The Yellow Rolls-Royce Review


Time for another anthology type film. The Rolls-Royce is a pretty interesting car to see and I can see why the brand was so well known back in the day. Personally I can’t imagine spending too much of a premium for a car though. Cars are already an outrageous price so to go even higher just for design? Maybe if the car could make me my morning Pepsi or something but otherwise no dice. Still, it makes for a fun little car to connect the 3 stories together. There is a whole lot of deception and cheating going around in these films so you really can’t trust anybody.

The first story picks up with Charles heading to the dealership to pick up his car. It’s a Yellow Rolls-Royce that even has a phone in it. Everything’s not quite how he wanted it installed but he needs it today and can’t fuss over it further. See, he had forgotten his anniversary (pretty big thing to forget to be honest) Still, he figures better late than never and heads on home to a big party. The Gold Cup is happening the next day which is a huge horse race that he looks forward to every year. He tends to win it every year but it never loses that feeling of excitement and splendor. Still, his wife Eloise is acting a bit odd. Charles doesn’t want to read into it but people are definitely giving him ideas. Particularly one lady who certainly doesn’t like Eloise and basically tells Charles that Eloise is cheating on him. He can prove that she isn’t pretty easily by checking on his Rolls-Royce. The thing is, checking the car would mean that he didn’t trust her. So the instant he heads for the car the relationship will never be the same but at the same time he has to know. What is he to do?

The film doesn’t keep it a secret that she is cheating on him from the start. This isn’t a mystery or a thriller. It’s really just about showing how betrayal can hurt quite a lot. At that point there isn’t much Charles can do. He’s tied up socially although I think that’s no excuse. Are you really able to just keep going on like everything’s normal? I feel like that’s not a good strategy because now either he’ll just go on knowing that she is probably having affairs with other people or he’ll do the same thing as revenge. Either way I don’t think he’ll be able to get excited for the Gold Cup anymore.

This was a pretty strong way to start the film. It’s easily the most emotional special. While you can’t say Charles is a great guy (He routinely ignores an ambassador who is trying to convey urgent information because he doesn’t want to deal with it) he at least seemed like a nice one. He definitely takes this hard and who wouldn’t. Eloise definitely looks really bad here. Cheating is definitely never a good idea and it’s really impossible to sympathize with her plight here. She half heartedly almost decides not to cheat but quickly goes through with it anyway. At that point she certainly made her choice.

Next up is a story about a gangster named Paolo and his gal pal Mae. He is trying to show her all the best sights in Italy and Rome but to his great annoyance she is really not impressed with any of them. In fact, they bore her completely and she wants to leave. Paolo is determined to get her to change her mind but ends up having to leave on business. See, he’s part of the mafia and from time to time he is called in to erase people. He leaves Mae with his most trusted ally Joey. Joey does his best to look after her but Mae quickly begins to like a local guy named Stefano. Stefano is a guy who flirts with everyone and admits this quite openly. He’s had more affairs than he can count but assures Mae this is the real deal this time. They have an affair but then learn that Paolo is coming back. It goes without saying that he’ll murder Stefano if he catches the guy with Mae. What can she do to save his life and prevent such a catastrophe?

Well, this is another story about cheating so I can’t say I feel bad for Mae or Stefano. Keep in mind that the person cheating is just as guilty as the single person who convinces the person in a relationship to get together. Now, in this case we have the mafia angle so you could make the case that Mae doesn’t even like Paolo and isn’t truly in a relationship. I’m not really sure that one would hold weight in this case. At the very least the secretive nature of the whole thing isn’t great and if she was serious about this she should escape with Stefano right away. I have no doubts that Paolo would track them down eventually though so then the best thing to do would be to not have the affair at the start. It would be the best way out.

Joey was definitely a really solid friend here. He maybe looked the other way too much but he did his best to keep Mae safe. Even if it meant keeping Paolo in the dark he succeeded in his mission. Paolo told him to keep Mae safe and that’s exactly what he did. Meanwhile Paolo made for a pretty fun figure. You could never really know what he was thinking. I suspect he knew more than he was letting on at the end of the film but chose to look away just this once. Perhaps he had more mercy than I would have suspected.

Finally we go to a story that actually has a war in it so there’s some high stakes here. Gerda has bought the Rolls-Royce as she prepares to travel around Europe. People keep trying to warn her that a war is breaking out but she refuses to hear it. Sensing that Gerda may be someone easy to manipulate we are introduced to a guy named Davich who claims he is a hero who will help end the war. When Gerda doesn’t really understand what this means he gives up the subtle act and just holds her at gun point to help him out. She begins the journey but is she actually bringing along someone who is very dangerous and will jeapordize the war?

This story definitely didn’t go quite how I thought it would. See, I was convinced that Davich was a bad guy. That he would turn out to be a Nazi or something as he showed his true colors. Instead his story was actually on the level and he was hear to helo the rebels win the war against the Nazi’s. It takes an incredibly long time for Gerda to get on board with this though. At one point she even starts eating a meal while bombs are flying in the distance and she couldn’t be bothered. It was a pretty surreal scene and I wasn’t sure if it was being played seriously there or if it was supposed to be a comedic moment.

The special has a lot of different vibes throughout for sure. One thing the special didn’t manage to do was make Davich likable though. I don’t care how undercover he was, he threatened to murder Gerda’s dog which was pretty crazy. There was no way I could possibly root for him after that. He just seems a little too willing to do anything to help out even if it means becoming a villain himself. Even his ending is a bit suspect as he absolutely refuses help even if it would have been very helpful at that moment. I already talked about Gerda, she isn’t very good either. She’s just too slow on the uptake the whole time and would very quickly turn on her dog at times. The final special definitely suffered from a weaker cast than the first two stories.

Overall, The Yellow Rolls-Royce is an interesting anthology. All of the shorts are pretty solid. It’s definitely one of the more emotional ones as the first two shorts have sad endings and the final one has a happy ending but with somber undertones as there were significant casualties. It is good that the main heroine there was quite skilled once she realized the danger was real and quickly pitched in to help. Imagine if she had been that heroic the whole time. While the movie can be quite somber I wouldn’t say it’s ever too down in the dumps. I would describe it as the film never letting you get too excited and content because you know things are going to turn but you have a good time in the meanwhile. The first special definitely handles this the best I’d say in part because the betrayal just feels the most personal and the film succeeds in making you feel bad for the main guy even though he wasn’t portrayed to be very heroic. I’d recommend checking this out if you want a good collection of dramas.

Overall 6/10

Fatal Attraction Review

This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

Fatal Attraction is one of those films that makes it really impossible to be all that sympathetic to the main character. He makes a ton of mistakes throughout the film and ultimately has to live with the consequences. It’s a nice cautionary tale about how a one night stand can quickly wreck your entire future going forward. It’s definitely not a romance film I would recommend and works as a complete opposite to People Will Talk. If that film depicted one of the most wholesome romances out there, this one would be one of the more sinister depictions.

The movie starts with Dan attending a party along with his wife Beth. Things have been going pretty well for the two of them over the years. They have a kid and a solid home environment. Dan is also making pretty good money as a lawyer. Unfortunately Beth heads off for a day to go check out a house they are interested in buying. Dan can’t imagine the thought of being alone for a night so he quickly makes an advance on Alex, a lady he has only known for a few hours and they have a one night stand which quickly becomes 2. Dan then decides to cut this off with Beth being back but Alex won’t accept this. She says Dan has to stay with her and her upcoming kid or she will continue to wreck his life. She goes from spamming his phone to outright murder and kidnapping. Can Dan really stop her or will this be game over for him?

So there’s no way to sympathize with Dan here. The guy just makes mistake after mistake which comes back to bite him. He knew exactly what he was doing at all times so lets keep that in mind. It’s not like this was some accident, he was drunk (Which is still no excuse) or he was alone for months and slowly started to crack. It was a single night…he hadn’t even gone home yet so more like an afternoon before he cracked. The guy had absolutely 0 loyalty to his wife Beth and that means his bond was never as strong as he thought it was. He also doesn’t prioritize his dog as he even forgets to feed him/give a walk the first night. That shows that Dan also isn’t responsible.

The movie definitely makes sure to show what a hopeless path Dan has found himself on. Unfortunately the film decides to throw in some animal violence as well as when Alex murders their rabbit. Did we really need to see this? At this point Dan still does not immediately call the cops on her. I suppose getting fingerprints may be difficult but I’d like for them to have at least conducted a search, see if you can come up with something. Alex had quite the rap sheet by the end when you factor in the kidnapping. It’s why schools always got to have a very strict policy about who is allowed to take a kid off the premises. If you’re going to have someone different pick up a kid then there have to be agreements and something in writing saying that this person is allowed to take the kid. Someone just saying it isn’t quite enough.

Beth was a solid character. She had no reason to suspect anything during the film. As far as she knew Dan was just a faithful husband going about his business so the whole thing definitely comes as a big shock. I don’t really see how she can ever forget that so I don’t see things going well after that. The kid was too young to really contribute anything to the film but did add to the tension later on. Dan’s friends were pretty reasonable. They had some good banter with the leads and even Dan’s co-workers were pretty reasonable. It shows how much he threw away during all of this.

We do get an action scene at the end of the film though so it ends on a bang. Dan looks pretty bad during this fight though and I also have to suspend a lot of disbelief for his not hearing anything with the tea kettle on. Tea is fairly loud but not quite That loud. I also thought Beth could have fought a little more as she was mostly just frozen in shock the whole time. There’s quite a bit of back and forth here though. For the most part the film’s about mental warfare but I suppose the actual ending wanted to shake things up a bit.

I wouldn’t say there’s a whole lot to like here though. The plot itself ensures that there are few likable main characters. It’s always tough when a film has a main character you just can’t get behind because you’ll be seeing him throughout so that can be tricky. The romance itself is naturally pretty bad as well. It was definitely an ill advised affair from the start. The writing is okay I suppose but nothing out of this world and the pacing is also fairly standard. The animal violence didn’t do the film any wonders either but even without it this just seemed like a recipe for disaster.

Overall, Fatal Attraction is definitely a reminder on how all actions have consequences. Dan thought he could hide from his but at best that will just delay the inevitable. After a while you have to own up to things although ideally in less of a theatrical fashion. At least the film had the restraint to not have anything happen to the dog or that would have definitely hurt the movie even more. As it stands, if you want a film about quality characters with a good romance then I would recommend People Will Talk a whole lot more. As I mentioned in the beginning these films are polar opposites so with as good as People Will Talk ended up being, it makes sense that this one couldn’t reach those levels.

Overall 2/10

All of Me Review


It’s time for an interesting body possession story. Think of it as something like Freaky Friday only this time the soul is going to a body that’s already filled which leads to its own share of troubles for the main character. The film does its best to not make him all that sympathetic though so unfortunately we’re left in a trick place. Unfortunately the film has too many iffy moments preventing this film from reaching its full potential as a solid comedy film. Always a shame when you see the potential right there.

The movie starts off with Roger being tired of being put in charge of small legal affairs that he feels aren’t particularly important. He asks his boss for a real assignment this time and is placed in charge of the Edwina estate. She is a rich lady who’s about to die and then the company gets the land. She is now trying to change her will so she gives the entire fortune to a girl who is related to a worker there. The reasoning is Edwina has found a guy who can transport her soul to this other person. Roger thinks this is all hooey and lets her know this which almost backfires but the boss doesn’t sweat it. The issue though is when Edwina dies her soul gets thrown into Roger by mistake. Now they each own half of his body. Can the two of them get along long enough to find their way back to the mystic to fix this? In the meanwhile that girl Terry will now be rich and that idea doesn’t sound bad to her.

So there’s a whole lot you can do with this concept. The idea of body hopping is definitely nothing new but since the situations are endless that gives you a lot of creativity. The two of them not getting along just adds to the dynamic. The film does deliver some fun scenes of course and both characters are reasonable for that purpose. Where things get tricky is with Roger who definitely doesn’t seem like a reliable guy. He is very quick to allow Terry to seduce him and that’s where things get dicey. She doesn’t just ensnare him once but even twice. If not for Edwina he would have really been doomed at times. Fortunately the mystic saved Roger the second time. It was a little convenient how the guy just appeared but I certainly won’t complain about that. These romance scenes are definitely no good though and really hurt Roger as a character.

Then of course you have the fact that he was willing to manipulate the court and help out someone he knows was guilty. It’s part of why I would never really want to be a lawyer. The possibility that you have to defend someone that you know is guilty doesn’t sound like a good idea to me. The boss was definitely not a good character and it’s a shame because he did have one good scene early on. When Roger blows up at Edwina and the boss dashes him to the back you expect Roger to be canned because of what Edwina was saying. No, the boss didn’t care in the slightest which is something I wasn’t expecting. Now that was a good humor scene. The film certainly has others as well so make no mistake, it has its moments. Some don’t land though like the whole zipper thing which was just downright painful to consider rather than being humorous.

So this is a film that would have benefited from a better main character or at least less of the affairs going on. Those scenes definitely don’t add anything to the story and just serve as padding for the film. Cut them out and not much changes at all. I dare say that the characters also should have ended things with Terry on their first attack attempt. They really looked sloppy there. The climax is still solid though as we get a fun chase scene. It was also fun seeing the characters stroll up to her mansion only to be greeted with a gun. Terry was certainly prepared, you have to give her that.

As a main villain Terry is definitely intense. She certainly played her part relatively well although there are definitely ways she could have played this a bit better. Her final plan was good enough though where you feel like it was a solid attempt. She was very close to getting away with the whole thing. Pretty easy for earning 23 million in one shot eh? Roger also has a friend named Tyrone who is probably the most dependable character in the film. He may not be able to help out much with the water in the climax but fortunately things worked out okay. He had some of the funnier scenes like giving the play by play during the climax. He had a lot of fun with the role.

As for Edwina, well it’s clear to see why she doesn’t have any friends. She’s certainly not a particularly nice person. Her backstory is fairly tragic though since she’s apparently been sickly her whole life. In a way that’s why she’s thrilled for everything to be all over. If the spell had worked out right away she would have been one very happy camper. That said, she loses a lot of her sympathy points as she actively sabotages Roger the whole time. I don’t blame her stepping in during the scenes with Terry or at the court house, but in general she talks a whole lot even when it’s obvious that Roger will get in trouble. By the same token, Roger also keeps forgetting that he can think out his responses instead of saying them which wouldn’t be quite as crazy. That’s why they’re a perfect pair here. They keep on making mistakes together as a team.

Overall, All of Me is a film that has an interesting set up but the execution isn’t quite up to task with helping out the plot. The movie will be good for some laughs but ultimately just can’t get past the whole Terry plot. It’s also a shame because Terry is a great name so I’d rather it doesn’t get associated with the main villain here. If Roger was a little stronger mentally to resist her influences then that would have helped the film out more. I also think the film could have done more with Roger falling asleep so Edwina takes over the body and runs around making a big mess. There’s a lot you can do with that. Finally, we do get another court scene here which is nice although you’d think Edwina would be able to act a little naturally than she did. I’d recommend checking out a different comedy like Christmas With the Kranks, the execution there is stronger.

Overall 4/10

The Two Mrs. Carrolls Review


It’s time to look at a film about deception and betrayal. From the start all of the characters are fairly complicit in what is going on so you have to take a double look to see who you’re supposed to be rooting for. By the end it’s pretty obvious who the worst party is though. This movie has the honor of being one of the only films I’ve seen to have a kid character who is actually very likable. Trust me when I say that this is a very rare thing indeed. This is a pretty fun film and works well as an old school thriller.

The film starts off with Geoffrey deciding to have an affair despite being married. He meets up with Sally and this goes on for a while but eventually she finds out that he is married and breaks things off. Shortly afterwards Geoffrey returns and says that his wife died of completely natural causes so Sally whole heartedly believes him and they get married right away. The old wife was apparently very sickly and so this was natural but Sally begins to learn things that hint otherwise. One day her old flame Penny shows up with some guests including a rich lady named Cecily. Sally suspects that Cecily and Geoffrey are having an affair and starts to feel very sick every day. Is she about to meet the same fate as the original wife?

So one iffy thing about Sally here is the fact that she believed Geoffrey. Isn’t it awful convenient that the original wife should pass away so suddenly after Sally turned down his advances? She really should have written him off entirely because of the fact that he tried to deceive her the first time. You can’t have a proper romance built on deception so if she had done this then none of this trouble would have started in the first place. It would have been the cleanest way to end things right out of the gate but of course things don’t normally end quite so cleanly.

By the end Sally makes almost every mistake in the book. I think her worst scene is in the climax where she actually grabs the gun and has the drop on Geoffrey but ends up not having the nerve to shoot. Look, if you’re worried about murdering the person (which you shouldn’t be in this scenario) then just shoot the leg or in the chest. Odds are that one shot won’t be fatal and now you also get to live to see another day which is a pretty good bonus if you ask me. More characters need to try and consider this sort of thing. It would definitely go a long way.

As for Geoffrey himself, it’s always odd to have an antagonist as the lead. It can be an interesting concept as you see the villain’s descent into darkness or a time when they were the lesser of two evils. Madoka Rebellion and the Star Wars prequel trilogy are famous examples of that although for the latter “infamous” may be a better word. It doesn’t work for Geoffrey because there is no way you can sympathize or even understand where he is coming from here. He has no good reason to bump off the characters. The guy is just crazy and all the bravado in the world can’t save his character. If anything it makes him all the more fake because you never buy the act for a second. He was going to cheat on his second wife right from the start.

Cecily is the next lady in line and she is pretty bad. She knows that Geoffrey is married and wants to steal him away regardless. She makes her advances quite public and really doesn’t care what anyone thinks. Sally continues to invite her for events as well which emboldens her even more. Definitely not a quality character. You’ve also got Penny who liked Sally a lot back in the day. He’s not very subtle about the fact that he still loves her which makes him a bit annoying. If you fall for someone who is married then it’s really your obligation to ignore those feelings and bury them as far as you can. Being obvious about it is just being annoying and adding pressure to everyone around. He helps out a bit at the end but really does take a long time to do anything.

Tuttle is the main doctor who looks after Sally but unfortunately he is not very good at his job. He’s quite insecure and always loves talking about the burglar who has been running around. That subplot is unfortunately a red herring. I thought it would have been awesome if the robber had shown up to try and get Geoffrey near the end but the film didn’t go that route. Either way Tuttle will give you some pretty fun scenes here and there. The guy is a hopeless drunk which doesn’t help with all of his other issues but at least the guy always talks tough.

Finally we’ve got Beatrice who is Geoffrey’s kid. She’s pretty rational and doesn’t even talk like a kid. She likes using really big words throughout the film. At times you suspect that she knows more than she’s letting on but the film doesn’t go in that direction so it’s left to your own interpretation. She means well and Beatrice was definitely the best kid I’ve seen in a while. It’s probably not a very realistic portrayal of a kid, but it was still pretty cool all the same.

The film’s final scene is definitely pretty awesome though. Part of how the film’s murders worked was that Geoffrey would use the milk to poison everyone so in the end he offers the cops a cup when they come to arrest him. The whole scene is pretty tense for a second as you think the film will end with them thinking about it, but instead they give him a hard no. It was a solid attempt but I’m definitely glad that the cops didn’t make that kind of mistake. It would have been a pretty tragic ending for everyone if that had happened.

Overall, This is a pretty solid thriller film. It’s one of those rare movies that is able to succeed despite pretty much everyone being unlikable. Geoffrey is easily the worst character here as everything is really on his head. Sally didn’t help matters by not shooting and by pursuing a relationship with Geoffrey though. At least she was smarter than Horace who thought that blackmailing a serial killer was a good idea. What did he really think was going to happen? Blackmailing a normal person is already risky but someone who doesn’t mind crossing the line? Now that’s a bad plan if I’ve ever heard one!

Overall 7/10

September Review


It’s time to look at one of those films that is pretty terrible. The very premise should clue you in to this though so at least it won’t come as any surprise. The whole plot basically revolves around cheating with none of the characters being strong enough to leave the house. That would have been the best way to avoid the drama. It drags on and on so by the time you walk out of the theater (Or more realistically walking out of the TV room since nobody is seeing this in theaters right now) you’ll just be ready for a good meal and to act as if the film never happened.

The film starts with Lane and her friend Stephanie meeting up at Lane’s place. For some reason I thought they were sisters, but they’re just best friends. They’re joined by Lane’s parents Diane and Lloyd as well as a guy named Howard and Lane’s boyfriend Peter. Having this many people around the house definitely ensures that there will be drama, but things get a little worse than that. Peter decides that he wants to start going out with Stephanie even though she is currently married. Howard wants to be with Lane, but that plot is so pointless that the film doesn’t care about it either so it gets almost no screen time. Meanwhile Diane just wants to have her book written but everyone is too selfish to help her out with it. What cane Lane do about all of this?

Whenever a movie is all about cheating it’s just not going to be good. The whole premise is pretty mean spirited and none of the characters are good. Stephanie is pretty guilty for even giving Peter a moment of her time. She claims that she was trying to get him to notice her for a while so she started the whole thing even though she’s married. That’s already a pretty big strike against her character. There are some things you just don’t do and trying to have an affair once you are taken is a big one. She also gets pretty defensive at Lane afterwards for this even though she is the one in the wrong. It’s a common reaction and one that doesn’t help her case.

Meanwhile we have Peter who is also terrible. Whether he was encouraged or not it doesn’t change the fact that he knows Stephanie already has a man as well. He is also quick to ditch Lane and blames it on being overly emotional. That’s not even remotely a good excuse and short of being mind controlled I can’t think of any that would have saved him either way. The guy is just quick to use people.

Then there is Lane and she’s not a good lead either. For starters she is never around and doesn’t try to confront Peter all that much. She’s too cautious and keeps her emotions grounded which doesn’t let her face up to what is happening right under her nose. She doesn’t handle any of the situations in the film well. Her hand in life is definitely a tough one here since nothing goes her way, but it would have been nice if she could have done something earlier.

Diane is the most enjoyable character in the film although she still makes mistakes of her own. Her decision to move back into the house when Lane was going to sell it was pretty selfish. It was probably the only time in the film where she appeared to be super unreasonable. Her decision to have a book made isn’t quite so bad because it is still her life. At the end of the day if she wants her story to be told then I don’t really think the other characters can object all that much. Also lets face it, Peter wasn’t going to finish his novel anyway.

Then there’s Howard, but there’s still nothing to say about him. He is pointless in the film as his plot gets the least amount of screen time and it doesn’t amount to anything. He’s way too old for anyone to be going with him here and he seems to realize that as he just walks out pretty silently. If the other characters could have just walked out like that rather than sticking around then maybe the film would have ended up with a happier ending. As it stands I can’t see the group getting together for a nice dinner anytime soon. The whole business probably left them pretty sore with each other.

Beyond the fact that the plot is lousy with a terrible cast of characters, the film is also pretty boring. It all takes place in one setting at the house so there is no variety. The plot is small enough for a 30 minute special so it has to be stretched out quite a lot with random plots to be a full movie. Nothing eventful happens here and you’d probably learn more just watching the news for a little while. The film makers weren’t able to succeed in getting any kind of emotion from the audience with the scenes found here. It’s all just darkly lit possibly in the hopes of saving on the budget.

Another part of the problem is really how half heartedly the characters resist making the wrong choices. If they were villains then at least you’d expect them to travel down these dark roads without remorse. By half heartedly saying that they won’t do this thing and then cheat a few minutes later it makes the characters look even worse. They couldn’t have been very serious if the situation would flip so suddenly. The only sympathetic characters here are the ones trying to buy the house and after the way they were treated I’d be surprised if they still wanted to make the sale.

Overall, September is definitely a pretty terrible film. Whenever the main characters are involved in an affair like this it’s just not going to go well. It’s a pretty big betrayal to say the least and with none of the characters getting a satisfying ending except possibly for Diane you can’t end the movie on a high note either. There’s nothing particularly positive about this film so I’d suggest staying as far away as possible. Hopefully if they make a film called October someday it will be a lot more impressive.

Overall 0/10