Tag Archives: Horror

Hold That Ghost Review

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It’s always good to see a comedy tackle the classic horror tropes since the characters can really go about destroying them in a systematic fashion. As this is the month of October, expect a lot of scary or “scary” films coming up. Hold That Ghost is a classic film that has certainly aged well even if it reuses some gags quite a few times to really get the message across. You would never guess that this came out all the way back in the 1940’s!

Chuck and Ferdie find out that they have inheireted a hotel/mansion from a gang member who they nearly followed to the grave. The criminal didn’t trust anyone so he gave them his inheiratence since they were nearby. That’s simply how his will worked. A shady character takes the heroes to the place, but then the car drives off, leaving the heroes stranded. For reasons unknown, the driver brought along a few suspicious characters including two ladies and a scientist. It turns out that the place may not be as normal as it may appear though. A mysterious ghost starts to go after Ferdie. Of course, as Ferdie is the comic relief character, nobody takes him seriously.

Now, in order for you to like this film, you’ll need to be fine with slapstick comedy as there is quite a lot of that going around here. This is a Costello film after all so it can be incredibly exaggerated at times with his actions and lack of intelligence. In a sense, you can say that the Costello films are sort of like the Adam Sandler films and how they could have been back in the 40’s since most of the terrible dialogue and writing from the modern era wouldn’t have arrived yet. I’m actually okay with this kind of comedy as I’ve actually grown used to it through Knuckles in Sonic Boom and have come to appreciate the subtle burns that these characters get. They may get pushed around a lot, but they fire back when necessary as well.

Ferdie tends to take every line directed at him literally, which means that any figure of speech results in an intriguing conversation. Ferdie just never learned most of the things which we would consider to be common sense so he pants like a dog instead when the ghost starts to scare him. It’s not entirely his fault as the main heroine doesn’t see the ghost even though objects are moving right in front of her. You start to feel a little bad for Ferdie since nothing ends up working out well for him. He loses some of your sympathy when he tries to steal the money at the end of the film though. He also lets his “friend” bully him around the place which is certainly not a great move.

As for his friend Chuck, the guy’s not quite as charasmatic although he’s a decently good character. He can go a little far with how he treats Ferdie, but the two seem to still be friends somehow. Chuck does try to help Ferdie find a new room after he is haunted several times, but he just doesn’t believe Ferdie most of the time. The evidence of any haunting is typically gone by the time Chuck arrives. Chuck is the reasonable character after all so he doesn’t believe in ghosts and is always kept out of the loop.

Most of the film is really just about these shenanigans as the ghost messes with everyone and Ferdie is the only one who seems to know about it. Finally, we get a big fight scene at the end as the true identity of the ghost shows up along with some gang members. The Ghost’s reveal was actually a little iffy and I’m still not entirely sure who exactly was the ghost. Whichever member it was certainly wasn’t that brave as Ferdie and the gang were enough to scare him. Still, the battle royale between the heroes and the gang was certainly a whole lot of fun. Each side had to brace themselves and jump into the action! Ferdie got a lot of good hits as you would expect, but the other members didn’t do so bad either.

I hadn’t been expecting the fight so that was a nice touch. The ending was also nice as the main two characters finally got to own their own tavern. The journey was tough, but arriving at the destination was likely very satisfying for the heroes. It was a peaceful ending and I wouldn’t have minded a bit of a twist, but it fit the tone of the movie. The film never dragged and it was an enjoyable title. Nothing out of the ordinary happened and essentially played without any surprises, but this is the kind of film that you can watch and leave feeling chipper.

This is a great example of a film that likely wouldn’t be as good if it was made in the modern days. For one thing, this is a comedy where the dialogue stays classy. A modern version would likely add a lot of swear words and suggestive lines. Some aspects of the film also just age better here like the shoot and run gangsters from the beginning. It’s just retro to see them here whereas in a modern film, it’s a little hard to picture it working smoothly. The camp factor is also just hard to picture in a really modern film although it’s certainly possible.

Hold That Ghost is really like a live action Scooby Doo film. It’s simple and to the point as the heroes try to retake their tavern and maybe earn some money along the way. It the film had kept running for too long, like an extra 30-40 minutes or so, then it likely would have dragged. As it stands, this was my first Abbott and Costello film in quite a while so I’m not tired of their routine yet. I actually hadn’t expected this film to really be a true comedy so it was a pleasant surprise. That’s the loophole for horror movies, just add a comedy angle to the mix and it should help the score dramatically!

Overall, Hold That Ghost was a fun film. Admittedly, the supporting characters could have been better. The radio actress’ scream when not in danger and lack of one during the real spooks was a decent gimmick I suppose. Her rivalry with Ferdie at times was intense I suppose as they fought in a classic splashing contest..unless I’m thinking of the Waitress. They were pretty similar in apearance although different in personality. The Doctor also wasn’t that good. I didn’t mind him at the beginning as he started to brag and did look like Clark Kent, but then his romance plot started and that was game over for him. He lost his charm and his ruthless wit. If you like comedies with a lot of slapstick and quick banter, then this is the film to check out. The Ghost can’t be taken seriously, but he’s not supposed to be. You can sit back and enjoy the show!

Overall 7/10

xxxHolic Review

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xxxHolic is now over and it only took me a little over 2 months to get through the series. That’s pretty impressive if you ask me and it was certainly one of my quicker speed reads. This series was fun and to an extent, it’s a peaceful, episodic series similar to Yotsubato or Natsume. The main difference is that it’s more interesting and the characters are better. If you were expecting action then you will be disappointed, but if you come in expecting the right vibe, then you will be pleasantly surprised at how it’s handled.

Watanuki is your average kid who goes to school and tries to be a nice guy. He doesn’t really get along with his classmate, Domeki, but they still end up hanging out a lot thanks to interventions by Watanuki’s employer, Yuko. Yuko is a space/time witch who owns a shop which can grant wishes for people. Her abilities seem to only be limited by her imagination and most of the cases that she deals with are fairly meta. Watanuki is typically stuck with the manual labor when there is something to do. Things tend to freak him out but he adjusts as the series goes on.

xxxHolic was definitely a slice of life at first, but then it slowly started to take on a more somber note as Yuko hinted that things would have to end. The status quo can never remain for long as change is inevitable, but Watanuki didn’t want to have to past ways so soon. Yuko continues to lose power as the series goes on until she finally starts to fade and disappear, which leaves Watanuki with a new mission to uphold the shop until she returns. This is essentially the last part of the series. You can split xxxHolic into two chapters, the Yuko adventures where she messed with Watanuki a lot and then the second half is all about Watanuki being the owner and losing all of his personality.

Before I go into that, it should be noted that this series is in the same continuity as just about every other Clamp series. That’s nothing new, but it is heavily intertwined with the Tsubasa series to an extent that you would typically not expect. If you haven’t read the Tsubasa series, it won’t really affect your experience here, but if you have read it, then the interactions between the series is always interesting.

As expected, the art is fairly clear and easy to read. The Clamp series have varying levels of quality for me and I think they’re at their best in these slice of life series as the clear art works well for creating the characters. It doesn’t work quite as well for fights although Clamp gave it their all. I’d definitely give the art a thumbs up here.

All right, let’s talk about Watanuki. He’s the main character of the title and a decently likable character for the most part. He really overreacts whenever Domeki is on screen, which can get a little repetitive, but sometimes he’s right. Typically he’s not, but it’s good to see him take the win sometimes. Watanuki still means well for the most part and he’s a nice guy. My problem is his new personality in the second part of the series. Once Yuko is gone, Watanuki decides to run the shop, but he also decides to become Yuko to an extent. Now, he only wears the clothes that she would use to run the shop, smokes the same cigar that she had, and even goes as far as to copy her poses and dialogue within the chapters.

It’s simply overdone and I believe that this does have a term in real life as a person can try to essentially become a person that they were close to who ended up passing away. It wasn’t good character development for Watanuki though and I ended up not really liking the character by the end. I definitely miss the original.
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Domeki is the main supporting character and he’s always around. He really likes to drink and he’s a fairly loyal friend who came to Watanuki’s aid several times during the series. Unlike the main hero, Domeki can actually fight and he gets all of the action scenes in the series. He’s definitely a nice guy and while he is rude to Watanuki on purpose, it seems to all be a game for him. With everyone else he tends to be slightly more polite or at least more aware of the situation.

Yuko naturally has a very large role in the series. As Watanuki is always very serious, Yuko loves to tease him the entire series by making absurd demands or putting him in dicey positions. (Inviting everyone over for a sleepover) Watanuki always has a huge reaction which certainly encourages her. She’s a lot of fun and one of the reasons why the series is so enjoyable. Yuko always knows how to have a good time and she hides a lot of the tougher truths from Watanuki, like the fact that she is in a fairly tough fight at the moment.

Throughout the series, she gives a lot of wise advice to Watanuki. Yuko believes that nothing is by chance and everything that is to be was meant to be. She mentions this quite often, but also tells Watanuki about how strong desires can eventually just turn into darkness. For example, there was a lady who wanted to be with someone so badly that she turned into an evil spirit. Yuko will grant any wish for a price so it is a stretch to think of her as a hero. She tends to help the heroes and has a soft spot for them, but she is also content to just let a person fade away so that she could let Watanuki witness the irony of that person’s demise.

While Yuko’s the most enjoyable character in the series, Mokona is also a very good one. He loves to drink as well and messes with Watanuki when he has the chance. Mokona’s role is very small next to the other characters, but he makes his presence felt. Himawari is the main heroine of the series and she is mainly just around to act oblivious. It turns out that she has a rather dark secret which explains a whole lot, but I still can’t say that she was a very good character. She’s a nice character so I won’t say that she’s a downright bad one, but she just lacked character development and never became all that memorable.

Kohane is a fairly important character as she gets a whole arc to herself. She can see spirits like Watanuki so she is quickly thrust into the world of television. The heroes help her to repair the rift between her and her mother although it takes time and a few years since after the time skip, things aren’t quite perfect yet. She was a nice pal for Watanuki, but once her powers started to wane, so did her role in the series.

While I did mention that the series can be a little somber at some points as Watanuki wonders if he’ll ever see Yuko again, for the most part I’d say that it’s fairly light hearted. It’s a calming experience as you read through the volumes and that’s part of why it’s so enjoyable to read. The character interactions are handled well and even if some of the characters can act a little repetitively, it reinforces the whole slice of life angle.

If I had any complaints with the series, it would be that I didn’t like 2 of the cases. One involved a spirit who used to be human and there was hintings of domestic violence there. It’s never explicitly stated, but it’s fairly obvious and Watanuki wasn’t really able to help the spirit very much. It was a very somber story and there are a few that don’t get to have happy endings, but for the most part it’s either an ironic fate or one that is sad for the individual, but not in a really dark way.

The other arc that I wasn’t crazy about was Kohane’s as the media and the other stars decided to throw water on her and basically act rude because they were jealous of her abilities. The arc dragged a little and was mostly filler so I was essentially just waiting for it to be all over. The stand alone stories were typically the best one like the mysterious sounds so Yuko gave someone a bell case. There were a lot of other ones and they were typically all good. Even Kohane’s had a lot of good parts like the learning how to cook section. I always love cooking parts, which is why it’s too bad that we don’t have more good food titles. Toriko counts, but only to a very slight extent.

As for the interesting ending to xxxHolic, it’s definitely pretty unique. Let’s just say that there’s a pretty big time skip and while it’s customary to end a series with one, you typically don’t see one that’s quite so large. It just goes to show that the heroes will have to do a lot of waiting and it’s easy to imagine that Watanuki would be bored at this point. With technology, it’s safe to say that I’d never be bored even if I had 100 years, but Watanuki is a bit old fashioned in that sense so he should really give it a shot. I imagine that meeting descendants every once in a while is always interesting.

It’ll definitely be interesting to see how a sequel series handles this. To an extent, if it’s more of a nostalgia based sequel like Tsubasa, the series doesn’t have to introduce a whole lot of plot as the stand alone adventures can just continue. This series had a very small cast as you can tell from the review and I don’t expect the sequel to add many others. I also don’t see Yuko returning in the sequel either, but I could definitely see her being able to talk with Watanuki for brief periods of time. Spoilers time, although I essentially hinted at it already. Bringing her back just seems like it would defy a lot of what the first series talked about as death is one of the few things that is irreversible. Yes, Yuko’s disappearance cannot be called a normal death, but it’s essentially what it all boiled down too. She just slowed it down for a while.

Of course, that’s why a sequel series likely wouldn’t be as good as the original. Without Yuko’s interesting views on everything, the series may not be quite as deep as the first one. Watanuki intentionally copies her personality, but it’s not the same as hearing it all from the original. Also, I still don’t like Watanuki’s new personality and the timeskip likely will not have done him any favors either. Maybe he’ll slowly regain his old personality, but the odds of that are slim.

Finally, I may as well talk about the power levels for a second. Everything is pureposefully vague, but Watanuki and Yuko state that their abilities are greatest while in dreams. In the real world, they do seem to have some slight magical abilities as Watanuki can levitate and both of them seem to have telekenesis and general magic. They wouldn’t do too well against other magicians like Dr. Strange or Fai for me, but in universe, Yuko is much stronger than Fai as she contends with foes like Clow Reed. I would have liked to have seen some more action to see their true abilities. Domeki has his spirit arrows which can deal a good amount of damage, but his human state remain so it’s similar to the Sailor Scouts. He has good offensive powers, but he’s still a total glass cannon.
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Overall, xxxHolic was a pretty fun title. It’s certainly the kind of series that you could easily read again as a calming experience. I wasn’t a huge fan of the final saga in the series though and Watanuki still feels fake there, but it is what it is. At 19 volumes, the series is decently long so there’s time for quite a lot of adventures. With so much meta content, a lot of things are vague, but in a good way and Yuko’s wise words are always interesting to listen too. As already said, the series is just a lot of fun and I’m sure that you will enjoy it. Don’t go into it expecting a thriller, but remember that it is a slice of life with some fun supernatural elements. Then you’ll be fine!

Overall 8/10

Cult of The Cobra Review

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Time to look at another retro film by Universal. This one definitely came out quite a while ago and I will admit that I have never heard of it before. The poster is certainly intriguing and I never get tired of seeing the scared looks on everyone’s face as they look at the main characters of the film. It was a staple of the old films after all and they do have a good reason to be very afraid. After all, their lives may be in grave danger!

A group of American soldiers were getting ready to go to New York, but they hadn’t found anything really cool to take pictures of. They became fascinated by a man who could play music to a snake and one American mentioned how their was a religious cult who believes that people could turn into snakes and vice versa. The old man told them that he could take them to a meeting so they could see for themselves…for 100 dollars plus 10 up front. The heroes went and saw an intriguing show with a whole lot of dancing. Unfortunately, one of the members was drunk out of his mind and decided to take a very bright and loud picture of the show. Naturally, this did not fly with the members there and they decided to attack.

The army members were able to escape thanks to their military training, but one of their members died to a Cobra bite and they were cursed so that the rest would die the same way. Was this real or was it fantasy? Most of the members disregarded this right away, but then a mysterious lady moved next door and all of the animals were afraid of her. Also, more of the army members started to die from mysterious accidents. It may take a rocket scientist to put the clues together before it is too late!

This is certainly a classic horror film at its core. The Cobra even gets her own theme music. Whenever she puts on her serious face, the music speeds up and you know that one of the army guys is going to die…or at least be threatened. She typically gets to play her theme music at least three times before any fatalities occur. You know that the characters will be toast, but you just don’t know when they will bite the big one. Even the wife of one of the main character is nearly taken down, but the handy dandy mailman arrives just in the nick of time. That’s why speedy mail delivery is always so important right? Naturally, I’d give the soundtrack here a thumbs up. It’s not quite Resurrection F or Bonds Beyond Time, but it’s rare for a 50’s film to have any notable themes at all, so this was quite an impressive feat.

The film’s only a little bit above an hour so it’s quite short. That being said, the end of the film starts to drag just a little as you’re waiting for the heroes to make a move or for the next victim to show up. The Cobra doesn’t even seem all that sure herself as she struggles to decide whether she should go through with the murders or not. She hints that she may not be able to stop herself, but it’s hard to tell whether she meant that physically or just about the honor of it all. Either way, if she really wanted to settle down, not murdering the main guy’s friends would have been a good way to start. As she was a half hearted villain, I can see why she never became as big as characters Dracula or the Werewolf.

I was glad that the cops were actually pretty reasonable here as the evidence was pretty clear cut so they should agree that the new girl was the likely suspect. It did make sense after all right? Paul was definitely the best character in the film as he always suspected that there was some truth to the curse as cults would need to have someone to back them up. The way that he and Lisa handled the whole wedding arrangement admittedly lacked any form of tact or honor and came across as a little rude, but they probably hadn’t given it a whole lot of thought so they were just trying to go through the motions of being Tom’s friend even though their romance was their top concern. You will feel bad for Tom for a second, except that he went for the rebound immediately which shows that he’s the kind of guy who can move on way too quickly.

I think this film could have used a little more action. Not a whole lot happens and that’s usually okay, but a good portion of the film is spent on giving the cobra some character development, which ultimately doesn’t go anywhere. That screen time could have been better used for some fights against the Cobra. Some of the characters struggle, like throwing vases and things of the sort, but how can you not be able to outrun a Cobra? At the very least, you can manage to land a hit right? Even if the bite happens first, you can squash it…of course, that would have hurt the film’s score so it’s a double edged sword.

It should be noted that the film takes the high road with the animal violence so I have to give it kudos for that. A dog, cat, and a horse appear and they are all spared. There was one scary scene where we think that the cobra will attack the dog, but this doesn’t happen. I think the dog should have been a little braver and could have approached the cobra, but since that could have been dicey, I’m fine with this. The shaking was a bit much though and you’ll feel bad for the little guy.

Overall, Cult of The Cobra was a good film. It was probably a little more dull than some of the other retro classics, but it was still an interesting film. My favorite part of it was probably the opening scenes as that could have been expanded into a film in its own right. I wouldn’t have minded if it was about them infiltrating the cult, but that’s another plot for another film I suppose. The characters were decently developed even though you knew that they would be toast by the end. Snakes aren’t too scary compared to other monsters so this definitely won’t scare you at this point, but that’s all right. The solid music theme for the cobra will be good enough for the horror/thriller aspect. If you like these retro thrillers, then I certainly recommend it. It may not be the most exciting tale out there, but it’s fairly short and the writing is solid.

Overall 6/10

The Black Cat Review

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Have you ever seen a film that was very different from what you expected? That happened to me with this film as I just expected a completely different plot and the whole film was as radically different as any I’ve ever seen. Luckily, this was in a good way! As much as a horror film about a Black Cat knocking everyone would have been entertaining, a classic “Who Did It” murder mystery is infinitely better. Aside from one mistake, the film does quite well, but it is unfortunately a big mistake!

An old lady is near death so her family members quickly head to her mansion so that they can pick up their inheritance. If they don’t like what they receive, they are prepared to attack her if necessary. Luckily, they all receive a decent amount of money so they are pleased, but the lady announces that this only comes to pass once her maid is dead as the cats need to be taken care of. One of the family members doesn’t like this and quickly stabs her. With the old lady out of the way, the main characters must figure out who did it as the body count will only rise from here!

One difference in this film compared to the average murder mystery is that the body count isn’t actually that high. The suspense is mostly grabbed by near deaths and the ominous feeling that someone is always watching you. Also, it isn’t played completely serious as it is part comedy. Similar to another murder mystery film that I saw a while back, whose title escapes me. The light tone with the classic mystery make for a winning formula in terms of how interesting the film is.

As this film came out in the very early 1940’s, you can expect that the writing is quite good as well. That makes all the difference in any mystery title and I can almost certainly guarantee that a modern version would not be nearly as good in this area. Whether it be the subtle threats or the not to subtle ones, you just don’t see dialogue like this nowadays. The film is a little on the short side, but there’s still enough time to flesh out the characters and not have a rushed ending.

The film does a good job of making everyone look a little suspicious. There’s the main character who really reminded me of Bill Murray from Ghostbusters and Groundhog Day. Seriously, the guy looks almost identical to him complete with the voice and a similar role. He was definitely one of the best parts of the film and I’d say that he earned the role of best character. As he’s the main character, most of what we see is from his side of the story, but you can never discount the lead as they sometimes don’t tell you everything. I was rooting for him to close the deal though!

The main character’s friend is here to break things to make them more valuable in the future. He’s extremely scatter brained to the point where he can never follow a sentence and it takes him hours to realize what people knew in seconds. He was a fun character as he constantly trolled the rest of the cast and found the secret passages before anyone else. He was in danger many times, but the good part about being oblivious is that fear won’t slow you down! Naturally, he’s suspicious because you have to wonder if it is all truly an act.

Next up, we have the family of three. There’s the step son who threatens his step father several times not to break his mother’s heart as he knows that the guy is cheating with someone else. Considering the threats and how much the money would help him, it’s obvious why this guy is a suspect. Likewise, if the father is willing to cheat on his elderly wife, we don’t know what he is capable of! He definitely wants the money from the will as he constantly yells about it. Maybe he wants it for sinister purposes!

His elderly wife is always in the background and prefers to let everyone else to the talking. She keeps up the pretense of liking the old lady even though everyone else constantly insults her and just waits for her inheritance. Is it possible that she actually cares or is she just playing along to throw away suspicion from herself? There’s the main heroine who believes that no murders took place and that her family are still decent people deep down who wouldn’t cross this line. She tries to distract the main character from this train of thought several times. Is it possible that she is right or does she just want us to think that?

Rounding up the list of suspects are out final members. We have the maid who threatened that the heroes would leave the house one way or the other. Wow, that’s pretty ominous right? A bit obvious, but perhaps that’s the point to lower our guard! There’s also the grounds servant, Eduwardo. He is always listening and watching from outside and he has free reign over the place. He would certainly have the time to commit the acts and the motive as well since he received almost nothing from the will in the end. Finally, we have the old lady. Maybe she cheated death somehow by using a fake poison right?

So, we definitely have a lot of suspects. I’m glad to say that the film doesn’t cheat with the final verdict. The culprit does have a good motive and was one of the suspects so that was good. Cop outs are the one thing that you don’t want in a mystery film! The opening of the film reminded me of a Twilight Zone episode. The mask party one where the relatives all wanted the old man to die and ultimately had their true faces exposed to everyone. The opening was definitely similar and I wouldn’t be surprised if one borrowed from the other.

This film would have been an easy 7, but there was one big mistake, which really hurt it. Unfortunately, one of the cats is poisoned and died. That was a really low blow and it definitely hurt the film. At least the cat wasn’t injured as that would have been even worse, but the death still ensured that I wouldn’t be giving this film any higher than a 5. It’s just hard to recommend a film with animal violence like this at times. For a show that has over 200 episodes or a long series like that, it’s much easier, but a single film….it’s just not happening. This was the one big mistake that the film made, but boy was it a big one!

The romance angle was surprisingly nonexistent for the most part. Of course, we have the main character and heroine who are polite to each other, but it never goes anywhere which is nice and realistic. There’s also the cheating subplot, but it also doesn’t really go anywhere. I’d say that this is a good thing as those plots weren’t needed to make the film be enjoyable anyway. As it stands, most of the character personalities were enjoyable, which really helped the film.

Overall, The Black Cat was much better than I anticipated. The score was lower due to the animal violence, but otherwise it was essentially the ideal mystery. It’s short, but there are no cop outs and the writing as done quite well. The film was pretty funny without going over the top in the comedy aspect. It wasn’t much of a problem back in the day though as the humor was almost always great or you would just miss the joke, but we never saw the kind of jokes that you see in something like Pixels. The horror aspects were also handled well as you would see an ominous hand reach out to take someone down or someone’s frightened expression as they realized that they were doomed. From the classics, this one easily takes down Frankenstein and Dracula without a doubt! In pure entertainment value, this would probably beat all of the other Universal classics.

Overall 5/10

The Fly Review

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Time to take a look at a really old horror film. This came out during the good ole 1950’s, which was a fun decade for the world. Especially for movies as the Godzilla franchise started out around this time. The Fly is a fairly nice concept and it actually doesn’t go for the “Everyone gets knocked off one by one” action aspect that you would expect and plays out more like a mystery thriller. It’s not exactly the next Sonic The Hedgehog film, but the effects hold up quite well.

A lady is accused of murdering her husband and the cops get involved. Francois, her step brother, wants to believe that she didn’t really do it, but she confirms the story and the crime scene is quite telling. The detectives wonder how this could have happened and Andre decides to tell them when one character mentions that he caught a fly. She explains the story of how her husband had been working on some next gen technology, but how it all went terribly wrong and he ended up turning himself into a Human/Fly hybrid instead.

Now, there were two things wrong with this for me. Not logic holes by any means though. First, Everyone is watching The Fly because we already know about the hybrid. This shouldn’t be a twist right? Yet, once the guy turns into a fly, the film is just about over. He quickly takes himself down and then the flashback ends and everyone walks away. I’m not really sure where the film was going with this and it may have worked better if it was called “The Mystery” or something like that.

The second part is that I actually preferred the mystery angle in the present anyway. The inspector clearly knew what he was doing and I dare say that he had the edge in his conversation with Andre. He was piecing things together, but he never could have suspected something so fantastic! I was rather enjoying the plot and then the long flashback began, which took up most of the film. That wasn’t quite as interesting to be honest and we all knew what was going to happen to the main character anyway.

The Fly was actually a little more violent than I could have suspected. When the main character was destroyed under the giant press, it was surprisingly graphic and this was back in the 1950’s! Also, the ending was a little sad for one character as he couldn’t move and could only watch as he was getting bitten until he was quickly put out of his misery by the others. It was definitely a dicey scene for the guy although I applaud the effects here as it looked fairly realistic considering how long ago this came out. The effects in general were actually quite good.

As you would expect from a 1950’s film, the writing is nice and solid. The characters are all fairly interesting and engaging in the present. You’ll feel bad for the guy watching over the equipment in the first scene since he gets quite the spook when the murder happens. Again, if the whole film had just been the mystery, then I could see this easily getting an extra 2-3 stars. As it is the flashbacks hurt the film as they slowed down the pacing and weren’t quite as interesting as the main plot.

The same thing happened to Captain America, The First Avenger a while back. I loved the present plot with Captain America overpowering SHIELD and seeing New York City, but I wasn’t crazy about the flashbacks. The main reason why flashbacks have never had a lot of potential for me is that you already know the ending. Seeing how the characters get there is all well and good, but only if you have a lot of epic action scenes to go with it. For a film like The Fly where you’re just watching someone’s day to day events until the end of the flashback…it takes away any form of intrigue or suspense that the film could have had. Watching The Fly return in the present and decide to rule the world, now that’s a twist that I could have gotten behind!

The Fly could have made for a decent villain, but we never got to see his final form. As a scientist, he was a decent character. A little generic perhaps, but a fun guy all the same. It’s just too bad that he didn’t have any more will power at his disposal or he could have really made a difference in the world! I also didn’t like the fact that he tested his invention out on the cat. That’s a really bad move if you ask me and it made me lose all of my respect for the guy. No matter how chipper he can be, we now know that he is willing to do anything for his experiments.

Overall, The Fly was a decent horror at times, but it just didn’t do anything for me. The final scene was pretty tragic and bordered on animal violence, but the effects were definitely really good and one of the highlights of the film. As this is an old film, the writing is pretty solid and I think that the show has potential. If you are looking for a classic horror movie, then this may be up your ally. If you are scared of giant flies or mysterious looking creatures, then you may want to back up now!

Overall 4/10

The Curse of Frankenstein Review

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If you thought that the Dracula film was bad, just wait until you see this film! Hammer Film Productions definitely seems to be slipping when it comes to horror films. This is their weakest installment yet and I fear for whatever sequels may follow this one. Frankenstein’s never been a likable concept for me and this film won’t help that. Rather than scare you, this will simply leave you dissatisfied.

Frankenstein starts off the story in prison and tells a priest about how he got here. He was a scientist who was rich and he convinced his mentor to dabble in the ways of science together. It was all innocent and fun at first, but then Frankenstein decided that he wanted to be able to create life. To do this, he would have to rob many graves and even murder people so that he could get the parts that he needed. His partner backed off at this point, but nothing could stop Frankenstein until he finally created a monster!

Where to start with this one right? Well, the main big negative is the fact that it’s incredibly violent and gruesome. Seriously, we’re talking Daredevil levels of violence at some points as you see a lot of body parts as Frankenstein assembles them and it’s all very gruesome and gross. It may be old so the effects aren’t great, but it’s still rather bad and one character’s head is even cut off. We don’t see it as we only see from Frankenstein’s shoulders and up as he is cutting, but it’s still a really bad scene and just keeps on hurting a film that wouldn’t have been any good anyway.

As explained, Frankenstein is a really bad character. He’s essentially insane and a very cruel person. His partner is supposed to be the likable character, but he wasn’t. Rather than reporting the acts of murder and grave robbing, the partner just stays silent. He even leaves the house, but decides to come back and tempt fate for no real reason at that point. In the final battle, he decides to run off and grab some help instead of staying to fight the monster. You can see why he did it based on what happened in the first round, but it’s still a dicey situation since the heroine could have gotten injured.

The heroine’s portrayal isn’t too good as she is here thanks to an arranged marriage from when she was a child. She claims that this doesn’t matter and even though she has never seen Frankenstein before, she will love him. As the partner says, she’s mixing up gratitude for love. (As Frankenstein provided for her family since she was a child) She also acts like less of an equal to Frankenstein and more of an underling as she even allows the husband to have an area that is off limits to her. That’s something that would be absurd in a current movie and the partner kept hinting that Frankenstein was doing something hideous in there so she should have gone in sooner.

There’s also a rather unnecessary subplot where Frankenstein decides to cheat on his fiance/future wife with a maid for no real reason. Then he dumps her when he feels like it and she is naturally killed off by the monster. It’s just another scene to show us how cruel Frankenstein is, but we already got the memo on that so this scene was really just fluff. The ending is supposed to be the scene of comupence for Frankenstein as we see that justice has finally caught up, but it’s at the expense of making the partner look bad once again. Essentially, he just visited Frankenstein to rub the whole thing in his face and lie by omission to ensure that Frankenstein was doomed.

It’s a very grim ending to a grim film. Dracula and Frankenstein’s movies were both rather solemn, but at least Dracula was light hearted some of the time and The Mummy was fun most of the time. This film didn’t really have any good moments once Frankenstein became an adult. It’s too bad because the beginning had some slight potential, but then everything went downhill at breakneck speed.

As for the monster, he is made to look as ugly and broken as possible to hammer in the fact that he’s a monster. The problem is that they also make him look like a slave and you feel bad for the monster. It has no idea what its doing and it is forced to obey commands before it is shot more than once and things never go its way. It destroys anyone who comes close, but its effectively mindless so it’s like a wild animal attacking someone. The monster is not a likable character by any means, but the whole plot is just sad.

I’m really glad that this film wasn’t quite up to the feat of being 2 hours or longer. As it is, the film started to get tiresome very quickly and I’m not sure how much longer it could have kept plummeting down the well before critics would start giving it awards for being the worst film of the year. Another negative for me would be that the victims are very distasteful in this film. The monster goes after a blind, old man. Seriously? What’s the point of making the victim so helpless already. It just makes the scene even more distasteful. Another victim is an old man who is thrown off of a high floor and quickly dies. Frankenstein fools the guy’s colleagues of course and the only person who knows the truth decides not to stop him.

Overall, This is a film that you should skip at all costs. It’s definitely one of the worst films that I’ve seen and I’ve seen quite a few stinkers in my day. This one just makes almost every mistake that it can possibly bump into except for the animal violence and we did see a dead animal before it was brought back to life, which would mildly count as there is no real reason to having it there. The very plot/concept was doomed from the start and the excessive violence plus the distasteful deaths sank it even deeper into the pits of infinity and beyond. At least this reminds me why the classic monsters have nothing on the modern ones like the Teletubbies. What we need, is a reboot of the film with the tone of Avengers mixed in with the guest star power of Pixels. So long as it is created correctly, that is a film that could have some potential. Perhaps, a lot of potential! They would just need to change the concept a little, maybe make Frankenstein a robot or something and skip the whole grave robbing plot along with the rest of the plots. Until then, if you want to watch a good horror film, check out Scooby Doo Zombie Island!

Overall 0/10

Horror of Dracula Review

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Time to look at another Dracula film! Dracula has always been my least favorite of the classic monster legends. Yes…he’s less enjoyable for me than Frankenstein! I didn’t have high hopes for this film, but it was an old one so maybe it would be good. Alas, it wasn’t to be. The film made all of the mistakes that you would expect of it aside from animal violence. While I am grateful about the last part, it’s not enough to save the whole film.

Mr. Harker heads to Dracula’s lair to end the vampire once and for all. Little did he know that the mission was doomed to fail right from the start. Dracula is simply too powerful and with his telekinesis..there is really nothing that a mere mortal can do. Van Helsing realizes that Harker has been gone for a long time and decides to take out Dracula himself. Can he really beat the vampire or will everyone have to die first?

The film is surprisingly violent so you should be ready for a large body count. Characters are impaled and naturally bitten as this is a vampire film. It’s why I will never be able to get into Vampire films since blood sucking is essentially inevitable. If a 50’s version of Dracula is this violent, you can imagine how gruesome the latter ones are. Dracula takes no prisoners and simply creates more and more vampires whenever he fights.

I will give the film some credit for actually doing a good job of making you think that Mr. Harker actually stands a chance. He’s very confident and puts on a good poker face when talking to Dracula. His mistake was letting his feelings get in the way of his mission. He should have found it a little suspicious that there was a girl who wouldn’t tell him much, yet she still wanted to bypass the friend zone with him. Sadly, Mr. Harker is like the average film protagonist in the sense that he just doesn’t care. It certainly came back to bite him.

Vampires are typically weak against Garlic, Sunlight, and the sign of the Cross. It depends on the version, but all three are effective in this version and they are the best way to fight them off. Van Helsing uses all three, but he forgets them for the final battle so we get to see a quick fist fight. As with most classic monsters, Dracula likes to resort to the classic choking attack to take the heroes down for the count. It proves to be a bit of a mistake as it always gives the heroes a little extra time to prepare themselves.

Dracula doesn’t have a whole lot of personality and it seems like he just wants to make everyone miserable and suck as much blood as possible. His character had potential in the opening scenes, but then he quickly went off the deep end and became a villain who simply needed to be stopped. I suppose that’s all the character that he really needs, but it doesn’t make me care for him as an antagonist.

Mr. Harker was a decent lead, but his one mistake was a huge one and made him look like a rookie. How can you let yourself get bitten? Howwwwwwww! Van Helsing is more prepared than Mr. Harker, but he loves to be vague. Instead of rushing over to challenge Dracula, he likes to have some bait ready and it always cooking up a scheme that will allow him to approach the vampire from a defensive standpoint. Helsing is smart, but not overly brave and he could have reduced the body count if he had been upfront with the other characters from the start.

He certainly doesn’t deserve all of the blame though as the rest of the characters look pretty bad as well. Dracula’s victims aren’t able to fight their urges nor are they able to defend themselves so Dracula easily manages to take them out. If you know that you’re about to die anyway, you may as well through a good punch or something. It’ll look good on the stat sheet.

The first vampire lady to appear was rather odd on that front. She asked Harker to help her and then she attacked him. That’s not a very effective way to get someone to help and then Dracula defeated her. I assume that her lust for blood was just too powerful, but that still makes her look terrible. If you want to escape, then that should give you enough motivation to escape instead of going back and forth with the decisions. Ah well, that’s why her mission ultimately failed.

The beginning of the film with Mr. Harker was the best part and I feel like the whole film would have been better off if it had followed his plot a little more. Spending 80% of the film as a mystery thriller with him would have been epic. He would have had to die at some point anyway, but that would be the climax and the rest of the film would have still been fairly epic. Fans who went in expecting Dracula to get a big role would have been disappointed, but it would have all been worth it for the epic intro.

Dracula doesn’t look very tough in this version. I would still choose him over The Mummy in a fight as their physical abilities are more or less equal, but Dracula has the speed edge. Beyond that, I have a feeling that bullets would hurt him in this version as he didn’t seem all too sturdy. If he really cannot turn into a bat as Helsing believes, that also hurts his retreat options. The humans could have beaten Dracula if they knew any good judo tricks. Running up to Dracula and throwing a punch is simply not going to cut it here.

Overall, Dracula doesn’t manage to be as entertaining as the Mummy film. It’s short, but it’s still just pretty bad. The violence was a little over the top and you’ll just be reminded of why vampire films are no fun. The bitemarks are always a little gross and the concept of blood sucking is rather sad as well. Dracula Untold managed to avoid all of that for the most part and if you want to watch a film with the legend, check that one out instead. This one is best left in the relics of yesterday as it is forgotten while in the shadow of the original. Of course, this film did get 8 sequels…which is very intriguing. The legacy did not die here!

Overall 2/10

The Mummy (1959) Review

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It’s time to look at another take on The Mummy franchise! I’ve seen quite a few Mummy films at this point and he’s probably my favorite horror icon when compared to the other classics like the Werewolf, Dracula, and Frankenstein. The Mummy isn’t as strong as Dracula or potentially the Werewolf, but he defeats his opponents in more honorable ways. Slow and steady is typically how you want to fight against opponents and that’s just how The Mummy works. This film was actually decently good.

A few guys wander into a tomb and find a mysterious scroll. It activates the Mummy and puts one of the characters into a coma. Three years later, the old man wakes up and warns the main character that the Mummy will destroy them all. John essentially chuckles at this and heads back home, but he may have underestimated the message. The Mummy begins to systematically take the heroes down and John will have to think of a way to take it down once and for all!

The film plays out like you would expect it too. The Mummy formula is classic and the heroes can only wait for their ultimate demise, but I do appreciate the fact that John tries to fight back. He locks himself up in the study and prepared himself with some blunt objects. The Mummy easily chokes him, but the important part is that he tried. Luckily, he is saved by Isobel twice. The Mummy’s eyesight is failing so he believes that he recognizes her and decides to stop his attack on John. Man, John may have been the big hero in the film, but he definitely couldn’t get the job done when it counted.

The Mummy actually isn’t Imhotep this time, but a guy named Kharis instead. It doesn’t actually make a difference in the end, but it’s worth noting. You may even feel bad for the Mummy by the end since he can barely comprehend what is happening and he just wanted to be reunited with his love once more. Instead, he is simply used the entire time and doesn’t get to be friends with anyone. What a sad way to go. At least he got to show off his slight degree of super strength as the film went on and he used his patented choke attack on everyone.

I didn’t really have any big problems with the film. It all played out fairly well. This isn’t exactly the most exciting film though and it maybe dragged on a little at times, but never that much. It was a fairly short film after all so it’s not like any of the scenes went on forever. I do think that the calm before the storm scenes could maybe be a little dull at times, but it’s a minor issue and not something that would actually hurt the film.

The characters are a little bland, but not bad. John is a decent hero and I do appreciate the fact that he takes the initiative. He enters the home of the suspect who may be plotting to destroy him and he does it very casually with some veiled threats the whole time. That was a fun part in the movie as John wasn’t even pretending to be polite. He was openly insulting the villain and everything that the guy believed in. John is nothing if not bold after all. While the visit didn’t help him all that much, it did utterly prove that the villain was responsible for the Mummy. John succeeded as a secret agent!

Isobel didn’t have much of a role before we found out that she looked like the old Princess. She was able to trick the Mummy that way, but it was mostly accidental and she ended up fainting from the excitement so I can’t say that she was a great character. The Inspector was fun, but he was out of his league the whole time. It was very humorous to see just how unprepared he was the whole time. He really did not act like much of an inspector.

The climax was a lot of fun as a result though. The Inspector had hired several men to protect John, but they were no match. Not against the Mummy, but against the Mummy’s assistant! The human actually ends up taking just about all of them down, which was the funny part. It’s seriously not something that you would have expected. The hired guns just forgot to keep their ears alert for any signs of danger. The climax is more sad than funny though as the Mummy is shot to pieces by the trained professionals. The Swamp helped the intrigue factor I suppose.

Mehemet was the main human villain. He’s fairly generic and prays to a large statue of a cat god. Mehemet is very sensitive about people poking fun at his beliefs and he decides to destroy all of the main characters because they desecrated the tomb. It’s an interesting point of whether we should really be grave robbing or not. Essentially, that’s what is being done when people open tombs right? I actually agree with him that we shouldn’t be doing that because it is just like breaking into someone’s grave. It was his only valid point, but the guy naturally went off the deep end instead of going into that point a little more.

Granted, I doubt that John would have even considered the notion of stopping. He was way too interested in the new findings and didn’t seem to have any doubts about the moral ambiguity of what he was doing. John just wanted to win the fight at that point and he was looking for clues to do so. Luckily, the hero didn’t bring a dog over to the villain’s place like last time, which immediately gave this film an advantage over the original.

This Mummy film certainly beat the original one. I’m not sure how it stacks up against the 1999 version as it’s been a while, but I’m tempted to say that it may beat that one. It’s a tough bout of course, but I’d say that the main character here may be a little more likable. I still can’t get over how he casually went up to the main villain and started trash talking him. That was definitely classic. I was also glad that the heroes left Egypt right away so we got to go to a more city like environment for the duration of the film. Definitely a good move on their part.

Overall, The Mummy was a good film. It was actually better than I had anticipated since these classic Hollywood monsters don’t always have the greatest of reputations. Just wait until I review the Frankenstein film..heh heh heh. The characters are good and the writing is naturally solid as well. While the climax is a little more emotional than intended, this makes for a fun retro film to watch. It’s interesting to see how different the Mummy was back then. Watch a modern version of it and you’ll notice the differences. The new one is made to be more of an action blockbuster, while this one is more subdued. It’s also very short as I mentioned earlier so you’ll breeze through it.

Overall 6/10

The Lazarus Effect Review

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Gee…I wonder who the main villain of this film is. Even if you haven’t seen the trailer, there are only so many actresses on the poster who look like the character in the center right? You can guess between the two actresses listed and it should be easy to guess correctly. This is a modern horror film that I actually saw the trailer a while back. I knew that it would be terrible, but I saw it to see if I could at least drag some good feats out of this. I wasn’t disappointed!

A group of scientists decide that they will bring things back to life against the school’s orders. They succeed in bringing a dog back to life, but then some corporate white collars decide to shut down the project. The “heroes” laugh this off and try to make another experiment, but someone forgot to pay General Electric so a spark is sent off and destroys one of the characters. They bring her back to life, but…she seems different. She seems…evil!!!!!? (Shocker!)

My hunches are typically right when it comes to a film being good or bad. I can usually tell if I will like it or not based on a single trailer. Not a teaser, but the full thing. That being said, you still have to be careful to go in with an open mind, but this film makes it easy for you since there’s animal violence within seconds of minutes of the film starting so I was able to confirm my theory. It may sound strange to watch a film that you know will be terrible, but it’s actually not uncommon.

See, the best reason to watch a film is to enjoy it. After that, another very legitimate reason is to just watch the film for feats. This way, I can add the fighters to this site someday in the battle section. A final reason that I watch films for at times is just to appreciate the dialogue as well as the banter between characters. If a film’s script is really good, I can at least have a few chuckles as I get ready to write my negative review. I do the same thing for video games. (minus the third option since there is almost never any banter in video games) Based on the poster/dvd cover, I knew that the villain would have some good super powers. After all, villains in horror films are always overpowered and typically have a range of attacks like reality warping and teleportation.

One of the ways that this film went wrong was the fact that it has way too many jump scares. Seriously, when you show us a vague object in the background and start speeding up the music as the scene gets darker and darker, everyone and their pet bird knows that a jump scare is about to happen. You’re taking the scare out of the jump. Every jump scene here is utterly predictable and you’ll just be laughing. Actually, this is a Great film to watch in a group as you try to poke fun at it the whole time. Seeing the Mystery Theater 3000 tackle this would likely be very entertaining. There’s just so much material to work with here.

An obvious negative here is the animal violence issue. It feels like I have to mention this in every single horror movie and it must be a trope of some kind. Naturally, the dog dies. It’s so unnecessary and disturbing. The fact that the heroes are bringing things back to life also ensures that you see quite a few dead animals throughout the film and this movie was doomed from early on. However, it brings me to a nice topic of discussion that many philosophers and scientists still debate. As far as I’m concerned there is no debate, but I’ve seen this question asked several times in real life and the answers that other people give are always sad. They always seem to believe that the end justifies the means.

The characters are all fine with experimenting on animals. When the main character decides to finally try a human everyone immediately starts to back up. “Experimenting on animals is okay, but a human..humans are real!” is essentially what the characters try to say. For many people, animals don’t have rights and anything is fair game. If killing 10 animals means that you will save 100 humans, a lot of people would jump on board in an instant. If you were to rephrase the question so it’s 10 lives against 100, people would still go for it, but there would be many more who would simply find it preposterous. It’s a very sad train of logic that I’ve always disagreed with right from the start. The fact that all the characters believe this just makes it all the more sad.

The other topic to tackle relates to one of the final sane lines by the main villain. Zoe asks why she was sent to Hell over one mistake when she tried to make up for it by doing good things for her whole life. That’s an incredibly easy one to answer, good works are not enough to send you into Heaven. You can lead the nicest life imaginable. You can fight in wars and save hundreds of people or always put others first and help out whenever possible, but you still won’t go to Heaven if you haven’t accepted Jesus Christ into your life. It’s a concept that many people cannot wrap their heads around and the outcome is quite sad, but unavoidable. It’s tough to think that you could be a great person and it will not make a difference, but we are all sinners and don’t have the power to save ourselves. Zoe found this out the hard way and now she’s working on bringing as many people down as possible. Considering how all of the other main characters act, it shouldn’t be difficult.

To Zoe, Hell is essentially reliving her worst moment in life over and over again. I don’t see this being very far fetched as that could certainly be what Hell is like. Hell is simply unbearably bad. So, whatever hurts you the most emotionally and physically will be what happens there. It’s why Hell is a truly scary place and it’s never ending. Another difficult concept to grasp, but one that you must as it will really affect how you live each and every day. You will certainly treasure each day on Earth as you realize what a privilege it is to live in such a pleasant world even if it’s far from perfect.

It almost goes without saying that I couldn’t stand any of the characters by the way. We have the average teenager who smokes a lot and is constantly making crude and inappropriate comments. He was terrible. The main character believes that experimenting on animals is okay and he doesn’t seem to think too highly of the dog’s intelligence. His final scenes are also terrible and he’s unlikable. Zoe essentially cracks and we find out that Hell broke her and turned her evil. While that may not be her fault as she is insane for the final part of the film, it doesn’t help her become a good character although she is a threatening villain. The intern seemed out of her depth the whole time as she tried to fit in and the final member of the group didn’t really have any character.

The script is one of the things that prevented any of the characters from being likable as they were constantly swearing. It’s to be expected as horror films in general have some of the worst reputations when it comes to the script. The characters will swear whenever they are surprised, upset, or excited, which is constantly. While it’s not the worst writing that I’ve seen, it’s certainly down there and hurts the film once again.

At the very least, Zoe is a strong villain. She seems to have some reality warping skills as she can literally send you to Hell. She has high speed regeneration, possibly some kind of body snatching ability, super speed, telekinesis, super strength, and much more. As with most horror villains, she can essentially do whatever she wants including turning off the lights with her mind. How spooky right? For films like this, you’re essentially watching to see how she destroys everyone in whatever gruesome ways she can imagine. No worries though, all of the bodies are somehow kept intact for the twist ending.

You do know that there is a twist ending right? All horror films are basically required to have one and this is no exception. How one guy’s body survived being in a metal container that was crumpled up is beyond our wildest imagination, but I’m sure that Zoe has a power to help with that. She also has a large blood supply so that she can give some to everyone that wants to have powers without wearing herself out. Must come back to that high speed regeneration eh? As with most twist endings, we can assume that humanity was ultimately destroyed.

Overall, This was a pretty terrible movie, but at least it was predictable. It followed the horror stereotyped and formula to a T. You can probably guess just about everything ahead of time. “Will ____ die DReager?” “I’ll do you one better Bill, they’re all going to die and at least one of them will be in a Man of Steel way” “Right on Reager!” Now, just copy and paste that answer to every single horror film where there’s one villain up against a group of teenagers and you’ve got yourself the correct answer. If horror films where you get to see really unlikable characters destroyed by a villain that they cannot even begin to fight against are your thing, then you’ll love this film. Just try to get past the animal violence and the poor script. Meanwhile, I’d recommend watching Scooby Doo Zombie Island if you want a movie that has more heart. On the bright side, I did like the corporate agents who came in and owned the main characters without breaking a sweat.

Overall 1/10

The Swarm Review

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O ENXAME
This film definitely came out a good while ago. Whether you’ve heard of the film by name or not, you’ll likely be familiar with the concept. For some reason, a film about bees attacking the world just seems like something that you’ve heard before. It’s not a concept that will excite you and the film certainly doesn’t do that. This is a classic that has not aged very well.

Dr. Crane is found at a government installation and all of the agents are dead. The officials fear that enemy agents managed to break in, but Dr. Crane admits that it was actually the bees. Nobody believes him for a little while, but they are forced to realize the truth when more cities are attacked. The bees have launched a war against humanity and Dr. Crane says that they have been planning the war for some time now. The heroes will have to be careful about how they handle this because they will be doomed if other insects join the fight against the humans.

The film is very long so it likes to take time to develop the scenes. That’s not a good thing since it means that simple actions like taking a walk can drag on for quite a while. The opening scene where the agents find the dead men lying around takes at least 5 minutes before they call in the backup. By the end of the film, you’ll have wondered why the heroes are losing to bees instead of remembering what the plot is.

My main problem with the film would actually just be the fact that I don’t like the concept. It’s always been a little gross to see humans covered by insects and that means that none of the action scenes are enjoyable. The Bees are also animals and while animal violence doesn’t apply to them too much, it’s still not going to really help the film in the long run. That’s why a film can only be as good as its concept and this concept had a lot of limits to it.

There’s also a lot of plot hax as the bees are basically immune to everything and nearly impossible to stop. We get a few twists and the heroes think of a plan at the end of the film, but the death count is incredibly high. Hundreds of thousands of people died against the bees so it really was like a real war. If the Bees can do that much damage to us….imagine what the flies can do! It should be noted that the Bees were actually Super Bees who could destroy the average human in 2-3 stings. That’s why the heroes were so defenseless against the creatures.

This film is incredibly old so there’s no real soundtrack. That being said, we still get a really emotional death scene where a scientist realizes what he has to do to stop the bees. The only downside is that he must die to test out his serum. The guy decided to take a large dose of venom and by the time he applied the antidote, it was too late. The scene is supposed to be really sad, but the scientist just acted so unintelligent that it’s hard to buy the emotion. He should have had an assistant with him and he shouldn’t have started the dosage up at such a high level. His sacrifice was essentially in vain.

I do like the determination that the army had as they went into this fight. The commander always talks a good game and he didn’t make the mistake of underestimating the opponents. That being said, he was forced to defer to Mr. Crane on this war, which meant that he couldn’t actually go through with the war efforts that he wanted to try. Both Mr. Crane’s and the commander’s tactics proved to be useless anyway so it wasn’t a big loss, but he was much more interesting than the main character.

Mr. Crane wasn’t a bad main character by any means, but he may have been a little naive. He persisted in waiting out the Bees even when the casualties were steadily rising. He really had no plan to stop them for a while and the losses shouldn’t have been acceptable to him. Worrying about the environment is good, but America was getting close to being destroyed, he needed to act sooner. His possible romance subplot was also rather iffy and not integral to the plot…it was just there to be there.

There’s a little kid in this film who helps to doom his fellow students as he launches an attack on the bees. It was one of those emotional subplots that we didn’t need. While he did a good job of taking down a lot of Bees, he should have known that they would retaliate. The citizens are partially to blame since they had quite a bit of time to get inside, but many of them were still caught unprepared. After the first traumatic attack, I’d imagine that everyone would be especially careful not to be outside too long.

There’s also a subplot where two guys are flirting with an old lady. With all of these subplots, it’s no wonder why the film was so long right? This was mainly just filler and some levity likely intended to take your mind off of the somber Bee plot. The moral is essentially that both guys should have just been satisfied to stay in the friend zone. It would have saved them a lot of grief and they wouldn’t have had to become enemies through their fight over the lady.

At least the writing is all fairly good in the Swarm as this was back in the 1970’s. The characters mostly sound distinguished and Mr. Crane is constantly trying to out think the government. It is hinted that he allowed the Bees to destroy the military base without trying to warn any of the guards and that adds some tension to the equation. I still love the classic dialogue from these olden films and the English language is still my favorite because of how smart and quick it sounds.

It was a little surprising to see some of the victims of the Bees. I wasn’t expecting a good number of the school children to die, but I suppose that it was left in since it wasn’t a violent death. (On screen anyway) It’s too bad that they couldn’t escape though since they didn’t really need to add to the body count. It was already so high by that point. We did get some decent action scenes at the end as the humans grabbed their flame throwers, but they were doomed from the start. There are millions of bees after all and a quick sting is enough to take the fight out of the humans. The Bees even start to give you visions of a giant bee that wants to sting you. Their abilities are certainly fierce!

Overall, The Swarm really isn’t my kind of film. If you want to see how humans would fare against the Bees, then you should like this film. If you buy into Crane’s theory that they are out to get us, then it’ll be even more fun for you as the Bees strategically take down base after base. The film is really dragged out though and it just isn’t that much fun to watch. The Bees don’t work as antagonists for me and while Dr. Crane and the government agents are decent, there are no really good characters. Even the climax may not be all that exciting for you. This is a film to pass and I doubt that it will scare you either as it feels more like a comedy than a horror at times.

Overall 3/10