Tag Archives: Vampire

Bunnicula: The Vampire Rabbit Review

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I was never really familiar with Bunnicula up til now. I know all about Dracula but since when wee bunnies also vampires? It was news to me but hey I was still eager to see what was going to happen here. It’s a pretty fun intro film and definitely sets the stage for what this part of the franchise would be like. The mini film is pretty fun and so I could see myself enjoying the whole show.

The film starts off with the nearby plant having a lot of strange issues recently. The latest one nearly murdered two employees so they shut it down. Two kids find a mysterious bunny nearby and so they bring it home. Chester the cat believes that the bunny is the cause of all the danger. That he’s some kind of vampire draining the life out of everything. It would explain why lately there are various fruits that have been losing their color. Almost like something is draining the juice from them. Harold is not so convinced and thinks that Chester is stretching things a bit too far.

Of course the evidence becomes hard to dispute later on as Bunnicula gets tougher and tougher. He is even able to use his supernatural abilities to take on several wolves. This bunny knows how to fight well but the powers take a lot out of him so he naps a lot. I was still glad to get a good action scene in here though. That was definitely a lot of fun and is a preview of how the shenanigans would go in an ongoing show.

The animation was also pretty good. It’s a really retro style that feels super authentic. The characters are always panicking and at the same time the voice acting helps to complement that as well. It’s a really upbeat kind of film and while it is aimed at younger viewers, the writing is solid so it works for anyone. It’s exactly the kind of fun animated film you like to see. The pacing is good as well with how short it is.

Harold is definitely my favorite character here. I always tend to have a soft spot for the skeptical characters. Why should he believe that there is something supernatural going on here right? It just doesn’t track for him and it takes a long time to change that. What I also appreciate is just how confident he is about this. There is no doubt in his mind that he is correct and that’s how a good character ought to be.

Meanwhile Chester is fun as well. The cat does his best to point out what is really going on here, no matter how insistent Harold is. That makes for a good contrast/foil between the two characters. Bunnicula in comparison doesn’t really have any character. That’s what you get when you’re sleeping for so long I suppose. That would probably be the one thing that could hold the series back. The titular character being the least interesting one is a little tricky.

The owner of the animals was surprisingly fun. When the town mob came over demanding that he hand over Bunnicula, he just called them out for being crazy. He was clearly done with the whole situation before it even happened and it makes sense since he lost his job recently thanks to the plant issues. He’s not exactly in a jolly mood and I don’t think anybody else would be either. The mob completely underestimated this guy and only got close because Harold and Chester took that time to run off with Bunnicula right in front of them.

If anything, what this film probably needed was either an antagonist or some really over eager animal catcher. It would help sell the long term appeal of the series as there would now be an obstacle that Bunnicula has to try and get around. Without that, the film will end up feeling too stand alone. It’s a bit hard to picture exactly how the show would play out here other than to have Bunnicula doing dracula type stuff the whole time.

Maybe the banter between Harold and Chester would be enough to see the adventure through. Perhaps Bunnicula continually frames them for random mischievous stuff around the house and then they have to solve it before anyone else finds out. The owner is definitely someone who is rather sharp so I could see him being tough to overcome. One wrong move and he will be right on top of them.

Overall, This was a fun special. It goes pretty fast with the solid writing and pacing. I liked the characters well enough and the only thing it seems to be missing is a long term hook. That’s ultimately not the film’s concern though. I can recommend this to anyone looking for a good time. The plot is easily accessible to anyone and has a fairly light tone throughout. Next time you see a vegetable losing its color, you’ll know what has been going on.

Overall 7/10

Scream Blacula Scream Review

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It’s time for the next Blahhhhhhcula film. The name just makes that joke too easy! But yeah this is not a good film and you likely knew that going into it. It’s another really cheap vampire film that’s doing its best to impress and scare you but instead it has the opposite effect. You will be rolling your eyes at this one and wondering when it’s over. There’s nothing to really like about this film as it squanders any decent ideas that might have been thrown into the mix.

The film starts with the queen of voodoo dying so she quickly forgets to name a successor. It has to come down to a vote now and everyone knows it will be Lisa which infuriates Willis. He decides to do something about this and messes with some bones until he resurrects Blacula. Blacula quickly turns Willis into a vampire and then decides to go on another murder spree. Will anyone be safe from all of these murders? Lisa will need to watch out since she is now the one with the strongest Voodoo energy. If she ends up siding with Blacula then all hope may be lost.

So lets get this out of the way, the film has a ton of the usual blood sucking right out of the gate. You’ll be grimacing the whole time because this is not what you signed up for. Not at all! I mean that sounds like I’m in denial but you can do a vampire film without all of that. These also have to be the longest blood drain scenes that I’ve come across. Seriously there’s just no end to them. They keep going on and on and on. If you ask me personally the best thing to do here would have been to do a quick cut. You get the initial bite and then skip.

Although it’s clear that the film was pretty proud of these scenes for how drawn out they were. Even the moments leading up to the bites, you got zoom ins on the teeth early on. At least some of the victims were asking for it like the random guys trying to bully Blacula in the streets. It was nice to bump them off but we can do better than the classic bite every time. So right off the bat the film was already doomed thanks to this.

Then the characters aren’t smart at all. Lisa already knows that Blacula is murdering people and yet by the end she wants to help him and everything? Noooo that’s not cool. She still seems shocked when he continues to hurt people but he’s been doing that since the very beginning so there’s no excuse there. He didn’t change, he was evil right from the jump. That’s what I’ve been trying to explain the whole time. Also considering her psychic voodoo powers, she still looks very weak the whole time.

She is easily suckered by her friend who turned vampire and then tries to drain her. Shouldn’t Lisa have some kind of supernatural defenses? So that’s a big strike against her character right from the jump. Then after that we’ve also got the fact that she doesn’t immediately end Blacula when she has the doll. Just stab it or put it in a choke hold. Instead she takes ages which nearly costs her.

All right, one slight positive for the film. I really liked the confrontation between Justin and Blacula where we have a really tense talk. Both of them are casually murdering the other one and it’s a very boss moment for Justin. Not a smart one mind you, since Blacula could have murdered him at any point. Still, it showed that he was ready to stand his ground. The film is really reusing this from other titles but it still hit right. It’s the best scene in the film by far.

In general I was glad that the cops got involved as well. They actually get to fight it out with the vampires which was pretty cool. We get some actual battle scenes although the cops have a bad habit of hesitating. Look, these are vampires, you have to just take them out. Use the stake or it will be used against you. I did wonder why they wouldn’t re-use a stake though. For example one guy uses his stake and then gets rushed by a second vampire so he cuts it in half to use a new one. Many cops just gave up once they used their 1 stake and got wrecked.

Just pull it out of the dead body and use it again. It’s still made of wood so I’m confident that it will work as many times as needed. These guys really need to learn basic combat skills. The whole film should have been the general confrontation because that would actually be an original take. The full might of the police force against the personal army of vampires that Blacula built up. That had a lot of potential over the usual stuff.

Instead what the film decided to focus on in terms of being unique is the voodoo witchcraft nonsense. Those scenes are some of the worst. They’re super dragged out as well with everyone hopping around and feeling the vibes. They don’t add anything to the film and instead subtract from it. So really you are always looking forward to the few police/Justin scenes but every time Blacula or the Voodoo stuff is on screen the film falls down quickly. We also get a random animal violence when a bird is destroyed. The film needs to do better!

Overall, If you really enjoy seeing the blood sucking scenes from a vampire film then this is your title. I still can’t think of any title that dragged them out nearly this much. However, there is no other reason to watch this film and waste your time. Blacula is not a series that will go down in history as being anything decent. It was really a full on gimmick from start to finish and one that didn’t find its footing. You could have had some interesting social themes here or given Blacula a real personality beyond just draining people. At times it felt like the film was going to perhaps go down that route and then he just starts murdering everyone again. So the film couldn’t resist going back to its roots of shock value. If we ever get a modern reboot, maybe it could change things.

Overall 1/10

The Lost Boys Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for some vampires. You already know that means the film is starting off at a disadvantage but maybe it can pull through and win anyway? Wellllll…unfortunately that is not the case so I still do have to give this one a thumbs down. The characters tend to be annoying and the film can drag on at some points. The main romance with the teens also doesn’t work so well.

The film starts with Michael, his younger brother Sam, and his mom Lucy moving from a nice place over to the murder capital of the world. They’re staying with Lucy’s father and at this point the goal is really to try and make the best of it. Sam is one of those guys who is very personable and he acclimates to the new place quickly even if it is odd how two kids keep telling him to watch out for vampires. Michael sees an attractive lady who is already taken but since when has that stopped him? He flirts with her which causes the leader of the vampire group, David to show up and mess with him. Michael succumbs to peer pressure immediately and gets turned into a vampire. Can he control his urges and stay on the path of justice?

There’s a lot to unpack here and unfortunately most of it is not good. As the lead character Michael makes too many mistakes. It’s not really good form to go after someone who is already in a relationship. Yeah it’s not the same as someone being married or engaged but at the same time it makes you look desperate. It was clear that Star was leading him on from the jump so the only right answer there is to just dodge the situation entirely. She manipulates him so easily that you’re just shaking your head. Their romance really was bad.

Meanwhile Michael was falling for the illusions each time and then not suspecting that something was wrong about the vampires was a real miss for him as well. He does control the urges well at least and I can tell you right now that I have no issues with taking out any of the villains. As far as I’m concerned that is full self defense and everyone was trying to murder the vampires in order to save the town so there’s no functional difference here. Something to keep in mind since the end of the film is trying to throw a message in and it doesn’t really work.

I liked Sam a lot more than Michael. He’s a likable kid who has a positive outlook. Again, if not for the vampires he was going to get used to the new town real fast. He had a good sense of humor and is also responsible. This is the kind of kid you can count on to make your life easier. He gets a big role along with the two vampire hunters but technically it’s not like he can fight all that much so I wouldn’t expect him to do a lot of damage. The villains are just too powerful.

As for Lucy, she’s definitely a sympathetic character. She’s also been through a lot with the divorce and all. It may be a little fast to get back into the dating game but at least it’s treated like an actual dynamic among adults. It starts off with a basic dinner and nothing crazy. Usually I’d say the romance subplot had no point being in the film but this time I suppose it justified its own existence. It’s still a bit on the weak side but as a character Lucy was solid.

Then you have Max whose role is pretty fun. He is the character you will be thinking about a lot here and some scenes you can see in a different light. So he makes for a fairly solid character, certainly better than the vampire gang led by David who mostly just look like creeps the whole time. They’re not intimidating in a fun way and if anything they’re so overconfident and sloppy that this is what leads to them getting cooked all the time. As long as they remembered basic fighting techniques then they would have been okay here. The problem is they don’t have much of a goal except for spreading chaos.

I would have liked to have seen perspectives from more of the outside world. Not someone about to die but maybe a few locals talking about how people are always getting kidnapped and being murdered which seems weird. The film does establish this place as the biggest murder area in the world but doesn’t follow that up with anything. I’m sure the mayor and the cops would have something to say about that right? Adding them in with a big role would have been really fun.

Just something to give us more time away from the vampires. You already know that nobody can put up a fight against them so the nameless characters are doomed. The film doesn’t keep your attention the way that it should. It throws in quite a few jump scares involving the dogs. It’s a dangerous game since that could have easily tanked the whole movie but fortunately it avoids getting hit with the solid 0-1. The dogs end up looking fairly tough the whole time and Sam’s dog really saves the day more than once. So I appreciate that. Having a dog on screen always speeds up my heart rate a little bit but when you have a happy ending like this then that definitely helps out a whole lot.

Overall, The Lost Boys is a film that had some potential but it doesn’t live up to this in the execution. The comedic elements could have helped to raise everything up but at the end of the day it still focuses more on the vampire stuff than anything else. The characters created too many issues on their own and so in the end what you have here is a film that doesn’t give you much of an incentive to watch it. At least I did like the grandfather. His role was small but the confidence was nice. If the film had doubled down on more of the humor this could have really been a different ballgame.

Overall 3/10

Nosferatu the Vampyre Review

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Oh no, we’re back to vampire world. As you can probably expect this film is pretty bad all around. The characters are sloppy and the main villain is anything but intimidating. The whole time he’s on screen you’ll be shaking your head because he’s just not really a threat. If the characters could learn how to throw a decent punch it would all be over for him but unfortunately they don’t have the speed feats needed to take the edge here. It’s a real shame when you think about it.

The movie starts off with Jonathan being given a big job from his employer Renfield. He has to go over to Dracula’s lair and sell him some real estate. The place is rather far but it’ll pay well so Jonathan goes even though Lucy begs him not too. She has seen visions of his this will go badly but he doesn’t care. He wants the money asap! Everybody is scared or Dracula though so he can’t use a horse and as a result the trip takes months. Not a great amount of luck there but at last he has made it. Dracula seems rather spooky the whole time though as he keeps on staring at Jonathan. Jonathan is sloppy and cuts himself which causes Dracula to go crazy and eventually Dracula decides to go take down his wife Lucy. Jonathan has to try and make it back home before Dracula but it won’t be easy now that he is super ill. Additionally a plague is going to be wiping out the place in short order.

Where to start with this one right? The bloodsucking is pretty awful as always. The heroes never put up a fight and just take it. Jonathan for example just stays in his bed as Dracula gets closer and closer. The guy barely even reacts as he is knocked out. Then the same goes for Lucy who is unable to do anything. Those scenes are super annoying the whole time and you’re always waiting for someone to break the cycle. In the end I would argue the heroes didn’t do much of anything and Dracula just got sloppy. I can’t even give Lucy much credit there because you’d think Dracula would be hyper aware of what time it was.

He’s just sloppy in general. Jonathan even had a good time to finish him off earlier but got spooked. This is one of the slowest incarnations of Dracula and he isn’t particularly impressive physically. There’s no way anyone should be afraid of him. His design is certainly very sinister but more in a completely insane, psychotic way as opposed to being threatening. Jonathan should have just knocked the life out of this guy. The fight should not play out any other way.

Also this is where the slow burn approach fails because all the scenes of Dracula staring at everyone is more annoying than it is scary. It will bore you to tears the whole time because it all feels so unrealistic. I don’t care if he’s using some kind of hypnotism, just break out and take him down. Every time they just stand/lie there you know how the scene will play out and it still takes forever.

Then the whole town plot with the plague is pretty boring as well. Basically a bunch of mice start coming around and the villagers know they are doomed so they all start to eat and just give up on everything. Surely they could have tried something before throwing in the towel right? Instead they did absolutely nothing and that was a shame. The ending is surprisingly grim for the heroes. It looks like evil has won out this time and if the cycle continues then it’s just going to keep on happening over and over again. Even Van Hellsing didn’t look particularly great here to be honest. His role is rather small and he just didn’t have a whole lot of confidence. He’s a far cry from the more action centered version that I am used to.

As the main heroine Lucy nis okay and she definitely has some guts but I was still expecting a little more out of her. I’ve already talked about Jonathan enough but the guy is super annoying and should have heeded Lucy’s warning. If not, at least get out of the house right away after getting the papers and don’t just let Dracula stare at you the whole time. Renfield is definitely at his most insane in this version and he was an interesting character. I can’t say that I was able to take him very seriously though. It’s not like he has a lot of raw power or anything and he’s no genius. He just gets lucky that the cops are not particularly careful so it’s easy for him to break away. That was extremely embarrassing.

Then Dracula is rather dull and boring. So yeah there’s not much here to make this film all that good. It’s one of the most boring Dracula movies that I’ve seen and that’s even considering that it still hits all of the usual negatives like excessive violence and a lot of blood sucking. It’s very rare that there is ever a good vampire film and this will certainly not end up being one of the exceptions.

Overall, I highly recommend skipping this film. It’s way too slow paced and unrealistic the whole time. If Dracula himself looked more powerful then at least that part could be believable but instead he looks flimsy enough to just toss away and that would be it for him. The guy is super slow as well. So if you’re in the mood for a thriller film, definitely skip this one as soon as possible. You absolutely do not want to be anywhere near this film unless you’re ready for a good nap. In that case then we have an exception on your hands.

Overall 1/10

The Night Stalker Review

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It’s time for an old school mystery film. It’s probably more appropriate to lead off with calling this one a horror but there is quite a bit of mystery to unfold here as well. It’s a movie that really stands out in some ways particularly thanks to the music but ultimately fumbles the ball before reaching the end zone. It doesn’t have the replay value that it could have achieved otherwise.

The film starts by introducing us to Kolchak, a reporter who has been around the block many times before. Not for the best of reasons as he has been fired from numerous papers but this time he has a whopper of a story. Someone is going around murdering a bunch of women in town and each victim is completely drained of blood. It appears that we have a real life vampire on our hands. However, no matter how much evidence Kolchak is able to pile up, nobody will believe him and the story is being suppressed. Can he gets through to these people in time to save some lives or is he going to have to simply get frustrated as he watches everyone die right before him?

The movie does a great job of getting Kolchak’s frustration through to the audience. After a point you just feel like he has so much evidence and yet nobody will take him seriously. When everyone’s blood is being sucked out how many options do you realistically have? Now I understand if you don’t want to assume he’s a vampire right off the bat so Kolchak has a very reasonable alternative. Lets at least operate on the presumption that someone is psychotic and believes he is a vampire. The cops turn this down too and don’t even want to write about it for fear of a panic. That always has to be one of the worst excuses though. So you’d rather people keep on getting murdered than cause the panic? Sure….

I can’t give the main guy any grief because he does his best but the rest of the characters are all annoying and completely complicit in this. His direct boss is constantly scared of being fired and doesn’t want to cause a scene which means that he is completely useless here. All of the execs feel the same way and of course the cops are often trying to get on his case. They may as well be allies to the vampire after a point because hiding things only goes so far. At one point the entire police force fights the vampire and they lose badly. He’s immune to bullets and basically crushes them. Their reaction is to ignore that this happened and proceed as normal.

The vampire isn’t even subtle after a while. He just breaks into hospitals and murders people as he sees fit because it’s not like they can stop him anyway. It makes sense he would be this brazen when he knows nobody will stop him. That’s why the whole thing is so embarrassing. The film also decides to trip for no reason by having the vampire murder a dog. Pretty bad move the whole time. There was no reason for this and if anything the owner had a good idea as self defense but you know that it’s doomed against a vampire so it just ends up hurting the experience further.

The soundtrack is really good though and a highlight of the movie. It really pops out at you and keeps the movie moving at a fast pace. It’s not the kind of music you would typically expect in a mystery but it works really well. A good soundtrack definitely elevates a scene and it certainly helps make this one more interesting as well. It doesn’t save the film from its issues but at least gives you something fun to listen to.

The writing is also pretty solid. I like the fast paced script at least with the characters all yelling at each other the whole time. There is a ton of banter here and Kolchak really doesn’t hold back no matter who he is talking too. Whether it’s the boss or some random guy Kolchak is going to be yelling and kicking up a fuss immediately. He’s passionate about his work which is a good thing. Also he is a great reporter which the other characters can’t really deny. Kolchak pulls out every trick in the book in order to get the answers.

So the film is at its best when it’s focused on the detective angle. I like the mystery angle and the process of finding out the clues. The old school detective work just really works out well so I could see this series having a lot of potential if they can just stick away from the supernatural angle. Even with a vampire it could have helped if the characters caught the vampire a little sooner but you feel bad for the victims who don’t really have a chance here. Then throw in all the scenes of the heroes doing their best not to help and it means you can never really be having a great time here. The film has some light banter but there’s always a dead body at the end of each conversation.

Overall, The Night Stalker is a pretty interesting film in a lot of ways. Honestly it would be more interesting if the villain was not supernatural but I do get the appeal. It’s essentially a look at how the world might react to a vampire in a super realistic setting like this. The problem mainly is it falls into the usual vampire issues and of course the film had to squeeze in some animal violence. Not a great look and you just wish the heroes could have done more to stop this guy a little sooner. The body count was really quite high by the end. You can do better for a mystery title.

Overall 3/10

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for some more vampires! This movie definitely got some buzz because of the whole Abraham Lincoln thing which I thought was pretty clever. It’s a nice way to blend the supernatural and history by adding him in there. Naturally I do prefer a more futuristic setting myself but it works out better than some of the other vampire films that I’ve seen. Still not a thumbs up mind you but not a horrible film or anything.

The movie doesn’t waste time as Abraham’s mother is murdered by a vampire early on. He wants to avenge her but isn’t really able to do anything against superhuman creatures like this. Initially he doesn’t even know that the assailant was a vampire and tries using a gun but it doesn’t do much. Fortunately he runs into a guy named Henry who offers to train Abraham but only if the hero puts aside his quest for vengeance. Henry will give him the targets and they will continue to take down all of the vampires but slowly and surely. Abraham lies and agrees to this but knows that deep down he has to avenge his mother at all cots! He trains in the art of slaying vampire and gets quite good at it which also starts to get the attention of the higher up members among the villains. Will Abraham be okay?

It’s always fun to have someone find out about what’s going on beyond their small pocket of the world. Once Abraham learns about the vampires he starts seeing them everywhere. Sure enough there are tons of them and murdering them all will take more than a lifetime. Henry does offer to turn Abraham into a vampire but he declines since that would be going a step too far. I definitely get it since being immortal really sounds like a pain after a while. You have endless enemies and while you can’t die, you can be put into positions where you might wish that you could.

I do think Henry’s role is a little too passive at times though. He has Abraham do most of the work but doesn’t actively take down a bunch of vampires himself. Henry makes some excuses like how he can’t really go against them and I forget if it’s a power level thing or something relating to the blood but you have to find a way to get around that. In a way being a vampire puts him in a better position to do a lot of damage than Abe when you really think about it. So yeah he really just needs to step up and get the job done.

I did like him for the most part beyond that but he does have some sketchy moments later on. Basically he’s the kind of guy who will always be hiding some things and you have to decide if that’s a dealbreaker or not. For Abraham it nearly was but ultimately he gets past it. Abraham is a very reasonable main character. He fights as needed and helps a lot of people out. He doesn’t really love having to use violence all the time but it’s the only way that really works.

Near the end of the film he even tries to give up fighting for a while but it wasn’t to be. I do like that we actually got to see him as President/leader for a while though. At first he’s just a solo hunter doing his own thing but after that he gets to make commands and lead his troops. With the villains using an army of vampires the heroes did have to adapt after all. I do question if the weapons are really enough to balance things though. Once the vampires started to move more openly I feel like the humans wouldn’t stand a chance. Being so outmatched physically is something that it’s difficult to make up for even with a bunch of guns and ammo.

Abraham’s boss Joshua was a good character. He had some nice banter and went over well as one of the supporting characters. His friend Will also did good and the whole time I had been expecting him to be some kind of undercover agent/traitor so I was glad instead he was someone that Lincoln could depend on. Mary shows up for a bit which makes sense if you know your history and she was a solid character. In general the heroes were all reasonably solid here.

The villains are more on the forgettable side. Yeah they’re definitely powerful and don’t go down easily but they’re basically just your standard vampires. So watch enough in the genre and you won’t even remember them. They’re not bad though, I guess at least Adam was good as the main leader of the vampires. The one who bumped off the mother was more on the petty side and he wasn’t nearly as impressive. He’s only able to win when the odds are overwhelmingly in his favor but otherwise he’s not much of a thinker or anything like that.

The film ultimately suffers from the usual vampire issues. It can be a little brutal on the violence with everyone getting bitten and the blood sucking never ends up working out. The fight scenes do require an extensive amount of disbelief to be thrown out the window because no matter how big the axe is, Abe is still just a normal guy. The vampires all have super speed and strength so they should have a leg up on the competition. Dodging an axe for example should be rather easy right? Yet Abe is slaughtering tons of vampires and by the end of the film they really get hit with the nerf as they can’t do anything. You just know that doesn’t make sense.

There isn’t a whole lot of time for fun in this film. It’s really a lot of going from one vampire attack to the next but it still does track better than most other vampire films because it feels like there’s a real story here. Yeah that probably seems like a big shot to the other films but for example the sole focus isn’t on everyone getting bitten. Abe has an actual character arc going here and it can almost feel like a comic book movie at times.

Overall, Abe Lincoln makes for a fun protagonist and I definitely think this movie was a good idea. I’d just put him up against robots or something but making more alternate historical pasts with a supernatural twist is just a lot of fun. It’s probably a bit riskier in the sense that you want to be careful how you adapt certain characters for fear of backlash but if there’s enough good attention to detail then you should be fine. From everything I know of Abe I’d say the film’s portrayal seemed rather solid. I also really liked the ending which isn’t really a cliffhanger so much as a callback but it could work both ways.

Overall 4/10

Blacula Review

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Oof, this film was pretty bad. I’m just going to say it upfront, this one was not a winner by any stretch of the imagination. Initially it started off with a little potential as the main character seems like a reasonable guy. Perhaps he would be an anti-hero of sorts who only feeds on the blood of the wicked. A lot of potential right there but nah it just becomes another B version of the Dracula film which was already quite bad. There isn’t much to redeem about this film to be honest.

The movie starts off with a guy going to Dracula and asking him to stop slavery basically. Dracula laughs and basically confirms that he loves slavery and this whole thing was a trap. The guy tries to fight him off but promptly gets bitten. His wife dies and the guy is left in the tomb. Many years later, he wakes up and is now the vampire known as Blacula!! Surely he will now be going around trying to help people out, destroy any other vampires in existence and keep onto his righteous cause right? Wrong!! He hungers and so he begins to drain everyone as he goes through life. He then finds a girl who looks like his late wife and decides that he wants her. Can the others stop him?

As you can probably guess one of my big issues here is just how Blacula is suddenly super evil. As a normal person he was a good guy trying to do the right thing. Why did he have to suddenly fall to such depths now? It doesn’t make sense and critically assassinates his character. There’s also no reason for this. You could absolutely have him fall in love with this lady and try to win her over without all the threats and bumping everyone off. The main villain here could have just been Dracula who had kept on living throughout all of these years. Boom you’d have a great story right there.

Unfortunately this film could not think things through and just went with this sad approach instead. The movie plays out exactly as you would expect with Blacula picking everyone off. One of the worst instances of this is when he is running through the streets and bumps into a cab. So the driver gets out and she naturally gives him a talking too…and he decides to murder her? Not to mention that he’s hunting around a black neighborhood. You can see the irony here right?? He was fighting to stop slavery, give equal rights to all…and now he’s basically murdering a bunch of the black community.

It undermines his character even more. Now if you said that Dracula injected his personality into Blacula then that could have been something. Honestly it would still have been a very baffling decision but at least it would make sense but the film never even hints at that. At best you can say we do see how he is losing his mind and getting more feral but that’s just standard vampire stuff. There’s still nothing in there that would cause his personality to do a complete 180. This is definitely a very lackluster film I have to say.

Of course it has the usual vampire movie issues as well like all the blood draining and everything. No matter how many times I see it I still find the whole thing a bit revolting. You should do vampire films without the draining. Think about it and you’ll see that I’m right. Have the vampires scare people in a different way and then we’re good. Like seeing Blacula in a dark alley with the cape is already scary so if you know he’s going to murder you then you don’t need the draining.

Okay enough about Blacula. Tina is the main heroine here and she doesn’t look great but you also have to cut her some slack because some of that is the subtle vampire mind control. Also it’s tough because she doesn’t really have an out here. Technically no matter where she goes or what she does there is no way to escape this guy. It’s a rather cruel environment to be in without a way out. Then you have Thomas who mainly leads the search in trying to stop this guy. He’s a reasonable main guy doing his best to help out but there’s nothing about him that particularly stands out. Much like this movie in general…..

Still, he’s good and does get results. The movie’s ending isn’t particularly satisfying but the movie did end which is what I was waiting for. At last the journey was over. There are some silver linings here like the characters but on the whole this film just makes no sense. They seriously need to remake it but with Blacula as an anti-hero. Or if you want him to be a true villain, have Dracula put him into stasis and when he wakes up have him appear in an area where his community is being terrorized or something. So now he wants revenge on the world. That kind of gimmick would go a long way. Just about anything instead of what we got to be honest.

The dark atmosphere worked well and the film had a lot of tension. So capitalize on all of that and maybe, just maybe you will have given the film a fighting chance to do something good. I wouldn’t hold my breath since it would still be a vampire film and would likely have the same issues though. At the end of the day there are very few good vampire films and I don’t see that really changing in the future.

Overall, Blacula is definitely a pretty bad film. In the end the movie did not even use the premise at all. Change Blacula to Dracula and nothing about the film changes. That’s probably the worst part in all of this because then it makes the whole thing pointless. You’ll be shaking your head the whole time and wondering why the movie even exists. If you want to watch a vampire film then watch The Batman vs Dracula instead. Hardly my favorite Batman film out there but it still blows this one away with ease.

Overall 1/10

Season of the Witch Review

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Whenever you have a film taking place back in the olden days with witches, demons, werewolves and the like I have to assume that the film is not going to be very good. Sure that is a general plot and so you can definitely surpass that if need be but what are the odds realistically right? I doubt they are very good at least with the track record and this one is no exception. Sure there are some interesting moments and plot lines scattered around the place but ultimately the movie could not capitalize on any of them and so it failed in the end.

The film starts off by showing us how skilled Felson and Behmen are. They utterly decimate opposing armies in every fight that they are in. We see a montage of them in countless fights and it’s definitely impressive how ahead of the curve they are in the battles. Nobody can really touch them or even come close. Well one day Behmen ends up murdering an innocent civilian and he becomes disillusioned with the whole thing. He now realizes that he was merely a soldier of battle and quite the army. Felson follows him but unfortunately they are quickly captured by the same army again. Their mission is to bring a suspected witch back into custody with them to face justice at a “fair” trial. Behmen doesn’t much like this but orders are orders and trying to escape the whole army again would be tricky. The girl’s name is Anna and she seems incredibly suspicious and crafty but that doesn’t automatically make her a witch. Behmen will have to handle this carefully.

I did find part of the intro funny in how quickly the two leads were captured though. These were the kingdom’s best warriors and yet they could be brought back in so easily? Have to admit that they lost a lot of hype there. I give some credit for wanting to leave the army in the first place of course but I really didn’t think that they would be brought back so quickly. As for the mission itself, well in a way they know that this won’t be a fair trial but they aren’t the justice system so what can be done? I think just running off for a second time would have been just fine to be honest but it is what it is.

Anna is unashamedly suspicious the whole time to the point where it can definitely be real amusing. She keeps on using magic and messing with the heroes so it seems obvious that she is a witch but they can’t prove it yet. She even goes out of her way to save someone who nearly plummeted to his doom by using her super strength. Even the characters can be confused sometimes on if she is sympathetic or not. It’s just really hard to get a read on her and that’s definitely by design. For what it’s worth she was a good antagonist for this reason. She really kept the heroes sharp and always on edge. Her abilities were solid too and versatile. She had flight, mind manipulation, animal summoning/transformation, super strength, etc. Yeah that’s a lot for any human to deal with and by the end her scenes get even better in hindsight.

Unfortunately you can probably guess how the animal summoning ended up being a net negative here. We have to sit through an extended scene of the heroes destroying a bunch of dogs that she transformed into werewolves. Definitely a scene that didn’t need to be here and it really drags down the experience. At this point they should have taken her down since this also directly murdered some members of the team. You don’t exactly need a trial when the villain openly murders people in front of you right? Well, unfortunately Debelzaq the priest says you do need that so there isn’t much the heroes can do about this. Behmen ultimately stands down but the body count only continues to rise.

These are guys who don’t have a no killing code or anything like that so in light of this it just doesn’t make sense to spare her. Anna will only continue to cause more death and destruction in her wake the longer they keep her alive. It’s always hard to defeat the supernatural and this is just another example of that. Behmen and the others are completely outmatched and only plot armor is enough to help them win. It’s why I say films always need to be careful not to make their villains end up being too powerful or there’s just no way to buy into the hero ever winning. When you create an unwinnable situation that’s exactly what happens.

Ultimately I did like Behmen as a character though. He wanted to do the right thing and protect everyone. His motivations were always good and he let his actions do the talking for him like when he left the army early on. He won’t be a part of anything that is unjust and has the strongest moral center of the group. His partner Felson is solid as well but that guy’s more relaxed and will just do whatever he feels like doing. He follows Behmen since they’re friends but it’s less about the morality of it and more because that’s just what he wants to do.

The film actually has a fairly large cast of characters accompanying the main two on the trip but you will forget most of them immediately because they don’t do anything. You’ve got a guy with a tragic past, the priest who is always ready to exorcise, the comic relief maps guy, etc. They’re all just here for the body count and you know it. There is never even an attempt to start liking these guys or making them a part of the main cast. It’s just not happening and so the film treats their characters rather half heartedly.

You’ve got your share of jump scares here but the film is more action than horror. The film just likes using some strong imagery so that you can see how threatening the villains are. We get lots of zoom ins on rather deformed faces on the witch side and while the film isn’t super violent, it does have some moments here and there. The imagery can be more gross than violent at times although I suppose it depends on the scene.

I think this film could have really shined by focusing on the main two guys as they look for a battle that is worth fighting. They stop just blindly listening to orders and look for a chance to really make a difference. Having them work for the army again was a really odd move and not the one I would have chosen. From there they are back to following orders even when they have doubts and that’s what doesn’t work as well about this film. It sort of goes against their whole character choice in the beginning to do that.

Overall, I liked one of the twists at the end of the film but this one didn’t live up to its full potential. After a while it felt like this film was even trying to be the next Exorcist although it still beats those easily. Witches can make for decent villains when you focus more on their magic and the cool fantasy battles we can have but outside of that they aren’t super interesting. So when you just have Anna locked up in the cage for most of the film it takes some of the bite out of the experience. A sequel could maybe do better but lets shift the time-frame to modern day. Trust me that setting works way better.

Overall 2/10

Call of the Night

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Vampires? Yeah it’s always hard to make a really good adventure revolving around that element and this title is no exception. We’ve got the usual blood sucking here but additionally there aren’t a lot of hype characters to try and counter this. The main guy/heroine definitely aren’t particularly likable yet. If you have an excellent plot like Records of a Fallen Vampire then perhaps you can make it but otherwise you’re in for a tough time. If we start getting a bunch of action scenes then this title may end up improving but for now it feels like it won’t be able to get beyond the premise. I’ll have a review for the series up once I’ve completed it.

Overall 2/10

Count Yorga, Vampire Review

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Now this is an awful film so prepare yourself. Dracula already set the bar extremely low with all of those installments but somehow Yorga is even worse. The film’s extremely annoying with characters not making the right moves and it goes for being gritty for no reason. They definitely want to show that Yorga is as demented as possible but he’s the Count so we already knew that.

The movie starts with the main characters doing a seance so that Donna can see her mother again but unfortunately the whole thing doesn’t go well. It just gives Count Yorga a chance to mind control Donna a bit. He scurries off but later on Erica and Paul end up driving the guy home which is a big mistake. Now the Count has them in his sites and things get tricky from there. Will the count be taking everyone down or can Dr. Hayes be brought in to stop this?

So where to even start with this one? We’ve got the usual blood sucking everywhere but that is really the least of our worries at this point. Where the film really surpasses its limits here is it decides to also give the Count a sidekick. This guy is basically desperate to have a lady of his own and so he ends up attacking one of Yorga’s mind controlled victims. This is the scene that absolutely should have been cut out of the film. It’s off screen but he basically has his way with her.

It’s purely here for grit and shock value because it has nothing to do with anything. This guy has no business being in the film in general. We’re here for the vampire, not the right hand man who is messing around here. The film was basically doomed to be a 0 from this point although that was rarely in doubt.

Yorga is also shown to be one of the more perverted villains as the guy has fun commanding the victims to mess around with each other while he watches. You wouldn’t see this kind of behavior from Dracula who at least kept some dignity most of the time. This guy also can’t handle himself in a straight fight. Half the time he has the mind controlled zombie vampires go in to fight for him. Near the end Yorga is confronted so he immediately runs off.

Then he has the element of surprise along with his supposedly superior vampire physical abilities and yet he gets rocked. The guy has no defense to the stake but he also doesn’t have the speed to dodge or the strength to mess with the aim? He just looks so weak by the end that it takes away from his tough talk the whole film.

I’ll just give him one thing, I liked his banter with Dr. Hayes. It’s the only good part of the film as they both subtly threaten each other. Hayes hints that he knows Yorga is a vampire while Yorga advises him to leave while he still can. I like these threatening conversations like this. It keeps things interesting and you keep wondering which character will back down first.

That is the only good part of the film though as the rest goes back to the film just being awful again. Why do the heroes decide to attack only once it’s night time? I suppose they still thought there was hope to save some of the captives but they really took forever and should have attacked at the crack of dawn when they had to leave early. That would have definitely been their best play here and it would have taken Yorga by surprise. Once it was night time the deck was stacked against them.

Another issue with the film is that none of the characters are particularly likable. Donna doing that seance didn’t help matters and everyone was rather rude about it the whole time. Just don’t participate in it at that point. Paul and Erica were messing around too much in the van and didn’t keep their guards up.

The only good character here was Hayes and unfortunately things don’t go very well for him there. He definitely should have prepared himself a bit more but at least he did last for most of the film so I’ll give him some props there. It’s not like he had a whole lot of help in the film anyway.

Michael was the only other one to fight and unfortunately he lets his guard down a lot too and was too slow to help in the end. We do get the classic jump scare at the end of the movie though. It may not be the most impressive one but it gets the job done. You’d expect nothing less here.

It’s hard to make a vampire film that’s all that good but you could absolutely do one that’s way better than this. Make the Count someone who needs to drink blood to survive so you keep his cocky attitude and have him take everyone out but he just destroys them instead of keeping them alive to play with. Remove his right hand man and make the main characters a little more likable. Have them be more focused on trying to figure out what the Count’s deal is and cut out the half hearted romances squeezed in for no reason. Then without all of the shock value scenes perhaps this could actually be a decent movie…perhaps.

Overall, Count Yorga is a huge miss. It’ll end up sinking the vampire genre to new lows for you so I’d advise you to just skip this one entirely. There’s no reason to check it out at all so instead watch a Dracula film if you have to but of course I would advise just completely not watching a vampire film as it is. It’s just very rare that they end up being good anyway so why bother right? I doubt anyone will remember Yorga in a few years though. The guy is already over the hill.

Overall 0/10