what they’re doing as these monsters help Max to see what a jerk he had been but it’s soooo drawn out.

Also, it really hurts that they made Max as unlikable as possible. It’s hard to really be sympathetic to him when he’s causing all of these problems. For example when the kids broke his igloo, sure that wasn’t very fun but it was part of the game and they didn’t realize how bad it was. At least one kid turned around so you know that he knew they went too far but ultimately he left. Max was a little too dependent on them there and should have just kept on keeping on. He got to play with the others for a bit so that should have made him happy.

Then later on his Mom tried her best to help him out and he rewards this by biting her and being a general pest while her rebound boyfriend was around? Nah that’s a really bad look and I’d argue that he never gets much better during the course of the film. With the monsters he tends to be very slow on the uptake and only survives because the creatures aren’t very smart.

It makes for a bit of a cringeworthy kind of film. You have a hard time watching the movie with a straight face. Now granted, I can absolutely see this being fun when you’re a young kid in some instances but I wouldn’t recommend this to a kid because it can be a little intense. The opening scene with the dog for example sets a really bad example. I also thought the dog should have shown up more later on because for a while there I was nervous that he died or something.

That’s not the case but it was a horrible way to open up the film. Worst scene there by far and it shows that Max doesn’t even have any basic common sense. You don’t run around with a fork while terrorizing your pet. That’s just not done and makes him look so bad. So with a main character like Max then you’re just not going to get very far with this film. Additionally for the vast majority of the film he is the only human character. You can’t banter off of the monsters so that means he has to try and hold the whole film by himself which is basically impossible. Trust me he is not up to the task at all.

I think if you really wanted to succeed with this plot then you needed more of a true main villain. An evil king running around and then you have his mom, sister, and the friends all appear as figures within the dream. It would be something more like Narnia for example with maybe a mix of Alice in Wonderland in there. The idea of a kid trying to run away from his problems into a fantasy world is nothing new. It’s been done many times before and done quite well I might add. This one doesn’t work though because it doesn’t have that focus and everything takes so long to happen. I’ve gone into the pacing a lot because it’s just so absolutely critical.

The monsters here are all just really annoying. They are easily tricked and barely serve a function beyond just being convenient figures for the main character to manipulate. Put him in a world with almost any other kind of creature and that would be game over. Mix it with the rather grim setting and they don’t stand out at all. Maybe if you couldn’t have the world be bright, at least make the monsters have bright costumes or something. I think that could have worked out a little better. The film’s chronic issues wouldn’t be fixed so it’s not like this would turn everything around but it would be a start.

Overall, This film had the issue of having the deck stacked against it from the start. Having a kid as the main character rarely works and certainly not one this unlikable. The story takes forever to move and even by the end I wouldn’t say that it ever got really high tier or anything like that. Eh there’s just not much of a reason to watch this one so stick away and just watch a more engaging picture. You’ve got options out there.

Overall 2/10

Airport (1975) Review

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Now it’s time to venture into the second Airport film. It’s actually a good film across the board but the problem with it is similar to the problems that Airplane 2 had. It’s just weaker than the original one in pretty much every way. In a vacuum the movie is perfectly acceptable and you won’t have any problems with it but at the same time you feel like it could do so much more with the concept. Also, the premise on the poster is better than the whole movie. “The Crew is dead” would have made for a really intense plot. Like only the stewardess is left to try and survive. Then of course you would need more scenes on the ground to balance this.

So this movie starts by introducing us to a lot of characters getting ready to board their plane. You have some travelling nuns, a sick child who badly needs a rib/kidney transplant, a stewardess who wants to get into a serious relationship, etc. Everyone is stressed and ready to get going but the plane ends up colliding with another one so now the plane is going to go down unless they can find a way to land this craft without the pilot. It’s going to take a lot of teamwork with the ground crew but this is the moment to surpass all of their limits!

I know what you’re thinking here. The film is called “Airport” so what about the airport scenes? Well unfortunately there aren’t a whole lot of those this time. The plane takes off fairly early in the film and the vast majority of the scenes take place up there. You do have scenes in the subplot with the grounds crew trying to direct the stewardess but very few scenes in the airport itself. I think that’s the biggest shame here because you need that for proper setup. When you jump right into the plane then you lose a whole lot.

For example, I would make the case that virtually every plot in the first film is more developed than this one. The cast of characters is a lot stronger and even the bomb threat was a lot more engaging than the collision plot here. The main problem is there are only so many ways you can drag out the tension on a small plane like this. After a while everyone is just panicking in the same ways and it doesn’t feel like a whole lot of progress is being made. That’s really the roughest part here. The movie quickly runs out of material.

Nancy is a good main character. She does a good job controlling the plane and doing her best to get it back up during the emergency. You have to give her a lot of credit there and yet the scenes do go on a bit too long. There’s a lot of yelling and reading out what’s on the panels a lot. The film is going for maximum realism here and I’m sure anyone familiar with the inner workings of the plane will get an extra kick out of that but as a viewer you can’t help but wish they could speed things up a little bit. This plays out more like an airplane simulator at times than a few movie and the first film had a much better balance on that.

It’s still not enough to make this movie go into the red of course but keeps it from a higher score. Same with the writing in general. You may crack a smile at some moments but it’s not nearly as funny as the original one. Some of the characters really just see like jerks the whole time although at least there is less cheating going on. For example one character keeps panicking and taking shots at all of the staff when he should be more focused on letting everyone concentrate. I wouldn’t say it’s unrealistic because there are absolutely people like that but he gets annoying fast.

People just panic so much when the plane is in the air and you’d figure they would know there is nothing that can be done and would just calm down. After a while that’s the only sensible thing to do. Then on the ground I think they could have given better instructions to Nancy on how to fly the plane out. It’s not like driving it is easy but the instructions to turn didn’t seem that bad if they didn’t take forever to get each instruction out.

At the end of the day the pacing here was definitely shot from the jump. The pilots weren’t the most likable ones like the young one who was constantly flirting. At least the older one stayed respectable for the most part but ultimately he does get written out of most of the film. The movie will definitely remind you why flying is always a risk and to try and get some sleep so you won’t notice what is going on. One guy did that for the whole film and it ended up being a great idea since he had no stress.

Fortunately there aren’t any particularly bad scenes that will have you groaning though. The reason why I can still call this a good film is because it’s not hard to watch. It may drag on at some points to be sure but you can still get through those moments. The effects on the plane were good too. Some of the subplots introduced don’t even really get resolved which is interesting in a subversive way. The film ends rather quickly and for the most part you can assume how all of the plots ended up. Some in positive ways and some in negative but at the end of he day it didn’t really need an aftermath. Life just went on.

Overall, Airport 1975 is a film that doesn’t feel like it serves much purpose in the grand scheme of things. You aren’t likely to remember it after a while and for sure it will be overshadowed by the original as well as the fun parody Airplane. Still, I’d be able to recommend this film easily enough. You just have to have a high tolerance for listening to the characters talk about the details of how to fly the plane for a very, very long time and it’s all played very seriously. The movie doesn’t really take much time for humor and I think it could have used more jokes. Like I said earlier though, this film’s sort of like an airplane simulator insead.

Overall 6/10

Harriet Craig Review

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Now it’s time to look at another movie where the plot only works if the main guy looks really bad. He definitely takes the cake for being oblivious and weak willed here. Now to an extent if he knew what was going on and chose to ignore it then that wouldn’t be as bad. It would be like going down the simp route and then that’s that. It’s a dicey decision but it would have been his to make, but being oblivious is far worse. That’s something that is really hard to get around and makes his character unsalvageable.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Harriet and Walter who appear to be a perfectly happy couple. They get along great and all but as the film goes on we see that this isn’t what it appears to be. Harriet rules the house with an iron fist as she completely controls Walter’s movements, who he hangs out with, etc. She disrespects everyone around her and so Walter’s maids and friends dislike her but none of them have the guts to tell Walter directly. Meanwhile poor Walter is in the palm of her hands.

Whenever Walter is about to go out with his friends Harriet quickly lets him get some action so he has to cancel his appointment while she manages to drive a further wedge between all of them. Walter ultimately doesn’t even realize that it has been years since he has seen his friends. Slowly he is starting to get to experience life again and when his job offers Walter a promotion Harriet realizes that she needs to hurry and chain Walter up again before it’s too late. Can she end up securing the trophy?

So lets go back to Walter for a moment. Here’s the deal, there are some guys who don’t mind sacrificing everything to be with their girl. She can be as toxic as possible but he’s cool with it as long as he still has her. That’s problematic in its own way but as least he’s in control. What makes this worse for Walter is that he doesn’t realize the situation that he’s in and just thinks things are normal.

How did he not realize that he hadn’t seen his friends in multiple years? How did he not realize that they all couldn’t stand his wife? Then we have Harriet telling him to be careful where he sits, use a coaster, etc. Seriously he’s basically a guest in his own house which is messed up. Then she is always mean to the hired help and this guy doesn’t notice a thing. Now they definitely should have approached him but there are limits to how oblivious you can be. In the end he only really figures this out thanks to someone helping him out. Even then he nearly made the wrong move and let her back in until another twist.

The film is tragic in the sense that I’m sure a lot of people get fooled like this. Especially in real life there can always be a ton of small deceptions all around you that are much harder to detect. Such is the tricky battle of love and hoping that you know someone’s true nature before it’s too late. You have to try and notice if things don’t make sense and if others feel like you’ve changed. If everyone says you’re a bit different now then that’s worth looking into.

It would just have been nice if Walter could have been a little more aware. Instead things get awful tricky for him and it’s nearly too late in the end. Meanwhile Harriet makes for an intense villain although she certainly does get sloppy in the end. If Harriet hadn’t been quite as bold then she probably could have still stopped Walter but ultimately her mad quest for power is what got her. She just couldn’t hold back her controlling ways any further.

The writing is solid here and it’s an engaging story. Ultimately it is just held back by how annoying Walter is and how everyone just takes it from Harriet. It would be nice if they fought back a little bit and made it hard for her. There are a ton of ways you can counter attack. Frame her, make up some stuff, or the obvious and easy thing to do…tell Walter. He won’t just disregard the words of the maid he’s known for even longer than his wife. It just doesn’t make sense that everyone was so quiet here. They made it all way too easy for Harriet which is why the plot doesn’t work if everyone was being reasonable.

At the end of the day being married is supposed to be a fun thing so if your quality of life takes a nosedive then you need to figure it out. At the end of the day that’s why playing life on solo mode can always feel real appealing. At least the film gives us a glimpse of a relationship that should go well in Clare’s subplot. In theory that should work out at least so the film’s showing that things don’t have to be like this. Props to the film for not trying to make Harriet sympathetic at any point though. She gets a backstory but it’s clear from the jump that she is heavily overreacting and still went down the wrong path.

Overall, This is a movie that doesn’t have a lot of replay value because it’ll be hard to go through the whole thing. It’s not like it has a lot of issues but the contrived story is something that does take quite a few points away. Honestly just make Walter aware of everything and it makes the film a whole lot better. He would still stink as a character but at least it would make a lot more sense. Would have been an intense moment if at the end he admitted that he noticed everything but thought that being with Harriet was still worth it. In the end though he just wasn’t quick enough to keep up with her and that was his downfall.

Overall 5/10

The Hand that Rocks The Cradle Review

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This review is based on the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

There are some films where you wonder how the plot can work without the main characters looking awful and then you realize that they just do look awful and that’s how the film happens. This should be over in a few minutes if the main characters played it smart tbh but that’s how it goes I guess. I’d say this film’s more of a skip, you don’t really need to check it out.

The movie starts off with Claire and her husband Michael getting ready for her next baby to be born. Unfortunately the doctor at the clinic turns out to be a full criminal and takes advantage of Claire so they sue him and the guy quickly deletes himself. His wife tries to stay strong but fails and when she faints her baby is lost. The wife swears revenge on the main characters and changes her alias to Peyton. Peyton quickly heads to the house and is immediately hired by Claire to be the nanny to help out around the house. Now Peyton can begin work on splitting the family apart and ultimately murdering Claire. How will she pull this off though?

So it turns out that letting a random stranger into your house without any real background checks can be a real danger eh? Peyton starts misplacing items, destroying reports, and basically making Claire look really bad since it’s like she’s losing her mind. Peyton makes sure to threaten the gardener, manipulate Claire’s older daughter against her, and even directly handle the baby far more often than Claire so he stops liking her. Yes it’s all very easy…because the characters make it easy. Seriously none of this should be working out at all.

First off we have Peyton hanging out with the baby more than Claire. Claire should be with the baby as often as possible. Sure, she’s busy but why is Peyton basically left all day to give the baby walks, put her to bed, etc? That should still all be Claire’s duty and not because it’s a job but because you want to be with your baby right? Claire does have asthma and can get sickly at times but not all the time so this always felt a little forced. When you’ve just had a kid you’re usually going to be staying around the house a lot. I know they hired a nanny for a reason but yeah this was not a good idea.

Put it this way, even if Peyton wasn’t evil, it’s still possible that the kid and baby would end up bonding with the nanny over the parents if they spent so much more time with her. It just makes sense. It also would help if the parents actually listened a bit more. When Peyton frames the gardener, they don’t even try to listen to their daughter about how it was all fixed. Yeah the evidence was pretty bad so I wouldn’t expect them to be too reasonable but at least listen to her side for a bit right?

For the most part I would say that Peyton’s not even that subtle about all of this. Wearing her necklace as if to boast about how she’s the mother now, her seduction attempt on the husband, etc. At least to the guy’s credit he never cracks or comes close to cracking on that front but these are all massive red flags. Peyton’s initial appearance was a huge red flag since she wasn’t from any agency and happened to be in the neighborhood? Cmon now it may be a beautiful day in the neighborhood but you don’t just happen to be wandering around one.

Then even once they find out Peyton is the villain and have to take her down they handle is horribly. The husband lets himself get thrown down a flight of stairs and the main heroine’s stab attempt didn’t go very well. This is why you need to at least know some basic self defense. Or if you’re going to run, then run right away. Waiting at the house to pack everything up is always going to take way too long when you have a villain on the loose. You feel bad for Claire’s best friend quite a lot since she was at least making some headway but got way too sloppy towards the end. The classic reverse psychology trick worked on her.

The whole deception to make Claire jealous by revealing that her husband was hanging out with the friend was also really contrived. Look, surprise parties can be fun but never if it means lying to your wife about it. What matters more, keeping the secret or keeping her trust? It should be a really obvious decision or at least I would hope that it is. That’s where you just tell her that there is a surprise party coming up and to keep it on the downlow or something like that.

He has to know how it would look since the friend was an old ex of his. In general you don’t want your husband or wife to hang out with an ex in general, let alone in secret. Now it all comes down to trust so if you’re comfortable with your partner still seeing an ex then hey, power to you. Me personally? Nahhhhhhh, the ex needs to leave the picture completely. It’s way too dangerous to keep an ex around so there’s no hanging out as friends after that. It’s tough terms but that’s just how it has to be in order to keep the relationship strong.

Then you have Solomon who has a rather tragic role for most of this. He’s disabled so he already has a tough time explaining himself or talking so when he’s framed there isn’t a whole lot that he can do about it. He’s just trying to help but he’s in a really tough position the whole time. Especially since you see this coming right from the start of the movie, you can only watch and wait for the inevitable.

Aside from the story being rather weak and forced, the movie just isn’t generally high quality. Using the doctor for shock value at the start of the move is a whole scene that could have been completely skipped. Make up some other reason for revenge, but starting off the movie with Claire being attacked like that was pretty bad. The film also had some obvious fanservice in feeding the baby and while that shows how insane Peyton is in her role, you definitely don’t need to linger on those moments. Mix in the sub par writing and you don’t have a winning movie here.

Overall, This is a movie that only works when all of the characters make the worst decisions as if this was a horror movie. The story only starts at all because they happened to pick Peyton out of all the available candidates without bothering to look into her records at all. Who wouldn’t do their due diligence when you have a baby and a kid in the house right? Then you have the husband randomly keeping a secret when he shouldn’t have, a “accident” murdering the friend and not immediately grabbing a shotgun, the important report completely vanishing, etc. At least Claire picks up on the list of odd coincidences later on but sure took her time in doing so. Yeah this is one you should definitely skip.

Overall 2/10

Going in Style Review

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I definitely like the title since it works well out of context and even better in context. This film on the whole is a pretty fun one. Some moments can drag a bit which does keep it from reaching the next level but all in all you should have a good time. It’s a fairly unique film since you don’t see too many about old people just hanging out.

The movie starts with Joe, Al, and Willie just hanging out on the bench as they always do. Joe has had enough of this though and tells the others about his brilliant plan to make their lives more exciting. They need to rob a bank and get rich so they can do all kinds of fun things. All their lives they have made ends meet and have had a good time but that’s about it. At this point if they are caught they will go to jail and live a comfortable life there or if they succeed then they can do whatever they want. His two friends are very skeptical but Joe gets them on board. In a way the real trick will not be in escaping from the bank with the money, but in keeping their freedom after that!

I would say the main positive in the film is the humor. The characters have a lot of fun banter and the humor is kept rather subtle and not super in your face but it works out well. The main characters have a good attitude about them and it’s easy to root for the group. The film has a pretty positive vibe overall there and so even when there isn’t a whole lot happening, you’re still having a good time here. Now the film does get more and more serious as it goes on so depending how you take the scenes it can throw a really somber tone onto the whole thing.

At the end of the day though, the characters got to have their big adventures and spice up the life a bit so I’d say it was really a win/win in the end. None of their lives ultimately got worse for it and so it was good. For that reason though I would have shortened some of the emotional scenes a bit and had the film keep up its quick pace. Those are the only scenes that could drag on a bit and of course that’s because it is the emotional center of the whole thing but even so I think you could have side stepped that a little bit.

The heist is pretty quick but made for a fun scene. You can definitely see how any heist can quickly turn violent as all it takes is one guy to try playing the hero and then the main characters would have to choose whether they shoot or get taken in. There’s no easy scenarios there which is why in the end it’s never good to steal. Of course in the film this is played off more as a fun thing but ultimately it doesn’t take away from the characters basically becoming criminals here. It may have spiced up their lives but it wasn’t the right thing to do.

As the brains of the operation Joe is definitely the best character here. He’s always coming up with the plans and is a very determined character. I feel as though the other two would have cracked if put into the same situations that he was in. Joe always stayed strong though and did his best to help everyone out. He wasn’t selfish about any of this and always put on a brave face even if he wasn’t doing well. He had all the makings of a true hero.

Al and Willie were really followers compared to Joe. They went along with this plan but if he didn’t say anything then they would have been content on the bench. In a lo of ways they are more laidback as a result. They don’t have grand ambitions and they don’t miss the things that they never got to try. Still, they’re good sports about the whole thing and the plan is absolutely more fun when it’s all 3 of them. I don’t think you could do as much with just one persona nd of course there would be a lot less banter that way.

We do get a rather long side tangent into the casino which doesn’t really affect the plot much. It was a good way to see them having some more fun but that one you probably could have added a little more variety too. It did subvert my expectations the whole time though since I was expecting things to go very badly for them. So in that way the film did use the tension very well.

Writing is key for a film like this because on its face the plot won’t sound all that exciting. This film is about day to day life and not end of the world type events. So if the writing wasn’t all that good then this film would be boring in the best case or awful in the worst case. That’s not a problem here which works out but I wonder if the new version would really be all that good. I’ll definitely be curious to see someday but yeah they did a good job with this one.

Overall, Going in Style could have been reworded to Going Out in Style but the former is a little more subtle while getting the same effect so it makes sense. To enjoy this film I think you really just have to have fun watching the characters just hang out and do things they’ve always wanted to do. It makes for a fun viewing even if my bucket list items would have been way different. Forget the casino, that’s never been all that tempting to me. I’d have gone to different food places around the world or something like that. Now that would have been exciting!

Overall 6/10