Tag Archives: Sci-Fi

Transformers Classified The Complete Mission Review

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It’s time to review the Transformers trilogy that came out a while back. These three books all take place in the film continuity, which can make longtime fans groan. Not to worry, you wouldn’t even notice if not for a few key references. None of the characters are quite as bad as the movie counterparts and the writing is certainly a lot better. This feels like a real Transformers adventure and it was a pretty fun ride from start to finish.

The first book is mostly the set up as we meet the Autobots and get to see them take down a few Decepticons. After that, we shift to Kevin’s point of view. He can’t get any homework done at his friend’s place due to a party that is going on so he heads off. He meets up with an Autobot named Gears who is currently looking for a special location to protect it from Decepticons. It ends up being hidden under a real government base so Kevin agrees to tag along so that he can finally get in on some action. Things get tricky when a Decepticon named Reverb tricks Ratchet into believing that he’s an Autobot and that they have to destroy Gears. This will definitely test the bonds of friendship between Autobots and Kevin will have to move quickly if he wants to survive this!

The second book gives Duane a bigger focus as he realizes that he needs to get closer to the heroes. He plans for his minions to steal some super tanks that a company has developed so he leads the heroes on a wild goose chase onto the next special facility. It actually turns out to be pretty useful and he works on earning Kevin’s trust while Reverb and the Decepticons attack the tanks and the Autobots. Can the heroes save the tanks or will they have to go back and make sure the Kevin and the scientists are okay. Meanwhile…when are they going to find Douglas?

Book 3 concludes the trilogy and I wish that I could say how it ended on a bang, but I really did prefer book 2. Duane places all of his cards on the table as he attacks with his tanks. The Autobots naturally counter, but a scientist decides to destroy all of the Transformers as he launches a satellite that will emit a code that will wipe them all out. Kevin and Gears decide that the satellite is the true priority and Reverb wants to live as well so a race against the clock starts. Meanwhile, we have insect worms that have invaded Earth and they are also attacking Douglas on the other planet. (Which actually gets a decent amount of screentime here as a subplot) One way or another…it all ends here!

Optimus Prime may not get a huge role in this trilogy, but it still may be a little bigger than you may have expected. He is guaranteed to get a fight in each of the three books and that’s always pretty fun. He takes down his the first Decepticon rather easily in book one and he also crushes the worms in the final book of the trilogy. (During the re match anyway) The only fight where Prime is on the losing side is when he faces off against Reverb and it’s mostly due to the fact that none of the Autobots or Decepticons are very athletic or quick, but I shall talk about that more in a bit. This is a pretty accurate depiction of Prime and he’s awarded the respect that he really deserves at this point. He seems to be a little more eager to convert Decepticons into Autobots here than usual, but he does ultimately want the war to be over. He can just be a little too naive in this when a single blast can change the course of a battle. He risks his spark with this decision more than once.

Gears is the main Autobot in this trilogy since he’s always hanging out with Kevin. His personality is pretty similar to Bulkhead’s or the green robot in Rescue Bots. He doesn’t really understand all of the Earth customs and such yet, but he still tries to help Kevin through his many hardships. Gears can be pretty cheesy though and he’s not the greatest fighter. He can definitely fight if he has too, but his leg is almost always injured. He beats Ratchet and Bumble Bee, but he’s not going to stand out after the trilogy ends.

Bumblebee looks pretty bad here. He doesn’t fall into any character holes, but the author must think that he’s the weakest Autobot of all time. Bumblebee doesn’t get to win any fights here and he is constantly crushed by random Decepticons. He always “talks” tough, but Bumblebee is the first one to hit the ground. He’ll charge at the villain, but they always seem to be quicker and stronger than him. It’s true that Bumblebee isn’t the toughest Autobot around, but he’s still a tough warrior and he gets the job done. I at least expect Bumblebee to put up a decent fight. That never happens here and Bumblebee’s role is very small, which doesn’t help either.

The only Autobot who may appear less than Bumblebee is Ratchet. Ratchet doesn’t look very good either since he can be worse than Prime when it comes to falling for Decepticon traps. The odds of Reverb actually being a hero are slim to none and he was very suspicious the entire time. Ratchet should have been prepared for such a course of action and he rarely helps during fight scenes. He has a cool buzzsaw, but you have to actually land attacks with it to make a difference. He gets to take down some of the worms and a Decepticon somewhere down the line, but he could have been a lot better. We need more fighters and less medics for the heroes!

Typically, I don’t like Ironhide, but he was actually pretty good here. He is always bragging or putting up a tough front. That can get old fast, but it’s good to see that at least one Autobot is always ready to fight. Considering how many Decepticons are around, The heroes definitely need more Ironhides. Despite his claims, Ironhide still isn’t that much tougher than the others. He has a lot of weapons, but he still struggles to beat a human tank and he is also quickly shut down by Reverb. He’s not a bad character, but he’s going to have to get stronger if he really wants to earn a rep. I am glad that he didn’t fall for Douglas’ tricks though.

Reverb is the main Decepticon and he’s really the only one to actually get a role here. He’s not ultimately powerful, but he can give Gears’ a good fight. He certainly knows how to get back on his feet though since he appears in all three books. He gets an energy shield, which immediately makes him stronger than the rest of the Autobots. It’s a little sad for the heroes, but it certainly gives Reverb bragging rights. He’s pretty generic, but as far as villains go, Reverb was all right. I should remember his name for a while now and he doesn’t let the humans boss him around.

Kevin is basically what you may expect from your average main character. The book does a good job of keeping him away from the romance angle and he just wants to have a good time. He does come with a tragic backstory though since his parents were taken out by Decepticons. Things get even worse for him after the first book as his brother is also taken away. Kevin manages to be pretty likable when he’s on screen although he can be a little wishy washy sometimes. He talks back to government officials as well as Autobots and Decepticons. Nothing can faze him and it’s pretty intense. He blew up at his friend in book 1 rather quickly though, which may make you doubt whether he makes for a good friend or not. All things considered, he’s a lot better than he could have been.

Duane is the main human villain of the trilogy. It’s not really a spoiler to say this because we find out pretty early on that he’s the main villain. He is rich and he just wants his Dad’s big inventions to fail so that he can prove to his father just how good he is. He’s willing to destroy just about anyone to further these ambitions and he’s very good at controlling technology. He can definitely be a handful for the heroes, but he definitely has the skills to prove why he can be useful to both sides. I think his character development in book 3 is very rushed though since an accident forces him to do a complete 180 on his plans. I don’t know…the whole thing happened without a lot of foreshadowing. It’s just hard to picture him changing so drastically because of the one event. I think the series may have been planned to be longer than 3 books or the author just lost track of time there. Still, Duane may be the best human villain that we’ve seen in Transformers since the Hunter in the original show.

Douglas is Kevin’s brother and he’s a pretty noble character. The author tries to portray him as the ultimate hero. He’s a tough commander, but he still makes time to joke around and become buddies with all of his subordinates. His will to survive never wavers and he’s firmly planted on the side of justice. He can be a little too strict at times though and Douglas tends to be very slow on the uptake. The author really tries to force you to like him, but that’s more or less okay since he’s a solid character. (Of course…that’s the point of the plan…) I wouldn’t have minded a book about his journeys on the planet.

Simon Clay is another villain whose character development goes through a radical change between books 1 and 2. You can even argue that it started towards the end of book 1. He was a capable villain at first and then he is completely used for comic relief in the final two books. He’s terrified of the Decepticons and he’s even scared of a kid. (He doesn’t know that his boss is a kid of course, but it’s still pretty embarrassing) He’s always running away or stuttering when Reverb is around and it’s pretty sad. I liked him a lot in book 1 and after that you can only like him in a comic relief way. I actually don’t mind that form of him, but you simply cannot try to be both serious and comic relief. You have to choose one or the other or you will fail at both. That’s what happens to Clay.

Let’s address the power levels of the Transformers. This is the movie continuity so it explains why they’re so weak, but it can be a little sad to fans who only watch the shows. The government’s tech is already almost up to par with the Transformers’ and it’s heavily implied that it is superior. The 1 on 1 battle between Ironhide and a tank ends with the Autobot’s victory, but Duane was holding back so throw away any suspicions that the heroes may have gotten. The scientist was also able to create a ray that could destroy all of the Autobots, but the heroes admit that it may not have worked anyway. Basically, a simple missile can deal critical damage to a Transformer and the government also has liquid metal that can instantly KO them. The Transformers are in a very dangerous pickle here.

What can also be a little annoying is that all of the Transformers seem to be more or less equal power wise. A good shot from a blade or a gun can KO just about anyone. The Autobots typically win because they attack first or land the opening blow, but the Decepticons really seem to have an even chance if they would only land a blow. I think there should be more of a gap between someone like Prime as opposed to the average Autobot.

One of the great positives about the trilogy is the fact that the books just go very quickly. They are a little on the short side (Around 130-160 pages a book and the print is fairly large) but I’m not really referring to length. The plot is very engaging and the dialogue between the characters is interesting enough to just keep you reading. The very first scene in the trilogy can start off a little too quickly since you’re just picking up the book, but it’s clear sailings from there. I typically finished off large portions of the trilogy in a single batch because of how fun they were. (Maximum Ride still holds the record in that regard as I would read a complete book in one sitting. I read a whole Transformers book in one batch as well, but Maximum Ride is about three times bigger)

Overall, This is a pretty great trilogy. We get some nice fight scenes and the human characters are actually pretty interesting. My only warning is that you should not expect the Transformers to operate under many tiers as mentioned earlier. There isn’t much that separates someone like Optimus Prime from someone like Ratchet. They’re more or less equal when it comes down to a fight, which makes things dicey against Reverb. The second book is actually the highlight of the trilogy, but the third still does have some fun action with Douglas and his party as they try to survive on the blue planet. Drama, Suspense, Action…this trilogy has it all!

Overall 8/10

The Invisible Man Review

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The 30s aren’t particularly known for their immense selection of incredible films, but they still did churn out some pretty big titles. The Invisible Man is certainly one of them and almost everyone has heard of this figure. He was a character who could scare just about anyone back in the day. Considering that it is nearly a century old at this point, The Invisible Man presents us with a pretty interesting film that is fun to watch. I gotta say that this is definitely my kind of Horror Film! (It can give some of the Godzilla films a run for their money.)

The story revolves around a scientist whose experiment goes wrong and he turns invisible. No..that’s a little misleading. His experiment didn’t turn out as he had pictured, but he was interested in basically turning invisible so it was essentially a success. The big twist is that the chemicals also warp the user’s mind so he starts to get more and more sinister until the Invisible Man basically becomes a mass murderer with visions of world domination. The local authorities have to stop him..but how can you stop someone who is invisible? (And has super strength/speed as well…) The ultimate battle of good vs evil is about to begin!

The film is only about 70 minutes so things have to move at a fairly brisk pace. The film never moves too fast, but it goes quickly enough so that many things can happen. The film starts out pretty suspenseful and then it turns into more of an action by the end. There are some scenes that will definitely stretch your limit for disbelief, but this film is pretty old so it could be a generation gap. These moments will definitely be addressed in a moment.

The Invisible Man is the main villain of the title and it’s hard to tell if he was always evil or if the side effects of the potion really threw him over the deep end. Either way, it’s not a positive for the Invisible Man if you think of him as a hero. Luckily, I just think of him as a villain and he’s not bad in that respect. You can’t really root for him since his goals just seem to come out of nowhere, but what villain doesn’t want to become rich and rule the world? We can only see the Invisible Man when he has clothes on, but the serum definitely seemed to make him a lot stronger. He mentioned how it has opened his mind so it may go back to the theory that we only use about 20% of our mind and using more of it would give us super abilities. At least it’s sort of scientific depending on how you look at it. He can choke a man with ease and survive frigid temperatures while naked. He’s also a fairly quick runner and he can be in 10 places at once. (Not literally of course) He makes for a very powerful villain and one that realistically cannot be defeated…which makes the ending a little dicey.

The Chief Detective was definitely my favorite character in the film. He came up with a lot of plans to stop the Invisible Man and nothing fazed him. This was the kind of guy that you just didn’t want to mess with and I actually liked some of his strategies. The net may have been a little primitive, but he didn’t have the tech that we currently possess. He made do with what he had and it would be tough to do a whole lot more. I won’t be forgetting the detective!

Arthur Kemp doesn’t look very good at all since he’s basically a hostage for a good portion of the film. He is too scared of the Invisible Man to launch any counter offensives and the most resistance that he could commit was to call the Police. He made the right call, but he should have either stayed locked up in the room or ran outside to meet the police. The Invisible Man does have some basic super strength and speed, but I don’t think it’s by a large gap. Arthur could still run for a while and he wouldn’t go down without a fight. Even once Arthur is in the car. He just starts begging for mercy right from the get go instead of trying to fight the Invisible Man. If you’re going to die, you may as well fight back right? Just go for the gold at that point.

Most of the fighters don’t do very well against the Invisible Man and that can be a little embarrassing for them. They outnumbered him at least 50-1 at one point and he just scared them into submission. Their best chance was during the first showdown where they were face to face with him, but the crowds ran away when the Invisible Man took off his bandages around his head. They should have pounced right then and there, but the shock defeated them. After that, I don’t think that they really could have defeated him.

Being invisible is just too great of a power. There are millions of places to hide and you could also just reduce the town’s population one by one. It’s impossible to protect everyone and the Invisible Man is already fairly smart. He may have gotten careless at the end, but even then he should have been able to escape. Instead, he decides to play the final Mario 64 level with the Policemen taking the role of Bowser. This proved to be a fatal mistake and you have to wonder what he was thinking.

It’s also a little hard to sympathize with the Invisible Man at the beginning of the film. I did for a few minutes when everyone was scared of him for no good reason. Sure, he was bundled up, but it was freezing out there. The sympathy was lost when he began to yell at the shop owners the whole time. He could have easily finished his experiments if he had been more polite and less direct about everything. Because of that, the Invisible Man lost his chance.

We had a few other characters like the main heroine and her father, but they don’t really contribute to the plot. They are there to provide us with a little context and some backstory for the Invisible Man, but that’s about it. I do have to say that the first Policeman’s portrayal was pretty great though. At first, he doesn’t really care much about the Invisible Man’s situation. (Before they knew he was invisible) However, you can see him growing more and more confident as he walks into the room and the Invisible Man continues to hurl threats. The Policeman doesn’t back down until the Invisible Man starts to become invisible with his iconic laugh. I’ll admit that his appearance isn’t very flattering at that point, but the beginning is really what counts.

There isn’t really a soundtrack to be found here since the film is so old. I will admit that the film’s age does show when it comes to the audio. It can be very hard to hear what some of the characters are saying because their voices are just too screechy. This is especially the case for one of the owners, but it’s more intentional on her part. She’s a pretty exaggerated character, but a pretty likable one nonetheless. I felt bad for her and her husband since they were just trying to run a respectable shop. The audio was a little dicey, but it’s pretty unavoidable and it’s not the kind of thing that will really take points away.

Overall, The Invisible Man is a pretty fun film. The writing is pretty strong as you would expect and the characters are pretty interesting. I think that the Police really should have been out of their league here, but I’ll accept the plot hax since the hero has to win somehow. The towns people were way too afraid of the Invisible Man though and they shouldn’t have been. He’s still just one man and they can definitely take him if they all just charge. It was hard to take them seriously during those moments, but they pulled it together by the end. The town was pretty cool and it’s the kind of place that you definitely wouldn’t have minded living in back during the 30’s. I definitely recommend this film to horror films and it may not be a thrill a minute, but it’s a very good film. It will keep you interested from start to finish. You’ll never forget The Invisible Man’s maniacal laugh afterwards!

Overall 7/10

Deja Vu Review

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I know that some like to spell “Deja” with a few symbols above the letters, but I prefer to just write it out like this. The title can already tell you that this is either the next Groundhog Day or it’s going to involve time. I can safely say that it’s the latter although it’s a bit of a trick question since Groundhog Day did involve time. It’s a decent film, but I am hesitant to say that it’s much more than that. The film doesn’t really end up leaving a big impact on you. You watch it…and it’s gone. (Like Battleship)

The plot involves special agent Doug as he tries to solve a case before it even begins. A terrorist attacks a ship and destroys over 500 people in the process. Nobody knows who did it or where the person went, which is where Doug comes in. Doug is the first person to confirm that it was a terrorist attack and he is then brought on to the elite squad. With the use of satellites, they can watch just about any spot on the planet as of 4 days ago. So, they can wait 4 days to see who did it, but it may be too late by then. Moreover, there is no rewinding available so they need to be able to identify the person right away. The plot thickens when Doug finds out that another person was murdered prior to the explosion and thrown into the ocean to make it appear as if the person was just another victim. Doug is now personally invested in this case and he’s ready to solve this case. Now, what if there is more to this satellite technology than meets the eye? What if Doug can stop the crime before it starts? That’s when the real film begins!

Well, the satellite thing is actually pretty scientific. I recall reading about it recently that at least 4 satellites are typically trained on the area. From there, it gets a little hazy since I don’t really think that the satellites would typically be able to look through buildings and get clear 1080P footage while you’re in a dark alley at night. It’s certainly possibly in theory though and it’s interesting to think about. If our government actually had perfected the tech to this extent though, the world would either be a really good place or our civil rights would be even more dismantled than they currently are. (America is still one of the best at protecting us though) Things get more than a little hazy once they start explaining about how you can actually look at the past with the satellites. That means that it’s fiction time!

I do give Doug credit for deciding to change the past while the others said that it wasn’t possible. If time travel was actually possible, then I definitely think it could be altered. The two events go hand in hand. If you can go back in time, then you can change it. If not, then time and the events within it are simply unchangeable. That’s always been my stance on the matter.

Doug is a decent lead. He definitely wants to solve the case and he’s ready to do whatever it takes to succeed without doing anything that’s really unheroic. This is the kind of character that you could call a little generic and get away with it. There’s nothing about him that really stands out and he’s only decent in a fight. His final stand off against the main villain was actually pretty bad since he was on the defensive the whole time. One could argue that his end is also a little tragic and not what you would expect while others can argue that it had to happen due to the plot. I dunno, I think he could have put in the extra effort and just moved to the Hotel California to avoid any missteps.

Claire is the main heroine and a lot of bad things happen to her in a very short amount of time. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have a whole lot of street smarts. She gives away her home address to a random guy over the phone that wanted to buy her car. If you’re going to sell a car to someone, at least arrange to meet in a busy section that has a McDonalds. (Or a sports bar, since the guys inside can definitely fight) Her second big mistake is to open the door when she hears a sound outside. First rule of living in any area is that you never open the door unless you know exactly who’s outside. (And you should recognize their tone to know if they’re being held at gunpoint. Although, there’s not much you can do at that point) So, that was a really rough start for her and that leads to the events that transpire afterwards. She’s a decent character overall, but negative things happen to her left and right. She can’t really find any peace at this rate. This also means that she doesn’t get a whole lot of time for character development and the romance is pretty non existent. (It’s pretty one sided until the end where it’s probably both ways, but still rushed)

Oerstadt is the terrorist in the film and he’s as crazy as you may have expected. I doubt I’ll ever like a terrorist character in a film and that’s a good thing. Films shouldn’t even try to make them sympathetic or likable since they’re just bad people when it all boils down to it. Oerstadt is certifiably insane as he wants to murder everyone to show the United States that they need more patriots. He wants them to wake up and start controlling the world since they have the power. Instead, Oerstadt is woken up to the fact that he didn’t think this through and that his only escape options are death and life imprisonment. Not the best set of options right?

One of the complaints that I would have with the supporting characters is that they can be slow on the uptake. Take Doug’s partner. He gets a message informing him that a terrorist is going to blow up the boat so he heads there to stop him. He sees the guy get into the van so he runs towards him. “Stop….Stop…hands in the air” is basically what the agent says. The guy just takes out his gun and shoots him…..eh? When you’re dealing with a terrorist, you quickly let everyone know and you don’t just walk up to the window. At the very least, shoot all of the wheels so that the guy can’t escape. Then, don’t go in front of the window so the shot will at least be a little more difficult. This guy was an agent so I’m sure that he’ll have enough connections to inform the NSA that something’s up.

The film is also pretty gritty. The main heroine’s plight is pretty serious and the partner’s demise is also pretty gruesome. The film shows the aftermath of the terrorist attack and it’s grim as you would expect. They don’t want to make light of such a situation, but these three scenes are still not really any fun. The heroine’s plight happens twice. The first one is off screen and then we see part of the second until the guy is interrupted. That was good at least, but it’s still a bit much since we know what would have happened.

Finally, this film actually has some fanservice, which is a definite no no. I wasn’t really expecting any since I’ve actually gotten lucky on that angle recently. Most of the films that I’ve seen have actually stayed away from that angle. Not here. Doug and his co-workers decide to spy on Claire through their super satellites to see what happens and they definitely take a while to turn the camera. They’re spying on her constantly and that is decidedly unheroic. It’s okay when she’s in proper attire, but they should otherwise change the view immediately. Not a good move “heroes!”

There’s not much of a soundtrack of course. Luckily, that was to be expected here. We had a bit of a red herring involving the main agent in charge since he acts incredibly suspicious the whole time, but his plot never amounts to anything. At least it gives the viewers something to think about. His role is very small and I still wonder if the writers just forgot about him.

Overall, Deja Vu is a pretty standard film. It does end up losing some extra points for the gruesome violence and the fanservice though so it ultimately becomes a little sub par. The main character wasn’t bad and I always like a good time travel story, but the film just wasn’t terribly exciting or interesting. You sort of want to find out what’s going to happen, but you’ll find yourself to be pretty detached from the current events. It’s hard to really get into what’s happening and you could say that it’s a bit of a negative. A film should really keep you on the edge of your seat. An example of this is the big car chase scene. It’s a fun concept, but it’s not as thrilling as you would expect. Maybe the cars just weren’t going fast enough or it’s because I already saw Need For Speed. Well, I wouldn’t really recommend this one and I think you’d be better off watching The One for parallel universe explanations.

Overall 4/10

TimeSplitters Review

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It’s time for a new series to join the ranks of the blog! Starting a game series always fills you with a lot of emotions because you are about to be thrown into a whole new world! Who knows what dangers lurk around the corners and which games will end up becoming instant classics. TimeSplitters is an FPS with a sci-fi theme so let’s see how this plays out.

What does FPS mean? Basically, this game is a first person shooter similar to Call of Duty. It’s not your average shooter though because it has an arcade feel to it. So, the gameplay is very quick and you’re always on the go. Tactics aren’t really going to save you from getting blown apart so my best advice is to just run at the villains. Simply fire before they can fire back as you dash towards the goal. There are 9 levels in Story Mode and each one can be beaten between 30 seconds to 4 minutes. According to the play time, I took a little over an hour to beat it.

“So what happened DReager1…did you hold back?” Well, that’s the logical assumption to make since the game should have only taken me around 36 minutes to beat considering my epicness. The big twist is that I’m not very good at FPS games. Don’t get the wrong idea! I could still take just about anyone out in this kind of game, but I simply can’t deal with the sniper gun. That’s the level that I tried around 40 times before finally completing it. Over 40 times!! Even if the levels are short, that’s certainly going to keep the clock running and I eventually just muscled my way through. It was tough, but no level can hold me at bay for long. There is technically a plot, but it’s only in the booklet or on the cover. The actual game doesn’t really have one so I won’t really address it here.

Once you are done with the story mode levels, you unlock Challenge Mode. I believe that there are around 18 challenges so that should buy you some more time and we can’t forget about Arcade Mode! The game also goes up to 4 players, which is pretty good since multiplayer is a must in any FPS. People don’t spends thousands of hours playing Call of Duty and Halo for the story mode…they play it for the huge online battles! Likewise, you’re bound to have a lot of fun in multiplayer playing this game since competing is always fun.

The soundtrack is decently good for this game from what you can hear. Amidst all of the shooting, you’ll likely only remember the main menu theme. It’s pretty good, but I would have liked to see some other themes as well. Of course, when you beat a level in under a minute…you may not be giving it enough time to really get going.

The graphics are pretty decent for this game. The character models don’t look too blurry or anything like that and you can clearly see where to go next. Considering that lighting is typically a problem on my TV, it was impressive to be able to see everything. The level designs are a lot of fun and my favorite level is easily the mansion. Surprisingly, the future levels tended to be the least imaginative. Maybe I just didn’t like playing as the robot, but it wasn’t quite as exhilarating as being in that huge mansion.

First Person Shooters have been one of my least favorite genres. I used to really not like them and part of the reason is that you really can’t focus on the scenery in those. You’re always looking at the screen through the barrel of your gun and it can be tricky. I’ve grown more accustomed to them over the years though, but my skills are still a little behind since I rarely play them. I enjoy the game’s fast pace since it helps it feel a little more like your typical third person game. If you are just entering the FPS world, this may not be a bad place to start!

Overall, This is a pretty fun game. You’ll definitely enjoy it if you like the FPS genre and there are a ton of characters to use. It may not matter so much to some fans since you can’t really see the character during the game, but a lot of them have some pretty intriguing titles. “PeakABoo Jones” comes to mind. The only reason why you would want to think before you purchase this game is the duration. 1 hour for story mode isn’t a whole lot of time and considering that Challenge Mode is double (2 hours) the time and Arcade Mode is likely another hour, you’re not looking at a very long game. Still, the going price for it is very low and you must count the multiplayer replay value as well. Simply put, you’ll enjoy this game more if you have someone to play it with. I would still recommend it if you are by yourself too of course, but then you’ll want to make sure that you don’t mind short games. (I usually get thrilled to see a short game since I have so many on the back burner.) I can safely say that the sequel is naturally on my list now since it can only improve and it’s on the greatest console of all time….the GAMECUBE! It’s supposed to seriously give you the chills so I look forward to that. As far as creepiness goes, the zombies/TimeSplitters in this game were pretty intense. I hope that there is more of a plot in the sequel since it should help to make the story mode a little more interesting. We do need to raise the stakes right? Maybe you’ll keep this review in mind for the next rainy day so that you can have this game at the ready. It’ll be like watching a quick scary movie to pass the time by.

Overall 7/10

2001: A Space Odyssey Review

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2001-a-Space-Odyssey
Have you ever seen a film that made you go to sleep? No, I’m not talking about the Lord of the Rings! 2001: A Space Odyssey surpasses that film in that category as the scenes are even more stretched out and the film runs for around the same amount of time. With less plot than a Saturday Morning Cartoon; A main character that makes Alex Hopper look like Tom Cruise; and an ending that would make Inception viewers cringe….we have this film! I hope that you’ve prepared yourself accordingly because watching this film is basically like throwing hours of your life out the window.

What is the plot? The film never figured that out so it’s barely worth mentioning. The first plot is about animal violence and how we descended from Apes. The Apes learned to destroy each other until they managed to become as brutal as the modern humans. After that, we go to David Bowman as he goes to the board meeting. It’s a big conspiracy between the members as they can’t let the press find out what they’re about to do. This journey will be dangerous after all so they convince everyone that there is a plague on board. David takes Frank and Hal 9000 as they head off into the great unknown. However, nothing is as it seems and the humans eventually start to distrust Hal 9000. Obviously, there is only room for one type of being so now they will have to fight. Man vs Machine!

It’s like watching a bad sci-fi film that doesn’t know if it wants to be a thriller, a political film, or a thematic sensation. As a result, the story telling is very convoluted and nothing makes sense. The writing makes the Amazing Spider Man 2 look amazing and it makes the Lord of The Rings appear to be a thrill a minute in comparison. It’s no shock to say that I’m giving this film a single star and it would be hard to say where that star came from. (Or not, Hal 9000 was pretty epic after all) Let’s quickly talk about the characters since there really aren’t many to talk about.

David Bowman is the main lead of the film, but it won’t matter all that much by the end since he has no real personality to speak of. He’s pretty careful around the news reporters, which is good and he doesn’t really gossip. He’s pretty much a no nonsense character and he seems to be pretty reasonable. Did he get a little too drastic in his plan to get Hal 9000? That’s something we’ll discuss later on. Overall, I would actually say that Bowman was a decently good main character. He was very bland and he didn’t have much of a personality, but that also meant that he didn’t really have time to make many mistakes. I can’t say that he fell into any character holes. He’s a perfectly acceptable main character.

Frank Poole is his friend/co worker. You could say that he’s a more aggressive version of David Bowman. Bowman never really voices his opinion about Hal 9000 being dangerous until Frank suggests that they take him out. Bowman was hinting at it, but he was very indecisive and he seemed to want Frank’s agreement before even suggesting it. Frank isn’t subtle like that and everything he does is direct. Because of this, Frank ends up being more likable than David and he’s the best human character in the film. Going outside when the ship is a suspect may be a little….optimistic at best, but every character makes a big error at some point right? Frank Poole was definitely a good character.

Hal 9000 is the big villain of the film. He’s famous and everyone knows about Hal 9000. Despite this, Hal 9000 isn’t actually a very big player. His screen time is a lot shorter than I would have thought. Despite this, Hal 9000 is still as sinister as I had pictured. You really can’t get past his sarcastic voice. “Hello Dave” “I can’t do that Dave” are some of his lines and Hal 9000 never lets up. He has nothing but contempt for humanity and it really shows. I can definitely see why he was remembered since he was one of the only really good things about the film. Right down to the end, Hal 9000’s voice will give you the chills and his end is probably where the film should have ended.

Unfortunately, the film did not end! After that, we just get a lot of scenes that don’t really have any relevance to them. There are a lot of meta readings that you can take from the scenes, but you can also just go to sleep and let the film end on its own. The problem with trying to have a lot of symbolic interpretations is that there is no correct answer. Once you put out a vague ending, the viewer can name any ending that they please and it won’t really be wrong. Thus, there really isn’t a point anymore. The film had no point and that’s one of the saddest parts. We never really begin to like the main characters so there isn’t a sense of relief at the end.

The whole film is really dragged out. The first 5-8 minutes of the film are pure darkness and we even have an intermission with more darkness. The final 15-20 minutes just consist of random oceans and other locations where we can appreciate the view. If I wanted a good view, then I’d pop in my Homer Price dvd and check out the realistic donuts! The main character eventually goes insane and that basically represents the audience by this point. I think it’s safe to say that you’ll lose interest before the halfway mark of the film anyway, but this would throw you off if you were still on board. Even eating a sandwich can take a while in this film as they slowly go for the food and they take forever to finish it. Don’t worry, they silently jog afterwards to burn off the calories. Another example of how the film is dragged out is the conversation with the media. “I’m not at liberty to discuss this” is something that the main character says when they try to get information out of him. What’s his next line? The same exact thing! The writers were just grasping at straws at that point as they just wanted to drag out the dialogue as much as possible. The characters make sure to cough and take deep breaths so that they can stop themselves from replying for a little longer. The camera also has a little lag to it so the scenes end up staying on the screen for longer than necessary. Not that we could expect anything less from this film!

Okay, we’ve established that the film is boring right? I could keep on mentioning this fact and give more examples, but I think you get the point. Still, that can’t be enough to give it a 1 right? Even the Lord of the Rings scored higher than that! Well, one big hole that the film charged into was the classic case of animal violence. Yes, there is animal violence in a space film that is about man vs machines. Why is animal violence present? Because the film forgot what it was about!

The first half hour or so is about a group of monkeys massacring each other. That’s it….there’s no plot, no point, and no fun. It’s just about the animals hurting each other and maturing into humans. It’s essentially a silent film at this stage and it makes the silent scenes of the Arthur tv show look profound and relevant. By this point in the film, I already had a sneaking suspicion that the film could not score above a three. Little did I know that it would never rise up from this error.

The end of the film is all about being trippy and we have a lot of inverted colors and random events that occur. You keep waiting for something to happen and it never does so you’re left with an empty feeling. This is why you shouldn’t make a film very crazy looking just so that you can try to win some awards and get recognition for being unique. Using the tried and true formula of the Mario Bros film would be much better.

Now, should the humans have decided to destroy/dismantle Hal 9000 and his upper functions? He did make a mistake with the satellite, but was it really on purpose as part of some conspiracy? I definitely think that he was trying to cover up his mistake as the film went on, but I don’t think he would have felt that it was necessary to murder the whole crew if Bowman and Frank hadn’t discussed their plan. (Talking in front of a window is never a really smart thing to do) It just seemed like the humans were a little rash in their thinking. Hal 9000 may have been in error, but he didn’t seem to be malicious. There were possibly some veiled threats in his dialogue with the main characters and if he’s so smart…then the mistake had to be intentional right? Nonetheless, while there are some doubts as to what side Hal 9000 was on, they should have given him a chance. At least wait until they’re back on the ground to disable him. Going on the offensive just wasn’t a wise thing to do in their situation. Then, sending out Frank to put the satellite back in place? That’s just asking for trouble. I can’t say with complete confidence that deciding to work with Hal 9000 would have helped them out in the end, but I do think that he wouldn’t have turned completely evil. (Not so quickly anyway)

Overall, 2001: A Space Odyssey is a lot worse than you may have guessed from the cover. There isn’t much of a plot and the events that could have taken 30-40 minutes end up stretching to around 3 hours. The director really wanted this film to be long so he used every artificial technique that he could think of to keep the film going. Because of this, over a third of the film consists of pointless aerial shots or stills of the characters thinking. The intro with the animals is also pointless and the ending doesn’t add anything to the film. The only part with any meat to it was the battle against Hal and that was all too brief. Stay away from this film and all of its animal violence. You would have more fun watching paint dry or taking a nap. The only slight positive would be the main characters, but that’s really not enough to save such a long film. This film may be known as a classic, but I’ll just know it as the film that was more tedious than Lord of the Rings. Watch the latest Star Trek film if you want a good spaceship film.

Overall 1/10