Category Archives: 5 Star Movies

Jerry Maguire Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

It’s time to look at one of the oldest Tom Cruise films. This was back before he was climbing towers and taking down whole organizations in the MI series. It’s definitely very different from his other movies. This is a fun one but a film that also has its share of flaws. It’s time to look at a day in the life of Jerry.

Jerry is a great sports agent. He’s always been able to snag his athletes and get them to sign him on for the big money. Thing is, his company helps so many people that they don’t get quality face time with their agents. Jerry decides that things need to run a little differently around the office and releases a memo that they should treat the players better. He is quickly fired as a result and Jerry decides to start his own business in response. One girl from the office, Dorothy, decides to go with him. Can they succeed against such a big company?

The sports part of the film is definitely its strong suit. The montage of Jerry trying to contact a bunch of players was a lot of fun even if most of them wouldn’t come through for him. It’s so well done that you even don’t mind the rival who is definitely the antagonist here. The guy makes for a pretty solid villain overall. He has a lot of confidence and certainly a good amount of connections as well. Deciding to fire Jerry at a cafe was also a smart move to endure the lead wouldn’t fight back. It’s under handed for sure, but I’d expect nothing less from corporate.

Meanwhile Jerry is just a fun character to have in the lead as well. He is great at bluffing and acting confident even when that is certainly not the case at all. He certainly made a memorable exit when he was leaving the company and lived up to his own memo about giving his players a lot of face time. Jerry did his best to be fair. Where he falters is in the romance angle. He was already with someone prior to the film starting so you know that she is going to lose out to Dorothy. Usually the films either make the old flame super mean or super nice depending on if they want you to be sympathetic or not. In this case I think they were going for the former but it didn’t work. The lady was brutally honest at times but she was also dependable and just seemed like a solid character. She was also willing to make the relationship work but Jerry was adamant about them breaking up. Keep in mind that later on he talks about the exact opposite since he is apparently no quitter. It was hard to believe him by that point. At least she hit him with a nice combo before leaving.

As for the romance with Dorothy I naturally couldn’t go for it. Of course they couldn’t simply be professional co workers who were friends without taking it a step further right? It had to be a cliche romance. It’s unfortunate because it continues the narrative that you can’t stay friends in such a scenario. It also escalated quite quickly and the actual scenes take way too long. They drag and drag as they pull down the film’s score.

Then we have Dorothy’s kid who is super annoying. He is basically just around to get everyone in trouble and/or guilt trip them. He hangs up the phone on Jerry’s biggest client which turned out to be okay of course but if he client had taken offense and left that would have been it for Jerry’s career. Everything works out for the kid of course but he puts himself into a lot of bad situations so it’s hard to really feel bad for him. His emotional scenes also don’t work so basically any scene with him out the film to a halt.

Meanwhile with Dorothy herself she wasn’t a bad character but not a particularly good one either. On one hand I do appreciate the fact that she stuck up for Jerry by leaving with him even if it wasn’t the most financially responsible thing to do. She made a stand and stuck by it. She was supportive through the company’s tough start and put in the work. Then the romance set in and that was that.

Let’s talk about the best character here, the football player. He is very loud and always talking but the important thing is that he speaks his mind. No one ever has to guess what he is thinking because he will spell it out for you. He is trying to make sure he secures a good future for his family while at the same time working on his game so it’s tough. He is taking a gamble on Jerry the same way that Jerry is getting everything on him. Both characters have a mutual benefit here so naturally they stick together quite closely. Jim is a good friend to have and without him Jerry would have been doomed right from the start.

It was also nice to see the Cowboys dominating the competition in the climax as well. The movie quickly cuts away before the Cowboys steal the win to spare Cardinal fans the tragic flashbacks but from the scenes in screen you can probably tell that they seem to have the edge. The Cowboys were a very intense hard hitting team back then and didn’t lose many games.

Overall, This was a pretty fun film but the romance did hurt it quite a lot. Those scenes would be quite painful and take away from the really fun first half. Considering that this film was handling a lot of genres I’d say that it did pretty well. If it took out the romance drama and focused on the sport comedy part it would have been a lot better. As it stands I would still recommend checking the film out. It does feature the iconic Tom Cruise run near the end which I was starting to think actually would not make it.

Overall 5/10

The Adventures of Robin Hood Review

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Time to finally watch a movie about Robin Hood. Considering what a big icon this guy is you could almost say that it’s about time right? The tale of Robin Hood is a classic one since the idea of a thief who actually steals to give to the poor is such a noble one. He’s an anti hero that you can root for and depending on the circumstances you could call him a full fledged hero as he only stops crooks. He’s like Batman if the hero lived in a normal world. That being said, I wouldn’t call this a very good movie.

The film starts off with a lot of exposition but basically all you need to know is that the rightful king of the land was captured. Now his villainous brother rules the land and has decided to enslave its people. He steals their money to make himself even richer. Robin Hood doesn’t like this and demands an audience with the chap. They each talk a good game as both fighters posture until they can lift their chins no higher. Robin Hood escapes with his life but vows to make things very difficult on the false king. Robin is true to his words and soon the villain can feel his grip loosening. He comes up with many traps to ensnare Robin Hood, but will they work?

There is definitely a lot to like about this film though so I’ll start with some of the easy positives. The fight scenes here are a blast. I do miss these retro fights where the gallant lead grabs a sword and is easily able to fend off dozens of trained professionals. There are many instances where Robin Hood is completely surrounded by an army and still manages to escape. It’s cheesy and not very realistic but it is a blast. He is just the most capable athlete in the whole kingdom and they have to get used to this.

The archer contest was also a lot of fun and plays right into Robin Hood’s ego. He will walk into every single trap just to show that he is not afraid. It may not always succeed but its this attitude that made it easy for him to get such a following in this kingdom. He’s a lot of fun as the lead and makes sure to enjoy himself rather than brooding and taking the whole thing too seriously. He is constantly laughing and being merry.

The writing for the film is also on point. All of the characters talk tough and do a good job of dishing out subtle threats. The script is on point and for the most part even the worst characters (The heroine’s maid and the comic relief member of Robin Hood’s forces) aren’t too unbearable. The less screen time for them the better though.

On the flip side as this takes place in a forest we do have some animal violence though. A deer goes down for the count twice and that was most unfortunate. The film would have shot up a couple of extra points otherwise. It was pretty unnecessary and of course it doesn’t do any favors in trying to get you to root for Robin Hood since it was one of his men who shot the creature. He should have stuck to being a vegetarian.

The cast can also be a little weak at times. Of course Robin Hood is a great character, but most of his followers aren’t very great. The drunk guy who fell asleep with his food definitely couldn’t be taken seriously. Then we have the drunks and the random guys who are always running every which way. Of course the film is trying to show that he is grabbing a group of rag tag fighters and turning them into pros, but it gets to the point where you have to wonder why the army isn’t completely destroying these guys. The heroine is a little better as she at least tries to stay strong before getting roped into Robin Hood’s schemes. It seems a lot more convincing than in the new film that just came out/is coming out.

I actually did like the two main villains quite a bit though. The corrupt King had quite a lot of confidence and seemed more reasonable than you would expect from his kind of character. Not reasonable in the sense that he would grant any mercy, but in the sense that he didn’t underestimate Robin Hood. By all accounts he actually should have destroyed that guy once and for all. The King’s right hand man was also a lot of fun. Gisbourne really doesn’t like Robin Hood for personal reasons and it makes for a fun dynamic. Their final bout is also a good payoff for this plot and while the hero does try to spare him multiple times, this does get a little harder throughout the fight until it is simply too late.

Overall, The Adventures of Robin Hood is a bit of a mixed bag. It has some pretty strong positives like the main character, the fights, and the writing. On the other hand it does fall into the animal violence trap while also possessing some annoying characters. To put it one way, I wouldn’t really watch this film again. It’s a pretty entertaining experience which is good since you at least won’t get bored during it, but there are just better options around. If you really like the Robin Hood adventures then by all means you should check it out. Likewise if you just enjoy this kind of adventure film about overthrowing a corrupt king. As I said, the film is pretty fun even if I had to deduct some points. Quite a lot happens over the course of the movie and it even has multiple climaxes which was rare for older films.

Overall 5/10

Morning Glory Review

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It’s time to look at a rom-com about an early morning news show. I’ve never bothered to watch one myself as if I have to wake up that early in the morning it’s because I’ve got to dash out or have to catch Grand Finals in a tournament. It’s an interesting option though and I suppose it’s good that people have something good and wholesome to watch at that hour. It’s a pretty fun film that had some good potential, but ends up squandering more of it with a rushed romance subplot. Take the rom out of the rom-com and this movie would have been a lot better.

The film starts off with Becky having a good day at work. She has to get up extremely early for her job, but she’s used to it and also enjoys it. Unfortunately she is fired due to corporate wanting to cut down costs and adding someone in from outside the company. Fortunately Becky gets hired by another Early Morning show, but this one has really been under tough times and will soon be cancelled. She has to get the ratings up very quickly or she will be fired once again. To do that she will have to switch up the daily routine of talking about nothing and getting the station to report real news. The first step in this process is bringing back Mike from his unofficial retirement.

Right away Becky is introduced to the politics of the workplace. It’s handled pretty realistically with all of the unwritten rules about who you can and can’t talk to depending on the situation. It really depends on where you work of course, but there are always intangibles to get used to and then the work will go smoothly. Alternately you can try to be oblivious or just boldly ignore the rules and have fun. Work should be fun so just keep that in mind and the rest will fall into place. Becky notices that some of the workers aren’t actually working and that’s part of why the show is going downhill. As such, her first order of business is to fire someone. After that she looks for Mike.

See, Mike is actually hired by the company, but he refuses to work so he is currently earning 6 million dollars just to stay at home and play golf. I forgot that TV reporters are paid so much, but either way it is crazy to see a company effectively throwing away 6 million dollars on someone who doesn’t work. That’s probably the most unrealistic part of the movie if we’re being honest here.

Becky has to use some extreme measures, but before long she gets the station back in shape. She did a really good job of growing into the position considering that she jumped from entry level into being the big boss instantly. That shows how desperate the company was, but also that she had the talent for it all along. The end of the movie is a little iffy though. She is offered a position at a better company where she will be making significantly more money. It’s always a tough call of course, but do you go with the job where you were very close to being fired and have absolutely no job security, but get to hang out with your friends, or go for the big bucks? I don’t really think the latter choice is wrong in this case, but of course it’s ultimately her choice. I do think if you like a job enough then the pay doesn’t matter much, but I certainly do factor job security into that.

The only weak part of Becky’s character is the romance with Adam. So, Adam shows up out of nowhere and they immediately hook up. It’s especially odd since she was only around for like a day and had a pretty big position in the company but he didn’t care. The guy’s a freelance worker, but still, I’d figure that you don’t hit on the boss day 1. My mistake. This romance is just so terrible through and through. Adam is the personification of bad advice as he tries to tell Becky not to take her job too seriously and throws her phone in the fridge so she can’t use it. Even by the end he’s a bad influence and he never got to be even a remotely good character. The romance alone took this film down 2 stars as it was just soooo bad. It’s also basically just an excuse for fanservice as otherwise the film had played it straight. Well, we did have the guy who got fired and his unnecessary gimmick, but at least that didn’t last long.

Mike is portrayed as a really unlikable guy who is super stuck up and the film succeeded on that angle. It’s impossible to root for this guy and the only reason he shows up at all is for the money. There’s nothing heroic about this guy and he just brings in a bad attitude to the company the whole time. He’s an entertaining character of course, but strictly as the villain. I don’t really buy into the cheesy turnaround at the end. Heroic or not though, he is probably the most entertaining part of the film.

Then we’ve got Colleen who has lost all faith in the show and believes that Becky is doomed. I guess this is for good reason since apparently none of the other bosses did very well. At least she was the most open to trying new things though. Without her the show wouldn’t have had a chance. Not much more to say about Adam than what I already covered so we can skip this guy. One of the worst characters in the film. Then we have Lenny who has been with the company for ages, but decided not to move up. He likes his current job since he doesn’t have to work at all and lets everyone else take the risks. Definitely a smart character since sometimes going up isn’t necessarily the best thing to do. Then there is the big boss Jerry. The actor always does a good job of just talking nonstop without taking a breath and that’s what makes the character fun. Jerry doesn’t actually get to do all that much besides that so it’s more of a glorified cameo appearance than anything. Still a very fun character.

As I keep mentioning, the film was just a lot of fun. The writing isn’t amazing or anything, but it manages to deliver on a lot of the jokes. The film doesn’t drag on either so the pacing was well kept as well. The first half does beat the second, but that’s how it is in almost all rom-coms as the second half gets a little more serious since the film has to wrap up at some point. It never gets too weak though, it’s just that the romance scenes really destroy all of its momentum. If you enjoy rom-coms then you likely won’t mind the scenes much so they shouldn’t really impact how much you enjoy the movie.

Overall, Morning Glory is a good ride through the world of TV Broadcasting. The film manages to get quite a few big names in it. Certainly more than I would have expected. The plot is fairly unique and I do like how for once the main character didn’t mess everything up. The trope here is usually that the lead is in over her head and by the end of the film learns how to be a great leader. Here, Becky knew what to do from the start and just kept making the show better and better until it finally surpassed its limits. That’s the kind of main character you want to have. She was almost good enough to save the film.

Overall 5/10

Futureworld Review

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That tagline is definitely a little dicey. It’s clever in its own way, but I get the feeling that it wouldn’t really fly nowadays. Here’s the problem, we don’t actually see the twist about fake people until the very climax of the film. Were the posters that came out before the film actually spoiling the entire movie so casually? All of the various posters that I’ve seen for the film have other lines more or less with the same premise. I’m surprised that the film would do such a thing since while it doesn’t come out of nowhere it is still treated as a rather big twist near the end of the film.

The film starts off by showing us Chuck the reporter. He’s a tough guy who always gets his scoop. He is the one who wrote the original piece on Westworld which destroyed whatever reputation the place had left after it murdered all of the guests. Well, he gets a call from someone who claims to have a scoop on the place, but just as Chuck arrives the guy is murdered. Chuck decides to go back to that amusement park and has to work alongside Tracy on the project. The two don’t get along but don’t mind quickly going past the friend zone anyway just to be contradictory. Westworld has reopened all of its sections except that one and now Futureworld is the main attraction. Chuck suspects that everything isn’t as it appears to be though and decides to check it out.

The elephant in the room is certainly how the place could still be operating. It is a huge leap in logic that the film never even tries to defend. The CEO talks about how they got some bad publicity but shrugs it off as if there was just a minor technical malfunction. Over 50 people died, but apparently the world doesn’t care as it is still quite busy. Surprisingly enough, World Leaders from around the planet are attending which is certainly fortunate for the company but would anyone really allow someone important to go to such a potentially dangerous place? I really don’t think so.

The main characters are also pretty unrealistic. As I mentioned a romance quickly starts between the main characters and it’s about as rushed as can be. It makes no sense and is just there to fulfill a quota. Tracy herself also comes across as way too mean and bold. She talks back to her boss and doesn’t care that he could fire her. Tracy goes out of her way to try and love Futureworld which is quite sad since she should at least stay objective about the place. She also can be a little slow on the uptake like when she fought her doppleganger. She is absolutely shocked even though she just saw the mech a few scenes ago. I’ll give her credit for somehow winning the gunfight though. That was still pretty impressive of her since I assume that the robot has a quick trigger finger.

As far as Chuck goes, I do like how antagonistic he is to everyone. He tries to get along with Tracy, but doesn’t give Mr. Duffy and corporate the same effort. After all, he’s not here to make friends with them, he’s just here to get a story. After seeing his informant murdered so casually it makes sense that he would be rather obsessed at this point. Still, he’s not very smart. At one point he grabs his gun and is ready for anything. In the next scene he puts the gun down to make a phone call and then gives his back to the door. Naturally this is when Mr. Duffy walks in to snatch the gun and hold him at gun point. Chuck only wins because Duffy isn’t very smart and doesn’t even bother to check the rooms properly even though he suspects that Tracy is there.

For more scenes that will make you roll your eyes we do get a scene with the Gunslinger from the original film as Tracy goes for a rebound. Is it still a rebound if you get together with someone in your dreams? Absolutely, it’s just as valid cheating as if you were doing it in the real world, maybe even more so. It was definitely a scene that really didn’t feel necessary with the rest of the film and should have been cut out to be honest.

I guess the biggest problem with Futureworld is that it can be rather dull. There aren’t any real action scenes until the very end of the film. Most of it is just the characters wandering around. The beginning of the film started it off with a lot of tension and suspense, but it all dissipates by the time the film gets around to actually doing anything. The writing is also not that good so you can’t expect it to hold the film up either. That’s probably the biggest reason why Futureworld doesn’t end up being all that great. You need solid writing to pull this off. I also have to say that the actual Futureworld looked so boring that only a few minutes are actually spent on the spaceship. The rest of the film is just them in the labs or wandering around Westworld.

A sequel to this film would probably be more exciting. We now know that the whole island is filled with robots and run by other robots. Since their scheme to conquer the world may take a backseat after the story gets out, fighting will be their only option. It’ll be Terminator level action scenes happening everywhere although since the robots aren’t bullet proof the ending will be a lot different. Still, at least it’ll have more going on for it than this one had. For all of the first film’s faults, at least it was never all that dull.

Overall, Futureworld isn’t a great sequel, but to be fair Westworld wasn’t a good movie. Lets put it this way, Westworld has the far superior premise, but Futureworld has the better execution. It’s not by much though and the films are rather close to each other in quality. I think I would give Futureworld the edge overall, but it’s close if we look at it purely from how entertained you’ll be. If you can get past the annoying characters and the rather slow moving plot then it’s not all that bad. The film doesn’t do anything all that original this time around, but at least it avoids easy mistakes like animal violence since mainly there are just a lot of robots around. I wouldn’t recommend this film unless you’re a big sci-fi fan and like robots. Then I suppose that it’s probably worth checking out.

Overall 5/10

Cause for Alarm Review

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It’s time to look at a very old school thriller. This one may not have a bunch of explosions or guys running around in cool suits, but it does have a letter that could potentially destroy someone’s life. It’s a smaller scale thriller to keep you at the edge of your seat. It’s certainly aged quite a lot as the main heroine would likely act a whole lot different if this was made nowadays. I wouldn’t really call it a bad film, but it can make for an annoying watch and definitely doesn’t have a whole lot of replay value. This is one of those films that you only watch once for the suspense and then move on.

The plot follows a lady named Ellen. She used to go out with a doctor named Ranney but then she rebounded with George. They married very quickly but then George got injured and was forced into early retirement. He has now gone mad with paranoia that Ellen is cheating on him and that along with Ranney she plans to end his life. His only course of action is to try and deliver a letter to the mail man but he doesn’t have the strength to stand. He has to give her the letter to mail and then the government will come to protect him. Ellen doesn’t realize what danger she is about to get herself into if she delivers the letter. Who will win this battle of wits!?

The annoying aspect of the film is Ellen basically being at George’s beck and call the whole time. She has essentially made the wrong choice in getting together with him and has been paying for it ever since he was discharged from the army. As he grows meaner and meaner she still stands by him and tends to his every need. You just want her to throw him out or just ignore his various demands after a while. It doesn’t appear as if he can do a lot about it since he is supposedly bed ridden. That’s why a great plot twist would have been if she was actually trying to destroy him. That would have completely changed the dynamic of her character and turned her from a pushover to a tactician. It may have meant that she wouldn’t be as heroic, but at least she would have taken a stand against him. George couldn’t die soon enough.

Even in the flashback when George first appears he looks pretty bad. He basically tricks Ellen into being with him for a while as a lot of misunderstandings led her to believe that he was a sick man who needed cheering up. Either way she should have left the room the instant he started flirting since at the time she was with Ranney. Ranney didn’t seem to care much considering his stake in it so I can at least see why she left him. The guy definitely didn’t have much personality and didn’t seem to think about the situation much. Even in the present he doesn’t actually contribute much. It is more reassuring to have someone supporting you, but it’s barely better than nothing when this guy is involved. At least he did get Ellen to tell him what was going on rather than just taking what she was saying at face value.

George’s mother appears to also reinforce the notion that he was always a bad guy. She explains that he never really wants to see her and closes himself off from the world. All of this still makes me wonder how he got together with Ellen in the first place. Was it really just because he was an air force pilot and that’s supposed to be super impressive? You’ll just have to suspend your disbelief for the whole movie on that front. So, part 1 of the film drags on a bit as all of the George scenes will just have you rolling your eyes as you wait for him to die. I suppose this may be different if you didn’t know that he was going to die, but it was in the movie summary so you know that the plot can’t start moving until he does.

Part 2 of the film is significantly better as Ellen tries to challenge the postal service. The mailman is a stickler for the rules who refuses to give back mail after he has taken it, even if it is the same person who gave him the mail. He tries to spin it as company policy but I just think he had some beef against the main characters. I’ve never heard of such an outlandish policy and considering what a small town this is I hardly think he would have gotten in trouble. He has a legal leg to stand on I guess, but it doesn’t make the guy any more likable. Ellen doesn’t really do a good job of confronting his superior though. She does come across as really unreasonable from the guy’s point of view. She should have either tried to falsify the statement at home with the forms he gave her or just thrown in the towel and start to prepare a defense. Instead she keeps trying for the letter until the guy promises to put it through. You always have to be thinking of what tactic to use for discussions like this instead of just looking desperate.

Part of the irony in the film is that Ellen is making George’s job very easy. She runs around everywhere which looks suspicious and won’t even talk to the neighbors. It’s too bad since the neighbor seemed like a nice enough character who probably would have been able to help. The kid wouldn’t have been a very good witness though. He’s not a bad character, but who would believe a kid? He also seemed rather greedy with how many cookies he was trying to eat the whole time. You’d think he would have been satisfied with 1 or 2 when they were offered.

I have to finally question George’s plan one more time. He wanted Ellen to deliver the letter, but lets face it. If she really was going to murder him why would she possibly deliver the letter? She would have read or burned it instead because you wouldn’t take such a chance when the plan is so close to being complete. George’s plan only works if Ellen was innocent which really makes it a poor plan indeed. Fortunately for Ellen things work out all right. While there will probably still be some questions and inquiries they will be a lot easier without the letter. In this case destroying the evidence actually turned out to be a good thing.

Overall, Cause For Alarm isn’t the best thriller because it only works thanks to a lot of conveniences. The main character had to be a wall flower and also one who isn’t very intelligent for this to work at all. If she hadn’t been overreacting the whole time the letter may not have been very effective anyway since she would have been able to convince the world that George was crazy along with Ranney. Ranney was involved so him being a doctor wouldn’t end the discussion but it would still help. I have a feeling that a lot of George’s cohorts would have been able to have given supporting testimony as well. If you still like to see a tense film where it seems like the walls are closing in on the lead then I suppose this is a decent thriller to watch. At the very least the writing is fairly solid except for George’s cringy villainous rants. Otherwise, I’d say stick to other retro films. There have just been many that were better than this one.

Overall 5/10

Elevator To The Gallows Review

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It’s time to take a look at a French murder thriller. It’s pretty rare that I see a film which isn’t American or Japanese so it’s always interesting to see how everyone else handles this. It’s a fairly old film as it’s still in the black and white period so as you’d expect the writing is on point. It is partially a romance film which can be rather dramatic, but the film’s at its best when an old guy shows up to mock the teenagers and their subplot. Time to learn more about this guy.

So the film starts off with Julien and Florence recommitting their resolve to murdering her husband so Julien can be the rebound guy. He breaks in and murders the husband pretty easily, but then forgets his rope at the window ledge. He runs back after hours to get it, but as soon as he gets on the elevator the power goes out. He is now stuck with no way to get out and his only hope is that Florence will learn where he is. Meanwhile his car is stolen by Louis and Veronique as they decide to cruise around town. Unfortunately, they decide to commit murder under his name which will further complicate matters. Julien has to trick the cops into not pinning the first murder on him while also avoiding the fake charge of the second. It’s going to be a long day.

From the start the movie makes it clear that the leads are the villains so you are rooting against them. As such, it’s actually pretty satisfying when the elevator crashes and things don’t go right for Julien. He dug his own grave and now he’ll have to get used to it. There’s not much that he can do from this point so you can’t really blame him for a lack of trying. He was the most experienced and talented member of the villains so taking him out of the equation worked well for the cops. He also held up well under interrogation, but eventually he cracked from lack of sleep. The cops always get their man.

You don’t really see this form of interrogation too often, but it is quite effective as getting the suspect to concede their guilt. Physically nothing actually happens to the suspect, but he/she is kept from sleeping until the cops get the story they want. After even 1 day of this it can be tough to function so even the great Julien fell to the technique. You have to be careful about getting a false conviction like this though, but I guess the cops decided it was worth the risk. It did work out well here after all.

Florence isn’t the greatest sidekick you could ask for. She further incriminates Julien by asking around for him everywhere. She was also fooled quite easily by Louis as she thought it was Julien who sped by her. I guess the jacket trick worked, but would Julien really betray her so easily? It may be poetic since she ditched her husband and now has some paranoia that Julien would do the same thing to her. She did a reasonable job of tracking down Louis and making threats, but then she didn’t do a thorough enough job of preventing them from leaving. That’s game over.

Louis is unfortunately the worst character in the film. He is over the top with his many lies which is the only reason he and Veronique were caught. If he had played it cool or even somewhat calmly then he could have escaped. Instead he gets humiliated by a drunk, rich guy and then tries to steal his car. Not a very smart move and then shooting the couple just made an even bigger mess. He even messed up on trying to destroy himself with pills since he didn’t swallow enough of them. So much for that. You’ll be cringing whenever he is on screen. Veronique is a big improvement as she is also insane, but hides it well. She pretends not to want to go along with Louis’ plans, but always relents in the end. She just wants to keep up the appearance of being a good person even if it may not be all that accurate.

My favorite character here was actually the rich guy who kept making fun of Louis. Making fun of the teen was reason enough to like him, but we also can’t forget that this guy saw through the ruse immediately. It’s too bad he underestimated how dangerous the villains were though. The scene of him and his friend getting shot was fairly tragic and probably the saddest scene in the film. I was hoping they were going to live through this since they were a lot of fun. Maybe not too smart in how they handled this, but fun all the same.

It’s good to see the cops looking pretty good here though. They connect the dots between the crimes pretty quickly and then set their plans into motion. Once they nab the suspects it is all over for them. At first you may wonder what is taking them so long, but it’s all just because they are setting their pieces in motion. Getting all of the pieces into play so to speak. It would have been fun to have seen the Jury sentencing, but I suppose the ending gives you a clear enough idea of how it’s going to go down anyway.

The pacing is pretty good. The only plot which probably drags on more than a little bit is Florence’s section. She goes through a great number of shops looking for Julien and after a while it is really just more of the same. You get the point of her search and we know that she stayed up all night so I think a few places could have been cut. The random drunk guy and his friend didn’t seem to serve much of a purpose, but maybe they were just there are red herrings or as world building. Either way, putting more screen time in the elevator plot could have been nice although I’m sure the film didn’t want to make that one feel stale. It’s a tough balancing act.

Overall, This is an interesting film. The ending is very satisfying and probably the best part. The atmosphere is pretty good, but you can’t help but feel bad for the last two victims. It’s hard to be too sympathetic to the first guy since it’s at the very beginning and he was fairly shady anyway, but the other two characters were too hype to be bumped off the way that they were. The romance is pretty bad, but that’s how it is for all rebounds and it goes without saying why Louis’plot was iffy. I’d recommend checking this film out as a retro classic. There are quite a few plot lines going through the movie and it’s nice to see how they all connect.

Overall 5/10

Armageddon Review

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It’s time for another Michael Bay film. This one is a disaster film so you can bet that there are a lot of opportunities for explosions. Like most action blockbusters that are over 2 hours, the film starts to fade by the end despite a reasonable start. Still, that’s not the area to blame in this case. It’s the characters and the writing that really keep the film down. It’s not like you’d expect too much ever since the Transformers series went public and people found out about the writing quality but you still always hope for the best when starting the film. Ah well, at least the explosions will keep you guessing.

The film starts off in NYC as a guy is trying to walk his dog while insulting everybody. The Dog attacks a guy’s Godzilla collection and starts to rough the Kaiju up. This leads to a confrontation between the man and the owner of the dog, but the man is blown up by a meteor. Not gonna lie, that scene was pretty hype since it’s just not something you’d expect in a film that isn’t about aliens and super powers. We learn that these shards are hitting various places on the planet because a big meteor is coming that will destroy the world. The government is forced to call in a team of drillers so they can teach them how to be astronauts and send them to the meteor where they will drill inside of it, drop the nuclear bombs, and get out of there. This can’t go wrong!

I remember reading way back in the day about how one of the main actors asked Michael Bay if it would be simpler to just teach the Astronauts how to drill than the other way around. The response he got was a very direct No. Still, I have to agree with the sentiment since it doesn’t seem like the drilling is all that hard. I mean…it’s just drilling right? Not to trivialize it or anything, but they had 2 weeks to prep anyway. Instead the drillers use that 2 weeks to mess around and go to clubs. Not the most productive way to go about things and I can see why the army lost their patience with them. The fate of the world is at stake and they still can’t get serious.

We actually get a Suicide Squad esque montage where we meet all of the characters. Naturally the very first member we see is trying to evade the cops and does a pretty good job of it. They have 2 copters after him and a dozen cars, but he’s still escaping. Another one is on his horse…riding away from th cops. Another one’s in a shady bar and you get the idea. These are the best of the best, but they’re all criminals so can they really be trusted with matters of National Security? They’re not doing this out of the goodness of their hearts either as they want to stop paying taxes and be able to visit the White House as part of their terms. I’m assuming they won’t get these rewards or at least hopefully not. Honestly, I’d at least want a big chunk of money as payment for saving the world though. That seems pretty fair if you ask me.

The first bit of the movie is actually really solid. We get to see inside of the government base as they all talk a good game and posture quite a bit. The dialogue is witty but not over the top and exaggerated. The characters are tough and rough without being annoying. These guys are professionals and act the part. We also get some nice destruction scenes in New York as we see people falling to their doom when buildings break and it may have even looked more impressive here than in Batman V Superman which is saying something. The film really only breaks down the instant we meet the main characters. That’s when you know that trouble is on the horizon.

We go to a drilling boat where Harry, the lead driller is playing golf. His team has been polluting the ocean for years under the cover of corporate business and he is casually hitting protesters on the head with his golf balls. Then he realizes that his subordinate AJ isn’t around and unfortunately he has been fooling around with Harry’s daughter. This is a very sad way to introduce these two characters, but it’s unfortunately not unexpected. AJ quickly runs out of there while Harry grabs his shotgun and tries to shoot him. It’s a very surreal scene as Harry runs around the ship shooting holes everywhere and sabotaging millions of dollars in the process. All that and he only gets a grazing shot on AJ’s leg. Naturally there are quite a bit of tensions between them now but they’ll have to team up if they want to save the world. AJ is clearly not going to stop going after Harry’s daughter so now Harry will have to either accept it or cut AJ’s air supply once they hit space. He’ll have some pondering to do.

Michael Bay films always suffer from 3 major problems. A nonsensical plot filled with many holes and characters making bad choices, terrible writing where every character has a potty mouth, and going for a lot of fanservice scenes that do nothing to add to the plot and are just there to doom the movie. While we mostly avoid the second option the others are still around for the duration of the movie. We didn’t need to have another scene that takes place in a shady strip bar where the characters prove that they are using their money in the worst way possible. One guy borrows millions of dollars just so that he can stay there for a full day before likely going off to die and that way he won’t have to repay the money. He also goes crazy in space and tries to murder everyone, but the characters wave that to the side and don’t mention it to the people on Earth. Now this crazy attempted murdered will be on the loose until he cracks again. That’s not cool.

The plot between Harry and his daughter Grace also isn’t handled well at all. You can definitely see why he’s upset since she’s been hiding her relationship with AJ for 5 months. I don’t know how though since they have so many public displays of affection that Harry must be really dense. Even when it’s mission time and AJ has to go we have to waste 5 minutes as he goes through an entire song in slow motion with large breaks between the lyrics. If you want a good example of a bad romance, this is it. It’s absolutely terrible and considering that the whole team has no sense of morality I’d want Grace off the ship if I was Harry as well. Every time one of the team comments about Grace’s looks you want Harry to grab the shotgun again.

Naturally this doesn’t make me like AJ any better as well. He’s willing to sacrifice the mission just to show off and never gets me to change my opinion of him. At least Harry was usually a good character and he’s the only member of the team that was actually decent. He makes the tough calls when necessary and is also the only one who seems to want to save the world. He has no demands upon doing it, he’ll just save the world to save his family. It’s a shame that the whole crew couldn’t be like Harry.

As for the plot getting a little iffy, why on Earth would the government try to blow up the bombs early when the characters still had time? They know that blowing up the bombs at that point would do nothing to stop the meteor from heading their way so it’s a waste of time. It would also blow up the only people who even gave them a chance at saving the world. It was only added into the movie to be used as pure drama and that’s why you should never do something purely for the rule of cool. You have to keep the plot in mind at all times. The film also seemed to want to stretch itself out for no reason like when the heroes stop at a convenient Russian rest station in space. Okay…then the place starts to blow up so they head back to the ship. This entire scene was completely filler and adds nothing to the movie. It’s just there for more explosions I guess, but it’s a rather long detour from the main plot.

The scenes in space also just aren’t as fun as the ones on Earth. Everyone starts to blend together since they’re wearing the costumes and all of the scenes start to look the same. It’s just more and more space with nothing really happening. They finally get the drill going and leave, but the final act is a little on the slow side. The first act wasn’t good since the main characters were so bad, but at least it was fun. You can’t really say that about the end. The humor is pretty hit and miss as you’d expect. Some jokes are really good and others are quite forced. Attempts were made though so I’ll at least give it credit there.

Overall, Armageddon is one of those films with a great concept and a poor execution. The film shows glimpses of greatness such as all of the scenes without the main character. The film is solid up until the first scene where AJ appears, gets good again from the point where Harry leaves for the base and gets debriefed. It sinks again when we get the montage of the other characters and just doesn’t rise up from there. It’s a fun film and the pacing is good for half of it, but there are simply too many negatives to recommend this film. I’ll give it some kudos for keeping the dog alive in the first scene though. I was ready to hit the panic button but the film kept its class there. If you want a lot of explosions and really annoying characters then this is the perfect film fr you. If you want a hype action film with better characters then I would recommend Batman V Superman instead. That one will be right up your alley.

Overall 5/10

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets Review

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Time to check out a recent Sci-Fi film by the name of Valerian. I remember seeing the trailer a few times but being skeptical as to whether it’d be good or not. It looked like the kind of movie that would rely on weird environments and good visuals over the story or good characters. I wasn’t really wrong on some of that and the characters are pretty bad, but the film is reasonable. At the very least the film is pretty fast paced.

The film starts off with our two main characters, Valerian and Loreline. They are tasked with collecting a money hedgehog and do so after beating up everyone involved with the transaction. During a universal peace conference they are attacked by a group of blue beings who were thought to be long extinct. The heroes head off to stop them but they may be in for a political war that is above their pay grade.

Valerian is unfortunately a pretty bad main character. He’s a serious flirt who even has a playlist of everyone he has “conquered.” That’s as bad as it sounds. His next target is Loreline and he is slowly breaking through her defenses. Even aside from his morally disappointing personality, he isn’t even that strong. He is portrayed as an elite agent who never fails and that’s why he is supremely confident. Yet, in his first mission in the film he has to be rescued by Loreline because he made a bunch of rookie mistakes and got wrecked. It’s something that happens a little too often in live action productions where the hype characters simply can’t live up to their reputation. He just never becomes a good character which is unfortunate.

Loreline is the main heroine and I can’t say that she is any better. She is also supposed to be a hype character as well as the “tough” one in the group. This is quickly negated as she loses to Valerian in wrestling during the opening minute. She gets her ”burns” in as she mocks him and his playlist but knowing about it just makes her inevitable pairing with Valerian even worse. She also spends the entire film glaring which is certainly trying a little too hard to be tough.

It’s the side characters who are a little better as is sometimes the case. The main villain is a political General from the army who covered up a bunch of murders. He keeps his confident persona even when being attacked and threatened. He makes a good speech at the end and is always many steps ahead of the other characters. He was playing chess while they were playing checkers. One weird moment was when he was kidnapped though. The whole time I figured it was part of his plan, but it seems unlikely by the end. I guess he just wasn’t ready for the aliens to make their move.

Naturally the film has to force in a very long strip show scene which introduces a shape shifting character. Not only is this the worst way to introduce a character but this is a sci-fi trope that needs to die. It seems like a bunch of alien based films love to show off the costumes or cgi by including a scene like this or set pieces where everyone forgets to dress out well. It’s something that should never happen as if you feel a need to show off your animation then it probably wasn’t very good to begin with. The character is all right I guess but her role is rather small and needlessly tragic. I didn’t really see a point to her dying. It doesn’t work for shock value since we didn’t know her and from a narrative perspective it had no impact on any of the characters.

This film apparently had a really big budget and I think it was misplaced. Through my followings with RWBY, I’ve gotten to see a lot about how a budget is spent in terms of animation and how it is often not worth it. You can spend a significant chunk on a cgi landscape with a lot of NPCs in the background. Those guys don’t matter so why spend budget on them? I’d say that a budget should be spent primarily on fight scenes, backgrounds are secondary. This film had some nice backgrounds, but a good chunk of it was in a very ancient desert planet and then on a beach with no technology. So I’m assuming that the bulk of the budget was spent on Valerian running through various worlds in the quick 5 minute scene. Using up a huge budget on a minor scene is just not worth it and using practical effects would possibly have cut the budget in half then. The sci-do guns look good and the fight scene where Valerian takes on a bunch of ogres was good. Use the budget for that instead and have a super speed battle where he is zipping around then at lightning speed and dodging energy blasts. Now that would be hype!
I have to question how useful the cannon tech from the first scene was as well. Sure, the villains were pretty scared of Valerian and he was invisible so they had a hard time hitting him but he was still there and would have been destroyed if he couldn’t jack out. An impressive piece of tech to be sure and virtual reality has certainly peaked in this universe but the heroes may want to start thinking of better security options.

The robots made for pretty good minions for the main villain. They would have been perfect if they had also been bulletproof. As it stands, Valerian was able to dish out the pain against these guys but they got a lot of the aliens in the process. The aliens really shouldn’t have just walked outside while defenseless in front of the enemy. They were practically asking to be shot and I get how they’re pacifists and all, but at least do the peace thing behind the magical barrier. Alls well that ends well for the survivors though so at least the race isn’t extinct.

As mentioned earlier, Valerian’s best strength is in the film’s quick pacing. It’s over 2 hours, but the movie never drags on and you’ll stay entertained the whole time. It may make its share of mistakes and so I wouldn’t call it a good movie, but at least it’s a fun one the way that Resident Evil is enjoyable. The two are still in completely different leagues when it comes to quality as well. I think there could be some potential for a sequel here since there’s a lot you can do in space, but I want them to head to a high tech world that can take advantage of the future setting. Also, give the main actor/actress some more sleep before filming next time. They look dead tired in every scene of the film to the point where I’m sure they must have gone through many takes for each scene.

Overall, Valerian is one of those movies that just tries to throw a lot of things at the screen and hopes they will stick. Unfortunately it is very 50/50 in this regard. The film needed more action scenes and choosing a desert planet and then a beach planet when the film is supposed to be futuristic was a mistake. Get some better characters and then we can really begin thinking of a sequel. Until then, this film will need to stay under the radar as we open the way for other sci-fi films. If you just want a film where you get a future setting then I suppose this is a film worth checking out. There weren’t too many films that take place in the future this year. If you want a better film about the future, check out the DBZ Trunks movie.

Overall 5/10

Freaky Friday Review

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Freaky Friday has always had a very solid premise. What if you could literally live a day in someone else’s shoes? You can use such a plot to show that things often appear to be easier than they really are. In real life this can most certainly be the case. Some who look like they’re having a great time may actually be struggling with something and others may actually just be having as much fun as they appear to be. There are quite a few variations of this. Gender Swap, self explanatory, Age Swap, switch with someone older or younger, Time Swap, switch with someone from the future or the past, and the only bad one, Animal Swap, self explanatory. Nobody wants to see a human act like an animal.

The film starts by showing us the strained relationship between Annabel and Ellen. Ellen is going through that rebellious phase where she is being tough to deal with for no particular reason at all. She is excelling at sports but her grades are slipping fast and her eating habits are terrible. Meanwhile Annabel is doing her best to run the place despite that but it’s been a long day and she has numerous chores not to mention that her husband Bill is always getting into trouble and she has to bail him out. Annabel and Ellen wish they could swap places and so begins the craziest day of their lives.

I definitely think this genre always has a bunch of potential. Honestly I’d say the Your Name version has more potential since their lives are very different so they have to try and adapt. Not to mention that they are unaware of who the other person is so it’s not like they can rely on memory. With the mother and daughter combination, their lives aren’t very far apart. In theory they have probably seen each other’s lifestyles many times. There’s still a lot you can do here, but that’s why the gender swap typically has more potential than the age swap, but you could argue that the main variable is having the characters not know who they are swapping with. The film gets around some of that by having the main character be rebellious. In theory she makes sure not to tell Ellen anything so at the very least her school life will be a surprise.

So who has the edge here? Well, I’d say that the Mom should be able to assimilate a lot better into the lifestyle. The school problems should be a breeze. Naturally I can see how the sports and water skiing would be a problem but for the most part she will do just fine. On the other hand, Annabel is doomed right from the start because she’s likely never cleaned in her life and by shutting herself off from everyone she doesn’t even have any basic intel on what a normal day is like. Basically, Annabel put herself in this bad predicament.

At first I was a little confused with the Dad. He comes off as a big of a condescending jerk in the beginning but these moments come as flashes. I thought the film was trying to make him a nice guy and the execution was off or the film didn’t age well. However it turns out the film was playing him up as an antagonist from the start so I’ll give the film some props here. It was handled very subtly to the point where the film could have find either way. Taking him down the villain path definitely makes sense because he is pretty extreme by the end. He forces his daughter to go water skiing for the big party by tricking her into it. He has a secretary who also gets a little tricky but Ellen put a stop to that. If anything the Dad gets off rather light by the end. Nothing actually happens to him and there is no real indication that he has changed as a person. At least both heroines are aware of his personality a little more now so maybe they will change him.

One of the most intense scenes in the film was definitely the soccer game. These kids apparently play really dirty and actually throw elbows to the face and blatantly trip Ellen. I could have sworn there was a punch to the face as well but I cannot confirm that. Needless to say this was Ellen’s worst scene. She just stands around and lets them beat her up for a while. When she finally gets up and decides to play, she scores for the wrong team. That’s something I’ve never quite gotten since you’d think that you would notice everyone telling you to stop. Why would you still go through with it? That’s one of the few scenes where you can’t really sympathize with Ellen. She blew her whole team’s chance at winning the championship and even though it’s played for laughs I’d say that this is the saddest scene in the movie.

The climax is a very long car chase which was certainly interesting. It does overstay its welcome after a while though and I have to question just how well Annabel was driving. Don’t get me wrong, I always thought driving was a whole lot easier than people always make it out to be but she made a big deal about not being able to drive beforehand. Then she is able to out drive the cops with ease in the next scene. The cops were good with snap judgement though like when their car split in two they made sure not to be close to the center and quickly got out to make sure their respective partner was okay. That’s what I expect from the trained professionals.

One subplot that certainly isn’t very good is the next door neighbor. Annabel likes him so she decides to put in a good word for herself after transforming but things get a little iffy here. Romance is one thing you need to completely avoid in age swapping films for obvious reasons. Ellen’s reputation has been absolutely tarnished here. The neighbor also didn’t have a real reason to be in the film. It’s not like he added anything so taking him away wouldn’t affect the story. If you’re going to add a character just for the fun of it, they have to be good. The house maid is a nice example of this as she shows up just to mock Ellen a lot and never steps outside of her comfort zone. The maid knows what she is being paid to do and won’t do anything extra. She just wants to go get a drink with the money she earns.
Freaky Friday is a decent comedy film but Sue holds it back quite a bit. She’s not even remotely likable and it’s always sad to see someone’s life being sabotaged when they can’t even do anything about it. Talk about tragic right? Even Annabel’s friends seem rather mean with how they pranked her after getting the correct answers. Sure, Ellen lost all of her common sense in the scene and for most of the first half as well but maybe transforming just does that to you. It could be a side effect.

Overall, Freaky Friday is fun and it doesn’t drag on. The pacing is solid and the concept is sound. It may drop the ball at times by going for too many plots and not having the two characters meet while in different bodies though. It’s not a perfect example of the genre and is lacking in replay value as there’s not much reason to watch it again. That being said, I’d likely recommend it if you like the genre. Just be prepared to be annoyed by Annabel, who doesn’t have any good moments in the entire film. There’s never a chance to feel bad for her.

Overall 5/10

The Colossus of New York Review

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It’s time for another retro film that tried to be like Frankenstein. This version is a lot more powerful though and the film is also quite a bit better. That being said, the film sabotages itself when it was so close to grabbing an easy 7. It’s a reasonably fun film though and you’ll definitely want to stick around for the ending as it suddenly feels like a comic book title. Beware the lasers, for they hunger!

Jeremy was a very promising young genius who was going to help end world hunger. Unfortunately, he saw a ball roll in the middle of an airport and decided to run after it. A truck ran over him instead and he died instantly. His father, William didn’t like this though as he always felt that Jeremy was destined to save the world. As such, he grabbed the brain and built a robot body so that Jeremy could live again. Jeremy’s brother Henry wasn’t thrilled about this since he had been hoping to take Jeremy’s wife Mala for himself while Jeremy was dead. Henry decides to pursue this plan anyway so now Jeremy has to take things into his own hands. He doesn’t want his family to know that he is alive because he feels like his robot body doesn’t look good, but that won’t stop him from doing what needs to be done.

In case you couldn’t guess, the plot that I’m referring to which hurt the film quite a bit was the Henry trying to rebound with Mala part. It had no real place in the film. While we can guess that Henry is a bad character from the onset, it also makes Mala look really bad that she was going along with it. She didn’t have a lot of objections to this by the end as Henry won her over quite easily. She sure got over Jeremy right away and that’s kind of sad. He had seemed like a very nice and earnest guy. Sure he’s dead, but getting together with his brother seems kind of mean spirited don’t you think? Henry was rather petty and jealous the whole time. I can’t say I expected much from him, but I expected more from Mala.

At least Charles was a good character though. He’s Jeremy’s son and still very young so he doesn’t fully get what’s happening. This works well for Jeremy since he is able to play with Charles when nobody is watching. He also lets Charles know about the kill switch on his chest in case Jeremy ever loses his mind. This leads Charles to make the tough call at the end of the film. It was clearly not the right one, but as he is a kid, it’s not quite as terrible as when a grown person does it. Charles didn’t fully understand what he was doing after all.

Discussing Jeremy is a little complicated since it’s hard to say when exactly he lost control of himself. Having a robot body certainly came with side effects and one was that he would lose his mind. It’s easy to see why as well since connecting the brain came with a lot of trial and error and he was treated like a machine for a while. Still, he seemed like a nice guy pre transformation and probably would have been a good lead. As the main villain he also does a good job. The robot design is pretty good and he even comes equipped with death lasers that can disintegrate a target on contact. Now that is efficient!

William may have meant well initially, but he certainly didn’t think much about Jeremy’s point of view when bringing him back to life. He was confident that Jeremy wouldn’t care about missing out on the human angle since he could now work in peace, but evidently he wasn’t as work focused as Will thought. William also didn’t really respect Jeremy’s wish to rest in piece and ultimately his selfishness was enough for me to consider him as the villain. He really only thought of himself and that’s never a good track to take. Once Jeremy learned how to mind control people, it was all over. William only has himself to blame though as he could have stopped Jeremy, but his reactions were very slow and he couldn’t hit the off switch in time. Letting Jeremy break the switch was a fatal move.

The writing’s pretty good for this film. It’s always interesting to hear the characters subtly mock each other and use guilt trip tactics. They were very effective in this film. The debate about the soul was also interesting enough. My stance is that the soul leaves the body immediately and then the body/mind are useless while William tries to claim that it can still act without a soul. The film portrays him as being correct to an extent as Jeremy still exists, he just loses his emotions eventually.

I have to give the film a good amount of credit for actually having a climax. Not just a climax either, but a pretty satisfying one as there is a lot of action. It is a little grim though as Jeremy breaks into the United Nations building and destroys a ton of people with his death ray. Many international leaders and police officers lose their lives before Charles finally takes him down for the count. Jeremy may have been stopped, but the damage is most certainly already done. His plan was pretty good as well since it’s not as if he can be stopped very easily. A few missiles would have put him in his place eventually though.

Overall, The Colossus of New York was a pretty interesting film. Obviously, the movie taking place in New York was a pretty nice way to start things off. The robot design was cool and the climax was exciting. As I mentioned, the part that crippled the film was Henry’s plot, which was just pretty sad. The scenes where the characters are building Jeremy back together can drag on a bit as well. Jeremy also takes a little too long to realize that Henry may not be the nice guy that he had always assumed him to be. The film takes off a little smoother once Jeremy breaks free of the controls and totally turns evil. The first half is still enjoyable enough though. This film will just end up being forgotten in the long sea of other monster films and I can’t say that I mind this occurrence all that much.

Overall 5/10