Tag Archives: Thriller

Final Destination 3 Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a really bad film and trust me when I say it’s reallllllly bad. At the same time, I didn’t quite think it was a 0 so we have that going for the film. It’s probably the best thing I can say about it to be honest. Like there’s really nothing good about it but I didn’t feel like it was worthy of being at the very bottom of the bucket. Small mercies and all right? Still, if you’ve made it to Final Destination 3 then I imagine you’re probably at least a slight fan of the series so maybe you’ll appreciate this one more than I did.

The film starts off with a bunch of annoying teenagers enjoying a fair and messing around. They all tend to be unlikable jerks and the kind of cliques that you’d want to avoid. If you see them coming then you need to cross the street but it’s probably too late by that point. They decide to head on a roller coaster but Wendy gets the feeling that they’re all going to die so she makes a huge scene and gets off. This starts a chain reaction of other kids getting off and the ones who stay all get destroyed. Now Wendy is feeling some survivor’s guilt and most of the other kids aren’t even grateful that she saved them. It was all coincidence and all that. The problem is that death is mad about the way they survived this and has decided to bump them off one by one. Can they find a way to stop such an all powerful being or is this going to be yet another lesson in futility?

This is a problem with a lot of supernatural slashers which is that we all know the heroes have absolutely no chance. What are you going to do against an opponent who can’t die, can’t feel pain, etc. Death is also immortal so he has all day while the main characters will eventually slip up. Death has no true weaknesses or limitations in his abilities either so yeah this is going to be a long film for the characters. It would help if Death himself actually appeared to gloat or something but he’s treated more like a natural disaster. He also seems like a troll since you could make the case that he gave Wendy the vision in the first place. Sort of like he is bored and just needs a reason to keep on murdering.

Right off the bat the film isn’t helping itself either with all the demonic imagery. Yeah it makes sense to remind the characters how evil everything is but they could have at least pretended to have a little subtlety. Then we also have to make one of the characters a total creep which is annoying. He basically exists to annoy and pester the girls. Even the main guy who we’re supposed to be sympathetic for, decides to take an inappropriate photo of one of the girls in his first scene. The film goes out of its way to make the characters super unlikable.

It’s one of those tactics I understand because then you don’t feel as bad when they are bumped off, but this backfires almost every time I would say. After all you’re now following a bunch of characters who are all just pretty bad. Also not all of them are as bad as the others so some of them feel like they are paying a price that is way too drastic. For example there are two girls who are not very smart, they shown to be rather shallow and really unaware of what’s going on but that’s hardly enough for them to get a grisly murder. You can’t put them in the same category as the perv or the guy who is always ready to pick a fight.

At the end of the day, almost all of the characters are going to get bumped off regardless. I suppose life not being fair could be just another message but it’s not one that I’m a fan of. Then you also have Wendy figuring out the death rules but it doesn’t really make much sense. At least in the first two films you had the mysterious guy throwing in a bunch of lore and helping to confirm what’s true but here she picks up on all of it with the flimsiest reasonings possible. You have a very hard time believing that she actually pieced the puzzle together like that.

For starters, the roller coaster deaths seem hard to predict the order of compared to the airplane. It would have been way harder to keep track of them all. Then conveniently there are people covering the photos at times right up until the murder happens. Again, it feels like death is just trolling the whole time which means the main characters are even more doomed than usual. Mix in how over the top violent it is and that’s a recipe for disaster. What you end up wishing for by the end is at least a few normal deaths. A relatively quick/painless death instead of it always having to be super disturbing.

Maybe have one character cheat death several times with some cool athletics or something. You can afford to lighten up the tone just a little bit instead of the films always being so somber. Even the shock ending isn’t quite as shocking as it could have been. I will say that the subway seems like a fun backdrop though so I’d be cool with that being the main setting for one of these films. Perhaps it would get old quick but I think there is some potential there. Not that this franchise as a whole has much potential though. First thing you need to do is come up with some actual likable characters. Something that can be used as a foundation to push the film forward. Throw in a real plot and definitely give Death at least the illusion of a weakness. If you do that then perhaps we can actually have an adventure.

Overall, Final Destination 3 is definitely the weakest entry in the series. It’s really just an excuse to have a bunch of characters all murdered in very grisly ways. You could say that’s always been the point but at least there was some semblance of a story stringing it all together. I would say this film barely even bothers with the pretense. The characters just keep getting bumped off and at no point in the film are you actually having any fun. It’s just all way too grim dark the whole time for any of that. Definitely stay far away from this film and you will be glad you did. You won’t be missing anything of value here.

Overall 1/10

I See You Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a big horror title guaranteed to chill you to the bone. At least, until the film makes the decision to basically replay the first half of the movie again and while you understand the idea for doing so…it definitely obliterates the film’s pacing up until that point. The movie is never able to regain its footing again after that.

The film starts off with a kid being kidnapped as the string of missing persons continues to grow. It’s hard to say who is behind this and so Greg is put on the case. Greg is good at finding the answers to the various mysteries in front of him but this time he is rather distracted because of some family issues going on. His wife Jackie cheated on him and so there is a lot of tension in the house and their son Connor resents her for it. Jackie just wants them to move on already but they’re not having it. Will their family drama be the issue that prevents the kidnapper from being caught?

First up, I think we have to recognize that being cheated on is not something that you just move past. It does make Jackie’s attempts feel a bit hollow here because that’s something you can never really take back. The family is ruined at that point, splitting up is really the only recourse and you hope someday to be forgiven but it’ll likely never happen. You’re just too far gone at that point. I don’t think she really does any favors for herself in hiding who the guy was either or talking about it more. It’s a bit relative since I don’t think there’s much she could have done to help the situation but it also creates a lot of ammo that can be used against her. As a result, she is ready to hide crimes as need be.

Then you have Connor who is definitely unlikable the whole time as well. He spends his whole screentime venting but it’s not like he’s coming up with any solutions or helping out. It’s fine not to get along with her anymore, but then he should just stay quiet and keep to himself. Making scenes the whole time and lashing out does him no favors. Ultimately he also handled a video game situation very badly I gotta say. I’m not expecting him to turn around or something but when you’re messaging with someone anonymously online, you never want to show that they’ve gotten the best of you. He needed to keep his cool and bluff or something. Instead he walked into every single response like an online rookie.

As for Greg, well he’s mostly handling the situation by just being super quiet at home. it’s a reasonable approach so no problems there and he is working pretty hard on the case without getting too distracted. He probably should have mentioned he was sending over a repairman to fix the window but for the most part he didn’t make any big mistakes there. Not a whole lot more to say about him in the first half here.

So you’ve got your basic plot here and you may be wondering, where’s the supernatural angle? Well I’m not sure exactly how much that angle is played up in the trailers and promotions but when watching the film that’s never really in your mind much. When the first kid is abducted you see him launched out of his bike as if by a ghost, but as this film plays itself up more as a crime thriller you’ll probably guess right away what the actual method was. You’re bound to have seen it in at least a few cases.

There are a few attempts at jump scares and such but yeah this one you could think of as more of a realistic horror the whole time about kidnapping. In some ways people would say that’s scarier anyway but I tend to be more partial to demons and such. That said, perhaps the twist is supernatural, I won’t spoil that for you. I had a lot of issues with the first half anyway like the characters being annoying and such but the second half is really where the film loses me.

We get to watch the first half all over again, but in first person view as we’re introduced to the missing pieces of the puzzle. Think of it like a mystery movie where the detective is explaining stuff, only this time you are seeing the whole thing in “real” time. It’s incredibly boring is my biggest issue. Like I said, you can piece together things pretty quickly but the film feels like it needs to smack you in the face with all the details. I think we could have just kept about 20 minutes of the reveal and cut out a ton of the fluff. You don’t need to see the true cause of every single mystery as you can infer a bunch of them as soon as the main reveal happens. If the movie had done that then it would have been good.

Part of the problem is also that the twist introduces some new characters to the film and none of them are likable. Two of these are professional criminals who engage in “Harmless” crimes but as you know, most of those tend to cause actual harm eventually. One of them is at least cautious and tries not to cause too much trouble beyond spreading germs and dirt everywhere, but isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. She is easily manipulated and has no survival sense at all. You need to keep in mind that if you are ever kidnapped and somehow manage to escape your kidnapper’s den in the middle of a forest out in nowhere’s land, the last thing you want to do is start yelling into your phone for the cops to pick you up.

Why? First up, the kidnappers are more likely to hear you and track you down well before the cops show up. Additionally, if there are any wild animals you’re likely to get eaten. The cops will be able to trace your cell phone if you have enough service for a call so just keep the line open. If you feel properly secluded you can whisper into the phone and try to give them directions but you have no idea where you’re at so that’s not going to help much either. Secondly, if you see a trailer car nearby with the doors unlocked and the lights on…don’t go in there. After all, that may have been where the kidnapper was taking you anyway. The odds of it being some innocent soul who is unrelated to the incident is close to 0.

Maybe there are other kidnapped people in there and you want to play the hero? Well that’s your best argument, but it’s still a weak one. Even if you manage to untie one or two of them, they’ll likely be too malnourished and beaten to aid you in a fight. So the kidnapper will still beat you and then eventually murder everyone. Your top priority is still to escape and get some backup. If you have to, just pick a direction and start running. If you’re lucky you’ll eventually make it to someone who can help but your survival odds greatly increase anyway.

Meanwhile the guy with the camera is another annoying character. He causes a ton of trouble the whole time and appears to be completely immature and even starting to fall into the darkness. He very quickly goes down the villainous path and while he is not the ultimate antagonist, I would still say he is a villain as well. The guy has a rough backstory and all but it’s not one that excuses his final actions. He’s a big reason why the second half of the film is super annoying to get through.

I will give the film this though, the ending is pretty solid. It unironically pulls off the popular Naruto meme where he starts to talk about his childhood and the villain cuts him off. Something similar happens here and it was great. Look, if you’re confronted with a mass murderer who has been causing a bunch of trouble, the last thing you care about is his backstory. I really couldn’t care less if I was in that situation and I’d just take him out too. You don’t see it very often in movies since they want to let the villain give his backstory for the narrative and all but this is way more satisfying. Not the kind of thing that can save a film but at least it ended on a high note.

I also liked the mask that the main villain uses. It’s definitely pretty spooky while also being original. It can be a little rarer to see a hit new design nowadays so that was definitely welcome. It’s probably one of the only times when the film is having a bit of fun since the whole thing is rather bleak and dark. The backstories are dark, the kidnappings are all super dark, etc. The fact that this has been going on for so long without anybody finding anything out is also really gruesome. With the previous victims not even being able to be very helpful, it shows just how far gone they were. Again I’d say it’s definitely more tragic thriller than horror as a result.

Overall, I See You is a film that had some really ambitious ideas but they didn’t really work out. The characters needed to be way more likable to pull this off. There also has to be a better way of adapting the second half without it all feeling so old and repetitive. Maybe somehow keep cutting between the two plots and hide that they are connected until later on. It would be difficult but definitely more entertaining. I definitely have a hard time believing some parts of the film like with the timeline and nobody noticing certain things though. The film did go to great lengths to make the case on why people would be particularly not alert but I still wasn’t having it. It had some unexpected twists and was ambitious but either way I would say this one is more of a skip.

Overall 3/10

Frankenweenie Review

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Oh man when the trailer for this film first stopped I was making fun of the title for ages. I just couldn’t get enough of it. Every time I would see it I kept on laughing because it sounds like one of those titles you’d use to make fun of Frankenstein or something. Still, it was interesting to have this spin on things although that does mean a dog has to die as part of the plot which is always extremely dangerous at best. I definitely do not recommend this story tactic to any aspiring writers out there.

The film introduces us to Victor who is a kid who loves Kaiju films and basically working by himself. He makes a whole homemade film where his dog Sparky plays the role of the lead Kaiju who takes down Rodan. It’s all pretty wholesome but his parents worry that he may not turn out right since he has no real friends. They don’t have much time to ponder this though, as Sparky is destroyed a few days later. Aside from there now being 0 chance that Victor will ever try outdoor activities like Baseball again, the parents know that this will change Victor. Learning loss is a tough lesson….and yet Victor uses his genius to bring Sparky back to life. Why lose someone when you can just keep them alive right? I mean it makes a certain amount of sense you have to admit. This may have more side effects than he is thinking though.

I appreciate the fact that Sparky doesn’t randomly turn super evil or anything when he’s revived though. It’s always a bit suspect when the process of being reanimated suddenly makes the character go crazy. I know it’s like a cautionary tale of why you shouldn’t bring people back from the dead but on a logical level it never really made much sense. The best explanation is when the soul itself has already moved on because you took too long, then it being a mindless zombie is fine I suppose.

This movie actually doesn’t really go in that direction though. Sure it’s sort of implied you shouldn’t mess with the dead with how the other creatures start acting, yet the ending doubles down on Victor making the right move. So the lesson is really to just make sure you only bring back those who are really kind and dependable. That’s a moral I can absolutely get behind so I have no real issues there. The ending is solid and the film actually had some pretty good battles as well. Sparky ultimately does seem a little outmatched for most of them but he always fights bravely so I can definitely respect that.

Sparky is a fun character all the way around. The death in the beginning is still rough but at least this is one rare case where stop motion works in the film’s favor. It helps to lessen the impact a bit and at least the whole thing is quick. It doesn’t make things as drastic as it could have been otherwise. I will still go on the record to say that stop motion is one of the worst styles of animation though. While the story is good, the film does not look good visually at all.

The style almost feels intentionally ugly to a degree for a while there. The characters tend to be missing teeth and/or sleep and nobody really appears as they should be. It may work to an extent with the spooky vibe they are going for but give me a traditional animation style any day and that would absolutely be better in every way. I think it would have also helped this movie as well since it gives some support to the rest of the movie. Solid animation can get you more involved after all.

Without that, well this is mainly a story involving a bunch of kids and most of them tend to be on the annoying side. Edgar is basically around to blackmail Victor and the rest of the kids are doing their best for the science experiments but don’t look great. Victor is really the only super genius around here and without him the others could have a closer fight. I did like the science teacher though. He had a good amount of aura and actually knew what he was talking about which was nice.

Most of the adults feel like they are basically powerless the whole time so it was nice to have someone who was in charge. Even Victor’s own father allows himself to be held back when Victor is trapped in a burning building. I think that’s the moment you really have to break free and make a move even if it means breaking the law right then and there. Fortunately things work out but even so it was not his best moment. In general the movie does a good job of keeping the stakes pretty high the whole time. You always think that some of the characters could be in danger and of course Sparky is in the most trouble based on whichever message the film is trying to sell you.

Overall, I thought this was a fun film. The stop motion and lack of interesting characters does keep it from going further though. As far as these kind of films go, Coraline and 9 are both a lot more interesting. This one doesn’t really have the same level of depth or pure story telling that it can compete with. It’s less about it making mistakes and more about it just not having enough ammo to reach the next level. It’s a fairly basic story at the end of the day without a lot of fluff to try and extend it. In a way I suppose you could probably even give kudos for that as well since I’m sure it would have been a tempting thing to do. If you enjoy the idea of a dog back from the grave then you should check it out. The film does make sure to spend some time with Sparky having his antics and even making a friend. It’s a film that maintains a strange atmosphere but I would say it leans more on being happy than being sad so don’t worry about this one being a tearjerker.

Overall 6/10

Magical Girl Dandelion

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This is a pretty new series that just started up and it’s got a lot of potential. It’s hitting those Madoka Magica vibes right off the bat and we’re already getting fight scenes. Mix that in with the good art and I definitely see this going places. Hopefully it becomes the next long running series with tons of volumes all over the place! I’ll have a full review for the series once it finishes but of course that could be many years from now.

Overall 7/10

Appointment with Death Review

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It’s time for the next Poirot film. I’m always up for a good mystery so I was ready to see what is going on this time. The locations feel a bit reused though as part of it is on a boat and most of it is on the dessert. We’ve already covered both locations but it is fully a new story. The actual case is less interesting than the other mysteries but I would say there is still enough to make this a pretty good movie. There is little reason to watch it over the others but if you want more Poirot content then this is the way to go.

The film starts with Emily blackmailing her family’s attorney Jefferson. Jefferson has shown her that her dead husband had a new will where she was no longer the sole beneficiary. So she tells him to burn it or she will tell the world about the super shady things he did back in the day and he will be thrown in jail. Jefferson doesn’t want to pay for his crimes so he obeys and scatters off. Emily can now rule over all of the children as they have to at least pretend to be kind to her since she now controls all of the family’s vast wealth. They all go on holiday but wouldn’t you know it, Jefferson is there. Emily has to be careful because he might have some plans up his sleeve. Additionally, Poirot is around hoping to have a good time. That will be difficult though as murderous intent fills the air. Everyone wants to murder Emily but who will get to her first?

As always with these films you have a rather massive cast. There are a whole lot of suspects everywhere and the only tricky thing is that a lot of them look quite similar. Fortunately the characters are always using their names because otherwise I’d get mixed up quickly. Most of the characters are not all that likable though. They just let themselves get pushed around way too much. The film tries to give them some excuses for this like they just don’t know what to do because they’ve been used to being ultra rich but I just don’t really buy it. That’s just not good enough as far as excuses go.

One of the worst characters here has to be Nadine who is married but still has an affair with Jefferson the whole time. She basically does it right in front of her husband Lennox the whole time just to mess with him. Not really someone you want to have as an associate and Lennox should definitely try to split from her. In the meantime, I suppose it’s tough to tell if he should try to keep on beating up on Jefferson or just ignore them since there’s not much point in trying to fight for someone who has no interest in you.

Naturally Jefferson also looks really bad for this. The guy definitely has no respect and you know the relationship will be doomed. He will eventually get bored and the same thing will happen. How you get someone is how you lose them after all. The guy was already not looking good from the start when he decided to burn the will but this meant that he just kept on getting worse and worse as the film went on. The whole thing was just corrupt.

That is often a theme of the Poirot films though. Most if not all of the characters have a lot of personal issues and shortcomings going on. He will solve the case but can’t really solve the inter family dynamics. That’s just not really possible and by the time the film ends, most of the characters aren’t even punished for this. Life will go on and they all will just return to their normal lives. Some for the better and some for the worse. It can sometimes be a little anti climactic but that’s how it goes.

Poirot isn’t some kind of hero here. He only solves the case when he’s been hired to do so or it happens right in front of him. Otherwise he really tries to stay out of it and ignore everything shady that it going on. It’s just not really any of his business and that’s how he likes to keep it. He makes for an entertaining character either way though. If anything it’s part of what separates him from the other characters the whole time.

The writing is good either way although the film underestimates the audience a little too much. I thought there were way too many flashbacks to scenes that we had just watched. It felt like the movie added these in case you forgot the moments but it’s not like this is a 5 hour epic. That felt excessive like one lady saying how she never forgets anyone. The flashbacks showing new vantage points to old shots makes sense, like the kid running and our view of what actually happened. The others were not needed.

As always with these things I do have some parts that I have to stretch my disbelief for. Keep in mind that most of this is taking place in a wide open desert. It’s not a very loud environment and everything is out in the open. So when people are being murdered and such, you would usually expect someone to notice. In this case someone got all dressed up and made a move while nobody saw the whole thing. It’s not as egregious as the boat murder from a previous film but it’s definitely something that will have you shaking your head.

As for some of the other characters, you have Raymond who is pretty annoying the whole time. He likes Sarah but keeps getting stopped by his mother. Why doesn’t he just go talk to Sarah anyway? Well, he’s lacking in confidence and she even calls him out on this. It’s such a bad look and it makes it difficult for you to believe in the romance. What would she see in him at that point? None of the romances in this film are particularly convincing but I would say this has to be the weakest one of the lot. It’s all rather fast anyway even without that going on.

Sarah is mainly a solid character but gets a bit too defensive when Poirot is interrogating her. She seems to take offense to the fact that he is calling her a suspect but detective’s rule 101 is that everyone is a suspect. So why is Sarah so upset about all of this? I thought it was rather a poor look for her. Then you have Lady Westholme who is generally upset at everyone and tries to flaunt her power a whole lot. I appreciate the confidence but she would definitely be tiring to be around after a while. She constantly creates a scene so if you’re around then you’re going to be put on the spot by association.

There are a few other characters but that’s the bulk of them. So like I said, there is a going on here with a bunch of characters running around. At times the film gives the interactions more time than the actual mystery. You could almost say the mystery works more as a backdrop at times. That’s why the writing is very important and fortunately it was handled really well so it never gets boring or anything like that. The pacing is on point.

Overall, Appointment with Death goes through all of the motions but with a little less zeal than the other films. Even though the plot is quite intricate, I think it’ll end up being rather forgettable by the end. Still, it’s a pretty good movie even despite this. At the end of the day I tend to enjoy mysteries so even if this one was a little generic and didn’t try to break away from the others, it held my attention. I would say that generally speaking there aren’t a ton of big budget mystery films compared to other genres so you really want to enjoy the ones that you do get. You don’t know how long they’ll be around.

Overall 7/10

Angel Face Review

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It’s time for one of those films that has quite a few messy dynamics in it. The main character is certainly not someone that you can root for and in noir titles that is often the case. The real trick is to make the film enjoyable in spite of the protagonist being someone you are rooting against. Fortunately the film is able to pull this off and so that’s why I would say this is a good title. It has a lot of suspense and of course it never hurts to throw in a courtroom scene. I always enjoy seeing those.

The film starts off by introducing us to Frank who is a pretty good ambulance driver. He has bigger dreams but right now this is where he’s at. He has a girlfriend who works with him named Mary but Frank is still not satisfied and as always he heads out to get super drunk and throw a pity party. He happens to see a girl named Diane there who he previously met on a routine house call. Surely this is coincidence that she is at this bar now too right? She doesn’t even need to ask him to lie to his girlfriend because Frank does this right out of the gate. He is intrigued by this mysterious lady and is immediately ready to throw everything away for her. This may be more true than even he suspects as Frank is now thrown into an absolute whirlwind of scandal and controversy. He may live to regret his decision.

So there’s really no reason to feel bad for Frank here. He opened the door to have an affair with Diane right from the start. There was no reason to lie to Mary while he was at the diner and messing around. In fact, since he and Mary clearly had plans, he shouldn’t have been wasting away at the diner in the first place. He should have been getting ready to go home and have a good time with her. The fact that he didn’t shows just how much he took her for granted right from the start. Yeah I was definitely rooting against this guy from the start. Honestly even if it had been a much longer seduction I wouldn’t have had any sympathy for the guy but he really didn’t seem to have any respect for Mary.

Meanwhile Mary was a much better character. I was glad that she was able to see through Diane’s little deceptions and call her out right from the start. Now that was a good scene and Mary also made the right call in not chasing after Frank. Honestly if you find out that your boyfriend is basically getting ready to cheat or has already done so, then it’s just time to cut him out. Now Mary allowing Frank’s friend to be the rebound guy is a bit much though. It feels like this other guy was way too desperate to be with her the whole time. It doesn’t quite sit right with me as Mary is basically settling and this guy doesn’t mind being the second choice. It doesn’t exactly make either of them look all that good.

Finally with Diane, she makes for a reasonable antagonist. She’s clearly a character who is used to getting what she wants. When she doesn’t, heads begin to roll. There is really nothing that would be considered as going too far for her. She’s just going to keep on plunging ahead and it’s also why you don’t feel bad for her either. I wasn’t sympathetic to nearly any character in this film because they all looked bad in one way or the other. I would say my favorite character was her attorney in the end as he was the only one not letting things get personal and he was just ready to cash in his check. Yeah none of those Noir scandals for this guy.

The ending to the film is definitely satisfying after everything that happened. As always Frank looks like an absolute chump but it makes sense. He’s really not ready for what’s going on and I don’t think that he ever will be. This guy lets his guard down constantly and that’s why he’s always getting himself into traps. Then of course we had the long courtroom scene which was really good. It was fun seeing the case being laid out and both sides trying to corner the other. It’s why I always tend to enjoy court scenes in any movie. They’re just well written and this one was no exception. Due in part to the film’s short run time there is also not a whole lot of downtime here. Something’s always happening and you’re never bored.

I guess at most you are typically waiting for the romance scenes to end since you are rooting against it anyway. You know that the whole thing isn’t very organic and can’t possibly end in a positive way. So you’re waiting for the next big event to happen to the characters and the story really doesn’t disappoint you there. Typically I am always an advocate for a film being as long as possible and I still standby the fact that any good film will be even better if it’s longer but I can always appreciate a short title as well. This one had solid pacing throughout so the length worked out well.

Overall, Angel Face is a pretty fun movie. It’s got a good story to it that keeps your attention the whole time and a climax that is quite fitting for the characters. Now you may be wondering how a film filled with so many tragic events could be fun but it’s because you need to think of every character as an antagonist. Then it all works really well. If anything I’d have been upset if the characters escaped this with an outright happy ending because it would not have felt deserved at all. This was the only ending that really fit for such a film and I can definitely recommend this one to anyone looking for a quick title to check out. The runtime is not very long after all.

Overall 7/10

The Mark of Zorro (1974) Review

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It’s time for another Zorro film, the masked hero gets to ride once again! In this case I’m moving backwards a little bit here as I’m used to the newer version. This one still manages to hit all of the right notes though. It’s a pretty fun film overall and while I would not call it the definitive Zorro film, I didn’t really have any big issues with it either. I would say it accomplishes the goals that it set out to do and ultimately makes for a movie that I could basically recommend to anyone. The short run time also means that it always has a very fast pace going on.

The film starts off with Zorro leaving the swordsman academy because he has been receiving some distressing letters about his home. So he heads off to see what’s going on, although I’m not sure exactly who sent those letters or what they were really about. When he gets there, he’s shocked to hear about what people are saying about his father and seems to have no clue on the current state of affairs. So I was a little puzzled by this but either way at least it got him to go on the move. When he sees how the whole area is being overrun by powerfully corrupt officials, he decides to put a stop to this. When in costume as Zorro, he punishes the bullies and shows the weak that they have a chance. When in his human form, he sows discord among the villains and plays up his wimpy personality. It’s the ultimate dual identity.

I always like to see Zorro in his human form because he does a really good job of making sure that absolutely nobody likes him. Well, I suppose the exception would be Quintero’s wife but everyone else finds him just utterly repulsive. The villains don’t take him seriously and his father is supremely disappointed. It definitely goes a long way to showing just how good his acting skills are. It also can’t be easy for Zorro to purposefully be looking this bad but he does this for the long game.

Ultimately his plan is super successful. I’d even go so far as to say it runs so smoothly that you are waiting for something bad to happen. I suppose the priest Zorro was hiding the money with gets beaten up but otherwise the plan pretty much goes without a hitch. Zorro also dispatches the fighter Esteban with relative ease in this one. The guy may have been a fighter but he was definitely not in Zorro’s league. Zorro taking on an entire army and winning with these guerilla tactics is definitely impressive. The movie really gets the tone right for this kind of classic adventure so it’s easy to have a lot of fun with the whole thing. You understand the high stakes from the start but the movie is mostly concerned with having a lot of fun.

A great number of the scenes in this film have something ready to give you a smile after all. The writing is also really good. The script is on point with all of the fun dialogue and veiled threats. It’s the kind of writing that can be hard to match in a future title for the most part but Zorro has really proven to be pretty much timeless so far. His films just do a good job of adapting to the era, or in this case it didn’t even need to adapt as the same story still works pretty well.

I will say Zorro’s father also looks really good here. He may be older but he still jumps in to help his fellow people when things get dire. You understand his disdain for his son since that is the whole point of the ruse. If there was no twist, then of course he would be right to be upset. In the final fights we even see the father take down a few of the enemies so the guy has still got it.

As for the heroine Teresa, I don’t think she gets quite as much to do as in the other films but she still does defend Zorro at the dinner table. That always takes a certain amount of guts and showing up at the end to recruit the heroes was good. She’s at least a good character even though she was always around the main villains. Her mother is not nearly as good though as she’s actively trying to cheat on her husband with whichever guy is around. Definitely not the real loyal type, I can safely say that.

The romance in the film can definitely be a bit on the rushed side though. I don’t think the movie really had any time for that considering that the main plot already needed a good amount of the runtime to cook so if I was the writer I would have cut that out entirely. I suppose with this being planned to turn into a show then you would have had more time but then you could have used those episodes to really build up the plot. At least it’s not like it’s that bad, it just feels out of place since Zorro needs to focus on saving everybody and overthrowing the dictators. That has to be his only real concern. The ending definitely goes in fast to the point where I was thinking the recording was about to cut off but this way you can really say that Zorro was fighting right up to the end.

Overall, The Mark of Zorro is a pretty fun film. It really does fly on by but it never drags on at any point. You are guaranteed to be having a ton of fun throughout and at the end of the day that’s the important thing. I would say he is significantly more interesting than all of his rivals like the Green Hornet for now. Of course all it takes is a really solid film to change that but it’s not as easy as Zorro makes it look. When you try too hard to make a film funny it can backfire and just make you roll your eyes. So you have to handle it carefully and this is easily one of the big titles I would use to show people how to make an effective action/comedy title. Regardless this is a film that I can easily recommend to anyone looking for a fun adventure.

Overall 7/10

Escape from L.A. Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for the big sequel to the New York film. This one ends up falling into the trap of basically copying most of the story beats but not being able to do them as well as the first film. The only advantage I would probably give this film is the ending which was definitely real fun. Beyond that, this is still a good movie and so if you liked the original you will want to check it out as well. It just isn’t able to escape the shadow of the first movie.

The film starts with a massive Earthquake separating Los Angeles from the rest of the United States. A presidential candidate predicted this would happen and so he got enough momentum to become the president. He quickly changes the country into a dictatorship and has absolute power. All people who break the laws or engage in taboos are deported to LA. America is now only a place for the virtuous. Unfortunately for him, the president’s daughter Utopia ended ends up hijacking the plane and crash landing in L.A. They’d leave her for dead but if she isn’t found quickly, a failsafe will activate that will activate the USA’s secret weapon and doom the country. They are forced to send in Snake one more time. Can he really save the day like last time?

You might be wondering, why would he possibly accept the mission again. Wasn’t he supposed to have a full pardon anyway? Well, a new president means new rules so he is back to square 1. Additionally they’ve put a virus inside of him so Snake has to save the day or die. He doesn’t exactly have a whole lot of way to say no to this. Snake tries some things like shooting the people who gave him the mission but of course they loaded the gun with blanks. So Snake has to really just fend for himself as always. He has to check a bigger area with less time than the first film so you can tell they are trying to dial up the stakes as much as possible.

Where the film does well is in keeping the Snake hype. He still looks strong and resourceful as always. You can’t really keep the guy down and I like his confidence. Snake probably dispatches people with even greater ease than normal here like when he used his gun on someone who had a knife. The film enjoyed throwing in some humor here and there to balance things out. The fights are fun and the landscape is pretty good. I don’t think it’s nearly as scenic as the destroyed New York from the first film though.

Now the humor can be a mixed bag at times. I don’t think the film is always as funny as it thinks it is. Snake messing everyone over can always be solid of course. I liked him just overwhelming opponents as he lets out the occasional one liner. The random surfing scene with this guy as Snake caught up to the villain was a bit more on the nose. I can appreciate the absurdity of it all but it still wasn’t exactly the film’s best moment. It just didn’t make much sense.

Then the film also starts to weaken the president a little too much by the end. I like the idea of a President who is super corrupt but talks a tough game the whole time. This guy was completely insane and that’s what makes him dangerous but by the end of the film, it was trying to show him as more of a low confidence individual who backs down when the going gets tough. I don’t know how the army could talk so tough to him the whole time. I would have preferred he stay in control the whole time until the end and then catches the L. Making him into more of a comedic figure by the end felt like it weakened the inevitable confrontation.

Still, the movie’s ending was really solid like I mentioned before. It makes sense as a way for Snake to really get the drop on everyone. It was also a good call back to the way the villains messed with him early on. Snake never forgets after all and he managed to stay a few steps ahead the whole time. It’s good that he was a solid lead character though because otherwise the cast was rather weak here. For starters we have Utopia as the president’s daughter who seems incredibly naive. She fell in love with a terrorist who would visit her during her VR dreams.

It’s just hard to see how she could possibly fall for this. You should already have so many red flags popping up when some guy shows up and allowing herself to be brainwashed so thoroughly is rough. By the time she finally starts to come around, it’s just way too late. The main villain Cuevo isn’t much better. He gets tricked a lot and his only impressive moment is when he took down Snake early on. Beyond that, he should have taken out his right hand man Eddie a lot sooner to have kept himself safe. Letting that guy stick around really came back to bite him.

Speaking of Eddie, he’s one of those villains who is pretty annoying the whole time. He is an opportunist so he goes with whoever has the best chance of winning. Don’t mistake his actions near the end for him being a hero, he’s just doing what he always does there. The supporting cast was definitely not doing anything to enhance the movie, I can tell you that much. So Snake had to carry it all alone and while he does pull this off, it’s another reason why it can’t match the first film.

This film isn’t super violent/disturbing for the most part but the plastic surgery place was definitely the most intense. It definitely shows you a rather grim look at what the future could be like if people get too hooked on the stuff. Of course the characters who live there are too brainwashed to do anything about this. There’s one girl who tries to convince Snake that it’s actually not so bad and in a way they are the true free people. Her words are punctuated by a quick gun shot that finishes her off. I dare say that was one of the funnier scenes in the film as they tried to show just how delusional she was.

Overall, Escape from L.A. is a good movie. It definitely could have been better though with a stronger script and a better cast. With the blend of serious moments and comedic type shots they also could have hit a better balance. By the end of the film you start to think that the crazy president may have had a good point. We don’t actually see any innocent people in L.A. as they all seem like total criminals. Yeah maybe the good ones were taken out early but America seems to be in a good spot. There probably should have been a little screentime to show the downsides of this policy of kicking out all the criminals or something like that.

Overall 6/10

Escape from New York Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

This is one of those films that everybody has heard of at some point. It’s a pretty well known thriller from back in the day and having New York as the main setting is always a pretty good idea. I like the idea of the story and this is probably a better way to do the prison break kind of plot than with a standard one. They could have done a little more with the concept but you’ll still have a good time here.

Basically in the future crime has gotten so bad that the world needs more space for the prisons so Manhattan was sacrificed. The entire borough is now used to house all of the criminals. It’s an open air prison without any kind of supervision or police control. The crooks are basically left to their own devices to rule or be ruled. Unfortunately, the government gets sloppy and the president’s plane goes down so he ends up crashing within the city. If he isn’t recovered in less than 24 hours, nuclear weapons will be automatically activated and the world will be doomed. This forces them to send in a guy who used to be a military hero but tuned for some reason appears to be a big criminal now. You can probably guess that there is more to this than meets the eye but he is convinced to help in exchange for a complete pardon. Can he really save the president?

The mission is stacked against Snake (The lead) in a lot of different ways. For starters the government injected him with mini bombs so if he doesn’t save the president within the time frame then he will die. Additionally, chances are very good that the president is already dead with how ruthless the place already is. The odds that he is still okay are super slim but the government won’t care and will still blow Snake up. Snake is also massively outnumbered and will have to be dealing with some really crazy odds. This is also territory that the villains are super familiar with since they’ve had to live here for many years. The situation just keeps getting worse and worse.

Still, Snake couldn’t exactly turn down the job opportunity since he was told in no uncertain terms that he would be obliterated if he said no. This is a government that sanctioned a complete borough prison after all, you can tell that they are not bluffing by any means. Snake makes for a solid lead either way. He’s clearly experiences and knows what he is doing out there. A lesser character would have been absolutely crushed early on by everything happening but he just stays on mission even as characters are blown away right in front of him. He has to put up with a whole lot and you can bet there is basically no gratitude in the end.

As for New York City itself, it really looks like a dystopian backdrop here. There is almost no power since the criminals had to try and work some greenhouse supplies to their benefit with very limited results. Any reasonable person was likely axed off years ago so you’ve only got the crazies at this point. Everyone is extremely insane but at least some are crazy in a helpful way like the cab driver. I would say he was my favorite character from the city dwellers.

He talks about things very nonchalantly but is clearly prepared like when he had the bottles ready to light on fire. He’s been around the block many times and has seen a lot of things. He is clearly scared all of the time but at least he knows a lot of people and how to get around. Even the Duke would probably have a hard time stopping him. The Duke is the head honcho of the whole operation and really calls the shots here. In any situation there will always be one figure who rises to the top amidst the chaos and in this case he was the guy. He doesn’t get to appear quite as much as you would expect though. He’s mentioned a whole lot but it’s really not until the end that he actually shows up. I’d say he live up to the hype reasonably well. You can tell that he’s a real tough character but introducing him early on could have been fun.

This film is definitely more of a thriller than a full action movie either way. Don’t expect a lot of big explosive fight scenes the whole time. Snake can clearly fight and does knock a lot of people out but for the most part this is a stealth mission. He’s got to find the president and so a lot of screentime is really in exploring the city and talking to people to gather intel. I could see this being a really fun video game with how you would explore like that. The desolate ruins of Manhattan with criminals around every corner would really be tense.

The film can be violent at times but not quite as drastic as I would have expected. The film has a fairly dark atmosphere and keeps the tension going but does so without having everything be on screen. You know the situation sucks for everybody within the prison and the film doesn’t have to beat you over the head with the implications of this. You’re curious just what life looks like on the outside but the focus is really on the jail itself which makes sense. Either way there is a ton of corruption as always.

Overall, Escape from New York is just a really interesting film and works well. You’ll be at the edge of your seat the whole time. When I say the film could have done a bit more though, it’s really that the concept of turning a whole city into a prison sounds really interesting to me. I’d like to see a bit more about how it works and that’s where having the Duke show up earlier could help. You’d have to treat the subject carefully but yeah there is a lot of potential there. Here you are really getting a glimpse of the whole thing I’d say. Like Snake you’re really just thrown in there and that does amp up the tension so in that way the decision did make sense.

Overall 7/10

Murder in Coweta County

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It’s time for another film based on a true story and this time it’s about a big murder from back in the day. We get to see the importance of the death penalty and how it prevents you from making an escape and also how hard it can be to track down proof for a single murder. In the end law enforcement is a very difficult career and not one for the faint of heart. However, when you can solve the case it definitely feels good.

The film starts off by introducing us to Wallace who is one of the most powerful people in the country. He basically has an unofficial empire by which he can rule the masses and escape any kind of justice. One day, someone tries to steal his livestock as revenge for being chased out of town and Wallace murders him. The murder occurred in the territory of Sheriff Potts though and he is not having any of that. Wallace made a big mistake coming onto this guy’s territory and now Potts is eager to have Wallace destroyed for it. Potts will have to assemble the evidence and fast because if Wallace is let go on any kind of a technicality, he’ll never be caught again. The stakes are high!

Wallace is one of those villains who is quite unremorseful. He really sees himself as the good guy in all of this and believes that his status and power makes all of his decisions absolutely above judgement. It’s definitely a very bold point of view to be sure. That’s what makes him a fun villain though. He heavily overestimates how persuasive he can be in a conversation. Sheriff Potts never even entertains the guy for an instant yet Wallace continues to talk and talk and talk. It’s really quite something. It’s also fun to see how one by one everyone starts to betray them and he realizes that this is actually happening. He absolutely did not count on this happening but at the end of the day most people will look out for themselves when the chips are down. That’s just how it goes.

Meanwhile Potts is a super solid character right from the start. He’s putting everything on the line to solve this case and using all of the resources that he’s got. After all if he can prove the case here he will have shown that nobody is above the law. He will have dealt a great blow to injustice everywhere and that’s just what he did. In the epilogue it’s extremely impressive to see that there were no unsolved cases during his tenure. That is crazy, I doubt very many sheriffs can say the same.

Meanwhile this was a film where there were a lot of other helpful characters as well. You had the two who attested to the murder, you had the deputies questioning everyone, local towngoers who were doing their part, etc. It was nice to really see everyone come together and it was a nice optimistic look at the world. We tend to see the more negative side of things in most cases so I really appreciated this. The movie generally has a good vibe about it. It acknowledges that a lot of bad things tend to happen in Wallace’s kingdom but we don’t see anything more than we have to. The film focuses more on things getting cleaned up than what was there.

We also get a pretty detailed look at the trial proceedings which I always enjoy. I love a good trial and this is definitely the way you’d expect it to be done. It’s all handled very professionally with lots of suspects and exhibits of evidence. Then you have Wallace really shooting himself in the foot even as he tries to prove his own innocence. It’s why you always want the lawyer to speak for you. People often think they can just go in and say what they want, but that’s a good way to make yourself look guilty. Even if you are actually are innocent, often times the last thing you want to do is go in without letting the lawyer represent you. They are professionals at what they do after all and know the ins and outs of the process.

As the film’s storyline is fairly straight forward there’s not a whole lot more to say about this one. At the end of the day it’s a pretty direct story and that’s why I give the film a lot of props for keeping it very interesting and engaging at all times. I imagine it would have been easy for this film to have been boring under the wrong hands. For a film like this you absolutely need good writing and they pulled it off.

Overall, Murder in Coweta County is definitely a good film. We’ve got some strong writing throughout and a good cast of characters. This is one of those old films that has really withstood the test of time in all areas. It’s a movie that has good pacing throughout and a pretty satisfying conclusion. It’s an event that I wasn’t too familiar with from what happened in the real world so it made the film extra fresh the whole time. That definitely adds to the entertainment value big time. I’d recommend watching this if you’re interested in the court proceedings or in seeing some justice being enacted in general. For a film like this it all comes down to the ending of course so I was glad that it really landed without any issues.