Tag Archives: Universal

Bride of Frankenstein Review

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Looks like it’s time to take a look at the original sequel to Frankenstein. I did not like the first film and I’m not a Frankenstein fan in general. I didn’t walk into this film with high expectations and I was not disappointed. That being said, it is a considerable improvement over the first film. It’s not nearly as violent or grotesque and handles itself rather maturely this time around. It can still be a bit of a tragic film at times even when it tries to be funny so it can be hard to tell when you’re supposed to be laughing or feeling sorry for the characters. I usually voted for the former.

The film starts off in the “real” world as Mary lets everyone know that the story isn’t over yet. We have some really over the top actors who yell about this and everyone gets excited so she tells them what happened. It turns out that Frankenstein’s monster didn’t die because he fell into the river and Frankenstein didn’t die because his body is very durable. This prompts Doctor Pretorius to arrive and tell Frankenstein that he wants to make a female version of the monster. Frankenstein halfheartedly refuses so Pretorius kidnaps his wife. Frankenstein now has to work against time in order to save her, but can he really duplicate the experiment?

The main improvements from the first film all stem from the reduced violence. The first film had a little kid drowned and we saw way too much brains and body parts for my liking. It was pretty distasteful and this one steers clear of all that. Even when they’re creating the bride, it’s never graphic. The film just isn’t violent in general and the victims are far fewer in number. We do have a few people die of course, but they’re casually thrown aside for the most part so it isn’t all that bad.

Frankenstein has changed a lot since the first film. He’s now incredibly timid and fears everyone. He’s always getting picked on and forced into doing things that he doesn’t want to do. However, he reverts back to his mad scientist phase whenever there is work to be done and it’s like he never changed at all. It would have been nice to have seen him have a little more will power. Naturally, he did have to go ahead with the project to save his wife, but he could have done it in a sane way instead of losing his mind once he was back in the lab.

Pretorius takes over Frankenstein’s role from the first film and I do certainly have to admit that he is smart. The first thing he does is to get the monster on his side and that was crucial since his plan would not have worked otherwise. His use of “Miller Time” and Cigars was a very potent combo. He always has the upper hand on the monster as he even drugs the poor guy later on. Pretorius fears nothing and is just very confident from start to finish. He was a pretty good villain and while it never felt as if he had much of a reason to do what he was doing…do mad scientists ever need a reason to do something? They just do whatever they want for kicks.

Minnie is the main comic relief character of the film and she does a good job in the role. She always talks a good game and is one of the only characters to insult Pretorius to his face. She is smart enough to actually run away from the monster and tries to warn the heroes even if they refused to listen to her. She certainly did a fine job if you ask me. As for the Bride, I guess she was fairly reasonable. Her reaction wasn’t all that bad when you consider that the heroes didn’t give her a chance to relax. Plus, who wants to be thrown into an arranged marriage the instant you are born into existence? Nah, the first thing you’d want to do is get out of there!

The Monster is all right I suppose, but he’s still not very smart and the monster noises can be annoying. I was glad that he finally learned how to talk a bit as the film went on. I figure that will make him a much better character in the sequels although it seems like I wasn’t on the same page as the writers. At least the monster tried to live a calm life at one point and was doing just fine with the blind guy in the hut. It’s a shame that the hunters had to wander in at that point and wrecked his one chance at a happy ending. He didn’t get burned this time and while he was captured at one point, he was able to break free pretty quickly. He certainly had a much more enjoyable adventure this time around.

Be warned that the title of this film is pure click bait. The Bride doesn’t appear until the final 5-10 minutes which is pretty disgraceful. She only gets roughly one line before the film has to end so if you were watching the movie to see her in action, prepare to be disappointed. It’s really just Frankenstein V2 as the film takes a lot of similar twists and turns. It seemed like it was meant to be a homage to the original in a lot of ways even though it had just come out. It was just handled far better than the first film and as a result, the film wasn’t half bad. I can’t say that it’s the kind of film that I’d want to watch again, but it wasn’t a chore to watch the way that I would have expected it to be.

Overall, If you’re looking for a horror comedy film, then this could be the right film for you. At the very least, it’s one of the best Frankenstein films that you can hope to see. That being said, it’s still not all that great and it’s short length ensures that the film has to run through the plot. The ending is pretty satisfying though and that’s always a good thing for these kind of films. Scooby Doo may still be your best bet when it comes to horror comedies, but this one gives it its best. Can the third film manage to defeat this one? I somehow doubt it, but we are getting closer to the Werewolf and that could certainly end up being another story.

Overall 5/10

The Monolith Monsters Review

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It’s time for a really old monster film, but a fairly unique one. What if you could make a Monster film without a monster? In a sense, the film uses the term monster not as its literal definition of a monster, but as something large and scary. While I can understand how not having an actual monster can be a deterrent, I actually found the film to be pretty fun. For the most part, it handled everything well and didn’t make any typical movie mistakes. It’s a solid film that has withstood the test of time.

Dave is shocked to find out that one of his pals has been turned to stone. The only suspect is a rock that the guy has been researching. Arthur, an expert on all things, believes that the rock is actually part of a meteor. The heroes find out that these rocks grow with water and continue to get larger and larger. Since soil has water in it and the area keeps getting hit by large thunderstorms, the crystals are growing very quickly. They will cover the whole country if something isn’t done. Still…what can the humans do?

Dave’s a pretty decent main character for the most part. He’s very no nonsense and is always trying to think up a plan. He was a little short with the weather guy, but he doesn’t panic too much at least. The film depicts him as the average joe and is pretty successful at it. Dave is pretty generic and you could interchange him with any other lead and you wouldn’t know the difference. It’s not necessarily a bad thing though as he is basically just the classic 1950’s lead that usually turns out to be a solid character. Arthur is probably the best character in the film as he always knows what is going on and gives a lot of good advice. Dave would have been stumped without him. Martin was a decent newspaper man. He spend a little more time whining than doing anything else, but when it was crunch time he came through. I don’t see how he could get bored writing a newspaper though. There’s always something to write about even if nothing is happening. Cathy is the main heroine of this tale and she’s all right. Cathy doesn’t get much of a role beyond worrying about the kid who was infected by the crystals, but that also means that she didn’t really make any mistakes either.

There are some logical questions with the film’s plot though. For starters, how exactly are the people turned to stone? They mention that the rocks drain a certain material out of people, which is what causes this, but that still leaves some questions. As we saw from an old lady, her arm was turned to stone from contact with the rock. The little girl’s contact led her to be almost completely petrified and the guy from the start was totally affected. Are we meant to believe that he was completely touched by the rocks? Because when we saw the guy, he was totally by himself and in a position that wouldn’t be natural to have stopped in unless it happened instantly like a flash freeze. I don’t think the film knew what was going on with this part.

The film does use a lot of stock footage for the Monoliths falling over so prepare yourself for that. They just keep on falling and falling with nobody to stop them. It’s hard to take it seriously as a threat and the final solution of dumping a lot of salt and water on them seems sketchy at best, but when dealing with such a random threat, you have to think outside the box. It is lucky that their governor was so reasonable though since Dave took matters into his own hand. Things could have certainly gotten very ugly for his future prospects.

This isn’t really a mistake by the film so much as a scene that was very interpretable. When the girl was first attacked by the Monoliths, I thought that they were going to mind control her so they could make some demands. The film opted to go a different way and so the Monoliths never got sentient, but the way the girl was glaring at everyone seemed to be like the film may have thought about going another way at first. I suppose it may have been my imagination though.

The film does make one mistake and that’s the fact that a dog dies due to the crystals spreading. The film didn’t have enough of a budget to make the dog look realistic which sounds good to me, but it’s still a moment of pointless animal violence. The film didn’t need that and it was a rather low blow. It’s like every film wants to force a scene like that inside of it and there’s no reason to. The shock value isn’t worth it!

Overall, The Monolith Monsters was a fun enough film. The classic 50’s writing ensured that all of the characters were pretty intense and that the dialogue was engaging from start to finish. The pacing was pretty good and the film should be able to grab your attention. Maybe not as a monster film, but just as a well written movie. Some of the townsfolk could be a little unreasonable and one guy being frantic to run off as soon as possible when his wife was still waiting to be un-petrified came across as a little unsympathetic. With all of these characters panicking left and right, it’s good that we had the police chief. He kept on trying to get in Dave’s way until he eventually just lost out. I appreciated the effort though. If you’re looking for a different kind of monster film, then check this out out. Even if you just want a fun slice of life film with a little tension, this could be the right film for you.

Overall 7/10

Frankenstein Review

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It’s time for an even older film. Frankenstein is a monster who grew very popular and actually has a lot of fans. Just look at how many films this guy has. It’s quite unbelievable since I’m not a fan of the series by any stretch of the imagination and it’s hard to see how any movie of it could ever be good. I dunno, it just doesn’t have much potential. This one isn’t that bad for most of the film, but it is very boring. There is also one scene which destroys the film and it couldn’t recover from that.

By now, you know the story. Doctor Frankenstein decides to build a monster. Elizabeth, Victor, and a nice old Professor decide to visit Frankenstein to tell him to stop this foolishness. Surprise surprise, he decides to go ahead with the experiment anyway. Frankenstein’s monster is born and now he wants to destroy everyone all around the world. Welllllll, that may not be his total goal, but effectively it is what he is doing. Can the villagers tale this guy down before he harms anyone else?

The monster is supposed to be a sympathetic character typically because everyone treats him really badly and he can do nothing right. The problem here is that this is impossible to do. He murders a little girl and well….you can’t come back from that. The film couldn’t come back from it either. It was a really dark scene that had no place in the film. If she had swam out after he left or been rescued, then it would be fine. Drowning just like that? Nah, that scene was terrible.

Even beyond that, the monster’s just never been an interesting character. He basically invented the strong, but not very smart trope. Not that the other characters were much better. Frankenstein’s the one who caused this whole mishap in the first place. He shouldn’t have tried to build Frankenstein and create life. It was never going to work. The other Doctor doesn’t do much of anything and ends up being more of an observer than anything else. Victor talks tough and tries to stand on even ground with Frankenstein, but when he is told to sit down…he obeys. Elizabeth tries to reason with Frankenstein the whole time, but it is ultimately futile. She never really had an effect on him so there bond wasn’t really all that strong. He would have left them out in the rain if they hadn’t forced the issue by knocking over and over again.

One other issue with the film is that it’s just very boring. The scenes drag on and on and on despite the film being fairly short. By the second half, you’ll start to wonder just what happened. The first half isn’t all that bad. The characters go to the creepy tower. There are some debates. Frankenstein is revived. After that? The film just loses all direction as the monster goes around getting burned by old, blind people and attacks others for no real reason. It’s supposed to be humorous to see Frankenstein get burned and I suppose it was handled better than some of the other plots, but it still wasn’t all that good.

There’s not much more to say about this film because it is the same old Frankenstein story that you have seen a million times. It is the original though so I suppose it isn’t totally fair to call it old. One thing that could have helped the film a little bit would have been to have the monster talk. If he could actually exchange dialogue with the others, then it would at least make the film more interesting. After all, the writing during this time was solid enough where even Frankenstein would have sounded distinguished. It may have been a little tough to swallow, but it beats the alternative. It does make you wonder what would have happened if the proper brain had been given to the monster. I suppose the film would have been more of a slice of life at that point though so it may be moot.

If I have to name one positive thing about the film, it’s that it ages well. At least as far as the effects and cinematography go. It came out before the Wax Museum and yet it definitely looks newer and more polished. That may be more of a shot against the Wax Museum though. Hmmm…even my complements for Frankenstein turn into negatives. What can I say, the concept of Frankenstein is just terrible in my opinion and I don’t see how anyone could turn it into an engaging film without completely rewriting the plot. It just cannot be done I’m afraid. Even Dracula is more engaging as a film and as a character. Just conceptually, I’d rank the popular monsters from best to worst as: Dracula>>Mummy>>Werewolf>>Frankenstein. The Werewolf is close though as that plot isn’t very interesting either. There just isn’t much to it. A guy turning into a monster that looks like a human? Seriously…

Overall, Frankenstein is a more tasteful film than the last Frankenstein adventure that I saw, but not by much. Seriously, the little girl scene leaves a bad taste in your mouth and easily takes off 2-3 stars by itself. I don’t see any reason why you should want to watch this film either as it will just bore you out of your mind. By the end you aren’t even sure who to root for. The angry villagers, the Monster, Frankenstein…or nobody. Regardless, you’ll endure the climax, but I’m sure that the TV will be shut off almost immediately afterwards. If you want to see a good Frankenstein film, then I recommend I Frankenstein. To this day, it’s the only good Frankenstein film. I don’t count films where he just happens to appear as a few more would join the list then. I Frankenstein is a very loose adaption of the mythos, but that’s part of why it is good. Trust me, you can’t go wrong there.

Overall 1/10

She-Wolf of London Review

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This She-Wolf film may not have a whole lot to do with the original, but that’s the fate of some unfortunate spinoffs. While this film may not be all that bad, it doesn’t do a lot of good things either. It moves by at a rather slow pace to try and build up suspense, but forgets to have an actual climax anyway. You will also have to suspend some disbelief by the end considering who the culprit here is. At the very least, this film shows that sometimes you shouldn’t overthink everything as if you were in a thriller film. Sometimes, the answer is right in front of you.

Phyllis is sort of the main character here. She is almost ready to be married to Barry, but something comes up. She believes that at night, she turns into a Werewolf and destroys people. She wakes up to find blood on her clothes, wolf hair, and stuff like that. Her aunt and her cousin try to help her get through this to an extent, but it’s not very effective. The aunt clearly doesn’t like Barry and tries to dismiss him every time while the cousin talks a little, but doesn’t do much during the film. If Barry wants some answers, then he’s going to have to break into the house and find them. The question is…can he fend off a werewolf?

Okay guys, it’s spoiler time. If you don’t want the twist to be ruined, then simply skip this paragraph. Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you really ready? Here we go…there is no Wolf in the film. The fact of the matter is, Aunt Martha is the culprit here. “Why did you say that name!!! XD” I know that this may come as a shock to you, but it is true. Martha is actually the villain here. See, she doesn’t like Barry to she decides to trick Phyllis into going insane and thinking that she is a murderer by murdering a bunch of people and setting it up so that Phyllis would look guilty. The logistics of this are a little dicey though. For starters, Phyllis must be an incredibly deep sleeper to not notice the Aunt doing all of this to her room every night. Beyond that, how does everyone get murdered by her so easily? True, she has a butter knife, but she is very old and a detective should still be able to react fast enough to stop her. At least, I’d hope that he could. She also just makes for a very boring villain. I suspect that you are watching a creature feature film to check out the monster right? The more twists we get with a fake monster in the climax, the more that the creature feature genre dies a little inside.

None of the characters are particularly likable either. Phyllis is rather weak willed and falls for every trap a little too easily. She should have probably explained the situation to Barry if she really trusted him. Together, the two of them could have done a decent job at solving this case. Instead, she tries to push him away and sulks by herself. It makes the situation a lot more complicated. Barry? He basically has no character and just shows up to let Phyllis tell him to go away. He usually listens and runs out of there only to return later and try again. The supporting characters really weren’t a whole lot of help here, but then again….who thought that they would be?

The film isn’t particularly violent or anything, but just to try and add a certain level of darkness to the background, it turns out that a kid was murdered by the old lady. Was this necessary? No. Did it help the plot? No. Did it help remind me that this is more of a B film at heart? Yes. The She-Wolf of London will just keep on reminding you that it could have been a whole lot better. I can’t picture it ever being terrific of course, but it could have been more exciting, starting with actually having a monster.

I did like the Guard Dogs though. They barked a good game and kept everyone on their toes. The other dogs around the neighborhood were also fun. I can’t remember if any died or not so I will assume that they all lived. If one did die, feel free to remove another star from this review. One of the main problems with the film is simply that the plot never really goes there. In the end, it simply isn’t very interesting and that’s a problem. The film may not be all that long, but none of the characters are sympathetic and if we’re being honest here…nothing really happens.

Overall, The She-Wolf of London is a bit of a non film. By that, I mean that most of the film takes place as Phyllis’ house and most of the drama is all in her head. It plays out a little like a slice of life film and that doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing, but then it should play it straight or add some good characters. Otherwise, the film just gets a little muddled and the actual action/horror elements to the plot didn’t really do anything for me. I’d recommend taking a pass on this film. It certainly sat on the review back burner for a while and that’s partially because it just isn’t very interesting. Whether you are watching or reviewing it, there is simply not much to say. It’s just not a winner.

Overall 3/10

Captive Wild Woman Review

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It’s time for another retro review. I’m sure that the instant you saw this title you had a bad feeling about how this review was going to go down. Well, your instincts are right then. The Captive Wild Woman is a fairly terrible film that tries its best to keep on getting worse and worse as you watch it. It hits rock bottom and makes you wonder whether the film succeeded in capturing your attention as you disliked it or if it simply captured the time you spent watching it. One thing’s for sure, this will not go down as one of the ultimate monster films.

Fred is a circus guy who goes around kidnapping animals from their native habitats. Unfortunately, the wildlife preserves weren’t really ready at the time so nobody stops him from nabbing a lot of tigers, lions, and even a gorilla. His co-workers are impressed at his boldness. The only one who is too busy to bother about such things is his fiance, Beth. She lets Fred know that her sister is very sick with something that she’s always had and has never bothered her all that much, but now she wants to fix it. Fred’s understandably confused, but nods his approval. After Beth drops Dorothy off at this very suspect and shady building, she heads off. Fred’s new Gorilla ends up murdering someone who got too close to the cage and nearly finished someone else off as well. Dr. Walters uses this chance to kidnap the Gorilla and murders his assistant to give her brain to the creature. Using magic, Dr. Walters transforms the Gorilla into a lady named Paula and takes her to the circus to unravel his own plans….he succeeds!

So, what is the problem with this film? Let’s start out with the obvious case of animal violence. Once again, we see humans taking animals out of their natural habitats and forcing them to perform in cages for human amusement. That’s no better than slavery and especially when you consider that the animals aren’t being treated well at all. If they don’t do what the humans want, they get hit. It’s pretty terrible. These scenes go on for ages and ages as Fred keeps throwing the whip and never letting up. I was rooting for the animals to get him and at least they did get some of his predecessors, but Paula kept on saving him. Otherwise Fred would have been taken out of the picture very early on. Animal violence doomed this to a 0 right from the get go. It’s why I never like seeing circuses with animals in them and I’m skeptical on how they’re being handled. Luckily, you don’t really see circuses like this anymore so we’re doing something right.

Either way, there is no real way to like Fred in this adventure. For starters, he has no real problem with flirting with Paula right from the get go even though he’s already taken. Sure, the counter is probably that he didn’t really think of it as flirting and was just being nice…but I don’t buy it. He also completely ignores her the instant that his fiance comes to visit, which was also pretty over the top. When Beth finally confides in Fred and lets him know that Paula may be a villain, Fred just laughs it off instantly. He doesn’t believe her for a second and gets out of there ASAP.

Beth isn’t a great main heroine either and makes the kinds of decisions here that you would expect from the supporting characters in a Freddy Krueger film. She gets a call from her sister that something is not right and she fears for her life. The call is abruptly disconnected so Beth quickly calls the cops and gets to the bottom of this. Wait….she didn’t call the cops? Afraid not! Beth instead comes to the conclusion that there must have been something wrong with the phone line based on how calmly she walked over to the villain base without a care in the world. Naturally, Dr. Walters decides to destroy her as well, but there’s no rush. So, after letting Beth know that he’ll be destroying her in a moment, Dr. Walters lets Beth go over to the unlocked Gorilla cage which holds Paula…who has been wanting to murder Walters for a while now.
 This doesn’t end well for Walters, but I suppose anyone who didn’t check their common sense out of the door would have realized that. Then again, what do you expect from a guy whose whole plan revolved around an ex employee somehow breaking into a circus and transporting the Gorilla cage without getting slashed? (That scene made no real sense by the way…no wonder the film skipped it.)

Dorothy’s not much better than Beth. She doesn’t begin to suspect that something is up until she has a very long operation and then doesn’t get better for a few days. Seriously, she waited eons before actually making a call instead of just dashing out while Walters was busy. She had many opportunities to escape since Walters was always attending the circus and having fun messing with the main characters. No, she decided not to make a move until Walters made it back to the house and then she went down without putting any real resistance.

Dr. Walters is a pretty bad villain. He may have gotten the last word as the film ends with an epilogue about his life, but he’s a fairly terrible villain. There’s no real reason to sympathize or even understand his reasoning. His whole motivation for murdering everyone and making a human is just because he’s curious. None of it leads to anything and you have to wonder where he was going to go from here anyway. A Cat lady next? Sorry, that concept has already been taken and used by dozens of other films. Better luck next time…

Miss. Strand is another character who isn’t all that smart. She works for a mad scientist and knows that he is completely unstable. After seeing what he is about to do to the patient, she tells him up front that she will put an end to his evil plan. She’ll tell the cops and see that he goes to jail for life. Brilliant idea Miss. Strand…but why did you tell that to his face while you two are the only people in the building in the basement floor, while he is next to the door? Naturally, things don’t go well for her either.

Finally, we have Paula. By default, she is better than most of the other characters here. She is a contender for the best character in the film and I would consider that to be a great honor if her competition wasn’t so bad. She is going after a guy who is taken so that doesn’t bode over well. Plus, she’s a Gorilla so the whole relationship is warped from the start. Should have stuck to the friend zone. At least Paula was tough and could hold her own in a fight. It just wasn’t enough to help her survive a bullet in the back. (Well…with those sequels…..)

Overall, There’s nothing to really like about this film. It’s fairly short at least so that’s a slight consolation I suppose. The animal violence was just too much and you’ll be shaking your head as Dr. Walters bumps off the cast one by one. They all made the worst decisions possible. I also have to question how Paula in her gorilla form made it all the way to the circus from Dr. Walters house in time to save Fred. Based on the rest of the film, it wasn’t all that close to the circus and you’d think that one of the cops would have stopped her since they were all very trigger happy here. Perhaps the writers were going to fix this after lunch, but the film was already due by then so they never got a chance. Either way, this is a film that you should skip. Go take a nap instead.

Overall 0/10

The Wolf Man Review

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THE-WOLF-MAN-1941-POSTER-Beyond-Horror-Design
It’s time for another super old horror film. Compared to the last films that I’ve reviewed, this one looks great, but as a film overall it is not that good. It’s a lot more fun and charismatic, but if you’re looking at this like a horror film, then it’s going to disappoint you quite a lot. There is nothing scary about this film at all and for the most part it plays out like a comedy. The main character really reminds me of Bill Murray though, to the point where the main character here looks almost identical to him. Hmmm…maybe I just haven’t seen enough Murray movies though.

Larry moves to a little village to meet up with his father after a relative’s untimely demise. They haven’t talked much before this so the situation is rather tricky for a little while, but they soon get along quite well. The main problem now is getting the other villagers to like him. Larry doesn’t worry about that for very long though as he looks through his window and happens to see a lady. He quickly believes this to be love at first sight and hounds her until she agrees to a meet up along with one of her friends to get their fortune told. One thing leads to another and Larry/Gwen decide to ditch the friend for a few minutes. Larry sees her get murdered by a Werewolf and destroys it, but now he is being framed for murder and turning into one himself. Will his will power hold out?

The whole romance plot here is quite bad though. First off, Larry is persistent to the point of being a nuisance the whole time and then we find out that Gwen already has a fiancee. (I think it was a fiancee, could have just been a normal boyfriend) Yet, she continues to hang out with him which is basically giving him hope even if he’s the one who is constantly following her. She’s sort of playing the field which is always sad to see. Larry’s a pretty bad character though so it’s hard to feel all that bad for him.

At least Larry can be amusing though. He gets a few good one liners in and his voice was made for comedy. That being said, his will power is incredibly weak and if he was going to run, he should have done it right away. He waited way too long for his plans and that’s why they didn’t end up working out very well. As a Werewolf, he wasn’t all that impressive either. He has slight super strength and a little extra speed, but apparently it is not enough to deal with a human who is holding a blunt object. Both Werewolves don’t look so good once the fight is on.

Larry’s Dad was probably the best character in the film. He kept on reminding everyone that there were no such things as Werewolves and even decided to tie up Larry so that he could watch this and be freed from his paranoia. His main mistake was deciding to leave Larry alone after that. The ending would typically be super tragic, but it’s not handled too heavily. It’s given appropriate emotional value, but it isn’t beaten to death like a modern film would probably do. Extended crying scenes and all of that, the Wolf Man skips all of that.

For once, there actually was a bit of a soundtrack here. Mainly because this film has a big contrast between happy and evil scenes. It’s something that newer films don’t really do, but the older ones were well known for this. For example, whenever the main heroine would appear, the music would quickly go up and the tone would be lighter. When the Werewolf appeared, the music would suddenly slow and get very tense. It’s a nice contrast and I’m also just happy to finally have a soundtrack to talk about as well. It feels like it has been quite a while.

While I am still an advocate for all movies being as long as possible, the short length works pretty well. After all, if a film’s writers don’t know how they could stretch a film out without watering it down, then it’s not worth it. For a film like Batman V Superman or Avengers, I could easily see it being 4 hours and not really being any worse. Those scenes would be useful character development, but what would the Wolf Man do with an extra hour? No, the short length is for the best and as it is, we get a nice array of different scenes. Seeing the doctors and cops subtly question Larry while also insinuating that he is the culprit was a well done scene. Again, I’ve got to give Larry’s Dad some props here for also talking a good game. He reminds Larry that nobody can remove him from the premises, not even the cops. Apparently the rich family name has even more clout than I could have dared imagine.

The weak romance is really what hurts this film. It makes Larry look unreasonable and turns him into an unlikable character while it also makes Gwen look bad for even going around with him in the first place. It didn’t really need to be in this film and if that time was used for more dialogue with Larry’s Dad or something like that instead, the film could have definitely sneaked in a 7. As it is, I think that aspect weakens the film enough to justify taking the star away. If the Werewolves didn’t have such weak will power, it could actually be useful to have the ability of transformation.

Overall, The Wolf Man is certainly one of the better classic movie monster films from Universal. It’s definitely aged a lot better than Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Mummy. This film has quite a few sequels and crossovers so who knows, I may end up being on the Wolf Man’s side for just about all of them. That being said, he is easily one of the weakest so I’m not sure if he’ll really have much of a future in those fights. He’ll definitely have to use a lot of tactical strategies. By the end of the film, you should hopefully know the Werewolf legend word for word since it is repeated over and over again by many different characters. If you want to get the most enjoyment from this film, go in expecting a comedy. Trust me, it’ll feel like one as you watch it.

Overall 6/10

Cult of The Cobra Review

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Time to look at another retro film by Universal. This one definitely came out quite a while ago and I will admit that I have never heard of it before. The poster is certainly intriguing and I never get tired of seeing the scared looks on everyone’s face as they look at the main characters of the film. It was a staple of the old films after all and they do have a good reason to be very afraid. After all, their lives may be in grave danger!

A group of American soldiers were getting ready to go to New York, but they hadn’t found anything really cool to take pictures of. They became fascinated by a man who could play music to a snake and one American mentioned how their was a religious cult who believes that people could turn into snakes and vice versa. The old man told them that he could take them to a meeting so they could see for themselves…for 100 dollars plus 10 up front. The heroes went and saw an intriguing show with a whole lot of dancing. Unfortunately, one of the members was drunk out of his mind and decided to take a very bright and loud picture of the show. Naturally, this did not fly with the members there and they decided to attack.

The army members were able to escape thanks to their military training, but one of their members died to a Cobra bite and they were cursed so that the rest would die the same way. Was this real or was it fantasy? Most of the members disregarded this right away, but then a mysterious lady moved next door and all of the animals were afraid of her. Also, more of the army members started to die from mysterious accidents. It may take a rocket scientist to put the clues together before it is too late!

This is certainly a classic horror film at its core. The Cobra even gets her own theme music. Whenever she puts on her serious face, the music speeds up and you know that one of the army guys is going to die…or at least be threatened. She typically gets to play her theme music at least three times before any fatalities occur. You know that the characters will be toast, but you just don’t know when they will bite the big one. Even the wife of one of the main character is nearly taken down, but the handy dandy mailman arrives just in the nick of time. That’s why speedy mail delivery is always so important right? Naturally, I’d give the soundtrack here a thumbs up. It’s not quite Resurrection F or Bonds Beyond Time, but it’s rare for a 50’s film to have any notable themes at all, so this was quite an impressive feat.

The film’s only a little bit above an hour so it’s quite short. That being said, the end of the film starts to drag just a little as you’re waiting for the heroes to make a move or for the next victim to show up. The Cobra doesn’t even seem all that sure herself as she struggles to decide whether she should go through with the murders or not. She hints that she may not be able to stop herself, but it’s hard to tell whether she meant that physically or just about the honor of it all. Either way, if she really wanted to settle down, not murdering the main guy’s friends would have been a good way to start. As she was a half hearted villain, I can see why she never became as big as characters Dracula or the Werewolf.

I was glad that the cops were actually pretty reasonable here as the evidence was pretty clear cut so they should agree that the new girl was the likely suspect. It did make sense after all right? Paul was definitely the best character in the film as he always suspected that there was some truth to the curse as cults would need to have someone to back them up. The way that he and Lisa handled the whole wedding arrangement admittedly lacked any form of tact or honor and came across as a little rude, but they probably hadn’t given it a whole lot of thought so they were just trying to go through the motions of being Tom’s friend even though their romance was their top concern. You will feel bad for Tom for a second, except that he went for the rebound immediately which shows that he’s the kind of guy who can move on way too quickly.

I think this film could have used a little more action. Not a whole lot happens and that’s usually okay, but a good portion of the film is spent on giving the cobra some character development, which ultimately doesn’t go anywhere. That screen time could have been better used for some fights against the Cobra. Some of the characters struggle, like throwing vases and things of the sort, but how can you not be able to outrun a Cobra? At the very least, you can manage to land a hit right? Even if the bite happens first, you can squash it…of course, that would have hurt the film’s score so it’s a double edged sword.

It should be noted that the film takes the high road with the animal violence so I have to give it kudos for that. A dog, cat, and a horse appear and they are all spared. There was one scary scene where we think that the cobra will attack the dog, but this doesn’t happen. I think the dog should have been a little braver and could have approached the cobra, but since that could have been dicey, I’m fine with this. The shaking was a bit much though and you’ll feel bad for the little guy.

Overall, Cult of The Cobra was a good film. It was probably a little more dull than some of the other retro classics, but it was still an interesting film. My favorite part of it was probably the opening scenes as that could have been expanded into a film in its own right. I wouldn’t have minded if it was about them infiltrating the cult, but that’s another plot for another film I suppose. The characters were decently developed even though you knew that they would be toast by the end. Snakes aren’t too scary compared to other monsters so this definitely won’t scare you at this point, but that’s all right. The solid music theme for the cobra will be good enough for the horror/thriller aspect. If you like these retro thrillers, then I certainly recommend it. It may not be the most exciting tale out there, but it’s fairly short and the writing is solid.

Overall 6/10

Van Helsing Review

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It’s time for a vampire film review! After Twilight, I know that it can be a little hard to take vampire films seriously anymore. To my defense, I have always been against them. They just don’t make for very interesting characters. Luckily, we also get Dr. Hyde, Frankenstein’s Monster, and a vampire hunter. Adding in all of these fighters should help to make things better….I hope!

The plot revolves around the hunter known as Van Helsing. He’s notorious around many regions of the world and everyone has heard of him. He has quite the reputation after all. He finishes off a few monsters and his boss sends him to go meet Anna. He has to keep her alive to foil Dracula’s plans. Unfortunately, her brother has already been taken down so Dracula’s plan is almost complete. Will the heroes be able to put aside their differences and defeat him? It’s a longshot, but it may be possible!

Well, this is essentially how I pictured a film with Dracula as the main villain. I’m sure that Dracula may become a cool character someday, but I’m just not buying it. I really didn’t like him here and disliking the main villain can definitely hurt in the long run. Before we really discuss the film, let’s look at the cast involved.

Van Helsing is our lead and he’s basically the Jonah Hex of the group. He’s the confident professional who always gets his man and he doesn’t back down from a fight. That’s pretty noble is it not? Well, I’d argue that he’s all talk. His first fight scene against Mr. Hyde is supposed to show us just how hardcore he is. It only serves to prove the opposite as Van Helsing continues to brag despite being outmatched. He should have been destroyed several times during the fight and he only makes it out thanks to Hyde’s overconfidence.

After that, he gets beaten up on by Dracula’s two henchwomen before getting knocked around by Dracula himself. Van Helsing may not be human, but he may as well be for all the good that it does him. He’s just completely outmatched and that makes it tough for him to pose a threat to anyone. His personality is really generic in the end and there’s nothing to separate him from the other main leads of a hollywood film.

Anna is certainly not the next Black Widow. She takes pride in her overall ability, but it’s simply not enough in this film. Perhaps she could give the average human a run for their money, but she definitely wasn’t prepared for Dracula and his cronies. Due to her family history, you would expect her to have a little more experience. Unfortunately for for her, Anna gets thrown around for the entire film. Van Helsing even takes her out with his handy dandy sleeping gas. Anna continues to talk tough until the very end, but it’s very hard to take seriously.

How can anyone really take a fighter seriously when they talk tough and get defeated the next moment? I believe that it’s supposed to be inspirational to see the hero mocking the villains even while being kicked around, but I can’t say that it’s very good character development. Anna essentially serves as a parody to the tough female lead that we are used to seeing nowadays. She never really had an edge in any of her fights and it definitely wasn’t a fun showing for her. Perhaps things will turn around if this film got a sequel..too bad it won’t get one at this rate. At least she beats most of the other characters in the film…it just isn’t saying much.

Dracula is the big bad. He’s the head honcho and the ultimate evil in the film! His design is a little off putting since Dracula’s hairstyle is usually a little more subdued. Nontheless, it’s always good to have a powerful villain. Unfortunately, Dracula loves to squander his power as he holds it all back until it’s too late. He spends a lot of time talking to his minions and showing us why he’s such a terrible villain. It’s impossible to root for him while he’s so preoccupied in doing things that don’t really help his plan. His minions are constantly distracting him.

Dracula is also supposed to be immensely powerful, but we don’t really see a lot of this. His two guards seem to be a lot stronger than him. They could move at super speed! Dracula didn’t really show a lot of that, but he does have a good amount of regeneration at the ready. If it could have worked more towards the ending, things would have gotten pretty interesting. This is one of those times where power isn’t enough. Dracula is powerful, but he’s still not a great villain. He simply doesn’t have what it takes and that’s the way that I see it. Dracula’s brides were no better. They were mostly there to be really dramatic and help Dracula in his inevitable downfall. They didn’t have much of a role as characters.

Carl is Van Helsing’s assistant and he’s here to keep things light. It’s sad when characters are really just in a story for comic relief. Carl should at least try to be helpful and get some big moments. Technically, fans could argue that he had a crucial role at the end, but I can’t say that I buy it. They were really generic moments meant to make us like Carl a little more. No! Carl is the type of sidekick that I just can’t root for. Give him a few years to learn how to fight and improve his tech…then we’ll talk. As it stands, Carl was definitely expendable.

Frankenstein’s Monster disappears for most of the film, but he finally comes back towards the end. He’s played off pretty accurately from the book. He’s a misunderstood hero and everyone wants to destroy him as per usual. It’s definitely not fun to be a monster. His design was definitely hard to look at and while he could fight..he was pretty slow. Making him so traditional may not have been a great move. At least he helped to add to the monster count, but he was mostly unnecessary.

Igor is one of the more minor villains in the film. He defected to the side of the villains so that he could fulfill his evil ambitions….or not. I wish that it had been for such a deep reason. Regardless, Igor just isn’t a good villain. He’s very weak and he doesn’t stand a chance against any real character. He likes to hit people when they’re down, but he’s no match for a real opponent. Igor typically isn’t a likable character in the films and this one is no exception.

Velkan is a supporting character at best. He does get a decent number of scenes though and he may be stronger than we thought. There’s a plot twist that keeps him relevant for a while. Needless to say, he lacked strength of character and I can’t say that he was very impressive at the beginning of the film. Everyone looked bad though, but the overall plan was terrible. His reaction times weren’t great either and it’s a lose-lose situation. If only he had been stronger!

It should be noted that some scenes will stretch your limits for disbelief. The “plot hax” in this film isn’t concealed very well. Anna is thrown through a window and she bangs a lot of wood beams and the wall as she went crashing down. It was a pretty big blast that a human likely wouldn’t survive. Likewise, Dracula’s brides kept slapping her around while throwing Van Helsing into walls. Both of them should have been out of commission considering how powerful they were.

The biggest moment where you may have to facepalm is the final fight between Dracula and a powerful creature. By all accounts, Dracula should have crushed his opponent. The film didn’t show us anything to suggest otherwise so I don’t see why it was such a close fight. In fact, Dracula is on the defensive the entire time and he seems very worried. He should at least try to act tough on the outside since that’s what all of the heroes do anyway. This film just made the mistake of making the villains too powerful. When that happens, the heroes always have to win in really fake ways like what we saw here.

The fight scenes ranged from pretty good to decent. The final fight with Dracula is pretty fun to watch since it’s essentially a monster bout. It was also good to see Dracula’s brides take on the village. Their super speed feats were pretty impressive and they should have destroyed everyone without any real effort. The plot wouldn’t allow it, but that’s how powerful they were. Other battles were less interesting like Van Helsing versus Hyde. It was way too one sided and the fight was pretty boring.

The soundtrack was mostly absent from the film. Luckily, there is still a really good theme that plays during the ending and at one point near the beginning. It’s very operatic and that’s the kind of theme that can make a scene become a lot cooler. It would have been cool if it had played more, but it’s enough to grant the soundtrack a passing score.

Finally, the film did have some unnecessary romance. It’s squeezed in at the last second for the heroes so you can tell that they just wanted to throw it in. Dracula and his brides also have some wince worthy scenes that are pretty sad. Sure, it could be worse, but this certainly didn’t help the film win any points.

Overall, This film lived up to my hopes for a Dracula film. I’ll never like Vampires at this rate and there will likely only be a few exceptions by the end. (Strauss is epic) There was a moment where some animal violence concerned me, but the animal lived, which was great. Still sad to see it get hit, but at least it managed to tank the blast. The film mostly suffered from the fact that it dragged on for too long and it wasn’t terribly interesting. Cutting out Dracula and Frankenstein’s monster would have helped it a lot. Or, make Dracula a compelling character as he punches people out instead of biting them. That could have been a nice twist. This film felt like I Frankenstein, but the normalized version that can be more acceptable to the crowds. Unfortunately, the crowds didn’t include me this time. If you like Vampire movies, then you should like this one. Otherwise, I’d advise you to steer clear of it. Watch I Frankenstein if you want a film with lots of magical creatures going at it. Perhaps I was a little harsh on the film since it could have made more mistakes, but it definitely made enough of them. A cooler cast with better action scenes could have potentially bumped this up to a 6 if handled right. Maybe next time.

Overall 4/10