Tag Archives: Keanu Reeves

Johnny Mnemonic Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those sci-fi films that is really all over the place. It’s a dystopia but definitely not the most interesting one out there. I do like that corporate is basically the big villain in all of this but even then I wouldn’t say that it is the big win you might be hoping that it is. That’s just not enough to carry the film and so this won’t be remembered as one of the better sci-fi titles.

Our main character is Johnny and his job is to transport confidential information around. With the internet being incredibly compromised, people rely on humans to traffic the data like this. Johnny puts it in his head and then gives it to the client. He wants out of this gig, but his partner tells him that he will need to do one last job first. The problem is that this latest job has a data size that is way above Johnny’s specs. There is just no way that he can process all of this. So what is he going to do? Well Johnny figures he’ll download it anyway and it should be fine. Unfortunately this job isn’t as straight forward as it appeared and now he’s on the run from the Yakuza. He has a bodyguard named Jane helping him but she is not in the best shape. Yeah this is gonna be rough.

Right from the jump Johnny’s decision is just really dumb here. I know that he’s in a hurry to get out of the business but downloading something into his brain that can’t fit just seems like an easy trip to the grave. It’s not a brave or smart thing to do, it’s just plain dumb. A really foolish move and he is counting on the fact that he doesn’t just die instantly from this. He has a few hours before the brain leakage goes too far but any form of brain leakage obviously brings some risks along with it. So yeah this was a bad idea.

Then Johnny’s partner is super shady from the start so it comes as no surprise to find out that he’s involved with the craziness too. First rule of Dystopias is not to trust anybody. Johnny ends up working with Jane out of necessity but it’s not like he can trust her either. She is very strong and capable but gets a severe case of the shakes all the time. That puts her in a really rough spot for any professional gigs so she is also desperate enough to work with a shady fellow like Johnny. Surely there is no way any romance could bloom out of this right? That would just be poor writing.

It just feels like the story is already pretty forced from the jump with Johnny getting into this mess. There’s just no way he should have stuffed his mind and surely he could have found another job. The people giving him the data also seemed very ill prepared for the villains who showed up later on. You’d think that they would have been more prepared. Ah well, Johnny does his best but I wouldn’t say that he is the most interesting lead character.

Jane is okay and I would even say that the shakes aren’t as bad as the film treats them. Jane’s very first scene has her crushing another bodyguard so clearly she is still strong enough to take out the average fighter. Should shaking really be such a big deal? It feels like in most cases she would still be able to get along just fine even if she will need some breaks here and there. Well, at least she does well as the body guard.

The most interesting villain is the Preacher. He’s a complete nutjob who is a hitman that likes to quote the scriptures the whole time. A real twisted guy but he’s also just such a random addition to the film. Corporate hires him whenever they desperately need some action but the idea that this huge company needs to resort to this is pretty funny. The corporation has so much unbelievable power at their disposal and they still need a secret hitman? It’s not like this is a one time thing either, from the conversation it sounds like they summon him from time to time.

Then for all the hype the Preacher gets, the heroes just run him over during their first encounter. Way to ruin the hype right? It was a very questionable decision as soon as it happened. Preacher does return and gets his share of victims but you still keep remembering the first moment. Naturally the film can get a bit violent so keep that in mind if you’re the squeamish type. The film isn’t holding back with how dark the future gets after all so this is not for the faint of heart.

We also meet a friend of Jane’s, The Spider. This guy doesn’t really like the future. He thinks that things should be done without all the electronics everywhere and he tries to be old school. He was entertaining so I appreciated that. The guy was constantly upset about everything and would really speak his mind. More characters like him could have made the film more interesting. I also did like one of the main villains, Shinji. He had a cool energy whip that could cut through nearly anything. It made him a very deadly fighter and the weapon just looks cool in action. He certainly gets his share of hits in.

I do think the film had some potential here but it’s all convoluted without being super interesting. I like a good mystery and sci-fi babble but it just doesn’t always go anywhere. We have a plot with a lady in the screen with ties to Johnny’s past, a resistance that has been around for a while, and both of those elements don’t appear as much as you would think. It’s the kind of title that has a whole lot of world building and character development behind the scenes but we just don’t get to see it. It probably would have worked better as a full on series.

I would also say that as a future story it should have embraced the fun sci-fi elements a bit more. Bring in more cool weapons like Shinji’s energy whip. Johnny isn’t a super fighter or anything like that so it would make sense for him to be carrying something instead of having to hope that he can deal with these guys in hand to hand combat. When you’re dealing with the future it’s not like you need to stick to some pre-existing ideas.

Overall, I think the film could have been better but it’s not nearly as interesting as you would expect. The film could even be a bit dull at times. The idea of people carrying information in their brains is interesting and dare I even say realistic? I could totally see that being the case in the future. Corporate as the villain was also a good idea but it just goes to show that you need more than ideas. You need proper execution! If you want a good sci-fi film, you should definitely check out something like Sword Art Online instead.

Overall 4/10

The Night Before Review

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It’s time for a comedy title that gets a little serious so you can almost think about it like a dark comedy at times. It’s got some Twilight Zone vibes to it as well and it makes for an intriguing start. The problem is that as the mystery gets unraveled, the film gets weaker and weaker. So by the end I’m afraid that this film definitely gets the thumbs down. I like the concept but would have definitely approached it differently.

The movie starts off with a drunk Winston wandering around through the night. How did he gets here and what is going on? His memory is all in a daze. He quickly realizes 3 things. 1. He was on the way to prom with a girl named Tara but she’s missing so he needs to find her. 2. A gangster named Tito wants to beat him up for some reason so he needs to stay low. 3. His dad’s car has been hijacked and he needs it back. It’s hard to say how all of this could have happened to him but Winston better move fast because he needs to get Tara back home before her father notices.

Here’s the thing with memory loss cases like this, in most situations it means that the guy was drinking which is what caused this lapse in memory. Well, unfortunately that is exactly what happened here. Winston decided to have a drink at a super seedy place which wasn’t smart and the drink was spiked with drugs so he was out for a while. He makes tons and tons of mistakes throughout the film. He’s just not very smart at all and is like one of those characters out of dumb and dumber.

At first when we’re introduced to Tara you feel like she’s being way too mean to Winston. It’s uncalled for how much she is berating him and everything but by the end of the film you get it. This guy is in way over his head and has no idea what to do. Everyone keeps on suckering him over and over too. The way Winston loses the car was particularly bad but same for how he let Tara’s card and wallet get stolen. Basically if there was a way to mess up then he would. It’s a comedy film so you are expecting him to mess up a lot but it tends to be less in a charismatic way and more in an annoying status. You’re not rooting for him quite as much as you’re supposed to.

The guy even lets himself get dragged into a quick affair with another lady who was hanging around which doesn’t speak well to Winston’s loyalty. I don’t feel like he’s a very responsible individual and if anything he is just getting everyone into trouble the whole time. Definitely a thumbs down for that guy all the way. Tara was way more fun. Yes, she can be mean but she is a lot tougher and gets things done. She gives attitude to all of the characters without any remorse.

Winston tries to make a speech about how Tara is spoiled at the end but I’d argue that she is fairly down to Earth. She certainly has more street smarts than he had. Ultimately, the trouble she got into was basically unavoidable compared to Winston’s situations where he was the one making the mistakes. If anything she did well to keep her composure and everything considering what was happening. Her plot of being sold off from person to person was a bit dark for the film though. Using that kind of a plot point for tension as to why Winston needs to save her quickly is always a bit much.

It’s also the film’s excuse to have a lot of fanservice squeezed in at one point. The film could have taken the high road but opted not to. The shame is that there are a lot of scenes in the film that are actually really funny. Scenes that will have you grin a little and the over the top nature of the moments can work really well. Like when a crazy guy shows up and reaches into Winston’s pocket to steal his wallet. I loved how direct the guy was. He just wanted the wallet and wasn’t hesitating about it. The rough neighborhood was just as rough as it looked. The fact that there wasn’t a twist was almost the twist in itself. No moment where it turns out everyone’s just super nice and everything. Nah, this was just the heroes making a bunch of wrong turns.

The ending is definitely not satisfying though. It goes in the direction I would have preferred that it avoided because it doesn’t really make sense in this context. After everything that went on, only the opposite answer would have made any sense. At least if you ask me, that’s how I see it. It also deprives us of a funny ending where the father chases Winston around or something like that.

So in the end I generally enjoyed the scenes with Tara bashing Winston and Winston running around getting into trouble. I didn’t really care for where Tara’s plot went from there and of course the whole climax is more of a thumbs down. So this was a bit of a mixed bag but my main thing is, would I watch this by myself or recommend it to anybody? The answer to both questions is no so that’s the end of that.

Overall, The Night Before is an interesting film and one that has a lot of good humor thrown into the mix. It can definitely bring on some good laughs but at times it can also just be really annoying. I thought Winston got off way too easily considering how many mistakes he made. If you ask me, he should have lost in the end and there’s no way Tara should like the guy. You don’t have to go with the cheesy Hollywood ending when you’re a comedy film. It would have been so much funnier if she basically told him to get lost at that point. I don’t even think it would be mean spirited, it would just make sense if anything considering everything that just happened.

Overall 4/10

Bill & Ted Face the Music Review

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It’s time for the next Bill & Ted movie to jump in. That being said, I would have to say that it is the weakest one in the series. The main mistake if you ask me is that it doesn’t focus on Bill & Ted enough and they are still the best characters in the film. The subplot of their daughters running around assembling a team feels a lot weaker in comparison. The film will still have a good amount of funny moments to keep you going but you do feel like it is just missing something that the first two had.

The movie starts with Bill and Ted in a bit of a jam. They have not been able to create the legendary song that will stop the universe from blowing up and now they only have a few hours left. They figure their only chance is to travel to the future where their future selves have already created the song and then steal it from them. It’s a pretty clever plan that might just work. While they’re gone, Billie and Thea decide to help out as well. So they go across time to grab the best musicians from across the multiverse so when Bill and Ted find the song, they will have the best people playing it. The only thing standing in their way is Dennis, a Terminator type robot from the future who is doing his best to try and destroy them. A single blast is all it would take so they need to try and stay one step ahead of him or it’s all over.

Now the films have always been more on the comedic side and lean on being as absurd as possible but the first two films did still have more of a sense of danger about them. For example we already had evil doppelganger androids on the prowl. They were actually kind of serious and did effectively take out the main duo. Dennis is a major step down because the guy has big confidence issues and always doubts himself. Sure he can fight and use the lasers but he’s not proud about that. He would rather not be in the limelight and so he spends the whole film doing a lot of whining. He’s got to be the most annoying character here.

Then I would say Kelly isn’t a great replacement for Rufus. She tries to help the heroes out and spends most of the film using the “I told you so!” approach but she doesn’t have his charisma. In general she just doesn’t feel quite as on top of things. She is younger so that makes sense to an extent but you’re already seeing how all of the angles are just a bit weaker than the first two films. This continues with Billie and Thea.

So in theory these two characters exist to futureproof the series. They could take over the reigns if Bill and Ted get too old or the movies have a hard time getting the actors back. The problem is that they are so heavily introduced as being just like Bill and Ted that they don’t have much going for them. Their banter and dynamic certainly doesn’t match the original’s and right now I don’t see them being able to do much fighting when necessary. They are overshadowed in all of their scenes and so far just aren’t all that funny.

So once again it’s up to Bill and Ted to carry the film. To their credit they do a really good job of that. The Bill and Ted scenes are still a lot of fun as they mess everything up and are always confused. It’s always extreme but you never feel bored. For example when they are in the counseling session and trying to make things right with their wives. They suggest some solutions and do so with absolute confidence which you love to see. It’s obvious that they’re going up the wrong tree but it’s all about the confidence in their delivery.

The movie is just at its best when it’s about these two messing around and isn’t trying to get serious or emotional. The few serious scenes we do get can’t quite compete. For example the climax of finally playing the big song doesn’t work all that effectively. Perhaps it’s just played too directly without any kind of subversion but either way I’d have done a few more gags instead.

The music in general is okay but nothing all that exciting. The best piece of music in the film is likely the electric guitar that the main characters play once in a while. The actual songs got a bit too experimental this time so they weren’t all that catchy or anything like that. It’s easy to see why nobody likes their music in universe. They just don’t sound all that great or really know how to get a steady beat going. There wasn’t much for the legendary musicians to do either. They show up to help but their music doesn’t sound incredible either because they aren’t given much to play.

In the end the film should have really leaned into Bill and Ted having one last adventure. They can absolutely hold their own film and have already done so in the past. Mix in the fun time travelling and unique method to solve it and you have a lot of fun elements here. With more time for this subplot we could have seen them explore more of these alternate futures a bit more. It would be a win all the way through and likely enough to jump it up a star or two. A comedy film is only as good as the amount of humor it’s got in store after all and this one just wasn’t as consistently funny as it needed to be.

Overall, Bill and Ted may have its moments here and there but for the most part it really is just a big step down from the first two titles. Any scene you enjoy here has likely already been done but in a more impressive fashion in the first two films. This one is trying to juggle a little too much and as a result that means it has to really delegate the screen time between all of the characters. I’m not surprised that everyone turned on the main duo but you’d think the council would have been keeping in contact with them a bit sooner so this wasn’t a surprise at the end. Considering that the end of the universe is at stake you’d think they would be doing everything possible in order to help out. I guess that wasn’t to be though. In the end the film’s pretty harmless fun so it’s an easy one to recommend if you want something to check out but it could have been a whole lot better.

Overall 5/10

Point Break Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

This is definitely a film I knew about for a while but only the bare minimum. It’s nice to check this one off the bucket list and it certainly has some fun ideas. Ultimately the film does have its share of negatives though which keep it from going into the green. As a result I’d place this one right in the middle. It basically cancels itself out at every scene but makes for an entertaining watch as a result.

The movie starts with the U.S. former presidents robbing yet another bank. They’ve hit dozens of banks at this point for years and nobody has ever caught them. Now I should say that these aren’t the actual presidents but merely thieves who wear the masks resembling the old presidents. Well, the FBI have a newbie on the team named Johnny Utah and he is determined to crack this case. He convinces his senior partner Angelo to tell him everything and the guy reveals that he thinks the villains are actually a bunch of surfers. Naturally the idea seems crazy but it’s the only lead so Johnny has to learn how to surf. He quickly meets a team of very close knit surfers and the main one is a really good fighter. Hmmmm…maybe he’s on to something.

The classic going undercover routine is always a classic. It’s definitely a tough job to be sure since your cover can be blown at any time so it’s a high risk. Especially since Johnny is actually working in the field as an FBI agent in the same area. If anybody recognizes him then his cover is blown. Fortunately for Johnny he is a smooth talker and he used to be a big shot quarterback so that helps his cache with the guys that he meets. After all, what are the odds that a quarterback would go on to become an FBI agent right? It just seems to random that nobody suspects him at all.

Unfortunately, maybe in part because of how new he is to this, Johnny can be a bit sloppy at time. Case in point, there’s a moment where he is having his quick affair with the main heroine and of course he just so happens to have his gun and ID hanging around. You probably should have that kept extremely secure. I would also argue that while you want to get close to the suspects you probably shouldn’t start any kind of romantic affairs with them. It’s the biggest reason these operations tend to end in disaster because the main character gets too close to the case. It also means you have to start lying a whole lot more frequently and people are bound to get hurt.

I also think the whole thing was too fast to be a true romance. Johnny barely even knew Tyler by that point. She helped him learn how to surf which is great but that’s about it. He should have kept to himself a little more which would also give him more time to process all of the information that he was getting. You can blame some of it on Johnny being new to all of this but some of this is just common sense. He often ends up putting himself in worse and worse circumstances as the film goes on.

I do like his ability to remain cool under fire though. At one point in the film he knows that they’re onto him and they certainly know that he knows, but both sides play it cool. They decide to go sky diving and pretend that they’re having fun even throughout all of the tension. The shoe eventually drops on this and they all have to go back to reality but I thought that sequence was handled fantastically. It’s one of the better moments here.

So Johnny made a lot of mistakes and I wouldn’t call him a great lead but he’s fun. For example, I disagree with his final decision to let someone have their last request. I know that accepting a last request is a big deal but sometimes I really think that you shouldn’t give the guy the satisfaction. This is one of those ties without a doubt.

The main heroine Tyler is okay. She’s good at surfing which is very important in this film. She’s gotten in with a fairly bad crowd though and it’s probably hard to get out. That means things don’t really go very well for her in the film. Tyler’s not as far off the deep end as some of the other characters though. For example, Bodhi’s the main villain here and you can tell that he’s not quite right. The thrills mean far too much to him to the point where he has been completely consumed by them at this point. He’s no longer in it just for the surfing but to keep on topping himself.

I think if he had kept to the plan and not done any showboating then he would have ended up as a better villain. Once he started going overboard and just blaming this on Johnny or chance is when he got weaker. What I’d have done would have been to have had the group escape after handing the hostage over and making a clean getaway as always. They would have then all perished in the big waves that came through. It may not have been a very satisfying end to the heroes but I think it would have made Bodhi appear as a villain who was quite genuine in his motives. That wasn’t the case though so I didn’t end up becoming much of a fan of his.

Angelo’s a good character for the most part but has one scene that approaches the point of parody. He’s supposed to be the smart one of the group who’s always ready for action and yet he is so dismissive of the possibility of catching the crooks that he slacks off while on a stake out. He’s more interested in getting his sandwiches and a drink than actually keeping watch. When a vehicle pulls up to the bank he doesn’t even give it a second thought.

This is absolutely something you’d have seen in a comedic parody but it’s played straight here. Angelo should be blaming himself throughout but instead shifts this onto Johnny later on. If Angelo had taken this more seriously then the film might have ended a whole lot sooner. He blew it there but it’s a funny scene because of how crazy the whole thing is. It really takes you by surprise.

Finally we have Ben who is a stand out character. He’s Johnny’s boss and is always giving him grief about everything. I like how direct he is and the guy seems to try and be a jerk from day 1. In his first scene he’s already being mean for no real reason. He’s so over the top that he ends up becoming a fun antagonist. He’s not going around committing crimes or anything but he might as well be with how he’s handling all of this. He’s not exactly making any waves in the case either but always comes in to assign blame. Shoutout to the undercover cop at the final bank though. That guy really did a great job, he certainly took out more opponents than I was expecting. I ended up liking him quite a bit even though his role was so brief. That’s a perfect example of how you make the most of your opportunity.

The film keeps up a solid comedic tone throughout which makes the pacing good. That said, the script is one of the weakest ones I’ve seen in a while. Apparently becoming a sailor pretty much means talking like a sailor the whole time so the main characters are just swearing like they’re in a horror movie at all points. It’s incredibly overdone to the point of being a bit distracting. I’d say that could have definitely been improved here.

As mentioned, the romance is also on the weaker side here. It’s just extremely rushed and doesn’t really make much sense. I don’t see it lasting beyond the film either once the characters have all calmed down. It’s hard to forget about things like that. A sequel could have been interesting with how this all turned out though. Johnny’s role would have certainly been different.

Overall, Point Break really embraces the craziness of their plan to take the villains down by becoming a surfer. The best scenes are when the heroes are messing around with the boss and just causing a lot of trouble at work. It’s a film where you should be grinning for a good chunk of it. I also don’t think it would be very hard to make the film better either. Scale back the romance, improve the writing, and maybe take out some of the surfing scenes for other sports and that could work. For example the sky diving was a lot of fun and I did like the quick football game. Maybe even show more of the robberies since we didn’t actually get to see those. At the end of the day Bodhi blew it for his team but that’s the way it goes for villains sometimes. They just lose sight of the forest for the trees.

Overall 5/10

John Wick: Chapter 2 Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

Time for the big return of John Wick. It’s been quite a while since I saw the first film. Naturally that one ended up losing pretty badly in the score department since the very concept of the film revolves around a dog death which is no good. You can’t succeed that way. This film doesn’t go in that direction so it ends up being quite a bit better. It still likes to go super extreme in what’s going on but I can safely say that it wins in just about every way.

The movie picks up with Wick murdering the last guys in his way and getting his car back. Now he can officially retire once and for all. Unfortunately it looks like this won’t be so easy. His old ally Santino shows up along with the pact that they made a long time ago. Effectively this means that Wick has to help the guy accomplish one task. If Wick tries to flee or murder Santino this would cause him to be a wanted man by the hotel and would trigger a bounty on his head from around the world. Thus Wick has to accept the task which is to murder Santino’s sister. Santino may be safe now but as soon as the contract is complete, Wick is free to do as he pleases.

The franchise differentiated itself from the start with its solid world building. First of all, I like how the hotel has its rules in place. You can use it as a sanctuary for as long as you like and there is to be no violence there. It’s a true safehouse. Then there are the pacts which cannot be broken or you will be murdered as well. Effectively the world of hitmen actually has some sense and reason here which is nice. Even the villains do well to remember that.

John may not be as personally invested as he was in the first film, however he’s just as intense as ever. The guy takes down dozens and dozens of opponents throughout the film. He is usually known for having the highest body count among the shooters and it shows. He really doesn’t take prisoners and always makes sure his opponent is truly down for the count. He’s a no nonsense main character and his reputation precedes him.

It’s fair to say that he’s just a great main character. Part of the fun with him is the fact that we don’t know a whole lot about his past. I’m actually hoping the films don’t change that later on because the mystery is part of the appeal. He knows everyone and clearly he used to complete a lot of missions on the regular. We don’t need to see those days because it keeps the illusion of him being an invincible shooting machine.

Now he does get injured during the film of course but he always gets back up. With the sheer volume of people he is taking out left and right, he may as well be invincible. The guy is pretty much living out a real life Call of Duty campaign. The film does a great job with showing how he plans things out during the fights as well. Wick is proficient at close quarters hand to hand combat, using a knife, and of course is an expert with a gun. He uses all of those skills depending on the circumstances.

Santiago is the main villain here but he’s never a threat in a fight. The guy’s only chance at winning is that he has a ton of armed minions at the ready. 1 on 1 the series has yet to produce anyone who can take on Wick. The closest is Cassian who has 2 very close battles with Wick. Keep in mind that in both cases John was already weakened but the guy’s talent was still better than most if not all of the other fighters here.

Ares was also a tough fighter. She’s a silent assassin who gives Wick a good fight. You never think she is quite in the same league as Cassian but her skills are real and she was a loyal retainer. Definitely a good bodyguard to have at the ready for all circumstances. There are a ton of other assassins but those two definitely had the biggest role. Beyond that the others exist to get utterly crushed by Wick’s skills.

The soundtrack is pretty solid as well. This is one area where the first film has the edge though as it played some really intense themes particularly when Wick first came out of retirement. This one still has a solid array of action tunes though so anytime there is a gunfight you can expect to hear a lot of good tracks. The action never lets up so even though the film is fairly long you won’t get bored.

The writing is really on point with a lot of solid lines between all of the characters. It’s part of why the cast works so well since a lot of thought went into this picture. The ending also directly leads into film 3 and ends on a rather intense note. It’ll be difficult for any of the other installments to beat this one’s ending since it was really perfect. This is the right way to build up the suspense.

While there is no animal violence, the film definitely does still go all out the whole time. Pretty much every villain is shot in the head and you see all the details to add to the realism. These fights feel like real battles that’s for sure and so there is a ton of blood at all times. It’s less stylized than other titles to really show the impact of the hits. Then you have Wick’s pencil kills which were foreshadowed early in the film so you knew they would show up at some point. It may be the most brutal kill although the film has a lot of those so it’s hard to say. One guy gets slashed in the worst area possible so I was shocked that he was still able to fight before Wick just shot him.

It’s not quite Resident Evil/Underworld levels of violence but it is definitely rather graphic and also nonstop. He probably murders 100 guys by the end of the film and each one just ends up getting shot through. One death that wasn’t through a shot but was still rather violent was a lady who bleeds out in the pool. There’s some context to this one which I won’t say for spoilers but it was the weakest scene in the film. Certainly a unique way to go out, there’s no question on that. But a normal shot or something would have definitely worked a lot better.

I have to say, considering Wick’s reputation I’m surprised that so many random guys want to try and take him out. You’d think that these hitmen would value their lives more and just stay out of his way. Is 7 million really worth throwing your life away? Most of these guys should know that they’re absolutely outmatched and outgunned from the start. They should have just stayed at the hotel if anything. Honestly, if you’ve made enough money to retire that is the safest place in the city. Just stay there forever and enjoy the food while you can. It’s the perfect plan.

Overall, John Wick 2 is a solid improvement from the first title. The action scenes are on point and I like some of the design choices like showing the subtitles in colorful words when the characters talk in Russian or other times in Sign language. The visuals are really solid both in the fights and even just when exploring the city. The opening drive from before the credits was a good example of this. The story is solid and the whole setting is just build up really well. If you could tone down/stylize the violence a bit more this one would even be able to join the great leagues. If you’re up for a ton of nonstop action then this is definitely a title you’ll want to check out.

Overall 5/10

Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey Review

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It’s time for the big sequel to the original Bill & Ted! These two definitely went on quite the adventure the first time around. I enjoyed the film well enough and this one throws in androids which is always cool. I would say this one even improved upon the first. It does have some scenes where the film can get a little slow but for the most part the pacing is solid and the androids made for pretty intimidating opponents. They’re definitely not people that the heroes can really hope to defeat straight up.

This movie opens up in a similar state to the first. Bill & Ted still can’t play music at all and that’s not good since the big battle of the bands is coming up. They think about using time to help them out with this but in the meantime finally propose to the princesses from the first film. Everything is going well until alternate versions of themselves appear. They think it’s the future selves here to help them out once again but instead they are actually evil doppelgangers sent from the future to foil Bill & Ted’s career. These robots murder Bill & Ted and proceed to accomplish their goals. The heroes last chance to save the day is to quickly find Death so they can come back to life and then interfere before the Battle of the Bands performance is over or there will be no hope left. It’s a tough journey but someone’s got to do it.

I definitely enjoyed having some evil androids in the mix. Having villains like that can definitely take things to the next level if you ask me. Think about it, these guys have built in super strength and they easily crush the leads in their first battle. I’ll admit that the loss is a bit embarrassing if anything but it’s not like you could have expected anything less. It was still the most hype set of scenes in the film. Unfortunately there isn’t a real rematch later on so you need to enjoy the initial struggle.

The adventures through the characters’ personal hells were fun too though. You’ve even got a giant bunny that is around to mess everyone up. The scenes could get pretty tense. Death himself is probably the least intimidating member by default. The guy just wants some friends deep down. The scenes of the main characters playing him in a bunch of board games was definitely fun. Especially since I had even played a bunch of them back in the day. Bill & Ted are definitely really good at playing these which isn’t too surprising. I bet they played these games quite a lot over the years, probably instead of studying or anything like that.

As for Ted and Bill as characters, they’re pretty much unchanged from the first film so you either like them or you don’t. I appreciated the air guitar gimmick they have where they use that whenever something cool happens. Part of what helps them succeed as characters is their comedy gags aren’t even all that annoying. The characters are pretty fun and just work out rather well if you ask me. The cast is fairly small but they work well. The princesses don’t look great but they don’t really have a lot of screen time. There’s also a super smart inventor from another world who was passable at best but these side characters don’t really take away from the main adventure or anything like that.

There’s also a big twist that happens near the end of the film which is pretty fun. It just goes to show that when time travel is in play you have to expect the unexpected. Anything can happen at any given moment which is part of the point of this method. The film’s pacing is pretty solid so it’ll be over before you know it. Ultimately if I had to really say why it beat the first film, I’d say that the evil Androids and the film mainly taking place in the present are what did it. I love time travel but of course I prefer going to the future than the past. There’s just a lot more to explore when you’re going forward.

Overall, Bill & Ted manage to improve upon what made the first film solid. This is one I could definitely recommend to anyone who enjoys comedies. The writing is on point and we’ll see if the third film can keep it up. I don’t see why not, the trailer for it certainly looks pretty solid to me. The end of the big saga at long last. At the end of the day it’s still almost frightening how the future society is doomed to be modeled after these characters. I mean, there are far worse people you could pick to represent the planet but also much better ones as well. At least the clothing seems to have gone the LazyTown route in the future so fashion is on an upwards trend.

Overall 7/10

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure Review

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It’s time to look at a comedy film from a while back that’s definitely pretty well known. It did manage to get two sequels after all. It’s hard to find main characters that are less intelligent than these guys. Bill and Ted consistently look pretty bad throughout the whole film. The writing is pretty solid though. The film can definitely get a bit overboard with how silly it is at times. It’s definitely going for a comedic approach you don’t see quite as much nowadays. Still, it manages to land pretty well for the most part. I don’t see this title as having a lot of replay value but on your first go around it’s fun enough.

The movie starts off with Bill and Ted goofing off as usual. Unfortunately this has finally come back to bite them. Ted is at risk of failing history and if that happens then he will get sent off to military school. He tries to study with Bill but they’re just no good at this and the presentation for the final is tomorrow anyway. Fortunately they have some help. In the future, Bill and Ted are supposed to change the galaxy as we know it through their music. So an envoy is sent to the past to rescue the main characters from their plight. What happens is they send a time machine to the present so Bill and Ted can travel back in time and bring back a bunch of famous figures to answer the historical questions that they needed. This is a bold plan. Can the heroes pull it off? Or…have they already done so since the future already exists for them to do it?

Time travel is always an interesting concept in part because people can never really decide on what the rules should be. Personally, my favorite time travel rules are rather similar to DBZ’s. When you go to the past, you can’t affect your own timeline since the events have already happened. Effectively you are traveling to a parallels timeline where the events will now be different. As such you can’t get stuck in any of the time loops that you see pop up here and there. That’s because the events didn’t already happen, they’re all fresh as soon as they occur. This film is using a different theory though that you actively change time as you go through it. Because of that, the heroes are now in a time loop. The loop doesn’t make perfect sense by the end though such as some scenes we get of the heroes already doing things that they haven’t yet like recording a message of leaving notes. The only way that works is if you did another time travel adventure but the problem is actually starting it as they’d need to use more machines and actually time things perfectly which I don’t trust the leads to do. It does get pretty messy but it’s a very unique way to show time travel which was cool.

After all, there has to be a first encounter in order to set up the loop and I don’t see how that works. Clearly Ted would have been sent to military school without the help so the future wouldn’t be around to come back to the past and save him. If they were, then it would mean that the future doesn’t actually need Bill and Ted after all. Either way that does not bode particularly well for the heroes when you think about it. It’s part comedy so no need to think on it too much but it’s something that does stand out the more you think about it.

As I mentioned, the film’s pretty fun. As a comedy it really needs to be in order to succeed. It doesn’t mean that every joke will land, it’s rare for any comedy film to pull that off. Still, more land than the ones that do not which is the critical factor here. Personally I mainly enjoyed when the heroes were in the present compared to being in the past. I thought the film could have had more fun with these figures from the olden days enjoying modern life. We do get some of that near the end though which was nice. We even have a big mall fight where the cops show up to take them all down. It makes for a pretty solid action scene.

As for Bill and Ted as characters, I wouldn’t say that any of them are particularly likable. Both of them don’t study hard so they have nobody to blame but themselves on why they weren’t ready for the exams. I wouldn’t say they’re the most heroic characters either. This is the kind of film that isn’t relying on the leads which is good. The cast wasn’t really anything to write home about in general. The fathers of both kids were pretty unreasonable the whole time. We don’t see Ted’s mother but Bill’s was trying pretty hard at least. The lunch may have been burned but the attempt was on point. I liked the teacher even though he didn’t get to appear a whole lot. He may be a pretty strict guy but he still gave everyone a chance which is the important part. The fact that he let them have an opportunity to succeed shows that he cared at least.

Overall, By the end of the film you’ll have heard the word “excellent” quite a lot. One of the main reasons why this film was able to succeed is also that while Bill and Ted were portrayed as being very unintelligent, they weren’t super annoying about it. I’ll take “excellent” and the electric guitars as running themes over other options they could have had. The film also widely avoids crude humor which I was pleasantly surprised about. This definitely goes a long way as well. In short, this film was actually written pretty well. It succeeds in the approach it’s going for and the film just flies by. Ultimately I was entertained and it’s not like the film is very long either so it definitely doesn’t drag on or anything like that. It’ll be interesting to see if the sequels can quite match up to this one. If you like comedy films then this is a good one to check out. It’s not the best or anything like that but it holds its own and the sci-fi/time travel angle helps make this one fairly unique. I’m always in favor of using time travel to change history if it’s an option and these characters certainly don’t have any qualms against it.

Overall 6/10

John Wick Review

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This review is based off of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

It’s time to look at a pretty big film from back in the day. Pretty much any fan of the action genre knows about John Wick. Unfortunately you also know what comes with the territory as the plot itself is quite well known as well. The film is unable to get past the unfortunate decision to have the dog die in the beginning. It’s a cheap way to force in some tension and just doesn’t work. You absolutely can’t have the dog die like that. At least the sequels shouldn’t have the same problem unless they literally do this again.

The movie starts with John’s wife dying. She was sick for a long time and finally passed on. While dying she was able to send John a puppy so that he could have a reason to keep on going. Unfortunately a Russian mafia group shows up and murders John’s dog. He’s now decided to take revenge by murdering all of them. It’s been a while since he was in the mafia game but now he will have to return for one last ride. Fortunately for John you never really lose those skills. He’s got a lot of guns and at this point nothing else to do. He is 100% focused on his task and nothing is going to stop him.

It’s a pretty unique direction to have John Wick be so feared by the villains. They constantly refer to him as Baba Yaga which is effectively a Russian Witch. The definition they used here is a little different though and they’re just saying that he is extremely scary like a monster. The instant his name is mentioned the villains start cowering and wishing that they had messed with someone else. They were all gangster until Wick showed up. He lives up to the legend pretty well as he murders a ton of the agents after him. He definitely wasn’t playing around here and definitely did not take any prisoners. Whoever got in his way was doomed. The only time he didn’t end up finishing his opponent it came back to bite him.

I liked the hotel idea too where villains don’t go after each other. It’s a safe haven and it’s important that you obey the rules. It also shows that the owners of the hotel have a lot of power since everyone obeys this rule. The hotel itself has a great end scene and I liked the concierge the whole time. The guy was quick on his feet and just felt like a veteran. He knew what was going on and always had the answers. Part of what makes the film so different is how it relies on prior knowledge that you don’t know and doesn’t try to throw it at you via origin stories. We really don’t need John’s origin. You can piece everything together on your own without help and it’s just more fun that way.

The soundtrack is quite large for this film. There are quite a number of different themes that play during the film. Certainly a lot of battle themes to accompany the fights and rock themes to get you pumping. The themes all work and Wick himself has a theme that plays during some of his big moments. The film really knows how to score its scenes and when you mix that with the intense fight scenes there is not a dull moment in the film.

John makes for a great lead and it was good to see him go to any length to avenge his dog. It’s certainly a noble mission and the villains can’t really defend themselves for these actions. John did give the leader a chance to surrender his son for this blunder and the villain didn’t take it. John wasn’t crazy or anything, he spared those he could and just focused on taking out all of the characters who were threats. There are quite a few other supporting characters here who were fun but the best one was definitely Marcus. That guy came in clutch quite a bit. John wouldn’t have done nearly as well without him. It’s definitely a shame how he went out although that was inevitable by the end.

So there’s a lot to like here and it’s a very interesting thriller. The characters were carefully constructed and as far as revenge thrillers go this one can compete with all the rest. An indestructible main character like John is fun to follow and of course it’s always nice to see all of the villains getting taken down a few pegs. That being said, the negatives are even stronger than the positives which is why this film ultimately fell all the way down instead of managing to win out.

The obvious negative here is the dog death. It destroys the whole film particularly because of how it goes down. The film makes the scene rather brutal and what makes it even worse is that this is a puppy. The film gives us quite a few scenes with the puppy so we can grow to like him. Again, this is a very easy way to build tension and it’s a cheap shortcut. The three ways that films usually do this is by having an animal die, a person close to the lead get tortured to death, or have the wife/girlfriend get assaulted. All 3 of these ways are definitely not good ideas in the slightest and will usually doom a film’s score. The animal one in particular is hard to get around and with a dog of all choices. There’s just no way the film could recover from this. It’s a very direct negative so it may look like it’s outnumbered by the positives but the scene is not one that you will forget so easily.

John Wick is also a very violent film. It’s certainly about as violent as you’ll get with a shooter film. Characters are tortured and there are quite a few headshots that don’t shy away from showing them completely. Characters meet their end in very violent ways as well. This film is definitely trying to live out the revenge fantasy where you put yourself in the main character’s shoes and revel in what’s going on. The film definitely could stand to tone down the violence though. If you did that and change the part about the dog then this film would be in much better shape.

Overall, John Wick is a pretty engaging film. It may have lost its traction from the start with the Puppy’s death but even though the movie is misguided, a lot of effort was clearly put into it. The soundtrack alone is evidence of that and then you’ve got the strong character cast to back it up as well. It’ll be interesting to see what plot the sequels go with. Something has to get him back in on the action right? I assume the movies are going to bump more people off but just about everyone he knows is already dead. Either way I guess John won’t be getting his happy ending yet. I hope the hotel appears again though, that was a pretty interesting locale.

Overall 1/10

Constantine Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version. All thoughts below should be read as such as a review of the unedited version would be even more negative.
Constantine-2005
Well well, it’s time to look at a horror film that also happens to be a comic book film. I’m not sure about this combo and it certainly didn’t work out this time. Constantine ends up being a very weak title which contradicts its own message and spends a lot of time wondering just where the plot went. One thing’s for sure, this isn’t the sleeper hit of 2005 and it even makes the recent Ghost Rider film look good.

The film’s about a guy named Constantine who exorcises demons. He wants to be allowed into Heaven since he has done a good job of keeping the demons away, but the angel Gabriel reminds him that one cannot enter into Heaven on good works alone. Constantine shows his contempt for this by slamming a Bible on the ground, insulting and berating a lady who is trying to save her sister, and then torturing a spider that he found in his house. Yeah….I wonder why they aren’t letting this guy into Heaven….It’s impossible to root for Constantine from this point on, but one thing leads to another and he’s the only guy standing in the way of a mad quest for power with human lives in the balance. Looks like it’s time to fight again!

It’s hard to know where to start on how bad this film is. We may as well get the ball rolling with Constantine since I’ve already started taking shots at him. He’s just a horrendous main character. Constantine doesn’t seem to even pretend to follow the Bible’s teachings. He spends the entire film being mean to just about everyone and his opening scene where we’re supposed to be impressed with how he handles the exorcist just makes him look bad. He’s not even that good at his job and barely manages to scratch out wins. Constantine loves smoking as well and even after he gets lung cancer, he decides to keep on smoking anyway. Once he gets a sidekick, Constantine tries to be a little more heroic when he’s not pulling guns at demons at a bar where there’s a truce, but it’s too little too late. I’ll never forget the spider incident. Sure, he had a bad day, but taking it out on another living creature is way past crossing the line.

There’s also this subplot in the desert where a guy finds a spear which mind controls him and forces the guy to come over to the city. Not only does this plot go nowhere until the very end of the film, but it is immensely boring and just slows the film’s pacing down even more. The film never really gets good or exciting so it may not matter all that much while you’re watching, but it doesn’t help matters.

The film can also be pretty violent at times and also just grotesque with the various demons running around. Supernatural films like this one love going for those crazy visuals. There were some good ones here like when Constantine went into hell. I liked how the place looked and the film had potential with some of the fight scenes and other special effects. It was one of the few positives that this title had to offer.

Back to the negatives, the film decides to make God (Yes, the film actually decided to go with the real God in this film. Big mistake considering that they decided to make him look terrible) look incredibly unintelligent and he spends the entire film getting tricked by everyone around him. Part of the premise in this film is that God and the Devil are having a chess game with humans being the pawns in it. Neither one of them can affect the humans directly, but they can tempt them. The Devil tempts them to do wrong things with his demon hybrids while God has the half angels. Full fledged Demons and Angels are forbidden from interfering. Aside from the moral ambiguity of this game, you’d think that God would ensure that the match is fair right? Nope, he doesn’t realize it, but the Devil has rigged the match from the start.

He’s not even subtle as he just summons a bunch of Demons to Earth and directly attacks people. His allies even go to bars and start indiscriminately murdering people. They also murder one of Constantine’s allies and an angel can do nothing but watch since he’s heavily outnumbered. Of course, the fact that the angel was watching and doing nothing the entire time is another negative. It gets even worse as one of the higher ranked Angels turns out to be crazy and evil. God appointed him as one of the 4 big Angels so you’d think that the interview process would have been more rigid. The Angel believes that he’s still a good guy and that genocide will help the human race turn to God before they die. He believes that suffering always has this effect, but you can see how crazy he is.

Also, the Devil is portrayed as incredibly strong and while God won’t set foot on Earth, he has no qualms about it. He shows up and wrecks everybody. The final straw is the fact that he can mess with Heaven as well. So, remember the part where Constantine can’t earn his way into Heaven with actions? Yeah…the film forgot about that. By being heroic and helping someone out, he was able to earn his way into Heaven, but the Devil can’t have that. He literally reaches up and just pulls Constantine back to Earth. Wow…..I can’t even….

So…yeah, this movie had a very warped idea of how Heaven and Hell works. It’s always nice to see a film actually bring Christianity to the forefront and tackle these concepts, but it was done so horrendously that it backfired completely. I don’t believe we even got any lines where the characters remind Constantine that he can only get into Heaven through Jesus Christ. It seemed to completely revolve around being a nice person instead, which is 100% false. No matter how many good deeds you do or how nice you are as a person, it will never be enough to get you into Heaven without accepting Jesus Christ as your lord and savior. The whole point of faith in Christianity is that you know that you can’t make it to Heaven on your own. You need Jesus, but this film decides to go around that. Also, the concept of an Angel being evil is pretty terrible. Lucifer was an angel once and there are other Fallen Angels, but they are fallen. There aren’t any evil Angels still lurking or anything like that. That’s just Hollywood trying for an epic plot twist, but there isn’t any to be found in Heaven. I don’t think for one minute that any bad guy can trick God into letting him in.

As for the rest of the supporting characters, the main heroine was decent. Angela was certainly a big improvement over Constantine and she goes through a lot of trials in order to help her sister out. Her sister committed suicide, but Angela knows that she would never do such a thing and it finally helps her to believe in the supernatural. This brings another negative to light which I almost forgot about. All right, stay with me here since the film decides to use its crazy logic again.

So, a demon possessed Isabel and forced her to destroy herself. That wasn’t her own free will so she surely wouldn’t be penalized for it would she? Nope…she actually is. See, as part of the match, this falls into the whole “Satan influencing people” part so it’s actually a legitimate victory for him with Isabel now being doomed to Hell for eternity. Now you can see how this whole game is so rigged right? Luckily, Isabel ends up having a happy ending, but once again, the Devil was just portrayed as way too powerful here. Essentially, he was the one with power over Heaven and Hell in this version given how he can influence the game to such a degree.

So, Angela’s a good character. I also liked Chas, who’s the comic relief character of the film. He did a good job in the role and helped out as best he could. Things didn’t go too well for him, but he does get a big plot twist in the post credits scene…which may or may not be canon as I also read that it was an alternate ending. I’m pretty sure that it is canon though, but I don’t really care enough about the film to do any searching. If you see the film you can stick around past the credits and tell me if it’s there. None of the villains were particularly likable and the demons didn’t have great designs. The final fights were pretty decent, but Constantine was so far out of his league that it was scary. He’s a human with a gun….there’s only so much he can do against a very fast/powerful demon. Plot hax is really his only weapon at this point.

Overall, Constantine is pretty terrible to be honest. I’d stick far away from this film if I were you. The film defies its own logic and the logic is already super flawed and fake from the get go. You won’t learn anything from this film because there is nothing to learn and the actual movie isn’t well made anyway. Constantine is a very unlikable main character and even the edited version can’t save the film’s writing and the excessive violence that shows up at times. All of Constantine’s allies (One of which is a priest who likes to drink a lot. Gee….the film had to fit that in didn’t it?) are doomed to painful and unfortunate ends at the hands of the demons and since the heroes never had a shot from the beginning…what’s the point? If you want a better comic book film, I recommend Batman V Superman, the original theater version. That film has it all, hype, action, and an epic soundtrack!

Overall 2/10