Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

Write Before Christmas Review

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It’s time for a rare ensemble cast Hallmark film. This one has a whole lot going on with the different plots which naturally means there will be some plots that are stronger than others. I do think it ends up being weaker than the average Hallmark title but is naturally still a really good film filled with solid writing and good character work as you would expect.

The movie’s main character is Jessica who decides to write some cards to different people who have helped her in life. This includes a big time singer, a lady who taught her music, her aunt, and her brother. These letters end up helping everyone out and they all begin moving forward with their own character arcs. Meanwhile Jessica was going to be in for a rough Christmas with her getting dumped by the boyfriend but now she has met a new guy who may end up being her prince charming.

So lets get the obvious issue out of the way, the romance here is a pure rebound. Jessica has only just broken up with this guy for about a day or so before she is already getting with the next one. The relationship falling apart came as a shock to her so she shouldn’t be completely over it just yet. There was clearly a little hesitation here with how she didn’t immediately say yes to the proposal but it doesn’t really change things. She still shouldn’t be moving on this quickly and she barely even knows the guy.

Getting carried away with the Christmas spirit has its limits after all. I did enjoy her as a character though. She is really invested in Christmas and is the type of person who will always be having a lot of fun. Jessica also has a supportive friend at the music shop where she works and it always helps to have someone to vent to. From all the characters in the film, Jessca had the most fleshed out plot which makes sense.

When we get to the inevitable misunderstanding, I would also say that her situation was slightly more understandable. Her guy should have stood his ground and not been taking photos of the girl that was assigned to him as a blind date a while back. Sure he was doing his job but this girl was already shown to be crazy like when she humiliated him in the diner so he needed to cut off contact at that point. Meanwhile he walked in when she was joking with her ex boyfriend about getting the ex discount. Yeah…not the best conversation to be having.

Well things worked out but the romance wasn’t very strong anyway. Both characters could stand to be a little more mature about they handle these things. If something looks sus, you need to just walk over and start asking questions. If your worst fears are realized, well then it’s better to know now rather than finding out later right? Just walking off is the worst possible action you could make because now you will never know one way or the other what was really going on. You can suspect stuff, but won’t have that confirmation.

Meanwhile in the first subplot with the brother, he falls for another army worker over there. He does his best to flirt with her and while the attempts are mainly shaky, it ends up working out. It’s a harmless enough plot but just doesn’t have a whole lot of connection to the main story outside of the letter. Additionally it’s just too fast for much development.

Another plot is Jessica’s aunt meeting the guy who walks a dog next door. She just lost her husband two years ago and he lost his wife 3 years ago so they start flirting and it looks like things are gonna be happening. I don’t have to go into detail on why this is a crazy rebound right? I thought the dog was nice though so it was good to have a wholesome animal having fun here.

Then you have the music guy who was in a slump for a while. Jessica’s letter allows him to regain his confidence and go back to making new songs. He actually doesn’t get a romance plot but I guess there was no room for one. It was nice that he even got to play his next concert nearby where Jessica could hear him. I actually thought he was going to be the one to play matchmaker but that’s not how it went down.

So this was an ambitious one with so much going on. Generally I think the film would have needed to have been longer to have really given all of these plots the screentime that they would have needed. Still, it did well enough with what was going on and the writing was good as always. While the stories may have been rushed, they will still keep your attention.

The film still succeeds at the most important factor for any movie which is that it was fun. Watching this title is enjoyable and you feel the festive vibes. If you can block out the rebound nature for a minute, it’s also just nice to see everybody having a good time. If you ever enter into a relationship, you want it to be filled with fun and whimsy like this. I would like to see Hallmark tackle more non rebound romances as well but for now this will have to do.

Overall, Write Before Christmas has a great title. The pun was particularly inspired and the film’s plot device of the letters being sent around was a good one. I generally prefer solo stories unless there is a big climax where all of the characters meet up though. Something like that would have been really cool here and I think it would have worked even if it may have seemed rushed. The film was already rushed so what’s one more scene right? While I prefer the average Hallmark film, this is still a good movie that I would recommend.

Overall 6/10

The Christmas Card Review

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It’s time for a very classic Hallmark film. This is the kind of film you picture when talking about the channel because it hits all of the classic notes. Now this does include a rebound romance so as always you’re going to want to steer away from that part of it but all the rest is on point. This is the kind of film that will leave you feeling jolly all the way forward.

The movie starts by introducing us to Cody who is serving in the army. His tour has gone mostly well but unfortunately one of his squadmates was murdered in the line of duty. Cody is forced to go on a leave of absence for a while and decides to pay a visit to a lady named Faith who sent him a card. See, there’s a program where you can send cards to people out in the army and Faith always participates. Cody may not know her personally but he wants to thank her for the gesture. Thing is, he didn’t realize how beautiful she was. Cody has fallen in love but the problem is that Faith already has a longterm boyfriend. Can Cody make his move before she gets married?

So this is where things get iffy. Some would say that as long as she doesn’t have a ring yet (Isn’t married) that it’s all fair game and you can still try to steal her away. This is only advice for the desperate though and personally you should leave someone alone if they’re already in a relationship. Even if you are able to win her over, now you know that someone else can do the same thing to you if she is so easily persuaded.

Additionally, it is going to make Faith look bad here. Now as the film goes on her boyfriend looks worse and worse. He’s rather stuffy, drinks a lot, and doesn’t know how to do manual labor. He also ignores her feelings in place of his and values work above all. So yeah he’s not great but they have been in a relationship for a very long time. She didn’t even expect to see him for the holidays since he was so busy. You need to keep this in mind because these were the expectations for their relationship.

Instead he shows up early and notices Cody around so a little rivalry begins here. Naturally as the film goes on Faith begins to waver and eventually joins team Cody. This drama takes up most of the film though as Faith even accepts her boyfriend’s proposal initially and still has an affair with Cody on the side. It’s a really bad look for all parties involved even once the boyfriend surrenders and gets out of there.

What you have to consider here is that for 99% of relationships there will always be someone hotter, smarter, funnier, cuter, etc. If you are always willing to “trade up” from your current partner to someone else, then that is a recipe for disaster. It’s the whole principle of why I’m against rebounds. You have to stick to your pick barring crazy stuff like abuse and such. So Faith shouldn’t have been wavering at all here and it’s why the romance just doesn’t work.

With a romance this bad you may figure that the film is doomed right? Well, that’s not how Hallmark rolls. It delivers a very complete product that can get past the romance. You’ve got great writing after all and a fun atmosphere. It’s the kind of film that reminds you of just how much fun Christmas can be. There is a lot of cheer going on and you get to see some baking and decorating the Christmas tree. It’s a lot of fun and the pacing is always good. Watching this makes you want to go outside and do something fun too.

The true cheat code to life is that you don’t have to wait until Christmas to have a fun time like this. You can make any day really fun if you put your mind to it. As a result this film would hold up whenever you watch it. While Faith’s father Luke was meddling a little too much, you can appreciate his devotion to his daughter. It can be hard to stay silent when you see your kid making a mistake. Especially when you “know” that it’s a mistake.

There was a good amount of banter here and the movie knows how to have a lot of fun with itself. So even if the romance misses, you still have the comedy. Now I think the film could have tried to be even lighter by not having the death at the beginning but I suppose it wanted to start with a somber tone. If the film really wanted to be perfect, it could have dodged the romance entirely and just focused on the good banter the whole time. Now that would have been a good idea, just have them be good friends.

Then the subplot would have been Cody showing Faith’s boyfriend the error of his ways and to cherish Faith now because you never know what the future will bring. Have him tie in the death from the beginning. Low key I think there’s a ton of potential there and then for the longtime Hallmark fans you would still have a solid romance going with the boyfriend becoming a better person.

Overall, The Christmas Letter is a pretty good film. It’s a very focused film that knows where the plot is going and there are no distractions. The atmosphere is nice and cozy the whole time and the pacing is on point. It’s a very easy film to watch and just makes for an enjoyable backdrop. If you have not seen this film yet then you will definitely want to change that. It’s also a reminder that even a quick act like writing a letter can really have a massive impact to someone else.

Overall 7/10

Little Women (1994) Review

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It’s time for another Little Women adaption. It’s not exactly one of my favorite stories but it’s certainly an iconic one. I believe this is the third version that I’ve seen. How much you enjoy it will all come down to how much you enjoy the antics of the main characters. Can you identify with their situation or will you just find it a little dull? Personally I don’t find any of the characters to be super likable so that does really hold things back. The romance doesn’t help.

The 4 sisters are the main characters here. Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy. They live in a rather tough situation with finances not being very good. Their father is always out working and their mother does her best to keep things together. There are only so many ways to entertain themselves in such days but at least they have each other. Well, one day after the usual neighborhood party/dance they meet a rich guy named Theodore. He seems to have taken a liking to Jo but she’s not really in the market for a boyfriend at the moment. Will he win her over or is she going to get away?

So I can’t fault Jo for deciding that she didn’t want to mess around with romance. It’s not for everyone after all and she still wanted to enjoy her usual fun times with the gang. If she were to get a boyfriend then naturally that would end. Well, things get a bit more complicated than that as everyone else continues to move on with their lives. Theodore even decides to rebound with one of Jo’s sisters. Now Jo will have to find a man but who is left?

Ultimately Jo leaves home and by expanding her horizons she meets someone but the romance is pretty fast and not all that developed. It just never worked for me and I also think her sister Amy shouldn’t have gotten together with Theodore. Yeah, he claims that he is over Jo but that’s a bit hard to buy and even then it’s like you were the second choice. That’s how I’ve always felt about the romances in this movie and that hasn’t really changed over time.

This film also takes place in the very olden days and as a result there are all kinds of customs and such that feel dated. The girls can never make the first move, they must be prim and proper at all times, etc. Not to say that it’s all bad but a lot of these things just make them look way too passive as characters. I would have liked more direct action here, maybe in terms of trying to earn money or perhaps jumpstarting the romance on their own.

Jo is the only one who acts rather impulsively in general like selling her hair for money. So she gets more credit there. The writing is good as the old time script holds up but it doesn’t really solve the problem of the main characters not being super interesting. I don’t really know what you would do in order to change that though. Not without changing the story as a whole.

I’ve said this before but I like a good slice of life story, it just needs a touch of comedy. That is what’s missing in this one. The story is all fairly serious which is fine, but where are the scenes that will help me break a smile? There aren’t really any laugh out loud scenes here. Dreary would be the wrong word to describe the film but it just takes itself so seriously.

I guess I’d say the film is like watching a bunch of people who don’t have many hobbies hanging out with each other. It can be fairly wholesome but doesn’t really do much for you. The film also ends up being on the loner side and the pacing can be really slow. A lot of things are all going against the film here and as least one character gets a rather sad ending.

Maybe the next remake can focus a little bit more on Jo’s journey as an author. Focus on the last part of the film with her being abroad and make that a much larger part. You could also use that time to try and develop the romance with the professor but I dare say that might be a waste of time so perhaps you just focus on the writing bits. Or maybe show us what her father was doing at work and add some kind of trial there. Show why the job is so hard. Both of these plots would be immensely more interesting than just staying at the home for longer periods of time.

Overall, Little Women would have benefited from adding a few light scenes with gags and fun jokes. Something to just make the film itself a little more fun and it would also add to the replay value. Throw that all in to the mix and things would improve. Right now this is essentially a film that is lacking a hook. Of course at the end of the day that just means this film wasn’t really for me. I would say to only check it out if you want to see what life would have been like if you had grown up poor in a small town. Otherwise, you’re better off with one of the old sit coms instead.

Overall 4/10

A Very Brady Christmas Review

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It’s time for the return of the Brady Bunch. I saw the show a lot when I was growing up and it was pretty fun. I wouldn’t say it could compete with the older old time shows like Twilight Zone or the Odd Couple but it was good wholesome fun. The film brings them all back to give you more of the same but I have to say that a lot of the characters really don’t look good. As a result you will have a hard time rooting for some of them in their sub plots.

The film starts with Mr and Mrs Brady enjoying their retired life. At this point the house belongs to just the two of them as their families have fully grown up. It’s peaceful this way and they each plan a big Christmas trip but ultimately decide to invite all the kids over for one last adventure. The kids get ready to arrive but what the parents don’t know is that they are all dealing with some issues. Looks like the parents are going to have to play the role of the guardian one last time here.

Like I said, the problem here is that a lot of the kids don’t look particularly good. Lets look through their problems for a minute here. The first guy is feeling embarrassed because his girlfriend makes more money than him and is actually his boss at the job. This is one of those issues that I will never be able to sympathize with. If your girlfriend makes more money than you, that’s great. You two can put that in a nice 401K and in the meantime can live a much more luxurious life than before. It takes a real sensitive ego to be upset about that. So as a result he decided not to propose to er for a very long time until she was finally forced to consider doing it herself. Definitely the most petty out of all the issues.

The next kid’s problem is that her husband got fired right before the holidays. So he’s still feeling rather sore about that and has a hard time containing this. He grumbles about the situation rather loudly even when he’s already at the Christmas party with his wife and daughter. It’s the most serious problem since losing your job is a big deal but I just wish he would have taken it a little better. Maybe not make such a big scene and all that. Ultimately his ego is a problem like the first kid’s and so Mr. Brady has to effectively trick him into getting a new job. She probably could have chosen a guy with a little more courage.

I’ll say now that Mr and Mrs. Brady were definitely the standout characters here since they were having to clean up all these messes while still having a fun party. It may make them reconsider doing this next year though. Their housekeeper also had some drama of her own as her boyfriend left her for a younger woman. This subplot was handled rather poorly as she quickly accepts him upon his return. He likely got dumped by the younger girl he was after, why would you just let him return so easily? Definitely a bad look.

Back to the kids, the one’s problem was that he dropped out of school a while back to become a race car driver. This was a super reckless move and so he doesn’t want to tell his parents until he is already winning races. Well, I think it’s a bad decision but it’s his life and he’s not grumbling about it so I much preferred him to the other two. This guy understood the consequences of his actions.

The next kid’s problem is that she was in the middle of a failing marriage. They are quickly falling apart because she feels like she does a lot of things without any appreciation and he is rather oblivious. The fact that it got this far was pretty rough. Yes, the party has them squash their differences but I don’t think it can ever be the same after their relationship was strained that hard. The husband in particular looked bad here since he left things get to this point and somehow didn’t notice all the extra work he was causing her. That’s a bit baffling.

Then we have one kid where his wife chose to visit her family instead of his for Christmas so that takes some of the fun out of it. What fun can you really have at a party without your wife? Technically it might be the smallest problem after all but you can still feel a little bad for him. In a way at least they had the healthiest dynamic here which is nice to see.

The final kid’s problem is more that she is still treated as the youngest. She is seated with the kids at the party instead of the grownups and doesn’t know how to say no. She shows up at the party when she already had plans with the other teens at the dorm. Meeting with your family is probably a better idea anyway but it would be nice to have presented this as her actively making a decision as opposed to just not knowing what to do.

You can see the problem here which is that there are so many problems that a lot of the kids just don’t look good by the end of this. There’s quite a lot of drama and not enough laughs to really take it over the edge. It’s a decent gathering and the build up to the reunion is fun but I do think it could have been more explosive. It’s still a good film but one without much replay value. I actually think it might have been better without all the kids. Make it just about Mr. and Mrs. Brady as they prepare their Christmas gifts and crazy shenanigans ensue. That is a winning formula.

Overall, A Very Brady Christmas will deliver an extra punch for folks who grew up watching the original show. It’ll definitely end up being nostalgic but that’s mostly what the film has going for it. Remove the Brady names and it’s a film about a lot of problem solving that doesn’t get quite as emotional as it could have been. I will say that the climax at least did its best to increase the stakes right at the end. We got to see a true hero in action and that is the kind of explosive plot that I’m talking about. If we got that for more of the movie then this would be an even higher one. Still, I would recommend it to anyone looking for a Christmas title to set up the season.

Overall 6/10

The Gathering Review

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It’s time for a film about a man who has to come to terms with his own mortality. It makes for a fun premise, after all what would you do if you knew you only had a short amount of time to live? This should make you really ponder what you believe happens after death. For a Christian, this may be rather exciting news as you know you’ll be going to Heaven and this is just speeding up the journey. If you think you’re going to hell or some kind of a void, well then this is going to be a bit stressful. So to me that means the film isn’t going to feel as somber as it might to other viewers but the movie is still good overall.

The movie starts with the doctor telling Adam that he has up to 3 months left to live. Adam is fairly well off but it has come at a great expense. He no longer stays in contact with any of his family members. In fact, he’s on rather bad terms with just about all of them. So this is his chance to reconcile with them before the end but it will be difficult to find them all and travel to them since they are scattered across the planet. His wife Kate finds out about the plan and suggests they host a Christmas party themselves and will invite all of the kids. It’s a long shot, but maybe they will all come home.

One of the big choices in the film that Adam has to make is if he will tell the kids about his impending demise or not. He decides not to because he feels like then he won’t be able to authentically connect with them all since that would almost be like guilt tripping. You can probably debate that one quite a bit, but ultimately I do think he was probably right there. I don’t think he needs to mention that he will die as they’ll find out before long and this way they will all get to have an enjoyable Christmas with no extra worries.

A good chunk of the film is about setting up all of the characters. We see that most of the characters have really gotten their own lives and it’s not so easy to attend a party right away. Some of the characters hold grudges while others don’t. It is fun to see all of the characters finally meet up later on and they get to act like a real family, even if it was only a brief adventure.

That said, the film does take itself so extremely serious that I don’t think it made the most of this situation. I would have appreciated some more witty banter or a little injection of humor. If anything that would have helped make the family feel much more like a close knit unit instead of a bunch of strangers who came together for the holidays. In a sense the film tries a bit too hard to go for the ultra realism. I could picture this being an actual family gathering as everyone exchanges pleasantries but only in a very formal family. They needed to loosen up a bit.

I thought the film did a good job of sticking the landing though. We didn’t have the big scene where he tells everyone and they all cry and have very emotional moments with each other. Adam stuck to his plan even if it was found out by some of them and saw them all off with a smile. He can’t undo all the decisions he made in the last 20 years but he did what he could to end off on a high note. At the end of the day that’s all you really can do.

It’s why it is important to always live your best life at all times even when nobody is watching or when you think you have a lot of time left. You never know when it’s all going to end and so that is a good message on the film’s part. I did think the writing was good and the pacing wasn’t bad. This film just doesn’t have a ton of replay value though because of how dry it is. I wouldn’t be watching this one a second time but I could recommend it to someone who wants a very down to Earth film.

The different trials that go on here revolve around pride over a job, political differences with someone avoiding the draft, etc. None of them are Earth shattering and it adds to the grounded atmosphere. There are also quite a lot of characters here so the film would have been in trouble if it was trying to solve all of the issues in a single film. Instead it solves the parts that can be mended emotionally and for the rest you trust that the characters are on the right path now. It also helps that each character already has their own life going on so it’s not like anyone is in pure desperation mode. They’ve all become rather independent over the years which is at least a silver lining for them.

Overall, The Gathering is a film that lives up to the title. The whole thing is about the gathering and getting all of the characters to meet up. They put aside their petty differences and get along in time for Christmas. It was good to see the characters reconciling. It doesn’t mean that they’re all going to become best friends all of a sudden but life’s too large for small differences and pride to get in the way. So it was nice that the characters were able to succeed there.

Overall 6/10

Journey Back To Christmas Review

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It’s time for a classic Hallmark Christmas movie! They always tend to do good work with these titles and I’m happy to say that this one is no exception. It even involves time travel which is absolutely a massive W. I always like to see that in any film since it adds some interesting concepts. Now the romance may not have been particularly strong in this one but the rest of the adventure is still solid overall.

The movie starts by introducing us to Hanna who has had a rough time of things since her husband was sent off to the war and is presumed to have been killed in action. Hanna has watched everyone go to these wars and feels like she has not really been able to contribute as much. She does get to save a dog who got lost in the cold though and does her best to help keep a kid stay cheerful even when he’s in a rough condition. Well, a time travelling comet shows up and brings her decades in the future to 2016. Now Hanna sees that her actions did lead the way to a whole lot of good changes. Is she stranded in the future?

Hanna’s a fun lead but I do have to say that she was a little slow on the uptake when it came to realizing that she had time traveled. Usually you get one or two freebies from me but after that you need to lock in. She was still running through stores and wondering where her house was after there should have been enough time to see that things were different. Even if she figured time travel was impossible, then she needs to consider that this is some kind of government experiment or aliens are around.

In any of those events, it would be in her best interest to act normally and play her moves carefully. Ah well, at least she was still a nice person and did her best to help the others with their own issues. She brought a good amount of cheer to the neighborhood and showed everyone what an old fashioned Christmas was like. We didn’t get the usual amount of Hallmark baking moments in this Christmas movie but we did get some caroling.

The main guy here is Jake and he’s not the most professional guy here. I did like the fact that he didn’t want to arrest Hanna straightaway the way the rest of the police wanted him to. He pointed out that she wasn’t dangerous and they could figure this out. Nothing wrong with that but where he faltered is when he actually fell for Hanna. You really can’t be getting involved with the suspects and it also meant that there was no way to root for him to get along with Sarah afterwards. It would make the whole thing a true rebound.

Jake tried to tell everyone that he was just being polite and that’s how the film should have played it out. Instead you have the jealous childhood friend doing her best to get Hanna out of the picture and it ends up making her look really petty which make the ship even harder to root for. That’s why the only good romance here was between Hanna and her husband since that one had a lot of development and you wanted the happy ending. The other plot didn’t really need to be included to be honest.

As always with the Hallmark films, this one has good pacing and quality writing. It’s why you can overlook a lot of things because you’re just having a lot of fun here. Even the main antagonist is fun as she keeps trying to encourage the cops to take Hanna away. She’s just being petty for no real good reason and acts like a real life grinch. Her husband tries to mind his business while he enjoys his dinner but it’s clear that she takes the flavor out of it. Some of these supporting characters don’t have much to do like the kid who finally learns to put the phone down but it’s to make the town feel very large so it’s probably worth it.

It’s also fortunate for Hanna that she wasn’t warped 100 years into the future. There are still a few people from her era who are still alive like Tobias who helps to add a lot of credibility to her claim. He was the kid that she helped from a while back so it’s also another way for her to see what a difference she made in so many lives. Without him, I like to think that the perfume would have still helped a lot because it was a discontinued model but I think it still wouldn’t have been quite as convincing.

So in the end my only negative would essentially be that Hanna was a bit too oblivious to all the context around her. It’s a small issue though and one you can look over. I wouldn’t have minded a proper confrontation with the one lady who was trying to stir up trouble as well but it would only work if you gave Hanna a different personality. She just wasn’t the combative type here. Maybe if you scrapped the backup romance plot, that would have left more time for a full character arc like that.

Overall, This won’t go down as one of the all time Hallmark titles but I had a good bit of fun with it. They could have done more with the time travel but the film was fairly short and I suppose they didn’t want to complicate things too much. If you like the formula then you should check this one out. It’s a reminder that every action has consequences even if you don’t get to see them in your lifetime. Hanna did a lot of good even if she would have never know it if not for the time travel. The ending itself is also very wholesome when she goes back to the past so I can appreciate that. A perfect film for Christmas season.

Overall 7/10

Red One Review

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It’s time for one of those Christmas titles that just gets you hyped right out of the gate. The stakes have never been higher with Christmas itself being on the line here. If you’re looking for a modern action blockbuster with tons of humor running around, then you have come to the right place. This is a very light hearted film with quick pacing so right away you will be able to tell if you are going to be a big fan of it or not. This film isn’t trying to hide what it’s all about. What you see is what you get.

The movie starts by introducing us to Callum who is the right hand man of Santa. He leads the guard detail at every event and makes sure that nobody gets to Santa. He has been doing this successfully for hundreds of years without any hiccups. Well, one day Santa is kidnapped and he will have to rely on the help of Jack, the world’s best underground hacker. This guy knows how to stay off the grid in most cases but gets picked up by the heroes and is essentially blackmailed into helping. It was Jack’s info that allowed the villains to breach the North Pole and so he has to make amends. He has no real training in the field though so he and Callum will have to put their differences aside in order to claim victory here.

Right off the gate you have the dynamic that this film will be going with. It’s the classic Buddy cop duo where both characters will be taking shots and digs at each other continuously while gradually learning how to respect each other. It may not exactly be a new dynamic but I have to say that it still works. Both characters are a lot of fun and it’s nice to see what they can do against the big villains.

Gryla is one of the big villains here and she is able to possess people as well as hear any conversation involving her name from anywhere across the planet. These may not be the most powerful abilities to have in an offensive way but at the same time she is widely feared. You can kind of understand why she wants to take all of the naughty people down because it becomes apparent that society has fallen under tough times. That said, she wants to also get anybody who has ever been naughty which is where she goes into full on psycho mode.

Her whole plan also revolved around the North Pole being ridiculously easy to infiltrate. If Callum had been there, then she likely would have failed right at the onset so I can’t say that she planned things out well at all. Once the characters get to where she is, things go south pretty quickly for her. There are some things she couldn’t have counted on like a certain other character getting involved but either way she needed a way to execute her plan quicker.

One subplot that didn’t add much to the equation was Jack’s family drama. We already know that he was a jerk, the deadbeat father part is meant to lead up to his big character revival but I could have done without that. Maybe save that for a sequel but in this one just lean into him being a jerk the whole time. Give him an ambiguous scene near the end where he does something good but doesn’t admit it and that’s how the viewer sees that he has changed. Adding in his kid for the bonding moments was a lot more in your face.

Callum of course has his crisis where he just has a hard time seeing the good in everyone anymore. As the film goes on, he is able to get back into a more positive mindset. A basic but more effective character arc if you ask me. He had only been faltering recently so it was easy to do a 180 compared to Jack who has been a mega jerk for ages. Jack even stole candy from a baby which was really crazy. Even at his lowest, Callum would have never done that.

The movie has a pretty good amount of world building so they could definitely build a franchise off of this. While Christmas is the main attraction here, the organization deals with any supernatural menaces so you could spread that into a lot of spinoffs. Even if this film never gets any sequels or spinoffs, it still helps to make the world feel pretty good for this one. The film doesn’t try to chomp all of the lore down for you so you can fill in some of the blanks.

Meanwhile the action is pretty solid. The hand to hand is on point and I always enjoy see Callum just threaten everyone to their faces. Now that takes a lot of guts and outside of one slap fight, he always has the upper hand at the ready. The soundtrack is also pretty good with some classic Christmas songs in there. The movie definitely feels nice and festive as a result. Like I mentioned before, the pacing is also pretty fast so the whole thing goes by really quickly. There’s a ton of replay value here and as long as you enjoy a good amount of humor during the adventure, you’ll be having a good time.

Callum definitely needs some better assistants though. Throughout the film it feels as though he doesn’t have anyone he can really rely on. Sure, Jack becomes that guy but for the most part, the other characters don’t even keep up the appearances of trying to help. Whether it’s letting villains get away or being taken out off screen, it’s just not a good look for them. If Callum did decide to retire, well I bet Santa would be captured real quick.

Overall, Red One is a pretty good film. It’s what I would call a very basic action blockbuster. There are a lot of laughs and fun action scenes. it never takes any real risks so you can bet that all of the jokes and fights are as safe as possible. That’s not a problem though because the execution is still on point the whole time and that’s what counts. You’ll be grinning along with the characters as things get real and they absolutely handle the situation. I could easily watch a sequel with the same cast because the dynamics work well. If you haven’t seen it yet, then you should definitely change that.

Overall 7/10

The Legend of Zorro Review

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When you watch a Zorro film, ordinarily you’re expecting the hero to look pretty good. Unfortunately that is not the case here as Zorro has his worst film appearance yet. The film itself isn’t bad but yeah it’s going to be a bit hard to get around that and the romance is absolutely abysmal here. Definitely one of the worst romances you will have seen in quite a while here. None of the characters look even remotely decent by the end of it.

The story starts with Zorro taking names and saving the day as per usual. Unfortunately his wife Elena is not happy with how much time Zorro spends away from the family. So they end up divorcing and Zorro gets super depressed. Fast forward to some time later and Elena has quickly rebounded with the wealthy Armand. She can now live a life of luxury with a man who will devote all of his time to her. Zorro is very jealous about this but it’s hard to defeat this guy. Zorro has become a bit of a drunk and Armand seems to be good at everything. Hopefully Armand turns out to be evil or something…or Zorro might be doomed.

I should also mention that Zorro and Elena had a kid which makes the divorce that much worse. The kid gets quite a bit of screentime and tends to be rather annoying. You have to try and watch his scenes as though the film is a complete comedy like his opening action scene where he defeats his teacher in a fencing battle. He straight up takes down a full adult and it’s meant to be real impressive. It’s more of a groanworthy scene. The fact that the kid can fight automatically makes him better than the average kid but he didn’t really need to be here.

Outside of the opening action scene which is admittedly very solid, don’t expect much from Zorro either here. The whole middle part of the film is him making a fool out of himself. Getting dunked on by Armand, allowing himself to be the butt of the joke like in the maid scene, and generally just looking very petty. He didn’t really give Elena any good reasons to go back to him. We finally get some fun Zorro action in the climax and even Elena gets a fight but it feels really late for that.

Part of the problem here is that the film has a number of plot twists to unveil but you immediately know that none of them are going to salvage Zorro’s character. Even if he doesn’t exactly know how things escalated with him and Elen so much, he should have been the bigger man and done some digging. Confront her and get to the bottom of the issue/find out if the problem is really that he is Zorro. As for Elena, the twists don’t help her at all. Lets just say it involves blackmail and then she has plans of her own but none of them really excuse her deciding to just leave Zorro in the dark.

In a perfect world they could have been teaming up the whole time. There would need to be significant changes to the plan of course but it could have worked and made both of them look good. Instead they just look really bad and Armand ends up looking a lot better. There’s a particularly embarrassing scene where Zorro is hiding behind some vegetables and thinks he has an opening so he walks over to Elena. Naturally he was not subtle and Armand caught him.

You’re going to be cringing really hard on Zorro’s behalf here. It’s crazy character assassination and I don’t think I need to go into detail on why this makes the romance really bad. Zorro and Elena’s bond was apparently weaker than you ever could have imagined for this whole story to take place. I also think to an extent the whole romance drama was added because the main plot wasn’t going to be enough to hold people’s attention. You have some drama over the states and the civil war approaching but it’s all rather boring. The villains are fairly generic and the plot just doesn’t have much life to it.

So I don’t blame the movie for putting the romance as the main focus but it absolutely could have given the characters some more dignity in the process. The film’s fight scenes are good enough where you feel like the movie should have leaned into that a whole lot more. With all of the big fight scenes this could have been an absolutely great film. Maybe actually build up to Zorro being too obsessive with sopping criminals to make Elena’s problem appear to be more valid. It’s always going to be a tough sell because he is saving lives throughout but it can be done. Maybe he starts to go too far or something.

As for the villains, well you’ve got a classic heel with Armand here. Whether he ends up being evil or not, play him up as the big antagonist. Someone who is a total jerk and taking everything that Zorro wants but without giving Zorro a way to take him down. He keeps his hands clean on the surface which makes Zorro more and more frustrated. The building blocks were all there to make this a really fun film. Then just write the kid out and you’re really all set.

Overall, The Legend of Zorro is a film that is fun to watch but you can definitely tell that it should have been a lot better. At times it does aim a little too young and goes with the easy jokes. The pacing is good though and the movie does feel like it really flies by. So you can see that there was a lot of effort put into this one, the priorities just weren’t always where they should have been. I’d still recommend checking the movie out but if you really like Zorro as a character…be warned that his appearance here is a bit diferent.

Overall 6/10

Retribution Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for what I would consider to be a very simple thriller film. There aren’t a lot of twists and turns in this one outside of the ending. It’s all about a simple threat that is tough to shake and how the main character has to deal with it. The whole film essentially takes place inside a car so the film has to try and write around this. I’d say it does a pretty good job all things considered.

The film starts off by introducing us to Matt who leads a rather stressful life. He encourages clients to use his company for stock trading and then has to convince them to hang on even when they start to go into the red. It’s not an easy job by any means since nobody can completely predict the stock market. Additionally, this does affect people’s lives. You can lose millions of dollars in an instant if you are not careful….or even if you are careful. Well, one day he is driving his two kids over to school when someone calls and explains that he has put bombs under each of the seats. None of them can leave now and they must continue driving until this mysterious villain is satisfied. What demands will he make?

It’s a tough situation to get out of since it seems like death will be inevitable. Somehow the villain is able to watch them inside of the car and it could literally be anybody. There is no easy way to call his bluff on this without risking the two kids in the car. If Matt was by himself then perhaps he actually would try something like that but it’s just too reckless in this situation. So yeah the villain had a pretty good strategy at play here.

Now to address the elephant in the room, the kids are both pretty annoying. It takes them an incredibly long time to lock in here. While Matt wasn’t telling them what was going on for a while, I feel like they could have picked up on the context clues. It’s clear that something was going on after all so they should have been on their best behavior. By the end they were doing their best to defend Matt but it was a little late in the day for that. Meanwhile Matt can’t expect too much help from his wife in this one as we have some marital issues going on here.

That subplot didn’t really seem to be necessary. I feel like the deck was stacked against Matt enough in this film so it’s not like this was going to really change things. Still, I was glad she was still ready to help the kids and wasn’t letting them get hit in the crossfire. In a way, Matt having to watch the kids actually changed the villain’s plans somewhat.

One of the best scenes in the film is when the villain finally makes his appearance and delivers a grand speech. I have a big weakness for smug speeches like that where the villain just goes into detail on how completely he has won. There’s something really satisfying about it. The villain played his role well, even stressing Matt out with what I would consider to be some empty bluffs.

The villain was aided by the FBI here as their main fighter wasn’t the smartest. She seems to be absolutely determined to prove that Matt was the mastermind here even when it started to become apparent that this wasn’t the case. She was far too stubborn and that is not really becoming for someone in her position. It feels like there should have been many ways to verify Matt’s story or at least find some evidence. She just wasn’t giving him a single inch even when there were a lot of lives at stake. As a result, Matt really had to act on his own the whole time.

So how does the film stay interesting when it’s just Matt driving around the whole time? Well, that’s where the writing/mystery comes in handy. You’re wondering how Matt will be able to find anything out the whole time. He is starting this round out at such a massive disadvantage after all, it’s not easy to bridge that kind of distance. If there was no mystery then this may have faltered but the car angle just worked really well.

It would have been nice to have gotten a proper fight scene at the end of the film though. It wasn’t really that kind of film but it would have been the real cherry on top for the entertainment value. The final action scene still worked well though. Also the film has a fairly light tone even when serious stuff is going on. That works well for letting you just have fun with this. The first victim for example is so crazy that the scene isn’t as dark as it normally would be.

She is clearly told that there is a bomb in the car and it will blow up if she tries to get out. Despite this, she is trying for several minutes to busy the door down and run while her boyfriend tries to hold her back. Ultimately he isn’t able to do this and they blow up. Then you have another guy begging with Matt to let him live while ignoring the fact that Matt is on a phone and clearly taking orders. I mean, Matt could have absolutely been a lot more clear about the situation. Maybe he thought it would be too risky but he did let everyone think he was the villain when he didn’t really need to. This made his journey really tough in the end. So there’s technically a lot of sadness within the film but the tone rarely gets around to reflecting that.

Overall, This is a pretty fun film. It’s certainly nothing grand, the plot is straight forward and uncomplicated. That said, the pacing is good and the writing works well enough. I didn’t think the movie had any glaring weaknesses and it has a good amount of replay value. I’d definitely recommend checking it out whenever you have a chance. I think you will end up liking it more than you would have expected.

Overall 7/10

Prince of Darkness Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those really spooky titles. With something called “Prince of Darkness” you already know that you’re not exactly in for your normal film experience. This one dips into sci-fi as well as the horror genre so that really makes this an unforgettable experience. The movie gets serious props for managing to get a really intense atmosphere within the film but also does tend to go a little too far with all the gross imagery and violence. At the end of the day I would call it an elevated slasher but make no mistake, everyone is being taken down.

The film has a professor bring along his most talented students to a church for some kind of project. They’re going to be here for days so they have their own beds and everything. They all specialize in different kinds of science so whatever is going on here has to be really massive. They are all being kept in the dark on what is going on here. See, it turns out that in this world, the Devil is actually an alien that has been trapped underneath the Church. Unfortunately he is slowly breaking past the seal and if he escapes, the whole planet is lost.

Honestly they should have told the students this from the start or at least a similar story to get them motivated. It’s not like most of them would have believed that anyway right? It would have at least given them some urgency though as they are initially really chill about the whole thing. Since they are each experts of their field, it probably would have helped them to target more specific solutions as well.

As the film goes on, we see how slowly the situation is getting worse and worse all around. The Church begins to get surrounded by the homeless who all seem to be affected by the evil influence. The Devil is able to shoot out his energy whenever he wants and mind controls people too. So even though he was technically still sealed for most of the film, it seemed to be because he was allowing it. He takes over the computers and begins to start hunting the humans in earnest later on.

That felt like cheating the premise a bit here. You’d think that the humans are at least safe until they run out of time or the container breaks. Letting the villain be able to bust through that just made the situation even more unwinnable. Now based on the cryptic dreams of the future, it may not have mattered but you should at least afford the heroes some hope.

I will say that the main characters do act like classic horror characters in the sense that they do not make the smart decisions even when their lives are on the line. Forget the evil supernatural stuff for a minute. You’re in a rather rough neighborhood, why go outside after dark into the back alley? I think he was going for a smoke or something but naturally he is surrounded and then murdered. The people who got destroyed by their mind controlled colleagues get a little mercy from me because that’s not something you could really predict.

Going outside like that was not smart though even if the whole thing is tragic. Then you have the priest who is someone you can pile a lot of the blame on. He is putting the characters in a really rough situation without proper context so they have to figure it all out slowly. Even when he sees all the signs that they are running out of time, he mainly just panics. By the end he finally has his moment in the final hour. So he ends strong but it would have been nice if he had a better role in the first half. Perhaps he could have helped with some supernatural support right? Although his faith was clearly shaken from the start.

The movie has a lot of weird visuals the whole time like a pigeon being crucified and different people melting into worms and shooting up ooze. So needless to say, it’s the kind of film that could make you a bit queasy. It’s also traditionally violent at times but the bigger focus is definitely on the weird elements here. You could really cut all of those out and that would make the film work better.

There’s also that sense of claustrophobia here as the heroes technically are in a big building but have no way to get out because of the sheer number of enemies outside. When the enemies want to get in, there will be nothing to stop them. Then with each member of the research crew starting to go bad, even the indoors is no longer safe. I have to give the film a lot of credit for how big the main cast was. You even start to lost track of some of them after a while which is intentional because even within the film that happens to a few of them. When someone is gone for a while you have to wonder if something might have happened to them. That slow feeling of dread works really well.

If the film had just stuck to that instead of going more for the edge then it would have worked out a whole lot better. Perhaps the approach of trying to create that authentic evil atmosphere is ultimately what really backfired here. I think it would have been interesting if the film had delved a little more into the ramifications of the devil being an alien too. There is a good amount of dialogue and pondering in general but not usually on that angle. The writing is solid though so the film will hold your interest the whole time.

Overall, Prince of Darkness is a really intense film to be sure but it’s not one that I would recommend. It gets a little too grisly as the film goes on and the heroes were never given a proper fighting chance here. If anything it felt like they were being toyed with and depending on how you interpret the ending, there was never going to be a path to victory. So it makes for an intense watch but one that ultimately ends up feeling futile. I’d like to see another try at this one with the characters gradually vanishing or being pit against each other but without the devil actually being able to control them. As long as the seal holds, his main weapons should all be that of trickery and manipulation. Any direct action just widens the gap way too much.

Overall 2/10